Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 14

A Circle of Friends

"I think he is sleeping," Madam Pomfrey told the Headmaster as she returned to the castle after taking Remus to the willow. "It was worse tonight. I heard him twice, then silence."

"He is growing older," the Headmaster said sadly. "Was the pain potion used?"

"No." Madam Pomfrey felt tears sting her eyes. "Until you can tell me the proper dosage for a wolf, I won't give it to him and if you want to, I swear to Merlin, I will bring the Ministry down on your head so fast you will think the dementors are after you."

"There, there, Poppy," he put his arm around her shoulder and let her cry. "Perhaps we can have Hagrid run some tests for us."

"That oaf will let it slip out, you know it as well as I. He means well but I would trust him with my life before I would trust him with a secret."

"Go get something to eat, it will be a long night and you missed dinner. I will keep watch until you return."

"I'll just grab a sandwich and an extra blanket. He expects me to wait outside for him."

"Are his faculties that far advanced?" Albus frowned.

"I don't know and I won't take the chance."

The Headmaster opened the door for her and let her enter before he turned to the path that took him across the grounds to the patch near the forest that held the Whomping Willow. He had not been here in many months, not since Mrs. Lupin had nervously awaited her son's emergence from a much kinder transformation. Before that, he could not remember the last time he had needed to walk down what he considered to be the back of the castle. He looked to the horizon on the far side of the lake, over the top of the sloping mountain and knew the moon would not set early tonight. It was late in the year for a Hunter's Moon, like the Harvest Moon, it rose while the sun still shone in the sky and stayed until the gold of the sun blocked out its face.

He clasped his hands behind his back and walked slowly back to the castle. He wondered if it were the Hunter's Moon that caused the further transformations rather than the age of the child, the length of time since infection, or any number of things Poppy kept on her list. He would tell Poppy to start charting the monthly changes with each moon. Perhaps they would be better prepared next year.

Remus still fought to stay awake. He had been worried when he had heard Madam Pomfrey walk away. He'd cocked his head to the side, sniffed the air and knew she had headed back to the castle. Standing on his new front wolf legs, he had paced the small room until a heavy footfall came. He lifted his nose and sniffed, smelling lemon drops and the same soap his mother used on her Sunday dress, he fell to his belly and rested his head on his paws. He was no longer alone.

He wasn't all wolf yet, his body still trapped between the two. His still little boy mind tried to concentrate on boggarts, wanting to will his away but no longer able to laugh to do it. A soft whine filled his mouth, wanting him to lift his head to the ceiling and let it out. He could still smell the Headmaster, and lowered his head to his paws. He could not be heard. Not now, not ever.

He felt his mother tap his chest, he died for you, make him proud, echoed in his mind. He heard her voice and whined again looking to the blanket that Poppy had brought. He knew he could make it to morning if he really, really tried. He bit his paw, unable to stop the pain in his chest where she had said to keep Dad. He needed to replace the pain and put it where he could focus on it. Seeing the pale greyish fur turn bloody, he whimpered and began to lick and bite his paw in turn.

.

.

Madam Pomfrey handed him the sketch of the man he used every time he emerged from the tunnel. It was a crude sketch of a naked man, arms outstretched, front and back. Remus picked up the quill and slashed at the areas that had changed, angrily sniffing, and glaring at Poppy. He didn't like this part. He didn't like to see what he had become and know that she would tell his mum. He wanted to take a shower. He wanted to eat. He wanted her to heal his hand and let him sleep. He felt his lip curl back and fought back a snarl as he lowered his head back to the parchment.

She stepped back from the bed, and looked over the boy's shoulder at the Headmaster. This was the first time she had seen the shadow of the wolf still on his face. She put out her hand, and although it still trembled in the first of her fears, she put it on his shoulder and leaned down to see the sketch.

"The Headmaster thinks it was to do with the Hunter's Moon." She said kindly. "Now that we know that, we can be better prepared next year."

He cocked his head and looked up at her from under his brows.

"Mr. Lupin," the Headmaster waved her away. "I am having your breakfast tray brought up here. You will be our guest for the next few hours."

"No," Remus spat. "I told her I am …"

"Mr. Lupin!" The Headmaster raised his voice. "Need I remind you why you are here? The time has come to delay your return to your rooms. From this time on you will stay here half a day more. We must be sure you are ready."

"Cor, bloody hell, what happened to your hand?" Peter looked up from his bed where he lay on his stomach reading.

"Fell," Remus shrugged. "Kept me up in the infirmary, but didn't need to. Did you get my homework assignments?"

"Yeah, James is bringing them up. He had a detention with Sluggy."

"Sirius too?" Remus grinned as Peter nodded.

"You told McGonagall about … you know, my mum and dad."

Remus nodded and reddened.

"Its okay, she flooed my Mum and let me talk to her. Mum says Gramms is full of shite and that my Dad says I can spend the hols with him if I want."

"You doing it?"

"Dad's at Gramms house," Peter said quietly. "I'd rather go to Mum's, but she said he can come and visit if he wants, so … maybe it won't be so bad."

"I need to change. If they come back let me know, okay. If I get behind in my homework Mum'll kill me."

Remus grabbed some clean clothes and ran off to the shower. He quickly showered and dressed, keeping his eyes turned from the mirror, unable to look at the still swollen joints and the welts that ran down his ribs. Madam Pomfrey had explained that each time a new area transformed he was to expect this, until his human flesh healed to the new shape he needed to keep transforming. His shirt fitted him more tightly than it had just two days ago, his shoulders having gained an extra layer of muslcle that would enable his human body to help pull itself around the shifting bones. He put on his robes hoping that they could hide the change.

That night as his roommates slept, he slipped out of bed and quietly lifted the lid of his trunk and took out the book his mother had bought him. Sneaking out of his room, and down the steps, he sought a place to hide. Sliding into one of the many alcoves around the perimeter of the common room he sat crossed legged and leafed through the pages until he found the one he remembered.

Up until how he had studied only the bodies of the animals, avoiding the eyes that stared back at him from the cold pictures. Now he placed the book in the diamond of his legs and bent forward, lowering his head to look fully into the face of his future.

He felt his ear as he looked at the picture and remembered hearing Madam Pomfrey leave, and the Headmaster's steps. Since no bone was involved, he wondered why he had felt pain as they changed and twisted, not only lengthening, but changing position and tilt. He turned the page and looked at the picture of a wolf sitting on its haunches, its snout upturned, its mouth partly opened and eyes closed, and could hear the silent howl. Tears rushed to his eyes, he used the back of his hand and wiped at his face.

"Hey, Squirt," Sirius crawled in beside him. "Heard you leave and been looking all over for you. What's wrong?"

Remus' head snapped up, his wet eyes visible in the near dark.

Sirius stared at him, then reached out with his finger as if to touch Remus' eye. "Are you an Animagus?"

Remus lowered his head and sniffed loudly.

"Your eyes are bloody awesome," Sirius sat back on his heels. "Can you do any more?"

"No," Remus closed the book and wiped his eyes again, scared to say more.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt when you do it?"

Remus' bit his lip and nodded, then looked up and began to cry in earnest. "It hurts so bad sometimes. Sometimes I don't think I can do it."

"Sirius!" James whispered. "If McGonagall finds out you are… Remus?"

"Shut up and get in here," Sirius scooted over closer to Remus. "He's an Animagus."

"Is not," James smirked. "My Dad knows one, and he says kids can't do it and if they do it's because they are born that way"

"Yes they can," Sirius turned back to peer at Remus' eyes. "The Blacks have Animagi in the family. Some studied how to do and even registered with the Ministry."

"Yeah, well maybe a Black could, but not a mud-blood. Sorry kid, but you have to be a real powerful wizard to do that sort of thing."

"My Mum, she's powerful, and my Dad…"

"Your dad was a Muggle. Don't count," James sniggered. "I don't know any wizard that can do it. Let me see then."

Remus lifted his head and looked into the brighter light behind Potter, hearing him suck in his breath. "Bloody hell!"

"Where'd ya learn it?" Sirius asked.

"Don't know," Remus looked nervously from one to the other. "Just happened."

"See?" James punched Sirius on the arm. "Told ya."

"Yeah, but you said only real wizards could do it so don't give me that," Sirius flopped back to sit on the floor.

"You won't tell anyone will ya?" Remus hiccupped and tried to stop crying.

"Nah," Sirius leaned back against the wall.

"Not if you show us how you do it," James smirked.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius was suddenly excited. "How'd ya do it? Is there a spell … or… what?"

"I ..." Remus stammered and shrugged his shoulders.

"Gimme that." James grabbed the wolf book and started looking at the pictures. "There ain't nothing in here. What is this Lupin?"

"I just look at it is all."

"You don't have to say something? An incantation or something?" He saw Remus shake his head.

"Then you must be a natural," Sirius said knowingly. "Only a natural born can choose what their animal form will be."

"We need to get something from the Library on it," James said. "If we can't find it here we can get it over the hols. I bet my Dad has something on it."

Sirius frowned, "My Dad would skin me alive if I took one of his books."

They heard the chime of the clock and looked at each other alarmed at the time. If McGonagall was going to have a bed check she would be on her way. Further thoughts of Animagi and forbidden books, were forgotten as they ran back to their room and jumped in bed.

.

.

"What do you mean they know?" Rhea shouted at him. "How can you just stand there and think they will keep your secret? Of all the people you could have slipped up with a Black is the worse. I heard about his family! They are dangerous. You have no idea of what they are capable of! When I first heard it I thought it was a lie, but I've been asking around. Moody and John have even shown me what the Ministry has on file. You're not going back. That's it. We have to move again."

"Mum, no, he's okay, really." He tried to grab her arm, to make her stop and listen to him. "They just think I can change, not that it means I am a werewolf."

"Why didn't you come right home? Why didn't you go to the Headmaster? Damn it Remus! You know what can happen!"

She continued to stride back and forth in front of the fireplace, raking her hands through her hair as she thought of Marcus and the woman that had loved him. If he had kept up his guard , not letting her in, able to live without her, he would still be alive. She turned back and looked at him, suddenly exhausted with the fight.

"Remus," she sighed, and crossed to the sofa sitting down and patting the cushion next to her. "What now?"

"Mum?" He sat next to her, snuggling up and resting his head on her shoulder. "They think I am an Animagi. We go up on the Astronomy tower and practice doing it. Really Mum, they want to be like me."

"Once they find out … Oh Remus," she said softly. "I know how hard it must be for you…"

"No you don't," he jumped up off the sofa and clenched his fists.

"Remus!" She stood to ready to do battle, until she saw him shove his hands in his pockets and lower his eyes, managing to control his anger.

"I want to have friends like the other kids. I'm the only one that didn't know someone already and they talk to me, Mum. They treat me like every one else. Please, Mum. I got to go back. I just got to."

"Not until I talk to the Headmaster… no don't look like that… I tell him what happened or you don't go back."

Remus nodded and kicked the carpet. "Mum?"

"No, that's my final word."

"Not that." He tried to grin. "Can I get any book I want for Christmas?"

He got his book when he opened the package that waited on the foot of his bed that Christmas Morning. He was anxious, but looking forward to returning to Hogwarts. To sit with his friends and learn how to do a magical transformations that should have been years ahead of them.

That December he slept in the barn when he transfigured, not worrying about making noise or waking naked. Rhea snapped the manacles around his ankles and sat close until he pushed her away.

She slid back from him, just out of the chains reach, horrified at the new changes and growing wolf she saw. When he laid his still mostly human head on his paws and looked at her, whining and excitably trying to inch closer she reached out and stroked him, ever careful to keep her body at a distance. As his eyes drifted shut, she crawled to him, and laid her face against his fur. She stroked his back and thought of the three young boys that had befriended him, and prayed they would not betray her son.