Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is fanfiction.

Warning: Fem! Luffy, LawLu, old wild west inspired AU, out of character, errors

A TANKARD OF FRUSTRATION

Under the light of a single oil-fed lamp, the outlaw busied himself with his disassembled revolver, his good old peacemaker, cleaning it religiously like a surgeon preparing his tools for an operation. He knew his unit was slower than most in getting back in action after releasing a load, but it packs hell of a power in just one round. One shot, perfect aim – that sounds about right. Law smirked to himself, clearly pleased.

"You know you have pretty eyes." Luffy commented, all of a sudden, making Law almost drop the bore brush in his hand. He found himself looking back at her.

The girl had a hand under her chin, lying on her stomach at the mattress and staring at the outlaw's profile. He just noticed how she gazed at him intently. Law didn't want to admit but he begun to feel a tad bit self-conscious under her scrutiny. Luffy, on the hand, continued to look at him as if he was the most interesting person in the world.

They've been in Punk Hazard for three days now, pretending to be Mr. and Mrs. Brownbeard on the surface so as not to draw any unwanted attention. It is scandalous for two unmarried young man and woman to travel together unchaperoned. While Law went around gathering information, he intended for Luffy to look after the gold and Bepo. But more often than not, he'd find her waltzing around town, much to his ire.

He may have thrown a fit at her earlier, while he was explaining his new course of action. Luffy was too stubborn, refusing to cooperate. It was simple enough to just follow exactly what he said but she suggested this and that. To scrimp the sanity he had left, he just gave her some silent treatment. The girl must have settled on observing him for her own amusement. Why else would she be staring at him all night long, he concluded.

Law decided to ignore her and went back to cleaning his gun. Luffy sank into the bed and rolled her eyes as she literally rolled on top of the covers. She eventually stopped and crossed her arm over her chest, eyes trained on the ceiling, no longer focused on the tattooed man. "I don't like your plan." She flatly stated.

"You don't have to like it. What you have to do, however, is to stay here and lay low for a while. Then wait for me at the town's gates with Bepo when the time comes. Simple as that." Law rehashed the plan he had told her a while ago.

How many times would he have to repeat it for her to get it?

He would stake out Caesar in the pub he frequents on the weekends to confirm the location of the drug den. Infiltrate the said den and find the workshop where he makes those additives they use to make fake gold. Wreak havoc discretely and escape with her waiting on him. That wasn't so hard for her, was it?

Luffy now sat at the edge of the bed, a small frown marring her face as she softly murmured. "But you, all that and alone…" Heaving a deep sigh, the outlaw set his tool and part of his gun on the table top. He turned to her, grey eyes capturing brown ones firmly.

"It doesn't concern you anymore, Miss Straw Hat." Law said with certain air of finality in his voice. It wasn't necessary to drag her further into the muck. While associating herself with someone like him more or less have already muddied her reputation, he still have the decency to give her a chance to go back.

She then leapt out of the bed and firmly stood, fists clenched as she yelled, "NO!"

His eyebrows involuntarily twitched.

Luffy marched towards him and jabbed a finger square to his chest, "You're in an alliance with me! I should be helping you since you're going to help me, too. How can I let a friend go alone in his mission?" The outlaw scowled at her, pressing forward to meet her accusing glare, "I told you. We're not –"

She turned away from him and shrugged, hands thrown in the air while rolling her eyes. "And it's no fun to just wait with all this gold. I think we should just beat –" Her voice was a little too loud. The outlaw swore he heard footsteps outside their room. Instinctively, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. A tattooed hand clamped on her mouth as he hissed. "Shush, your voice."

Luffy squirmed against the outlaw. She didn't like being manhandled even if the offending party smelled like gunpowder, leather and fresh sweat – like an adventure. Warmth promptly crept into her cheeks for reasons she wasn't certain why. Law made sure they were long gone before he released his grasp on the girl.

"See, this is why I told you to stay put. Beating someone's ass is your only solution to every problem." He narrowed his eyes at her, knowing what she was going to say before she finished. They had only met for not long but he already had this part of her noted. Luffy simply scratched her nose, looking both confused and irritated. "But it's much easier that way!"

Law groaned, reassembling his revolver in a careful hurry as he responded. "You promised to help me, right? Well, you're doing a bad job at it."

"That's only because Torao's plan sucks." She scrambled back to the bed and sat on it cross-legged. Law shut his eyes for a second. "No, we are not beating Caesar's ass head-on if that's what you're getting at."

Her picking on her nose only added to his misery. He tried to keep a grip on the situation. Though frankly, he needs a break. "You know what, I'm tired. You've been on the bed for two nights now. It's my turn."

"Won't you at least let me keep watch outside the pub?" Luffy offered as a compromise while Law walked over the bed and lightly pushed the seated girl towards the edge. "Still no. Move." The girl remained planted on her spot.

"Why? I thought you liked sleeping on the floor." His eyebrow twitched again. For days, they've been sleeping under the stars, often reclining on Bepo for an ounce of relief. But most of the time, they lied on the ground which wasn't exactly comfortable. Honestly, his back felt like that of an old man's. "I want to sleep on the bed. Get off."

"Hey, we could share!" Luffy chirped at him, smiling without any thought behind it. "I know Dadan said it's not okay but I always sleep with my brothers. You're my friend so it's alright. I snore a lot but you snore too so we're cool."

Somehow only the part where Luffy suggested they share the bed registered on his head, the rest of her words drowned in his fatigued consciousness.

Law was no gentleman but he respected his acquaintance enough to consider some semblance of propriety, so to speak. Yet here she was insinuating such a misconduct. Not that he's adverse to the idea, he did find Miss Straw Hat very appealing.

Hell naw! This will only make things complicated between them. Even if the thought of her felt enticing, he waved those imaginations away. He won't fall for whatever it is that she's doing to him. Quick, think of her picking her nose and snorting snot bubbles! "NO!" He insisted strongly, surprising the girl a little. Noticing this, Law cleared his throat and regarded coolly this time. "No, you'll be sleeping on the floor tonight."

Luffy decided to let it go and tuck herself on the piles of blanket on the floor. The outlaw missed the devious smile gracing her face – that kind of smile which either meant the person's up to no good or has an idea you definitely won't like. Yeah, that kind of impish smile.

Law plopped to the bed, feeling thoroughly exhausted.

Nearly five hours and still no sign of Caesar. He paid good money for this information (though he may or may have not stole it back). Ah, if Luffy could see him now. She sure will go nuts with his fake stache and might even try it on for herself.

His mouth gaped open in shock.

The hell was he thinking. He took another swig of his diluted ale. So far he'd only seen a bunch of the madman's lackeys. They were easy to spot, weak-willed men boosting their ego by walking around like they own the place, harassing several of the saloon girls and starting nonsense arguments with some of the patrons in any chance they could get.

Dawn was approaching soon, at least in an hour or two but still nothing. Still no sight of his target. He was about to refill his mug when the doors swung open, a bunch of suspicious characters marching inside. And lo and behold, just like in the photos – Caesar had just dropped in.

However, Law wasn't a bit pleased. His day had just began.

Their group settled at the nicest spot in the whole saloon, considerable distance from the stools and tables commoners occupied. It looked like he had two important visitors. They were talking in hushed voices with Caesar laughing every now and then.

Law tried to grab a seat near them without appearing suspicious, to eavesdrop.

But with the noise and the distance, it doesn't seem possible. He felt annoyed. It was too conspicuous to occasionally pass by since none of the other patrons went near there nor even looked too long in their direction. Just the usual, one glance and hushed whisper sort.

Only the barmaids and the saloon girls flutter by freely. Especially that ditzy looking brunette whom one of Caesar's guests have been calling on frequently to serve them drinks even if she spilled a couple of them.

He might have seen her finger carelessly soak into one of the mugs. It peeved him.

But they didn't mind her at all, looking pleased whenever she bounces by, eyes trailing on her derrière. At least, there's one mystery solved. Admittedly, it was a nice backside. But Luffy's probably is more…He downed another tankard (of mostly melted ice rather than liquor at this point).

He knew it was a bad idea to bring her along. Now, he's suffering the consequences of his stupidity. Brilliant! He's doomed, lost and horny. Just great. And the object of his amorous intents is probably more enamoured with his horse than himself.

Law snapped his mind back to his present problem.

"Eeep, sorry!" The saloon girl he'd been observing had just bumped him, dropping a used and wet warm towel on his lap. He immediately glared at her but to his surprise, he was met with a very familiar grinning face, if the scar under the brunette's left eye wasn't indication enough.

The outlaw grabbed her wrist and pulled her close to a stool next to him. He leaned at her, their faces only inches apart. Law gritted his teeth and whispered sharply by her ear, "You… Why? Why are you here?"

"Err, what are you talking about good mister sir?" She pursed her lips and sweat bullets. The poor girl darted her eyes elsewhere, looking anywhere else but directly to his steely gaze. "You're a bad liar, Miss Straw Hat."

She smacked his hand away and sat still on the stool. "I'm not Miss Straw Hat. I'm Lucy." Her awkward smile didn't helped her even a bit. Though it doesn't really matter by now. Law clamped his eyes shut in disbelief. "I told you to stay at the inn but you still roam around. And now you're here, even if I told you to wait for me with Bepo! Why do you never listen to me?" He tried to keep his voice low.

Just how did the girl managed to sneak in, donning a saloon girl outfit – frilly skirts, tight corsets, painted rouge and all. Not to mention the generous neckline. Law internally slapped himself. The wig on her head was disorienting though.

Her eyes widened, only recognizing the other just now. "Torao?! How can it be?" She cupped his face and tilted it to left and right, obviously amazed. "When did you have a moustache? How can you hide this from me?!" However, the outlaw wasn't the least bit amused. "See! How did they even let you in?"

"Who cares? I'm already here. Either I'll help you out or I'll help myself to the food." Luffy grinned at him and drawled. "Sooo, what will it be?"

Law groaned and eventually sighed in defeat. "Might as well take this opportunity." Luffy gave the man's shoulder a pat, still grinning. "I knew you'll see it my way, shishishi."

"You cheeky wench." Luffy will be the death of him someday, he thought. Yet the corner of his lips upturned.

Sabo reread the note in his hand for the fifth time.

Gone for an adventure!

Don't look for me.

With love, Luffy

The familiar chicken scratch like writing and the way the letters were spaced without harmony. There was no mistaking it. Luffy wrote this note.

He couldn't believe it but at the same time, he kind of expected it. He knew – he and Ace knew their younger sister had been dying to go out there. But for Luffy to just do it all of a sudden, it caught them all off guard.

Distraught, Dadan told them how nothing was too unusual with Luffy that day. They started the morning like any other, baked and cooked, and the girl had some lessons on knitting (which as usual, ended up as a big mess). Ace begun to give her an headache as he rounded the house, arguing that maybe Luffy was just playing hide and seek.

It was then that Sabo noticed the more-than-usual presence of flowers in their parlour. Come to think of it, there were also suspicious beautifully wrapped boxes on her sister's room. The blond man began to put two and two together as he turned to Dadan, face pale.

"Dadan… could you be?" Sabo's tone caught Ace's attention, the freckled-man eyed at his brother in worry. "Could you be entertaining suitors for Luffy?" Ace eyes widened.

The old woman snorted, "Of course! Your sister's soon past the prime age for marrying. It's about time if ya ask me."

"DADAN! How could you? Our sweet innocent little sister amongst those leering wolves? I can't even… And how could have done this without us in here? Who knows what could happen? "Ace yelled, voice thundering in the room. Sabo shared his sentiment.

"It's hard enough to look for a man who'd be okay with that troublesome brat. And with you two around, it becomes next to impossible!" Dadan retorted, shouting just as loud, if not louder.

Then she sighed, glancing at the two cubs she just seem to have offended.

"Look, had I known this would happen, I would not have been too forceful about it. But I'm old, your old man can hardly be relied on, and the two of you, much as you insist, will eventually settle down as well..." Silence fell for a moment.

"Still I wonder where Luffy could have gone. Did she say something?" Ace inquired.

Dadan shook her head. They've exhausted Goa, looked under every nook and cranny, under every rag but still no Luffy. Just as they were trying to guess where the Luffy could be, Rebecca came rushing from the front door holding a sheet of newspaper.

"Rebecca? What's the rush? I don't think that's good for your baby." Sabo asked as Ace ushered the heaving girl to a seat. "No, I'm fine. We're fine. More importantly, look at this!" Rebecca shoved the paper she held on their faces.

Great Exile in Punk Hazard. Local Sheriff leads the investigation regarding the massive explosion that occurred…

"These things sort of happen every day and while I'm sorry for them, I think we have more pressing issues at the moment." Said the fair-haired cowboy. "Just look!" The pregnant woman shook her head and pointed at the one of the pictures of the people leaving the area.

It was just at the corner, could barely be noticed since the highlight of the photograph was a man in tears. But the lady who had on a saloon girl's garb, riding a white horse, arms wrapped around an unknown moustached man – it was definitely her, scar under her cheek and wide eyes on that familiar face.

"This is Luffy, right?" Rebecca uttered.

Sabo's hand shook as he took the paper from the woman's hands while Ace held the other end of the paper. Both stared at it intensely as if boring holes on the picture. Their bodies shook and trembled as they clenched their fists, crumpling the sheet.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BASTARD?!"

The two hot-blooded brothers immediately set to Punk Hazard.

-TBC-

A/N: Newspapers in this AU are still delivered by News Coo because yes. No transponder snails though :) Thanks for reading on!