Yusuke's Trip to Crazy-Town

Kamiko

Finally, we ran out of opponents. I tried in vain to wipe my hands clean. Unfortunately, I had no excess cloth on me. My feet were filthy as well.

"Thirty-two!" Machiko yelled. I turned to look at her and flinched. She was worse off aesthetically than I was. I only had grime-covered hands and feet, as I'd been trying to stay relatively invisible. She had gunk up to her knees and elbows, and even smears all over her forehead and in her hair! "So, how'd you do?"

"Um…" I swallowed. "Twenty…something?"

"I win!" She pumped her fist in the air. Then both of us stiffened as a new energy wave hit us.

"I think I'll go see what that is." I spread my wings and took flight, attempting to turn invisible as well. I heard Machiko following me as we climbed higher into the air.

Then we got to a certain height and saw a giant blue bird coming towards us with two riders. One was Koenma, and the other…

"Hiya, Yusuke!" Machiko called as she lunged up harder. "How's it going?"

"Stripey! Boy, you're sure a mess; is all that from Sensui?"

"Nah, training in the forest. I got thirty-two demons!"

"Ha! You were whupping ass and taking names, is that it?"

She pulled up level with one wing and laughed. "Yup! Kurama said we were too weak to choose Sensui as a first target, so we went for some training."

"We? Kamiko's around here, too, right?"

I labored a little higher and came visible again on the bird's other side. I suspected that the bird was Pu, transformed. "I'm right here."

"Hey! So how many did you get?"

I glanced at Koenma's expression – he looked horrified at how filthy Machiko was – and replied, "I think twenty-seven."

"Not bad! Now let's go stop Sensui and save the world!"

We both dropped back and glided behind the giant bird, just off the wings. "Easier flying back here!"

"Sweet, we're like a squadron of fighter jets! Let's move in!"

The corniest thing Yusuke called as we flew in was "Sorry I'm late; the traffic was a bitch!"

Machiko started laughing. Typical.

We landed a respectable distance away and the boys dismounted.

Everyone in front of us looked shocked. Seeing that expression on Hiei's face was classic – I didn't think much of anything could surprise him.

"Is…that him?" Hiei asked.

"But…but how?" Kurama answered.

They were probably not going to notice how filthy Machiko and I were, or even that Koenma was here, for a good five minutes.

Yusuke went wandering over, delivering some remark about what lousy friends the three guys were, running off to take on Sensui by themselves.

We followed behind him. Machiko was hiding her mouth behind her hand.

"That's hardly sanitary, sis," I shot towards her, "that stuff's nasty!"

"Urameshi!" Kuwabara yelped. "But you were – but you were definitely dead, I swear it! Your heart stopped beating! I double-checked!"

"Yeah, I can't explain that," Yusuke shrugged. "In fact, my ticker's still not ticking, I guess I should be worried."

Both demon-boys sitting on the floor started laughing. Hard. Then again, Machiko and I were laughing, too – he just sounded so unconcerned it was ridiculous!

Kurama finally managed to answer, and chose to be nice. "You'll get used to that." Then he dropped a bombshell. "You see, demon hearts don't beat in the conventional human sense."

"Demon?!" was Kuwabara's only response. I just stared, and that shut Machiko up.

"Yes, demon." Koenma came over.

"I keep hoping I'll wake up soon." Kuwabara sounded like he was at the end of his rope.

I looked at Machiko. She now had a dark hand print over her nose and mouth, and I really didn't want to know what was in the stuff that had made that print.

I tuned out Koenma…kind of. Apparently, Yusuke's had demon blood dormant inside of him for some time.

Actually, the reason I was ignoring Koenma so hard was because I was fighting the urge to run over to him and wipe my hands off on his cape.

I listened to Yusuke instead. "Funny story! Apparently, way back one of my ancestors was this Mazoku guy. So when I died, I was able to come back, but like him."

Kuwabara recoiled. Way to make Yusuke feel better. "So you are a demon!"

Sensui was still standing there. This apparently made just as much sense to him as it did to the demons.

"I had no idea you were one of us, Yusuke," Hiei remarked, his expression almost coy. "How's it feel to be so superior?"

Yusuke basically said he felt normal. "I mean, I haven't sprouted horns or extra eyes yet. But I do have this sudden burning desire to tear this guy to pieces." And that last shot was aimed at Sensui.

Hiei and Kurama both stood up, wanting to take Sensui on as well. Yusuke started trying to talk them down a bit. I did snicker a little over the "prom date dispute" comparison Yusuke used. "I hate to say it, Kuwabara, but you're the only one still acting sane."

Kuwabara shouted something about kicking Sensui, and Hiei retorted, "You do realize he'll be kicking back."

Shout fest between Kuwabara and Hiei again. Good grief. At least Hiei wasn't shouting. In fact, Kuwabara started throwing punches at Hiei, and Hiei was dodging and making Kuwabara fall on his face!

I glanced over at Machiko again. She'd put away her horns, taken hold of her torn shirt and was using the front of it to wipe off her face and forehead.

"Machiko? You need a shower in the worst way."

That drew Hiei's attention. "Well. Looks like someone wasn't afraid of getting dirty."

"Mmph…" Machiko shot a look over at me, and I suddenly straightened up, and a quick glance at my arm told me stripes were spreading over me. I knew what was up, though this rarely happened: Machiko was getting ready to say something through me. I barely had time to speak on my own behalf. "Hiei, what I say next is going to be Machiko's words."

His eyes tracked over to me and stayed there.

Then I opened my mouth and my voice was completely different. "Well, if someone hadn't thought it would be funny to insinuate that I was weak, I wouldn't have needed to get dirty!" Not under my power, I wrenched my head around to glare at Sensui and…put my palms squarely on my hips. Inside, I winced. Oh great, now I'm going to have handprints on my hips; thanks a lot, Machy!

"Wow," Yusuke laughed briefly. "Sounds like Sensui just ticked off the girls." Then he turned to face Sensui. "Guys, I can sense how strong you've all become – yes, even you two girls – and I appreciate the help you're offering, but I need to do this alone. You dig?"

Kuwabara and Kurama both nodded. Machiko was still fighting with her shirt, trying to get her hairline clean, but I felt assent and said, "Machiko and I will stay out of it. We're probably not A-class yet anyway."

Hiei pointed at our revived friend. "Knock him dead, Yusuke Urameshi. But if you fail, know I've got your back."

"Wow."

I smirked. That one word from Machiko had so much overlain on it… "So that's how the chips had fallen, is it? You're in love with the three-eyed short stuff?"

"Don't make fun of him. …Yes."

"When are you going to tell him?"

Before she could answer, Yusuke and Sensui shot into the air and started duking it out!

Machy dropped her shirt and stared upwards.

Light was flashing everywhere, and even the ground down here started coming apart!

I almost couldn't keep track of what was happening! Yusuke fired off the biggest Spirit Gun blast ever, and somehow Sensui only got barely clipped by it!

Yusuke glared at his pointer finger. "My aim is off…I guess."

"He must learn to adjust to his new powers," Kurama observed.

"Yes," Hiei agreed, "hardly a marksmanlike performance. But don't forget, if we've learned one thing fighting with Yusuke, it's that he adapts quickly to new circumstances to squeeze out a win."

The power was turned up over there and my natural instinct kicked in.

I fell to all fours and faded out.

Well…mostly faded out. My filthy hands and feet, and those handprints on my hips, were still visible.

Sensui's armor had changed, but Yusuke wasn't fazed at all! I stayed low and stayed mostly invisible…just…watching.

Yusuke told Pu to take the lot to a safe distance. Koenma mounted up and the bird grabbed Kuwabara in a talon; Hiei was hanging onto the other talon, and Kurama took flight on his leaf-glider thing. Machiko and I both spread our wings and flew, and I didn't bother dropping my invisibility to do that.

That was right before Yusuke got a serious energy punch to the face!

Then a serious energy wave with loads of light came at us! I could barely hear the exchange between Koenma and Kuwabara!

"Which one of them did that?"

"I think both!"

At some point during the light show, Hiei and Kuwbara had gotten up onto Pu's back with Koenma. Machiko and I were going to stay airborne, and I'd sent a good reason: "Feathers are finicky things, and we've got dirty hands and feet!"

I failed to follow some of the fight. Other demons had gotten involved, and were quickly trashed.

Come to think of it…the terrain was quickly changing form thanks to this fight!

Then the two fighters started moving off to a new location! We followed on our respective wings. I glanced back at Kurama and shimmered back into view. "Hey, Kurama, you doing okay back there? I know that's technically a glider, not wings. Need any help?"

He looked up at me. "If you don't think it'll be too much trouble. I am managing on my own."

"No trouble at all." I sideslipped in front of him and extended my tail towards him.

A shiver rippled through me as his slightly-clawed fingers gripped my tailtip, but I focused a little on a trick I'd learned some time ago.

See, my fur's actually pretty silky-smooth; not the easiest thing to hold onto. I was amazed Kurama had managed the first time I'd dragged him somewhere by it. But if I focused hard enough on turning my coloration to look like something specific, like, say…part of a tree, the texture of my skin would change to the tree bark in question.

And that's what I did: I made the last foot of my tail become like a tree branch in coloration and texture, giving Kurama something easier to grip.

I knew when he noticed, because he spoke. "Now that's an interesting ability."

I felt my face flush a bit. "Thanks." Then I returned my attention to flying.

And…so much for the rock spire we were approaching! The combatants broke it apart with sheer energy before we even got there!

Then a sand tornado formed around the fighters!

The wind technically blew me into Kurama. At least he'd figured out what was coming and let go of my tail to let me crash into him without spinal interference. I felt his hands slide across the backs of my wings, down in front of my wings, and under my arms, gripping his wrists in front of me. Shivers went through me where my fur was brushed. "Here; hopefully this will stabilize our gliding."

His breath tickling my ear was very distracting. A spare thought crossed my mind, and I tried to keep it to myself. I seem to end up in your arms a lot; do you like me or something, Kurama?

Apparently thanks to the sheer amount of directing I'd had in that thought, Kurama had heard something; his arms tightened just a little around me.

Koenma suggested we pull back a bit, because we might get fried if we stayed too close. I was game for that – I carefully waved my wings in a slow beat. Down…closed…up…open… I followed that pattern about three times and then stopped.

Kurama made a worried statement about Sensui's demeanor.

I glanced at my striped sister. "You doing okay? I know you're not used to a sustained hover…"

"I'm fine."

Suddenly, Yusuke's power kicked up about three or so notches and he actually screamed! Light shone everywhere, and I sensed Kurama hide his face in my hair so as not to be blinded.

Finally we could see him again.

Yusuke…you could use a haircut! Is that to your knees? And man, is it big!

Kuwabara asked what was up with the hair, and Kurama replied, "I'm not sure what caused this, but it appears that Yusuke's body finally accepted the transformation the Mazoku desires."

I tuned out what everyone was saying about Sensui, largely because I didn't care. Kurama let go of me, I fell a couple feet and managed to flap back up level with them.

Then Yusuke leaped into action! His energy was playing havoc with the wind currents up here, and I ended up spending every moment fighting to remain in one place, when I wasn't watching the fight!

"Unreal!" Kuwabara sounded amazed.

"Why can't guys have these powers at the start of cases?" Koenma sounded resigned.

"This Mazoku must have been a very brutal warrior," Kurama observed. "As a mere human, Sensui doesn't stand a chance of beating him."

"Brutal" is putting it mildly.

"Let's hope so," Koenma answered.

The dust cleared, Yusuke threw Sensui into the air and aimed for a Spirit Gun shot.

I shuddered, and I was well aware both Machiko and I had our third eyelids closed so that we wouldn't have to blink.

The shot was fired, and then apparently Yusuke managed to fight back out of the control of his demon side, because he yelled at Sensui, "Get out of the way, dumbass!"

Well…the shot hit Sensui, all right. Then Yusuke started following the crater.

We started following after him by air. I wanted to know what was going on, just as much as the guys on the bird.

Finally we caught up and landed. Yusuke was demanding that Sensui wake up.

Well…he did sort of wake up. Yusuke wanted to save this guy!

I decided to only give them part of my attention and started looking for something to wipe my hands off on that wasn't something a person was wearing. The nearest thing was Kurama's discarded leaf-glider, so I went with that.

Then Itsuki appeared before us!

"Please," he asked while stepping through his hole properly, "just let Shinobu go."

I didn't quite manage to catch what Yusuke said. Itsuki's response, though, was "Don't torture yourself, Shinobu had only half a month left to live anyway."

After we all reacted in shock, Itsuki explained. "Shinobu is suffering from a rare internal disease. A doctor confirmed it, and not only he could cure it. An ordinary person would have lost the fight a long time ago…but not Shinobu."

"Is this your idea of a joke?" Yusuke asked.

Sensui revived, somewhat. "He's telling the truth…but I'm not making any excuses for my loss. Your last attack, Yusuke…with it, you proved that you were much stronger than I."

Yusuke fell to his knees. "But that wasn't even my power! I had no control over my body! You and I aren't finished yet, I need to know who's really stronger!"

I ignored them. Whatever Shinobu said next was for Yusuke alone to understand.

Setting my tail firmly on the ground to take my weight, I lifted a foot and started trying to wipe it clean. My biggest problem was, the stuff had dried some time back, and so was being deucedly stubborn.

"Only Yusuke would want to fight someone after he's dead," Hiei said, blinking sleepily. "Wake me when it's over." Then he started tipping forwards.

Pu moved, grabbed the back of Hiei's shirt in his beak, and lifted him off the ground. Then he put Hiei onto his own back.

Hiei sleeping on the back of a giant bird; where's a camera when you really need one? Machiko would definitely want a copy!

Then Koenma told us that he'd used some of his pacifier's power to bring Gamemaster back to life!

I walked over to him. "Koenma, that was probably the only thing about this mission I'd regretted: the fact that a child had to die." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

He giggled a bit, blushing. "Uh…you're welcome?"

Machiko rolled her eyes. "You should feel honored."

I focused on her for a second. I figured I knew what she was going to say, but she didn't have all the facts. I wasn't going to stop her, I wasn't even going to take over her script. I was just going to change one word.

"You're the second boy Kami's ever – wait…" she swiveled and stared at me. "Second? If Junior over there's the second guy you've ever kissed, who was the first?"

I glanced at Kurama as he cocked his head, raising a hand to his face. I see he got it.

"Me." He sounded…if I was reading his slightly-different voice correctly, he was surprised.

"Getting back to the subject," Yusuke dragged us back to reality. I tuned them out again.

When Shinobu stopped talking, I glanced back at the group. Everything was still except for the lightning and wind.

Itsuki took Shinobu's body to some other dimension. I still haven't figured out how to react to that.

"Uh…question, Urameshi," Kuwabara raised his hand a little.

"What is it?" Yusuke sounded slightly sullen.

"I was just wondering if you feel kinda weird."

"Well, now that you mention it," Yusuke reached around to scratch his back. "Something on my back's really starting to itch quite a bit."

Machiko and I both started snickering.

It just got funnier when Yusuke started truly looking at himself. We both burst out laughing.

Koenma explained to him about how that was a physical rep of Yusuke's ancestor.

I tuned them out one more time, fighting to get the crud off. Why'd I wait so long to even attempt this? I glanced up at Machiko. She doesn't seem to care one way or another, but I need to be clean if I'm going to use my camouflage effectively!

Yusuke was determined to go find his ancestor. Kuwabara had a great way of calling it. "Come on, Urameshi! We closed the case and saved the world, can't we at least take a nap?"

Machiko started scratching her scalp. "Yeah…and I need a shower in the worst way."

"Wow, sis," I cocked an eyebrow at her, "and I was just starting to think you didn't care."

"It itches."

Koenma informed Yusuke about how there were goons sealing the tunnel behind us, and we had to leave for Human World now or be stuck here forever.

Yusuke made up his mind quickly. "Load up, Pu. Let's go home."

I glanced at Machy. "You want to fly?"

She shuddered a little. "Not really: I used up a lot of energy earlier. Not as much as Hiei, there, I won't be falling asleep for a week or however long he'll be out…but I can't fly all the way back." Then she glanced at me and grinned. "You want to try that little trick?"

I grinned back. "Sure, why not?" And I walked over so that we were standing about three feet apart.

Our tails touched, twirled once about each other, then looped up and twirled again to make a loose knot. Then we both ran for Pu. "Hold still, Pu!"

We leaped, and sailed on either side of Pu's neck. Machiko grabbed Hiei up, hugged him in her arms, and folded her wings about him while she was still airborne.

We landed on the bird's back, our tails stopping against Pu's wishbone. I glanced at Machiko. The energy I'd sensed from her upon her coming to a full stop was…odd.

She fell asleep as soon as she stopped moving! I hope she manages to keep hold of Hiei.

"Hey, Koenma? Machy's got Hiei, so she weighs more than me. Can you make sure I remain a counterbalance to her?"

"Hm? Of…course!" When he got up, he wrapped his arms around me and tried to make sure he was secure.

As we flew, I made small talk with Koenma. "Mom's probably going to freak at what happened to us."

"…Actually, I'm not so sure she will."

"Hm?" I looked over my shoulder at him, or tried to, anyway.

"When Machiko told me those little bits of information those two times, something didn't seem to add up. So when I had some spare time, I did some research, running a background check on your parents, as it were."

"And?"

"Before I answer that, whenever your sister mentioned your father telling you two anything…was that an official memory?"

"Actually…no. Mother always said that Father taught us what to do with our powers and shape-shifting abilities, and that it had happened before our official first memories. Mother was the one who said Father had escaped from Black Black Club, not Father himself. He was gone by then. Why?"

"Well…I'm not sure which piece of information will be more shocking to you: the part where your mother had actually killed your father, or the part where your mother's a demon as well."

I flinched. That was my only physical reaction, since I had no color combination for shock. "What?"

"It's a good thing your colors make you so easy to read, because I can tell I haven't offended or upset you. Your mother's a B-class apparition who got stuck in Living World. Your father was technically a D-class."

"So we're full-demons, not half-demons like we'd thought."

"Correct."

"…Sensui told us we were in the middle of D-class."

"He'd have been trying to yank your tails, getting you to dash across the barrier after him. You're actually more in C-class, Machiko somewhat higher than you."

"Now that, Sensui did tell us." I cocked my head. "Did you…speak to Mother?"

"Briefly, on the phone. I had to mention who I was and that I knew what her daughters looked like before she spoke to me as an apparition. I'd asked her about her husband."

"And? What'd she say?"

"Ah…the word 'Neanderthal' comes to mind, along with a few more words that would sound more appropriate coming out of Yusuke's mouth."

When we arrived on the other side, Koenma let go of me and Pu grabbed the knot of our tails with his beak, lifting us off his neck.

Of course, that resulted in us swinging towards each other and bonking heads. That woke Machiko up. She gave the still-unconscious Hiei to Kuwabara and we balanced on our hands to untie our tails. Then we leaped into the lake to try to get cleaned up.

Kuwabara carried Hiei on his back out of the cave.

"Yay! They're all alive!" Boton called excitedly as we came into the light. And somehow Keiko recognized Yusuke under all that hair. She ran over and leaped into his arms.

"You…you look good!"

And that's her response?

"Yeah, well, I thought I'd try a change."

The others ran over and started talking about what had happened. Yanagisawa's remark was probably the funniest: "Man, I would kill to have my hair grow that fast."

"Is this a press conference?" Yusuke ended up saying, "Give me a break! Like I know how this happened!" Suddenly, his energy changed a tad. "Hold those thoughts, guys, I gotta take care of something."

The guys who'd been sent to seal the tunnel were ready to fight us!

I liked what Yusuke ended up declaring at them. "Look, I don't start fights with the defenseless, but you guys are really starting to piss me off, and that's an entirely different thing! And since you're all new here, I'll give you a tip: threatening the guy who helped save us will definitely piss me off! Koenma did what he had to in order to save us, and if getting rid of you is the only way to protect him, then I swear I'll kill you all, one by one!"

Watching the moustached doofus recoil in fear was actually kind of amusing.

At least the guy had a brain. "Much as I'd love to accept the challenge, sealing the tunnel takes precedence. Let me personally assure you, this isn't over!" Then he and his pals went back into the cave.

After they left, Yusuke turned to Koenma. "Sorry, was that a little much?"

At least…I think he was talking to Koenma. Keiko was on that side, too.

Koenma answered, anyway. "Not at all, Yusuke. Took the words right from my mouth!"

Then we set off to do…I don't know what. Machiko definitely needed a shower to clean off her hair, the cave's lake had been of limited assistance in that quarter.

Speaking of hair, Kurama helped Yusuke lose his extra. I'd asked Yusuke if I could keep it, and his basic response was "Don't know why you'd want it, but I sure as hell don't care."

We all sort of parted ways after that. Machiko and I still stayed in touch with Yusuke, Kuwabara, Keiko and Shizuru, as we didn't really want to lose any friends we'd earned.

Things did get a little interesting after that, though…

A/N: the last few episodes of Season 3 take credit.