AN: Im sorry pleeeeease stop throwing shoes at me! *ducks* Help me darling readers my characters are rebelling!
Iruka: DIE! *raises kunai*
me: *whimpers* Tell my readers I loved them! *runs*
General Drunken POV:
"An' then Ino popped out o' the fence an' tried ta' eat m' hair she tore out a chunk ri' 'ere!" Saskue slurred pointing to his head "
Sasuke crawled closer to Naruto "Loo' Squishy! Look wha' she did to my pretty head!"
Naruto patted his head "S'ok your still real' cute!"
"No I don't!" Sasuke wailed
Iruka started banging his head against the table. Kakashi stopped him again before putting his hands over his ears when Sasuke started to whine.
"Bu' Squishy! Ya' don't think I'm pretty! I wanna be pretty for you! Now I can't my hair has been fuglified! Fuglified I say!"
"I jus' said yer cute! Wha' more do ya wan' teme!" Naruto yelled with a rising blush
"You think im cute! HE THINKS IM CUTE!"
GLLOMP
Sasuke was rubbing his head against Naruto's hair "Awwwwwww who's my cute squishy?" he squeezed the boy tighter against his chest.
"…Help me?..." Naruto muttered half smothered
Kakashi laughed while Iruka tried to reason with the drunken emo. "Oi! Your smothering him he can't be 'your squishy' if he's been squished to death! Put the squishy down or I'll never let you play with squirrels again!"
LE GASP (now with french accent)
"True. Sorry Squishy!" Sasuke finally let go of a now blue fishcake. Naruto huddled gasping next to Sasuke's knee.
"…You stopped for the squirrels didn't you teme?" he grumbled
" …Well-"
"Anyhow I have you all beat!" Iruka interrupted loudly drawing everyone's attention "One word. Guy."
"Poor 'Ruka! Its gonna be alright!" Kakashi exclaimed holding onto Iruka "Don' worry we'll protect you from him, right guys?"
The horrified circle nodded as solemnly as they could after a few bottles of sake.
A cup was shoved into Iruka's hand by Sasuke "Don' worry sensei, ya protected us from the fangirls, we'll protect you from the green beast…. I wonder how he got that name anyway?"
They stared at each other "Doesn't bear thinking about does it?"
"No. No it doesn't. Just pass the sake."
Bottles later found the company cheering to Naruto's performance of "Man I Feel Like a Woman"
"Lets play a game I'm booooared!" Naruto whined leaning against Sasuke's shoulder
"Alright lets play Never Have I Ever! One person says something they've never done, if you did it take a shot." Kakashi grinned his grey eye flashing at some point someone had drawn a orange heart around it.
"I'll go first."
…
…
"Whats taking so long?" Iruka asked poking the other in the shoulder
"Dunno I've done a lot. Wait I got it! Never have I ever gotten chased by the Hokage for stealing his hat."
Iruka and Naruto drink
"Sensei?" Sasuke whispered shocked.
"Mmmkkkk me next!" Naruto bounced "Never have I ever streaked through the village."
Everyone else drank
Iruka-sensei streaking? *twtich*
"Sasuke? Sensei?" Naruto whimpered
"…Yeah?" They both looked at him blankly
"Never mind."
"Drink up Naruto." Iruka hummed
"What but I didn't!"
"Lets just say this I never gave you another bath after chasing you around for two hours. I just sprayed you with the hose after that."
"So that's why you always sprayed me off your porch! I wondered….but I still don't remember!"
"Don't worry I have pictures." Iruka said grinning evily
Wicked sexy smile must. Not. Glomp. Good Kakashi.
"My turn" Sasuke slapped his hand down on the table "Never have I ever…. Kissed my sensei."
There was silence. Iruka studied the table avidly. Kakashi found the ceiling riveting to behold.
Then they both took shots.
Then they both stared.
"You kissed Namikaze Minato the Yellow Flash?" Iruka girl-screamed then stopped just thinking of the former Hokage.
DROOL
"Sensei snap out of it!" Sasuke nudged him with his toe.
"….Sweet mother of ramen. You. You. Kakashi you kissed MY DAD?" Naruto screamed then whimpered into Sasuke's shoulder.
Kakashi scratched the back of his head awkwardly "Mah. I was just saying thank you for saving us, so I kissed his cheek. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time… I was like 11…."
Three pairs of eyes stared at him
"Hehe. Well oi! I didn't do the most shocking thing in the room. Iruka you were taught by Morino Ibiki. What. The. Crap… you kissed THAT?"
"….."
"….."
"Kakashi I think you just killed you students."
"No they're fine just in some kind of horrible shock. Care to explain?"
….AWKWARD SILENCE….
…JEPRODY MUSIC…..
…KAKASHI SINGING TO SAID JEPRODY MUSIC…
Du du duuuu du duu du duuuuuuuu du du –
"Stoppit! I was bored ok?... he's actually not a bad kisser." Iruka stammered
"No. Just no. I can't afford the therapy, though I suggest you get some. Soon. Just gimme a refill."
"Says Mr. Spinny clouds."
"Don' make me bring Genma in here."
"….Mean. Oh 'ey looks like the munchikins are up."
"Oi did I just have the weirdest dream!" Naruto said eyes wide
"The one where Gaara takes some Ramen and –"
"Ohgodnotthatone!" He shrieked.
"Oh. What could be weirder than that?"
"You know that scary dude from the chunnin exams?"
"…yeah….?"
"I just dreamed Iruka said he kissed that dude. The horror!"
"Yeah, but Squishy he di-"
"Didn't I know! But it still freaked me out."
"Yeah, but Dobe he really said –"
"I know he said that in the dream, but that would never happen!"
Sasuke opened his mouth to set his squishy right about this but he saw his sensei and former sensei shake their heads rapidly.
"Your right, good thing it was just a dream. Lets get back to the game."
"My turn I suppose? Alright … Never have I ever…gotten trapped by Anko in her kink dungeon."
Kakashi and Naruto drank
"TEME!" he crawled into Sasuke's lap and started singing some kind of song about bunnies
Kakashi sniffled "Mommy!"
Iruka wrapped an arm around him "There there, I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories."
"Sasuke go think of something, take your turn."
"Um I never have I ever danced the carmeldansen."
Naruto stopped snuffeling and grabbed his cup taking a shot from where he stayed in Sasuke's lap.
Kakashi took a shot too looking sheepish
Iruka looked stoic as he took his shot.
"Iruka you-" Kakashi whispered in his ear
"No but I didn't want the kid to feel embarrassed. You did the same thing right?"
"uh…..yes! yes I did."
"Ah I see. Liar! Please excuse me?" he resumed thumping his head against the table
THUMP THUM -
"Will you just quit that!"
"NEVER!"
An: you sooooo want to know the story behind the name the Green Beast don't 'cha, don't 'cha? Yes I'm looking at you!
...Silkyotter honey I wrote rest of the story for you. I'm glad you like it even if I can't reply proper. You'd help me run away from the characters right? Right! o.0