"My grandfather used to say that almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Then my Grammy would answer, "yes, Poppa, everybody knows, almost doesn't count." It's true. Think about it. When is almost good enough?" ~Bella, Almost Doesn't Count

This is a companion fic to Almost Doesn't Count, not sure if it will be able to stand alone or not. It's all Edward, all the time. YUMMY! This will be a series of outtakes of sorts, letting us in to the wonderful world of Edward. His past, his thoughts, his conversations we didn't get to listen in on w/BPOV, etc. All will be revealed. It may be sad at times because of Esme. Hold me. ~ Mrs. R.

~*X*~

Dear God,

Thank you.

I can't quite put my finger on what it is about Bella that puts me at ease, but no doubt, there is something there. Her mere companionship is comforting to me and during this trial in my life, she's exactly what I need. I know that your plan for my life is better than my plan, and nothing in life is a coincidence, so my sincerest thanks. First you bless me with Ethan and now, Bella.

"I'm drinking from my saucer because my cup has overflowed."

Always

~E.C.

~*X*~

Bella was selfless. I have never met anyone like her. Just like right now, I hear her in there playing with Ethan. I'm supposed to be taking a nap, and even though my eyelids are heavy, I can't sleep knowing she's in the next room. My blood is zinging through my veins and hearing her and Ethan's laughter, fills my soul with mirth beyond measure.

She'd given me a strange look earlier when I explained why I had Ethan call me "Bub". I was being honest when I said I didn't think I deserved to be called Dad or Daddy. Maybe it was that I was still too unsure, I mean Ethan wasn't mine yet exactly and then again, maybe it was that I didn't really feel like his father. I thought about it often and it felt as though I was just his caretaker. I'm hoping the title of 'Dad' comes with time and experience. I wanted to be a father, more importantly Ethan's father, more than anything.

When she told me we had a date for the temporary custody hearing, I just wanted to hug her. Wrap her up and squeeze the breath out of her. But I didn't want to overstep my bounds or scare her off thinking I was creepy or anything. So I held back. For now.

I put my journal away in the bottom drawer of my bedside table and laid back on the bed. I finally had a feeling that everything in my personal life was headed in the right direction, well everything except my mother's health, and I wasn't giving up on miracles yet.

I drifted off to sleep listening to Ethan's laughter and Bella's singing as she rattled dishes in the kitchen. "Five little ducks that I once knew, red ones..."

~*X*~

My cell phone buzzed at ten thirty nine. I sat straight up in the bed and looked around while my brain began to remember what had transpired before I dozed off.

Bella.

Bella was watching Ethan. So what were they doing?

I quietly opened my bedroom door and looked up and down the hall.

Silence.

I tip-toed until I reached Ethan's room. I peeked through the door and what I saw, it was beautiful. Ethan and Bella were in his bed fast asleep. The book she had been reading was open in her lap and her face was turned toward Ethan's head.

Sometimes, when Ethan had trouble sleeping, I'd lie with him until he fell back into his deep slumber, then I'd just gaze at him in awe. My heart was filled with so much love and adoration that I thought there could possibly be nothing more poetic - nothing more angelic than just watching him sleep. But I was wrong; seeing Bella with her hair draped across the pillow, framing her shoulder and her face. Her cute little nose nestled in Ethan's hair and her palm resting on his chest. I just stood in the doorway of the room, speechless, because if ever I was permitted a glimpse into Heaven, it was now.

They both looked so peaceful, I decided against waking them just yet. Instead, I ventured into the kitchen to scrounge for something to eat and tackle whatever mess Bella had left for me.

Surprisingly, there was nothing for me to clean up but instead a small note written in Bella's messy script, pointing me to the leftover tuna salad in the refrigerator. Damn, she never ceased to amaze me.

After I finished my late dinner, I quickly called Emmett and asked if he could come and take Bella home. I hated even thinking about that sly, sneaky ass alone with her in a car, but she had to be safer with him than riding in the God-awful public transportation in this city. I'd just keep my fingers crossed that he kept things platonic. Maybe the seriousness of the adoption would keep him from being his typical self.

He needed to find his own damn women!

I went back into Ethan's room and gently sat down on the edge of the small bed. I took a deep breath as I thought about this whole situation. I was unsure what to do next. I mean, I know Jasper asked me to keep my distance from Bella, and I felt like I was doing a decent job, but watching her sleep, it took my feelings to a whole other level. And how she was just as enthusiastic about this adoption as I was, and tonight how she offered to watch Eth for me, it stirred something deep inside. Something that made me want to try and build our friendship into more. But I couldn't help but wonder, what did she want?

Since joining PIH, dealing with my mother's sickness, and now the looming task of raising Ethan on my own, it seemed like I grew up overnight. Just add water and poof! Instant maturity. Now, I think about my life and my circumstances differently and I knew that getting to know Bella was one of those things I wanted to do the right way.

But could I?

Could I control my boyish desire to have my way with her long enough to gain her trust, her friendship? I mean random hook ups, I could kick ass at those. But relationships? Being my lover and my friend? That concept was foreign to me. My track record was pretty bleak when it came to women, but now, maybe there was only one that mattered. So – yeah, I think I can do this, with her consent of course.

I wanted to be her confidant, her friend, her protector first and then - her lover, her mate, her paramour. Her by my side. This premature feeling I had about her - about us, it couldn't be wrong. I already needed her and Ethan needed her too.

I felt Eth shift in the bed and looked down at my watch. I sighed as I thought about having to wake her up. I was complacent with her here in my sight – under my roof – safe and sound.

I stood and went to stand beside her. I let my fingertips ghost over her brow, tracing the contours of her face, her cheek. I brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and let it slowly twist and fall out of my fingers. It was as soft as the finest silk.

She took a deep breath just as I pulled my hand away. I bit on my knuckle as I stood there staring at her. I could kick the shit out of myself for not acting on my feelings all those years ago in high school.

I bent over and gently shook her, "Bella, Bella, wake up."

She stretched as she crawled out of the bed. I found myself backing away from her, she was innocent as she slept, but now awake and alluring as ever, I felt threatened. She could own me with just one stealth move. Or one word. Or even one touch, I would be hers.

She asked what time it was. I answered and told her Emmett was on his way to take her home. She huffed, "Edward, you didn't have to call Emmett, I can get myself home."

I wanted to stomp my feet and tell her to just let me do this, let me take care of her! "There is no way in Hell you are riding public transportation at this hour Bella!" Instead I came off as a bully.

"Edward, you're being silly. What do you think I did before you came along?" She pouted and literally stuck out her bottom lip. I hastily shoved my hands in my pockets. The urge to take her in my arms and devour that pouty lip was pretty damn strong. She was clueless, the dominance she had over me.

"Bella, not my problem. Now, I got you covered, okay? No more S.P.T. at midnight ever again. Got it?" I prayed that was the end of the battle, I refused to give in and compromise her safety. I quickly exhaled and walked away. I just might fall to my knees and beg her to stay otherwise.

Emmett called and informed me he was at the curb waiting. Under my breath I growled for him to behave right before I hung up. "Bella, Emmett's at the curb, he's waiting on you."

"Alright then. Have a safe trip tomorrow and thanks for trusting me enough to watch Ethan. I loved it." She smiled and my heart raced. My frustration with Emmett melted away and her softening words calmed me.

"No, thank you. You're such a God-send, Bella. I owe you one." Then I tested myself, I curled one arm around her shoulders and gently squeezed. I held my breath and closed my eyes. Her softness and warmth against me was brief, but it was divine. Yeah, there was no doubt about it, I wanted more- No! I HAD to have more!

She was unable to hug me back with her arms full of her belongings, but that worked to my advantage. That may have been too much for me to bare.

"You don't owe me anything Edward, that's what friends are for."

Friends. For now.

She was leaving. I forced myself to stay inside the doorway. I couldn't follow her down, I couldn't walk her to the curb. I had to let her go. For now.

"Good night. I'll talk to you next week."

"Good night, Bella." I watched her enter the elevator and then I stepped back inside and closed the door. I practically ran into Ethan's room and grabbed his baby monitor and headed for the roof.

I spied on Emmett as he opened her door, then he shook his head as he circled around the front of the Hummer. I swore I saw Bella's petite frame from inside the front windshield leaning forward looking up at me. I brought the back of my hand up to rest against my lips. I wanted to call out to her. I longed to confess the desires of my heart. But it was too soon, the days of Romeo and Juliet were long ago and love at first sight a mere myth.

I knew better.

Emmett slammed his door and I quickly turned to go back downstairs. This was nothing short of mild torture. I needed to reign in my feelings, put a cap on it for a while and let the pot simmer.

All in good time. All. In. Good. Time.

~*X*~

Love is not finding someone to live with. It's finding someone you can't live without.

~ Rafael Ortiz

No excuses for the wait. None besides me + writing = FAIL.

I love y'all. Thanks for reading. ~Stacy