Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 30

The War Comes to Remus

Remus rested his head against the glass and watched as platform 9 ¾ grew smaller and smaller as the Hogwarts Express pulled away. This was the first time he did not look forward to going back to school. He stared at the city as it rushed by, wanting to block out the noise and joking of the other three that shared the compartment with him. He saw his reflection in the window and saw instead Tiffany's face as she had told him goodbye.

He raked his hand through his hair and let out a long sigh, feeling again the familiar discomfort growing in his groin. Fuck, he thought, looking around and picking up Peter's backpack.

"Hey, Wormtail, put this away before I kill myself on it."

"Wormtail?"

"Yeah, ever see it? You may think you look like a rat, but that tail you drag around looks like a bleached flobberworm," Remus said. "Did you ever manage to look like a real rat?"

"Yeah, it's better now. What's wrong with you?" Peter asked. "Someone blow smoke up your arse?"

"Shut up." Remus tossed him the backpack and flopped back in the seat.

"Thought you were meeting us at school," James said, looking over his shoulder as he crammed his own backpack into the overhead compartment.

"I had something to do in the city," Remus said uncomfortably and turned back to look out the window.

"You still seeing that girl from the restaurant?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, guess so."

"You feel her up yet?" James grinned.

"Shut up, Potter." Remus turned to him slowly, levelling him with a glare. "No one wants to listen to your bullshite."

"What'd I say?" James laughed.

"Leave it alone," Sirius said evenly. "I'm not listening to you two harp at each other all the way up to Hogwarts."

"Anyone seen Lily?" James said, waggling his eyebrows. "That's the one I want to feel."

"You and Snape both," Peter chortled.

"She would never let him near her," James said incredulously.

"Hey, Remus, why is he up to see Pomfrey with you each year? I mean, yeah, we know why you have to go, but why Snape?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the others blankly. "I don't know. She puts us at different ends of the ward and it's not like I'm going out of my way to talk to him."

Sirius sat opposite Remus, leaned back and stared at him. "Haven't seen you for a while. We were supposed to meet up at the film festival."

"I was busy," Remus shrugged and looked out the widow.

"Busy." He folded his arms and kept staring at him. "Busy with Tiffany?"

"Yeah," Remus snapped. "Listen, Black, I don't want to listen to you…"

"Whoa… I didn't say nothing about her. Remember me? The one that went down for her Mum's birthday with you? Didn't I?"

"Sorry, I just… I don't want to hear it from them," he said quietly, nodding toward James and Peter who were still arguing over Lily sitting in the same compartment as Snape.

"Did you tell her about Hogwarts?"

"Right," Remus snorted.

"Some do."

"Maybe later. I've been thinking that maybe next year. She wants to move down to Southampton next year, but maybe if I tell her she will stay."

"She's already sixteen. Did you tell her how old …"

"I'll be fifteen."

"And she'll be seventeen."

"It doesn't matter, it's only a year."

"She'd be in sixth year if she went to Hogwarts."

"Well she doesn't, now does she?" Remus shot back.

"Hey," James called their attention. "I got a letter saying I can try out for the team again this year. McGonagall says if I keep my grades up that is."

"Right," Remus laughed. "You may have to find the library on your own if you plan on doing that."

"So what classes you taking?" Peter flopped down and yanked the sack of sweets from James' hands.

"Merlin, save some for us." Sirius leaned forward and grabbed the bag. "Want some, Remus?"

"Nah, not hungry."

Remus leaned his head back and gazed out the window then shut his eyes and eventually fell asleep as the other three continued their petty bickering and joking. This term would be different, Remus knew, longer, and lonelier than the last had been. He missed her already. Missed their summer walks and quiet lunches. Missed the cinemas where he would sit, content to drape his arm over her shoulder, not caring if he had seen the same movie a dozen times already. He missed their stolen kisses behind the hedges, and the way she would smile at him and run to be home on the stroke of ten with her face flushed and swollen lips.

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He found fourth year harder than the first three. The professors expected more of them. Slughorn heaped on essay after essay, McGonagall not wanting just to see the spell but to have them learn to draw the wand movements and know the theory behind the work. Remus found it challenging and at the same time he found it frustrating to have so little time to himself.

Other than watching James at the games, and going into town on Hogsmeade days, he felt trapped in the castle and anxious to get out. Even his wolf form longed to run. It paced through the Shrieking Shack during the full moons, finding its way through the basement room and up to the floors above, howling in frustration. Madam Pomfrey twice increased the strength of the potions, sending owls to Dr. Gramm for the right amounts and keeping track of the changes that she observed.

She had no doubt that he had reached the end of his journey. His change was now that of a complete adult wolf. She had flipped back to the notes she had jotted down at her first meeting with Rhea, when she had learned of Marcus leaving home at fifteen, and had not understood how such a youth could have fared in the world. However, looking at Remus, his stature, his bearing, seeing the added length of bone and ripple of muscle, she knew he had started on his accelerated aging process as well.

As the wolf had attained its complete adult form, so did Remus. He had extra strength that would only grow when he was no longer confined to the shack, but able to run free with the moon. He was taller than his classmates, and if not for his uniform and the way he carried himself, slouching his shoulders and looking at the ground, he could pass for a much older wizard.

Knowing they would now have to start teaching him how he would be truly treated in the world beyond Hogwarts, she was saddened to find she knew no one capable. Talking to the Headmaster, they had agreed to give him the rest of this year to come to terms with the new feelings that would wash over him, pushing the wolf to influence his daily life, but now, seeing how quickly he could anger, she thought to revisit that decision and would have to start talking to him. Dreading the time he would have to be registered with the Ministry, she continued to fight for a way to hide him after Hogwarts, and thought that perhaps Anthony was right to have him find his place in the non-magical world.

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Remus woke late. The room was already empty by the time he'd turned over onto his back and stretched, groaning at the soreness that still lingered in his shoulders. Although the last full moon was a week ago, he could still feel the after effects in his joints. Bloody hell, he thought, perhaps Madam Pomfrey is correct, and a small padded room would work better.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and glanced at the clock on his nightstand. Shite. Only minutes left if he planned to grab something for breakfast. He heard his stomach protest the thought of a missed meal and jumped up to dress, forgoing his shower in his hurry.

He ran down the stairs and into the Great Hall surprised to hear absolute quiet as he strode to the Gryffindor table and climbed over the bench. Pulling the Daily Prophet from Peter, he began to read what had everyone else beyond words.

"Mr. Lupin." He heard the Headmaster call his name and looked up to see Professor McGonagall hurrying toward him.

"Lupin," Sirius said standing, and leaning over the table, "It may not be her. It doesn't give the whole name."

"What?" Remus looked down at the paper again in confusion and saw Muggle Families Murdered splayed across the front page.

"Mr. Lupin, your parents have been contacted. They will be in the Headmaster's office shortly," Minerva whispered kindly.

"Remus?" James looked up from his paper. "Maybe it is a mistake."

"It's not her," Remus yanked his arm from Minerva. "Even if her last name is listed … it doesn't say they both died. It doesn't …" he fought to read the article as the Headmaster took the paper from his hands.

"Remus," he said kindly. "Come, we will discuss it."

"No," Remus growled as he stepped away from them, feeling the same prickly feeling under his skin that he felt just before the full moon came. He rotated his head, trying to get the stiffness out of his neck and heard the familiar grinding of bone on bone. "I need to leave. I need to go to London."

He turned, ran for the door and yanked it open, hearing footfalls chasing after him. Pulling his wand, he turned and levelled it at the Headmaster, his hand trembling. "Don't make me, sir… don't make me."

"I would not dream of it," Dumbledore frowned, and threw up his arm to hold Minerva back. "Mr. Lupin, you need to consider your next course of action carefully for they may determine the rest of your life."

"It's not her I tell you," he hissed, stepping backwards into the hall. "It's not her. What reason would anyone have to hurt them?"

"Remus?" Rhea said from the hallway where she had just arrived with John. "I am so sorry. We came as soon as we heard."

Remus pushed by her and began to run toward the gate, ignoring his mother who continued to call to him. They were wrong. He knew they were wrong. He would find her. Find her walking to school, or down working at the café. He made to spin into his Apparation and fell to the ground, looking around, unable to see the path for the tears that filled his eyes.

"Remus, wait," John ran to him and pulled him up from the ground. "You can't apparate, not like this. Not when you are…"

"I have to go. They are wrong. I know they are." He put both hands on John's chest and pushed as hard as he could, sending him onto the hard packed earthen path.

"Remus," John said, scrambling to his feet, surprised and for the first time in his life, truly afraid of his stepson. "Think about what you are doing. Stop and think."

Remus felt the wolf rise up and rest just under his skin and the anger that he brought with him. Turning on John, he curled his lip, and lowered his head as he stepped toward him. "Never, never put your hands on me again," he snarled.

He smelled Rhea, and turned to bare his teeth at her, his head snapping up and his eyes turning to copper slits as he did so. "Remus," she sucked her breath in when she saw him step toward John, his eyes darting between the two, obviously confused and lost.

Sirius and Peter came thundering out of the castle and at a full run headed towards Remus, ignoring Dumbledore's order to stop. Sirius threw himself between Remus and his stepfather as Peter ran for Rhea.

"Come on Remus," Black said lightly. "I'll go with you. We can grab a broom."

Remus swallowed and looked at him, before turning back to Rhea, a low rumble coming from his throat.

"Remus, please," Peter put his arms out wide, blocking Rheas path to him. "Go with Sirius. Maybe you're right. Go find out for sure."

"Yeah," Sirius tried to laugh, casting a quick look at Dumbledore who stood with his hand raised, ready to release his magic. "Come on, if we leave now we can get back by curfew."

"Yeah," Peter added, "quick before someone else comes out an mucks it all up."

Remus slumped, and rested his hands on his knees as the breath rushed out of his lungs. "Dad?"

"It's okay son." John pushed Sirius aside and pulled the boy into his arms. "I'll take you myself. I know you need to do this and her Mum might like to see you."

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to… I couldn't stop … "

"I know, but you did. You did stop. That's all that matters." John pulled Remus' head to his shoulder and looked up to see Rhea standing behind him, putting her hand out then pulling it back before she touched him.

"Remus," she said sternly. "You know better. If you get down there and can't control yourself then what?"

"I can do it now," he said, running his sleeve under his nose. "I almost… Mum, I … I don't know what happened. I couldn't stop it."

"No one was hurt," Dumbledore said sternly. "However, if this happens again I shall have to ask you to leave, Remus. No matter the cause, you must strive for control."

"Yes, sir," Remus muttered. "Dad? Now? Please?"

John nodded and with his arm around Remus' shoulder pulled him into a side-a-long that deposited them into Diagon. From there, after giving Remus only moments to recover, he again clutched him tightly and spun to the alley behind the café. Walking the final distance, they found themselves outside of Tiffany's house, which appeared untouched.

Remus bolted for the front door and pounded on it, desperate for Tiffany to answer. As the door opened, he saw a stranger looked at him oddly.

"Are you here for Tiffany?"

"Yes," he choked, looking over the stranger's shoulder. "I …. In the paper…. I…"

"You must be Remus, she spoke of you often." The stranger looked beyond Remus and saw John slowly approach. "Do come in."

"We just heard and wanted to pay our respects," John said softly. "We read in the paper that the services were yesterday. I am sorry we did not find out early enough to attend."

"I am sorry, I am Sarah, Sarah McCann, Tiffany was my niece," she held out her hand to John who accepted it clasping it in both of his.

"You have our sympathy."

"Remus?" Tiffany's mother said, walking into the room.

"Mrs. McCann," he sobbed and hurried to the woman, putting his arms around her and hugging her.

"My dear boy," she sighed. "She did nothing but talk about you. I tried to call you, but your name wasn't in the book and I didn't know where you lived."

"I'm sorry," Remus choked back tears.

He and his father sat with Mrs. McCann, listening to her sobs and the retelling of her story as neighbours and friends filed through the house, bringing dishes of food and popping into the living room to cry and offer their condolences. John watched Remus carefully when she told him how the sky had tuned dark, smoky and black, just as her body was discovered, seemingly untouched. Heart, the doctors had said. She had not known Tiffany had been ill, or had a bad heart, her mother said, but her body had seemed completely untouched.

As they left, Remus had shoved his hands in his pockets and refused John's attempts to talk. Looking ahead and walking quickly back to the alley to return, he wished to be alone and quiet. When they arrived at the farm instead of Hogwarts Remus glared at John and demanded a reason.

"You have to calm down before you go back," John said evenly. "You have to learn better control. You are too strong now to let your temper go, as a wolf or a man. Remus, you don't realize what has happened to you."

"It was Riddle, wasn't it?"

"Yes, there doesn't seem much doubt. The mark appeared the night of…"

"Why? Why Tiffany?"

"We don't have to go into …"

"Why? I asked you a question."

"Remus, you have to understand this is no one's fault."

"Because …of me?"

"No, no don't think that," John ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I should have known. It is my fault for not seeing a pattern. There have been several attacks, each on a Muggle that knew of our world."

"She didn't! I never said a word!"

"I know, but … when we Apparate, there is a way of tracing it. When it is underage magic, it leaves a log. It has become obvious that someone in the Ministry is watching for more than random travel. Several Apparations to the same area and ... Remus, I am sorry."

"They tracked my…they followed me?"

"Not you, Remus, the magical trace. There have been several Muggles attacked. By the time we realized how they had been targeted it was too late."

"You could have done something, you could have warned her!" he spat.

"We … we tried. I don't expect you to believe me right now, but we tried. We put wards around her house, her school, where she worked. They must have been following her, and knew the time she left work and the way she walked home."

Remus caught a movement from the corner of his eye, and looked towards the house where Rhea stood pulling her wrap tightly around her shoulders. He frowned at her and headed back down the path. "Tell her I went back to Hogwarts."

"You should…"

"No," he ground out angrily. "I won't be hidden away. I won't learn to calm down and I won't learn how to blend into the Muggle world."

"What do you plan on doing boy? Running away?"

Remus turned and sneered at John, effectively stopping him from approaching. "I plan to fight. I plan to stay here, in this world and fight. You can tell her to shove that damned University up her arse, cause this is where I belong, this is where I am needed, and this is where I am going to stay."