What did he just say?
Beatrice's butterfly-shaped eyes fluttered a few times, her mouth falling open, not even the slightest sound leaving it.
Utterly bewildered, she could only gape blankly at the outstretched hand of the raven-haired enigma, her thoughts crawling at a snail's pace.
'Mother... I can see... Mother...?' She thought to herself, trapped in a daze.
Letting her grasp on her scrunched-up knees loosen, Beatrice's small hands sank to the musty and dusty floor. Lifting her gaze, she peered into the smiling man's sharp, brown eyes.
She took in the sight of them, her jaw slacking further, her body freezing in place.
His eyes, dyed in such a typically lusterless colour, shone brilliantly, gleaming with sincerity. And upon meeting hers, those nasty, hazel orbs softened with unbelievable tenderness and care.
Beatrice's eyes widened, awed by the earnestness she saw reflected in his gentle gaze.
Was... he being serious?
...
No... There was no way...!
Beatrice curled her tiny fists, her sweet face twisting into a scowl, contorting in irritation.
No! He couldn't be telling the truth!
She wouldn't believe such... such lies, such blatant falsehoods! Especially from the deceitful mouth of the man who prevented her from fulfilling her most sacred vow!
Narrowing her eyes, Beatrice shot a furious glare at the insolent fool, almost as if trying to liquefy him into a pile of bloody mush. Yet, despite her less-than-pleased reaction, he continued grinning lightheartedly.
"Are you mocking me, I suppose!?" She shouted, audibly fuming with barely contained rage. Upon hearing the great spirit's vocal indignation, the nasty-eyed knight snorted, amusement plainly written on his face.
"Ghah, Mock Beako!?" The impertinent individual drew his head back, placing a hand overtop his chest, feigning offence, and jokingly proclaiming, "I could never do such a thing, especially to the cutest spirit in all of existence!"
Beatrice's artificial blood simmered and boiled in outrage at his mocking jests, her muscles tensing as she prepared to wipe away his filthy existence from her library. The fancily-dressed man continued smiling, undeterred by her furious glower.
"Now, Beako, I'll ask a second time," He smirked confidently, slightly tilting his to the side, "Would you like to see your mother... no... Echidna again?" Toward the end, his voice gained a modicum of seriousness and a hint of... disgust?
Beatrice let out a loud gasp, her face donning a shocked expression.
That name...
The damp and decrepit library seemed to spin around her, reality tossing and turning as Beatrice struggled to comprehend the words that had left his lips.
...How did he know that name?
Muscles loosening, her arms slumped to her sides. An odd wetness welled in her pale blue eyes, streaming down and staining her soft, porcelain cheeks. Beatrice let out a few deep, sporadic sighs, unable to contain her anxiety.
She raised a hand to the smooth flesh of her face, her fingers coming into contact with thin streams of hot water. Prodding at the puffy corners of her eyes, Beatrice couldn't help but wonder:
'W-What's happening to Betty?"
And how did he know her mother's name?!
Suddenly, as if unprompted, the man bent down, lowering himself to his knees. Kneeling before her, the troublesome individual leaned closer, gradually bringing a hand to her rapidly damping face. Beatrice recoiled at his approach, backing up against the large bookshelf to her rear.
"D-don't lie to me, I suppose!" She cried, denying him with all her being! He halted, an unreadable expression on his features, "Betty's mother is gone! Gone! You... you... you liar!"
Her words giving way to tearful sobs, Beatrice desired nothing more than for her meaningless existence to cease.
How long had Beatrice lived, hoping to fulfill her promise to her mother, made all those centuries ago, only to fall flat on her face at the final hurdle? How long had she lived, only to have her sole purpose ripped away? Was there even a point to it all?
Time didn't seem to have meaning anymore. Months felt like seconds. Days turned to years. And Beatrice hardly noticed; there was no point in thinking about how much time had passed, especially when she had nothing to wait for...
Numb... She felt... numb...
Her hourglass had shattered, leaving nothing behind. She didn't bother optimistically thinking that the empty void left behind could be filled.
After failing miserably to uphold that sacred vow, Beatrice didn't deserve to hope for a better future. She didn't have the right to dream of a bright tomorrow. To believe that things would improve.
So... how dare he...!
How dare he... fill her with such... such burning hope!
How dare this impudent man let her think, for a fleeting moment, that she'd have a chance to make things right!
Her teary cries echoed throughout the desolate and lonely space, Beatrice's grief pouring out as scalding tears rushed down her dainty cheeks.
Without warning, the blond-haired spirit felt a finger brush against one of her lower eyelids, rubbing away the accumulating tears with one delicate stroke before doing the same to the other.
Dragged from her sorrow-filled thoughts by the sudden contact, Beactrice's glistening gaze regained its focus. A sense of reassurance bubbled in her artificial heart, easing her shaken mind.
What was this unshakable feeling?
"You shouldn't cry... With such an adorable face, you shouldn't have to cry..." A rough yet oddly gentle voice called out, gagged and trembling with inconceivable emotion, "Beatrice, I don't like, no, I hate seeing you like this—so sad and alone... trapped in this dark and lonely place. Please... let me help you. I want to see you happy, wearing a big, bright smile."
Lost in her stupor, Beatrice examined the man kneeling before her, his puffy, nasty eyes shaking, lower lip quivering ever so slightly, narrow lines of hot tears streaming down his features. Not giving her a moment to think, he resumed:
"If you let me, I can help. I can help ease the burdens of your suffering," Unrelenting, the foolish knight's lips coiled into a small smile, "Let me help you, Beatrice. Let me make it right."
He rose to his feet, wiping away with his sleeve the remaining tears staining his face. Extending Beatrice a hand for a second time, the man gave a toothy upward frown, grinning ear to ear.
"How can I trust you!? It's your fault things are like this, I suppose!" She responded emotionally, rejecting him again, "You're the one who prevented Betty from fulfilling her contract to Mother! Why should I believe you!?"
Beatrice glimpsed at the man above her, his outwardly-happy expression unwavering.
"I don't expect you to trust me... What I did was wrong, and frankly, you have every right not to because of it," He admitted, voice faltering for a moment before regaining its strength and conviction, "But, I'm not lying when I say I want to see you smiling and filled with joy!"
"That doesn't tell me anything, I suppose!" She shouted, tears dropping to the uncleaned, delipidated floor.
"You don't have to believe me, but let me ask you this, Beatrice; what do you have to lose?" He put forth the question, staring at her with imploring eyes. Beatrice went silent, "Exactly. Nothing. You'll lose nothing. But I swear, if you take my hand, I can bring you to her. I can give you some closure! I can brighten your day!"
Beatrice's eyes widened. She tearfully stared at his outstretched hand. For a fleeting second, the great spirit sat frozen like a statue, contemplating the contents of his determined words. Her vision growing muddied with each passing second, she quickly glanced up at his face, peeking at the man as he flashed his pearly whites down at her.
"Take my hand, Beatrice!"
Was it that simple?
No. Even if the offer was truthful, there had to be a catch... nobody could be that generous. Nobody.
"And if I take your hand, what do you gain, I supposed!? What do you want!?" She lashed out, questioning his intent, "Knowledge, power, wealth!? Don't lie and say you want to see Betty smil-"
"You're right. I don't just want to see you smile..."
Beatrice let out a defeated sigh. Of course, she should've known he would try and use her.
The man's grin did not falter in the slightest.
"In exchange for helping you, I only ask you to tell me where I can find my tracksuit, Beako."
Her jaw dropped to the floor, her hands shooting up to cover her gaping mouth.
His... tracksuit? That was it? Beatrice couldn't deny those words laced with honesty.
Slowly, she lifted an open hand off the ground, raising it to meet his own.
'You better not be lying to me-'
The two appendages made contact, filling the space between them. Hesitating for a fleeting moment, Beatrice wrapped her child-sized hand around his substantially larger one. She squeezed it, tightening her hold. The hazel-eyed mystery returned the favour with a squeeze of his own, securing his grip.
'-Natsuki Subaru.'
"It's in here?" Subaru inspected a battered-looking, slim, black box neatly tucked away in one of the shelves on the right side of the room. Honestly, it did seem like the first place he'd think of hiding it-in a spot out of sight. Still... why stash it away?
"Yes, I suppose," The blond-haired loli standing beside him responded, her voice marked by curtness. She subconsciously fidgeted with her fingers, impatiently awaiting him to fulfill his promise, "You hid it here, in fact."
Beaming, Subaru flashed a thumbs up, placing his hand on and ruffling Beatrice's golden locks.
"What are you doing, I suppose!" Beatrice's face went beet-red, and she squealed from under his touch. Tensing her shoulders and stretching her arms to her sides, she shook her balled-up fists, " Ugh, Hurry up already! Betty is tired of waiting!"
"Okay, okay, Beako," Subaru raised his arms defensively, jerking his head back, "I'll hurry up."
Pulling the coal-coloured parcel from the shelf, Subaru removed the cap, revealing the box's innard contents: a black and white jacket with orange accents and stripes, and a pair of similarly coloured sneakers and pants, all tidily folded together.
"Hmmm... Been through a lot, haven't we?" He quietly remarked, nostalgically poring over the clothes. It had been months since he had last donned them. Carefully treading his fingers across the smooth fabric, an unidentifiable, somewhat uncomfortable feeling invaded his chest, causing him to wince.
Subaru reminisced about the day he first received his signature outfit. His face relaxing into a faint smile, Subaru recalled the looks on his parents' faces when he excitedly hoisted his birthday gift up into the air. They were so... happy.
He missed them. So much. So very, very much. Were they okay? Did they hate him? He shook his head, dispelling the thoughts.
Turning his gaze to Beatrice, Subaru pulled his clothes from the box.
"Hey, Beako, can you leave so I can get dressed," Subaru unfolded the tracksuit, slipping out of his fancy polished shoes, "Only for a moment, of course. If my Beako is away from me for too long, the effects on my health could be disastrous." His face wound into a silly expression.
Puffing her cheeks and turning her head away, Beatrice pouted adorably before stepping out of sight. Immediately, a handful of tears slid down from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry... Beako..." He whispered under his breath. Inhaling, he regained his lost composure, hastily sliding out of his dress pants and into his old pair.
Bending over, Subaru stepped into his sneakers, tying up and fastening the orange lace.
Moving onto his torso, he unbuttoned his vest and dress shirt, slithering out of them and letting both fall to the floor.
Shifting his head down, Subaru examined his sleeveless arms, creasing his brow in disbelief. He scanned them, looking up and down; not a single mark...
Smooth, and excluding the places where the... ulgrams left their mark, unscarred skin from shoulder to wrist... Subaru's knees wobbled from beneath him, his arms shuddering uncontrollably. He breathed heavily, drops of anxiety slowly dripping into his brain.
'I shouldn't... Beatrice is waiting for me...'
Subaru's mind returned to his second first day in the manor... how unsafe he felt when he awoke, not knowing how he had died the previous night... the feeling of his head being caved in later that same week...
His face took on a pained expression, the recollections rushing to his head at full speed...
'You're slothful, Subaru…' Subaru's body froze, breaking apart as he laughed at his foolish, incompetent self, knowing that all his friends died because of him.
'Love me — ?!' The blade pierced his neck, unleashing a torrent of blood, all while the woman he loved most watched in horror, unable to save his life.
'I will never die!' The words that came from his lips that day weren't his own but belonged to a crazed, love-obsessed madman. Should he have tried to fight back? Was it right to force Julius and Felix to be the ones to kill him?
Guilt gnawed at him, only to be swept aside by...
Subaru's cedar eyes went wide with terror, lids convulsing involuntarily...
'Munch, Nom, Crunch! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'
Tiny, white-haired rabbits overran, swarmed, overwhelmed him...!
'Munch, Nom, Crunch! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!'
Tearing away pieces and chunks of him, reducing Subaru to nothing but a pile of horrifying, writhing, barely humanoid-looking flesh...!
'Munch, Nom, CRUNCH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!'
His unbridled screams and shrieks filled the cold air, unheard by others... Subaru's pain only ended when...
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'
The rabbits tore their way through his skull to his brain...!
Even now, Subaru could've sworn he felt the Great Rabbit crawling across his skin.
His hand wandered nearer to his right arm, increasingly vibrating as the distance between them closed. A shiver travelled up Subaru's spine as his cold nails met the warm, tender flesh under his wrist.
Breathing hitching, Subaru sunk his nails into his arm, applying enough pressure to break the skin, drawing blood. He winced as the area flared up in pain, his lips developing into a grimace.
Dragging his nails up and down, Subaru dug into his arms, scratching until trickles of blood streamed from the wounds.
It hurt... It hurt... It hurt...
'Proof! Proof!' The Hero of Prisetella feverishly chanted internally, 'I'm alive! I'm alive! I haven't died! I'm alright! They're alive! Nobody died!'
'The rabbits can't get to me.'
Truth be told...
'The rabbits can't get to me!'
He didn't like the pain... he didn't enjoy being hurt...
'The rabbits can't get to me!'
...But nothing else could ever hope to drive away the memories...
Nothing...
Nobody...
Out of nowhere, Subaru hastily withdrew his hand, separating his bloodied nails from the abused flesh of his wrist. With glazed-over eyes, he scrutinized his work.
Subaru looked upon his lower wrist, littered with scratches with thin lines of blood from them and traversing down his arm's length. He resisted the urge to vomit. Shame swelled in his chest.
'Disgusting, gross, pathetic... you're making me sick... what a failure... you're too weak, you're not good enough. You let everyone die...'
Images of his fallen comrades and loved ones flashed before his eyes...
His arms went limp, falling to his sides. Taking a few deep breaths, Subaru returned to dressing, a grim expression written on his features.
And the whim to resume his self-abuse reappeared in Subaru's still-dazed conscious...
'No... I shouldn't.' he decided, shaking his head from side to side.
He couldn't... not when...
Now was not the time... Beako took priority over everything else.
He grabbed the black t-shirt in the box, tugging it over his head, yanking it down so it clung to his figure, and inserting his arms into the short sleeves.
Hurriedly donned his jacket, he zipped up the zipper to secure it to his body.
Peeking down at the discarded clothes on the floor, he swept them into his arms. Bunching the garments up, Subaru put them away inside the box, which he returned to its previous hiding place.
"Better than before..." The recently wounded knight muttered, admiring the familiar, comfy way his tracksuit hugged his frame.
It had been forever. First, the Watchtower, and then Vollachia; he hadn't worn his beloved tracksuit in so long.
"Okay, Beako!" Subaru called out, forcing an awkward-looking smile, walking back into the center of the smelly library, "Time to find Emilia-tan and get moving!"
"Hmph, Took you long enough, I suppose," Beatrice stood a few feet from him, crossing her arms, pouting indignantly, "You should apologize for your tardiness to Betty, in fact!"
"Of course, of course," Subaru straightened his back and bowed respectfully, "I beg for your forgiveness and mercy, oh cute and wise Beako!"
The spirit in question gave a smug smirk, haughtily lifting her chin.
"Fine, Betty will forgive you... just remember your promise..." Her voice trailed off towards the end, gaining a degree of somberness.
Subaru grimaced. He needed some way to fix this! To relieve her of her worries.
...
Oh! Wait!
Unexpectedly, a bolt of inspiration struck him, bestowing Subaru with the solution to his predicament.
Swiftly and with the element of surprise, Subaru rushed forwards, scooping Beatrice up and hoisting her into the air. Before she could protest, he spun her around, dizzying and disorientating the spirit.
Coming to her senses, Beatrice cutely flailed her arms and legs wildly in protest.
"Put me down, I suppose!" She squealed, trying to wiggle out of Subaru's grasp, "Don't treat Betty like a child!"
Subaru merely chuckled at how cute the loli librarian got when mad.
"Awww, but spinning Beako is so fun!" Beatrice squinted her eyes, leering at him, clearly signalling him to stop. Taking the hint, Subaru set her down on the floor, albeit reluctantly, a slight frown tugging at the corner of his lips, "Beatrice—"
The spirit narrowed her eyes at his use of her full name and with such seriousness no less...
"—I know I'm literally the worst at keeping my promises. I've been called out on it enough to understand that much... but this is one vow I don't plan on breaking, okay? I would never do that to you, especially to you."
Kneeling, Subaru gave an eye-to-eye grin. Briefly, Beatrice stood in shock before giving a quick nod, a smile creeping onto her features.
'That's more like it! You shouldn't look so sad all the time...'
Rising to his feet, taking a deep breath, Subaru steeled himself for what came next and shouted at the top of his lungs:
"Emilia-tan! Emilia-tan! We found the tracksuit!" He hollered, attempting to summon her, "Emilia-tan! Me and Bea—?"
Originating at the far end of the library, a cacophony of loud rustling and rapid pitter-patter footsteps filled the damp air. The clamour gained strength as the undeniably gorgeous perpetrator drew nearer. Subaru swallowed, bracing himself for...
"Subaru~!"
The most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on pouncing him.
Subaru fell to the uncleaned floor on his rump, grunting painfully as the half-elven beauty wrapped her arms tightly around him, squeezing the air from his lungs.
"Agh, Emiia-Tan is... Ah... too strong... Can't breathe... Hk!" Subaru desperately tried to pry his way out of the love of his life's embrace, gasping for much-needed oxygen, yet her grip seemed to only tighten.
"Subaru~! I didn't... I didn't find the t-tracksuit! P-Please don't get mad at me!" Emilia said, her silvery voice shaking with emotion, apparently not hearing Subaru's desperate plea for air, "Don't leave me! I'm sorry!"
Subaru wheezed and gasped, the edge of his vision growing dark and fuzzy. And just as he felt his consciousness slipping away, a small hand pulled on the glum half-elf's shoulder, attempting to coax her off him.
"Stop doing that, I suppose!" Beatrice scolded sternly, "You're suffocating him, in fact!"
"Eh?" Emilia looked back at Beatrice, her amethyst jewels widening with confusion. Perplexed, Emilia brought her gaze back to Subaru, moving her mouth as if to say something, stopping once she laid eyes on him; the Slayer of Sloth's face had gone bright red from oxygen deprivation. Seeing this, Emilia swiftly released her knight from her tight hug, retreating from him, grasping at her arms, "Subaru! Are you alright!? I'm so~ sorry!"
Subaru emitted a gasp, inhaling all the air he could get, filling up his depleted lungs. He let out a relieved sigh... thawing the air with his breath. For a few fleeting seconds, the raven-haired hero gazed unblinkingly at the misty puff created by his breathing, unperturbed.
Suddenly, his body stiffened, his gaze darting toward his number one.
Tears welled in Emilia's violet pools, and the air around them turned frigid, sending a nerve-racking chill up Subaru's spine.
Taking notice of the rapidly dropping temperature, Subaru hastily scrambled over to Emilia's shivering form, clutching her shoulders.
"Emilia... there's no need to get upset... it's not your fault that you failed to find it. It wasn't there anyway," He whispered into her pointed half-elven ear, creating a soft tickling sensation there and causing blood to rush to Emilia's pale cheeks, "So don't beat yourself up... I'm not mad at you, and I sure as hell won't ever leave you. I know you tried your hardest to find it for me. And I appreciate the effort."
Emilia's sorrow-stricken face broke into a wide smile that took Subaru's breath away. She may not have been his Emilia, but she possessed the same imperceivable beauty. Yet... when their eyes met, Subaru couldn't help but be reminded of...
He brushed the thought aside... It wasn't anything like back then!
"Thank you, Subaru..." She chimed, sounding like a pair of silver bells. Leaving his hold, Emilia got up from the ground.
The silver-haired half-elf uncrumpled her fancy white clothes, placing a finger on her chin as if contemplating something.
"Since I did a good job, can Subaru touch my hair?" Emilia asked, slanting her head to give her knight better access to pet her.
Subaru rubbed the nape of his neck sheepishly, the idea of giving Emilia a head pat seeming absurdly silly.
"Emilia..." Subaru protested, his tone exasperated, causing Emilia to glare at him intently.
"Subaru promised to pat my head! And a promise is a promise!" She held firm, not ceding an inch of ground.
"Emilia..." Subaru whined, finding the situation deeply embarrassing.
His lady whipped her head to the side, inflating her cheeks into a stubborn pout, giving no room for discussion. Subaru sighed.
'I guess I wouldn't mind...'
Subaru lifted carried a hand to Emilia's shoulder-length silver locks, setting it down on the crown of her head. He languidly caressed her soft, smooth, velvety hair, enjoying the feel of it between his shifting fingers. Closing her eyes, Emilia immersed herself in the sensation of Subaru's stroking fingertips, humming in her typical tone-deaf voice.
"Emilia-tan is too pretty..." Subaru mumbled.
Finally, after a minute of continuous caressing, Subaru removed his hand from Emilia's head, much to her visible chagrin, her features curdling into a pout.
" Ugh, Subaru is such a blockhead."
"Emilia-tan, you know nobody uses the word 'blockhead' anymore, right?" Subaru teased.
" Hmmph, people use it all the time. Subaru is just rea~lly weird!"
"I kind of doubt that, Emilia-tan. Also, by the way, how do I look now that I have my old clothes back? Dash? Handsome? Amazing?" Subaru questioned, pointing to his change of attire. In response, Emilia circled around him, thoroughly examining her knight. Once done, she stroked her chin, seemingly pondering the matter.
" Hmmm... I like Subaru's other clothes better. They're so~ much more dignified!" Emilia declared, a slight blush reaching her cheeks.
" Eh? Who says 'Dignified' anymore? Wait..." Subaru paused before resuming, "Emilia-tan doesn't like my tracksuit? And after me and Beako went through all that effort to find them? How might my heart survive such shame!?" He lamented theatrically.
Emilia giggled, amused by his antics, before coming to a silent halt...
"'Beako?'" She shifted her gaze to Beatrice, narrowing her eyes, her lips forming a grim line. Subaru could feel an icy chill caress his back.
"Beatrice is coming with us, right, Beako?" Subaru threw the spirit a quick glance.
"That's right, I suppose," Beatrice answered, "This irritating man promised Betty something important, in fact."
Emilia gritted her teeth at Beatrice's latter statement, clearly put off. She seemed to stiffen.
"Emilia, will you let Beako come with us?" Subaru asked, staring at her with soft, concerned eyes.
Emilia shook her head, carefully breathing in and out.
"No... if Subaru wants Beatrice to come, I'll let Beatrice come..." Emilia said with a downcast expression, "But only if Subaru promises to come to see me later! I get rea~lly anxious when Subaru isn't around..."
"Sure thing!" Subaru flashed a radiant smile, walking to the large wooden door. He positioned a hand on the diamond-encrusted door knob, turning it gently, easing the wide entrance open.
Crisp, golden rays of light greeted his sharp eyes, a steep contrast to the darker, more oppressive atmosphere of the knock-off Forbidden Library.
" Huh... " Subaru murmured.
"What is it, Subaru?" Emilia furrowed her brow quizically, her purple gemstones gleaming with worry.
"It feels like it's been forever since I have been in this hall..." Subaru cast his gaze down at the sparkling clean floors of the corridor.
"Grrr... How long are you going to make Betty wait!?" Beatrice complained from his side, face fuming with irritation, "Hurry up and stop being so slow, in fact!"
A thought creeping into his head, Subaru smirked.
"Beako... you're right, you know..." And with great speed, the Slayer of Greed captured Beatrice with one arm, carrying her at his side. Equally as fast, he seized Emilia's silky hand and dashed out of the room and into the hallway.
The Great Spirit of Yin wildly flailed her arms and legs in protest, screaming, "Put me down! Not again, I suppose!"
"Subaru! Slow down!" Emilia clamoured as Subaru raced forward, towing her along.
"Nope, you two!" Subaru kept sprinting, "This is the fastest way!"
Subaru peeked furtively at the disgruntled Beatrice, his lips slipping into an upward frown. The life had returned to her eyes, filling his heart with warmth beyond belief. It felt good to know his companion was doing better...
...But there was still one more task ahead of him...
'Just you wait... Echidna! I'm going to save Beako and get my happy ending!'
One where they could laugh, play, and dirty themselves in the mud...