"Well... we're here," she decided finally after a lot of running around the Tardis console. The Doctor looked slightly confused.

"But..."

"The noise?" she sighed impatiently.

"Well... yes. I love that noise... it's a great noise"

"Well sweetie you land her next time. Landing with the brakes on is bad practice... but you know that already," she replied unhooking her shoes from the screen rail.

The Doctor frowned, "I will"

River smiled at him, "You're an impossible man sometimes Doctor"

"And you're just impossibly impossible," he argued in his childish manner as he found his feet, "Now come on. Let's see what kind of mud hole you've landed her in," he jumped down from the console platform.

"Uh sweetie? ... Aren't you forgetting something?" She'd just finished putting on her second heel. River Song stood at the top of the steps looking very expectant of the still puzzled looking Doctor, "Oh come on now. Surely you had manners before I met you," she held a hand out impatiently.

"Oh... sorry," he muttered taking her hand and leading her carefully down the few steps.

"Feels good doesn't it Doctor? Actually being a gentleman sometimes..."

He smiled widely shaking his head, "I'm always as gentlemanly as I can possibly be," he assured her as hand in hand they made their way to the door of the Tardis.

"Oh! Doctor!" she exclaimed as he was extending his hand towards the latch on the door. He watched her, an air of amusement washed over his features as she hurriedly began removing her shoes, "I've forgotten my PDA. Hold these" With River's... fabulous shoes in his patiently awaiting hands she hopped back up onto the console platform and began to hunt for her trusty PDA.

"You probably won't need it," he called examining the astonishingly high heels. He compared it to his own shoe size and stared, his mouth open in utter confusion, "How do you...?"

"Sweetie... they wouldn't suit you," she cut in pulling them out of his grasp before he tried them out... again, "Time Lords and women's shoes... There are lots of things in this universe you aren't supposed to understand," then she added firmly, "So don't try"

Once she was back at her usual height the Doctor held his arm out politely. River took it with a smile; "Now you're sure this time?" he asked pausing before he opened the door.

"Very sure Doctor"

"Good because I'm not holding those again," he replied pointing to River's shoes, "I'm not sure the universe can handle that... twice"

"Oh Doctor..." River laughed loudly, "You have no idea"

"Let's see now..." they very nearly stepped out of the Tardis. River stopped at the edge while the Doctor ungracefully tried not to over balance. He grabbed the door frame, "I knew you'd park it in a muddy field. I had this hand washed by a goat herder in the 14th century last week. Respect the Tardis River... Respect it"

"Accidents do happen Doctor"

"I'm glad you think so... so I'm sorry in advance..." he gave her a huge shove out of the doorway. River landed with a huge muddy splash, she sat looking up at the Doctor. He grabbed his stomach as he laughed with such a force that he nearly fell out himself.

"I hate you sometimes!" she called wiping down the PDA screen.

"I know!" he laughed wiping the tears from his eyes. Before he realised what was happening she'd grabbed both of his braces and tugged him down into the mud with her. He sat with a hard thud next to her and stared at her as if he was about to sonic her into a black hole. River grabbed a handful of mud and thrust it into his face.

"There!" she cried, "How do you like that?" His eyes blinked at her through the layer of mud, all other features were completely hidden. The Doctor reached up with his hands and wiped the layer from his face; he looked down at his hands and then from them to River's smug expression.

"Aaaahhh!" he yelled suddenly. River jumped back startled as he dived at her, smearing the mud all over her perfectly made face. She fell backwards and he landed on top of her, his hands either side of her head.

"How'd you like that River Song!" he laughed. Her startled muddy expression made him burst into an unstoppable laughter. A mouthful of mud silenced him, his face screwed as he stuck out his muddy tongue in disgust. River pushed him off of her making her move as she desperately tried to wade through the mud to the Tardis' door. She fell straight on her face as the Doctor dived for her ankles. They struggled and fought and laughed for what could have been forever until they were both too exhausted to continue. They lay on their backs, head to head in the mud. The Doctor felt for the label of his jacket and tried to scrape the mud from it, "I hope this is machine washable..."

"Uh... Doctor..."

He looked up at the circle of guns surrounding them.

"Oh..." he turned his head towards River slightly, "I think we may be surrounded..." he whispered excitedly as he raised his hands up in surrender.