Summer: Inappropriate mission

He watched her skip through the gate with excitement. She had been thrilled about this for days now, and only because of their little announced trip to the material world. Byakuya had been send there to get something back, and Hisana would join him for her knowledge about the world.

When they stepped out of the Senkeimon, Hisana closed her eyes and sniffed deeply. "I haven't been here for ages…"

Byakuya nodded. "There is a reason for that, you know."

Hisana smirked. "Yeah, yeah, I died, blah blah blah. I know. And even though I love Soul Society, I've always been missing this world. The regularity of it, the simplicity, you know."

But Byakuya didn't know what she was talking about. "There is no regularity in Soul Society?"

Hisana grumbled. She put her hands to her hips and she started to speech. "On Earth, people cannot see hollows, cannot use Kidou and usually don't wear huge swords with them. People feel safer and are more concerned about themselves, and not their duties."

She smirked as Byakuya sighed and averted his gaze.

She took his hand and they walked to a large building, which was labelled 'University of Tokyo'. While they searched for the entrance, Byakuya remembered why he had to go there.

---

"One of our recruits has lost a memory chikan while being undercover for training," Ukitake announced. At once, one of the few people in the room turned red and mumbled something about being sorry.

Byakuya paid little attention to the guy. "I will get it back, captain."

Ukitake nodded. "I know you will. Take your wife with you, she'll be able to help you with this stuff. Also, it'll be good for her to be out, once."

"Yes, sir."

---

"Helloooooo," a woman's voice came from behind a large desk. She had small eyes behind large glasses and her nose looked miniscule next to it. She wore a filthy suit and Hisana assumed that this woman was the janitor.

"Hello," Hisana answered politely. "I am looking for classroom 14, could you please tell me where I can find it?"

The woman smiled. "Of course I can! It's the sports hall. Go left, into this corridor, and walk to those doors. Get through and you'll be seeing four doors; the two in front of you are dressing rooms, and the two on your side are the halls."

Hisana bowed slightly. "Thank you."

When the janitor was gone, Byakuya patted Hisana on the shoulder. "I never knew you really were familiar with this stuff."

"Of course I am," Hisana defended herself. "Even though my education wasn't all that proper, I did go to a school! Though this one is much more modern than the school I went to only.. like.. thirty years ago."

Byakuya nodded. "I believe you. Now, where to go?"

"The sports hall," Hisana said, taking the lead through the school. They walked the direction the janitor had sent them and soon enough, they found themselves standing in a hallway which stunk to sweat and dirty outfits.

"The halls are carrying the names of 13 and 14. We need 14, right?" Hisana asked. Byakuya nodded.

Hisana walked to the door and knocked. Inside, somebody whistled and the door flew open. Hisana had to jump aside not to get knocked over by it. Behind her back, she heard Byakuya snicker. He was sooooo going to get it…

"Yes? Can I help you?"

A woman stood in the doorway and she was holding a ball. Around her neck was the whistle and she wore athletic-clothing. Her face looked very inviting and warm and several freckles lay on her nose. Her red hair was curly and bouncy and she wore a blue cap.

"Hello, we are the new teachers. Internshippers, eh.. Well, actually, today we were going to follow some classes. I'm Hisana."

She could actually see Byakuya's face in surprise, even though he stood behind her. "No, we are-"

"I'm Azumi," the teacher introduced herself. "I think I've missed the message… but that doesn't matter! Did you bring any clothes? Otherwise you'll have to change into some of our school-stuff. It's in that closet behind you; take a fitting shirt and pants and come in!"

Then Azumi walked back into the hall and shouted something to the students.

Hisana turned to face Byakuya, and she smiled innocently. "I just created the perfect way of searching that memory replacer, didn't I?"

Byakuya blinked. "You… yes, you did. I thought you did it for the settling of scores. I should not have laughed when you were almost hit by that door."

"I would never do such thing as getting revenge. Not to you. You usually kiss me and then everything's okay." Hisana said. "However, I am curious about how you do at sports."

Byakuya groaned.

---

She tried to block out all of the murmurs she heard of the girls standing in the row against the wall. Some of them even dared to point at him. And chuckle. In combination.

"Hey," Hisana snapped, "don't you know it's rude to point and laugh at someone?"

The girl she was talking to giggled and gestured Hisana to come closer. "Do you know that guy?"

"Yes, I do know him very well," Hisana answered stiffly.

"Can you introduce me to him?" the girl asked with confidence.

Hisana pulled the ugliest of faces. "Not in a million years."

"Why not? It's not like you are into him, right?"

"Why would I not be?" Hisana asked surprised.

"Well," the girl said, twiddling with her fingers, "you are gay, aren't you?"

"WHAT?" Hisana shrieked, causing Byakuya to turn his head. She gestured him it was okay, but then went back to the girl. "I am not gay. He and I are involved."

"How?"

"How do you expect?"

"Well, I expected you to be gay, but I didn't expect you to deny it."

"I'm not denying anything! He and I are married!"

"'Married' my ass!" The girl laughed. "You're both like, what, twenty? Twenty-three? No way you're married."

Hisana cursed the blessing of staying young even though her husband was about a hundred and fifty years older than she was.

"Besides," the girl continued, "you can totally tell you are gay. Come on, the way you wear your hair, no man is ever going to like that. A girl might like it, but men are not attracted by it. And have you ever seen yourself walk?"

All pissed off now, Hisana turned on her heals and roared through the entire hall, "Kuchiki Byakuya, come here and kiss me now!"

Byakuya's confused head came from out of the equipment storage. "What are you doing? We are working."

The girl grinned devilish to Hisana. "Married, huh? Let's see if he can resist this." She opened one of the buttons of her shirt and disappeared into the storage.

Hisana was boiling with rage. She turned to the girls who were grouped together with the first girl, and yelled at them. "What are you drooling at? It's not like he's interested in you, anyway. And there's nothing he's going to see in her! He'll just kick her out! With her curly hair and her big blue eyes! I don't care she's got the body of a Goddess, she's NOT going to get him!"

She stomped her way over to the storage room, but saw nobody. "Byakuya-sama?" she squeaked.

"Yes?" came his voice from behind a Pegasus.

She walked to the way his voice came and saw him searching in a closet of clothing and lost-and-founds. He hadn't even noticed the girl behind him, sitting observing on a trampoline. Hisana found this the perfect time to teach the girl a lesson.

She closed the area between Byakuya and herself and wrapped her arms around him. "There's no one here… how about that kiss now?"

Byakuya tried to suppress a smile coming up and shook his head. "I am sorry I blew you off just now. But if that memory eraser comes into the wrong hands, things may get nasty."

"If it were to be in that cupboard," Hisana purred, her hands sneaking under his shirt to caress his chest, "it wouldn't walk away, will it?"

"True," Byakuya said, slowly caving in to her touch. When he felt her other hand on his neck, he completely surrendered and wrapped his arms around her. He leaned in and kissed her. Hisana, being the evil jealous wife right now, kissed him back while moving around for a bit, to give the girl full view of their making-out. From the corner of her eyes, she could see the girl grow red with fury. Somewhere in her body, Hisana felt a twinkle of satisfaction.

"When we get the chikan back to the head captain," Byakuya whispered into her lips, "I will give you a nice full body massage. How would you like that?"

"Oh, very much," Hisana answered, kissing him once more. "By the way… that better be the memory chikan in your pocket."

"Don't worry," Byakuya grinned. "It is."

Hisana smiled, but before they could kiss again, Azumi stood next to them, her arms in her side, anger all over her face. "You are just another couple of kids! Making out in the storage-room? And you call yourselves professional sports-instructors? I will be SURE to report this in your documents! Now get out, out!"

Not waiting for a second outburst, Byakuya and Hisana walked out of the gym as fast as they could. They hid into the dressing room and waited a couple of minutes, to be sure the woman wasn't following them.

"That was…"

"…weird."

Pulling the chikan out of his pocket, Byakuya said, "Mission accomplished."

The door was pushed open and the girl from before entered the room. "You two are sick." She turned to Byakuya. "How can you fall for a gay girl? How desperate does that make you? You didn't even notice me there!"

"I would love my wife even if she were gay," Byakuya replied simply.

Grinning from ear to ear, Hisana asked, "Love, let me see that chikan, hmm? How does this work? Do you push this button?"

Byakuya nodded. "In front of her face."

Approaching the girl slowly, Hisana observed her closely. She raised the chikan in front of her and said, in a very low voice, "Oh yes, I've always wanted to do this..."

---

"Kuchiki Hisana and Kuchiki Byakuya here to report the mission to return the memory-chikan, head captain."

"Did you return it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Was it used by the human?"

"No, sir."

"According to our research lab, it has been used recently."

"Sir. A girl was meddling and overheard us talking about soul society. It was us who used it."

"Very well. Report the event on paper."

"Sir."

---

"I swear!" the girl screamed. "After I tripped over the rackets, I totally saw Kutsashika Hokusai folding his socks! You HAVE to believe me!"

Azumi took the girl by her shoulders and pushed her forth. "You are to see the counsellor now."

"I promise you! Katsushika Hokusai!"

"You do realize that he is a very very famous painter who lived on the other side of our country and oh yeah, died two hundred years ago?"

"Please believe me! I can totally tell the details! He had weird round glasses and he had a scar on his forehead, but he totally had socks with his own artwork! Like every left sock had 'the wave' and every right sock 'carpe nello stagno'!"

"I think the counsellor might send you through. Do you want me to contact your parents?"

The girl sighed. She knew for sure it was him.

Besides, what else could it have been?

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