Disclaimer: Not mine
His Calling
Chapter 32
Hearing the Truth
The end of term came quickly, too quickly for Remus. He was not looking forward to spending a summer unlike the last. The first couple of days he did odd chores around the house and simple repairs to the fences and the barn doors. Rhea was concerned that he seemed sullen and disinterested in even trips to the bookshops, or visiting his friends.
Remus approached John about learning spells, defensive spells, such as throwing shields and simple repelling charms. At first, John was inclined to refuse, as he doubted a boy of fifteen could learn the discipline to hold a shield in place while throwing a curse at the same time. However, he had seen the determination he had shown in learning the Patronus and thought that maybe he would be able to accomplish a weak spell.
He relented, and he and Remus spent an hour every morning working together. Rhea would sometimes bring her tea to the step outside the front door and sit and watch as John threw one curse after another at Remus, knocking him down, and pushing him back as the boy tried again and again to shield himself.
"John," she called, standing up and joining them. "Let me show him."
He raised an eyebrow and grinned at her. "Now, Rhea… it has been a while since you…"
"Don't you dare," she said with a scowl, and pulled Remus in front of her. "You hold the wand, but it will be my magic. Do you understand? We will do it the same way we used to."
"It will work this way?" Remus tried to look over his shoulder at her.
"It's how I learned. Okay, John, keep it simple."
John threw a curse and Remus felt his mother's hand begin to trace the pattern as her free hand came to direct the shield where it needed to go. Twice more she cast and guided before nodding to John to stop.
"Even if you can't do wandless, once the magic is released from the wand, but before it has taken shape, you can direct it," Rhea explained.
"It's not proper duelling," John frowned. "I know many use it, but it's…"
"Oh, goodness!" Rhea rolled her eyes. "When we were your age, palming off a shield was considered bad form. Sort of … cheating, we used to call it street fighting. It can be dangerous, it you lose concentration, or if you do not move the shield enough, your own curse can be redirected right back at you. You learn how to do it so at least you know what the other guy is doing and know to throw a curse at his free hand, not his wand. Now, again."
Remus turned back to John and began again. As the week turned into a month John's curses came faster and stronger until Remus could shield off anything he threw. Then, he turned the tables and showed Remus how to bring down an opponent's shield, all the while explaining the proper stance and how to protect a partner's back.
It was not until Moody stopped by and caught them practicing together that he got a good look at what a duel could really be like. Although he had seen the one on the hill the day the Death Eaters had come to the farm, he had never thought of what it would be like to be in the midst of one.
Rhea pulled him down next to her and they watched the two Aurors in mock battle. Dawlish was faster, quicker to avoid a spell by a mere step to the side, anticipating when it would come and where it would land. Moody stood still, his feet planted apart and unmoving, easily deflecting spells he considered too weak for the need of a shield, sure and confident, not flinching or reacting with more than a frown.
Remus was fascinated at the two different approaches to the same battle and sat grinning with Rhea at his side. "Dad is faster but he can't get him."
"Come on," she grinned and jumped up. "Let's show them what we can do."
She pulled him to the field and with a laugh told him to take rear guard as she pulled her own wand and grinned at Moody. "Two points for a direct hit, one for a nick and three for a full shield. We play to 21."
"Nope," Moody said with a grin. "I've seen your shield girl. Full shield, one point."
"That's just going to take me longer is all," she laughed as she positioned her free hand, getting ready to throw.
"None of that either." Moody said quietly as he saw Remus look at her strangely.
She spun to see him standing with his eyes lowered to her boots, his brow wrinkled in thought. Calling him out of his memory, she told him to take the lead, and stepped behind him, then nodded to John to start.
.
.
.
"We got you good, go ahead admit it," Remus said with his mouth full as they ate lunch, laughing at Moody's excuses for losing the game.
"Learned a long time ago not to beat witches, not if you ever want them in…"
"Shut up, Alastor!" Rhea shot him a look. "Remember who you are talking to."
Moody levelled Remus with a look that wiped the smile off his face at once. "I think your little boy here has done grown up, Rhea. Think he needs to make a few decisions."
"Not yet," John said quickly. "He's still a…"
"Not too young, Dawlish. Others his age are already being told whose side to take. That Black boy for one."
"Sirius? You've seen him?" Remus asked.
"No, can't say that. Neither has his aunt, although she hears things."
"Moody?" Rhea asked.
"We got a call that he was missing, broke my heart it did to see him dragged back to that place, but until his birthday he's got no say in the matter."
"All boys think their Dads are out to get them at one time or another," John said as he reached over the table and ruffled Remus' hair. "What you say son?"
Remus locked his eyes with his father, remembering how close he had come to hurting him. "Yeah, I guess, but it's not like that with Sirius. He … he is scared of his Dad… I mean, really scared. Not scared that he will beat him, but sacred about what he is doing, what he wants Sirius to do. His brother, he's in Slytherin and … Sirius can't stand it. He wants him to ask to be resorted, but the Headmaster won't hear of it. They don't talk much, and when they do they just start fighting."
"This is going to be a hard year for him," John said with a sigh, then nodded towards the window. "Remus, let that owl in."
He pulled off the missive, surprised it was for him. Running the Hogwarts' seal under his thumb he heard Moody's laugh. "Makes ya nervous, hey boy? Think they owl you detentions?"
Remus grinned and opened the envelope, feeling foolish to think that Moody would have waited all this time to report him and the others for their midnight trip to the Astronomy Tower. He stood and re-read the letter twice before swallowing hard and handing it to his mother.
"I can't do this," he said clearly upset.
"Remus," she said grinning widely. "Prefect? You made Prefect!"
"Good boy, well done." John stood and looked over her shoulder at the letter. "Guess you have been doing more up there than just getting into trouble."
Remus felt his neck turning red and glanced up at Moody who pulled out a cigar, and rolled it between his fingers, examining it as he grinned. Tucking it back in his pocket, he started to laugh.
"Guess Dumbledore thinks he can do what the Professors can't," Moody guffawed. "Go on now. I know you are dying to share the good news with your friends.
Waiting until Remus had disappeared into the floo, Moody told Rhea and John about his fears that Remus could no longer hold his magic at bay. He was using too much, too young, Moody argued, more so than any other child he had seen. He granted them that Remus could control himself on a field, in a game, but worried about what would happen if he could not keep the wolf away when he angered.
"That's shite," Rhea said, "I don't remember many boys his age that could do at twenty what he can do at fifteen. You saw him today. You know how strong he is. What worries me is that he will draw Greyback's attention if he gets involved in this whole thing again."
"How much does he know of his brother?"
Rhea became interested in tidying the kitchen, picking up the dishes and putting them in the sink. "He knows."
"What? That he was bitten? That he died from some illness?" Moody slammed his walking stick on the floor, causing Rhea to jump, and then spin around to look at him.
"Does he know it was only his eyes that got him killed? Does he know this is for the rest of his life and each day could be his…"
"He knows what he needs, all he needs." Rhea stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind her. It was time for the milking, and she would much rather be working than talking about the future.
.
.
.
Remus flooed to James' house and shoved the letter at him at once. James laughed then fell to his knees and contacted Peter, telling him to collect Sirius and join them. They each read the letter and congratulated Remus with a roll of their eyes. Peter punched his arm and laughed that it would make it easier to have one less Prefect hunting them down this year.
"Peter!" Mrs Potter stood wiping her hands on her apron. "Shame on you, all of you. Being a Prefect brings a certain amount of responsibility with it. Don't you dare expect him to turn the other way just because he knows you."
"No, Mrs. Potter," Peter said meekly. "We were just teasing him."
"Sirius," she said as she walked back into the kitchen, "come help me reach the top shelf."
Sirius shrugged as he stood to follow her, shooting a quick glace at James and swallowing hard. "Give me a minute, okay?"
"Sure," Remus said, and then waited until he had left the room. "What's up with him?"
"Shhh," James held his finger to his lips, and scooted further from the open kitchen door, "things are getting bad at home. He says when he is sixteen he is leaving and Mum is trying to talk him about it."
"Where is he going?" Remus looked back to the door, and leaned closer to James.
"His aunt's house, only he can't. You know what they are doing to people like Tonks. If he goes there he would be putting his uncle at risk."
"Mine is no better then his are," Peter said, looking away. "Gran … well, she says she's too old to keep up with me. Says once I'm of age she'll be glad to be done tending kids."
Remus sat silently, not knowing what to say to Peter, hearing the pain in his voice and knowing there was no way to fix it.
"Hey," Sirius walked in the room with his hand in one pocket, jingling his money. "I happen to have enough for lunch if we eat cheap. How about we head down to the Hogs Head? He lets 5th years in."
"We aren't 5th…" Peter pouted.
James jumped up and headed for the floo. "Close enough. Only a week away."
They arrived to an almost empty bar and took one of the tables in front of the fireplace. Remus looked around and saw the lady from the Three Broomsticks sitting at the bar. He shivered at the cold and lifted his hands towards the fire to warm them. Leaning closer he began to grin.
"Hey, not even a real fire. Talk about cheap. He could at least toss some wood in there."
"Why is it so fucking cold in here?" Sirius asked.
"My dad says he keeps it this way so he doesn't have to buy a cooler for the mead," Peter said.
"Cooler? Since when do you keep the mead in a cooler?" James asked.
Sirius grinned and winked at Remus. "I guess when it comes in it can be a little hot in the…umm…"
"In the delivery," Remus laughed.
Aberforth looked up from the bar and scowled at them. "I don't want him in here I tell you, now you get rid of him or I will set him out myself."
Rosmerta glared at Aberforth with her hands resting on her ample hips and her foot tapping in time with the drops hitting the window. "It's raining, have you noticed?"
"Don't care," he said. "They came in, they go out."
"They used the floo old man. I won't kick them out into the storm. When it's over I will have them out, until then you bite your tongue and keep still."
Rosmerta picked up the tray full of butter beers and carried it to the table where the four sat leaning over the table whispering together.
"You should be down at the Broomsticks not in here." She slammed the tray down on the table and smirked as they all jumped and looked up at her meekly. "You know the rules Black. I've warned you about this before, you can come to my place but stay out of here."
"Once, just that once you caught me in here," he said silkily, as he pouted at her though his thick lashes.
"Don't you go acting all sweet and innocent boy. And you," she said turning to Peter, "I seem to remember having a conversation with you about being in here after curfew. Told you not to come back I did."
"Seems you are down here quite a bit yourself," he smirked then looked around the table for the approving grins that he knew would follow.
"That's no matter of yours. When it stops raining you can come down to the Broomsticks with me, but you don't come back in here."
She ruffled Remus' hair and saw his golden flecked eyes turn up to her. "I have work for you today. You hear?"
Sirius watched her as she walked away, her skirt swaying in the rhythm of her walk and her heels clicking on the floor. "Merlin Moony, she can rub my head any time she wants."
"Shut up, she's just friendly is all. She told my mum she will let me earn spending money."
"Yeah, I would like to be friendly with her," Sirius grabbed his crotch and moaned.
"Knock it off," Remus muttered. "She'll see you and we won't even be allowed back in her place."
"Get off it, Sirius, she would eat you up and spit you out. Anyway, she lets us sit in her place, not like some others." Peter laughed. "Although why she picked you Moony, is beyond me."
"I should go." Remus looked back at the bar to see Aberforth glare at him. "Rain is letting up anyway."
"Letting up? I can't even see across the street." Sirius lifted his head to peer out the dirty glass in the door. "Shite Moony, you can't go out there yet. You can't swim, least at this time of the month."
Remus dug in his pocket and found his coin for the butter beer, laying it on the table and looking again at Aberforth. "Nah, really guys, I'll meet you down there in a bit. I think I best leave. Ya know?"
Rosmerta grabbed his arm just as he was opening the door and pulled him to the floo. Throwing a couple of sickles in the box she drew out a handful of powder and threw it down as she pulled Remus in with her, shouting out "The Three Broomsticks" loud and clear.
"Costs as much for one as for two. Cheap bastard charges for the powder." She pushed him out into the Inn while she brushed off her skirt. "Now you tell me what the bloody hell you thought you were doing, going to the Hogs Head?"
"I … umm… well, I just…"
"Just didn't think, that's the truth of it."
"I guess not."
"You guess." She rolled her eyes at him. "Listen Lupin, you have to start standing up and just flat out saying no when they want you to do something you know is wrong."
"Why is it wrong for me to …?"
"You know why young man, don't pull that weepy eyed shite with me." She shook her head and stomped off toward the kitchen. "Well? You eating or just pouting?"
Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and started following her to the kitchen grinning as he watched her backside sway, remembering how Sirius liked to watch her walk. He climbed up on the stool she kept at the end of her worktable and waited until she slid over a bowl of stew to him.
"What do you need done today?" he asked between bites.
"I have two loose shutters upstairs. You can wait until it stops raining or see if you can spell it though the glass. The guests are complaining."
"That all?" He poked at the stew frowning.
"No, you can carry up the bottles from the cellar. Magic doesn't mix well with soda drinks."
"That's why they taste flat down in Diagon sometimes."
"What are you doing in the Alley?" She turned and glared at him.
"Just went a couple of times."
"We need to talk Remus," she sighed loudly.
"Ah, Rosie, I know I shouldn't have gone there but everyone else was."
"Just like today? They tell you what to do and you do it? And you call me Rosie again and I cut your gizzard out."
"We just stopped in today to… well I guess to get Aberforth going." He admitted with a shrug.
"I know, but Aberforth thinks you are… different. Now, maybe that is wrong and maybe he shouldn't but that's the way of it. Just you be glad he hasn't spread it around."
"It's hard. Ya know?"
"I know Lupin, trust me. I know all about different. Not for the same reason, and not for the rest of my life, least ways I hope not, but I think I know the feeling. I've been treated like I carry the plague a couple of times myself."
"Yeah, right," he said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
Rosmerta put her hands flat on the table and stared at him wondering how much Rhea had told him. She glanced back at a picture over the table and then to him. She knew his illness brought a maturity that his friends could not understand and tried to guage just how much he knew and would be able to forgive for not being told. She silently cursed his Mum for thinking he was better off not knowing.
"Remus, right now you are young and usually go places with your friends, but a time will come when you won't have them around you, to protect you. A time will come when things you think you know about people will be turned on its ear."
"I don't want them to protect me," Remus began to anger. "I can take care of myself."
"No, Lupin. You cannot. Not if you are in the wrong place, alone, with no one to tell what happened." Rosmerta laid her hand over his and lifted his chin with her other. "Promise me Remus. So help me Merlin I will floo your Mum and make you take a wizard oath the second the clock strikes on your birthday, you'll be old enough come spring, if I catch you at this again. Should have done it before, and I will bloody hell do it now."
"You worry too much." He grinned at her with that lopsided grin that made her want to break his neck.
"Gods, you haven't listened to a word you've been told."
"Rosmerta? How did you know about, well you know, I never told you?"
"That's my story young man." She winked at him and grinned. "Enough to say I recognized something in you. Then, that day your Mum came here and had lunch with you, your first week at Hogwarts I was sure."
"She told?"
"No, not in words." Rosmerta lied as she remembered his mother's tears. "Just the way she treated you reminded me of the way my… my friend's Mum treated him."
"Is he still around. I mean in Hogsmeade?"
"No, but even if he were I could not tell you that." She frowned at him. "I still see some of his friends from time to time. Can I tell them you would like to meet them?"
Remus looked down at the empty bowl and shook his head. "No, I don't think I want anyone else to know. It's fine that the ones that know are okay with it, but … I am not sure I want it out there for everyone."
"I think maybe it would do you good to meet them. Sort of show there is no reason to walk around like a whipped puppy all the time. I know your Mum thinks different, but you need to grow a backbone boy. You need to be sure of yourself. When you are, the anger will be easier to handle." She reached over and ruffled his hair again. "Now get to the shutters or you owe me for lunch."
She looked up at the unmoving picture over the kitchen table she had pushed into the corner and thought that after all these years she missed him still. The same amber flecks in his eyes, the same lopsided grin, and the same fear lurking in the corners of his mind had been in him as it was now in his younger brother. She thought of how Marcus used to rage against unjust treatment and beliefs in the old stories. She ran the back of her hand over her eyes to rid them of tears as she quickly looked around to make sure the boy was not watching, then made her decision.
"Lupin," she called up the stairs. "Leave the shutters. It is still raining too hard. Just get the sodas up."
"I tried." He came running down the stairs, hitting his heels on the bare wood and sending vibrations though the entire building.
"Lupin, do you take lessons on being noisy?"
"Yeah," he laughed at her look. "I'll get those sodas."
"No, leave them. With all this rain, I won't need them for a while. Bring up the butter beers instead."
Rosmerta nodded her head toward the open cellar door. "To the bottom and the right. Back up against the wall. Careful now, you break you buy."
"Got it." He started hitting his heels on the cellar steps and looking over his shoulder at her, then grinned and walked down silently.
Rosmerta turned , leaned her arms on the counter, lowered her head, and took deep breaths. She hoped she was doing the right thing. She sat on the stool he had used for his lunch and listened to his footfalls as they came slowly back up the stairs.
He walked into the kitchen empty handed and looked at her, his eyes large and unblinking.
"You? Are you…?"
"No, you know better than that. Don't you think you would know by know if I were?"
"Then who? Who did you hide down there?"
"Marcus."
"Marcus?" he asked, his voice uncertain and low. "My… my bro… my Marcus?"
"Yes, that's why your Mum felt comfortable here, why she brought you here for lunch. She wanted me to see who you were." Rosmerta took a deep breath and willed her stomach not to roll. "She came here the first time to show me what to do for Marcus, how to handle him, and to explain it to me."
"I don't remember him you know. They never talked about him. I mean, I know he existed, I just don't remember him at all."
"He stayed away when you were born and left for good soon after. He was just about to turn sixteen, and scared he would hurt you. He was older than you, already in school when Greyback got to him. That was before Albus knew about your family, I guess. Your Mum saw what happened with him, she knew what to do better with you, with the healers and all. And she plead with Albus until he found a way to let you in and get your name out of the Ministry registers."
"He came here? To you? My brother…Marcus I mean."
"Not for a while. He was around twenty I think when we… when I first met him. I only knew him at the end. A little over three years."
"When did he, you know, and how?"
"When were you bit? Fenrir heard he died and then went after you. Your brother was punishment for your father, so when Marcus was gone he went for you."
"Seven years ago. He died seven years ago?"
"Yes." She forced herself to sit still and look at him calmly, hiding her trembling hands in her lap where she twisted the folds of fabric around them.
"Did he, you know, did he … how did he …?"
"It was near the holidays, all he did was go shopping alone. I am not sure, but… the story is the shopkeeper recognized his eyes and panicked. You need to promise me to do what I said." She looked up at the picture hanging over the table. "He was dead when they brought him home so I didn't get to yell at him. But I swear by Merlin's beard boy, if you keep this up and make me bury you too, I will skin you alive."
Remus looked at her and tried to grin at her attempted joke.
"I need to go." He stood and looked out the window, seeing the rain falling just as hard as it was earlier. "I need to get out of here."
"Go, you can fix the shutters next time." She stood and picked up her knife to start chopping the vegetables again. "Remus? Remember he left home to protect you because he cared. He didn't want you to know, he was … I don't know, maybe ashamed."
"Mum and Dad, they never…"
"No fault there boy. It was hard for them to talk about it." Rosmerta narrowed her eyes at him. "He was proud of you."
He nodded, shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her nervously, his eyes filling with his own tears. "Rosmerta?"
"Make it good boy, you can see I'm busy."
"I've never heard your last name." He almost whispered his question as if the answer would be a betrayal of all he had known.
"Lupin," she said softly as her tears found their way over her cheek. "Same as you boy. I trust this will stay between us?"
"Why… why didn't I know? Why … ?"
"It's wrong. I know that, Remus. But… this is all I have, this Inn. If it comes out that we were married…my guests would stay away. It is all I have. I've worked hard to keep it."
"Were you ashamed of…"
"Gods no," she said in a rush and hurried to pull him close. "Never, never would I be ashamed of him! Someday you will find that there are different reasons for hiding things including whom you love. But never, never be ashamed of it."
A/N: The last bit beginning in the Hogs Head was part of a one shot I did earlier, A Witch with One Name. It has changed slightly but belongs here as I originally intended.