Warning: These one-shots feature heavy subjects, including alcoholism, drug abuse, and torture... so far. Now adding: depression, cheating, heartbreak, underage, implied prostitution, suicidal thoughts, someone having acid thrown on them, smut, implied rape/non-con. I'll add more as the story wears on, just in case.

Disclaimer: Credit goes to HannahSongla for the story idea. Please go check out her Hayniss story similar to this - Sweetheart. Credit goes to Suzanne Collins for the verse and the characters. I don't really own anything but the text of these one-shots. And no, that doesn't mean the song lyrics or the playlist. Enjoy c:

Song: I Can't Even by the Neighborhood featuring French Montana

I can't even,
I can't even believe what you did to me.
You can't even,
You can't even say I'm overreacting.

Her husband is waiting for her when she comes home that night. It's late - or it's early, she can't tell the difference at this point - and she's been out since midnight with friends - drinking, partying, doing everything that her daytime persona says she shouldn't be doing and would look down upon. She's got a slight buzz - a happy one, one she doesn't have often - from the drinks and even the small tablet that Johanna had convinced her to place on her tongue and she's basically feeling on top of the world. Nothing could knock her down right now, nothing could destroy this feeling of elation that she only gets when she's with them. Well, the only thing able to ruin her good mood would be for him to be awake as she comes in - but he has to go to work in the morning, he really shouldn't be awake. Or at least, that's what she hopes for.

Katniss trips into their small apartment, the effects of the multiple gelatin shots and the drugs she'd done pumping through her, making her unbalanced in the too-high heels she'd borrowed from Effie. Her hair is a definite mess - the once tight curls tossed into a messy ponytail - and some of the carefully applied make-up from earlier in her night is in disarray and smeared. Especially her once vibrant red lipstick, now smeared all over her face and her jaw. She looks like a walking disaster - stumbling in at three in the morning from a long night of debauchery, and the last thing she wants - or expects, honestly - is a lecture.

But of course, Peeta is awake. And now here they were - a very drunk and dizzy Katniss swaying drunkenly in the doorway, her mind going in and out of tune with his voice and a very upset and red-faced Peeta ranting and flailing his arms. He's saying something about someone, but she can't focus for some reason. Maybe it was the liquor. Maybe it was the drugs. Maybe it was just her subconscious tuning out what it didn't want to hear. Tuning out the fact that she is, indeed, a monster.

"Katniss!" Peeta snaps suddenly, standing and knocking the kitchen chair over. His voice is thundering and loud and it scares her for a moment, making her eyes widen and allowing her to step back - away from him. She'd never seen him so angry in her life and it seemed to be the only thing that scares her. "Answer me!"

"I didn't hear you!" she slurs, her tongue thick with alcohol. Katniss wishes she'd avoided that last shot before she left so that she could at least look half composed. "Can't answer a question I didn't hear, now can I?" Well, at least she still has her very sharp tongue. Peeta glares at her before pinching the bridge of his nose and frowning - taking a deep breath to collect himself. There's a long stretch of silence as Katniss stomach knots itself in tiny balls, preparing itself for any number of things.

"Who is Haymitch Abernathy?"

Well, she isn't quite prepared for that.

Katniss heart stops and she freezes - her swaying the only movement she's making. She knows damned well who Haymitch Abernathy is - she'd just come from his house, how could she not know? He was the man that she'd been partying with for the past two months - getting drunk or high with, having sex with, whatever they seemed to fancy at the time. Tonight it'd been all three and she'd had the time of her life. Point is, she knew that Haymitch was the man she'd been having an affair with.

Haymitch Abernathy himself was a very rich and - to Katniss - very handsome movie producer, director and actor. How she, a small town girl of Memphis, Tennessee, had come to meet him - well, that was a mystery. But they'd seemed to hit off right from the start - she being attracted to his mysterious yet rough exterior and him being attracted to well... everything about her.

Katniss doesn't quite remember who initiated the affair, but she does know that she would have never tried to end it.

"I don't know," lies Katniss through her teeth, staring at the wall behind Peeta's head because she can't look into those teary blue eyes. Her brain scrambles around desperately, grasping at straws in attempt to make up a lame excuse and throw her husband off her scent. "The guy from that movie the Quell?"

"Katniss," Peeta's voice has lost all anger and that's even scarier than the fury he was expressing earlier. He seems defeated as he steps towards her. She doesn't back away from him, she waits until he's a mere inch away from her face before raising her head to look him in the eyes. Peeta's lips brush over hers and then plant into her hair, and he pulls her close into his chest. He smells of bread and cologne, a familiar scent that she's grown to love. "You don't have to lie."

"I don't-"

"It's okay if you love him," he whispers, interrupting her and going into his own thoughts. "It hurts, sure. But all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, and you should know that. If he makes you happy then I want you to go with him. Does he make you happy, Kat?"

"Peeta..." Katniss whimpers, because she doesn't want to hurt him. "Peeta, I'm so sorry. It was an accident, I swear. I didn't mean to..." She trails off weakly, her arms raising before dropping to her sides, helplessly. What she'd done was unjustifiable - it was wrong and no doubt it hurt Peeta more than he was showing. Before she knows it, she's crying - which is pretty fucking stupid, considering she was the one who hurt him and he should be the one upset. Katniss had never intended to hurt anyone - she just wanted a little fun. Something to take her away from her tedious and monotonous lifestyle that had become boring. Now her little fun was being thrown back into her face with a blinding force, destroying everything she'd been building up with this man for the past eight years of her life.

"Does he treat you right?" he asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. She wants to sob at his gentleness - why won't he get angry or even hit her? That would make her feel a thousand times better than him holding her while she cried. That would at least make her feel like less of a piece of shit, no matter how selfish it was on her part. "I mean... is he good to you?"

"He's... he's not you," says Katniss, hoping Peeta isn't thinking that Haymitch was better than him. Haymitch wasn't better than him - in her mind, they were equals. She loved each of them the same, and that had gotten her into this mess.

"He doesn't have to be," Peeta replies, swallowing past a lump in his throat. He couldn't believe what he was about to utter next. "If you love him and you don't want to do this... us... then I'll send divorce papers. I won't shackle you to me, Katniss."

"I can't-"

"I was going to move back to Philadelphia anyways," again, Peeta interrupts her. Katniss can't help but think about how Effie would have a fit. A foolish thought, considering the circumstances. "I've been looking for a way to break the news to you. Maybe this is best for us, Katniss. Maybe this is a sign." He begins to pull away from her, heading to their bedroom where he'll most likely spend one final night. Katniss fumbles for her words before she grabs the cuffs of his sleeves, staring at him with glistening grey eyes.

What could one say at this moment to make it better? What could she do to make him want to stay? What possibly could fix any of this? Nothing. She'd fucked up, and she'd fucked up big time. Pleading for him to stay with her wouldn't be fair to herself, to Haymitch... but most of all, it wouldn't be fair to Peeta. She didn't want to beg him - she didn't want to make him bend to fit her will.

"Peeta wait," is all she can whisper, because she doesn't want to beg and he's right - she doesn't want to shackle him to her. Peeta of all people was the last to deserve her treacheries. To force him to bow and stay with her after she'd done this to him would be the greatest sin. "I don't want you to think that you weren't... that you aren't good enough. You're more than good enough. I'm just not... good enough for you."

Peeta smiles gently, removing her fingers from his sleeve and holding her hand in his. "I know, Katniss. I know that we could've made it work but... like I said, maybe this is just a sign. I'll pack my things now and be out of your hair in the morning, okay? I'm not angry with you, Katniss. Hurt? Very much so. But sometimes things change. And I can understand that. I want the best for you, okay? I love you."

Her fingers slipped from his and he pulled away, trekking down the hall with a slowness that made her heart wrench. The guest room door closed and she could hear his soft sniffles, the sounds of a man falling apart on the inside.

Katniss would never understand how a couple of little sniffles could rip apart her world.

You like to that you're right.
Did it make you feel bad when you cheated on your man last night?
Did I even ever cross your mind?
You like to say that you're right.

AN: To clarify, I do not condone the abuse of alcohol, adultery, or the abuse of drugs. But, for some reason, I'm more attracted to stories that deals with those things. So - I don't think it's a good thing to do, but I have a preference for stories that involve them.

Also, yes, I know - no Hayniss! But I also wanted to dabble in the aftermath of Haymitch and Katniss' affairs. What it would have done to Peeta, because too often, we Hayniss shippers forget our 2nd favorite blonde with blue eyes (or if we use book!Haymitch, our first favorite). So I dealt something different this time - please don't hate me.