Elise's alarm clock hadn't yet sounded when she woke, anxious and dehydrated, to find that Loki was already gone. His absence came as a relief. It wasn't until her choices were illuminated in the harsh light of day that Elise fully realized just how grievously poor her judgment had been. She was conflicted and disoriented, and she needed the morning after pill. She began brainstorming a way to get it as she walked, still naked, to the living room.
The papers regarding Tony Stark had vanished from the couch, but Elise had expected that. Sitting down, she opened her laptop to send an e-mail. She addressed it to Skip Parmeri and explained that she was feeling under the weather, that she would be working from home, and that everything relating to Loki's arraignment scheduled for the following day had been handled. A faint flicker of guilt threatened to change her mind – the e-mail's body was comprised mostly of lies and half-truths – but she squashed it quickly. She had planned to respond to the e-mails she had been neglecting while she waited for Parmeri's reply and Loki's permission to walk to the pharmacy, but it seemed too daunting a task for the first hour of the day. Instead, she closed her laptop and went to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal.
As she ate breakfast alone, leaning against the counter, disjointed, lewd scenes replayed themselves in Elise's mind. She resisted their intrusion upon her thoughts to the extent that she could, but to little avail. They followed her into the shower, where she stood staring into the tiles on the wall, remembering Loki's hands, his teeth, his skin, and the way it all felt until she found that her hand had made its way between her thighs. Before long, however, she was interrupted.
"You are insatiable," Loki laughed from the other side of the shower curtain.
Mortified, Elise peeked through the space between the curtain and the wall to make sure it was him. She took in a deep breath to slow her racing heart.
"Get out." Loki's demeanor became more severe. "There is too much to be done," he scolded, "for you to be standing here, playing with yourself."
Had Elise not feared him, her shame would have kept her from leaving the shower, but instead, she shut off the water and stepped out. Wrapping herself in a towel, she proceeded to the living room, her hair dripping as she walked.
"Show me a map," Loki demanded. He paced around the room as he often did, his eyes seeming to search the ceiling for something that wasn't there.
Elise went to retrieve her computer again and brought it to the couch. "What do you want a map of?"
"A map of your realm, of course," Loki answered impatiently as he seated himself beside her. "What other map could I possibly have need for?"
The laptop powered on slowly, and Elise seized the opportunity to ask her question: "Can we talk about yesterday?"
Loki seemed not to have expected it. "There is nothing to discuss," he scoffed.
"Well," Elise replied as she opened her web browser, "I'd like to discuss some things."
"Not now." Loki focused intently on the monitor as Elise navigated to Google Maps. "Is this it? Show me where we are."
"Here," she answered as she pointed, as accurately as she could, to New York's location in North America. "It might help if we zoom in."
"Do that," Loki said as he searched his person for the copies of Tony Stark's file, removed the papers, and thumbed through the pages. "Chart this location," he instructed as he pointed to an address that had been circled.
Elise leaned to read it, and it was quickly recognizable. "That's Stark Tower," she said.
"Did I ask you what it was?"
"No."
"Then do as I asked."
"But it's so easy to get to from here," Elise said, doing her best to be helpful. "You just go down to-"
"Elise," Loki interrupted, his jaw clenched, "you are treading on dangerous ground."
"Sorry." She typed the address into the search bar at the top of the page and added a place marker to the map.
Loki flipped the page and pointed out another circled address. "Now this."
Elise typed the address once again. It was a children's hospital in Queens to which Tony Stark had made a major donation the year before.
They kept doing that for several minutes until they had constructed a map of several of the properties that Stark either owned or invested in, as well as some that had been the targets of his philanthropy. It looked, Elise thought, like something a stalker might make.
Loki examined the interactive map and accompanying satellite photos. "This is good," he growled, "this is very good." He flipped to the last page in the packet of papers. Several e-mail addresses were scrawled on the back. "Send it to them."
Elise opened her personal e-mail account and sent a link to the map to each address.
"When will this message arrive?" Loki asked.
"It's an e-mail," Elise replied. "It's there already."
He smiled. "Splendid."
"Are we done then?"
"For now, yes," Loki said, standing, "though there will be another task for you tonight."
"Oh. Alright." Elise hoped that the task would be just as simple as the one she had just completed, but something in his voice implied that it would riskier. She left the couch, holding her towel up with one hand, and put away her computer.
After an extended silence, Loki spoke again. "Should you not be working?"
"I'm not going today," Elise said.
"And why not?"
"I have to take care of some things."
"What 'things?'"
Elise hesitated before she said, "I have to go to the pharmacy."
Loki looked her up and down. "What for?"
The confidence with which Elise had begun speaking was fading fast. "Plan B," she replied, looking to the floor.
"What plan is this?" Loki snapped. "You should be planning nothing, you-"
"Oh, no," Elise interrupted. "I mean emergency contraception. That's just what it's called."
Loki seemed unconvinced. "Explain."
Elise wasn't prepared to give a lesson on the functions and processes of the morning after pill. She herself didn't even entirely understand how it worked, only that it did. "It just, um," she stammered, "you take it when..." She sighed. "It's birth control. It's emergency birth control. It stops you from getting pregnant."
"And what is it, a poison?"
"No," Elise said, becoming frustrated, "it's a pill, it's hormones. Can I just go?"
To her embarrassment, Loki laughed at her. "No."
"Why not?"
"Because," he said, "you should have made this decision before you invited me into your bed."
"I didn't invite you anywhere!" Elise shouted, offended.
"Calm yourself," Loki urged.
"No," Elise yelled, "I can't be calm when you're trying-"
"I said, calm yourself!" he bellowed, his voice rattling Elise's ears.
She stood where she was, silent, and she watched a cruel grin cross Loki's lips as he approached her, slowly, then circled her, stopping at her back. His hands slithered through the spaces between her arms and her waist, and he tightened his grip around her, pressing her body against his. Elise closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, overcome with something she didn't understand, a powerful amalgamation of desperation, fear, and want.
"What are you after?" Loki said, his voice quiet, but thick and clear. "Tell me."
"I don't know," Elise sighed.
"I do." He brought his mouth from her ear to her neck, and his teeth gently raked her skin as he brought his lips together. "I can sense it."
Dazed and anxious, Elise failed to reply.
"Perhaps you think that I cannot give it to you." Loki's fingers threatened to initiate round two, wandering down the front of her. "I can."
"What are you talking about?"
Abruptly, he let go of her and walked to the opposite side of the room. "When you know it," Loki said, "you will cry for me. You will crawl to me, and you will beg, and then, you will have it." Without adding another word to his cryptic message, he vanished.
Her initial predicament continued to gnaw at her, but what Elise had just heard had left her thoughts in such disarray that she couldn't stay focused on a solution. She finally got dressed, brushed her teeth, and fixed her hair, all the while racking her brain for answers to the new questions she had. It wasn't difficult to understand what Loki had been trying to communicate. Instead, for Elise, the challenge lay in untangling the bundle of implications with which his words were laden. The path he had started her mind on was fraught with pitfalls, and there was no clear means of avoiding them all.
As she went about her day, Elise found herself wanting him to return, if nothing else, to give her answers. If she could just see him, she thought, maybe touch him, she could figure it out. She lingered on that thought – his touch. Soon, she lost herself lusting, so involved in her own fantasy that when she emerged, all the mental progress she had made was gone.
Elise laid down on the sofa, pressed the heels of her palms against her forehead, and cleared her mind. She wished she had a friend to confide in, or better, someone who would tell her what to do.
But she already had that, didn't she?
Elise beat her balled fist against the cushion of the couch. She was angry with herself for even thinking it, but who else did she have but Loki? Even as she started crying at the realization, the shoulder she wanted to rest her head on was his. He could be empathetic. He could show her compassion. He asked so little of her, and he promised so much.
For hours, Elise drifted around her apartment, her usual decision-making process replaced with something more intuitive, less accessible, and distressingly contrary to the rules and limitations she had been setting for herself for years. She didn't turn the lights on when the sun went down; she let her apartment grow dark and retreated to her bedroom. Where was he? Why had he not come back?
"Loki!" she shouted when it was too much to bear. "Loki, come home!"
Sure enough, he appeared in the doorway, illuminating the small space. "You seem distressed," he said, his tone flat and cold. "Is something the matter?"
When she saw him, Elise forgot her words. She went to where he stood and embraced him.
"You love me," Loki stated, letting his hand come to rest at her lower back.
"I might," Elise replied softly. "I think I do."
He withdrew his touch. "Are you ready for your task?"
Disheartened by his lack of enthusiasm, Elise backed away. "I guess," she said.
"Come."
Elise followed Loki to the kitchen. He reached to open one of the high cabinets that Elise never used due to her stature, and he brought down what seemed to be a birthday present.
"Listen carefully," he instructed as he handed the gift-wrapped box to her. "Do you remember the hospital? The one on the map?"
"The one in Queens?" Elise said. "Yeah."
"Go there," Loki continued, "and leave this with instructions that it be given to a doctor named Wen."
"Okay." Elise started toward her room to retrieve the quarters she saved for laundry and for the subway.
"Where are you going?" Loki asked.
"I'll have to take the train," she replied. "I need-"
"No," he said, "someone will come for you. Wait outside."
Elise didn't question it. She put on her coat and shoes, then went to the door.
"And Elise," Loki said as she left, "this is your test."
Not wanting to fail, Elise rushed down the stairs and stepped outside. She stood at the curb for only a moment before a car stopped. Against her better judgment, she climbed into the back seat.
The driver didn't speak to Elise, and she made no effort to address him. She just stared at the back of his head and waited for the thirty-minute trip to end. She worried only momentarily about the contents of the box; surely, she thought, Loki wouldn't put her in any danger. It was a test, wasn't it? What good was a test if its subject didn't live through the results?
She was dropped off at the emergency room entrance, but the driver called her back to the car before she made it to the entrance.
"Hey," he said, his accent thick. "I pick you up. Five minute."
"Thanks," Elise responded, and she went, the gift in her hands, through the hospital's entrance.
"Can I help you?" a receptionist asked as Elise approached.
"Yes." Her legs shook as soon as she stopped walking. She placed the box on the desk. "I'm dropping this off for doctor Wen. Can you make sure he gets it?"
"Oh, yeah," the receptionist said, "he mentioned he was expecting something. I'll make sure he knows its here."
Elise thanked her, but lingered at the desk.
"Is there something else you need?" the receptionist asked, seemingly concerned.
"Do you guys give out emergency contraception?" said Elise. "I mean, not give it out, but-"
"We do." The receptionist placed a clipboard on the desk in front of Elise. "But you'd need to be checked-in first."
"On second thought, never mind. I think my ride's here."
"Alright." The receptionist took the clipboard back. "Drive safe."
Elise walked quickly back to the car. Once she was in, she slumped in her seat. Again, it seemed, it would be a quiet ride. Whatever she had just done, she told herself, she couldn't undo. She hoped that her completion of the delivery would put Loki in a good mood, and that her newly-realized affection was not misplaced. For the last time that day, she wrangled with the meaning behind what he said before he left.
The car sped away almost as soon as Elise stepped out, and she returned, empty-handed, to her apartment. She opened the door and saw Loki waiting, still and pensive, on the couch.
"You did well," he said without turning to look at her.
"I can't know what it was, can I?" Elise asked as she slipped out of her coat.
"No."
Tentatively, Elise walked toward the couch to sit beside him. She waited for him to speak to her, but he didn't.
"I'm going to bed," Elise said. "Are you coming?"
"No," was Loki's curt response.
Tired, confused, and defeated, Elise went to her room to sleep alone.