Disclaimer: Not mine.


His Calling

Chapter 38

The Last Summer of Youth


The end of term came too quickly. The boys had packed their trunks and stowed their books in rucksacks, not talking about what was on their minds and trying to ignore the news they had read in the paper only an hour before. Sirius had thrown the Prophet on the table, after reading only half the front page, strode out of the dining hall and had not looked back when Potter had called out after him.

Remus had sat and clenched his teeth, unable to talk as he'd reread the article slowly, paying attention to the names of the Aurors that had lost their lives and imagining what it would feel like to have read Dawlish's name. He knew his mother would be in tears this morning and that John would be doing his best to convince her that he was safe, that his partners were trustworthy and would not give him up.

"Says someone tipped Rid…Volde…He-Who-Must-…shite, what the hell are we supposed to call him now?" Potter spat in disgust.

"The Great Fucker," Remus snorted.

"Dad says Lord Voldemort or Dark Lord. He says Lord Voldemort has some sort of spell that can trace who is talking about him," Peter said proud that he knew the answer.

"Then we won't say his name," Remus muttered. "Not many do anymore. It's almost a code for who is with him."

"We should start a movement," Potter grinned. "Everyone should say Voldemort at least a dozen times an hour, would drive the crazy loon nutters."

"Yeah, great idea," Remus said sarcastically. "Remind me not to let you plan any of our little outings. You will get us all killed."

"Hey, come on, Moony," Potter said softly. "I was joking."

"I am sick of your joking," Remus swung his legs over the bench and stood. "When are you going to grow up, Potter? You have the most to lose. Have you ever thought of that? Have you ever just once thought that you are the only one untouched by this thing?"

James and Peter sat and watched as Remus left the way Sirius had done, neither one understanding what had just happened. They finished their breakfast in silence until Peter quietly laid down his fork and turned to watch James.

"Do you think the paper has it right? I mean, I know lots of families that think Lord Voldemort is just protecting himself. Dad said last week that they were just having a meeting when the Aurors showed up and started things."

James hunched over the table, unable to meet Peter's eyes. "You don't believe that. Do you?"

"I don't know what to believe any more," Peter said sadly.

"You believed it the time Remus' mum got us out of the orchard. Remember? When they attacked his place?"

"Dad says they heard Greyback was hanging around and they…"

"What?" James turned to him angrily. "What did you say to…?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all. You know better than that, but…you have to admit if Greyback was hanging around anyplace it would be near someplace like the Lupin farm."

"Why? Because of Remus?"

"Well…no, but … sort of. The Lupins are there because it is so far out. Greyback would like that, you know…when he changes he has to hide too."

"They attacked during the day not during a full moon."

"That's what I said. I asked them why they were after Greyback anyway; after all he is with them now, so Voldemort couldn't have …"

"What do you mean he is with them?" James voice fell to a whisper.

"Yeah, Dad said all the werewolves were siding with the Dark Lord, and that they wanted to get the rest of the non-humans to…only, I don't think he was when they attacked the farm. Do you think he lied to me? On purpose?"

"Like what? You said non-humans."

"You know… the werewolves, vampires, things like that. He wants to get the giants too."

James frowned and looked up to the head table, looking for Dumbledore. "Listen, Wormtail. I have something to do. Bring my stuff down to the train. I'll meet you there."

Waiting until Peter had left the Great Hall; James went to the head table and whispered in Dumbledore's ear, telling him with some urgency that they needed to talk.

For the first time the boys did not ride the train back to London together, although Remus had left on his own before, the other three had always grabbed a compartment to themselves. Remus Apparated to the farm in full view of the Professors, not caring who saw him, while Peter ran off to meet his father in Hogsmeade, proud to be riding home on booms. Sirius waited until the train began to move before hopping onto it, hoping that James would come rushing down the platform at the last moment, disappointed and confused when he did not.

Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet on the trip home, sitting with others in his year, not taking part in the friendly banter, and the not too friendly teasing. Sneering at the comments from the students of other houses, he refused to take up the cause of which house was the best, preferring to stare out the window at the plains of Scotland, watching as they gave way to the pastures and small towns of England. Even Snape and Mulciber seemed to notice his foul mood, and after their first barbs were not returned, left him alone to stare out the window.

He did not know what this summer would bring, but he knew that in just a couple of short months he would have to make a choice. It was a choice that would determine his life from that point on.

.

.

.

The next morning Remus sat at his kitchen table, resting his head in his hands, bemoaning the fact that it was still dark outside and yet his parents expected him to be up and helping John with the chores an hour ago. Rhea slid a cup of tea and a plate of eggs and sausage in front of him before joining him at the table.

"Turning into a real city boy, are you?"

"I'm just not used to it," Remus sighed and reached for his tea. "It gets harder every year."

"Staying up late?"

"No," he said, looking up at her from under his brows. "I don't have a girlfriend if that is what you are asking."

"It was." Rhea reached over and ruffled his hair. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"For who? Me or her?"

"You know what I meant."

"And you know what I mean," he said gruffly. "Mum, was Dad at the raid? The one in the paper yesterday?

"Yes, but he doesn't want to talk about it. You know how he is."

"Right," Remus sighed. "Does he know who gave them up?"

"No, not yet."

"It can happen again," he said meaningfully.

"The Ministry is trying to rotate partners more often, making it harder for one person to…"

"But not impossible."

"No…not impossible. Listen, Remus, I worry. I worry all the time about him, but he won't quit and I won't ask him to. This is who he is."

"What if it's him next time?"

Rhea studied his face then shook her head. "Then we will have to start over. In the mean time, you should get the barn ready for Monday. That gives you three days."

"Right," Remus said as he turned to look at the calendar next to the sink, seeing the date circled in a red marker. "The guys won't be here. You know about them? What we do?"

"I think so," Rhea sighed. "I know it's not right, but if they keep you safe, and if they keep themselves and others safe I guess it's all right. Merlin, no it's not right! But what are we to do?"

"When they are with me I can ignore humans…for the most part. There have been a couple of times they had to jump in, but not bad."

"Have you given anymore thought to what your dad …?"

"No," Remus spat as he stood up. "I am not going to change my mind. I am staying. At least until this thing is over. When it is maybe I will see what else is out there, but for now I stay."

Rhea watched him walk out of the door and heard it slam behind him, sounding like the door at the old house. Needs a spring, she thought, and felt suddenly cold at the memory of the door sounding so much like the retort of John's old hunting gun.

"Strange," she mused aloud, unable to remember where she had put the firearm, only now feeling the need to keep it close.

After inspecting the barn, Remus had felt uneasy that he could no longer trust himself not to escape his restraints. His strength had doubled since only a year ago, and he knew that without Prongs to chase after and Wormtail to grab his attention, his mind would once again slip into the wolf's. Knowing the cost of open iron bars and a gate was beyond their means, he laboured to build a small room into the corner of the barn, secured with a heavy door that could only be opened from the outside.

Remus spent most of the summer mending fences and ripping out the woodbox from the kitchen wall. He had spoken to John about the unsecured opening, wondering aloud why it would not hold a ward. Rhea complained that she would now have to haul in wood from the yard, but Remus assured her he would put a stockpile in the cellar, and if needed, he would return during term to refill it.

When not working he would walk down to the river and sit on the bank, where he and John had shared many hours in the past, or where he'd got lost in books of far away places and lands that he thought never to see. On one occasion, John joined him to practice using wandless magic, John unable to perfect the simplest spell and Remus learning to levitate light articles and move them short distances.

"You shouldn't spend all your time working," John said, lifting his hand in an attempt to raise Remus' book.

"I have to learn this." Remus lifted his own arm and flicked his wrist, rotating his hand to a semi palm-up position, watching the book slowly move up.

"You have a lifetime to learn this. What about your friends?" John smirked, and tried to hide his frustration at not being able to do the spell Remus was perfecting.

"I can't very well contact Sirius or Peter, and Potter…" Remus bent down to pick up his book, letting his voice trail off. "I may go into the city. Haven't been there for a while. May catch a show down at the cinema."

"No, I don't think that is a good idea right now. Maybe in a few months."

Remus stood and studied John. "Something is happening."

"So you had a falling out with Potter?"

"Not really."

"I think it is time we had Moody over for tea. What do you say we tell your Mum?"

Remus shoved the book under his arm and shrugged his shoulders, not meeting John's eyes. Turning to walk back to the house, he ignored his stepfather's repeated attempts to call him back until he rounded the bend in the path and was no longer visible. No longer feeling John watching him he stepped into his Apparation and spun out.

He had not been to London alone for a long time. Walking along the familiar streets he stopped, longing to go into the shop Tiffany had worked at, wanting to see her standing at the counter in her pink uniform. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he kept moving, keeping his head down, and watching the pavement as he went. Lost in thought he did not even notice the shorter strides that fell into step with his own.

"Hey, Remus," Peter said, bringing him back to reality.

"Merlin, Wormtail, how…how the bloody hell did you find me?"

"Moody. He put out a tracking spell, right brilliant that one. Listen, you got to get out of here. You got to get home."

"Why?"

"Your Mum, she sent me, figured you would be here or up at Godric's. It's Sirius, he left home. His dad is furious and threatening to … well… I'm not sure what, but he said something about anyone that helped him would be at the pointed end of his wand."

"Where is he?" Remus stopped in the middle of the pavement and glared at Peter.

"At the Potter's house, but if you tell anyone they will have his arse. I went there first, and then headed over to see you. If Sirius' dad shows up and you are gone, he may think you are hiding him and Moody said his tracking spell isn't a secret, anyone worth a damn would know it. "

"The Potter's aren't…"

"They are working on it. The Potters have another house somewhere, untraceable, a safe house. Come on, we need to get going. I don't like standing here with my arse hanging out."

Remus looked around, then grabbed Peter's arm, pulling him into an alleyway before he let him go. "Go home, Peter. We don't need to be seen together."

Peter nodded nervously, looking back over his shoulder to the pavement. "I'll try to keep in touch. Saturday is the moon, should I wait until Monday?"

"No, I want to know. I don't care what time it is. You can talk to John if it is late on Saturday, now go." He waited until Peter's crack of apparation had died down before leaving himself.

His feet hit the ground unevenly, sending him to the ground in a heap, rolling down a sharp incline, and coming to rest against a stone wall, a loud crack filling his ears.

"Fuck," he muttered, arching his back and wincing as a sharp pain radiated down his spine. He struggled to reach into his waistband for his wand, only to discover he could not lift his right arm. Crossing his left arm over to his right hip, he pulled out his wand and thought what to do.

He did not know if Andromeda lived in the Muggle or the Wizarding world. Cursing himself for Apparating to a place he had only flooed to in the past, he grasped his right arm with his left, rocked on his knees and finally threw himself up to a standing position, cautiously peeking over the wall to spy on the Tonk's yard.

"Who you?" A small brown haired girl stood looking back at him.

"Umm, is your Mum home?"

"No." She cocked her head to the side, and narrowed her eyes. "You mum home?"

"Yeah," he snorted. "I think she is."

"Think she is." Brown curls bounced as she spoke and nodded her head.

"Go get your dad," Remus demanded, hugging his arm closer to his body.

"Get your dad." She pouted.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda scowled as she walked out of the screen door, letting it slam behind her. "Remus? My goodness, you are the last person I would have thought to see just now."

"Mrs. Tonks, I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"Of course," she exclaimed, walking to the gate and holding it open. "Don't mind little Miss Mimic, she repeats everything she hears. What happened to your arm?"

"Fell, think something is broken." He entered the yard and followed her to the back door. "Can't lift it."

"Sit," Andromeda pointed to a kitchen chair and glanced out the window to check on Nymphadora before turning to help Remus with a healing charm. "I can set it right, but you have your mother take you up to St. Mungo's after you floo home. No more Apparating."

"Thanks," Remus muttered. "I came to find out about Sirius."

"I couldn't take him," she said sadly, sitting opposite him and reaching over the table to put her hand over his. "Gods, how I want to, but I can't risk it. I just can't. We don't have anywhere to hide him and if his father decides to cause trouble it could…I have the baby, and Ted is a good man, a good…I can't ask him to protect us."

"Is Sirius' dad really that bad? I mean…I know he is upset, I spoke to Peter, but to…they …the Potters, according to Peter they are going into hiding."

"I don't know, I really don't. I haven't seen anyone in the family, well…other than Sirius, and no one, and I mean no one, can know that. I can tell you that if anything were to happen it wouldn't be by his hand. He would hire someone to do his dirty work, that or…" she suddenly stopped talking and frowned at him, "Remus, how much of this…this war…do you really understand?"

"Enough."

"Are you sure? Are you certain you kids grasp what is happening, not just what is in the paper or what they teach you at Hogwarts? Remus, I don't know if you can understand…"

"Yeah, well… yeah, I know. This girl, she was…she was killed just because she was a Muggle and…"

"I know," she sighed. "He-who-must-not-be-named is gathering forces. There are lots of rumours out there. One being that he is giving free reign to whoever will stand with him. Remus, there are a lot of dark wizards in the world. Evil, corrupt, vile creatures, wizards and other…things, that are not fit to walk this earth. He not only encourages them, but also rewards them for doing his bidding. There are others, the Malfoys, Wilkes, Yaxleys, and even the Blacks that think, truly think, that they are standing up for our world. They have fallen into a certain mindset and cannot be dissuaded from it. They have almost made a religion of it, and proclaimed Rid… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named their prophet."

"What I don't understand is some of the people that don't see him for what he is. There was a kid at school, he was in a higher year, but he talked about…him…all the time. About how things would change. He still comes around sometimes and picks up some of the guys for the weekend. Snape and Mulciber mainly, a few others now and then, but mostly those two." Remus swallowed hard, trying to ignore her comment about vile creatures not fit to walk the earth.

"The Headmaster lets them go?"

"He must. Lately there have been more things to do on weekends. It makes some want to stay behind, but…they still go."

"I don't know those two, but I would guess that they don't have much of a home life. That they are sort of alone in the world and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is taking advantage of it, using them."

"Do you know Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy?"

"I knew his father. Arrogant bast…arrogant man," she stammered. "Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You stay away from him, and that Mulciber and Snape as well."

"Don't worry about that," Remus snorted. "Potter has a thing for a girl that Snape seems to like. At least it looks that way. She is the only girl outside of his house that he talks with; at least they used to talk. Anyway, we don't exactly see eye to eye. Mulciber is odd. He has a way that makes my skin crawl."

"Trust that feeing, if he is with the Malfoy family Rid… that bastard is not far behind. Now, how is that arm feeling?"

"Better," Remus chuckled. "Forgot about it."

"You'd best be off before Ted comes home. He often drags Moody in for tea, and I have to round up Nymphadora." Andromeda stood and started to the back door, then stopped and turned around to study him. "Remus, if you do see him before term starts, tell him… tell him we are sorry."

Remus watched until she had picked up the little girl and swung her casually to her hip, before he went to the sitting room to use the floo. He could still hear her voice as she spoke of the vile creatures, still see the disgust on her face, and knew, knew that he was what she was speaking of.