Warning: These one-shots feature heavy subjects, including alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide and torture... so far. Now adding: depression, cheating, heartbreak, underage, implied prostitution, suicidal thoughts, someone having acid thrown on them, smut, implied rape/non-con. I'll add more as the story wears on, just in case.

Disclaimer: Credit goes to HannahSongla for the story idea. Please go check out her Hayniss story similar to this - Sweetheart. Credit goes to Suzanne Collins for the verse and the characters. I don't really own anything but the text of these one-shots. And no, that doesn't mean the song lyrics or the playlist. Enjoy c:

AN: Prompt borrowed from the Hayffie fic Tethered Souls. Except this is just a one-shot. Also - I don't know why I thought it was good to end it there. I had written some other stuff about Katniss remembering Haymitch and all that jazz, but I liked it there so that's where I closed things up.

Song: Afraid by the Neighborhood

Afraid

It hurts but,
I won't fight you
You suck anyway
You make me want to die, right when I-

Katniss wakes up one morning and there's an automatic emptiness in her chest - as soon as she comes to her senses, it hits her like a sharp stab to the heart, with so much force that she has to lie back down. She notices for a split moment that this is the same emptiness that she'd been experiencing since the end of the war, since the death of Prim. But for some reason, it feels like something different. The pain from the loss of her sister had worn off - slowly but surely, it felt like she'd been recovering. Haymitch had been- Haymitch! Katniss' hand extends to his side of the bed, expecting to feel the small soft paunch of his stomach or the warmth of his body heat lingering in the bed. Instead, it's cold.

The chill of the bed sends one straight up her spine, and like a bolt of electricity, shoots her out of the bed. As soon as she's on her feet, her heart sinks to the bottom of her stomach, and tears prick in her eyes. Katniss can't tear her eyes away from the two large suitcases packed near the closet door - the gold engraved initials on the suitcase handles seemingly standing out against the dark leather. Katniss' feet feel like fire as she yanks open the closet door, but the only clothes hanging up are hers - all of Haymitch's are gone. A moment of dread runs through her, at what any of this could possibly mean. Disbelief mingling with shock and rage, she turns on her heels and snaps open the drawers that usually hold Haymitch's things.

Empty. Nothing.

A guttural scream of fury escapes her lips as Katniss turns and runs out of the room - storming down the stairs with way too much force. Her feet slam against the landing with a loud thunk!. Any other morning she would pad down quietly, surprise him in the kitchen as she wraps her arms around his waist and kisses the scar on his left shoulder blade. Tell him she loves him and steal a slice of bacon.

Any other time, she wouldn't be so afraid of losing him.

As soon as she hits the stairway landing, she runs right into Haymitch. He grabs her biceps and holds her at arms length, a dimpled smile warming her heart for a moment.

"What's the rush, sweetheart?" he asks, grinning at her. For some reason, he looks ten years younger this morning. He's freshly shaved and his hair looks combed - maintaining some of that messy trademark that is Haymitch, but it looks neater. For a second, Katniss forgets why she was angry with him. "You can't be that hungry."

"Why are your bags packed?" Katniss blurts once she remembers, her hands pressing against his chest. "Why are you leaving me? What did I do?" Haymitch's entire face falls - his piercing slate colored eyes sadden and his smile slips from his face. He adverts his eyes and loosens his grip on Katniss' arms.

"I have no clue what you're talking about," Haymitch says, although it's obvious that he's lying. He's usually such an excellent liar, it's strange to be able to read right through what he's thinking immediately. It took her a few moments most of the time. Katniss stomps her foot - ignoring the childish feeling that comes with it - and pounds her fists against his chest.

"Answer me goddamnit! Why are you leaving me? Why are you leaving?!" Haymitch tightens his grip again, brings her close to his chest. For some reason, the hold feels empty. She pushes against him, the streams of tears running down her cheeks. Katniss is so busy fighting against Haymitch that she doesn't notice when Peeta walks in through the back door, wiping sweat on his forehead.

"What're you up to, Katniss?" he asks immediately, noticing her fight with what appeared to be nothing. Katniss looks up and peers over Haymitch's shoulder, staring at Peeta with wide, tear-filled eyes.

"Haymitch won't tell me why he's leaving. Why is he leaving, Peeta? What's wrong with me? What did I do?" she asks. There's a sense of hysteria in her voice that makes Haymitch and Peeta cringe simultaneously.

"You didn't do anything, sweetheart. I love you," Haymitch points out, attempting to pull her back to him. She snatches away and glares at him.

"Then why are you leaving me?" Katniss asks, her hands on her hips. Haymitch moves away, turns around to grip the staircase banister. She stares at his back angrily, and she knows he can feel her glare because it's like he tenses up again.

"Leaving yo-...? Katniss, did you take your medicines today?" Peeta asks, inching towards her cautiously. There's confusion in his blue eyes.

"What medicines? What're you talking about Peeta?" she asks, turning her attention back to him. She had forgotten to not-glare, so Peeta flinches before adverting his eyes towards the staircase, where he seems to be anticipating something.

"Katniss, where are the kids? And why don't we get you back to bed, hm?" The blonde approaches her, gently touching her bicep before his hand curls around it. Katniss' eyes divert to Haymitch for a second, but he's gone - he's sitting on the couch now.

"Go with him, sweetheart. Listen to him. He'll take care of you," he whispers, his voice hoarse. He's hunched over, like when they used to get drunk and she'd hold him. The threadbare dressing gown that he wore every night before bed billows, even though all of the windows are closed. The windows are always closed - someone they knew was an anemic and got cold too quickly. Katniss fumbles around in her mind to remember who that was.

"Haymitch what's happening?" she asks, attempting to take a step towards the couch. He stands and turns his back on her again, walking away towards the front door. Katniss can't see him, but she knows his eyes are tightly and his lips are moving as he attempts to figure out a solution to the situation. "Haymitch?"

"Katniss! Who are you talking to?" Peeta asks, stepping in front of her view of Haymitch. Katniss stares at Peeta confusedly, her eyes desperately searching to find the plaid pattern of Haymitch's nightgown.

"Haymitch. He's right behind you!" She points, attempting to push Peeta out of the way in the same action. There's a sleepy voice behind her, someone asks a question and Peeta murmurs a reply - sounds like he says 'get back to bed'. Katniss pushes against Peeta's grip. "He's right there, see!"

"No one is there, Katniss. No one," Peeta says, gripping both of her upper arms tightly and shaking her. He's gripping her too hard and there are tears in his eyes now that are threatening to fall.

"But, Haymitch-"

"-is dead, Katniss. Has been for six months. Remember, we went over this yesterday?" The news makes Katniss' blood run cold and she looks to where Haymitch had been standing. He's gone - and if she looks closely, Katniss can see the light layer of dust on the couch and the small living area table - which is impossible because-

"What?"

"He's dead. His liver gave out. He's dead. Okay? Now get upstairs and take your pills." Peeta doesn't make it an option for her to do it herself, he steers her away from the downstairs area to the stairs, where he forces her back into the bedroom she used to share with Haymitch.

She's still in a daze when she passes a door, bright pink with yellow letters spelled out on the front. Beatrix.

Katniss frowns, yanks away from Peeta to open the door. He tries to stop her, tries to pull her away, but she pushes open the door and is assaulted by light hues of pinks and purples. A small girl with plain dark hair plays with a doll set, and when she turns around, Katniss is assaulted by all too familiar slate gray eyes.

You're too mean,
I don't like you
Fuck you anyway
You make me want to scream, at the top of my lungs