Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 43

Lucy

That summer Rhea worried about Remus. She had never known him to be so quiet and inattentive to his chores and the things that up to now he had taken care of in the summer months. He was more apt to be off alone with his nose shoved in a book than joining his friends in town, or begging for a few pounds to spend at the cinema. She worried about him and John both. Watching them avoid each other, John becoming suddenly interested in his paper, Remus uncomfortably leaving the room, opting to go to bed early, rather than sitting and talking as he had in the past. The house seemed quiet, colder, the meal times silent and the night times quieter still.

Twice she had tried to bring up the subject of Lucy and the rest of the Spencer family, and twice he had walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him, the second time not returning until the sun was coming up over the horizon. She had pretended that she did not care, that he was old enough to be out, that she trusted him, only to sit by the window and watch for him to come walking down the path.

"He is learning his way," John had said.

Learning his way, she thought, just as Marcus learned his. Wiping the dishes, she gazed out of the window and thought of Marcus, dead now many years, and felt again the pain she had felt at his leaving. She sat at the table and held her head in her hands, knowing that Remus would be gone as well within a year.

"You can't hold on to him forever," John said, leaning down to her ear, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"I want him to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted."

"Don't lie to me. You want him to be like everyone else." He tipped up her chin and looked into her eyes. "You want grandchildren, and noise at the holidays. You want to go shopping in Diagon and brag about how well he does, how handsome he is…all the simple things you should take for granted but will never have."

She sighed, turning her head just enough to kiss the palm of his hand. "When Anthony was taken I thought I would never love another man. I thought that part of me had died with him, before that even. With Greyback. He killed what was between us. Now, I love you more than life. You know that, right?"

"I know," he whispered, "and I never thought I would find someone who would put up with me. Six times in St. Mungo's last year alone."

"Funny. Are you sorry we never had children of our own?" She avoided his eyes as she had tried to avoid his ill-conceived joke.

"I have a son, and you have had two," he said softly. "We have had our hands full with him. Anyway, I would have lost my nerve to explain sex to more than one, and if you'd had a girl I wouldn't know what to do."

"You're right, I do...I did …want more out of life. I wanted to give you children too. I guess I have to grow up and accept it, Remus has. It's never going to be what I want." She sighed, pulling his hand down until he sat at the table with her. "I was thinking of Marcus. I thought of that witch, Rosmerta, how much she gave him, and how, without her he would have died alone. I want that for Remus, I truly do. I want him to … to have a whole life, to have someone accept him for what…and who he is. I don't want him skirting around the edges and being satisfied with the leftovers."

"He can never have it all, you know that, Rhea. Even if he leaves this world, he will never...be normal…have a normal life…be accepted. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it is the truth."

"He is visiting Black today. It's the first time this summer he has. Do you think he…?"

"He is fine. He's not a child any longer. He has the legal right to go and do…"

"But he doesn't. Does he? Werewolves don't have legal rights," she spat in a sudden fit of anger, pulling her hand back from his.

"Rhea," he said harshly, raising his voice. "Let him have his last peace. They branded him. Gods, witch, it is a wonder he is still here. If I were in his place, I would have packed what I could carry on my back and left the same day. I want to tell him to run every time I see him! I can't stand to be in the same fucking room with him and not shake some sense into him! What more do you expect of him? How much more can he give you? He's going to die, Rhea…do you understand where this is going? If he doesn't get the fuck out of here he is going to die!"

"You promised," she clenched her teeth and hissed at him. "Not a word until he finishes school…not one word John Dawlish!"

She pushed away from the table and finished the dishes, shutting off her mind to John's protests, not responding as he continued to talk, not crying until she heard the screen door shut behind him.

.

.

Remus walked around the motorcycle smirking. "Ya know… you are going to get us both killed on that thing."

"Hey," Sirius grinned. "We said we would never live long enough to get old. Hop on, I'll take you for a ride," Sirius jumped on the bike, gunning the engine and jerking his head toward the back.

"What?" Remus shouted over the loud rumble.

"I said…Get on," Sirius yelled back.

Remus shrugged, and throwing his leg over the bike, started to laugh and leaned forward to talk into Sirius' ear just as the cycle lurched forward and thundered off. After the first few minutes Remus decided he preferred brooms, they were cleaner, quieter and more comfortable, and then realized he had never felt so free.

They continued through the countryside, unable to talk over the noise of the motor, going faster as they rode further from the cities. Remus was sheltered from the wind by Sirius' body, only his hair whipping as he sloughed behind Sirius. On a sudden whim, he slapped Sirius on the shoulder, and pointed to an upcoming road, which Sirius turned onto, leaning to the right, using his weight to help turn the monstrous bike.

They continued until Sirius recognized this as the road to the old Spencer farm. Shouting over his shoulder, he felt more than saw Remus' nod, and turned on the third road up to continue on.

"Cluck, cluck, cluck, chicken," Sirius teased as he later cut the engine before crossing the wards to the Spencer farm, and waited for Remus to get off. "Didn't like it?"

"Not even close," Remus smirked. "Now, Padfoot, I don't know a damned thing about bikes, but I do know this one is old enough to have earned a quiet death. Bury it. Say prayers over it. Good Merlin, burn it and get a new one. If I ever get a job I'll even help pay for it."

"I'm going to make it fly," Sirius smirked as he stroked the bike lovingly.

"Yeah, tell me when that thing flies and I'll go catching pigs with you," Remus snorted.

Sirius studied his face before answering. "You seem off, Remus. I haven't seen you all summer, now you …I don't know. Are your folks giving you a rough time?"

"Nah, just got a lot to do this summer," Remus walked to the end of the road, and looked out at the Spencer property, seeing the roof of the house in the distance poking up over a low green hill.

"So, should we leave the bike here and walk in?"

"She won't be home this time of day," Remus lied.

"You seeing much of her?"

"No, haven't seen her…just at the train. What's Potter up to?"

"Trying to get in Lily's kickers," Sirius smirked. "Looked to me as if you would be doing the same thing with Lucy. What? She cut you off?"

"Stop. Listen, I have to get back, I can get home myself if you have other things to do." Remus stepped back and waved Sirius off with a flick of his hand.

"Is she related to the Spencers down at Dover? You know, the ones in the paper? Couple of weeks ago."

"I haven't read it. Mum stopped …What do you mean the Spencers down in Dover?"

"Spencer… an old lady was killed." Sirius stopped, seeing Remus' face darken. "She's from Germany, right? Your Lucy is from Germany you said."

"Could be," Remus said tersely. "Go on, what happened?"

"One of Voldy's raids. Guess it was a bad one. Three dead, an old widow woman they said, and a couple of her friends. Didn't say much about them, it was more about the war that is building up. You know, the whole whatever are we to do thing."

"I need to get down there," Remus climbed on the back of the cycle. "Can this thing go off the road?"

"Lucy's a Spencer, right?" Black called back over his shoulder as he grasped the handlebars and prepared to kick-start the bike. "She related you think?"

"I don't know," Remus clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, as the bike lurched forward and roared into life. "I asked you a question."

"Remember Steve McQueen in The Great Escape?"

"Yeah," Remus ground out as the bike left the pavement and started bouncing across the field. "Fuck it, Sirius, just stay away from the fence. I've got enough scars."

"Leather," Sirius called back over his shoulder."

"What?" Remus shouted, leaning forward, trying to hear at the same time as trying to find something to hold on to other than the person in front of him.

"Leather…we need to get you some leather."

Remus gave up the fight for dignity and male pride, wrapped his arms around Sirius and wished he knew what praying was all about.

.

.

Remus ran up the path at the Spencer farm, and pounded on the door, not surprised to see Lucy's face peak out of the window by the door. She hurried and yanked the door open, calling out his name in a tearful rush of relief and longing.

"Remus! I didn't think you would come."

"You should have sent for me. It's true then…your mum?"

"No, but my Grandma, and my Aunt Daisy, and her … companion."

"Companion? What…oh," he stammered, realizing what she meant. "What caused it? Do you know?"

"Not really." She took his hand and led him into the sitting room. "They didn't look for me. I don't think they even knew I was here, so they couldn't have been after me."

"What?" His stomach fell as he grabbed her arm and held her firmly in place. "You were there?"

"Grandma pushed me down into the cellar. I…I heard it, but …I was scared so I hid. I couldn't do anything. I wanted to…but…I can't…I can't use magic…and…," she stammered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Was your aunt…?"

"My aunt is …was a big mouth complainer about everything from the condition of the pavement in Diagon, to the quality of parchment used by the Ministry for their mailings. She delighted in making enemies and was not shy about it."

"Put that with her sexual orientation and Vol...he-who-we-hate singled her out."

"That and her companion was Muggle," she choked. "I don't get it. They wouldn't have hurt a fly. They were good people! They would have done anything...for anyone. They lived in a Muggle area. They didn't even spend much time in the wizard areas. How could they have been a threat? Because they lived together? Because they didn't hide who they were?"

He flopped down on the sofa, pulling her with him. "I'm sorry, Lucy. It must have been hard to hear what was going on and not…"

"And not be able to help? Yeah, yeah it was. It all happened so fast."

"What are you going to do now? Are you and you mum sticking around? If not, it may be safer to stay in a Wizarding area here."

"We're going home. My real home I told you about, in Germany, only we don't … or didn't…spend a lot of time there. Grandma's house, and this one," she waved her hand to indicate the house, "was where my father grew up. It belongs to my uncle now. Mum says he will probably get the Dover house as well, and since I…he won't let us stay in it. I know I lied to you, but…we …Mum wanted to hide me…so …I went to Grandma's more than home to Germany. She thought it was better if no one really knew where we were, we just keep moving."

Remus put his hand under her chin and studied her face. "Will he let you stay here? It is safer than being on your own in another country."

"I won't. Not without my mum and she's in town getting portkeys made, she refuses to stay." She turned away from him nervously.

"If he is family he…"

"He makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it is my imagination…but I don't think so."

Remus watched her face and saw her look of disgust. "Has he ever touched you?"

"No," she shook her head adamantly, "not like that… not…sexually. I would have run screaming if he did something like that, no…its…something…I can't explain. He …he watches. He goes off late at night and doesn't come home sometimes for a couple of days. When he does it looks like he's been fighting."

"You think he is in with them?"

"That or against them. How can you tell anymore? I keep thinking about him…it would mean that he turned in his own mother. Gods, Remus, how could someone do that?"

"I don't know. You can't trust anyone. Lucy…" he frowned and leaned down, kissing her full on he mouth, surprised when she threw her arms around him and deepened the kiss.

"Merlin, I've missed you," he muttered into her mouth.

"I kept waiting for you," she whispered back.

Remus felt his arms go around her, pulling her tightly into him, his hands kneading the flesh of her back and sides, sliding down to her arse and grasping her, pulling her even closer as his mouth covered hers, swallowing her saliva and tasting the salt of her tears.

"Lucy," he whispered huskily, "We shouldn't be doing this. Not like this. Not now. I just heard, just today while I was talking to Sirius. I would have come sooner."

"Your mum doesn't know you came?" Lucy pushed him away and stood up, turning her back on him while she wiped her tears.

"I just heard. Lucy, look at me. I wasn't home, but even if I was I would have come once I heard what happened."

"So I should be glad Grandma died because it made you come to see me despite your mother? Fuck off Remus!"

"Did I say that?" Remus asked surprised, jumping to his feet. "I couldn't make it sooner."

"You've had a month to apparate to the ridge and walk twenty minutes," she said coldly. "Listen, I was wrong to meet you at the station. We had a good time over the hols, but that's it. I guess I just made it out to be more than it was. I guess I didn't think of you as a mummy's boy."

He fought not to grab her and ran his hands down the sides of his trousers to dry his sweaty palms, not knowing what to say, or how to answer. He couldn't tell her about the Ministry, he couldn't yet say aloud what they had done to him, how they had branded him, how the laws would prevent him from ever being more then the kid that lived in a ratty little farm at the top of the second ridge.

"You better go. Your mother will be looking for you," she said coldly. "You friend is waiting, and if my uncle sees that thing he is riding on the farm you'll both be walking home."

"Lucy, don't, not…"

"Leave." She pulled the door open and held it, waiting for him. "Next time you want to talk to me ask your mother first. I am sure she will send me a polite little note telling me to say clear of her baby."

"Listen to me." He stopped in front of her, waiting for her to look up at him. When she didn't, he cupped her face in his hands and brought her head up to his. "I want to see you. I do, but I won't put you at risk. You know about me, you know how dangerous it is."

"Sure," she spat, pulling her head forcibly from his hands. "So dangerous you run around with a Pettigrew and a Black but won't see me because your mum tells you I'm no good. What does she think of them? So tell me, Remus, whose side are you on?"

He stepped back as if she had slapped him, unable to comprehend where the venom he had heard in her voice came from. He looked at Sirius who sat on the bike, his face lowered to the ground, in his attempt to give them some privacy and slowly walked down the steps.

"You ready?"

"Yeah," Sirius answered, lifting his head and getting ready to jump-start the engine. "Didn't go well?"

"Remember when we took the goat?" Remus smirked as he climbed back on the bike. "I think we can walk in the front door now. You got any money?"

"Be better in the city, somewhere Muggle," Sirius grinned. "How about picking up the others? We can make a night of it, check out some new pubs."

"Sure," Remus said, looking back over his shoulder, seeing Lucy standing in the doorway, looking after him. "Just get me away from here."

.

.

"So, what do you think your mum heard?" Peter sat with his head down, his arms on the table, running his finger down the bottle of beer, watching the condensation bead up before running in small rivulets to the table. "It's not like her to get all worked up over nothing."

"He's right. Your mum must have had a good reason to think it was Lucy that turned you in." Potter leaned back, tipped his head up and drained the last swallow from his bottle.

"Not always," Sirius muttered. "Parents hear what they want."

"She's never said." Remus sat hunched over the table, his elbows resting on the table, his hands in his hair. "She just keeps saying to stay away from her. I should have just told her to fuck off."

"The Spencers are a strange group," Peter offered, looking up at each in turn. "Well, they are. That old woman was queer. Didn't say so in the paper but everyone knew it. And the old widow lady, she used to go to this Muggle church and…don't look at me like that…she did. I heard that her Parson even preached against witchcraft and stuff. Maybe Lucy slipped up and said something to her."

"They all do that idiot." Potter slapped him on the back of the head. "There's not a church out there that would like us."

"She wouldn't have, I know she didn't tell anyone." Remus leaned back, holding his full bottle loosely in his hand, keeping his eyes lowered as if examining it. "That's the strange part. I know it wasn't her, but I still stayed away from her. I should have at least…something…told her to bugger off…anything but …nothing."

"You…you must have some doubt." Sirius studied his face, saw his slight grimace and knew he had hit a sore spot.

"Yeah, I guess. It's her or one of you guys," he sighed loudly. "Only others are up at Hogwarts, and even Snape wouldn't risk breaking his word and getting kicked out. From what I hear he has less of a home to run to then you do, Sirius."

"Could be one other," Peter said in a near whisper. "That is if you believe the rumours that Greyback is in with … what's his name."

Remus brought his head up and locked eyes with Peter. "What do you think?"

"I think…yeah, it could be. Who else knows? Who else would have something to gain?"

"If he did," Potter said excitedly, "that means every one on …what's his name's side knows. Holy shite, Remus, you're fucked!"

Sirius leaned forward and whispered, "He's right, Moony. Your mum is way off here, she's got Lucy all mixed up with…"

"No, she doesn't. The Spencers are in it too. At least her uncle is." Remus stood up and started to dig in his pocket, only to look at Sirius sheepishly.

"Go on, Potter's got it," Black grinned.

"Me!?"

"Bloody hell, you are the only one with a vault. Peter here doesn't get a sickle till he turns twenty-five, Remus doesn't have one, and mine is locked tighter than a witch's knees."

"Speaking of which," James stood up and threw his money on the table, "I have a date."

"Still trying, hey Prongs?" Peter laughed standing with him.

"One of these days she is going to see my other prong, if you get my meaning," James said seriously.

Remus rolled his eyes, but couldn't help grinning. He felt Sirius' arm drape over his shoulder and together they walked to the curb where the bike waited.

"Ya know you can't take this back to school." Remus climbed on the back, waiting for Sirius.

"Hagrid is going to hide it for me."

"I don't know," Remus said with a hint of caution. "Better off at the Potter's place."

Sirius snorted a bark of laughter. "You ever spend any time with Prong's old man? Fuck, he rides it as much as I do."

"Sirius?" Remus said softly as his friend leaned to the side to gun the engine. "They branded me. Like a bloody animal."

"Fuck." Sirius turned around frowning, studying his face. "You left that part out, Moony."

"I…I needed to tell someone."

Sirius nodded and turned back to look forward, swallowing hard, he grasped the handlebars, brought up his right leg, and slammed it down, starting the engine, and roaring off into the dark.