Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: This chapter is a M. I have not done so at this time for the readers that look for it in their search engines under the T rating. So, in the future you will have to click on the M rating to find it. Sorry for any inconvenience.

His Calling

Chapter 44

Together

Remus spent whole days walking along the streets of London, enjoying the anonymity that the crowds and congested streets gave him. He felt free to lift his head and enter lifts, free to smile at girls that caught his eye and free to pretend that he was normal. He would sometimes find himself close to the Ministry and wondered what John would say knowing that he was on the pavements above, or if he and Moody had drawn the short straw, pulling clean-up duty after another attack.

On a couple of occasions, he had walked on the grounds of the University, watching the students and wondering if it were not for the war if he would even now be studying to gain admission. He had lowered to the ground in the shade of one of the many trees, pulled off his shoes and laid back, pretending for just one afternoon that he belonged.

Today, like all days, he was unable to forget what waited at home. How Rhea would question him, how he would walk by her, head for his room and wait until Sirius or Peter showed up on their brooms, hovering just outside his window. He had heard his mother's crying and John's low-soothing voice, trying to calm her, knowing she cried because of him.

Walking into Diagon alley he bought Rhea's favourite peppermint and white chocolate bark. He watched it being dropped into a plain paper sack, not even having enough for a fancy box and gift-wrap, as the last of his coins slid into the cash drawer before looking up.

"Thanks." He grinned, suddenly knowing what he would do. "I need to get to Hogsmeade. Is your floo open to the public?"

"Only to Honeydukes." The clerk waved him toward the fireplace. "Welcome to it."

"Thanks," Remus said, rushing to the floo, grabbing a handful of power and throwing it down laughing.

As soon as the flames delivered him, he all but ran out the door and up the road to The Three Broomsticks where he found Rosmerta in the kitchen surrounded by the smells of cinnamon and yeast.

"Do you live in this room?" He laughed, tossing his sack down and grabbing her shoulders, kissing her on both cheeks before releasing her.

"Well, look whose good enough to come calling." She swatted him on the shoulder. "When did you go getting so big young man?"

"Last night," he chuckled and sat down on one of the stools she kept at the kitchen counter. "I need something. I know I haven't been around this past year for work, but I could use some now."

"I see," Rosmerta narrowed her eyes and looked at him oddly. "Paying your way out of…"

"No, no trouble this time," he laughed. "You wound me. I want to take my mum and dad out for dinner and thought we could barter. It's her birthday next week and I thought we could come in for tea. She likes it here, and…listen, I need someplace she won't start yelling."

"Does this have anything to do with your…problem? Because if it does this may not be the best place to bring her."

"Well, yes and no. Ro, it's the perfect place."

Rosmerta felt her heart skip a beat as she heard Marcus's nickname for her slip from his lips, and him looking so much like his brother. She turned back to the counter, upended a bowel of raised dough and started punching it with her fist. "Upstairs hall could use a coat of paint. Make sure you finish it clear down the steps."

"Paint in the cellar?"

"Yep, right where I left it the first time you said you'd do it." She smiled hearing him start toward the cellar door. "So, Remus, I take it this is a dinner for four?"

"She's beautiful, Ro. She's the niece of old man Spencer, but you'll like her. She's smart, and funny…she can make you feel comfortable just by being around. She makes me…"

"It's not me you have to convince," she said laughing, wiping her hands on her apron and turning to look at him.

"I don't have to convince anyone." He started to the stairs, stopping in the doorway and looking back at her suddenly serious. "Would you do it again? Knowing he would die young…would you still do it?"

"You are not like him, Remus." She scowled and turned her back on him. "Yes."

"Thought so." He laughed and started back down the steps, his heels hitting the wooden risers and echoing back up to the kitchen.

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That Saturday he strode up to the Spencer house and pounded on the door, waiting for Lucy to pull back the curtain and peek at him again, instead he heard her call his name and turned to see her standing in the barn door.

"What do you want Lupin?"

"You alone?" He asked jogging across the yard and standing in front of her.

"Yes, if it is any business of yours."

"Good," he said softly. "I wanted to do this."

He reached both hands to the back of her head and pulled her mouth to his, stepping closer and standing up just enough to make her put her hands on his chest to keep her balance. Not releasing her, but moving her head back to look into her face he grinned at her expression.

"I've wasted enough time. Bloody hell, summer's almost over," he said as the breath rushed out of his lungs. "I've been an arse."

"You most certainly have." She pushed him away and studied his face, before tuning back into the barn. "I have work to do."

"What?"

"Why? Do you plan on helping?" she said flatly, keeping her eyes off him and her face turned away, hoping she was not as red as she felt.

"No, I have my wand. I plan on doing it so I can have more time to kiss you."

She grinned, shook her head and pointed to a wall full of tack gear. "Those need oiling and then I have to…umm…I have to fix Lucifer's stall."

"Lucifer?"

"The team's lead, he is a right bastard when he puts his mind to it. Kicked out the…"

"Lucy," Remus whispered, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. "Stop. I came to grovel."

"Then you'd better start before I send you packing," she spat. "If you think you can just waltz in here and…"

He again grabbed her head and brought her mouth to his, this time he felt her arms circle his neck and pull him down, and her step close, moulding her body to his as he lowered his arms and held her.

She clung to him in desperation, afraid that he would stop, at the same time afraid he would not. Releasing his neck with one hand, she repositioned it in his hair, gasping him hard, and pulled him back to her mouth as she pressed herself against him, feeling his erection through the fabric of his trousers.

"I want you," he said, and hearing his own voice, he knew it sounded like begging, and didn't care.

She pulled back her head, searching his face, and nodded her consent. "I've never done this before," she whispered.

"Neither have I," he admitted, looking into her eyes and trying to smile, only managing to look sheepish and scared. We should… we should get a potion for you first."

"My mum has…there is some in her…the bedside table."

He took her hand and led her back to the house, down the hallway, and watched as she opened the nightstand drawer in what was obviously her mother's bedroom, took out a vial and drank it.

"Come here," Remus said evenly from the doorway, delighted as she walked to him, unbuttoning her blouse as she did. He leaned down to kiss her, grabbed her hand and dragged her across the hall to her bedroom and to the small narrow bed.

"Will you turn around while I get undressed?" She bit her lip and looked down at the floor, avoiding his face.

He tore his eyes away from her open blouse, and turned his back, unbuttoning his shirt and toeing off his shoes. He started to loosen his belt then stopped, and waited to make sure she hadn't changed her mind.

"Remus? " She put her hand on his back, signalling to him that she was ready.

"You are beautiful," he rasped out, wanting to move her hair from where it lay covering her breast.

"Don't, don't say that," she again reached her arms around his neck and pulled him down to touch his lips lightly with hers, "I… I'm not."

"Yes," he murmured, his mouth falling to hers again, one hand in the middle of her back, pressing her to him. "I…I'll try not to hurt you."

He hugged her as he walked her backwards to the bed, letting the edge hit the back of her knees and forcing her to sit. Leaning over her, he kissed her as he pressed her shoulders back, forcing her to lie down. He straightened as she moved to the middle of the bed, and pushed his trousers down, hesitating as he looked away. .

Before joining her in bed, he lifted his hand and closed the curtains, darkening the room in hopes of making her more comfortable with his own nudity and taking a deep breath, he crawled to join her, pushing her legs apart as he knelt between them. Lying down over her, putting his weight on his elbows he let his erection lie on her lower stomach as he kissed her.

"Remus," she moaned. "Please…"

"Shhh," he whispered into her mouth. "I'll be careful."

He crawled down until he could kiss her breasts, gently taking a nipple in his mouth he nipped it lightly with his teeth, then grinning at her reaction he began to suck it, feeling her arch her back as the nipple became harder. Shifting his attention to her other breast, he covered the one he had already enjoyed with his hand, kneading and stroking her. His other hand snaked down to her clitoris, wanting to touch her, to feel every part of her.

He snapped his eyes to her face when he felt her stiffen and saw her eyes squeezed shut. Removing his hand, he slid back up until once again her head was between his elbows.

"I'm sorry. You need to talk to me. If you don't want me to do something… tell me. Here," he grabbed her pillow and pulled it from behind her head, "lift up your hips."

He moved back on his knees, watching the dark patch between her legs as she did, wanting to run his hand between her legs and feel her. Instead, he grabbed his erection and squeezed, fighting not to climax before he had even entered her.

"Fuck," he sighed after she had the pillow positioned, "you have no idea what you are doing to me."

"Did I do something wrong?" She rose up on her elbows to look down at him.

"No," he leaned forward, pushing her back. "It's me. We can't always… you know…wait the way girls do."

"Oh."

"Oh?" he said with a grin, putting his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his erection at her centre. "Try holding my shoulders."

She nodded and did as he asked and looked into his eyes with such trust that Remus was rendered speechless. He entered her slowly, felt a barrier and paused, studying her face as her eyes grew large, and her hands quickly moved to his chest, fingers splayed as if ready to push him away.

"It hurts," she panted. "Remus…what…"

He shoved into her hard and deep, then held still waiting for her to accept him, to not push him away, afraid that he had indeed hurt her, uncertain of what to do, only able to think about holding still and not ejaculating.

"Are you okay?" he asked fearfully, barely able to control his ragged voice.

"Yes," she gasped. "Hurry, please…. Hurry."

He lowered his head to her neck as he began to move his hips in what was the most natural movement he had ever felt. He closed his eyes and could only feel her wetness and warmth, the tightness and her skin on his, her erect nipples brushing against him each time he slide down to withdraw and again when he thrust in deeper. Without warning, he stiffened and climaxed, hearing the roar of blood in his ears. His hips jerked as his mouth sought hers and his arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her up as he rose to his knees, taking her up with him in a rush of emotion he had never felt and did not understand. He held her until he could breath evenly, then pulled her back far enough to see her face, surprised to see her face wet with tears.

"I hurt you." He pulled out of her, his hands trembling, rolling to her side, and removed the pillow, flipping it over as he tucked it back under her head. "I… I am sorry, Lucy. I didn't know I was hurting you. You should have…"

"You didn't, just ….you know, at the beginning… and a little when you…you know….when you finished."

"What's wrong then? What did I do?" He sat up, running his hand through his hair, suddenly scared that something had gone horribly wrong.

"Nothing," she sniffed, "I did it wrong."

"Wrong, Lucy…you were perfect. Outstanding as a matter of fact. Better than I imagined. Brilliant. Really, you were…"

"Stop," she craned her neck and looked back over her shoulder, tears welling in her eyes. "You imagined this?"

"You have no idea how often," he lay on his side in the narrow bed and pulled her back to his chest. "You did fine. It was me. I should have been able to go slower. But…by the time I was in you I couldn't wait. You are embarrassed. You shouldn't be. It was my fault."

"Is it always this bad the first time?"

"Ummm… Yeah, I guess. It was bad?"

"Well, it wasn't what I would call good."

Remus laughed and pulled her over to her back, kissing her soundly. "I would. I do. I will. It was wonderful. I want to do it again."

"With me?"

"Of course with you." He scowled down at her. "Who else do I love?"

"You love me?"

"Lucy, I am in bed with you. We just had sex. Of course I love you."

"You never said it."

"You never asked."

"Git."

"You know I love you. Right?"

"Yes."

"Do you… me?"

"Remus, I am in bed with you. We just had sex. Of course I love you," she said flatly, repeating his words.

"Thought so," he grinned. "So, you want to shower or … we could…umm."

"Yeah, I want to umm."

"I thought so," he said, kissing her softly, then laying down his head and spooning into her again. "Let me rest up just a few minutes."

He kissed her shoulder and hugged her, moving his hips back to keep the semen that still dripped from touching her, wondering how to politely clean himself without offending her. Unsure if it was right to offer to clean her as well, he moved his top hand over her hips and silently mouthed the incantation before turning his hand to his own problem.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Shhh," he hushed her, relieved she did not act embarrassed at what he had done. "Are you okay now?"

She nodded and hugged his arms that encircled her, tears slowly slipping from the corner of her eyes to fall onto the pillow. "I don't know why I am crying. I'm sorry. I just…I can't stop."

"Shhh, its okay. A lot has happened and now this. I should have waited."

She shook her head and sighed deeply. "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone."

"I don't plan on running off. Lucy, look at me, turn around." He waited until she had wiggled around to face him. "I didn't do this just because you were wiling or I was…you know. I wanted to do this before. I just didn't know how to ask you. Don't think I don't love you, or that…"

She placed her hand over his mouth. "I know, Remus, I know. I thought after what your mum said you would hate me."

"Why should I?" he said stiffly, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, turning his back to her.

"She thinks I gave you up to the Ministry. Isn't that what she told you?"

"Not exactly, she hasn't come right out and said it."

"Oh, well… yeah she did. She accused me of it and said that no one else would have done it… that since I had only known you for such a short time it..."

"Forget her," Remus sat sideways and frowned down at her.

"Listen to me, Remus," she said, having clutched the sheet to her breasts when she sat up to join him. "I had only been back a couple of days when she accused me. It hurt. It hurt like bloody hell. But, I've been thinking. Maybe she is right about my being bad for you. Whatever happened here…whoever it was that turned you in…I don't want them to know you. I don't have anyone one else left that I trust or …I don't want to put you at risk. If my uncle finds out…shite, I don't even trust my mum anymore. She has started going to the meetings with him."

"You are worried about putting me at risk." He grinned. "This here werewolf has already been found out. I don't think my being seen with a squib is going to hurt my reputation any more than it already is. Now, we better get dressed before your uncle has my arse."

She nodded and quickly scrambled out of bed, waiting until he turned around before putting her clothes on.

"Umm, Lucy," he smirked, peeking over his shoulder. "I've seen it already."

"Pratt."

"No, wolf," he grinned.

"I need to get into town," she gasped, snapping her head up to his, her eyes full of fear. "I have to replace that potion."

"I'll take care of it," he said softly, tracing her lips with the pad of his thumb. "I won't let anything happen. I told you that."

"You would do that?"

"It's for me as much as you," he admitted, colouring slightly. "Anyway, we will be in Hogsmeade tonight anyway."

"Don't you dare buy it there," she hissed. "Everyone will know. They find out and you…"

"Okay," he nodded, swallowed hard and began thinking furiously where he could get hold of a contraceptive potion without the Ministry finding out. "Fuck."

"I have a doctor in the city," she said hopefully. "I can get the pill."

"Lucy, I …you'll have to." He avoided her eyes as he pulled his jumper back on. "Sorry, I should have thought this out better."

"Is it because of your…your…what the hell do I call it?"

"The guys call it my furry little problem." He grinned and yanked her into his chest. "Now it's your problem too. If we get caught …if they find out about us…they…it …"

"They will take you to a vet? I've read the laws, Remus. I shouldn't have let you do this."

"I wanted to. I still want to." He sighed into the top of her head, already feeling the stirrings in his trousers. "We just have to be careful."

"What about your mum? Do you plan on telling her we are seeing each other?"

"Oh, about that, we are having dinner."

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