Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 46

Goodbyes

John was sitting at the kitchen table with a day old paper and a cold cup of tea when Remus came in. He called out to him and demanded that Remus join him, before heading upstairs. After quizzing him on his whereabouts, John looked at the clock and raised his eyebrow. Remus took a butterbeer from the fridge and sat down across from John, scowling at him.

"Since when do I have to account for my time? You haven't done this for over a year. "

"Since Greyback was seen over at the Spencers. Sit down, Remus, Lucy wasn't there. She's quite safe at the moment."

"So now we know for sure," Remus snorted a laugh. "You could have said something at dinner."

"I can't tell your mother. I don't want her any more worried than she already is."

"I know. So, we are moving again?"

"Won't do much good. The Ministry knows where you live and after you've finished school you will be licensed."

"That long, eh? Damned, the Headmaster outdid himself this time. Thought for sure it would be before I headed back. Fuck, I didn't think I would be heading back at all."

"Watch your mouth. Your mother puts up with it but I don't care how big you think you are. You live in this house, you go by our rules. As for the Headmaster he is fighting to keep the Muggle-born as well, so don't think you are alone in this."

"Sorry. I can't take much more," Remus leaned over the table, resting on his arms. "Everywhere I go I look over my shoulder. Shite, Dad, it's not just he-who-must-not-be-named, it's the Ministry, the guy down at Honeydukes that may pick up on what I am, the people I pass on the pavement. Sirius said the Potters are going into hiding, and his brother is joining up with…with him. So, we go into the Muggle world. At least while I am there no one is looking over my shoulder all the time. We lost track of time is all."

"What 'bout Lucy?" John kept his eyes on the tabletop, his hands playing with his teacup.

"I don't have to hide who I am with her. I don't have to pretend."

"Was she with you?"

"No," Remus shrugged and looked up to study John's face.

"You need to understand, Remus. If she really cares for you, if you…"

"Don't, Dad, don't. "

"So, I take it she is more than a girlfriend."

"I want her to be. I know now's not a good time, but next year if I get to finish school we …"

"You can what?" John spat. "God damn it, Remus! Haven't your learned anything? What do you think that was down at the Ministry? Some kind of joke? Do you think they have different laws for you with squibs than they do for…? "

"I know!" Remus stood up angrily. "Do you think I don't know what…?"

"Then don't drag her into it any more than she already is. Maybe when this whole thing is over things will change around here. Albus is doing everything he can and others are joining in, listening to him. Give it time, Remus. Slow down and give it time. If you two are meant to be together she will wait for you."

"I don't want to slow down. I don't want her to wait. I want to have a life now. I'm the one that always says no to everything. Unless I'm with one of the guys, I sit here…or up in my room at Hogwarts. I have one year, Dad, one year before they haul me in and licence me for good this time. Do you know what that feels like?"

"I can't pretend that I do. But I do know people have given you more than I would have thought possible. Your mum, the guys, now you expect Lucy to give up her life. There was another raid, up near Great Hangleton last night. It's getting worse, Remus, now is not the time to go running off by yourself."

"Dad, eight people in this whole fucking world have accepted me. Nine, but Snape isn't exactly what I would call accepting," he whispered, swiping his arm across his eyes. "I don't even try to make friends with the rest. I spend my time alone or in the library for fear someone will catch on and then where will I be. That's kind of stupid now."

"The Mediwitch, McGonagall, the Headmaster, and your friends down here, add in that Snape kid, that makes eight."

"Lily, Lily Evans," he said with a deep sigh. "She's with Potter, well…sort of off and on, but more on now that he's not so much of an arse all the time. She is, or was, a friend of Snape's, so I guess if Potter hadn't told her Snape would have."

"Can you trust her?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's not like I had any choice in the matter. What difference does it make? If the Ministry knows, everyone will know."

"Not yet, leave it to Albus. He is doing everything he can to stall them off another year. Seems he is demanding they have some proof that you were bitten, same way he is making them prove none of the Muggle born don't have wizard blood."

"Proof? They saw my shoulder. They know."

"According to Hagrid that bite could have been from just about anything in the forest," John frowned. "Give it time, Remus. Give yourself and Lucy this year to figure out if you two should continue. All I am asking is that you wait before you say anything to her about the future. She's suppose to go back to Germany at the end of the summer. Let her go."

"I don't want to," Remus admitted keeping his eyes on the tabletop.

"I know," John said, laying his hand over Remus'. "She isn't safe here, son, and if you don't send her away she will be killed. I can't say for sure, but something is going on over at the Spencer farm. She's not in danger, not yet, but if we are right she needs to leave."

.

.

Remus met Lucy the next day on the ridge. He sat on the ground with her head in his lap looking up at him, as he laid out his plans for the rest of the summer, and how he had to agree with John, and wanted her to return to Germany with her mother. Putting his fingers over her lips he stilled her protests, he begged her to do as he asked, threatening not to see her again if she didn't.

She sat up, and putting her back to him, wrapped her arms around her legs. "I thought you said you loved me. So was that all an act?"

"You know better," he said miserably. "Just until…Lucy, once I am out of school we can…I'll be able to make plans. Until then, who knows what will happen?"

"I've been accepted to the University in Munich."

"So, you were planning to go anyway? You never said anything."

"I was, but since…now I want to stay in England."

"Which Uni?"

"The Ludwig-Maximillians," she shrugged.

"Merlin," he snorted a laugh. "I'm in love with a genius."

"No, just bored and nothing to do but read and study. You don't know what it's like out there, living with the Muggles. It moves so fast, everyone's in such a hurry. I hate it. I just hate it."

"Your place is it in the city?"

"No, south of Bad Tolz, we are in the mountains, but Mum and I spend at least two weeks a month in town. She gets bored with just the two of us."

"Switzerland?"

She turned and studied his face. "I know. I said…I didn't lie, not really. I never go into the Swiss cities, and we are closer to the German…"

"It's okay." He put his finger over her mouth, stilling her. "She is hiding from your uncle as well?"

"Yeah, she never trusted him. That's what I don't get, that she seems to believe all his shite about blood purity and hangs on to his every word. She goes out with him all the time now but she never talks about it."

"You're pure blood," he sighed. "Maybe she thinks that if they get rid of the Muggle born there will be more places for you. Now, tell me about this school of yours.''

"I'll have to stay in the city. In Munich. It's so far, Remus," she pleaded, "I won't get to see you."

"I won't be here anyway, so don't use me as an excuse. Ludwig-Maxillians, that is quite good. I don't know much about Muggle schools but even I have heard of that one."

"You will write?"

He pulled her close and nodded into her hair. "You will be so busy you won't even miss me."

"I have to go," she said, pulling away from him and standing up. "I have my appointment in the morning. I have to get up early if I'm going to make it to the train station."

"I'm coming," he said firmly, suddenly deciding that he would not let her go alone. "I'll take you. After, we can make a day of it. I'll pack a lunch and we can find…"

"My treat" she said, grinning at him. "After all, I owe you for that wonderful dinner we almost ate."

"I can't let you pay for…"

"The train would cost me more. Remember me? The squib? You don't think I was going to walk or take the team now did you?"

.

.

The next morning Remus woke early, nervously looking forward to the day. Although he looked forward to spending time with Lucy and the day in Manchester, he was ill at ease taking her to her appointment. Once she made it clear that he was not to come inside with her, and pointed him to a small café where he could have a cup of tea while he waited, he did not hesitate to take her up on her offer. He took a table close to the window, turning his back to the other customers, hiding his eyes.

He saw her walking toward the café sooner than what he had expected and ordered her a cup of tea before she had reached the table.

"Told you it would only take a few minutes," she grinned.

"Are you okay?"

"Git, they don't do anything, not even a real exam. They just asked me some questions. Easy, really."

"So, now we can…" he muttered looking over his shoulder.

"Yes." She laughed. "They said it takes a month before it is absolutely …"

"Fuck," Remus said, running his hand through his hair. "Umm, yeah…sorry."

"So…." she said, rolling her eyes, "they gave me something else to use in the meantime."

Remus squirmed uncomfortably, trying to readjust his position. "Drink your tea, I want to take a look at the museum before lunch."

"Yeah, and there is a used book store that has some great things. We could stop in."

Later as they took tea at The Salutation and Lucy paid the bill, she came back and took him by the hand, but instead of leading him outside took him to the narrow staircase at the back of the pub. He followed her, watching the sway of her hips and the glorious length of her legs as she walked up ahead of him.

Later, as they lay in bed, he lowered himself over her, resting his weight on his arms, feeling the feathering touch of her hands on his back, as he smelled her arousal and heard her soft sounds, urging him on as he lost himself. He couldn't wait for her as he had wanted, couldn't go slowly, or try to be gentle. He thrust into her, feeling her nails dig into his back, and heard her incoherent cries. Not until he felt her tighten, and cry out his name was he able to lock his eyes on her face. Her eyes were open; her face contorted in the most beautiful expression of want and need. He crushed his mouth to hers, felt the spasms of her orgasm and emptied into her.

"Gods," he panted into her neck. "I wanted to make it last longer. Did it hurt this time?"

"Hurt? You bloody fool," she said, trying to smile. "No, don't move. Not yet."

"I love you," he said, kissing her eyelids, tasting her tears, and settling back over her. "What's wrong?"

"I am leaving, and you will find someone else once you're back at school."

"I can't find what I never look for. Do you think I don't love you? That I just want you because you are wiling to let me do this?" He rolled off her and onto his back, pulling her to his shoulder.

"No, but everyone seems against us. Even your friends."

"That's not true. Sirius even offered to do this for me," he said, starting to laugh.

"Shut up," she grinned. "I don't like that other one, Peter. He…he gives me the creeps."

"Peter?" he asked incredulously, raising his head off the pillow to look at her face. "He's harmless."

"Maybe, but when he talks to me…it's not right."

"He has a hard time talking to girls," Remus sighed. "What about Potter?"

"I don't know, I've only seen him once." She squirmed around until she was on her stomach, resting on her elbows. "I have to leave this weekend if I am going to Uni."

"Then this will be the last time we can do this," he frowned, tracing her mouth with the pad of his thumb.

"Maybe we can meet tomorrow night?"

"You forget what I am." He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "The night after tomorrow is the full moon."

"But, not tomorrow."

"No, but the night before and the night after I…I could hurt you," he said softly. "My strength is almost doubled, I can…no, Lucy, it wouldn't be safe."

"You wouldn't hurt me."

He turned and looked at her, seeing how open and trusting she was. "I said no. I don't even go out with the guys the night before anymore. Do you think I would be with you? Like this? If we are going to do this, we do it my way or it stops today. Do you understand?"

She nodded and rolled over onto her back grinning. "Then come here. If I can't see you tomorrow you are not getting away this easily."

.

.

He did not see Lucy before she left, her mother had decided to go back early, and had gone the night of the full moon. Remus didn't know if it was coincidence, or her way of sending a signal that she knew they had grown too close. The only contact he had was a snowy owl that had perched on his windowsill, demanding a treat and holding up its leg while he removed the missive.

He read the short, almost polite, note, thinking it was as if it had been written while Lucy's mother watched over her shoulder. Tossing it on top of his night table he began packing his own trunk, already counting the days before he would see her again. Neatly stacking his books and shoes on the bottom, he levitated his pressed and folded robes, setting them on top.

"Remus? Here, you will need these come the holidays." Rhea stood behind him holding a brown tweed jacket and a pair of brown trousers. "You can't very well go to Munich without something besides jeans and tees."

He held out his hands and accepted the clothing, watching her face. "Thanks."

"I can't stop you from going. But I plan on stopping you from standing out."

"Umm, Mum, these may just make me stick out more," he said, trying to grin.

"Here they will, but I think you will find they'll disguise you better in Germany. They will make you look…older, not so…British, if you stay out of the cities and larger villages. Stick to the wizard areas, at least promise me you'll try."

"I'll try." He set down the clothes and stood up to face her. "Mum, you know this may be the last time I can come home."

"You can at least stop in at the holidays. I am sure Lucy can share you for a day or two."

"You know what I mean, Mum. Once I am licensed you can't keep me here."

"What they don't know…"

"But they will know," he said softly, putting his arms around her. "And I won't do that to you."

"You will need to have a place each month. You can register the barn. At least that way I can see you."

"I am going to write to Dr. Gramm, about that potion he told us about. It's been a few years. If it's approved I can try it."

"John said I'm not to go to the station with you," she said quietly, kneeling down to rearrange his trunk. "The Order doesn't even trust the Ministry to do it any more."

"Have they figured out who it is?"

"Not really, they have a list of names…but they aren't sure. Yaxley is on it, and even Crouch."

"And me," he said softly, pulling her up by her elbow. "Tell John it's okay. I know they have him on the list as well. Maybe once I leave it will get better."

"Oh my gods, Remus," she flung her arms around his neck and cried. "Your father…Anthony would be so very proud of you."

"I barely remember him. I remember what he said, and stuff like that…but not his face…not him."

"Oh, Remus," she pulled back and laid her hand on his cheek. "Just look in a mirror. You never saw him as a young man, and wouldn't remember Marcus as all…but the three of you could be brothers you look so much alike."

"Mum, I'll be okay."

"I know you will," she whispered.

He turned his head, kissing her palm, then pulled his wand to levitate his trunk behind him, and started for the Hogwarts Express.