Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 47

Asking to Join

Remus stood on the platform, wanting to wait until the last possible moment before joining his roommates in their compartment. Knowing Lucy was not even in the country, he had still hoped to see her while at the same time feeing foolish looking for her.

Barely able to conceal his smirk, he watched the little first years excitably pushing and shoving to get on the train, while their parents stood back tearfully watching. He turned away from John, who had warned him not to acknowledge his presence, trying to ignore the rest of the Order that was here to protect the students. Although John's superiors had heard the rumours about Remus, from the Dangerous Creature division, John had lied, and told them that his stepson no longer lived at home, but at some unknown place in London. Unable to say more in way of goodbye, and having been warned not to talk to anyone he knew to be in the Order, he was surprised when Moody walked over to start up a conversation.

"So Grams, how's that leg doing?" He smirked at the surprise on Moody's face.

"Ain't heard that one for a while now," the grizzled wizard smirked. "I see Malfoy is in prime form."

Remus glanced to the front of the platform where Lucius stood, seeing the youngest Malfoy leaning against the wall, arrogantly watching the returning students, and talking to some of the seventh years.

"Son of a bitch looks like he's holding court," Moody muttered, then turned his head and spat on the platform. "That Black with him?"

"Regulus, Sirius' younger brother, yeah. The one to his left is Mulciber and the other is Wilkes. I'm not sure about the one in the cape…I think he was a year behind Malfoy, a Ravenclaw."

"That Snape kid was with them just a minute ago."

"I don't get that one. Why would they be recruiting a half-blood? I thought all this crap was about blood purity."

"Nope, about power pure and simple. He'll do away with the whole lot when he don't need them no more," Moody stood glaring at the group on the platform, as if daring them to do or say something. "Just like Greyback. That Lord of theirs will use him up then eat him for dinner. You mark my words."

"Couldn't happen to a better werewolf," Remus grinned. "At least there is hope."

"He wants the Malfoy money, and that Mulciber, bet his old man is behind some of those new spells he keeps using. You stay low this year, you hear? Promised Meda I would warn off that nephew of hers and I'm doing the same to you. Things are heating up."

"You take care, Grams," Remus laughed and hoisted his backpack over his shoulder. "Will I see you in the hols?"

"Always do." Moody nodded then laid his hand on Remus' shoulder and leaned down, looking around as he whispered in his ear. "Stay vigilant, lad, and if you see that pretty little thing you tell her not all is as it seems."

"Sure," Remus stammered. "About what?"

"Run on now, don't want to be left behind." Moody turned and limped away, leaving Remus confused and looking after him.

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After the Sorting Ceremony, Remus and the guys headed up to the Astronomy Tower and sprawled out on the floor as they had at the beginning of each term. This year they were quiet, sombre and not in the mood to joke and poke fun at the new first years or brag about what they planned to do in the summer months. They sat, unusually quiet, as if the time spent on the train had left them without anything to say.

Sirius mentioned again that he was disappointed Hagrid would not hide his bike, and James smirked and told them it was down at The Three Broomsticks under a tarp under the watchful and stern watch of Rosmerta. Admitting that he would at least enjoy a weekly visit to check on it as long as he got to look at the witch, Sirius stretched out on his side and tipped up his head as he once again went on about Rosmerta's attributes. Remus was quiet, not joining in the conversation, as he watched Peter fidgeting and avoiding everyone's eyes, shrugging and deflecting direct questions.

James sighed , pulled his legs up, and started talking, hesitantly at first, just saying his Dad was worried about the way things were going, that he hadn't wanted to let the boys come back to school, and it was only with his mother's constant nagging that he had relented. Then in rush he spilled out the fact that his mother seemed despondent and that his dad was not himself, trapped in a house that made him feel like a prisoner.

His father was never without his wand. It lay by his plate when they ate and it was tucked under his pillow at night even as his wife took guard. James admitted that he was worried about what the current situation was doing to them, telling how they stayed up late into the night to keep watch, how they had aged , as if the worry hanging over their heads was more than they could take.

"Mum had a Healer look at Dad, said it's partly Dad's age," he said quietly, drawing squiggles on the floor with the tip of his wand. "He's in his ninety's, but that's not old for a Potter. His dad lived to over a hundred and sixty."

"Sorry, James," Remus said, trying to remember how he had felt when he heard his own dad had died and couldn't put what had happened to him in the same frame of reference as Mr. Potter.

Potter nodded and cast a glance at Sirius who clenched his jaw, unable to say more. Unable to tell about the hovel that the family now lived in, the darkened rooms, the owls that brought threats even with the house warded and unplottable. He knew the problem was more than what the Potters claimed, more than the death of a distance relative. They were hiding him, sheltering him from his family's wrath and refusing to give in.

"Mum's not doing well. The Healer said it's because of Dad and all. She'll be okay when all this is over."He shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the floor. "She cries all the time and Dad…he just sits in his chair all day reading that and checking the wards. He's been like that since Dorea died. I don't know…he never said anything about her…even when she died he didn't seem to care about her, only what could happen to us."

"Bloody hell," Sirius sighed. "Here we go."

James snapped his head up and glared at Sirius wanting to talk, to get out the tightness that tried to strangle him every time he thought of what was happening and what was going to happen. He wanted to talk about his mother's dog, found dead on the back steps. He wanted to talk about his father's refusal to call in the Order, or to seek help from the Ministry because he no longer knew who to trust.

"His Dad 's on the Great Fuckers list because of something he said to Dorea years ago. The threat was to him," Peter added.

"I should have stayed home," James muttered, shooting Sirius a look. "We both should have stayed."

McGonagall's voice cut the conversation short as she called up the steps and told them it was time for lights out. Standing as Peter complained about their failure to bring the map, they stood to go down as Remus pulled Sirius aside.

"What's with Peter?"

"Bloody hell, he's crazy. He tried to talk to that Marlene witch, the one we saw over at the Hog's Head, into going out with him and when she turned him down, he started following her around. She told Potter to call him off or she was going to report him."

"Idiot, I told you he moves too fast, and what the fuck was he tailing her for?"

"It gets better," Sirius frowned heading down the stairs, talking over his shoulder. "Potter owls him and Wormtail gets all bent out of shape and tells Lily it was Prongs that was after Marlene."

"Fuck," Remus sighed. "He spends five years chasing her skirt then Pettigrew screws it?"

"Good thing Lily didn't believe him, but old Prongs was in a right foul mood until Lily's owl came and calmed him down."

"Sirius," Remus grabbed his elbow and held him back, "what do you know about the Order?"

"Like what? Nothing more than you. You could ask John."

"He's not in it…something happened. Remember when they attacked the farm? The Headmaster won't have him now," Remus whispered. "I want to join. Bloody hell, we are old enough, and if Greyback wants me…I may be able to get some information or at least find out who else is involved."

"You're a fucking idiot," Sirius smirked. "Just don't talk to Moody, he'll just tell us to lay low and be vigilant. We could talk to Longbottom, he'd know."

"Got the same talk, hey?" Remus grinned.

"Frank's marrying that Prewett chick…the one finished up here last year."

"Alice? He must be old enough to…"

"Nah, he joined up when he was seventeen, he's not all that much older than us, about…what, five years? And if he could join what do we have to worry about?"

"The Headmaster."

"Yeah, you got a point," Sirius said flatly and draped his arm around Remus' shoulders as they continued down the steps. "We'll just have to impress him with our serious and studious natures this year."

"Yeah, that'll work," Remus rolled his eyes. "I just missed giving the firsties their little welcoming speech. How am I doing so far?"

"Not well, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall said looking up the stairs at them. "Not only did you not report to the infirmary this evening, you shirked your house responsibilities as well."

"Sorry," Remus muttered, stopping as Sirius hurried on, flicking his middle finger behind the professors back before running off.

"Sorry is not a resolution, Mr. Lupin. The Headmaster is waiting for you."

"Yes, Professor," he sighed, following her as she turned and headed down the hallway. "I had to talk to the guys."

"Mr. Lupin. You had all day… to talk to the guys, as you so inelegantly put it. Did you not come on the train with them?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," he muttered, following behind her with his hands shoved in his pockets. He passed her as she stepped aside pointing to the circular staircase and watching to make sure he stepped onto it before turning and walking away.

"Mr. Lupin, do come in. I am glad Professor McGonagall was able to locate you so quickly." Albus stood peering into one of his many display cases, watching sand running up in his hourglass.

"Sorry, Headmaster." Remus sat at the desk, sitting on the edge of the chair uncomfortably. Remus sat and waited for the Headmaster to talk, knowing that part of the old man's method of intimidation was to have him sit and think about what he had done wrong before broaching the subject.

"Consider yourself on detention this week. You will take patrol from nine to midnight in Mr. Wilkes' stead." Albus said after several minutes.

"Since when do we have patrol?" Remus grinned, thinking the Headmaster had made this up to give him an easy punishment.

"If you had been accessible earlier when I had this conversation with the rest of the Heads and Prefects I would not be repeating myself at this time." Albus turned his head just enough to level Remus with a look that told him he was not pleased. "The first thing I will ask, no…demand of you, is that you give your attention to your position. The younger students need to be able to find you more quickly if there is trouble. I expect you to be there for them. I also will post a schedule for patrols. You are to do nothing but watch, and report anything unusual to me at once. I trust you can send a Patronus?"

"Yes," Remus admitted. "Do you think He-Who-Must-not-Be-Named cares about what we do here?"

"He cares, Mr. Lupin, to send a signal to the parents of our Muggle- born that this is no place for them. He also will have the perfect venue for teaching his vile hatred and prejudices if he controls Hogwarts. What easier way to rid our world of those different to ourselves than to teach the children to hate."

"It's a lot like that now," Remus snorted a laugh. "It doesn't take being taught in school to hate, we have enough to go around already."

"I am sorry you only see the hatred my lad," Albus sighed heavily.

"I want to help, and not just here at Hogwarts. I want to join the Order," Remus said quietly. "I've been thinking about it all summer and I think I am ready. I could learn...and you know yourself my skill in duelling."

Albus turned from the display case and studied Remus' face. "While you are a student here that is quite impossible."

"Then I'll quit," Remus said evenly, shrugging his shoulders. "What good is an education to me anyway? It's not going to get me a job one way or the other; nothing's going to change…not for me. I guess either way I won't belong here. At least with him gone…Headmaster, I deserve a chance to fight Greyback."

"Mr. Lupin, it was my understanding when you left the Ministry last spring, that one of your concerns as to the licensing procedures was that it would force you to leave us. Now, you are willing to quit your studies?"

"If that is what it takes."

"You disappoint me," Albus admitted as he walked to his desk, indicating that Remus stay seated. "I thought you understood that successfully completing your time here could open the doors to others."

Remus saw the disappointment evident on the Headmaster's face, pushing the momentary feeling of guilt away as he clenched his teeth together in anger.

"If he wins, who will be left? Who will be left that I've helped? Everyone like me, everyone not accepted by his new order of things will be dead." Remus sat on the edge of the chair, his arms resting on his arms as he kept his eyes lowered. "Greyback is with him. I am sure of it, and if he is, then that bastard he calls Lord knows about me. He won't hurt me. Not yet anyway. I hear he is collecting creatures like me to fight for him."

"When Mr. Spencer brought his Muggle wife to live with them, they purchased a piece of land, not far from where your parents now live," Albus held up his hand to silence Remus, "it is said that his wife planned on leaving him as she was unable to handle such a …solitary existence. Once she filed for divorce and left, returning to the Muggle world, he became a hard man. A man who has put his favour on the dark side. Curiously enough, I have never heard of his wife again. Martha, I believe her name was."

"He killed her?"

"I am sure he did not, just as I am sure that he orchestrated her demise."

"And his brother?" Remus thought of Lucy's father who had hidden his family even before the more recent attacks on squibs and their families.

"How exactly did you plan on helping the Order?"

"And his brother, I asked," Remus frowned.

"His brother and the rest of his family."

"Except his sister-in-law that is now…no…she's not with him," Remus leaned back in his chair and levelled his eyes at Albus. "She is working with you."

"Not all is at it appears," Albus smiled. "Your Lucy is quite safe."

"Until her mother is found out."

"At which time arrangements will be made for her." Albus smiled and offered Remus a lemon drop. "I trust you have spoken to her about travelling alone in Knockturn?"

Remus' hand stopped midair, as he was reaching for a sweet, he snapped his face up to Albus' blue eyes. "How could she travel there?" He schooled his face and lied easily, remembering her confession about buying the potion there.

"I am sure she enters through the Leaky Cauldron. An old friend of mine, a Mundungus Fletcher, who is one of the Order you have not yet met , was on duty that day. It seems your friend visited a rather unsavoury establishment."

Remus shrugged and leaned back in the chair, "I'll mention it to her if I see her again."

Remus walked back to his room thinking about what the Headmaster had told him, feeling relived that Lucy was safe, but annoyed that Albus doubted her and had her followed. He did not believe for a minute it was only to keep her safe. If asked, he would not have been able to say why he had lied about the true extent of his involvement with Lucy, he just knew that if it was found out she could be in danger.

Many things changed that year, the most obvious being the prohibition of the Daily Prophet. The Headmaster had made the decision as day after day more news came to them about the outside world and the death and destruction that was being wrought. On occasion, he would walk down the aisles between the tables, lay his hand on a student's shoulder and then lean down and whisper in their ear. Remus watched, and like every other student, was silently grateful it was someone else under the Headmaster's fatherly embrace, being led out of the Great Hall.

"Fuck," Sirius said one day, as the Headmaster took out a first year. "That's Gwenog Jones, Hestia's cousin."

"She didn't come back this year," James muttered, looking down the table to where Lily sat and saw her swipe tears from her eyes. "She's worried about her family."

"She should be," Peter said grimly. "It would be safer for her to leave until this is over."

James nodded and stood up, swung his leg over the bench and went to sit with Lily. Remus, Sirius and Peter left the Great Hall, walking up to the Astronomy Tower and not going to class. By lunchtime, the Headmaster had cancelled classes and told the students to study quietly on their own. At dinner as they assembled in the Great Hall he announced that the holiday break would be a week longer this year, and that all Muggle born students should carefully consider their actions before returning home, welcoming them to spend the hols in the castle.

Remus thought of Lily, and briefly thought that it would be better if she went home, not returning at all. Then, he thought of Lucy and knew this holiday travelling would only draw attention to whom he visited. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he started towards the owlery needing to tell Lucy he could not come, and to tell his mother that he would be staying at Hogwarts as well.