AN: Thank you for reviews… I found this chapter hard to write – the drama! We are back to the date. I am hoping now that the writing will come much more smoothly. And thanks for the tip about the pizza! Yosh! They do have it ;p

Chapter 16

Kakashi froze, not quite sure he believed what his ears were hearing. Gai's intense gaze implied that he had heard correctly. He processed the question slowly, his shinobi reactions seemingly numb.

Did he return Gai's feelings?

How could he? He was a man- Gai was a man! Men didn't go around declaring their love for one another like it was a scene from Icha Icha. Sure, they made such proposals to women… but Kakashi was certainly not a woman. He was sure that if Gai thought about it some more he would realise Kakashi wasn't the sort of person any sane person would fall in love with… but then Gai wasn't really sane to begin with.

Stupid, stubborn, jumpsuit wearing buffoon waltzing into his life and ruining his calm. He never should have accepted all those bloody challenges.

What a fool he had been! What a fool Gai was!

It was all utterly incomprehensible!

Ridiculous!

But then again it was all quite… romantic. And if – IF - Kakashi swung that way (which he definitely did not!), he would have felt flattered… but he didn't. In fact he didn't really want to date a woman either. Kakashi just wanted to be left alone. He was fine alone, always had been. When it came down to it, it wasn't so much of an issue with Gai being a man, for if he had been a woman he would be reacting very nearly the same way. It was an issue with himself, not his suitor. And of all the possible people who could have confessed to him, Gai had to be the one with the biggest heart, despite all his other quirks.

Kakashi didn't know why his friends had always made such a damn fuss about his whole lone wolf thing when he was in ANBU- especially Gai. Gai had always been there, encroaching on his free time, forcing him to eat meals and 'take care of himself', to socialise, to clean his apartment… in fact he couldn't really remember a time when Gai wasn't there.

Which made this situation even worse. He had come to value Gai's friendship, and he really didn't want to lose that. If he was truly honest with himself; Kakashi had come to depend on Gai's friendship and presence in his life.

Why did Gai have to have feelings for him? Why couldn't he keep his distance from the copy nin's heart, like everyone else?

The truth was… Kakashi was scared. Terrified. He rarely ever confronted his feelings. What if he lost Gai's friendship? What if he consented and then Gai realised his mistake and asked to be friends again? Kakashi didn't know if he could take such a humiliation.

What if he fell for Gai, and then Gai died on a mission, just like the others he had loved? One of the reasons Kakashi tried to keep strong boundaries in their friendship was because he was afraid to let him in, only to lose him again. It was for his friend's own good.

After all, everyone Kakashi had loved so far had died. His mother, his father, Obito, Rin, sensei… Sasuke had abandoned the village when he had finally opened his cold heart to team seven… Naruto had left with a better sensei not long after…

No. He wouldn't put himself through such pain again… his heart couldn't take it.

He had to get out of there.

He couldn't think.

He couldn't breathe.

Suddenly, both of Kakashi's hands slammed on the table as he stood. "Thank you for the meal Gai. I have to go."

"Go?!" came four shrill cries from outside, which briefly diverted Kakashi's attention. Before he could ponder them anymore, Gai's sharp voice drew him back to his current predicament.

"Kakashi!" Gai was moving to stand too.

"No, don't go hungry on my account, please eat you delicious food! It was great, thank you. But I have to go, I have to speak with some people."

"Kakashi, please, you don't have to answer me know, just don't run away like that. Or I'll be afraid it's for good…"

Kakashi forced a smile, but even with the mask Gai could tell when they were fake. "We're eternal rivals remember?"

Gai had his hand out, about to grab his friend's arm, when he heard those words. That's right, they had an eternal bond. Gai understood Kakashi. And because of that Gai couldn't push him right now. The copy nin had a fight or flee reflex when it came to his own feelings. He was just panicking, he hoped.

So Gai what he thought was right, even though it almost broke his heart: he let Kakashi go.

Kakashi ran. He didn't stop running until he was in front of a familiar and comforting sight. He needed to think, to talk. To be alone, yet with those who understood him most.

He knelt in front of the memorial stone and touched the names of the ones he had lost.

Kakashi sighed.

"Guys… I'm such a fucking idiot."