'How can you be so calm?'

'Honey, relax. Doctor Werner isn't the bogeyman.'

Esposito jiggled his foot nervously. He'd begged, bargained and pleaded with Beckett for this time off, and he was ready to lose his mind with the waiting while Meredeth calmly paged through the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. Finally, the doctor's office door opened and a short, pot-bellied man with a hooked nose and a thatch of onyx hair popped his head out with a patient smile.

'Miss Coleman?'

'Yes.' Meredeth set aside her magazine, patted Esposito's knee before they went in the office. 'Good to meet you, sir.'

'Likewise. My daughters all read your books,' he greeted her warmly before shaking Esposito's hand. 'And you must be the detective boyfriend.'

'Javier Esposito.'

'Yes, Meredeth mentioned you would be coming for this first session. Please have a seat.' Werner gestured to a squishy leather couch while he took his place in one of the wing-back chairs. On the glossy coffee table in between them sat Meredeth's medical files, the thickness of which made Esposito concerned. 'I've spent the morning reviewing your case history and I must say, I'm surprised you've waited as long as you have to try this method of treatment.'

'Well, I honestly just had no reason to do it.' Meredeth took Esposito's hand as much to reassure herself as him. 'They became so infrequent that medication wasn't possible, but after finding myself in a relationship where I don't sleep alone so much anymore, there's finally a motive.'

'I understand completely. After I met my wife, I suddenly wanted to get that nasty snoring habit of mine taken care of.'

'So what's going to happen, exactly?' Esposito asked, leaning forward, his cop's senses wanting to yank the file off the table and read through exactly what this guy had written about Meredeth. It wasn't that he didn't trust psychiatrists; he'd seen the department counselor after his old partner had faked his own death. But it was different when it was your girlfriend you promised to protect.

'We'll begin with a series of control questions to establish a base line of comfort, as well as what is called the safe zone, a mental environment that is a place of empowerment for Meredeth to take control of the situation rather than being controlled.'

'Will she be more vulnerable to having an episode after doing this session?'

'Yes, but there are no guarantees that will happen tonight, or at all.' Werner smiled at the young man's edgy tone. He'd dealt with more than his fare share of significant others in his twenty-seven years in the field. 'I understand you want to be present for this session. Provided that Meredeth has no problem with it, I will not oppose it and make a note in her file that this request was made by you. APA procedures and state law, you understand. Meredeth, if you could have a seat in this chair beside me, we'll begin.'

Meredeth nodded, left her purse on the couch beside Esposito, gave his cheek a kiss. 'I'll be fine.'

Once she'd settled herself, Esposito watched the doctor begin the process of lulling her into the fugue state, just like Meredeth had explained. And just like she'd said, there was no cheesy pendent swung back and forth or electrodes attached to her temples, just the doctor's soothing voice so calm it nearly put him to sleep. Finally, the doctor spoke in a clear tone. 'Meredeth, do you recognize my voice?'

'Yes. You're doctor Werner.'

'And mine?' Esposito chimed in when the doctor motioned to him. From her chair, Meredeth's smile was sleepy.

'Javi. My cop.'

'We're going to begin the control questions now Meredeth. When were you born?'

'November fifth, nineteen seventy nine, at six-oh-seven am Eastern Standard Time. I weighed eight pounds twelve ounces.'

'What was your mother's name?'

'Freja Dakkars Coleman, born April fourteenth nineteen fifty-four, died January twelfth nineteen-ninety-one.'

'And what do you do for a living?'

'I'm a writer. I write the Lady Hawk graphic novels with my long time friend Kristof Schillen.'

The doctor nodded, made notes on his pad. 'Now, Meredeth, I would like for you to describe a room for me, one where you feel comfortable and completely relaxed.'

'Javi's bedroom. It's got pale grey walls with lots of sports memorabilia, and the bed has black and grey checkered sheets on it, and goose-down pillows I think are too squishy but he won't part with them.'

'And why does this room make you feel comfortable?'

'Happy memories in there.' In her current state, she was unable to see the way Werner laughed a little and Esposito's cheeks coloured. 'He makes me feel beautiful.'

'He's a lucky man.'

Esposito link his hands together to help combat the itch he felt to go to her and take her hand. He could hear the softness in her voice she'd had after their second time together, when they'd finally made it into her bed, and he'd felt a moment of absolute perfection for the first time in his life. He sucked in a breath as Werner made notes on his pad and said, 'Meredeth, we're going to leave Javi's room and move to your aunt's house now.'

'No.' The voice was Meredeth's still, but painfully young and frightened. 'I don't want to. Bad memories.'

'Describe one to me.'

'I'm in the kitchen. Colby's there making cereal and asks if I want some. He passes me a bowl and Baby's in there. I scream and drop the bowl, and Colby's laughing at me.'

'What does Baby look like?'

'Costa Rican Zebra tarantula, about four inches across in size. Big, black, scary as fuck.' Meredeth clapped a hand to her mouth. 'I'm not supposed to swear. Uncle Mike says I have to put a dollar in the swear-jar.'

'I won't tell him. Can you think of your worst memory involving Baby for me?'

Meredeth's head began to turn side to side like she was looking around in a blind panic. 'No, please. Don't make me go in there.'

Esposito balled his hands into fists. His male instinct was to protect, to fix it, to make everything all better for her and take away that pain. The impotence he felt at knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do but watch her ride it out made him want to pound on something, so he settled for one of the throw pillows and beat his fists into it slowly and methodically.

'Meredeth, I know it's an awful place to go back to, but I'm here and so is Javi to help you get through this. We won't let anything happen to you.' Werner set aside his notepad, and simply spoke to her. 'I need you to tell me what happened.'

'April Fool's Day. I'm at my aunt's, and Colby told me she called. She wants one of my uncle's credit cards he left in his coat in the closet. He followed me to the closet, and shoved me inside, and...and...he put Baby on the floor and locked me inside. Oh, God! They're everywhere, they're everywhere! get them off me! Please, make them go away! Mom! Mommy, please make them go away!''

She'd started to cry, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks that made Esposito clench his jaw. In the just past two months they'd been together, he'd seen her have four brutal night terrors, and she'd told him about another three when they'd spent the night separately, but never once had he heard her cry for her mother. He suddenly felt nauseous with guilt at the night he'd told her he wanted to just sleep at home with his own things and the next morning she'd told him she'd had an episode. When he went to move off the couch, Werner sternly shook his head.

'Meredeth, I want you to listen closely. There is only one spider in the room with you.'

'Only one?'

'Yes. Is there a light switch in the closet?'

'No, it's outside.'

'I want you to put your hands on your arms.' Werner watched as she did so, hesitantly, knowing that the child Meredeth was in control at this point. 'What do you feel?'

'Me.'

'Are there any spiders?'

'No, but they might come back.'

'Remember what I said.'

Meredeth turned her head at the sound of the doctor's voice, asked it like a schoolgirl verifying her answer with the teacher. 'There's only one spider in here.'

'Right.'

'Okay. We're going to go back to Javi's room now, but you need to remember that. Say it with me.'

'There's only one spider.'

Esposito watched as he brought Meredeth back to herself, the same sleepy sexy woman who'd woken up in with him that morning, and eventually out of her trance. She gulped, breathed deeply as she looked around at them. Her eyes were dark and wide but clear, the same look she had as she came out of her episodes. When she turned to look at him, he nearly broke at the hopeful expression on face, as Werner made furious notes on his note pad.

'I'll give you two a few minutes,' he said in that same calm tone. Once the door to his private office was shut behind him, Esposito was off the couch and hauling Meredeth to her feet into his arms. The need to comfort her was overwhelming; relief was sweet as sugar when he felt her arms wrap around his waist and pulled him just as tightly against her. Her fingers were light on the back of his neck in that incongruously gentle gesture.

'It's okay, baby, I'm fine.'

'Mere.' He took her face into his hands, kissed her forehead; he didn't trust himself to touch his lips to hers, afraid Werner would come in to find them in a compromising position. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what?'

'I wasn't exactly supportive when you told me about this, and as much as it kills me, you need to do this.' It was a humbling admission for him to admit he'd been wrong, but there were times when being a real man meant swallowing pride and ego in one bitter gulp. 'I want to fix this for you but I can't. So I want you to see this guy as much as possible to help you.'

'Okay.' Meredeth held him close to her body, breathed deep so she could smell that delicious scent of him. It never failed to steady her when her nerves were on the edge of being shattered.

Werner came back in, saw them embracing, and cleared his throat to alert them to his presence. When they sat back down together, the romantic heart that beat beneath his placid demeanor turned a little mushy; seeing a couple so much in love was always a beautiful thing, even better when they were willing to be so mutually supportive by seeking helping for serious problems like the one Meredeth had.

He sat back down. 'I would consider this a very successful first session, Meredeth. I think over the course of the next eight weeks, we'll be able to eradicate these terrors altogether.'

'Really?' The hope in her voice was tentative. 'And that would mean no more nightmares?'

'Well, not these ones anyways. Can't guarantee it if you watch a scary movie or something.'

Esposito gave a low chuckle, thankful to laugh. 'She fell asleep watching The Exorcist on Thanksgiving at our friend Castle's place and didn't budge.'

'There you go. I'll add my notes to her file, and be sure to let Dr Frederick know of our progress today.'

Meredeth stood up, purse in one hand as she shook the psychiatrist's. 'Thank you very much, Doctor. I'll see you next week.'

'You're very welcome. Detective, might I have a word in private?'

Esposito looked at Meredeth, who nodded. 'I'll meet you in the car.'

Once she'd left, Werner took off his glasses and removed his pocket handkerchief to rub away smudges on the lenses. 'Detective, I want to tell you how impressed I am with your support of your girlfriend. I know what it's like to watch the one you love suffer, believe me; I was my wife's birthing coach when she had all three of our daughters naturally, without drugs.'

'Ouch.'

'The point being, it's very difficult to watch them go through something like that, and it takes a lot of discipline not to interfere in the process. And a lot of love. I hope you two are together for a very long and joyful time.'

'Thanks, doc.'

Werner watched the young man leave his office, and let himself wonder for a moment how long it would be before his daughters were buying their Lady Hawk books from Mrs. Meredeth Esposito.

R&R&Enjoy.