Disclaimer: Not mine

His Calling

Chapter 51

Leaving Hogwarts

"You two be careful. And make sure he doesn't muck it up with Lily," Remus muttered into Sirius' neck as he hugged him then pushed him away, slapping him on the shoulders before turning to James and doing the same. "I'll let you know where I am as soon as I get settled. Rosmerta may let me hole up with her for a while. She has some work that needs getting done."

"Right," James said quietly, looking down the almost empty platform. "Where the fuck is he?"

"His father collected him," Remus said with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Rat didn't even say goodbye?"

"He wouldn't if his dad was with him," Sirius said quietly.

"We are trying to get him to come live with us," James admitted. "If we can figure out a…a…pen or something…not to use…just to show those bastards down at the Ministry we want you there."

"No," Remus said quickly. "There's a cellar I can use, friend of mine owns it and if I can get some potion no one will even know I'm down there. You don't need me hanging around."

"Come on, Moony, we have two weeks before…" James started.

"I said no. Your parents have already been killed and I won't risk the two of you. Now, go. You are going to miss the train. I'll be fine."

James and Sirius picked up their backpacks and hurried along the platform, catching up with the moving train and hopping into the open door. Remus waited until he saw them leaning out a window to lift his arm and wave before picking up his own backpack and heading to Hogsmeade. He was almost to the far end of the lake when he heard someone calling his name and turned back to see Madam Pomfrey hurrying down the road, tufts of dust swirling around the hems of her robes and she ran.

"You, you wait right there!" she sputtered trying to catch her breath.

"Here," he smirked, taking her arm and leading her to a shady spot of ground under a nearby tree. "You could have sent an owl or your Patronus you know."

"From Enforcement of Magical Creatures," she thrust a piece of parchment in his hand before nearly collapsing on the ground. "I am sure they sent it late on purpose. They waited until the train left thinking you would be on it so they could nab you at the other end."

Remus unfolded the parchment and read the new rules that had just been enacted against werewolves. The first on the list was a new restriction on riding public transportation.

"They plan to met the train and pick me up in London." He said flatly. "I like number two, I can no longer eat in public or take part in public celebrations and festivities. That's going to be hard since I still don't have a place."

"Mr. Lupin, the Headmaster is preparing to go to the Ministry at once. This is totally uncalled for."

"Number three, Werewolves are themselves creatures. Therefore may have no ownership or dominion over other creatures or animals. What the fuck does that mean?"

"Owls, Mr. Lupin. Hence why I came running down the path almost giving my self a heart attack." Poppy scowled at his language. "I imagine it is also intended to keep you from running your mother's farm."

"Number four is self explanatory." He squatted down in front of her and handed her the parchment. "You shouldn't have come. You have broken it by warning me. If they find out they will fine you and I know you are not a rich enough to be throwing your gold around."

She reached in her pocket and pressed a small bag into his hand. "It is number five, restricting your travel that tells us they will be looking for you and you won't have the Headmaster to help. Now you take this, no…do not pull away. I may not be rich, but I have this to spare. You can pay me back someday, but you take it and you get away from here."

"I can't accept it. No, Poppy," he whispered, using her nickname for the first time. "You don't know if you will still have a job when this is over."

"I don't know if I will be alive when this is over and I would rather see you drink it down at the Hogshead than have it in that monster's pocket."

Remus shoved the bag in his pocket, promising to pay her back and consider it a loan as he helped her to stand, kissing her lightly on her cheeks. "You were there the first time I went in that tunnel and I know you were watching over me the last time. If you had refused me all those year ago, if you had even hinted that I should leave, I never would have finished school. I am in your debt."

"What will you do?" She asked, trying to keep her tears in check.

"I think I will take some time and…and walk," he said grinning and slipped his backpack off his shoulder. "If you could store this way for me. Walking around with that and it is obvious I am travelling. If someone can use my robes …I won't have much use for them for a while. I left my uniforms in my room, maybe you can find someone that has need of them."

"Your robes will be waiting when you get back. You go to Gringotts…no, do not go there, they may be watching. Find someone to exchange that gold for pounds. You will need real Muggle money."

Remus stayed in Hogsmeade, using the cellar at the Three Broomsticks that first change on his own. With no potion, and no friends to help him, he had to rely on Rosmerta's silencing spells. He was surprised when she led him down to the cellar and waited patiently for him to strip off his shirt then lathered healing potion over his arms. Picking up a blanket she held it high enough to afford him some privacy as he took off his trousers, then wrapping the blanket around his waist she fell to her knees to smear his legs.

"I have some of your brother's clothes in the cupboard. Never could bring myself to toss them," she said evenly as she pushed him around to rub potion on the backs of his legs. "You won't get far with those on. You have to start wearing clothes that blend in, not those trousers they got you wearing up at Hogwarts. Shoes too. I'll get you boots, and a jacket. I think Romulus had one about you size. Brown it is, with patches on the elbows."

"Romulus?"

"He called himself that. Thought Marcus would be too recognizable. I didn't know about you then or why he chose to use his middle name until…well, just not at the beginning." She stood up slowly, picking up his clothing as she did.

"Ro?" he said, hesitating to ask anything of her. "My mum and John, could you…do you ever see them?"

"I won't send them an owl if that's what you're after. If they stop in I'll mention you, but I won't go looking for her and you shouldn't either." She turned back at the door and cast her eyes around the enclosure. "There, you should be safe now. And, Remus? Moody will make sure your folks hear about your grades and let them know you are getting on. Git was in here bragging as if were he that took the exams himself just this morning. That proud he was. Even that old fool Aberforth said you did real good and he's never cared about the likes of that before. You have friends here, you don't go forgetting that."

Remus allowed Rosmerta to take him by floo the next day where he stepped out of the Leaky Cauldron into London. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders and thought that for once in his life he would take time for himself. For a month he could put aside who and what he was and ignore everything that was happening. Making his way to a phone booth he dialled the number he had for Miss Figg, and once she agreed to exchange his gold for Muggle money he happily set off to meet her.

"Thanks," he smiled, shoving the money in his pocket. "I'm not allowed…"

"There, there, dear, I am quite aware of your restrictions," she pursed her lips together and studied his face. "So, I take it you are going to the continent to see your young lady?"

"Umm, well…if I can get over there, yeah."

"Take the train to Dover, they won't be watching the Muggle ways yet. The ferry only costs twelve pound from there to Calais, make sure you get a return ticket and for heavens sake don't act so glum. It draws attention," she said squinting up at him. "I don't know how much the trains cost from there to where your young lady lives."

"If I can get there I can apparate back in stages," he muttered. "I should be off the grid in Germany, at least until they find out about her."

It took him two days to make the trip. After managing to catch the last ferry, he found he had missed the train and spent the night walking along the quiet streets, ducking into shadows at every sound. In the morning, he made due with a cup of coffee and a sweet roll, not knowing how far his funds would stretch.

Once he reached the University he wandered around, not knowing where to find her, watching as the students milled around the campus. After nearly half the day, he found her, sitting outside on the lawn, surrounded by other students, throwing her head back and laughing. Leaning against a tree, he stopped to watch her, not wanting to barge in on her friends, and wanting to watch her as others saw her. She lowered her head, tilted it to the left and frowned. He didn't hear what she said to the boy next to her, but saw her begin to search the grounds, twisting around to look behind her before turning towards him.

"Remus!" She squealed, standing up so quickly she stumbled and would have fallen if her friend had not grabbed her arm.

She tore across the lawn, calling his name and smiling as she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing her legs up around his hips.

"I take it you are happy to see me?" He laughed, holding her tightly and burying his face in her hair. "Gods you smell good."

"I expected you two weeks ago," she said happily. "I thought something had happened, that you wouldn't come. That you didn't want me anymore."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"One letter. I got one letter from you."

"One more then I got from you."

"No." She frowned, lowering her legs and stepping back. "Remus, I wrote once a week. I promise."

"You knew I was here," he grinned, reaching up and cupping her face in his hands, letting her comment about the letters drop. "You felt me."

"I'm a squib…not completely without magic. Just not enough to use for anything," She stood on her toes and kissed him soundly, unable to do more because of the smile on her face. "Come meet my friends? Please? I talk about you so much but they never see you….I don't think they believe I have a boyfriend or that you would really come."

"Potter's parents…they were killed," he blurted out.

Lucy held both of his hands in hers and studied his face. "Oh, no…do you know why?"

"No, other than they didn't agree with…the bastard."

"I'm so sorry, Remus. Tell Potter for me? Please? Tell him I didn't know. I would have come to the funeral."

"That's why he didn't tell anyone. He was afraid anyone that came would be stating their allegiance."

"How awful. To think that he couldn't even bury his parents without putting someone at risk."

"How's your Mum?"

"She's missing." Lucy locked her eyes on his, her smile slipping. "I guess we both know what that means. I haven't seen her for over two months now."

"Lucy," he breathed, covering her hand with his, a flash of blood spilling onto a barn's floor and her uncle closing the door flew to his memory. "We would have heard something. You have to keep believing that."

"I can't do this now. I want to be happy and show you off to everyone." She grabbed his hand and tugged him along to her friends that were still lounging of the ground watching her. "You have to meet them. Oh, Remus, you are going to love it here…I know you will."

They spent the day with Lucy's friends, heading for a beer when the sun started to go down, walking arm and arm like any other couple. Remus was at ease, and admitted later that he was pleasantly surprised at how readily he was accepted. One of the girls made a comment about a recent cut to his cheek and had reached out to touch the back of his hands, laughing and telling him what ever he was doing he needed to find a new line of work. Lucy had smiled and told them Remus was a master at Latin and translations from ancient Greek, suggesting some of the newer students may do well to hire him as a tutor.

When the beer hall closed, they strolled back to her rooms where they sat for hours talking, Remus' arms wrapped around her, her head on his shoulder. When he saw her yawn, he chuckled and chided her about being easily bored, only to be delighted when she took his hand and led him to the bedroom. As they lay together, she prattled on about her mother and what she had seen the past year. Remus became more and more uncomfortable. Finally pushing her to her back, he leaned over her and grinned at her look of surprise at the suddenness of his move.

"I want to see this cabin of yours."

"Now?"

"In the morning."

"We have plans…we are supposed to meet everyone."

"I want to be alone with you," he said with a grin. "I like your friends but I want you and I don't feel like sharing."

"I have to be back Tuesday for class."

"I'll have you back," he frowned. "If you don't want to…"

"No, I…no. I want to go…I have only apparated there. I don't know if I can find it."

"If not we will come back," he chuckled. "We have to find a broom. Is there someplace around here that may have a used one?"

"There is only one place that I know of. It's not far. They are terribly expensive."

In the morning, Remus and Lucy found a serviceable broom and he let her haggle price until she managed to turn the purchase into only a rental. Even at that, as Remus paid he knew it would be hard to make the trip back with what little he had left.

Remus pushed off from the ground and headed south, waiting to feel her tap his shoulder and point to a change in their course. Twice they circled back as she realized they had gone too far, and finally found the small cabin she had shared with her mother.

"Told you it wasn't much," she laughed as she climbed off the broom. "It has a shed you can use and we are miles from anyone else so you wouldn't have to be locked up if we came here every month."

"Lucy, until Tuesday…let's not talk about it."

"It doesn't bother me. You should know that by now."

"I know, but just this once I don't want to do anything but make love to you."

"Ah," she laughed. "That's why you wanted me up here."

"I have a lot of time to make up for. You have no idea of how hard it's been not having you around."

"I think I do." She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Come on, let's check out the cabin."

The next morning, and every morning until the last, Remus rose with the sun and was dressed before Lucy had even stirred. Sitting next to the bed, sipping a cup of tea, he waited for her to wake, just wanting to be near.

"Up already?" She stretched and rolled to her back. "You could wake me up and take advantage of me you know. I liked it when you did that last summer."

"We have to leave today, and I have to get back to Scotland."

"What?" she asked, sitting up.

"You knew this was just a visit."

"You said we would be together. That we would have the entire summer once my classes ended. Only two more weeks and I will be free."

"We are, what do you call this?" He leaned down and kissed her quickly. "I'm starving. Let's find something to eat."

"I need to go out," she muttered, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Out? Out where?"

"Just out," she said, avoiding his eyes as she scooped her clothes up from the floor and hurried towards the loo only to have Remus climb over the end of the bed and grab her.

"What's wrong? Talk to me."

"Not now," she said, her voice breaking. "I told myself I wouldn't cry. I refuse to cry."

"Lucy, I missed something here."

"It's nothing. I knew it…I knew you would leave…that you lied to me."

"Then come back to bed with me. You're right…I should ravish you again."

"No."

He released her arms and raked his hands through his hair, not knowing what he had done. "l can bloody well say you enjoyed yourself last night, so I know I didn't hurt you. You were fine when you went to sleep, so what the bloody hell just happened?"

"Is this all it is to you? Sex? Is that the only reason you came?" She felt her eyes well with tears and cursed herself, sniffing in an effort to compose herself.

"You know better."

"Do I? You promised. You promised we would be together, that when you finished school we would…"

"I never said I would stay with you…I said we could be together…we are," he turned back to the bed and sat on its edge.

"You said we would make plans. You said if I waited until now…" she whispered, unable to continue.

"You know I can't stay here. You've always known that."

"How? Do you think I am a mind reader? Fine. You should leave," she said evenly. "Leave. Go back to your precious friends. I spend almost a year waiting for you and then you plan on running off in less than a …"

"You know what's happening! I told you I won't leave England until it's over!"

"And then what? What will change then?"

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Did you ever want to marry me? Or was that just something I dreamed up? Is that what you…"

He crossed to her so quickly she stepped back. He grabbed her upper arms, fighting not to shake her, seeing a sudden fear in her eyes and felt her pulling against him as he shoved her away in disgust. "I won't hurt you."

"You already have," she spat. "I thought you loved me…you said…"

"I do."He grabbed her again and pulled her to his chest, feeling her sobs and fought not to do the same. "I can't marry, don't you understand? Don't you understand what is happening?"

"Not here," she said hopefully. "We could live like Muggles. It's not so hard. You just have to get used to it. You could come here every month…you can apparate now that you've seen it."

"I can't. I won't do that to you."

"Bastard!" She pushed him away only to slap his face. "I am good enough to fuck but not good enough for you or your precious world? Not good enough for your precious friends? You've known this all along. All this time you knew you never wanted me and just let me go on thinking someday we could be together…really together."

"I am a werewolf," he said through clenched teeth. "How in the world did you ever think marriage was in my future?"

"And I am a squib. We don't have to marry…just stay with me. Muggles do it all the time. It's not like the Wizarding world. No one cares if you are married or not. Live here, like you said you would."

"It's time to go." He picked up his coat and scowled at her. "Get dressed. I have to take you back first. We can apparate, it will be faster."

When they arrived back at the University, in a small passageway between buildings he nodded at her and gave her the broom he had shrunk and tucked into his pocket to return to the shop. As he stepped back to apparate to the train station, she reached out her hand stopping him.

"Say something," she said. "Tell me you don't love me…that you never want to see me and I can let you go. Say something damned you. Tell me what you want."

"Something I can never have. Lucy, you have to understand this is what I am. I thought you understood that. I thought you understood this is all we can ever have."

"Do you love me? If you do, we can make it work. Remus, please…stay. Try, at lease try."

"I'll come back when I can. But I need your promise, that if I do, you will not start this again."

"And when Voldemort is gone?"

"I don't know, Lucy… I don't know."

"I'll give you until he's gone," she said sternly. "Then you'll have to decide because I am not waiting forever."

A/N: Thanks for your patience. I am starting to update this more timely now.