EPOV of My Other Brother Chapters 4-6

Things were better, but still a bit off between Bella and I that following week. We sat by each other in class on Monday, and while it wasn't painful or anything, it just wasn't us. The next day I had my Music Theory course that I shared with Tanya. She smiled sweetly at me from across the room when I came in and then came over to me after class was dismissed, asking if I wanted to grab lunch with her. I smiled and nodded, thinking she seemed like a nice girl and I really needed to change my ways. Seeing Bella at that party had really thrown me for a loop, and I realized I was tired of pining for her and screwing around. I needed to try to grow up and move on.

Things started off good with Tanya, she was sweet and pretty, and when we did start having sex a few weeks later, I was pleased to find she was really quite talented when it came to the bedroom. The stupid part was, I really didn't know what I was doing, and ultimately let Tanya set the tone for our relationship, following her lead. Okay, I'll be honest; I ended up letting her lead me around by the fucking nose. It was really fucking stupid, but I knew I needed to make a change and had no clue how.

I changed a lot of shit for that girl, but the one I had the most trouble with was Bella. Tanya didn't understand our relationship, and while Bella was clueless about the full breadth of my feelings for her, Tanya wasn't all wrong to feel threatened. Being with Tanya didn't quell my feelings for Bella at all. Actually, it made me miss her more, but I was determined to change my life, and lusting after my step sister was not the way to do it.

I refused to let Bella go completely. She was my sister and my best friend, but I knew I needed to take a step back, so I did. It sucked big time, but I didn't know how else to make everyone happy. I kept in touch with emails and texts several times every day, but I stopped spending time with her. I missed her. Just like while she was at camp, it was like ghosts of her were everywhere.

I missed Bella, but I did enjoy spending time with Tanya. She was sweet and caring and loved taking care of me. She would often show up at my room with food or snacks, asking me to go for walks and just spend time with her. Actually, I ended up spending far more time that I should with her, letting my studies slide, but I liked the feeling of someone by my side. I was oblivious to how the talons were digging deeper ever day and how Tanya was manipulating my world beyond recognition in just a few short months.

Before I knew it, Thanksgiving had arrived. Bella had invited her geeky little shit of a boyfriend since he was from out of town. As soon as Tanya caught word, she began angling for an invitation too. Not wanting to have to watch Bella smile at Riley all weekend without a distraction, I harangued an invite for Tanya too. I would say it was a big mistake, but in the end it was the best decision I ever made.

Thanksgiving was hell and in the comfort of my family home, I finally began to see just how manipulative and controlling Tanya was in our relationship. When even my step mom who finds something to love about everyone hates my girlfriend, it's obvious that she's not the girl I convinced myself she was.

When we returned to school, I was single minded in my decision. Once we got to the dorms, I helped Tanya up to her room with her belongings, asking her to take a walk with me after she was settled, having asked Emmett to take my things up for me. He had smiled so brightly I thought his cheeks would crack. He had told me how much he didn't like Tanya or how she worked me, but I had been too blind to see at the time. Thanksgiving opened my eyes wide, but apparently not wide enough.

As we walked, I worked up my courage to tell Tanya that I didn't think we should see one another anymore, but when she realized where we were headed she interrupted.

"Eddie, please tell me you aren't going to try to break up with me now. Oh please!" She started sniffling, large crocodile tears running down her pink cheeks. "I need you now more than ever. You can't leave me like this."

I frowned at her, my arms crossed, not even reaching out to comfort her as I normally would.

She let out a high pitched sob before telling me a long story about being late and thinking she might be pregnant. She then told me that she took a test before we had left for Thanksgiving and it had been positive. My heart froze before shattering into little crumbled pieces in my feet as my entire life seemed to fall apart at the seams.

She brought me back to her room where she reached into a drawer and pulled out a white stick thing with two lines. The thing looked yellow and the lines were barely visible, but I didn't really know anything about them. I numbly held her to my chest and let her cry against me as I tumbled into my own personal hell, entirely of my own making.

The next couple of weeks were agony. Tanya was clingy and prone to tears, talking all about what she thought we should do about taking care of the baby. She had plans for taking breaks from school and marriage while I worked and saved up money. With every plan she made my world grew a little darker.

It was after our last review for Dr. Black's class that Bella dragged me away to a private place to talk and I totally fell apart and confided in her. She held me as I cried and started talking about things I needed to do. After I was properly bolstered by the advice of the love of my life, I went to the death of my life to try to coerce her to go see a doctor so I could be with her. I was shocked at her not only refusal but venomous anger that accompanied it. I was in a panic as I returned my dorm and called Bella.

It was Bella who pointed out to me that I was allowing Tanya to once again manipulate my life to suit her desires. I wanted to believe the best about Tanya, but Bella was right, it really wasn't something I could put past her after everything she had pulled.

The next time I confronted her was a real trial by fire, but by the end, I was finally free. It felt so fucking good, like I was reborn. Fuckup after fuckup, and somehow I managed to escape unscathed. I knew I had a lot of making up to do with Bella, and I was willing to do whatever she demanded to have her back in my life the way she was always meant to be. Bella was my sun and moon. I had been a fool to try to replace her, and I was sick and tired of running away from the best thing in my whole fucking life.

When I reached her room, I swept her into my arms and spun her around, so happy to be free. This was a new, older, wiser Edward and I was sick to death of fighting my future, but first I needed to salvage it by passing my finals.

Once again, it was my Angel to the rescue. She helped me study for all the courses we had together, working into the early hours of the morning to help me get all the shit I'd lost in the wake of Tsunami Tanya. I was so fucking behind, but Bella was patient. With her help, I was passing everything with flying colors.

I still don't know what made me confess my long time feelings for Bella. It must have been that damn hum in my bones from our touch, but whatever it was had me tossing all my cards out on the table. It was during our last study session before we went home. We were lying on the floor in a sea of papers when I turned to her and thanked her for saving me, yet again. I was so overwhelmed by her very presence and the feeling of her hand in mine; I basically told her that if fate hadn't made us siblings I would have claimed her when we were twelve.

I expected her to freak the second the words were out, but instead she just stared at me in shock, her mouth hanging open, looking so fucking adorable as she turned on her side to face me. My beautiful, blind girl was completely clueless. I about choked when she said she thought she wasn't enough because she was everything to me…absolutely everything. She was the measure by which all other women I encountered were measured and she didn't believe I could have feelings for her. If it hadn't have been total blasphemy it would have been laughable.

What shocked me more though, was that she hinted to having similar feelings for me, but then quickly masked it behind discussions of her unworthiness. I pushed it aside for a while, holding her to my side before finally hanging Emmett out to dry about prom to change the subject a little, but once again, my mouth got ahead of me and the next thing I know, we're sitting face to face on the verge of kissing.

I wanted to beat Emmett's ass when he interrupted until Bella made quick excuses about getting ready and fled the room. It was then that I realized that she really wasn't ready, and not only that, her conscience would have eaten her alive for kissing me while still with that dimwit she called a boyfriend. I didn't know whether to kiss him for saving her virtue or beat him around the head with a baseball bat to beat some sense into the boy. I was more than glad she was still pure, but who the hell would not even try?

I got the sense she was maybe starting to feel an attraction towards me, but it was too intense, too controversial for her, even if the boyfriend wasn't in the picture. I had to back off and soon.

I texted her, feeling a strange mixture of sad and relieved when she replied to go on my own. After the test, we all met up with our belongings in the lobby, and as usual, Emmett was late. Things were tense with Bella, and I could tell I had fucked with her head. Even if she was leaning in to meet me, she wasn't ready to deal with all that would be involved. I had to wait until she was ready.

We weren't waiting long when her wimpy little boyfriend came in all tears and snot. She rushed to him, talking quietly with him across the room while a sadness I hadn't seen in a long time seemed to fall over her like a heavy blanket. After a while, I went over to see what was wrong only to overhear just enough. The poor kid's dad had died and he was going home…for good.

I tried to be supportive, but I couldn't help but wonder if this was fate's helping hand or if it was someone fucking with me big time. Bella stayed by his side and he led her out hand in hand to the car, kissing her face chastely before helping her into the car. My hands were fisted on my jeans, trying to keep myself in check.

Bella was so quiet on the car ride and I worried she was sitting there hurt that her boyfriend broke up with her to go home. It surprised and delighted the shit out of me when she turned to me with wide, telling eyes.

"Yeah, a lot better than I should be actually. This is going to sound awful, but the more I think about it, the more I realize he was just a placeholder for someone else."

I stared into her eyes, my heart pounding so hard I could have sworn she could hear it. I couldn't really be this lucky…could I?