Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 53

Acceptance and Rejection

The next morning, Remus found it impossible to sit and wait for Albus to contact him. He started walking toward Godric's Hollow, hoping to catch a ride on a lorry once he reached a Muggle highway. He was almost to the fork in the road that would take him there, when a less then hygienic wizard appeared in front of him. Remus raised his eyebrow, stepping back, reaching for his wand as his nose wrinkled at the smell of body sweat, and the dust of a sloppy apparation swirled in front of him.

"Call me Fletcher and if you go pulling that stick out and pointing it at me it will be the last time you pull it," the wizard wheezed, appraising Remus the same way he himself was being appraised. "You are sort of young and scruffy looking. Albus said to collect you though, so here I am."

"And you are sort of old and look like bloody hell," Remus snorted.

"Sort of cheeky," Fletcher laughed. "Need that, we do. Tell me, are you all bluster and show or do you have a backbone?"

"Two," Remus said evenly. "The one you see and one you hope you never run into on a full moon."

"Ah, so you're the one. Wondered when Albus would get around to nicking you. Was told to find a….hold on." He pulled out a wadded up piece of paper from his pocket. "Here it is. A Remus Lupin. That be you by the tacking spell he put on this bloody thing."

"You knew about…?"

"The Order knows more than you think. Just didn't put the facts to the names." Fletcher glanced up the road, stepping back into the shadow of some nearby trees. "Albus and Minerva are already there, we better get going ain't going to wait on you arse all day."

"Where is this meeting? I was told it was last night."

"In good time, lad. Don't think we would take someone in sight unseen now do you? This is the second stage. This is where they get the smell of you," he said solemnly, quickly stepping forward and grabbing Remus, pulling him into a side-a-long before Remus was aware of what was happening. Landing in front of a small house on one of Manchester's east end streets, he pushed Remus back, scowling. "You will be given a memory charm when you leave if they don't take you. You will remember everything but the location, that is unless you don't need to know who you met, if you give them cause to doubt you, and then we will wipe that out too."

Remus nodded, swallowing hard as he looked at the council house, wondering who lived here. As if in answer of his question the door opened, revealing a man who waved them in while looking up and down the pavement excitably.

"Hurry along now," he whispered, barely able to conceal his excitement, "can't be taking all day." He stepped aside to let Remus and Mundungus enter before grabbing Remus' right hand in both of his warmly. "Dedalus Diggle, here, and you must be the young Remus Lupin we have heard so much about. Lovely day, just lovely it is, and on this most auspicious of all days for you. Refreshments will be served of course. I do hope you bought your appetite. You look like you have missed a meal or two."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Remus said, confused at the man's behaviour, noticing that Fletcher had hurried by the man not even stopping to exchange pleasantries.

"Don't listen to the old codger. Thinks we put the damned place on some walking garden tour just so he could have a party. Old fart," Moody called from the kitchen as he walked out to greet him. "Get your arse in here boy, I got things to do today. Don't want to be here till midnight and if you keep talking to him the sun will be going down before I get home."

"Moody!" Remus grinned as he was immediately engulfed in a bear hug and just as quickly pushed away. "I take it your witch is waiting."

"You tell Meda I did that, boy," Moody grumbled. "She told me to give you a big hug."

"You lost another bet?" Remus laughed as the scared wizard meekly shrugged his shoulders.

"Mr. Lupin, if you please?" Minerva stood in the doorway to the kitchen, waving to the room behind her, indicating that he was to join them.

Remus followed Moody into the kitchen that had been magically enlarged to hold the meeting. The room fell quiet as he walked in and took the seat next to Moody at a round table that now dominated the room. He watched as Professor McGonagall sat on Albus' right side where she picked up a piece of parchment and whispered something into his ear.

"She's his second," Moody coughed into Remus ear, his hand over his mouth to cover his whisper. "If he ain't around what she says goes."

Remus dropped his head. "Who is the old guy?"

"Elphias Doge. Watch him…somewhat edgy, if you get my meaning. You'll meet the rest."

"Edgar Bones here," the wizard on Remus' other side said laughing. "Don't need to whisper Alastor. Not everything is a secret. "

"I read something about…" Remus started, only to stop, uncomfortable that he had brought up the article that he had read the previous year.

"That would have been my oldest boy, Mark, and my little Emily. Both gone now." Edgar managed a smile and patted Remus' hand. "Thank you for remembering them. So many gone, so many others."

"Remus," Fabian called him, "how's that mother of yours?"

"Fine, thank you. I haven't seen her for a while, but she is fine. Is your brother coming?"

Albus stood and held up his hand, bringing silence to the room. "Tonight we are here to go over the information we have gathered this past month. However, as should be obvious to all, we have a guest this evening. Mr. Remus Lupin has expressed interest in joining us. I am sure you remember the reports from last evening. For those that were not in attendance Professor McGonagall will supply you with copies if our gossip mill has been so ineffectual as not to have reached you."

"He's too young." Elphias spat. "We need real fighters, not kids still in nappies. Said it last night and I'll say it now in front of him."

"You said the same about me and Alice and we were a year younger," Frank Longbottom rushed in and found an empty seat. "Sorry, got caught up at work. Alice will be here soon. She took Molly to see the midwife and Gideon is on his way with Arthur."

"I do hope she is well." Minerva said, putting her hand to her throat.

"Healers said she is just having a hard time of it and she won't take it easy." Fabian added.

"I do wish everyone would put in an effort to be on time," Albus sighed. "Elphias, your concern has been noted as to Mr. Lupin's age as has Frank's disagreement. I will however point out that he is of age and therefore meets the minimum requirement."

"I agree with Frank. I was his age, maybe a little younger when I joined, as was Gid." Fabian scowled. "Look around man, most of us were here when we were seventeen…not his ripe old age of eighteen."

"Yes, but you were not on a Ministry list and the war wasn't what it is now," Edgar reminded him. "I don't like taking…creatures…in Albus. I don't mean I have anything against him, just that he draws attention."

"He said the same thing about me being a female and I'm an Auror for Merlin's sake. Remember that you old fool? Almost word for word…I don't like taking females in…don't mean I have anything against them…bull shite," Marlene McKinnon spat. "You have the report on Lupin's training exercise. He seems to have an aversion to hexing people, too cautious. He has to get over that and trust that if they are fighting us they are on the other side. Other than that, he did just fine. I say we take him."

Small chuckles and nods of agreement went around the room. "Since when is it wrong to be cautious?" Remus asked incredulously.

"People are not always what they seem, Mr. Lupin." Minerva said stiffly. "When the flick of a wand stands between you and death you do not have time to revisit friendships and question loyalties. This is not DADA where failure means you must retake the lesson."

"I have a list of names here, Mr. Lupin," Albus said, handing it to Minerva who in turn slid it over to Remus. "This is only those we have compiled in the last couple of months. Would you have a problem fighting any of these?"

Remus lowered his head to the list of known Death Eaters and those loyal to Voldemort, hesitating when he saw Sirius' bother and cousin, Bellatrix listed. He continued until he saw the name Martha Spencer and then looking up at Albus he tried to discern what the old man was thinking.

"Well, Mr Lupin?"

"Are you sure? You said she was working for you."

"Hear that, Albus? He is questioning…"

Dumbledore held up his hand calling for silence as those in the room began to mutter. Continuing to watch Remus, he leaned back in his chair. "He has every right to question if we expect him to put his life on the line. Yes, Mr. Lupin, quite sure. Now, we are awaiting your answer."

"Who put this list together?" Remus asked quietly.

"The information, once supplied to us by an Order member is than verified. I can assure you that the names are correct."

Remus felt his throat constrict, understanding what they were asking. Could he level his wand at Sirius' brother? At Lucy's mother? With no thought further than to do what he must? Could he cast the killing curse? He was unsure, and although knowing that it may stop him from being part of the Order, pushed the paper back to Albus slowly.

"I…I don't know, sir."

"Mr. Lupin?" Albus said, encouraging him to continue.

"At least he is honest," Gideon said from the doorway where he stood with the Weasleys and Alice Longbottom.

"Should have ran the vote before more bleeding- heart witches showed up," Doge grumbled.

"Elphias!" Albus held up his hand to silence the growing complaints.

"We have enough witches," Elphias muttered under his breath, not to be silenced by Albus. "Don't ask me to put my life on the line fighting with one and now you drag him in here. It's not right I tell you. Witches and werewolves…what is this coming to?"

"I know one witch that could put half the people at this table in the ground before you could get your wand out of your pocket," Remus said quietly.

"Got a point there," Moody chuckled, slapping him on the back hard enough to push him into the table. "Kid's Mum would put you to shame. Staved off three werewolves herself she did. Trained up her son here. Wouldn't mind having him at my back and if it comes to that, wouldn't mind being second to him."

Fletcher leaned his arms on the table and studied Remus. Noting the way he avoided eye contact and held his body as if forcing himself to relax. "No one at his table holds what happened against you at the training, but that doesn't mean we trust you. What would you do if some of our own refused to fight with a werewolf?"

Remus sat still, letting the sound of blood that pounded in his ears quiet before slowly lifting up his head and looking Fletcher in the eyes, knowing that the wolf was close to the surface at it always was when he was angered. "I would tell them to stay home the next time the Headmaster needs them, because Greyback and the pack he is putting together will be close behind and I plan to be there."

"So, for you this is personal?" Fabian asked, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his legs.

"Let it go, we can talk about it later," Frank said quietly, shaking his head at the Headmaster as the others started talking amongst themselves.

Remus saw the looks the Order members gave each other and knew he had just failed whatever test they had just given him, and felt Moody's hand rest on his shoulder. "That's it?" he asked incredulously, standing up and starting at the Headmaster.

"We will discuss this tomorrow, Mr. Lupin," Albus frowned. "I will have Dung…"

"No, you give me a list of names and expect me to tell you what I would do. It's not like that. In a battle, I would stop them…but it won't come to that. You know damned well where I will find Martha Spencer, and it's not on a field, it's in a barn. A barn that I will get into.

You ask me if I could bring down my best mate's brother…and I'll tell you if the choice is him or Sirius, or anyone in this room, I wouldn't hesitate," he spat, angered that he felt they had not given him a chance to explain. "Bloody hell, I don't know what would happen if it were just me and one of them. No one here can tell you how they would react facing someone they know, someone they used to trust, someone…someone close to them or a loved one. No one! Not until it happens and if they think they could answer that bloody question they are lying. You may think you would, you may pretend it wouldn't bother you, or that you would mindlessly throw a hex, but it doesn't work that way."

"Remus," Arthur said quietly, "when I go out on an assignment, I don't want someone out to prove something. I want someone that knows what they are doing and leaves their emotions at home. I am not saying you cannot duel, I have seen you and you are one of the best. I don't give a bloody hell about what…or who…you are. I don't care about any of that. What I care about it that you hold your temper. I just don't think you are there yet. "

"There are other ways to help, Mr. Lupin," Minerva spoke for the first time, silencing the rest of the room as if her very presence commanded respect.

Remus let his eyes travel around the table, seeing some looking directly at him, other avoiding his eyes. Turning to Albus, he took a deep breath before speaking. "Temper? You have no idea what you are talking about. You don't know temper, you don't know what it feels like to have a rage under your skin so raw it wants to rip out someone's throat. So go ahead, vote now. I want to see who is against me."

"Remus, dear. It is not a point of being against you, or for you…it is the point that we have to be sure of you." Molly looked around the table for agreement. "Most of the members are so old they forget what it is like to…"

"Don't you start that…"

"Witches!"

"Told you we should vote before…"

"Silence!" Albus shouted over the growing roar. "Go on, Molly."

"As I was saying," she smiled sweetly, tapping her husband's hand. "We must branch out. Vol…He Who Must Not Be Named has. We know he is talking to others, like Mr. Lupin here, as well as the vampires, giants and has gone as far as creating vile dead...Inferi. We need wizards like him. That is of course, Elphias, unless we may have Mr. Lupin infect you. You may then be our…Werewolf in Residence for we are in sore need of one."

Remus felt the corners of his mouth twitch as Doge sputtered. He saw Dedalus grinning widely and stand to begin levitating platters of sandwiches and sweets to the table.

"Bloody good show, Mrs. Weasley. Eat up… come every one I have more…"

"Mr. Diggle, do you think you could wait for the vote?" Minerva said tersely. "I do want to mention that Mr. Lupin has always exhibited a certain ability in leadership and although he has let his tempter show it's self today it is most unusual for him to do so. We have watched over him for years, as has Mr. Moody, and we can assure you that his temper is well under control."

"So let's get it over with," Gideon grinned, reaching for a sandwich, only to have Marlene slap his hand. "Everyone against Remus raise their hand then go outside for an arse kicking."

After the meeting Remus headed up to Godric's Hollow and knocked on Potter's door, hoping that he and Sirius were home although he saw no sign of life in the house. He turned back to the pavement, wondering where they had gone at the same time knowing he had no way to travel even if he did know.

He had hitched a ride on in the back of a Muggle lorry to get this far and had spent the last night sleeping on the ground. He wondered if Rhea had kept his childhood broom and then discounted the thought as foolish. Even if she had, he could not contact her now. No more then he could go back to Hogwarts and take the one he had used for his last two years. Skirting around to the back of the house he decided to wait in the yard and was pleased to find an old apple tree that would provide lunch.

"Remus, wake up man." James squatted down next to the sleeping wizard, shaking his shoulder. "You could have taken down the wards."

"Hey," Remus grunted, greeting him groggily, sitting up and searching the yard with his eyes. "Sorry, didn't mean to crash out here."

"Come on in. Sirius is burning sausage again."

"I need to talk to you, Prongs."

"I guessed that when I saw you out here."

"I need a potion."

"I have the usual. You are welcome…"

"Not that," he muttered. "Wolfbane."

"Sure," James said with no hesitation. "Where do I get it?"

"St. Mungo's is the only place with a safe stock. That shite they sell in the Alley can kill me if it's not brewed right…from what I hear it's hard to get right… but there is a place…"

"Remus, if you need it from St. Mungo's I'll get it. I can find out which brewer they use and…"

"It's expensive, Prongs…the stuff in the Alley…"

"Get me the name of the brewer or I'll ask that Mediwitch Sirius is sweet on. Problem there is that I don't know anything about her." James shrugged. "We have to be careful these days."

"I'll pay you back," Remus said uncomfortably.

"And I'll break your arm if you try. Being the last in line has its benefits."James stood up and started back to the house. "Hurry up, last time he set the kitchen on fire."

"How's this working out for the two of you?" Remus asked, catching up with James as he pulled the back door open.

"Fuck," Sirius jumped back from the burner, dropping the pan on the floor and watching the sausage and grease splatter across the room.

"Like this," James said tiredly. "Only a month and I wonder how we made it seven years as roomies."

"Moony!" Sirius yelled as he tried to cross the floor, slipping on the hot grease and landing on his backside, taking down a kitchen chair with him.

Remus laughed and started to help him up when James put a hand on his arm stopping him. "Told him if he does it one more time he's on his own."

"Ah, give the cook a break," Sirius grinned.

"I did, that's the third chair you broke in a month. A bloody month, Padfoot. I only have one chair left."

"I fix them," Sirius grumbled, pulling himself up on the table, taking out his wand and cleaning the kitchen before he repaired the chair.

Remus saw mismatched legs on three of the chairs and the fourth sitting crookedly. "I see nothing's changed."

"You two sit," James pointed to the table and headed for the water kettle. "At least I can make a cuppa without burning down the place."

"You have eggs?" Remus asked opening the fridge and began looking for what he needed. "Sit, both of you. I'm getting a free meal out of this so I want to make sure I can eat it."

"Seen Lucy?" James asked from the table where he sat watching Remus cook.

"Yeah, she has lessons all summer so we didn't have much time. What about you? Has Lily been around?"

"Yeah," James said quietly. "We are getting married."

Remus spun back and saw the grin that was spreading on his friend's face, not missing the hesitant smile that Sirius mustered. "That's…that's great Pongs."

"I thought you would understand," James shrugged. "You don't sound thrilled."

"I do, it just…it's sudden is all. She spent six years yelling at you," he said with a smirk. "I guess she changed her mind. "

"He's a fucking idiot if you ask me," Sirius glared at Remus. "His folks were killed because of who they were now he wants to run off and marry a…Muggle-born. He's putting a target on her back and doesn't even see it."

"Didn't think you had anything against…" Remus started slowly.

"I don't…and I wouldn't put someone I claim to love in danger either. She deserves better."

"You want me to leave?" Remus asked sarcastically.

"You're different," Sirius muttered.

"My father was Muggle and I put you in danger every time we talk."

"Okay, cut it out. We start in on this and the old fucker wins." James stood, leaning his hands on the table and glaring between the two. "He has managed to turn family against family. Are we going to let him to it to us as well?"

"Where's Peter," Remus said to change the topic, turning back to the tea. "I want to ask you guys something but think he should be here."

"He should be here any minute. Usually makes it for tea. Little rat must be a worse cook than Black," James said, trying to lighten the mood.

"You have any pasta?"

"You cook pasta? James, he cooks pasta," Sirius said happily, jumping up and digging in the cupboards. "You have no idea what burnt sausage and eggs taste like after a month."

"Idiot," Remus chuckled.

Soon Peter and joined them, bringing afters and giving Remus a hearty hug, slapping him on the shoulder and teasing him about being the cook. As he joked, he took up position next to Remus and began to expertly chop vegetables and prepare a salad.

"Fuck, Wormtail," Sirius said glumly, peering over his shoulder. "You never said you knew how to do that."

"Black, I can boil water and hit green things with a knife," Peter grinned. "Amanda said I do a right mean stew."

"Amanda?" Remus stopped what he was doing and turned to Peter.

"Yeah," Peter grinned. "Ain't the prettiest witch, but real nice."

"Don't matter what she looks like," Remus said under his breath. "Quit apologising to these to louts. If you like her, that's all that matters."

"Yeah, she's real nice…nice enough to look at…not…you know…drop dead built or anything…just average," Peter sighed. "At least she's a witch."

Remus paused and watched Peter out of the corner of his eye, seeing him still chopping. Trying to ignore the comment, he drained the pasta and put it on the table along with the sauce that he had added sausage to, having suddenly lost his appetite.

"This potion that you need," James talked, shovelling food in his mouth, "do you need it before the moon?"

"I take some the day before and the rest the day of," Remus said softly. "Listen, maybe I shouldn't have come here."

"Why not?" Sirius looked up from his plate grinning. "We could all head down to the…"

"No," Remus stopped him. "There is something I want to do on my own. Nothing big, just something I want to see if I can do."

"Up at Hogwarts?"Peter asked.

"Umm…no," Remus said, sipping his tea.

"Where do you run now that you don't have the shack?"

"I've only had to do it once." He slapped the back of Peters head.

"I mean…what do you plan to do? We could still meet up with you some place and…"

"That's what I wanted to tell you guys about," he said setting his tea down and waiting until he had their attention.

He told them about the meeting he had attended. Although unable to mention who was there or where it had been held, he told them about his attempt to join the Order, and the outcome of the vote, trying to keep the pride out of his voice that he had been accepted. Black listened closely, his face a study in anger as James leaned back and avoided Remus' eyes. Only Peter seemed anxious to talk and find out more.

"I think we should all try," Peter said happily.

"I don't like the idea of Dumbledore pulling the strings," Black said. "And what right to those fuckers have to decide who can fight? Bloody hell, Remus, isn't like you to put yourself out that way. You've never had to explain yourself before."

"They had the right to know. Sirius, they may be asked to put their lives on the line for me. It will be easier for you guys. You are all pureblood. I don't care what everyone says, being from an old family goes a long way on both sides of this issue."

"I'm with Sirius. Why Dumbledore?" Potter questioned. "I trust him to be against the Great Fucker, but he always seems to have something else going on. Something he's not telling us."

"I wonder why?" Remus said sarcastically. "He has to be careful. Listen, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here. I've trusted him with my life up to now and I guess I have to keep on doing it. Who else do I have? Anyway, part of the whole thing is they vote on stuff. He organized it and all…but they vote on most things."

"You think we should?" Sirius scowled.

"Come on, Padfoot. Remember what we said on the Astronomy Tower? This is our chance to at least go out with it meaning something." Remus said.

"He has a point," Sirius said, with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "Fine…let's do it. Wormtail, you in?"

"Sure," Peter nodded." We can run up there next week and talk to the Headmaster."

Over the next few days, Potter used his father's invisibility cloak to sneak into St. Mungo's. While Sirius was busy flirting with the clerk on duty, he managed to find the brewer's name and at least his billing address. Once that was done, it was a simple matter of bribery and memory spells to get the potion he needed. Remus didn't ask how Potter had managed to get three months worth. He only knew that James was now in deep trouble if it were found out, not only for breaking into St. Mungo's but also for helping a werewolf.

Waiting for the next full moon was difficult. Remus found himself back at Rosmerta's a few days before and visited Andromeda and Ted, refusing their offer of a bed but taking full advantage of Ted's duelling knowledge and Andromeda's cooking. Nymphadora climbed up next to him as he sat talking to Ted, dragging a book with her and putting it on his lap, waiting for the men to finish.

"What do you want tonight squirt," Remus grinned down at her.

"Mum gots me a new book but don't read it so good and Dad does worse."

"She doesn't? Seems to me she would do fine."

"She makes her voice go all funny and squinches up her nose when the hag talks."

"Oh," Remus said, picking up the book and grinning. "My mum used to do the same thing. I sort of liked the different voices."

"Ever hear Mum do a hag?"

"No," he grinned. "Scary?"

"Hags ain't scary. The bad man is scary. Mum says to stay in the house cuz he may get me cuz he don't like my kind."

Remus looked at Ted and set the book down on the table. "How about I find you some books without magic in them? No hags or scary men? Perhaps something that is fun."

Watching her as she nodded and ran off Ted sighed. "All the kids are like that anymore. We teach them the best we can. How do we warn them without scaring them? It's my fault I guess. I shouldn't let them use this place for training."

"And Moody doesn't help," Andromeda came in, levitating a pot of tea and cups after her. "I gave up with her. The more I tried to talk when she wasn't around the more she thought …HE…was getting closer. I finally sat her down and told her who she could talk to and who she was to stay away from. How do I tell her why?"

"I wasn't much older than she is now when Greyback came around." Remus poured milk in his tea and leaned back, sipping on it. "I knew who he was by what I heard and what was in the paper. I think I knew a lot more than I let on, I just didn't want to believe it. She knows what's going on with…him. Her mind just isn't ready for it yet. When it is, everything will fall into place."

"Did James tell you about him and Lily?" Andromeda said, changing the conversation. "Sirius said they are waiting until next spring. Lily wants to spend this last summer home."

"Potter is strutting like a peacock," Remus grinned, then stood preparing to leave. "I won't be back after tonight. The Ministry is enforcing more laws. No, let me finish. You have a kid in there. What will happen to her if you two are hauled in?"

"Remus, you are welcomed anytime…you know that."

"From what I heard today we would be safer with you." Ted smiled widely. "Andromeda, since he isn't going to tell you…Remus is now the newest member of the Order of the Phoenix."

"That, and a werewolf the whole Order knows about and some do not approve of," Remus said grimly.

"They have an oath," Ted assured him. "They will keep your secret."