Warning: These one-shots feature heavy subjects, including alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide and torture... so far. Now adding: depression, cheating, heartbreak, underage, implied prostitution, suicidal thoughts, someone having acid thrown on them, smut, implied rape/non-con, self-harm. I'll add more as the story wears on, just in case.

Disclaimer: Credit goes to HannahSongla for the story idea. Please go check out her Hayniss story similar to this - Sweetheart. Credit goes to Suzanne Collins for the verse and the characters. I don't really own anything but the text of these one-shots. And no, that doesn't mean the song lyrics or the playlist. Enjoy c:

AN: Can be a read as a sequel to the previous post, but can also standalone. I think I'm going to do a few more of this verse.

Song: Hazy by Rosi Golan ft. William Fitzsimmons

What if I went and lost myself
Would you know where to find me?
If I forgot who I am
Would you please remind me?

Casual sex had been all fine and dandy, because for a long while, that's all it was. Two lonely people fucking out their frustrations. That had been good. That had been something Katniss could handle - something she was used to. She liked it - as fucking twisted as it was - and she lived for it. She preferred being meaningless to someone than being everything to them. It was less pressure.

But then casual sex turned into slow kisses between interviews and hands all over each other and flirtatious phone calls and laughter over drinks and suddenly the casual sex wasn't so casual. Suddenly casual sex was half-assed 'I love you's' and confusion and running circles around the other, trying to keep them as far and close as they possibly could. This was what spooked Katniss, what sent her to scurrying away and hiding out in her house for two weeks.

She was terrified of this… feeling that she got around Haymitch. It wasn't like the overzealous romcom movies or the romantic novels that she'd read in the Capitol. It wasn't anything she'd ever felt with Peeta. It wasn't electricity and sparks and fireworks. It was a low burning, a need that didn't fry her veins or make her hands tremble. It felt great but it wasn't a toxic great. It got her high - and she knew high.

It takes days for her to get up the courage, but she finally stops moping around her house. She showers and when she goes to the phone, she finds over a hundred missed calls on the answering machine. Had neither Prim nor her mother bothered to answer the phone? She's shocked to find that they're all mostly from Haymitch - with a couple dozen being from a very worried Peeta Mellark, and even some from Cinna.

Hi, Katniss. You didn't come over last night. Is everything okay? Call back.

Katniss. Answer me right now, or I'm coming over. Don't make me do that.

Katniss? It's Peeta. Haymitch said for you to answer the door.

Fine then, Katniss. Be an asshole. Just tell me you're okay.
I didn't mean to scare you. Just… damnit, answer me! Fucking shit, please just tell me you're not dead!
Please… tell me you're not dead…
Katniss, answer me. Now.
ANSWER ME DAMNIT.

Fucking shit. This is all my fault. Are you getting drunk? Is that it?
Please… please… I love you. I'm so sorry.

And so on and so forth. The texts and calls had only stopped about two days ago, after the apologies. It was worse hearing his voice over the voicemails - she barely gets through the first one without choking up. After working up the courage, she picks up the phone.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Katniss?" There's so much hope in her voice that it makes her cringe, she almost hangs up because she can't stand the guilt that begins to crush her.

"Hi."

"'Hi? Fucking, 'hi'? After three fucking weeks and it's just 'hi'? I thought you were… I thought… oh fuck, Katniss, I was so worried. Where have you been, are you alright? I'm coming over right now."

"No! No, Haymitch, just… wait for a moment," Katniss insists, finding a seat that the cord will stretch to and trying to keep her composure. "I just… I freaked out, okay. I got scared. I'm sorry."

"Katniss-"

"I said wait! Anyways, I got… the idea of someone genuinely loving me… like… romantically and for real… it scared the shit out of me, okay? Just like with Peeta. I was so scared. So I ran. I ran and I'm sorry that I did that to you."

"Can I speak now?"

"Uh… yeah. Yeah."

"I love you, and that's scary for me too. Especially after my girl and… well, I'm crazy for you. And I knew that if I told you, you'd freak out and run away from me. So I did. I told you everything. But then I realized that I had made the greatest mistake of my life and… oh jesus fuck, I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"I promise I won't run and if you promise not to surprise me like that," Katniss whispers into the receiver. She can hear Haymitch's breath of relief, and almost picture the way his chest lifts and falls with a sigh of relief. It strikes her as funny that even when she thought she loved him, she could never picture Peeta doing little actions like that.

"That sounds like the best fucking thing I've ever heard."

I watched you sleepin' quietly in my bed
You don't know this now but
There's somethings that need to be said
It's all that I can hear