Disclaimer: Not mine.

His Calling

Chapter 58

Learning to Live Again

Remus winced as Poppy taped his ribs and healed two deep gashes over his eye. Clicking her tongue and tisking her disapproval, she made it known he had been a fool by not just her words but by the less then gentle care she gave him.

"Bloody hell woman," Remus slapped her hands away. "I don't know who is worse."

"Couldn't just shut your mouth could you? No, not you. Not the noble werewolf that is going to change the …"

"That's it," he spat, sliding off the examining table and struggling on his shirt.

"You are not going off like this." She shook her finger in his face, her own a study in rage. "I sent for Mr. Black to escort you."

"I don't need a bloody escort! What do you think I am?"

"An idiot," Sirius said, striding down the aisle. "Merlin, Remus, what the fuck…sorry Poppy…what got into you? You look like shite."

"Nothing," he grumbled, trying to button up his shirt with one hand, his left wrapped in gauze and tape. "If I had a Healer instead of this witch that is intent on teaching me a lesson instead of fixing me…"

"I did the best I could," Poppy snapped. "I can't fix everything as you well know."

"You could try!"

Madam Pomfrey clutched her hand to her throat as her bottom lip trembled and turned away, walking stiffly to her office and slamming the door.

"Christ, you made her cry." Sirius swallowed hard watching the witch's door. "You need to do something."

"I did. I got her out of my way."

"What's with you? I know it's the day after the moon but bloody hell man, I see you every month and you've never been like this. What did you run into? A whole friggin pack?"

"Right." Remus threw his robes over his shoulder, unable to get his arms into the sleeves and started for the door. "I just got the crap beaten out of me at the Ministry and a two hundred galleon fine for bleeding on their fucking floor."

"Lucy's going to be pissed."

"She left."

Sirius stopped walking and stared at Remus' back. "What did you say?"

Remus turned on his heel and levelled a glare at Sirius. "With in the last twenty four hours I moved back to England, chased some bloody wolves to hell and back trying to find their lair, my girl left and I've been beaten to a bloody pulp in the name of saving this fucking world by registering. How is your day going?"

"You forgot to mention that you made Poppy cry," Sirius said quietly. "She'll be back right? You said something and pissed her off?

Remus' eyes flickered to the Mediwitch's door as he swallowed hard. "I can't talk to her right now. I…"

"Wait here," Sirius nodded to a chair. "Let me say something before it gets worse."

"Take your time. I still have to check in with the zoo keeper." Remus turned and headed up to the Headmaster's office, oblivious of the stares and gaping students that watched his progress toward the circular staircase.

Walking in unannounced, he told Albus about his night in the woods, explaining that by the number of wolves present he knew there was an encampment but had been unable to find it. He Informed the Headmaster that if he went back to the area he would have to fight for dominance, as a lone wolf was easy prey and suspect. The Headmaster listened closely, making no comment, until Remus finished and indicated that he was leaving.

"You will not walk these halls in this condition again," Albus said sternly.

"This?" Remus laughed coldly. "No, I was told this was nothing compared to what they could do to me. You see, this is what happens at registration these days. They don't read the laws any longer. They show us me will happen if we break them."

"I expected better of you," Albus frowned. "If you had not lost your temper you would not be in this condition."

"Right. If you believe that you need to find out why Rookwood was transferred to the division," Remus said standing. "Sorry. I should have realized this was my fault. Perhaps I should send a letter of apology to Greyback. Here I thought it was his doing all this time."

"Mr. Lupin," Albus called him back sternly. "You will use the floo. You have been told not to show your self in this condition to the students."

"I have also been told werewolves are no longer allowed on the network," Remus spat. "Any other suggestions?"

They turned to the door as Sirius knocked on the frame, raising his eyebrow in question. "You ready? Sorry sir, I told Poppy I would get him home."

"Use the door behind my desk," Albus said, waving his wand and moving the bookcase. "And, Mr. Lupin, next time wait until you are presentable. I will not have the students unduly alarmed by your appearance or your attitude."

"Fuck him," Remus said angrily as they made their way to the main gate. "Wait until I am presentable? Where would he suggest I go?"

"You want to head back or let me buy you a drink?"

"Another star for an otherwise wise perfect day," Remus laughed. "I am not allowed alcohol. I should just keep track of what the bloody hell I am allowed, the list would be shorter."

"I have a bottle back at the house," Sirius grinned. "You need to get drunk."

"I need to sleep." He muttered. "I can hope this is all a bad dream."

"So, how long do you think she will make you suffer?" Sirius watched him from the corner of his eye as the walked along, seeing his jaw clench. "That long, hey?"

Remus stopped and waited until Black turned back to him. "What happened last night? After I left, what happened?"

"Nothing…we ate. Lucy went up to bed before we finished…then…we just went on home. We thought we would get to see you before you took off"

"Did she seem…upset…or angry? Help me out, Prongs. I don't know what the fuck happened. She just… she said she…she loved me so she was leaving. Seemed to make perfect sense to her so maybe it's just me."

"I don't know. Nothing that I know of. You were away from her for so long…could there be someone else?"

"I asked her. She said no," Remus admitted. "Listen, you go on. I'm going to walk into town and grab some sleep."

"Lily will have tea ready," Sirius offered. "Come on, you shouldn't be alone. At least come grab a bite with…"

"Leave it go. I've been up since yesterday morning and I'm knackered."

"Wait," Sirius called out, hurrying to walk with him. "She had some appointment today, at the Ministry. Did it have something to do with that?"

"They probated her family's property. Her mother and uncle's…"

"So she gets the entire Spencer fortune? Bloody hell, she doesn't have to worry about the bills now."

"She did just fine before," Remus said uncertainly.

"So …now that she has money…you think…could she have just waited until she got enough to leave on her own? She may not think she needs anyone here now."

Remus took a deep breath and felt his chest constrict. "No, she's not like that…no. Prongs, I…fuck, it's not like I was supporting her."

They looked at each other in surprise as their pocket watches sent off a round of bell tones, signalling them to an emergency.

"I'll let them know you can't make it. The Headmaster just…"

"Forget it," Remus muttered, pulling out his wand with his right hand, his bandaged hand covering his pocket as he waited for the port key to activate, wincing as it did. "See you there."

He landed beside Sirius outside of a small country cottage. He could smell salt water and hear waves crash against an unseen shore. They also heard the sound of curses from the back and Remus waved Sirius to the left as he ran to the right, ignoring Sirius' pleas that they wait for the others. At the back corner, he paused, flattened his back against the house and waited until he thought Black had made it to the far side of the house. Stepping into sight, his wand held in front of him he saw Alice and Frank Longbottom, shielding a body that lay on the ground, throwing back hex for hex, in a match in which they were sorely out numbered.

"Expelliarmus!" Remus yelled at the same time he heard Sirius cast a Protego, sending a shield to the Longbottoms as he fell and rolled to the ground, firing off a Stupefy at a dark haired witch as he did.

Remus dropped to one knee, unable to find where the other curses were coming from until he saw Alice's body stiffen, her back arch as she threw back her head and screamed in pain. Following the shaft of light that held her in a Cruciatus, he threw a stronger Protego, adding to the one Sirius had cast, trying to break the connection as two more masked and caped Death Eaters stepped out from under a Disillusionment charm.

Frank instantly flew backwards, blasted off his feet, his wand flying out of reach as Alice's ungodly screams ripped the night. Remus saw Lestrange grinning as he held his wand on her, stepping closer, Sirius in battle with the witch, the sound of laughter to his back. He lifted his left hand to hold a wandless spell, unable to throw more than a weak shimmer due to the bandage, he stepped into the shaft of light that held Alice victim as he shouted, "Impedimenta!"

.

.

"You are an idiot. They said you were but I didn't believe it," Alice leaned down and wiped his forehead with a cool wet flannel as he lay in the infirmary.

"Merlin." Remus closed his eyes against the glare of the single candle burning on the nightstand. "Who pushed me in front of the Express?"

"Do you want me to get the Mediwitch?"

"That or an Avada Kedavra," he ground out between clenched teeth.

"You shouldn't have been there," Alice said sadly. "Hold on, I'll get her."

He slipped back to darkness until he felt someone behind him, raising him up as foul tasting potions were poured into his mouth and a firm hand began to massage his neck and throat, another lightly slapping his face.

"Wake up, Moony. She's going to floo St. Mungo's if you don't and you know what that means. The vet cometh."

"Prongs?" He choked, coughing as he struggled to sit up. "Put the light out."

"Better?"

"As long as I keep my eyes closed," he snipped, suddenly remembering what had happened. "Frank…where is Frank."

"I made him go home. He has to work in the morning." Alice sat on the side of the bed and took his hand. "He's fine."

"Who was that…the one with LeStrange."

"My aunt," Sirius snorted. "How do you like the family so far? Nice loving family I come from. You should come during the hols, a real sight."

"I've seen her before," Remus said, leaning back on the headboard. "She was talking to Greyback in the Alley."

"Diagon?" Alice asked. "It's getting worse. They don't even hide any longer."

"Who was it? That you had on the ground?"

"Baxter and his wife," Alice said as she stood. "We got a call that they needed help. We thought…they were already dead when the call went out. It was a trap."

"My dear aunt and her husband got away," Sirius told him. "As soon as you went down Gideon and Marlene showed up and they left with the rest. We fucked up."

"Anti- Apparation," Remus sighed. "The old man is going to have a fit."

"No, you should have assumed Frank or I set it. They were waiting. We didn't have time. We walked right into it. I've already given Albus the report. What he is going to give you is bloody hell for showing up in your condition and taking the curse for me."

"He was making it stronger. I thought I could break it."

"You did, but too late. Merlin, Moony, we thought we had lost you." Sirius said.

"Shhh," Poppy pulled back the curtain scowling. "This is not a private room. Walls have ears. Now, how is the patient?"

Alice and Sirius stepped into the Hallway while Poppy examined Remus, being more business like and more abrupt that she had ever been in the past. Waiting until she was done, Remus grabbed her hand and apologized for his previous actions. He saw her eyes moisten and finally released her, giving her permission to cause him as much pain as she wanted the next time he showed up unannounced and injured.

Swatting his hand until he let her go, she wiped at her eyes and managed a smile. "I spoke to that nice Rosmerta. She has a room set up for you until you are on the mend."

"I'm fine. Just…feed me and I'll get out of here."

"And be on your arse before you make it to the gates! You use the floo…no don't look at me like that…the floo here is connected to the Broomsticks…Albus claims he can block the user's identity and he set a ward on the door so you don't get into the school."

"Wants me gone that badly?"

"If Black takes you now you can be tucked away before she opens for the day."

"How long have I been here?" He swung his legs over the side of the bed, feeling his head swim.

"This is the morning of the fourth day," she said, lifting his lids and peering into his eyes. "Remus, I believe the spell hit you hard because you were still under the influence of the wolf. You have to be more careful and remember everything you have learned. If they had not brought you in so quickly we would not be talking now. Do you understand?"

Later that day, after sleeping and eating twice, Remus pulled out the suitcases he and Lucy had packed and found his clothes, needing to change from the ones he wore to his yearly registration and the duel. Seeing her red jumper, he enlarged it and held it to his nose. Smelling her perfume, the shampoo she used and the very scent of her he felt his eyes sting and once again wondered what had gone so terribly wrong. He suddenly felt like the young boy who had run to John with his problems and needed to see him, to talk to him and have a father close. Quickly shoving all of Lucy's belongings back into the case, he pushed it under his bed, needing to get to Diagon where he hoped to find John still on duty.

Remus used a Disillusionment charm once he was in the alley, stepping back into the shadows as the cold prickles ran down his spine, adjusting to the sensation that he hated. Waiting until the Aurors came to find the wizard that had just illegally apparated in, he stepped out and whispered into John's ear, hearing him mutter a meeting place in return. Walking in the furthest lanes of Knockturn Alley, Remus found himself instinctively lifting his hood to hide in even with the charm still on him.

"Remus?" John whispered. "Show yourself."

"Here," he said letting the charm down and stepping out where John could see him.

"In here." Dawlish pulled a door open, walked down a long dark hallway and opened another, entering into a dark stale smelling room. "I wouldn't drink anything that doesn't come in a sealed bottle but its safe it here. Sit."

They took a table at the back wall, where Remus could watch the door.

"I wanted to see you."

"I gathered that. Your mum enjoyed Germany. She wants to do it again."

"Lucy's left. I guess you can tell mum she won."

"Germany? So she took a new job? Good for her! I think if we give her and your mum a few more years they may even talk to each other again. They used to get alone fine," John said with an uneasy laugh. "What is it son?"

"She's left. Lucy. She…she left."

John leaned back in his chair and studied Remus' face. "Did you do something?"

"I don't know," he leaned on the table, looking up from under his brows. "She was fine…then the next thing I knew she…she was telling me…she was leaving."

"I have to ask this," John leaned toward Remus, looking into his eyes. "Did you hurt her? Did you…I know you would never do it on purpose…but did you…"

"No," Remus spat. "I don't understand. For years we…you know we lived together…finally when I thought things were good, that we could be together …you know…live together for good…she leaves."

"I'm sorry, son. Truly. She…I know she and your mum had a falling out…but she was a good girl. Give her time."

"She's on her own. When we left Germany, Albus pulled her personal guard. What happens to her now? Who watches her? I don't even know where the fuck she is."

"Does she have someplace to go? Friends she may be staying with?"

Remus shook his head and studied the tabletop. "The only person she was close to was the couple Albus had watching her. She didn't know. Bloody hell, she doesn't even know their real names."

"I'll keep an eye out for anything that comes through the Ministry. You have to understand that even if I do learn where she is…Remus, I…I won't tell you. No…listen. When she is ready she will let you know where she is."

"She's alone," Remus looked up at John, his eyes filling with tears. "It's my fault she's alone. What if it gets her killed?"

"It was her choice to go," John held up his hand to the barkeep and ordered two more bottles. "You are young. Give it time. Right now it feels like the end of the world but that will pass."

"I still think of Tiffany." Remus leaned back in his chair and tipped his head up to the ceiling. "I should give up. I just…every one I…"

"Come on, drink this." John pushed a bottle across the table. "I once knew this witch, Merlin, I was hooked on her. Thought I would kill myself if she kicked me out of her bed. I had it bad. Walked around hard all the time just thinking of her. She did once…kick me out…this bratty kid she had accused me of smacking her around after that…in front of the whole bloody town...sent me a howler. Almost smacked him instead I was so angry. I think I didn't do it for fear once I started I wouldn't stop. Things have a way of working out."

Remus laughed and shook his

"I wanted to, believe me," John chuckled. "Then I came back and there she was sitting on the barn floor watching you with a rat. I used to be one of those Aurors that followed the letter of the law. Did you know that? Did you know that before I met you and your mum I had given up ever having a family? A home? So unless we need to go fishing, and I think you are a little beyond that…drink up."

"I need something else," Remus said quietly. "I need to be able to travel. With all the new rules, it is almost impossible. I'm stuck."

"And you want me to lift the tacking spell?"

"You used to hide it when I was a kid."

"Underage magic is traced differently." John said thoughtfully. "Short of changing the wards on each and every floo and apparation point to allow you to travel…and that would be recorded in its self…I don't think it's possible."

"You'll look into it?"

"If you make me a promise," John lowered his voice. "That I don't hear from some toerag in the lunch room that you went into battle so beat up that you lasted less than five minutes and spent the next few days in bed. You mum was hysterical."

"That's what I like about the secret organization we have here. Everyone knows about it."

"Moody wants your arse."

"Tell him to get in line," Remus snapped, standing up. "This was a bad idea."

"Why? Because you don't like to hear the truth? Should we talk about your little show at the Ministry?"

"No, because I…" he started than shook his head. "I don't want to argue with you. Let it go, John. I can't take much more right now."

"I'll tell Rhea I saw you." Dawlish stood and clasped his shoulders. "Can I tell her you'll meet us some place?"

"Potter gets married in two days," Remus said, thinking of Lucy and that she was not going to be there with him. "Will you be there?"

"Rhea wouldn't miss it. She claims anyone that can tame James deserves a big turnout and a gift I can't afford."

The day of the wedding was hot and sticky. Humidity settled over the yard where rows of chairs where lined up, the guests fanning themselves and casting cooling spells as they milled around waiting for the ceremony to commence. Remus stayed towards the back of the crowd, waiting until he saw the rest of the guests start to sit, then snuck around to the front of the house, going in and finding Lily upstairs, just preparing to walk down.

"Remus," she cried out and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "We were worried you wouldn't make it. James would have been so disappointed."

"How could I miss it?" He asked, running the pad of his thumb down her jaw line. "You are beautiful."

"Thanks,' she smiled widely. "I'm a nervous wreck."

He looked up at the girls that were standing behind her, glad when she waved them ahead to give them some privacy."I just wanted to see you before you went down there."

"I heard about Lucy, I'm…"

"Not today." He put his finger to her lips, silencing her. "James is a lucky man to have you."

"I'm scared," she said, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. "What if I am making a mistake? What if he doesn't love me?"

Remus laughed and shook his head. "He has been after you since I can remember. I always thought that's what got him going after Snape. He still can't stand the idea that you have friends he doesn't know about. He would be jealous if he even knew I saw you in your dress before he did."

"I'm happy and I'm sad. I can't wait to get down there and I am scared to death to do it."

"I didn't see your parents."

"They won't come. We went to the Muggle courthouse this morning. I thought at least they would come there and we could…" She tried to smile. "It doesn't matter what they think. I live here now. James will be my family with you, Sirius and Peter."

"Ah, Lily," he said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. "They'll come round. Before you know it they'll be coming to tea."

"Walk me down?"

He took her elbow as she lifted her dress to manage the stairs. At the bottom, he passed her off to Sirius, kissing her lightly on the cheek, watching as Sirius took her outside to her groom. As he looked on from the back door, he felt oddly out of place and felt the urge to leave, finding it difficult to breathe and wanting to put thoughts of weddings and witches behind him. Turning on his heel, he strode out the front door and apparated to Knockturn Alley to find the place he had been in with John, deciding he would get drunk on the day Potter was married. It was one promise to himself he planned to keep.