Stalker
Some cats will tell you that the hardest part about being dead is losing the life they had. They're wrong. The hardest part is losing the life I could have had. The hardest part is not growing up. The hardest part is knowing that I would have been somebody, but never being able to know who that was. The hardest part is watching my siblings earn reputations, make friends, find mates... all while I'm stuck in The End.
It's not all bad. My father's sister Wren and her mate Fox have taught me lots of things about hunting and fighting, but I'll never be able to truly try them. I'll never be big enough to use them properly, either. The cats all care for me as if I was their kit, especially my father's family and a fluffy brown cat named Bear who Wren is close friends with. He joined us a few moons ago. He loves to tell me stories about when he first met my father and Wren. Unfortunately, there aren't many other kits up here for me to play with.
I spend most of my time watching what is going on below The End, in the real world. I watched my littermates grow up. I saw Hail become a healer like he always wanted to be. I saw Storm become one of the greatest fighters BloodClan has ever seen. I watched Hunter learn of his skill, and I saw him meet his mate Flora. I watched Star get fawned over by all the toms, while she only wanted to fawn over Rain. I always wonder how I would have turned out. What would be my place in the hierarchy of BloodClan? What skill would I have to rival my brothers'?
I often think over the events of that day. My last day. Why had I let Storm convince me into going after Roc? Why didn't I listen to Hail when he told us it was a bad idea? I wonder these things, but I know the answers. Storm was the biggest, the bravest, the one Hunter and I looked up to. Hail was the smartest. If only I had realized that back then. But then I can't help but think… If I hadn't died, would the outcome of the Battle for the Mousetrap have changed? Would more cats have died? Would less have died? Would something have happened to Storm and Hunter? Those are the questions I can't answer.
I'm not mad at my brother. Storm did what he thought was best, and he did try to protect me and Hunter, even when it was obviously hopeless. And I've seen him grow. I've seen him turn into a great leader. I'm not mad at him. I never was. My death changed him for the better, I see that now.
My death changed them all. It was only after I died that Hail trust himself into searching for healing methods. That Hunter stopped following after Storm (like we both had done since we were kits) and became his own cat. That Star stopped distancing herself from our brothers. My parents, too, were changed. They grew closer. They're happy now. My whole family is.
I am grateful for the chance to watch them. I've seen my family grow, not only in physical growing up terms, but also in number of cats. Two have joined my family as I've watched, Rain and Flora. More will be joining soon, and soon Star will have to tell the rest of my family. Hopefully my father and brothers won't attack Rain when they hear the news, I do like the grey tom.
However, Hunter will have news of his own to share eventually. I can watch him anywhere, but none of the rest of my family knows about Flora yet. She still lives with her twolegs. I know he'll convince her to leave them and join him in the clan soon.
Storm has she-cats trailing after him constantly, but he brushes them off. He does occasionally like to tease them, though. He'll pause and give one cat a few minutes of attention, or he'll flick one gently with his tail or he'll nod at one. I think he likes all the adoration.
And Hail. If my brother wasn't so absorbed in his work he would notice that he has a few admirers of his own. They aren't as open with their adoration as Storm's she-cats are, but I can see it.
Sometimes I wish I could talk to them. Apart from my father, who Scourge calls up to The End quite often, I cannot talk to my family. I haven't yet learned how to walk in their dreams. Wren and Fox have both done it, but I am having a lot of trouble learning. They think it might be because I'm still a kit. I hope not. There is almost nothing I would like more than to talk to them.
I know that one day, my family will join me here. I want to interact when them, I want nothing more… but I can wait.
There they are, five stories about Shatter's kits. I hope you enjoyed them! ~ Capitaine Jaf