I don't know who he is, but she is definitely not herself

Lizzie wakes up early and lies in bed for a few minutes, trying to untangle the previous night's events. It all seems to be a mess of Charlie grinning madly, and angry green eyes. A lot of yelling. Towering. A hand on her back. Charlie and Jane dancing alone. Will's eyes? And then…someone else, and the courtyard, and…then a lot of alcohol. It is only at this that her stomach kicks in she runs to the toilet, one hand over her mouth. A few minutes later, sitting back against the cold tiled wall, she starts to unravel the pictures. The speech had gone down brilliantly. Charlie had been thrilled, and had spun her round in his excitement. He had gone off dancing with Jane and neither was barely free for the rest of the night. Will was furious about something, something about…George. But then they were dancing, and his eyes were confused, almost hollow. And something had happened, they'd said things? And then she had gone to the courtyard to cool off, and had walked into…Bill Collins.

Lizzie leans back and groans. It all comes flooding back in glorious Technicolor and she suddenly feels like her head might explode. At the same time, there is a hammering at her door. She groans in reply.

"Lizzie?"

She manages to crawl to the door and open it, standing shakily against the doorframe. Jane pushes her way in, closes the door, and the rounds on her. "What happened?"

This early, and this hung-over, Lizzie can't quite cope with Jane when she has her game face on, that crazed ready-for-action thing. She makes her way to her bed, and slumps onto the end amongst the tangled bed clothes. "I'm not really sure. I just know it was bad enough that I got seriously drunk." She rubs her forehead, and pushes the hair off her face. "Why? How did you know…?"

Jane pours Lizzie a glass of water, digs out some aspirin, and then passes them both to her. "I had an irate message from Mom this morning."

"How did she know?"

Jane sits in the armchair opposite the bed, raises delicate eyebrows, and crosses her arms. "She wanted to know why you hadn't let them know the second that you had gotten engaged. To Bill Collins." She seems to fight a smile.

Lizzie groans. "How did she know that?"

A look of panic flits across Jane's face. "You're not actually…Lizzie, you're not…"

"No, of course not! I'd have to be high, drunk and criminally stupid."

Jane relaxes. "Well, good."

Lizzie grimaces, and takes the pills, drinking the whole glass of water. "What did you say to her?"

Jane's calm face slips into a wince. "I may…I was taken a little off guard. I mean, I had only just woken up." She sighs. "I said that there was no way that you'd have said yes."

Lizzie nods slowly. "Well, I guess that's true." She slumps back, flat. "What kind of idiot…" she mutters, "what kind of idiot would think I'd marry him after two nights after ten years, when I was never that enamoured of him then!"

"To be fair," says Jane, "you did go to homecoming together."

"Which was entirely your fault!"

Jane has the grace to look a little guilty. "Well…yes."

Lizzie groans again. "He looked so surprised. I mean, I don't exactly remember everything. The alcohol has taken care of that, but I do remember his face. He genuinely thought I'd say yes." She sighs, heavily. "Why did you tear in here so, you know, crazy?"

Jane bites her lip, and winces. "Well, uh, Mom didn't quite believe that you had said no to him, and was so angry and…she's on her way here."

Lizzie sits up like she is propelled with a rocket. "She's what?"

"Yeah. So I thought you'd appreciate the heads up." She stands up and shrugs. "I'll make you some coffee. You get in the shower."

Lizzie stares at her for a second, before slowly standing up. "I blame you, entirely for this," she says, frowning.

Jane grins. "Fair enough. Now get in the shower."

Mom has her sugar and spice smile on. It's a bad sign, the moment I open the door.

"Lizzie, darling."

"Yeah?"

"Won't you let us in?"

I glance past her, where Dad is leaning against the wall, looking a little nonplussed.

"Uh, sure," I say, buoyed up by the three cups of coffee that Jane has got down me. I mean, how bad can this be? Well, potentially bad enough that when Jane said, 'Oh, I'll think I'll go now,' as Mom phoned to say she was here, I said, 'oh, hell no, I'll kill you first'. Or something like that.

Mom walks in the room, and looks round in a kind of interested way. Almost like…oh hell, almost like she's trying to see signs of a night of passion with my new fiancée. I suddenly feel like throwing up again.

"Well, Lizzie," she says, turning round and perching on the armchair. "How are you?"

"Oh fine," I manage breezily. Dad smirks, and remains leaning by the door.

"Well you know, you girls aren't here long in Tennessee…"

"We're leaving in a few hours," I put in.

"Yes," says Mom, with her don't-mess-with-me look, "and we thought we'd just come and drop in, share some news."

Why isn't she just yelling? This casual wheedling is so much more painful. It's like slowly peeling off a band-aid, not ripping. "Oh, you have some news?" I ask, ever the interested daughter. Jane perches on the window sill, her head in her hands. She clearly can't stand much longer of this.

"No," says Mom. "Now what about you?"

Dad barks a laugh, and then, at a steely glare from Mom, is quiet again.

"Oh, you know, not much."

Somehow, of everything, this breaks her. "Yes you do!" she yells. "What did you say to Bill Collins?"

I give up the pretence too. "How did you know about it?" I ask.

Mom shrugs. "He came and asked your father for permission."

"And you gave it?" I ask, wheeling round on him.

"It's not like I had much of a choice sweet pea," he says. "Your mother had me cornered."

He has never been good at putting his foot down. Now however, would have been a good time to learn.

"So?" asks Mom, shrilly. "What did you say? Jane seemed to think…" She turns to Jane, and I swear, for the first time, ever, gives her the steely glare.

"Well Jane was right. There was no way I was going to marry him."

Mom spins round and glares at me now. Boy is this fun. "How could you be so selfish?"

"What?"

"He could have saved the farm. His land with ours would have been enough for us to actually make it work." I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears, but in all fairness, she has a point. It's a dumb point, but still.

"Tell her Rex." Mom points the glare back at Dad.

He shrugs. "Well I guess she's right in that…I mean. Young Bill Collins' land with ours would make the farm more viable. We'd have a proper ranch again…" He trails off, and as Mom turns back to me, triumphant, he mouths 'sorry'. I ignore him.

"See!" says Mom. "See! You'd be comfortable for life, Lizzie. He showed us his investments and shares and…"

"He showed you his investments?" I ask, incredulously. Seriously. What kind of a guy brings financial proof that he should marry someone's daughter. An idiot. That's who.

"Yes," says Mom, "and he isn't just secure. He is well off. Seriously. Maybe not as well off as Janey's Charlie," she says, waving a hand at a mortified Jane, "but well off. You'd be comfortable, we'd have a living…everyone wins."

I can't quite compute what my mother is trying to say. I have to sit down. "But I don't love him," I say, probably quite weakly.

"So? This is bigger than that?"

"Is anything?" asks Jane. She's an old romantic, but, you know, in this case I'm on her side. As she appears to be on mine.

Dad smiles at her. "Not often darlin'."

Mom rolls her eyes. "This is ridiculous. Lizzie, you will phone him back, and tell him you've changed your mind."

"No I won't."

Jane appears to be getting braver. "Do you even have his number?"

Ha! Yes! "No, I don't. See, Mom, I don't have his number, because I barely know the guy."

She scoffs. "That's ridiculous. You went to homecoming together."

I shoot Jane a glare which could be construed as malevolent. She grins, guiltily.

"Mom, I'm not marrying him."

"Rex?"

"I'm not doing it Mom. I barely know him, I don't love him, I'm not sure I even like him."

"Rex!"

"And, I'm not a kid. I'm old enough to make these decisions myself."

"REX!"

Dad turns to me slowly. "Sweet pea, your Mom obviously feels very strongly about this."

"You're not kidding."

Mom bristles. "Of course I do. This is not just her future. This is all of ours…" She turns to me, pleading, nodding slowly as if it's the obvious, natural thing to do, to marry an idiot because your mother tells you to.

"Mom," I start, slowly, as if placating an angry bear, "I'm not going to marry him, and I don't think I ever will."

She stands up. "Well then, I don't think I can ever see you again. Rex. Come on."

Dad closes his eyes for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Unless, of course,Lizzie," she continues, with a pointed look, "you will change your mind."

Dad glances at Mom, and then to me, and smiles. "Lizzie, love, your Mother will never see you again if you don't marry him…" Mom nods vehemently, " but unfortunately" he continues, "I will never see you again if you do." His mouth twitches, as Mom turns to him, horrified.

I feel a smile tug my mouth into a grin. My Dad, Mister OK-honey-that's-fine has finally put his foot down. "Daddy…" I begin, but he swiftly kisses me on the cheek, and then walks toward Mom. "Come on Frannie," he says. "They're grown ups now. They've got to make their own mistakes."

Mom looks at him for an icy few seconds, before marching out of the room. Dad turns back to us. "No amount of money will ever be worth your happiness, do you understand?" he asks. "That goes for marrying fools like Bill Collins, or guys who may seem quite nice, like your Bingley, Janey. OK?"

We both nod, and he nods in return, before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Jane and I exchange glances, and sigh.

"Well," she says. "I guess we'd better go get ready to go to Austin."

"Yeah," I say. "All eight-hundred miles away from Mom."

And Jane smiles.

Fr: deathtothewiggles

To: williamdarcy at charlesbingley

Subject: You

Hey there sailor. Long time no talk to.

Rich has caught me up with everything. Yes. You can thank him later, maybe with a shovel. In the meantime, I kind of slightly agree with him, much as it pains me to say it. I mean, the whole just tell her about you and George, and then kiss her is, I'll grant you, simplistic, but something along those lines. With or without the kissing. Depending on, you know, whether you actually like her. Although Rich said something about you and dancing, and I had understood that you were opposed to dancing. On many levels. So, you know, maybe she's pretty special to have you up, doing your thang. Especially when, from what I hear from G, it's pretty damn good. When you can be bothered I mean.

Anyway, try to not be such a boy, would you? I know it's hard, but it'd be so much easier if you just talked sometimes. Not that I have that problem with Rich. It's more trying to get him to shut up.

Yours, thrilled to be 2000 miles away from the house of vomit,

Juliet

"Will, are you free?"

Will looks up from his Blackberry with a smile. Viv almost takes a step back, she's so surprised.

"Uh…Jeff wanted a few things confirmed."

"What things?"

Viv sits down opposite him tentatively. "Just these," she says, pushing a piece of paper towards him. "The Catholics Dinner, Daniel Mora…" She leans over, pointing. "Just there."

He frowns at the paper. "OK, um…here," he says, marking down the side of the page. "Yes to the Catholics, no to Mora, yes to Cumberland and to the air force thing, pretty much whenever it is, OK? Uh, no, no, yes, and…I need to talk to the Senator about that one."

She stands up, relieved. "Thank you Sir," she says, and walks off.

Will stands up, stretches, and then walks down the plane to where Charles is chatting to Lizzie and Jane, Matt, Jamie and Mark. "Hi," he says. "Can I talk to you guys for a second?"

"All of us?" asks Jamie, and is rewarded with another smile.

"Yeah. Look, we've been invited to this Literary Festival in New York in about a month. I think we should probably go. What do you think?"

"Has anyone else accepted?"

Will glances at a message before him. "Dawn Lee, Christopher Schwartz, Guy Brand…they've all declined."

Charles leans forward. "What's its reputation like?"

Will shrugs. "It's small, quite new, but it's gaining ground."

Lizzie nods. "I've been a few times. It's not one of the famous ones, but it's got a great rep, and good people turn up to it."

Charles turns to her. "You've been? So you think I should go too?"

She frowns for a minute. "Yeah, I think maybe. I mean, it's a good platform to talk from, there'll be people there who are interested in rhetoric, not just in a few clever words. A well written speech might make all the difference."

"But that's not what this campaign has been about," puts in Matt. "We've been busy painting the Senator as young and fresh. Nothing will kill that quite so fast as making him stand up and recite Shakespeare."

"Plus," puts in Jaime, "we wanted people to relate to you, Sir. If you're up there saying how much you love Shakespeare, which, no doubt, you do, won't people just turn off?"

"So you guys think I shouldn't?" he asks, and rubs his neck. "Mark? What about you?"

Mark shrugs as he doodles on the pad before him. "I don't know," he says. "We certainly are working hard to present you as young and fresh, and relatable to young people. I mean, you could get a fantastic response from young voters if we can get them, and maybe this would be a bad plan. I mean, it could work, but…I'm not sure."

Charles nods slowly. "Where's Caroline? What does she think?"

Will leans back. "Oh, I think she said that it's pretty balanced. You'd look intelligent, although it could go wrong." He pauses. "Really, what it comes down to is that you could get voters, who might have equated youth with stupidity, but on the other hand, you could alienate your own voters." He pauses again. "I think not going is like we're dumbing them down."

"Exactly," says Lizzie. "They're only as dumb as we make them. No one would ever be a worse President for being more intelligent."

Charles shoots Will a look, expecting him to rave about superstitions, but instead he is staring at Lizzie. Charles grins, and then turns back to the subject in hand. "Oh, I don't know. Jane, what do you think?"

Will leans forward, eyes wide, and watches, nervously as Jane thinks for a second. "I think the others might be right. I see what you're saying Liz, but surely we'd be going against everything we've already said. I mean, we don't want to try and make him out to be another President Bartlett. That's just not who he is."

Charles nods slowly, and Will's expression darkens. "Yeah. I think you're right. I think we'll say no."

Will sits still for a moment, before sighing, and standing up. "I... OK. I guess…OK." With that, he walks off down the plane, his whole frame tense.

Fr: williamdarcy at charlesbingley

To: deathtothewiggles

Subject: re: You

Hey. Thanks for the email. I'll deal with Rich later.

I hope you're having a nice time in Washington. You're clearly well away from your brood. Otherwise you'll be down with something hideous and bang goes that commission. Not that I don't love my little nephew and nieces. They're just germ laden. You understand.

Well, it would appear that today is shaping up to be just as bad as yesterday. The Senator just turned down the opportunity to go to a Literary Festival, which, you know, fair enough, but I'm concerned about…well, frankly I can't say, but suffice to say, I'm confused and would like to fire everyone. Even myself.

Look, could you pass on to Rich to not say anything to G about George being back. It's screwing me up, because I hate keeping stuff from her, but this once maybe she doesn't need to know. Anyway, he's such a blabbermouth it'll probably come out, but if you could attempt to keep it on the down low I'd be very grateful.

All right. You go back to drawing house plans. I'll go back to organising and schmoozing. I'll try and see you guys soon. Maybe at Sam's birthday? Let me know.

Love to you and the kids when you see them,

Will

Three weeks later

I can't believe it took me this long to work it out. I mean, she's been looking pretty miserable for a few weeks, ever since the event that Pelloux threw for us, or near enough. And somehow, I didn't really notice it. I guess it came on slowly. She started looking a bit off, a bit worried, and then she just looked a bit lonely, and suddenly, I turned round yesterday, and Jane looked miserable.

"What's wrong?" I asked, and pulled her down next to me. We were sitting in the bar of the hotel in Los Angeles we were staying in, and she hadn't touched her G&T (a bad sign in itself) and then suddenly, tears came into her eyes.

"I thought it was enough," she said. "I thought the job would keep me happy but I've lost him, and I don't know how."

I'll admit, I had noticed it too. Jane had kept her distance from Charles these last few weeks, but seemed perfectly happy, and I guessed that she was just busy, but slowly, he hasn't been going downstairs to have lunch with her, hasn't come and had drinks in the evening when he's back. Slowly he has slipped through her fingers, and I don't know what to say.

"I mean," she continued, fighting the tears, "it's what Will wanted, and it's better this way, but I just…I don't think I can go on like this."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah," she said, and wiped her eyes. "I know it's horribly unprofessional, but I can't do it any longer." She turned to me, beautiful still, despite the tears. "I can't watch him meet someone else. I can't watch him with other women."

"You're leaving?"

She stood up and took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said. "I left my resignation on Will's desk earlier. He'll get it when they're back from visiting the Caldwells." She wiped her eyes, took another deep breath, and then walked out, up to her room.

And so here I am, fighting the urge to down my drink, break into Will's office, tear up her resignation, and then run to Janey and tell her everything is going to be alright. Because here's the thing. They have grown apart. She has been working hard, and he has been away a lot, and they aren't as close. I can't tell her that he won't meet someone else, no matter how smitten he was. And I can't tell her that she'll get over it and be strong, because last time, Tim Richter cheated on her, and left her destroyed for, like, a month. She can't go through that again. Maybe it's better if she does leave. It's just…what did she mean about Will?

Thanks again peeps.

Also, a long over-due shout out to LJ, who knows why.