The Isle Chapter 17, a gundam seed fanfic

Disclaimer: I own nothing of GS/GSD characters . R&R please.

Here are the Q&As from the last chapter!

1. "Why Athrun wants the asylum and freedom? Maybe to be with Cagalli? haha or he will stay in Plants after all of this end, I know I read about a House in France..but what he wants to with his asylum?"/ "Why does Athrun want an asylum?" (M.S Arashi Sumeragi/ ReaderOfThisStory)

Refer to previous chapter- Athrun offers a reason, although the objective reader might suspect otherwise. For certainty, refer to future chapters. In other words, the answer will come- eventually.

2. Shout-out to Yourmostfaithfulreader and reviewers who kindly responded to him/her, all of whom I want to reassure, is definitely welcome to review (with or without the said email address attached)!

"You can hate me if you want. this is a free world." (Yourmostfaithfulreader)

Gosh- I'd never hate simply because it was a free world. Nor do I hate because comments are unfavourable. That would be really puerile, I think.

So thank you for your reviews, and I sincerely hope you continue reading and reviewing with the suggestions some other reviewers gave on how to critique. I hope you understand that I personally welcome all reviews and have never discriminated against unfavourable ones- it's childish to. For me (and certainly for some other reviewers), criticism is only unacceptable when the opinions lack justification. Still, I'm still thankful you bothered writing in at all and assure you that I take no offence and I'd like you to continue reviewing. : )

"Other people can read this post after all and my indiscriminate use of foul language is unforgivable."

"Other people can read this post"- Well, that's the point of the review right? Reviewers can be judged by writers and even other reviewers, and the way one reviews is quite telling of the person's reading and comprehension abilities. (And that's at a minimum level!)

If someone were to point out flaws of any writer with good justification and persuasive writing, I think other reviewers would agree with that reviewer, regardless that it is criticism. Similarly, if negative comments come without support for the opinions, then it would then be open to criticism from other reviewers too, who might have supported their own negative opinions in more convincing and objective ways. Thanks to Tatoutattoo and abitofhappinesstoeat for pointing that out!

In fact, where earlier reviews of 'The Isle' were concerned, I've actually witnessed some reviewers criticising positive reviews others gave. This was because of the way the reviewer's reading was off-tangent. (i.e. the positive review had been given even when the reader had applied his/her own misconceptions of what was really going on in the chapter).

And rest assured, you were NOT using foul language. If anyone accused you of that, they shouldn't even be reading this The Isle!

But if what you wrote seemed foul to you, then I'm wondering why you wrote it at all (?) [unless you were intending to offend in the first place, which I hope wasn't the motivation for the review(?)].

Besides, I personally don't see how your post had foul language. Still, if you (or anyone) think what you wrote was foul language per se then I don't recommend watching The Osbournes.

Now that's REAL, FOUL LANGUAGE.

3. "Yzak's brief but much loved presence is also greatly appreciated (am getting ahead of myself in wishing the fiancee mentioned is Shiho Hahnenfuss? Will you consider making a story about them? I love them together!)" (shioncagalli2317)

Refer to chapter below. And yes, I love Yzak and Shiho too,(because they have matching bangs- no kidding!) and I have been trying to decide if I should continue or discard another fic that features them prominently. We'll see.

4. Shoutout to Cara410 because fanfic's PM-services are wonky:

Thank you dear, and please don't feel scared to say anything because I've yet to see anything you say that isn't backed up/ presumptuous. I'm always looking forward to you R&R-ing!

Chapter 17

"So you were spying on us." Athrun said mildly, closing the door of her room. He stalked towards Cagalli as she stood some distance away from him, feeling a bit threatened.

Guiltily, she twisted her hands, feeling rather helpless. She was aware of the fresh, clean sweat on his body, the way his scent was stronger because of his exercise. Her heart was beating fast, and she lowered her eyes, afraid to meet his.

After the aides had filed out of the training hall, each one giving her curious looks, she had waited for him to come out. The doors had closed, leaving Cartesia in there, who didn't seem to be distracted by anything at all as she continued massacring the wood targets. He'd walked past her, as if he hadn't seen her too, and she'd trailed after him, not knowing what to do.

Now, she was back in her room, and she looked at him, waiting for him to lash out.

His eyes were cold, and she seemed to have thrown away all the understanding that they'd established only so recently. And she knew it was mostly her fault.

"Don't look at me that way," Cagalli begged, still not letting go of him. "I only wanted to know why you were training those children to fight and kill. I couldn't understand why, and I just-,"

His words were uttered firmly. "You better eat your dinner before it gets any colder."

"I'm not hungry." She said in a low voice. "I just want to talk ."

He looked at her silently.

Cagalli looked at him unsurely. "You're angry with me, aren't you?"

In truth, Athrun had known that she would not stay in her room. Telling her to stay he knew, was like giving her a reason not to. But he had wanted this- he hadn't wanted to hide that from her anymore.

"I'm not angry," He told her mildly. "I didn't expect you to stay put anyway. Frankly Cagalli, I knew it was a matter of time that I'd have to tell you about them. So don't feel guilty even when you did sneak around and spy on us. It was in your nature."

"Besides," Athrun added, "Now I can punish you for disobeying me."

She felt warmth flush into her face as he turned her head to his, almost putting a soft kiss on her lips. She half-closed her eyes, preparing herself to feel his lips against hers, but he never did kiss her.

"Settle all you need to first." Athrun told her, abruptly moving away and standing up. "In the meantime, I'll decide about your punishment for disobeying me."

He smiled suddenly, an honest, entirely unguarded smile that evoked so many memories in her that she felt like she was torn apart.

After he'd left, Cagalli set to her dinner. She picked at it, unable to stomach much after she'd seen the way the aides had trained.

But even after seeing how frightening his aides could be, Cagalli knew she had come to accept Athrun. She knew he wasn't quite comfortable or assured, now that she had seen the aides with their weapons, but tonight, Cagalli promised herself, she would tell him at least this.

Cagalli wanted to tell him that it didn't matter what he was doing anymore. It only mattered that he trusted her, and that he believed that she trusted him.

As soon as she'd finished her dinner, Cagalli decided not to wait for him to come. She took a quick bath, freshening herself, and realised that as the days had gone by, she'd grown accustomed to all of this.

Athrun had been right when he'd told her that she'd learn how to live on the Isle all those months ago. While she hadn't believed him then, she believed him she entered his room, she saw that he had finished his bath too, and was sitting up in bed as usual, although he wasn't reading. A sense of familiarity washed over her, and eagerly, she moved to him.

But at the same time, she knew that she had to be careful. They were slipping into this pattern of routine, habit and assurance, and security with him was not something she should have felt.

His eyes were closed and his fingers wrapped around a thin champagne flute. A bottle had been opened, near the bedside table, and a small smile was playing on his lips. It was unguarded and a bit wistful, and Cagalli wondered what he was thinking of.

Now, Athrun opened his eyes, looking at her. Cagalli had put on her white silk robe again, and he could remember how warm she'd been those nights ago.

"You were taking forever." She told him reproachfully, taking the glass flute from his hand and sipping a little.

Without initiation, Cagalli slipped into his bed as he scooted over a little. And she cuddled up to him, bringing them even closer. He was aware of how frightening she was- how she could seem like his lover and how natural it seemed for them to be like this.

"Aren't you afraid to be here?" He said quietly. "You saw them-,"

"I'm not." She told him bravely. "I know you don't want to be this person you are to them. And I know they sense it."

She watched his eyes widen, and she continued. "Why do you think they respect you so much? Why do you think they do everything they can to please you?"

And not knowing what else she could do, Cagalli brushed her lips across his, and her arms drew tightly around him. She had meant to tell him that no matter what he did, she accepted him because she trusted him. While words failed her, she wanted to tell him still.

He suddenly broke their kisses though, pulling away slightly when she tried pressing herself against him as she tried to kiss him.

"What?" Cagalli said awkwardly, looking up at him. "Am I a bad kisser or something?"

"God, no." Athrun laughed. He smiled softly.

This was Athrun Zala, she still thought to herself then. This was the man who she could never forget, no matter if she'd tried to or wanted to. As she attempted to hug him, she ran her hands across his broad chest, enjoying the smoothness of his skin.

But he broke away again.

"Cagalli-," He held onto her shoulders, cutting off her protests and looking at her. "Is there another contract you want to make?"

Her expression fell and she shifted slightly. "I'm not sure I want to call it a contract- I mean,-, She looked up at him tentatively. "I'd like you to tell me more about you, about Epstein and the twins. But I know you'll tell me when you're ready. Besides, I'd want to please you even if you didn't tell me or chose not to. And this-," She looked at him pleadingly, trying to find the words but failing to. "It has nothing to do with our past contracts."

Athrun remained silent for a while, then nodded. "Then we should stop this. No more contracts on top of the existing ones."

"Fine," Cagalli said boldly, cutting him off because she was afraid of what she thought he would say next. She shifted slightly, her thighs brushing against his, and he had to bite back a moan.

"Hey!" He said sharply, "Didn't I just explain-,"

"Yeah, I got that," She replied teasingly. "This is for my disobeying you."

"Wait- ah-," His voice was quite representative of the discomfort that was getting to him.

"Or maybe I should have made it clearer, Athrun," She added, "I don't believe in owing anyone anything, and there's still that letter I haven't settled." Cagalli began lifting her chin a little, turning her head as if threatening to kiss him.

Half of her was afraid that Athrun would offer information without her having to trade in something for it, and she was afraid she would end up telling him of her feelings. But at the same time, Cagalli wanted to be honest with him.

In the meantime, Athrun was probably having another kind of dilemma.

She watched him panicking. Athrun shifted away, but she leaned closer to him from where she lay on the bed, but he held her away.

"I'm playing a zero-sum game when it concerns you," Athrun argued, "I end up getting addicted to being with you, and you always feel a need to know more."

Muttering something, Athrun got off the bed in a hurry she had never seen him in before. It made her chuckle, because he looked younger and more clumsy than she had ever noticed, and the steel in his eyes seemed to have vanished completely. Flustered, he rubbed his face with his hand and peered at her throw the crack his fingers afforded. Laughing at Athrun, she began to tease him.

"It's not like we haven't done anything before you know," Cagalli said huskily, watching him. "Unless you're telling me you didn't like it."

"Don't be silly," He said awkwardly. "I don't want anything of that sort now as your punishment, even if I did like it."

"But if that was fine with you, why don't you take me now?" She said softly. "It's not like I want anything in return this time."

He paused, but then shook his head. "I can't. It isn't because I don't want to or because I don't trust you, Cagalli."

His eyes regarded her gravely, and he looked so serious that she wondered if he was making a vow of sorts to himself and her. "It's for the same reasons I made clear to myself in the past. I want to understand you more- I want to know you like the back of my hand."

"That way," He said wistfully, "I won't feel like you were a stranger even when you leave."

Cagalli bit her lips, feeling somehow very touched. This wasn't the first time she had heard words like these from men, but hearing these from him meant so much to her. It struck her too, that he meant every word he was saying. Either that, or anything he said would be believable to her because she already had feelings for him.

But she had so much more to learn about him too, and she would be damned if she didn't find out. If she grew too attached to him for that, then so be it. If she had to be a fool, at least she was his fool, Cagalli thought.

"Alright." Cagalli agreed. She looked at him timidly now, losing all her nerve quite suddenly. "I'm not trying to make use of you. I admit I tried to- I wanted to. But I can't do that anymore because you aren't some stranger to me."

He didn't know why he refused, but it didn't seem right to take her then, when there were so many secrets left. Lyra too, was still a stain on his memory, although being with Cagalli now was healing him for that.

When he had left Lyra, Athrun thought soberly, she had blessed him and wished him happiness, whoever he was to find it with. And in some way, Lyra had led him back to Cagalli. He wasn't sure if it was fair that he felt even this kind of happiness by being with Cagalli.

But at least, Athrun realised, Lyra had been at peace for once.

He had no time to consider anymore, for Cagalli got off the bed and moved into his arms, beginning to undo his shirt again. She looked at him with half-lidded eyes and tiptoed a little, trying to kiss him.

How he was enjoying himself. She was doing the pursuing now, Athrun realised, and he was reminded of how direct she used to be in the past, how ridiculously, attractively careless she was in dispensing affection and telling him of her thoughts. With some surprise, he realised that she had finally been stripped bare of her walls and he'd found that she hadn't really changed in all these years. She was still his spitfire. She was reckless, no doubt, but that was why he'd been so taken with her. He'd never met anyone more foolish or lovely than her, and now Cagalli was before him once more.

The thought of that made him taut, but he ignored himself and said hastily, "You can't!

"Why not?" Cagalli said inquisitvely, and Athrun found himself relenting and confessing the truth.

"If you kiss me like that, let alone do more," He said drolly, "I'll go crazy. Don't laugh at me- I'll just break down."

"Alright," She said smilingly, grinning at how easily he could say these things and liking how natural she felt with him.

He ran a hand through his hair haphazardly and she studied him, admiring the muscle of his arms and how beautiful he was.

"I haven't had a woman in a while," He admitted, "And every time you come near me, I feel like I'm being driven up the wall. When you touched me the last time, I actually thought I was going to die. It's incredibly embarrassing," He said weakly.

She chuckled, although she blushed a little. "I could have said the same when you did-" Her voice faltered. "-that-," She cast her eyes down now, afraid to look at him. "I've never felt that before."

His eyes widened. "You mean nobody ever let you feel that before?"

She paused, then took a risk. "No. I just-, nobody's-," She looked down, unable to continue. "-I thought it was wrong."

"Oh," He said in wonder. Then his expression grew dark. "But it's not, Cagalli. Not when you want it and the person wants to give you pleasure. You wanted it, didn't you? I wanted to give it to you. And you deserve it- you deserve so much more."

She blushed even deeper, ignoring the small sound of protest he made as she pressed herself to him while pushing him down onto the bed.

He caught sight the beads of water trickling down the valley of her breasts and murmured, "All that's missing are those crabs."

"What?" She asked, not really remembering.

In response, he flipped her over, kissing her neck and whispering, "Remember the first time we met?" She remembered and coloured. "Oh. That. You remembered?"

He nodded. He certainly did. He had to. He could never forget.

He was only human, he thought desperately to himself, in love with another. Stripped of his his weapons, his defences and his sophistication, he was only the young soldier who had met the girl with hair and eyes like the sun. Nothing had changed. He had been unable to respond to her in the way he wanted to, and even now, he was wondering how to draw her near without losing his head completely.

"You called them stowaways, didn't you?" Cagalli laughed. She shook her head bashfully. "I must have embarrassed us both back then."

And suddenly, Athrun was not sure of himself anymore. If he had thought that he was in control of the present even if he hadn't been in the past, he was suddenly aware that the past hadn't gone anywhere.

She'd taught him to be Athrun Zala and not a mere soldier. Wasn't that the same now, even if she had forgotten what it meant to be Cagalli Yula Atha and not the Orb Princess? While with her, he wasn't the Fifth Eye, Rune Estragon. This woman wasn't a pawn- she wasn't just someone who'd disappear in the morning. At least, he didn't want her to be that.

"Cagalli," He said, raising his voice a little, "This is dangerous."

"I know." Her voice was quiet. "But that's why I'm attracted to you. That's why I tried to fight you, Athrun. Because I knew I'd become attracted to you, all over again. But it's pointless, isn't it?"

She kissed him quite suddenly, and he felt her tongue tease him.

Just like in the past, he had no need to show her tolerance, to be kind to her, or to even pay attention to her. But if he had been attracted to her as a young soldier, he was dependent on her now. One couldn't be wise and in love at the same time.

Now, Athrun moved to Cagalli, letting her circle him with her arms and pull him towards her. If he had been able to articulate himself then, he would have simply told her that he belonged to her. He always had. She had always left that mark on him that had sustained and tortured him in so many ways, and for her to acknowledge that gave him a joy that obliterated the pain that had once come with the ability she had given him- the ability to feel.

"I know what I want for your punishment." Athrun decided. "I want you to tell me about your childhood- all those embarrassing secrets."

"Hey, that's not fair!-"

He cut off her attempts to negotiate, and kissed her deeply. She responded eagerly, trying to dominate him. When he rolled over her, preventing her from doing that, she began squirming underneath him. Then like schoolchildren, they teased and chortled for no real reason at all, save that they knew they were at peace with each other.

Soon, they were play-wrestling, unashamed of their states, unashamed of how childish they were being. His laughter rang out in the room, and she was giggling uncontrollably now.

The air was cool inside the room as it played on their bared torsos. When they grew tired of wrestling each other, they lay on their stomachs, gazing at each other and laughing, as if one had told a joke the other had appreciated. The mutual understanding had deepened, and they spoke of unimportant things, a man and woman who were not really lovers and could never be. Nevertheless, they were equals- companions worthy of each other, two who were now beginning to understand each other.

They spoke of all the pets she'd found and tried to keep. There had been a cat that had run away after she had found it injured and cared for it.

"Ungrateful thing," Cagalli laughed, leaning forward and shifting her weight to her palms and arms that supported her weight, looking at him.

She kicked her legs in the air while she lay on her stomach.

He tilted his head, observing her, realising that she had changed since the last time he had seen her. That night, she had been frightened, unsure even. But tonight, she was no longer as hesitant. He liked it this way, Athrun realised. This was how it was meant to be with her.

Mildly, Athrun replied, "It probably had no affinity with the fate of becoming a pampered pet."

"Just as well." Cagalli conceded. "I wouldn't have been able to look after it."

"Why not?" Athrun questioned. She seemed like the sort who would substitute humans with animals to feel less lonely.

"Because it would need regular meals." She rattled off, ticking off the things that dogs needed. "And constant attention, despite it being a supposedly self-sufficient, selfish four-legged thing. Did you ever have a pet like that?"

"Hey, hey." He laughed. "Wasn't this supposed to be about you? Why are you turning the questions on me?"

She hit him lightly with a pillow snorting. "Oh come on, it isn't supposed to be a monologue, right?"

Athrun shook his head, touching her shoulders as he pulled her into his arms. "I never had a pet as a child, nor have I ever had one."

"Why?" Cagalli was curious. "Surely, a little prince like yourself would have every toy he wanted, and every demand met as soon as if fell from his lips?"

He looked at her with some cynicism. "Perhaps for you. You were the little princess, not me."

"Well I've seen your photographs with Kira," She retorted. "And you look like the sort who got spoilt. All namby-pamby with a beret that matches your vest."

He laughed good-naturedly, and she took his face in her hands, liking how open he was being with her. His eyes twinkled. "Far from it, actually. They were quite strict with me, especially my father."

"I don't believe you." Cagalli declared.

He chuckled. "But it's true! How do you think they convinced me to put on that ghastly mint beret? My mother said it matched my eyes, and when I wasn't convinced, my father just banged his fist on his desk and ordered me to wear whatever my mother thought looked nice on me."

"So you were a good little boy then," Cagalli smiled indulgently. "No pet as a reward for that?"

Athrun shook his head, drawing away from her suddenly. "I was denied a puppy I brought home from some dump one day. The irony was that my father claimed that he was allergic to animal fur- despite being absent from the home for most part."

His eyes darkened. "And he wasn't allergic to fur either. Turned out that he just didn't want me wasting my time, as he called it, playing with animals."

"What did you do with the puppy?" Cagalli said curiously.

"I was instructed to bring it to the pound." Athrun said lightly, although she saw something in his face numb before her. "I left it there. Never even got to name it, because my father said that naming things made one affectionate towards it."

"Well, that's not too bad still," She said cheerfully in her ignorance. "At least someone would be able to adopt it."

He laughed scornfully. "Did you think anyone did?"

And suddenly, she knew that the pound would not have told the young boy that the puppy he was entrusting to them would not be simply cleaned and fed.

It, along with so many other unwanted animals, would be put to sleep because the resources of the pound were already being overstretched.

He shook his head, smiling ruefully. "If you've never understood my father as a politican, Cagalli, then you're less likely to understand him as a person, let alone a child of his."

"But he loved you, didn't he?" She whispered.

He looked at her with that numbed mixture of disappointment, misery and scorn reserved for any mention of his father. "He loved me because of my mother. He made it quite clear from the start that I was supposed to be the final jewel of his portfolio- that I was dispensable anyway. I was a backup for him, and he knew that if I ever made it in life, it was because of him. Always his efforts, not mine. That's why he wasn't impressed that I slogged to become a Redcoat or later, a pilot. He had it all planned in certain ways- even if I hadn't slogged, I'd still have been brought into the elite. Yzak Joule knows that himself- as did Nicol Amalfi and Dearka Elseman. Why do you think my father denied me that puppy? Because Patrick Zala didn't need a dog, even if I wanted one."

She remembered what Athrun had told her during her first dinner here with him. He'd told her about the elite families of Plant, and how they'd have been elites even if they hadn't let for space. Everything was coming full circle now. But this time, she realised that his own involvement with that history was really the link between him and his father, or the lack thereof.

Still, Cagalli wondered if Athrun was wrong. Surely, parents all cared for their children in certain ways? But she saw how Athrun's face had become paler than ever, and she decided to broach the subject another time. She kissed his shoulder lightly, and felt him draw her nearer as he began to relax.

"What about other children back at the Plants?" Cagalli questioned. "Did their parents think they were too old for pets? I know that in your society, thirteen year olds are equivalent to twenty-one old Naturals."

"It's Coordinator law that we are considered adults when they reach thirteen." Athrun replied. "By the time I was thirteen, I was living alone, and I could have had a dog if I wanted. The problem was that I was seven when I wanted that puppy."

He reached over and began playing with a lock of her hair that had slipped past her ear, kissing the lobe tenderly and pushing her hair back.

"If a thirteen year old had his own property and wanted a pet, he could have one," Athrun informed her, "Just like how he wouldn't need his parents' permission by then. That's like how most twenty-one year old Naturals wouldn't have to marry or get a car with their parents' consent by that age."

"Drive!" Cagalli said in amazement. She shifted back to look at him.

"I took lessons at twelve and started driving officially at thirteen." Athrun told her, "And I crashed into a random fire hydrant that promptly became a fountain. But I was still legal."

He shrugged, looking at her and grinning that smile of his quite suddenly.

She laughed with him. "So, what else do thirteen year old Coordinators do?"

"The usual things." Athrun replied distractedly. "Most pursue higher forms of education and the rest find jobs."

She gave a low whistle and marvelled at this, even though she had heard and knew of such a society before. "I was still schooling when I was thirteen."

"Schooling in the convent as part of your finishing education, right?" He said curiously. She shifted a little, feeling a bit uncomfortable with that bit of her history.

"Actually," Cagalli said warily. "I don't think I've told you that before."

"No, you didn't. I found out from Lacus." He lied smoothly.

In fact, the Numbers had some information about Cagalli that even Athrun realised he knew little of when he'd been given those files. And even then, those were incomplete databases about her. Now however, he had her in his arms, and if he played his cards right, Athrun realised, she'd tell him everything he needed to know.

Unaware of his thoughts, she accepted his embrace and closed her eyes, basking in his warmth.

"I convinced my father to let me learn in a school." Cagalli said hesitantly. She was suddenly aware that she had never really spoken of this to anyone. Nobody had ever asked to know who she had been before she had become the Orb Princess.

"I'd only been home schooled up to that point, so I thought it would be good to go and see what I could of the world. My father let me go eventually, but it was all undercover, of course." Cagalli said reminiscently.

She tapped her fingers absently on Athrun's other arm. Already, she was using one as a pillow, and now, she used the other as a drum. He laughed, pulling a lock of her hair lightly, in retaliation.

"I didn't want to be home schooled for all my life- I wanted a nice, common public school where I could be normal for once. My perception of a public school was very Enid Blyton-ish, I'm afraid."

Cagalli buried her face in his chest, her voice muffled. "I thought school would allow me to try studying with others, participating in lacrosse, winning matches while nursing a sprain and getting friends who had their own quirks and idiosyncrasies and horses."

She laughed awkwardly. "That sort of romanticised bull."

"And then you were sent to a convent." He announced dryly. "Shock of the century?"

"Yes," Cagalli admitted, lifting her head and looking at him. "It was still a rather posh, finishing private school- a convent, actually. It wasn't a school for normal girls."

"So no lacrosse, no pink lemonade, no tartan skirts, no horses, no pets, no communal vegetable garden." Athrun ticked off.

"Well, there wasn't any of that, not even a vegetable garden. But there were loads of those green patches. There was this gardener though- this rather handsome young man whom the girls used to fight over. Never even learnt his name." Cagalli said absent-mindedly.

"Unbelievable." Athrun laughed. "He was the only worthy male specimen in a whole field of females and you didn't remember his name?"

She chuckled. "Really. Well, other than him, it was no man's land. The matron and all the staff were all nuns. There were a few males, but there were all ancient professors who were about as virile as amoeba."

"No fear of any sexual harassment then," He said dryly.

Cagalli squinted at him. "Yeah, but there was that kind of sexism I had to get used to."

"It was an all-girls convent!" He said in amazement. "How do they discriminate then?"

"The usual," Cagalli said comfortably, suggesting that she'd long become used to it even if she hadn't quite accepted it. "But you have to understand who these girls were. They were as rich as you can imagine. There was this girl who felt really out of place because her father was only a millionaire. That sort of thing. They liked to talk all day long about fashionable clothes, movie stars, the only good-looking male in the school grounds, the nuns being old crusty women who couldn't get laid- you get the picture."

"It was filled with normal girls then." He said objectively. "Who happened to be filthy rich."

She replied a bit reluctantly, noting the amusement in his face. "I wouldn't say that. A few of them were very down-to-earth, but that was all in private when I got to really know them. Most of them kept with appearances."

He raised a thin, quirked brow. "Appearances?"

"I mean," Cagalli said defensively. "How else can you behave when you've been born into riches? Most of the girls went along with how they were treated normally as daughters of tycoons and royal-bloods, so on and so forth. There didn't seem to be any other way to behave- speaking in posh accents, ordering others around, the whole works. And that's the whole point, really. Most of them were sent to finishing school to learn to be social butterflies. And the nuns and professor kept stressing that to us- that as ladies, we had to be concerned with appearances and manners and all that, because that was what our lives would be all about."

"And were you on good terms with these girls?" Athrun asked interestedly. He had never heard her speak of her experiences in school before. Nor had those files recorded any of this, even if he'd briefly read that she'd attended some posh finishing school before sneaking off to Heliopolis for some unknown reason, then apparently making it back to Orb before running off to some desert again.

Cagalli grinned. "Very good terms. Would you believe it? I still keep in contact with some of them, but they're all seeing or married to rich husbands and changed a bit."

"Did you all learn that from finishing school?" Athrun asked sarcastically, being unable to resist a barb. "How to get a worthy husband?"

"Actually," She said simply, ignoring him. "We all knew how to play the game even before we entered finishing school. We behaved in classes, learnt social etiquette and the role of women in politics and those sorts of useless things without so much as a whine or complaint during the classes when your manner of holding a teacup was scrutinised."

"That's useful." Athrun remarked. She looked at him in approval, and they both cracked up.

"If we had rebelled openly," Cagalli told him "The nuns would have waged war against us. They had a huge, knobbly walking stick with a pink, frilly bow tied around its end. Its name was Cathy-Anne. Cane, for short."

Athrun allowed himself an uncharacteristic, rather open snort.

"I got punished quite a bit." Cagalli told him.

He noticed, with great amusement, that she said this proudly.

"Once, I was late for class and I had to kneel for three hours in the confession room. And there was another time when I corrected a sister, who complained to the Head that I was being impudent. I got locked in a cellar for a whole day. That was the most minor form of punishment, by the way. The most popular one was being told to go into the chapel, to kneel in front of the cross half naked, and to flay oneself with the whip."

"You don't seem to be the sort who would have stood for that kind of oppression." Athrun pointed out.

"None of us were, actually. But we all rebelled in different ways." Cagalli admitted. She buried her face near his shoulder, recalling those old days. "I and a few others insisted on asking questions about politics rather than the woman's role in politics, and the nuns had to single a few of us out and put us in separate lessons. They had no choice but to cater to what I wanted to learn, since that was the nature of a finishing school."

"So you ended up learning more than you should have ever bothered with." Athrun said matter-of-factly.

She nodded with some rather justified pride.

"And that was your own way of rebelling, wasn't it?" He realised. "You went into a system that was supposed to teach you to be a pretty, empty-headed doll, but you learnt politics while in it."

Cagalli laughed, lifting her head and turning it to look at him again. "I'd like to think so, yes, and I'd be flattered if you thought so too. I suspect my father thought I'd be so fed up in there that I was determined to learn every single thing I could."

"Other girls too?"

"Well, the other girls did rebel in their own ways. Not all of them could accept their fates as pawns of the upper society."

He laughed as well. "Tell me what they did."

"When class was over, nobody bothered listening to the nuns' warnings against the world beyond the gates of the school." Cagalli said conspiratorially. "They just did what they wanted to do, and they had the money and mobility to support it. Can you imagine a fleet of cars parked in cubed slots?"

He nodded. He was fascinated by everything that Cagalli had never told him of before, enthralled by how much he was learning about a person who he was supposed to be a stranger to.

"That's what the area near the school field looked like. Nearly all my classmates drove their own cars. Those who didn't were chauffeured anyway. There was even this girl who sat behind me- she used to jet over weekends and model for one of those Parisian couture houses."

"Funny," Athrun remarked, "I'm surprised you didn't kick up a fuss about being sent to one of those posh finishing schools."

She grinned. "It was rather like a compromise- my father allowed me to get out of home-tutoring, but I could only go to that sort of school. I was disappointed, but I thought I'd learn more about the world than if I continued to be home-schooled."

Athrun himself had been sent to private schools for all his life, save pre-school and the Coordinator equivalent of universities in Earth Alliance what he understood of schoolgirls did not depend on whether they were from private or public schools. Schoolgirls talked the hind legs off donkeys and flirted with every boy that caught their eye- it was their way. Convent girls however, were not exactly schoolgirls. They were worse.

They were notorious for being the wildest girls in town as well; behaving as though they'd never seen boys before, which was probably accurate.

Yet, Athrun could hardly imagine Cagalli comparing notes on what to wear and which was the latest fashion boutique in town. He wondered if she had blended into a school like that.

"Your father must have taken great pains to make sure that you behaved yourself like the other upper-class girls." Athrun considered.

"Mostly so," She conceded. "He always stressed the importance of putting one's toes behind the line, although he never really practised what he preached."

Cagalli frowned to herself. "But it wasn't so bad because nobody had seen his heir in public before. I was introduced as the daughter of some oil tycoon, and nobody really cared about the details in a school filled with billionaires' daughters and that sort of people."

"I never knew that." Athrun said honestly and in surprise. Even the files he had gotten on Cagalli had not prepared him for what was to follow.

"My father's name was never brought up even once, since I did care enough about his reputation to come out with a perfectly clean record." She said proudly.

"Perfectly clean." He echoed, his lips twitching. She glared at him.

"Mind you, I was a very well-behaved girl; for fear that my identity would be brought up one day and used against me. Next to the others, I was very tame."

"What's our definition of tame?" Athrun said archly. "The tiger you see in the zoo? The one that looks bored while the keepers feed it- the same one that mauls the keepers for fun one day?"

He looked at her hair and eyes, the gold that caught the light and seemed to be flaming, and he thought of her temper and spirited nature. He thought of how she'd touched him and how bold she could be, and he had to fight back a shiver of anticipation.

"Let's just say that the upper-class convent girls were some of the most badly-behaved teenagers I had the pleasure of meeting." Cagalli said bluntly. "Parties, drugs, casual sex with one fling after another; they had everything, so they tried more. I had a shock when I first attended."

He kept quiet, thinking of how the Zaft barracks had featured the same disillusioned, quietly desperate and uninhibited youngsters. Maybe they were all the same, he thought wistfully. They'd all wanted one last chance to live before they died.

"Once, I snuck off to the gardens once to get a breath of fresh air but found a whole group having a smoking party in the greenhouse. And there was another time I walked in on a classmate and the gardener. They were fooling around-," She broke off, blushing.

"Maybe it made sense to live like that, in some perverse way. Going from party to party, boy to boy, weekend to weekend. My father probably wasn't aware of what the girls really did outside classes. Either that, or he took a gamble and supposed that I would emerge quite alright."

"And he never made it known that you were sent to that school?" Athrun asked interestedly. It had never made sense to him that her going to that school had been part of the classified information files.

She rolled her eyes. "He didn't even reveal who I was until I graduated from finishing school! The media hated him because he refused to let them in on his private life, and by extension, mine."

"For your sake?"

She snorted. "It wasn't for my sake, that's for sure. Even before I came into the picture, he was a tough nut to crack. But the media still tolerated him because he knew when and where to ham it up."

His own father had been that way too, charismatic to the point of being slightly flamboyant in the political arena, but silent and grave in his own home.

"Uzumi Nara Atha wasn't exactly a pawn of the government, unlike many of the Orb nobles before him." Athrun said thoughtfully. He thought of how Uzumi Nara Atha had set up weapon factories in Heliopolis despite claiming to follow strict ideals that were based on Orb's foreign policy.

She nodded. "I think so too. When the Orb Council of Elders in charge of the Orb nobles asked him to marry at the stipulated age, he entertained a few choice candidates, and then backed out on all of them quite suddenly."

Athrun had heard something of this, but hearing it from Cagalli herself was another matter altogether.

This was the missing bit of the puzzle, he realised. This was the gap those files had never filled. He stared at her intently, listening carefully.

"It was mayhem every time." She revealed, laughing a bit. "Kisaka told me that the Lord Atha put off weddings for nearly five years before he went and adopted a child at the age of twenty-nine. It was way past the stipulated age, but my father somehow managed to get away with it for some time because Orb had been distracted by the then-political events. And he only adopted to satisfy the clauses the Orb Council of Elders was threatening him with- the law that the Head of Orb must have an heir that can succeed him or her."

"And that child was you." Athrun confirmed. No doubt, Uzumi Nara Atha had bent, if not, broken the rules.

Now, however, Cagalli dropped a bomb.

"No, actually." She admitted. "I wasn't the child my father chose to adopt. He wouldn't have adopted a girl, that's for sure. It was just by accident."

"What?" His voice rose in disbelief. Athrun himself had often pondered over Lord Atha's choice. The choice heir was usually presumable to be male. The fact that Lord Uzumi had chosen a girl had seemed to be a matter of spiting the Council on purpose.

"He had asked for a baby boy, which would make more sense than getting a girl as the heir to the Atha name and Orb's power." Cagalli told him. "But the orphanages were not told who was adopting because it was a top-secret operation."

"I sense sexism in here." He muttered.

Cagalli sighed, looking at him. "Let's face it. If he had a son, the son would have had fewer problems getting into politics and all that. Say what you like about gender equality- it remains that women are seen as less competent in politics."

He coughed back his laughter. "The Orb Council of Elders must have had a field day when you arrived."

"Maybe the orphanages didn't think much of the matter, since anyone could be adopting anybody." Cagalli considered. "They probably didn't even look carefully at the specified criteria the Council had set in secret. They probably said, oh choosy, picky adoptive parents again and picked out the first baby that was available. That's why my father and the Council never got a baby that looked anything like what they'd specified for."

"They sent a girl." Athrun said bluntly. "They sent you."

"The Council was confounded," Cagalli admitted, "And there was a restructuring after the incident. I heard the intelligence officers who made the mistake of miscommunication were demoted and placed under a lifetime vow of silence where the adoption issue was concerned."

Athrun realised the implications of letting loose lips exist. "It would be unwise to let Orb and the rest of the world think that Lord Atha was shirking his royal duties of producing an heir by adopting one."

"Exactly." Cagalli agreed.

"Couldn't they send you back?" Athrun said, more curious than ever to hear what Cagalli had decided to reveal to him. He felt a surge of tenderness and empathy for the little child who had been caught in a tidal wave of politics and intrigue, swept to a place without knowing why. The child had grown up to become the Princess of Orb.

The child then was the woman lying next to him now. And surely, the same emotions she evoked in him now were borne in Lord Uzumi when he had looked at the child then.

She shook her head, and the light swung off her hair, illuminating her head. "They wanted to. The officials posing as the adopting couple were instructed to try and convince the orphanage to take me back. But it never happened."

"Why?"

She looked at him, smiling pensively.

Her voice was very soft. "The council was still trying to find a way to send the child back without revealing that the real adoptive parent was Orb's head. But the orphanage was not willing to take the child back when there was no real reason the supposed couple could offer. The council could not come clean about the whole issue either. Kisaka tells me that my father was enraged when the mistake was made. I think he very much wanted a son- or as little mess as possible where the whole issue was concerned."

From the nervousness of her body, it looked as if she was still trying to come to terms with whatever she was going to tell him.

"Besides, the Elders had already given him grief over his decision to adopt, and getting a girl instead of the intended boy was even more of a problem. So he refused to lay eyes on the child that had arrived at the Atha Manor, but the housekeeper saw to the child personally. The housekeeper had been Mana at that time."

There was a line that connected them now, an invisible thread that wound around their forms, and he wondered if he had ever known so much about her.

He wrapped her in his embrace, wanting to keep her warm.

She grimaced. "At that time, my father fell sick with the flu and was resting at home instead of being at the office. Apparently, he woke up when he heard a baby crying and shouted a few times for the housekeeper, but nobody had been around then. So my father had gotten up and stumbled to the kitchen. He found the child in a cradle there. Of course, it was the wrong child he hadn't even set eyes on yet."

"And Kisaka told me," Cagalli said in a hushed voice, "That Lord Atha picked the child up and eventually wanted the child he hadn't meant to receive."

"So you stayed there from then on, growing up in that estate." Athrun murmured.

He rolled to his side, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to do the same so that they faced each other now.

They were both huddled together, but he felt that he had grasped something of her that only he knew of, something that he would never want to let go of.

"He cancelled the Council of Elders' plans to send me back," She said numbly. "And in the same week, the Council of Elders' spokesperson announced to Orb that Lord Atha's daughter had been born. The identity of his wife and the child was never revealed, but their presences were presumed from then on. He was too popular and nobody really protested or asked for evidence of his marriage and the child that had been born. So I grew up in that estate. I never really left it, because there was no need to."

Athrun remembered the Atha Estate. It was a bit of a small island in itself, a large house, large enough to fit thirty people quite comfortably, with a gazebo, a sizeable forested-area for riding and hunting. Of course, Cagalli Yula Atha had famously banned hunting of any sort whenever she held any soirees in her estate, or rather, when she was obliged to.

It was a beautiful estate, Athrun knew. There was even a small tributary of the main Orb river that flowed through the estate, a little spot they'd often taken walks by in their time together when he'd been Alex Dino.

"It was a world in itself." She said quietly, sensing his reminiscence. Her expression was a bit wistful. "And even now, it remains that way."

She looked back at him, smiling lightly. "While I was growing up, Kisaka was promoted to the head of Orb's national security council. Apparently, the paparazzi used to trail around the estate like scavengers, looking for anything that suggested a child's presence. He'd frighten them away, I heard."

"I've never seen any photograph of you as a child." Athrun agreed. "Because of the security and secrecy?"

"Yes. After a few years, the paparazzi didn't bother. Most of Orb didn't really quite care who Uzumi Nara Atha's heir was as long as there was one." Cagalli sighed. "And even when he never appeared to have married, the paparazzi assumed he had married in secret and quietly too. It's not uncommon in Orb if the council advices the noble to marry that way."

The council was made up of nobles themselves. These were nobles who had given up their power in order to give impartial advice for the currently ruling nobles and by extension, Orb.

"Why do you have to listen to them?" Athrun asked abruptly. "I know it's the law to heed their advice, but surely there are some decisions you must make for yourself?"

She shrugged. "There's enough decision for the nobles to make the decisions that matter to Orb. Besides, there's such a high level of secrecy in the name of impartiality, that I've never met some of the key leaders of the Council of Elders even once. It'd be difficult to convince them all that they were wrong on any issue without disobeying them outright. You see, they make their own decisions, then rely on one spokesperson. This spokesperson then advises the current Orb nobles who still hold power. The same spokesperson controls what's put out to the public that concerns the Orb nobles. Currently, this spokesperson is Siegfried Rohm- the person who reports to me at times to suggest actions the Council advises me to follow."

Athrun understood that it wasn't merely a suggestion but an order for most part. He was aware of such a deep level of control of the royals, and he understood that it was for the sake of the public anyway.

If the royals, who had all the power in Orb aside from the elected government, were to run amok with their spending, their social lives, and make poor choices where their life-partners were concerned, Orb would be thrown into problems.

"So it is this Council of Elders that decides when it is best for the nobles to appear in public, get married, have heirs, all of that." Cagalli said wearily. "But it seemed that the then-head of the council was personally involved in my father's wishes to adopt a child. With the head's approval, my father was allowed to adopt instead of having to marry. The whole process was never made public at any one point."

"So entering a private school was relatively easy, considering that you had been hidden for twelve years." Athrun concluded.

Everything was fitting together now, he realised. This information she had given him plugged all the gaps that had ever existed- filled in all he had ever wondered about her past.

She nodded looking up finally. "I managed to complete schooling at one of those high-class convent finishing schools without revealing my identity. But it wasn't that difficult anyway. Nobody was interested in anybody except themselves, at that school. I wore an expensive uniform like all the other girls, I had pierced ears, and I liked sports cars even if I didn't care for fashion."

"Some similarities with those brats then," He chuckled.

Cagalli shrugged. "Overall, I was like them, I was considered rich, had a decent allowance, and was therefore considered normal- even if I rode a bicycle and didn't have my own chauffeur and limousine. I wasn't a freak, and I fit in. Nobody's really interested in who a person appears to be as long as they fit into the mould of what's acceptable."

It occurred to him that there was irony in her words without her realising it.

"And what about now?" Athrun said intently, staring at her. "When the Orb Princess returned during the First War and became who she is today, did anyone in Orb bother looking deeper?"

She bit her lips, dropping her gaze.

"It doesn't matter," Cagalli said fitfully. "The Council of Elders is supportive of me as long as I do what's best for Orb."

The Orb nobles had relied on this Council since time memorial. Everything of their social lives was to be planned and allocated in a way that allowed the greatest good for the greatest number.

When Lord Uzumi had been asked to marry, it was at a time when Orb was prospering and political votes were most likely to be secured with an apparent heir.

His eyes fell to Cagalli. She, by Fate's hands, had become that child.

And he recalled the short time during which he had been her bodyguard. No wonder, so many had praised her beauty and intelligence with exclamations upon her return to Orb, as if they had never quite met her before. She had always been awkward with being introduced as the Orb Princess.

He had thought it was simply awkwardness in general, but clearly, he had been wrong.

Why had he never pieced all this together?

No wonder, a few looked at her with slight scepticism, as if they were not sure if she was the Orb Princess who had lived in secrecy for most of her life. No wonder that Cagalli had not been used to being introduced as the Orb Princess.

And Athrun was glad then, that he had decided to play her game. While they seemed to be a merely pitiful act of what lovers were, at least, he was lying next to her now.

Even if this was merely his duty to make her stay, at least he had learnt something about her that would have been impossible to gain otherwise.

For that, Athrun decided, he would not dare to hope for more.

The day Athrun Zala arrived for Erlich Hoffman was exactly a week since he'd traded in his identity to become Rune Estragon.

Athrun sat, as strange to the boy as himself, looking at the boy standing in stiff salute. He looked like his mother in so many ways, Athrun marvelled. So much like his mother. There was little of his father in his face, but as Athrun had understood it, Erlich had a head for figures. And despite his age, Erlich's height was quite considerable, and it reminded Athrun of his father.

Now and then, Erlich took a few shy glances at him.

"At ease." His superior was speaking in a clipped tone Erlich recognized as awkwardness and some fear.

"Yessir." Erlich dropped his hand and it trembled a little.

The man Erlich had seen once in Zaft records and in war history textbooks was drinking tea, gazing at him in a particular manner that reminded Erlich of a fox. Athrun Zala, son of the infamous Patrick Zala, last member of the Zala House, had exceptionally green eyes.

While Erlich was aware that anything could be done with technology these days, he was still intrigued by the shade of emerald in that cool stare.

"Why don't you take a seat?" The man said quietly, but with an affable quality that Erlich found quite arresting. "It makes me uncomfortable to see people standing when there are seats for them."

This person was probably more charismatic than any man or woman that Erlich had met. Erlich was struck to hear how composed, how incredibly articulate this soldier was. Even some officers Erlich was under spoke in grunts, but not this man.

Already, the contrast between his officer and this man was growing wider and wider. The superior took a napkin and wiped his damp forehead, looking ill at ease as the boy took a seat.

"Tea?" Athrun Zala asked courteously. "And sugar too, I insist."

"N-no, sir- it's fine."

"I insist." Athrun Zala told him, with a firmness that seemed strange for someone so refined to look at. "Milk?"

"Yes, please, sir." Erlich's voice was a squeak.

They watched in silence. Erlich wondered how this man could be inviting a mere grunt to partake of his superior's private stash of sugar cubes, milk and Earl Grey.

The superior didn't seem to mind though. He was still staring at Athrun Zala in a fashion that reminded one of a hypnotized animal.

Then Athrun Zala regarded Erlich for a moment, the tea sloshing into the crudely-fashioned cups, but the pourer doing such a beautiful job of it that the tumbler may have well been porcelain. Erlich noticed that Athrun Zala took no milk or sugar with his tea.

"Now," the officer said hurriedly, uncomfortable with the same silence that Athrun Zala seemed so at ease with. "Cadet Hoffman, I'm sure I need not make any introduction as to who this esteemed visitor is. I'd rather leave you to get to know each other better-," He stood up, still mopping his soaked brow.

Within moments, he bowed very low, saluted, bowed again, and scurried from his own office into the boiling heat of the outdoors. Erlich was remarkably reminded of a rat scurrying back into darkness..

"Well then," Athrun Zala said mildly, turning back to Erlich Hoffman, as the door shut. "I suppose I should introduce myself and hear about you as well."

"No sir!" Erlich's voice was modulated entirely. "I cannot trouble you- you need not explain where you are from, or who you are- and I'm not to waste your time."

In his fear, he began to babble, assuming that he'd been called in to see this presumably higher-up, ace soldier for some punishment he didn't quite deserve. "I haven't done anything wrong, I swear sir, I didn't-,"

"Calm down." Athrun Zala said in surprise. "Nobody's punishing you for anything. Besides, I resigned from Zaft quite some time ago. Didn't you know that?"

Erlich's widened eyes gave Athrun Zala his had been rumours that Athrun Zala had been kicked out of Zaft after the Second War after defecting to fight on Orb's side, but nobody really knew. He wasn't wearing the Orb uniform, Erlich saw. But then, he wasn't wearing a Zaft uniform either. He was clad in a dark suit- civilian garb. There was nothing official that he'd heard about Athrun Zala after the Second War anyway.

"So that's how it is, eh?" Athrun Zala muttered quietly to himself. "Maybe they were expecting me to return here anyway."

"Pardon?" Erlich said shakily, not really understanding or hearing properly.

But now, Athrun Zala only shook his head, smiling a little. "Nevermind about that. My name is Athrun Zala and I'm twenty this year." He said this genially and unassumingly, as if Epstein wasn't expected to know who he was.

"Yessir." Erlich said unsurely.

Athrun Zala's eyes softened visibly as they passed over the boy. "Of course, this name will soon be of no relevance. In a few months, you address me as Rune Estragon."

"Why?"

"Not here." Athrun Zala said firmly, looking at him with those emerald eyes that reminded Erlich of forests. "But soon, I will inform you of the details."

He had smiled suddenly, a guarded but nonetheless, warm smile that had comforted Erlich, as much as Erlich didn't want to admit it.

"What was your childhood like?" The man inquired, folding his hands deftly.

"Can't remember." Erlich muttered, both embarrassed and still mistrustful. His heart had begun to beat fast. Who was this man to ask?

"On record here," Athrun Zala said clearly, gesturing to a file, "You were born in Germany. You lived with your father even after your parents separated. And then you were left in an orphanage as a toddler when your father found himself incapable of looking after you. You were sent to a few orphanages before ending up in one, where most of your primary education was received." He held up a file that summarised most of Erlich Hoffman's life. "And from what I understand, you've held a few jobs before you were summoned to the Plants. This was shortly after the Second War."

"Yes." Erlich mumbled. That information had been yanked out of him when he'd wanted to enlist in Zaft.

"Do you know who arranged for you to be sent over to Zaft?" Athrun asked.

"No."

"So they didn't tell you," Athrun thought to himself. Aloud, he addressed Erlich, who was looking rather unhappy. Privately, Athrun felt sorry for the boy.

"It was an officer named Arthur Trine." Athrun informed him. "Have you met him before?"

Erlich frowned. "I've seen him here and there before. He was always kind to me-,"

He stopped himself, but he had already implied that not every officer had been kind to him. Athrun seemed to have caught the implication, for a sad smile tugged at his lips and he nodded, understanding immediately.

A rather mature coordinator, Erlich thought to himself. Even for a twenty-year old. Gulping, he stared down at his trembling hand that had been pressed to his knees as he half-sat, half-stooped, embarrassed of his height, which everybody inexplicably liked to comment on.

"How old are you this year, Erlich?" Athrun said gently.

The boy looked a bit lost, but then blurted out eventually, "I'm fourteen this year."

He didn't bother telling the man that it was an estimated age anyway, but something must have been obvious in his half-truth.

For Athrun Zala looked carefully at him and said, "I think you're closer to thirteen, despite your height."

"Y-yes sir." Erlich had said unsurely. He wasn't sure either. Everyone always commented on his exceptional height and assumed he was about fourteen, but Erlich wasn't sure himself.

Of course, Athrun hadn't told Erlich that he'd been doing his own estimation from the documents he'd been given.

"Please drop the sir, Erlich." Athrun said mildly. "I don't like it. Returning to the subject at hand. I will be your instructor from now on. You will be serving a very specific duty within Zaft. You will be discharged of the current one from this moment onwards. Clear so far?"

"Yes." His eyes widened. Was this why his superior had been forced to leave the room?

Athrun reached into his coat pocket and took out a letter. "This is the authorization letter from the relevant authorities of Plant and Zaft. With this, I am your legal guardian." He looked at Erlich ruefully. "I'm not much older than you, but I'm above thirteen whereas you may or may not have passed that legal age of discretion."

Erlich nodded hesitantly. He had long forgotten his birthday.

"Of course," Athrun said briskly. "Our ages don't change the fact that I have the legal duty to protect and care for you."

Erlich coloured. His fists clenched beneath the table, and the looks of pity the prospective adoptive-parents had given him loomed in his head. He had never been wanted, so now the law was ordering this man to be his guardian.

"I don't need your protection." Erlich spat.

Athrun stared at him and slowly nodded. " I meant no offense, but I apologise if any was taken. I'm not here to patronise you, Erlich. I'm here to be your guardian. This duty is one that was both imposed by the authorities and myself."

"Yourself?" Erlich said, confused now.

"You see, Erlich," Athrun said very gently. "Your mother, in a way, entrusted you to me."

The boy stared, not really understanding.

At that point in time, Athrun had stared at the boy, thinking of all the letters that he'd locked away. The boy before him would never really know how pained his mother had been when she had decided to return to the Plants for reasons Athrun could only guess of.

Nor did the boy know that Athrun had already been in a contract when he had met him. Athrun Zala, unbeknownst to Erlich Hoffman, had entered a contract with Plant's Supreme Council and Zaft to train the boy- the boy would learn how to fight and to pilot in a private space for three years before Athrun Zala would be discharged of his duty to Plant and Zaft.

Athrun Zala was to shape this boy into a machine for Zaft. Athrun was forbidden to tell the boy anything he knew, and in some ways, Athrun agreed it would only trouble him. The boy would become a man that obeyed orders and forgot what it was like to have a home or human warmth.

He would become Athrun Zala.

And for that reason, Athrun had not burnt Talia Gladys' letters the way his superiors had instructed him to. He'd kept them hidden within a safe outside the Isle, back in the Plants. One day, Athrun was sure that Epstein would read those again and understand why his mother had abandoned him, and in doing so, remember what it was like to love and be loved.

But up to the point when Athrun had met Erlich, all the boy understood was that he was the son of an alcoholic who had always been distant from his mother and him. The only father that the boy knew of had not loved him. The boy had naturally locked his father away as a memory not worth recalling.

His mother, on the other hand, was someone the boy remembered as a generous, rather firm but exceptionally genteel woman. And that was why he could not forgive his mother for leaving so suddenly, even if she had written letters that proved how much she missed him.

Of course, Athrun reflected while looking at Erlich before him, the boy had been in orphanage after orphanage. He'd then trawled the streets of Berlin, working through his childhood, squandering his years with the waiting. The aimless, disappointing gnaw of waiting was something that Athrun understood and would sympathise with the boy for.

Erlich had not known his father, a man who married a woman he loved but unrequitedly. He had been too young to understand or empathise with his legal father, who had sensed that his son was not his.

The boy had not understood his mother either, a woman who had been forced to marry to give her son a name. The boy had not understood the woman who had broken a thousand rules and defied a hundred more obligations to have a son she hid away from his real father and the world she really belonged to.

Athrun however, had the benefit of reading certain documents. Those had been collected from a rather mystifying range of sources.From Talia Gladys' few but valuable possessions, there had been photographs of a past she'd once shared with Dullindal. They'd met in one of the top universities of Plant, months before Dullindal had started his internship under Kira Yamato's father and creator- Dr. Ulen Hibiki.

While Talia had dropped out of the bioethics course, she'd continued dating Dullindal and visiting him in the research labs. It was then that Athrun had finally understood why Talia Gladys had met and looked at Kira with that strange familiarity and sadness in her eyes.

After all, Kira resembled his mother more than his father.

And from a forgotten letter-box in a small abandoned apartment that Talia Gladys' husband and her son had once lived in, there were certain letters that had been faithfully written, delivered, but never read. The letters that Athrun had gotten hold of were certainly telling of Talia Gladys' inability to love her boy the way she wanted to. She'd been to ashamed to tell her child of the truth.

Naturally, this boy had certainly no idea that the father who had been unable to love him had really been a bitter man, aware that his wife's son was not his.

Naturally, the boy did not understand who his mother really was- he did not know that her heart was split between her son and the father of her child. And he did not understand that when faced with the death of a man whom she had loved very deeply, her death had seemed the only way of redeeming herself.

Nor did the boy understand that when she had seen the man she loved dying with Rey, who had reminded her of her son, she had chosen death because it seemed like the only way to end the lifelong heartache.

In other words, Epstein had no idea that he was the son of Talia Gladys and Gilbert Dullindal.

The next day, they set off for the hills.

It had begun with the morning, when Athrun had awoken to feel a little cramp in his neck. It should have been an omen, but he didn't realise it then.

Massaging a crick in his neck, he had yawned slightly, stretching and then finding a warm mass curled next to him.

He'd then tried to get off the bed while untangling himself, and proceeded to roll off with very little grace, landing on his, well- dignity. He'd stood up, stretching a little, smiling at how small and compact Cagalli looked with her arms around herself because she'd sensed the removal of warmth when he'd gotten out of bed.

They'd talked late into the night, and they'd proceeded to drop asleep. The recollection of that had made him laugh a little to himself, and he looked at her. Cagalli had been sleeping very soundly, and there was something incredibly childlike about her posture and her expression.

Admittedly, he had grown used to her presence at night in an incredibly short space of time. Her soft body enveloped around him, her breasts and abdomen a soft pillow, her arms and the sweet musk of her body blanketing him-

He'd blinked blearily, then blanched. It struck him then that he had to be very careful.

Then Athrun had left the room and moved down a passage. There was the work schedule he had to meet up with, but for now, a cup of strong tea or coffee was entirely necessary.

Yawning a little more, he had wondered if he ought to call for Laplacia or Cartesia.

But Athrun had considered the workload they had each day, and decided that if he couldn't get his sleep, then he was not about to deprive them of theirs.

Yet, the pantry hadn't been as quiet as he had expected it to be.

Now, Athrun stood, staring at his aides.

Epstein was wearing a spare apron, and it was rather too small and rather too frilly. But in it, Epstein was just as competent as in his business suit.

Athrun then blinked a few more times, but in surprise at the sight of his aides already hard at work preparing a rather marvellous looking midday meal. He couldn't have overslept, could he?

Athrun squinted out the eastern window, seeing a pink glow. No, it was still early morning.

"What's all this about?" Athrun said blearily.

"Lunch, Master." Cartesia said blithely. She was slicing tomatoes with enough precision to make him wonder what she was thinking about while she cut vegetables.

"Yes, I can see that with the rather heavy-going wieners, but what I meant was that it's breakfast time." He said wryly.

"Oh, we got breakfast ready too," Laplacia said, giving him a dazzling smile and gesturing to the freshly-baked strawberry tarts. "This is for you to take along. Miss Cagalli likes strawberries, so these will be nice."

"What are you going on about?" Athrun raised an eyebrow, putting a hands on his hip in consternation. How was it, he wondered distractedly, that even the rather apathetic twins were so fond of Cagalli as to know what she liked and to go out of their way to make sure she got it?

"You and Cagalli are going out today." Epstein said crisply, flipping an omelette expertly while Laplacia caught it marvellously with a plate.

Athrun looked at his first aide, wondering if he was getting too old for all this nonsense about surprises.

"Why wasn't I informed about this?" he groused, feeling irritable.

He realised that he was still in crumpled clothes and bedroom slippers, and the sight of happy aides did nothing to make him happier.

"You're going out!" Cartesia chimed. "And having a holiday!"

"And who decided this?" Athrun said savagely, trying to make his fringe sit down as it bristled with the morning and his irritation.

"Me!" Epstein sang.

He cracked another egg and it broke and began to fry with an indignant sputter. Athrun felt like the egg understood him better than his aides at that point.

"I decided that you both need a day off. We're sending you out for a leisurely morning walk and a nice picnic lunch," Epstein explained, patting a bagel shut, while it threatened to collapse with the sheer amount of ham, lettuce and whatnot under it. "I thought it would be the perfect way to help you make up with her after what happened yesterday."

Athrun paused, finally understanding Epstein's motivations. Epstein had probably thought that Athrun was upset that Cagalli had disobeyed him and snuck to watch the aides training.

"And pray," Athrun said drily, "What makes you think we need to make up?"

In fact, Athrun was only stopping short of asking how Epstein had the right to make this decision. Even in his grumpiest moments, Athrun refrained from being patronising, because it reminded him of that specific class of people he disliked with great enthusiasm.

"Well, if you like her, you shouldn't quarrel or allow a fight to fester on." Epstein said blithely. He paused and mouthed at Athrun with a hand near his mouth, "Or you won't get any."

Athrun just blinked, trying to decide if he should feel exasperated, touched, irritated, amused, or just plain confused. For the time being, confusion was gaining an upper hand.

"And you thought I didn't need to be informed about this?" He inferred.

"No!" Epstein replied in a tone so cheery that Athrun was certain it had to be illegal somewhere for anyone to be that perky at six in the morning. "We didn't want you to worry."

"First things first." Athrun made a beeline to the cupboard where the tea was kept. There was the evil otherwise known as morning, and Athrun was in no mood to negotiate without conquering the morning first.

Once he was situated with a scalding cup of strong, black tea between his hands, Athrun felt slightly more capable of approaching a day that apparently was already planned out for him. "What brought all this about, anyway? Surely not just the Orb Princess' appearance yesterday?"

"Yes, actually." Cartesia said directly.

"Epstein said you both weren't friends anymore because she disobeyed you and came to see us training." Laplacia said, smiling her fresh, trusting smile.

Athrun looked at Epstein quizzically who only shrugged and said, "Isn't that true?"

From what Epstein and the aides had last seen of them, why, yes, it certainly had that impression. But why, Athrun groused, did they have the right to interfere?

"And as busy as you've all been, you and Miss Cagalli haven't had much in the way of time for proper courting," Cartesia chipped in, stuffing more things into the picnic basket.

Athrun stared at her, a hand scrubbing the cliff of his face with a sigh. "And what makes you think we're courting?"

"But the Orb Princess sleeps in your room-," Laplacia's mouth was promptly covered by a flustered Epstein, and Cartesia giggled, giving the game away.

Epstein's face was slightly red, and he had a rather guilty look on his face.

Laplacia, her mouth covered by his palm, was still mouthing god-knows-what conclusions she had reached from the information Epstein had provided.

Athrun shrugged, although he felt distinctively embarrassed.

Perhaps he shouldn't have implied that his captive was now his mistress to Epstein. Epstein, being as close to the twins as it were, would surely have confirmed curtained things with them.

For the twins who were mere children, to be aware that Cagalli had moved into his bedroom- Athrun felt his ears going red, and was glad that his hair covered those.
"It's a busy day," Athrun reminded Epstein pointedly. "Not a holiday."

"Don't be such an old man. The Seventh Eye and I can handle that just fine," Epstein replied, beaming indecently at him. "I've already called him over."

The last of Athrun's self-control vanished.

"You did what?" Athrun sputtered.

He set his cup down, cursing colourfully as he burnt his fingers a little. Then he remembered where he was, and looked guiltily at the twins, berating himself for having sworn in front of them.

But they looked at him with evil little smiles, and he shuddered.

So much for setting a good example for them when Epstein had been left in charge for most part.

"He's coming soon.' Laplacia beamed. "And he's bringing Boarbaki."

Athrun sprang out of the chair he had settled in, staring wildly around, expecting Tom to appear with a giant slobbering mass of fur."Alright, that's enough. Call them up and tell them not to come. We're not going anywhere-,"

"I just explained that you needed to take a holiday." Epstein said with that illegally cheerful grin. "No excuses now, sir. You've got to get out of this musty old manor for a while, so go enjoy the summer air and all of that."

"How do you want me to have a break while the princess runs around in the open?" Athrun said through gritted teeth. "It's the hills I know, and there will still be more birds and wild creatures than humans even after we show up. But what if-,"

"She won't run away now," Cartesia piped up. "She's your girlfriend right?"

"She'll stay with you." Laplacia insisted, smiling mischievously. "And if you get her into a good mood, she might even let you-,"

Promptly and once again, Epstein's hand clasped itself around her mouth while she muffled something, her eyes staring at Athrun.

Athrun looked at his aides in horror, and thanks to his control, managed not to colour to his face. His ears however, were burning.

"Anyway," Epstein said hurriedly, letting go of Laplacia once he was sure she would not say anything that ought not to be said, "Go enjoy the day."

And the twins winked at Athrun, too young to understand, but old enough to know a little and to imagine a lot.

Athrun glared at them, exasperated, not knowing how to broach the subject or explain it.

Epstein, apparently, had been telling them about embarrassing things about grownups that Athrun had long avoided broaching with his youngest aides.

Athrun could teach them anything from rifles to arithmetic, but he sorely wanted to avoid the topic of birds and bees.

Epstein, apparently, had taken this upon his own shoulders and informed the maids of what grownups did when they were both in the same bedroom.

And yet, Athrun could not clarify what was really going on either. It was just as or even more awkward than giving his aides the impression that they currently had. So Athrun, realising that he could not argue with them, merely smiled tightly.

Inwardly, he was making a silent entreaty to whoever might be listening that the house would at least still be standing when they arrived home.

Tom had a talent for mayhem, specifically, creating mayhem. Athrun, on the other hand, preferred order and was an expert at getting people and things that way.

"You know," Athrun said weakly to Epstein, "I don't want to go. And even if I did, I don't want the Seventh Eye around here."

"Oh he won't be bored," Laplacia told them brightly. "He said he'd love to keep an eye on the house while Epstein did your work."

Athrun felt his knees going weak.

Tom he loved experimenting with fireworks, spray cans, chemicals and gunpowder he stole from Barnett- all just to 'rough things up a little' and that beast Boarbaki-

He imagined a wild, gambolling mess of curls and spray of slobber, a rough, wet tongue the size of a child's hand, getting in reach of everything, the garden being uprooted, his files being ripped-

Oh god, Boarbaki.

"I'm not going," Athrun insisted, squaring his shoulders and standing at his full height, which admittedly looked quite impressive as he glowered down at them.

There was a horrible silence as the three of them paused and grinned at him.

It was only then that Athrun realised how he had no say in this at all.

An hour later, Athrun wondered how he had lost control over his aides. Other Eyes, he grumbled silently, would never have tolerated such behaviour.

"And there's going to be good weather, even for two days straight, I've already checked." Epstein's voice was blithe enough for Athrun's irritation to be roused. He wondered if he ought to interrupt, but felt that that would be even more awkward.

He snuck a look at Cagalli and saw that she looked visibly excited, even if half her face was blocked by a black scarf.

When he'd re-entered the room and woken her up, she'd stirred and then opened her eyes, looking at him. In the light, he had noticed how pale she was, and how long she had gone without being in the sun. The gardens and stone tower could not satisfy someone like her. So Athrun had decided that she deserved to get out for a while. He'd whispered to her that he was bringing her somewhere, and he saw her eyes blink once and then light up.

That was worth it, Athrun decided, never mind if Tom brought his motley crew and turned Athrun's manor upside down.

At present, Cagalli sat next to him, trying to control her excitement. Her vision was blocked again, by the black scarf he'd tied around her head. Athrun sighed inwardly, regretting this but knowing there was no other way.

They were in an inconspicuous looking car today. Technically, a normal, navy-coloured car would not have attracted any attention, but its solitary state in a clearly rural scenery made it conspicuous. An eagle flying overhead might have perceived the blue spot to be prey, moving in the midst of golden fields and flourishing barley.

"Okay back there?"

Athrun answered, because Cagalli didn't seem likely to. "Yes. Are we there yet?"

"Not yet." Epstein said happily. "But soon, we will be."

Cagalli was sitting at the extreme end of the seat, keeping very quiet. Athrun knew it was her lack of vision that made her feel vulnerable, but she'd have to wait it out. Comfortingly, he took her hand in his and felt her fingers tighten around his own.

Then suddenly, the speeding car jerked to a halt, and the car tilted, enough for Cagalli to fall towards him, making a small sound of fear.

He reached out instinctively, willing to catch her, but she righted herself even while the car was at a strange angle, and while doing so, she caught the wind out of him.

Blindfolded, Cagalli addressed the car window with a muffled cry. "Sorry!"

"It's okay," Athrun panted, short of breath from her vicious elbowing.

They paused, the car stopping.

When Epstein hurried to open their door and they got out, Athrun blinking in the sunlight, Cagalli still blindfolded, Epstein gave Athrun an unmistakeable wink.

Perturbed, Athrun wondered if he ought to tell Epstein that they were not fighting. Even if they were, what Epstein had just staged would have been unlikely to create a make-up scenario.

The wind was all around them, and they had scarcely any time to react before Epstein called out, "Fetch you in a bit!", threw some things out, and made a getaway.

"Make sure Tom doesn't touch anything!" Athrun shouted at the retreating car. He wasn't sure if Epstein had heard him. The dust testified to the speed Epstein had drove off at, and it was thick enough to block even Athrun from hearing himself.

Epstein too, was unlikely to have heard that warning.

"Now," Athrun said sardonically, turning back to Cagalli, "Let's try and enjoy ourselves, shall we?"

He heard her laugh a little, then smilingly, he took off the blindfold. She blinked in the sunlight now. Then happily, Cagalli turned and stretched her arms out, feeling a breeze rush onto her skin and the sun's warmth flood over her.

Athrun bent slightly, then stood, raising the picnic basket in his hand.

The grasses blew long and gracefully in the constant winds, and the fields everywhere seemed to be a lush green carpet that they were components of.

"There's probably water in here and more than enough food for lunch and snacks." He observed. "Or maybe just half an elephant."

Cagalli chuckled, then looked back to bumpy gravel road they'd travelled on. Epstein's car was nowhere. Her expression grew concerned. "Are you sure we'll be okay alone like this?"

"Yes," He said, trying to reassure himself too.

She was dressed for a picnic, as was he. For once, Athrun had no say over his own clothes or hers, although he could not complain. The maids had laid out a rather comely, cream muslin blouse and skirt for her, an ensemble which bared her arms, though they'd supplied her a wide-brimmed, straw hat. From what he could see, Cagalli cared little for it. It bounced ungratefully on her back, secured around her neck with a string.

He had his loose, off-white shirt untucked. The shirt-sleeves were rolled to his elbows, and his seldom-worn jeans were brushing against the grass- after all, there wasn't anyone to bother with how less than formal attire. Clearly, the aides had taken everything upon themselves.

Cagalli marched forward excitedly, then turned around to confirm that he was still behind did not occur to her that she wasn't going anywhere in particular, it only mattered that she continued to walk forward, somewhere, anywhere. "Come on! Come on!"

He grinned, turning back to the endless fields.

"We might as well." He said patiently, "There's nobody here in this place except us. Epstein won't be back until- well, until he comes back."

Athrun raised his head and looked around, then pointed up and far off. At least Epstein had dumped them in a place that was familiar to Athrun.

"Do you want to try scaling that?" he asked, indicating the near-mountainous grassy hill that loomed over a small village.

"Is that a dare?" Cagalli said mock-haughtily. "I'll have you know that I ran away to join a desert resistance at one point, you know."

They both laughed.

The world around them beckoned to be tasted, and he knew she could not resist. Slowly, surely, he was crushing her will to leave, and they both knew it.

The subtle, constantly-changing hues of saturated greens rippled as a breeze caressed the grass, allowing a lighter contrast to the richer smatterings of green where coniferous groves dabbed at the upper slope.

Further down to the base, however, trails of vivid orange, red, saffron and even suggestions of purple stood out as the deciduous trees flaunted their autumn attire.

Cagalli studied it, feeling a little dubious. "Do you think we can actually make it up there?"

"It's not far," Athrun considered, "We should reach the top just in time for lunch. If nothing else, we'll have worked up an appetite. We can make it back down here by dusk. "

Now, Cagalli reached to the hat, putting it slowly to her head. And as she did, he came closer, putting down the picnic basket and helping her tie it securely.

She lowered her head, her hands around the wide brim of the straw hat shading both of them, and without knowing it, he bent closer to claim her mouth. Her eyes fluttered shut and she willingly tilted her lips to his.

She couldn't resist him, Cagalli thought. She just couldn't. And this, how close he was now, the earthy smell of his body, the traces of aftershave, spicy and warm in the heat, her own feelings for him.

The kiss did not come as a demand, but it was slow, tentative and tender. This had been what he'd missed all this time, he realised.

His unconscious efforts to avoid the memories of all those years ago when he'd first kissed her were discarded now.

Courting, he thought for a split-second, allowing a small smile that she did not see. That took time. That took feelings, that took understanding her and himself. Had he ever bothered, even where Lacus was concerned?

If one considered flowers as courting, then yes, he'd bothered because it only seemed right. But emotional engagement-wise, it had been obvious that they were too similar, too suited, too bored by each other's politeness.

He studied Cagalli, whose expression was now blocked by her hat. She had probably been embarrassed by the slow, tender kiss he'd given her, and Athrun realised she must have felt that crippling grip of familiarity that he'd felt to.

He wondered what she was thinking as they began to tread through the fields. At the same time, Athrun wondered when he had ever wondered about what a woman thought.

The wind whistled cheerily and Athrun's mood lifted.

Courting eh?

He would have to repay his aides.

The scale up the hill was tiring, but they were sufficiently fit and enthusiastic to reach the summit. They made less progress over the next few hours even as the horizon swelled, showing them increasing angles of their surroundings.

As they neared the summit, they passed by a small grove and she discovered what she thought was an old homestead.

The fence's remnants sprang up from the untrimmed lawn here and there, overgrown with creeping plants and lianas with slightly fuzzy leaves and minute little white blossoms.

The derelict, crumbled little house still stood, its red bricks faded, the roofs sagging with age and weathering. The front porch of the house allowed a tumultuous trek across jagged plank to the large hole where a door had once saluted its owner.

In a few windows, tattered remnants of the previous curtains fluttered like moths, greyed with age and exposure, attracted to light, but unattractive in the light.

Cagalli lingered on. "I wonder who used to live here."

Athrun stopped walking, looking back at her, then to the house, or what she thought was a house.

"They must have left for a less inaccessible place," he replied, shrugging slightly. He was keen to avoid that place at all costs. He knew who had lived there, and why it had become what they were seeing now.

"I know." She walked closer. "Why'd they leave? It would have been a quaint living area."

Turning back, she looked toward the view to make her point, admiring the view.

"I don't know." He walked back to her side, although he was less than willing to. "They could have died, or maybe they decided to live closer to town. Perhaps their only well dried up, or the yield was only enough for basic sustenance, or the winters were unbearable. Or it could have been for any one of a hundred other reasons."

"Really?" Cagalli said curiously.

"Perhaps nobody had ever lived in it." He said vaguely.

He turned to move on, but she suddenly started and said loudly, "It was a church, wasn't it?"

So she'd noticed the cross, tiny but noticeable, on the apex of the roof. His lips tightened and he shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Don't you want to see what's in it?" She questioned curiously, already making as if to find the entrance and go in.

Athrun caught her arm though. "What about the hike?"

"Oh," She laughed. "Sorry. I get distracted easily, don't I?"

They began to move uphill again.

The stream was rather large, and it gurgle and leapt in its course. And it was very deep. If one got caught on the wrong end of the current, it would be difficult to ensure personal safety.

The rocks didn't look comforting either. But in the sunlight, in such good weather, everything was simply picturesque. Besides, Athrun was walking some distance away from the river, away from its currents.

Cagalli was too engrossed in her new surroundings to notice anything other than that the homestead was a church. She certainly did not notice how silent he was being as she whistled, for it dawned on her that she did not really know where she was going, and following him would be the best bet.

Athrun, however, knew where this place was.

He'd married Lyra here.

A hundred trees, three glimpses of deer, and twenty-minutes of Cagalli's excited chattering later, they'd reached the summit.

"We're here." He said simply, setting the basket down as a dutiful wife might have, except that he did it with the ease of one who was in control of the world below him. And what a world it was!

It was difficult to tear her attention away from the valley below them. Individual trees, tiny by distance, bent and blended together like carefully-juxtaposed paints on an artist's palette.

The sheer abundance of orange and ruby shades, aligned with a treasure-trove of green tones from grassy plains made the occasional conifers look even deeper in the lowlands.

"Do you like this place?" He asked, a small smile glimmering on his lips as he watched her.

The offerings of fields and the winds sweeping far beneath them intensified the joy Cagalli had almost forgotten. Peeping through the saplings was the adjacent river, and the world below and beyond was silent save the birdsong and whistling breezes.

"It's lovely up here," Cagalli said quietly.

He looked at the awe on her face as she stared beneath them, and he chuckled. "Did you forget what it was like to see the seasons change?"

Cagalli shook her head hesitantly. "Not exactly. I was thinking that it was spring when I was on the SS Rafael."

His voice was sober. "It's almost the end of summer now. Autumn's coming."

She was silent, staring into the distance, and he was worried that she was entertaining thoughts of running. Dressed as she was, she would not survive the night, let alone wolves if they were lurking around. But his fears were unfounded, for she turned and smiled wistfully at him.

"I've actually never seen the seasons change before." Cagalli told him pensively. "The desert had its own kind of beauty, untameable and even cruel, but this-," She trailed off, sitting down. Then she began drawing her knees up to her chin, still staring at the scenery. "I'm glad I'm here today."

They spread the food on the blanket. There was so much to eat and drink that it seemed like they would gorge themselves to death. Bagels with fresh tomatoes and chicken, cream cheese, iced cucumbers, pickled greens, a butter cake with a dash of rum, beef slices with honey dressing, fairy cookies with white icing-

They fell upon the food. Athrun watched as Cagalli set herself to it, and laughing at her clear enjoyment, began to tuck in too. And thus, he began eating with gusto that surprised her. Cagalli asked inquisitively, "Is the food better up here than in the house?"

He nodded, busy with a bagel. She grinned, enjoying his satisfaction with the food as much as the food itself.

By the time they were full, Athrun was groaning.

"I'm going to explode." She exclaimed, sitting up a little straighter and beginning to rummage for the paints and canvas that had been packed in.

"I'm exploding first." He said with some difficulty, feeling strangely heavy. "Look- you can get up and get your paints, but here I am-," He groaned.

Cagalli was already sprawled on the large blanket, dissolving some of the paints with water from her tumbler. Her fingers were wrapped around a fine brush, and she was dabbing quickly, almost carelessly.

Athrun knew that she was relaxed, so relaxed that she could paint in front of him like this. And he felt joy enter his veins, a quiet pleasure entering him insidiously.

As he watched her contentedly, she began painting, letting little specks of orange dot against the green of the fields. The spontaneity and energy she transferred was astounding to watch, especially when he considered that she had no formal training. Or perhaps, this was precisely why she could do this without a care or rule in her head.

If he was careless, he would become too relaxed around her, Athrun reminded himself. But for now- just for now, he wanted that.

He leaned over her shoulder, smiling as he heard her chuckle and then frown as she tried to regain concentration.

Already, the painting looked like a collage of powdered jewels, vivid in her depiction and not an exact copy of the landscape. He admired it, although he did not say anything to make her embarrassed. Athrun knew she was exactly the sort who would feel pressured and stop the minute anyone told her she was doing great. As a child, she had not thrived on that kind of attention.

When she had finished, she washed the brushes with some stored water, and place the mat aside with the small square of canvas to dry. Those dried relatively quickly, and he sprawled out on the large blanket, extending one arm perpendicular to the rest of his body, inviting her into his embrace.

She hesitated, but set the things aside and meekly, like a wary cat, approached him on all fours, and then laid stiffly near him, accepting his arm as a neck-rest. He smiled reassuringly, and she shifted a little nearer to him.

Then they lay on their backs, facing the skies above them, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her in a protective circle.

There was something natural about this, something that belonged to the world around them. It had started with her pointing to one cloud that looked a bit like a goat, and he had rolled to lie at the angle she faced to see it.

She'd shifted her head to point better, and she'd ended up laying her head on his shoulder. It was clear that she wanted to have him hold her, to treat her like she belonged to him.

They lay in a lazy, comforting silence until Cagalli spoke.

"May I ask something?" she whispered.

"Go ahead."

Cagalli hesitated. "Did you come to the Isle willingly?"

Beyond them, the golden spearheads beckoned in the breeze, and the shade of the trees dappled their bodies with light and shadows. Athrun, she could tell, was thinking of how to say something.

And Athrun quirked a tiny smile, despite the tension in his body. "That doesn't matter now."

Instead of setting her at ease, Cagalli became more agitated. She shifted, raising herself partially to look at him.

"You've been here for nearly seven years now. There are so many others you might have had, even now. Why do you want me then?," She looked miserable, "Are you trying to take revenge for how I treated you?"

Athrun's expression grew serious. "I never meant for us to grow close, Cagalli. I tried to prevent that. But it's true that we ended up like this even though those years passed. And it's true that I feel safe around you and want you to think that of me too."

"You feel safe around me?" she echoed softly.

"You won't betray me," he replied, stroking her long, golden hair idly. "Trust isn't something I think of anymore. In the course of these seven years, I trusted very few people."

"But Athrun," She said wildly, "I've made use of you so many times, and escape from the manor- even this-," She gazed around. "If I tried to escape-,"

"You won't do that anymore." He said decisively. "You would never do that, because we understand each other now."

Biting her lips, she looked down, nodding. It was true. The thought had certainly crossed her mind, except that she realised it was quite impossible since Epstein had needed a car to get here. Besides, she had no way of knowing where to go.

Moreover, Athrun was here, and she instinctively wanted to stay by his side.

His eyes met hers. "I don't want anything anymore except peace for the rest of this time. That's all I've wanted for a very long time. With you, I have that. I want to feel the way I do around you as the person I am with you. I'm happy enough as it is."

"How can you say that?" She asked sadly. "You only have me here because you brought me here in the first place. You know I'd never leave Orb to come here and find you if you hadn't brought me."

He reflected on this, then pulled her down to him again. "That's true. But I still have you here don't I? It doesn't matter why or how that came to be. I've never been happier in a long time. So please-," Athrun gazed at her. "Stay."

His arms came around her, holding her close, and she bent into his arms, nodding. He'd ordered her not to escape before, but now he was ordering her to stay. He was pleading with her.

And in that moment, she truly believed that he'd brought her here for his own reasons, no matter whose instructions he'd been acting on in the first place. Athrun had always hinted of it, and now she wanted to believe him- that he'd wanted her here in the first place; that he wanted her to be with him.

"I'm afraid of so many things, Athrun," she admitted, her face buried against his neck. "I'm scared I need you more than I realise or know, and I'm scared to think of the future."

His fingers gently caressed her cheek. He could have said the same. Her next words mirrored his thoughts, and he knew how similar they really were in their fears.

"I don't know what's happening around us, the world, even us. You were supposed to be gone, and I was supposed to be stronger than this, strong enough to not need anyone anymore." Cagalli muttered. "And now I'm here, and I'm dependent on you for protection, against things I don't even know about, things you won't let me know about. How did that happen? Now, I don't even know what to expect."

He didn't know how to allay her fears, because those were his own. Gently, Athrun craned his neck around Cagalli's, nuzzling her, and carefully retracted his arm so they could face each other. "I don't want you to think of all that anymore for the time we have left."

"This feels right," she whispered. "But I don't know anymore."

He smiled, closing his eyes as he wrapped arms around her. "Then you'll have to make do with what you know. When someone held you like this, you felt safe, didn't you?"

"You're the only one who's held me like this for so long." Cagalli confided to him, trying to tell him what she really meant.

"Then they were fools." Athrun said quietly.

He was stoking her hair very gently, almost imperceptibly. Lulled by the soft cries of the wind that fanned her hair and across her face, protected by the warmth of his body, she fell asleep, amidst the green and golden grasses and beckoning barley.

In the meeting room of the Plant Supreme Council chambers, Kira Yamato sat before the Chairman of Plants, Eileen Kanaver and the Head General of Zaft, Yzak Joule.

If Lacus Clyne had not been Kira Yamato's wife, she would have been here as the Head Diplomat of Plant and the one representing their foreign affairs. But she was currently in a nursing home, due to give birth in a week's time. Yzak Joule had been elected to take on her job, which was telling of Plant's message to Orb and the Earth Alliance if they considered joining forces to accuse Plant of anything

The sight of Yzak Joule here reminded him that Lacus was still in the nursing home, and Kira was aching to see her. But Kira focused on the people before him, willing himself to concentrate. Eileen Kanaver's expression was worried, and she looked more tired than Kira had ever seen her. The whole ordeal was certainly taking its toll on the world, not just Orb.

Yzak Joule's voice was brusque, but that was not uncommon. "When you say that Zaft needs to be on standby, are you saying that you think Orb wants to go to war?"

"Yes." Kira found no need to be less than direct. "I am not keen for war, but Orb is. I am but a Proxy, and I am finding it difficult, near-impossible actually, to reason with Cagalli Yula Atha's parliament."

"Proxy Yamato," Yzak said curtly, "There have been allegations from both Orb and the Earth Alliance that Plant is involved with the Orb Princess' disappearance. I find it ironic and even laughable that you are now asking Plant for help in the investigations. I find it ridiculous even, that you would even think that we'd want to get involved with Orb and the Earth Alliance at all."

Eileen looked at Yzak concernedly. "Now, Head General, don't be so harsh on the Proxy. He was once a colleague of yours, you know."

"I stand by my words." Yzak said coolly. Kira understood Yzak's message- that currently, Yzak saw Kira as an Orb person, not a Zaft colleague, let alone friend. "If Plant chooses to get involved, we have a lot at risk. If we choose to help and send in Zaft troops into Scandinavia, we would only do it on goodwill."

Eileen nodded, looking at Kira. "We would only do so to help the Earth Alliance and Orb sort out its problems by clearing the air once and for all. This would mostly be for foreign relations' purposes. There is no international treaty binding us into this, and even if there were, we'd be able to decline. And with good reason!We would be insane to send in people to take on problems that are not really ours, especially if Orb is likely to turn around and accuse Plant of being the real perpetrators. I have decided similarly for Earth Alliance, which has already approached us for help."

"I understand." Kira said steadfastly. "I have already convinced the Earth Alliance that has chosen to represent Scandinavia, as well as the Orb parliament, to pledge full support of the help Plant and Zaft will give us. I think that is the only way forward."

"Not just that." Yzak told him, clearly keen on pushing the deal. "I think it would only be fair if both superpowers grant the Plants immunity from the international courts where this whole slate of events are concerned."

Kira had expected this, but he decided to test the waters. "If Plant has no involvement in this, why would it fear the international courts' questioning?"

"Because we don't want to get involved in a squabble more than we have to!" Yzak said fiercely. "Plant and Zaft should not have to help and be doubted for it! And clearly, Orb and the Earth Alliance is not really trusting of Plant to help out in investigations, is it?"

"What the Head General means is that Plant doesn't have an obligation to help when there's no evidence suggesting we are involved in the Orb Princess' disappearance." Eileen explained. "The Plant Supreme Council is rather against the idea of entering into a conflict it really has no part of."

"If Plant chooses to, again, I repeat, we do it out of goodwill." Yzak said firmly. "And if we do, I think we should not have to have our actions questioned by the parties we are helping, or by the international courts."

Kira nodded, knowing he had to accept then. "My parliament and I have already agreed to this. We will do as you say."

"Fine," Eileen concluded, standing up and walking forward. She nodded at Yzak. "Thank you, Head General, and you too, Proxy Yamato." She looked at them ruefully, "I must move off now and leave you two."

When she had left, Yzak turned to Kira, frowning slightly. Yzak took a while to gather his thoughts, and when he did, his voice was less curt.

"Are you alright, Kira?"

Kira sighed, sitting down and shaking his head, rubbing his face with his hand. "I think so, Yzak. I'm just a little tired."

After the First War, they'd both established an uneasy truce. But after the Second War and the aftermath, their friendship had grown strong and they'd always quietly supported each other. When Yzak Joule had become the Head General weeks after the battle at Messiah had ended, he and Kira's to-be-subordinate, Shiho Hahenfuss, had spoken up for Kira when he had joined Zaft and become the General of Defense and Technology.

At that time, there had been protests from the other soldiers. Kira's motivations for joining Zaft were allegedly to be with Lacus Clyne. While there was nothing particularly wrong with that because Kira was himself a Coordinator and had the right to enlist in Zaft, many soldiers were displeased at his immediate ascent to a prime position. But Yzak had become head general by then, and his speaking up for Kira Yamato had silenced many critics, as had Kira's subsequent performance.

Now, Yzak went to pour two cups of coffee, moving before Kira to place a cup there, then resuming his seat with his own drink. "Here."

There was a firmness that still suggested warmth and strength of character, and Kira sensed that Yzak was shedding the business-like manner he always maintained his impartiality with. Smiling wanly, Kira accepted the drink.

"Don't be too worried about the Orb Princess," Yzak said quietly. "She's a strong woman. She'll know what to do."

"If she's even fine at all," Kira told him wearily. He took out the letter he'd folded and put into his coat.

When he handed it to Yzak, Yzak's eyes widened and he took it, scanning through it quickly. He studied Kira. "Do you know who sent this?"

"Not at all." Kira said heavily, looking back at Yzak steadily as well.

Both of them looked at each other, not saying anything.

"If this is not forged," Yzak said slowly, dropping Kira's gaze first, "I think you've made the right decision in asking for Plant to work with both superpowers. But what I am saying is in my capacity as a friend, not as member of Plant's Supreme Council or the Head General of Zaft. "

"I have no choice but to assume it is," Kira told Yzak. "And it seems more likely than not that this letter is from her. We won't be going public with it though. There'd be too much outcry and uprising from the Orb citizens."

Yzak looked at him gravely. "Wise decision. I say this as the proxy for Plant's Diplomatic Relations. But personally, I wish I could say the same about you giving up your post to be the Orb Proxy. It's not going to be easy to get back here into Zaft. Even now, your decisions you make in Orb's best interests are being criticised by Orb, despite you doing your best."

"They practically worship her, that's why." Kira said objectively. "And the media has been playing on that."

Yzak shook his head. "Haven't you considered gripping down on the media?"

"It was very well controlled before she vanished," Kira recalled. "One of the most regulated media-systems in the world where it concerned politics, the law, and the maintenance of harmony between Coordinators and Naturals."

"The state prosecuted quite a few people after the Second War," Yzak nodded, remembering how Cagalli Yula Atha had used sheer wit and will to regain control of Orb. "Those were people accused of acting subversively and all that- those who had the tendencies to speak out against Coordinators or Naturals, depending on what they were themselves- all of that. She was also the one who approved of the Media Act that allowed parliament more than a little control in what Orb citizens could publish, read or say about Coordinators and Naturals."

Kira nodded. "At that time, there were criticisms that she was being too harsh just for the sake of maintaining Coordinator-Natural harmony, but I suppose that reinforced the fact that Orb did not want discrimination of that sort."

"That has worked to its favour where investments from both Plant and the Earth Alliance are concerned." Yzak concluded. "Those people had to be gotten rid of anyway."

"Those weren't the only people the State prosecuted though." Kira told him. "When there were people who spoke out against what the government was doing under her, she enacted certain bills to legalise their banishment from Orb."

He looked dully at his hands, wrapped around his cup. "Some of them were actually anti-Coordinator extremists, who regrouped outside Orb and found a way back into Orb. They tried to assassinate her on her twenty-second birthday."

While Yzak had long known of this because of the investigation that had been carried out, he appreciated that Kira was telling him all this, for it was clearly an emotional burden of Kira's. "I have never heard of such an incident."

"It wasn't ever released by the media." Kira told him with a rueful little laugh. "Nor was the fact that my sister had a complete breakdown shortly after that."

Yzak was already aware of this. They'd compiled data on it quite recently when Athrun Zala had sent a request for private investigation. At that time, Yzak hadn't questioned Athrun Zala. He'd thought that his subordinate only wanted additional information pertaining to the Orb Princess that the existing files didn't have.

But this- what Kira was saying from his perspective, could be more than useful for Plant and Zaft.

"What happened?" Yzak inquired, although he already had quite a good idea of this.

"She killed an attacker in self-defence and out of necessity in saving another person." Kira informed him. "And while she had a legal defence, she couldn't bear the guilt of having taken a life to save her own and another's."

"I suppose all those who had been present, including many of the key members of Parliament, swore to keep silence on the incident to prevent a leak to the media." Yzak guessed.

But the secret investigators Yzak had sent in to collate information on the Fifth Eye's request had paid one eye-witness to speak. From that, Yzak and therefore Athrun Zala, had learnt of the events on the Orb Princess' twenty-second birthday.

Kira looked directly at Yzak."Right. None of them have spoken about this, except Aaron Biliensky. He told only one person of what had happened."

"You." Yzak realised

"Yes. But he only did so because it was crucial. By then, Cagalli's condition had already regressed. She had lost the ability to speak quite quickly and quite suddenly, and therapy didn't seem to be helping. She developed a habit of biting her hands," Kira explained, looking so pained that Yzak wondered for a moment if what he was going to do with this information was right to Kira and Cagalli. "And then it became worse."

Yzak looked at him carefully. He sensed that Kira was about to offer information that nobody else had, save the Orb Pirncess herself. And certainly, she was probably not going to offer it to anyone either. "By the time you got there, what condition was she in?"

"Unrecognisable." Kira said quietly. "I'll never forget how she sat there without responding to me. I'd taken leave for two whole months straight after that- you probably remember that."

Yzak nodded. Shiho Hahenfuss had been recently promoted at that time, and as Kira's direct subordinate, she had been Kira's proxy for a while.

"During those two months," Kira revealed. "I had to try and make her remember who she was and to reassure her that she was safe. I talked to her every day, for hours at a stretch. Those who knew I was visiting her were essentially the hospital staff who were stationed at her house for almost all hours of the day to ensure she did not hurt herself. And those were sworn to silence too."

Yzak kept quiet, trying to remember all of this that even the private investigators had not been able to dig out. All that they'd learnt had really been the broad strokes of waht had happened, but not what Cagalli Yula Atha had suffered in the aftermath. Clearly, there were emotional wekanesses she'd covered up pretty well, and now, Kira Yamato was offering information about it. Athrun Zala could probably use it.

"It didn't go anywhere." Kira told Yzak. "I began to try different methods, hoping to get a response out of her. At one point, in my desperation, I brought out all the photographs I had of people we both knew. Her father, the housekeeper and her father's bodyguard and the Admiral, all those. Even the comrades we'd had during the war- all those. Those didn't get any response from her, until I showed her a picture of Athrun Zala."

Yzak tried to contain himself, staring at Kira. "What?"

"You know they were in a relationship once, don't you?" Kira asked hesitantly. "She was very much in love with him. But it didn't work out the way they'd planned, and he'd left Orb for some unknown reason.

Yzak of course, knew exactly what reason Athrun Zala had left Orb for. But he kept silent, waiting for Kira to continue.

"She refused to talk about him after he left Orb for wherever he disappeared to." Kira revealed. "She always avoided talking about him after that. But when she was in that catatonic state, I showed her a few photographs of him, mostly featuring both of us after the First War. That was the only time she responded."

"What did she do?" Yzak asked, in spite of himself.

"She began to call out to Athrun." Kira said numbly. "That was the only thing she could say. His name. I kept showing her pictures of him, and then it was quite clear that she knew his name, even if she couldn't remember mine, Lacus' or her father's even."

"My God!" Yzak said softly. "She remembered him."

"She had been still and silent for weeks at that time. I hadn't expected her to respond at all. But she did. She began to cry and she couldn't stop, even when I took those away. She recognised him and remembered who he was." Kira looked at him sadly.

Yzak took in the breath he had been holding. His pulse was racing. "Incredible."

Kira's eyes were dull. "The next day, I began to talk to her about Athrun. I just talked for hours and hours, about what he loved to eat as a child, how he'd been a boy that everyone was in awe of, to the point that nobody really was his friend, even if they liked him. She'd look at me, and that was the only time she looked vaguely like she understood. I'd talk and talk about every single thing I could vaguely recall about Athrun, and I talked about how I remembered the way Athrun used to look at her."

Kira looked sadly at Yzak. "He loved her very much, you know. You could see it in how he spoke to her. He was always so quiet, awkward even, and he was always unable to say what he thought when he was around her."

Yzak kept quiet, fighting the guilt of what he was going to do with this information. This was a whole new side of the events he thought he knew all of. If the Fifth Eye knew about this and used it against Cagalli Yula Atha, Yzak realised suddenly, his captive would be even more emotionally dependent on him. But it was Yzak's duty to inform his subordinate, and it was his subordinate's duty to use that information, no matter how cruel it was.

"Cagalli always seemed to really listen and understand me when I spoke up of the days they'd spent together. Then I used Athrun as a sign-post to the rest of her memories." Kira told him.

"For instance, to make her remember me, I'd tell her about Athrun, who'd gone to school with another boy, who was now in front of her. Things like that. I never told anyone- never felt the need to tell anyone. And it worked for a while. Soon, she was willing to talk and respond. The speech therapy for the rest of the hours each day helped of course, and in a month, she'd regained her speech. They took off her binds too, because they knew she was recovering."

Nobody knew what I was doing- not even Aaron Biliensky or the doctors and nurses. It was always in private and I took it upon myself to try and help her recover. I thought I was the only one who could heal her." Kira laughed shortly. "How wrong I was. I may have even caused her more harm."

"What did you do?" Yzak asked in shock. He had never expected this of Kira.

Kira sighed. "One day, when she seemed to be in a good mood, I asked her why it'd never worked out between them. I thought it was obvious that she still had feelings for him, even if she never told anyone consciously. At that time, she had regained her speech, and she looked at me with an expression I'd never seen before on her face. It was like she was hiding something from me, and I knew what she proceeded to say were lies. It just didn't square with what I'd seen when she'd called out for him even when she didn't remember any of us."

"So I kept questioning her until she finally admitted that she'd driven Athrun away, because she thought he was in danger by being in Orb. I flared up and told her she was wrong, and she lost it too." Kira's shoulders sagged. "By the time we were through with shouting at each other, I knew that she would never recover from what I said about her to her face."

"I called her a selfish fool, amongst other things, and I told her that Athrun didn't deserve to be lied to, and that she didn't deserve someone like him. Of course I apologised, but it was too late by then. I think every word sank into her and she could never quite be the same with me ever again."

Yzak sat there, not knowing what to say.

"The trauma was so great because Cagalli couldn't accept that she'd sacrificed someone to save herself." Kira said brokenly. "With the attempted assassination, she'd sacrificed the attacker to save her own life and Aaron's. With Athrun though, she thought she had sacrificed her own feelings to save him by getting him out of Orb."

Kira rubbed his temples. "But I told her that the only thing that she'd really saved was herself, and that the only thing she'd really sacrificed was Athrun himself. When I told her that, she looked at me and her face just crumbled. I just watched as she begged me to take that back, but I refused."

"I left back for Plant, that very night. I heard from Aaron that she returned to work the next day, and she claimed she was fine. She's been fine since then, according to him." Kira laughed hollowly.

Kira stood up, pacing. "If only I'd realised the real reasons why the attempted assassination and Athrun had always been linked in her mind, I'd never have hurt her that way."

"How were they linked in her mind?" Yzak asked breathlessly, turning around to look at Kira.

Kira paused. "I'm not sure how to say this, or if I've gotten it exactly. But up until I told her what I thought of her actions towards Athrun, she had been convinced that what she did was right. Her act of eliminating the threat during the attempted assasination was essentially the same as the acts of eliminating all those who'd stood in her way after the Second War."

"But one thing she'd done after the Second war was different- at least to her. The one thing that had kept her going all this while was Athrun. The fact that he'd left because of what she did, made her go on, because she believed it was for his sake. I think that's the reason why Cagalli remembered only Athrun when the trauma made her abort all her unhappy memories."

"Unhappy memories?" Yzak echoed.

"Those memories reminded her that each time she sacrificed something, it was to preserve herself. For him though, she didn't sacrifice anyone else- she sacrificed herself. That's why she could remember him and respond to me positively when I spoke of him. His leaving Orb was actually part of her self-worth."

Kira shook his head. "But I destroyed even that, didn't I?"

Yzak felt a great sense of empathy for Kira. Now, Yzak wondered if he ought to go ahead with what he'd planned to do.

"So many things have convinced Cagalli that she isn't capable of experiencing real happiness." Kira muttered. "She has forgotten that her personal happiness is different from Orb's."

Yzak stood up, feeling incredibly battered and tired. "You shouldn't feel too much guilt yourself, Kira. Hope for the best. You can't give up now. There's so much to be done, and so much to look forward to. Lacus needs you to be strong too-,"

Kira nodded, but studied Yzak, seeing a myriad of emotion in the man's face. Kira was glad at this. If Yzak was moved, things were going to go in order as to what Kira had planned. Telling Yzak all of this had been a way of releasing some of that emotional burden, but there were far greater purposes to what Kira had done.

Granted, Kira was still struggling to come to terms to what he'd done to Cagalli. He was still hoping that she would be safe and come home to them soon. Only then, would he be able to tell her he was sorry and to ask her for forgiveness.

But all that was part of this.

He nodded to Yzak once, then moved out. Holding his head up high, Kira moved past those who still saluted to him, ackowledging that while he was not a Zaft General currently, he was still worthy of their respect. Either that, or Yzak had informed the staff here that Kira Yamato would be around today.

And if Kira understood Yzak to be the efficient machine he was, Yzak was probably going to make a call to Athrun Zala in the next hour.

All Kira had to do now, was to wait for Athrun Zala to bite.

Cagalli was suddenly aware that Athrun was shaking her.

"Cagalli." His voice was urgent, and his arm had left her body, making her whimper at the loss of warmth as cold air rolled over her bare arms. "Wake up. There's a storm approaching."

She cracked open her eyes and sat up slowly, sleepy and trying to cling to him like a koala bear. Athrun chuckled, despite his anxiousness, and kissed her cheek to placate her.

"We've got to find shelter before it rains." He told her.

Slightly more awake now, she stood up, as he had, although without the vital urgency he had displayed. He rolled up the large picnic blanket, stuffing it into the slightly less field basket, and took her hand in his.

"What's the matter?" She yawned, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. "Only a little drizzle-,"

"I hardly think so." Athrun replied. "When it rains around here, it's often a storm. There're too many trees around here, too much risk of lightning. Come on, we've got to get back- maybe Epstein's waiting for us already."

With some irritation, he realised that Epstein had confiscated his cell. Worse still, the rumbling thunder was an ominous sign. The skies had become a very different colour altogether, and the wind was gathering. Hadn't Epstein assured him of good weather?

As if to mock him, the faint drizzle split into an open shower.

"Cagalli! We've got to go!" Athrun pulled her hand urgently, hoping that she was in a clearer state.

Quite awake by now, Cagalli got up and picked up the basket at the same time, staring at him.

"Should we try running down? We'll make better time," Cagalli asked around the basket handle, raising her voice to be heard over the increasing wind.

Athrun looked around, hesitating, and then shook his head. "Not in this wind and rain. Let's try to get to that place you found. Here-," He grabbed the blanket and threw it over their heads. "Better have some shelter than none."

Both of them kept under the cloth, moving down the slope with great care, trying their best to ignore the strong gusts. While neither of them were likely get blown away, the wind increased the difficulty of navigating through the thundering rain, and slippery footing daunted their efforts.

"Let's get to the church," She heard Athrun shout. "Before the storm gets worse!"

And finally spotted the hulking shape of the ruined structure before them, and with relief, made their way into the church.

As they threw open the door and stumbled through, Cagalli heard a crash of thunder, rather like a piano being thrown down the stairs.

She turned around, staring the sky. Then lightning darted as a gold dragon in the sky for a second, making her flinch but nothing untoward happened. Closing what she could of the ruined door quickly, she turned around to face Athrun.

With gratefulness, Cagalli suddenly realised that the tiny cross was functioning as a lightning-conductor, and she grinned at Athrun, who was standing near the empty fire place and shivering obviously.

They were both drenched to the bone, and even the door she'd slammed shut was in a sorry state. The wind that blasted in made her wince, and she glanced around and saw that the remaining furniture looked like mossy boulders with the vines entangled around them.

Exhausted, Cagalli moved to Athrun, feeling bruised and sore, and took his hand. Smiling reassuringly, he bid her to sit, and they eventually stretched out on the wooden floor, gazing at each other.

"Are you alright?" Athrun asked her in concern.

She grinned and nodded.

Cagalli reached out and laid a shivering hand on his cheek. "Thank goodness we're in here."

"Your teeth are chattering," He said in realisation. While he had been half-submerged in the water, she had been soaked in it thoroughly. Either way, they were both going to catch a chill, but Cagalli would catch it first.

"No I'm not," She retorted, and realised that her teeth were doing the talking. She blushed, although he saw that her lips were pale.

Getting up, Athrun took the picnic blanket and wringed it with as much force as he could muster, forcing her to sit up and swathing her in it.

"Not the best of options," He said regretfully, "But it'll have to do for now. At least the worst of wind won't get at you. "

She looked stubbornly at him. "You should take it."

He shook his head. "You saved my life, remember?"

"Besides," Athrun added wryly, "I can handle the cold a lot better than you- you live in a sunny, sunny Orb."

"We've got seasons too," She retorted, except that her teeth distorted her words.

"Except that they are all moderated by the seas surround Orb." He reminded her. "But this place is quite far inland, even though we are surrounded by seas too. This place is susceptible to the best and worst of weather, which I doubt you're used to."

"What about you?" She retorted.

Athrun laughed. "Don't worry about me, I've been through crappier cold than this."

"Okay," Cagalli said gratefully, gripping the blanket. It was still a little damp, and her clothes seemed heavy with water but too thin for the cold at the same time. He seemed to realise that the dampish blanket did her little good, and got up.

Athrun stalked over to the fireplace, looking up the chimney and examining it before scouting around the sizeable room.

There was a brass alter with candlesticks, though that would do them little good. He fumbled around, looking for something, and held up a box of matches triumphantly.

"The floorboards here are already goners. They're dry enough." Reaching down, he yanked the edge of one and brought his heel down at the other end to break it loose.

When Athrun was satisfied that he had enough to get a decent blaze going for a few hours, he turned back to the fireplace. If they ran out of firewood, then, well-

He gazed back to the rest of the floor, deciding that he would uproot the whole floor if he had to. Then striking a match, he threw it into the stone fire place and dropped tossed the wood in stepping back.

Meanwhile, Cagalli forced herself to pay attention to what he was doing to fight off the increasingly sluggish feeling that was conquering her.

Athrun stood for a while, taking care that only the wood on the other side of the hearth would ignite.

With even more obvious caution, he lit another match, this time for the candles, heating the room a little as well.

"Come here and get some warmth." Athrun glanced back as Cagalli struggled to make her cold-numbed legs function.

She moved closer to the fireplace while he took the wet blanket and lay it down on the hot rocks of the hearth, though away from the fireplace to avoid the errant spark. "Lie here for a bit. The hearth should heat you up a little."

So Cagalli gratefully lay down, facing the flames and curling up into a huddled ball, trying to conserve her body temperature.

She heard Athrun move away, and heard the articulation of wood breaking and fracturing, punctuated occasionally by loud clattering complaints as they were tossed into a pile.

Beyond this, the storm raged overhead, and the thunder shook the woebegone building incessantly.

The erratic lighting made the place light up in strange coloured indigos and violets. Cagalli closed her eyes, concentrating on the steady glow of firelight.

She hadn't even been aware she had dozed off for a few minutes until she felt Athrun shaking her into consciousness, and she struggled through the thick quagmire of stupor.

"Get undressed." he said, and his eyes were worried. She shot awake immediately, and coloured deeply. She saw he had removed his shirt at some point, and it was hanging on a piece of timber propped up by the fire to dry.

He did not notice her embarrassment, however. "Sit up."

Cagalli muttered in protest, but he wasn't having any of it, sliding his hands under her arms, gripping her sides, pulling her to sit up. The fire seemed a bit stronger, because the rocks had taken on a brief red glow.

Blearily, she felt his arms lift, along with her blouse, and she was too drowsy to say anything, though she vaguely recalled embarrassment then. Her skirt soon followed, and a warmer cloth was being rubbed over her hair, face and arms, then legs. She was too sleepy to realise that it was the blanket that had been warmed on the stones.

Lying down again quickly, unconsciously tending towards the heat of the fire, Cagalli sighed in pleased relief at the moist sensation filtering up from the hearth. Athrun lay down behind her, spooning his body against hers, draping his arm over her stomach and holding her close.

His hair, like hers, was still a little wet, but at least their bodies were drier and warmer now. He had removed his clothes as well, and the warmth circulating between their bare flesh made her feel comforted, as did the cheerfully crackling fire.

And Cagalli carefully rolled over onto her other side, facing Athrun with her back to the fire. With her eyes shut, she snuggled closer, nuzzling his bare chest, liking the sensation of his arms around her. "You're warm," she mumbled, her words slurred by her tiredness.

"Feeling better?" he asked softly, and his breath was a mist against her ear. The tiny clouds were thick enough for her to insert captions into them, she thought with a giggle.

"Much more." Cagalli admitted. "Also because we're here and alive after surviving that screwy bout of weather."

That prompted a chuckle that she felt more than heard. The sound was rumbling like the thunder above their heads, but this one low in his chest. "I'll say."

"The storm's not so bad. A bit cold, but not too bad." She hugged him tighter, her arms shifting around his back and waist now. "Can you hug me tighter too? I want more warmth."

He did, and she shifted a little, brining her knees up to his warm abdomen. Her voice was sheepish. "Can you take off your pants, please?"

He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

She buried her head in the crook of his neck to hide her face, muttering hastily, "Don't get the wrong idea. It's just that cold and wet shorts are uncomfortable to be near to. Besides, I wouldn't have to rely on this weather if I wanted you to undress."

He laughed, teasing her. "Is this what they say about convent girls? All posh and innocent, and then underneath, really wild and crazy?"

"Hey!" Cagalli protested. "I was a good convent girl! And it didn't teach me anything I didn't already know about!"

He considered this, then grinned boyishly, surprising her. When had he looked so vulnerable and unsecretive? "Well, we'll agree to be proper and fair then. I'll undress fully, and we'll behave as responsible adults should."

"Fine." She said after a pause and a deepening blush.

He stood, gently pushing her off him, and she sat up sluggishly, bringing her arms around his midriff.

Then slowly, she slipped her hands to his shorts to tug them down, and he moved out of his last garment, averting her eyes even when the blush on her cheeks was clear.

"Are you actually embarrassed?" Athrun asked wryly.

She coloured again. "It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before, so stop it."

Chuckling, he sat slowly, facing her as he stroked her cheek lovingly, and she closed her eyes, smiling back at him. Then Athrun laid down as he joined her, moving their clothes a little nearer to the fire to dry faster.

Cagalli leaned closer, tenderly grazing her lips against his. Suddenly, she was too shy to bring herself closer to him when they were so entirely naked.

There was something different about this, something different about how they'd touched in the past. That hadn't felt wrong then, but it hadn't felt quite right either, even if it had felt distinctively pleasant.

Now there was something honest about them, a certain aspect of their relationship that had changed again.

She kissed him, a strange sense of urgency uncoiling within her, fuelled by the adrenaline and storm. The erratic crashes of sound beyond and above them made the sense of danger invade the atmosphere, and she felt as if their lives were but momentary and their desires unfulfilled for too long.

Perhaps this was the time to change that.

A low moan escaped her as their lips parted, the kiss deepening, his tongue invading her mouth to brush against her own in possessiveness.

Then wilfully and in the heat of the moment, she slipped a hand to his firm thighs and brushed her hand against him as he groaned into the kiss.

Then teasingly, she brought the hand to his shoulder and settled against him, feeling him grow against her thighs.

He murmured her name and laid his mouth on her neck, biting the point where her nerves seemed to agglomerate. In retaliation for teasing him, he reached to her breasts and ran his hands across them.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "I thought you said we'd behave properly!"

"You started it." Athrun told her huskily. "You had to go and do that first."

Almost desperately, she clung to him, her fingers tightening against his warm, now slightly feverish skin, matching their greedy kisses with her own hunger.

She felt light-headed, exploring his mouth, and the erratic drumming of the rain and thunder pattered and was reduced to one of sensation and fire. The primacy of the elements and their desire was well-matched, and she knew that the kiss was becoming more urgent.

Cagalli wasn't certain when they had moved, for she was now on her back, his arms under her, supporting the back of her head.

Her heart pounded in an unsteady, erratic rhythm as Athrun's lips left hers, leaving a trail of searing kisses down her neck, kisses that were both sweet and slightly uncomfortable, making her squirm.

"When will you marry Marlin?" He asked abruptly, although not unkindly.

She slid her arms around him, her fingers trailing against his back, tracing up his spine and the rigid bone beneath his skin.

Nervously, she stared at him. "Soon. By my next birthday."

"And you must bear him a child." He murmured.

"That's why Lady Sahaku eventually abdicated." She said in a low voice. "She was proven barren even before she rejected the marriage clause. Of course, she was too broken-hearted by her twin's death to continue the reign of Orb."

"And Lord Uzumi?"

"Well, he adopted me, didn't he?" She muttered.

"What are you planning to do?" He asked hesitantly.

"I'll adopt a child like my father did, and hope that my people will accept that." She said bracingly. Suddenly, she was revealing her innermost thoughts to this man, without even clarifying them to herself in the first place. Closing her eyes, she felt him run his hands over her abdomen and rest on her hips. "I'll find something I can do so that I can have Orb."

"But if you marry Marlin," He said pensively, "You won't need to do that. Or any other man, for that matter."

She laughed nervously. "Ah- you reminded me of that." She had been so close to giving herself away.

"Supposing," Athrun said quietly, "You had already given your hand to someone other than Marlin. Supposing, you'd fulfilled your obligations by the time you returned-,"

"That's ridiculous!" Cagalli said brashly. "Impossible!"

Something flashed in his eyes. "But it is possible. In Plant, we are still engaged. You were mine even before you agreed to marry Yuuna- even before you agreed to marry Marlin."

"How?" She said in a hushed voice, not daring to believe him.

"Dullindal arranged for it when I returned to Plant." Athrun told her simply. "Did you think I left you in Orb merely for a war my father left behind? No. I thought I was fighting our own war too. Dullindal promised me support for our marriage when I went back there. Using his power, he approved of our to-be-marriage in Plant. He kept his word- even he."

Cagalli bit her lips."But I didn't. Is this your way of punishing me, Athrun? Is this the way you wanted me to feel when you brought me here? And now you tell me of what could have been in the past- the plans we might have carried through-,"

He studied her. Cagalli only understoof a tiny fraction of his real plans, and he decided that he would not burden her anymore than he already had. If only she knew what she was part of- if only Cagalli knew how improtant she really was in Plant and Zaft's plans! But he would not tell her.

If she thought he'd brought her here for his personal reasons, he'd let her think so. That way, she was less likely to try and escape, and that way, she'd be safer.

"In a way, yes. But revenge or duty doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Athrun said.

She put her arms around him, kissing him lightly. "No. This does."

He smiled softly, stroking her cheek. Let her think what she likes, Athurn decided. No matter what, he had been warned to keep her here until the six months were over. If she thought she was obliged to stay because of how close they were becoming, then he'd go along with that. He began to kiss her neck, and she arched to him.

Cagalli writhed slightly on the blanket he'd laid under them, her body moving almost on its own accord, responding to the heat as she nuzzled against his damp hair, kissing his cheek and forehead. He wanted to take her, Athrun knew, but suddenly, the guilt he bore within him grew too much. As her skin met his, he knew he couldn't do this to her. It was unfair, and he couldn't bear the thought of mistreating her more than he already had.

Head reeling, she turned her gaze to look at Athrun, who was now lying on his back beside her, eyes closed, breathing heavily. "Don't do anymore, Cagalli, it's not right. I have to tell you something else too."

"What?" she whispered, snuggling closer, shivering.

"I need to tell you about Lyra." Athrun said uncertainly. He owed her that at felt him sit up, and she sat up too, head spinning, not quite understanding.

"What about her?" Cagalli said softly. Aware of how serious he was being, she turned his face to hers, gazing at him.

"I married her here." He admitted, looking at her in the eye although she sensed fear and hesitation in him. "We lived as husband and wife for less than a month before we decided it couldn't go on. I wanted you to know, because it didn't seem fair that I had so many chances at happiness but never gave her a chance at hers."

Stunned, Cagalli's eyes widened. "Married-,"

"We exchanged our vows here." Athrun told her.

Unable to speak, she felt him touch her face lightly, as if to confirm she was still there.

"I promised her that we'd leave the Isle some day," Athrun said soberly. "I really wanted to start afresh and to forget all the wrongs I'd done by agreeing come here and teach those children how to kill. But I decided I couldn't do that- not when I didn't really love her. So I had to leave her." He dropped his gaze, unable to continue. "I'd lived with her in a house elsewhere on the Isle, because I coudln't bear to live in that Manor. You know what it's like, don't you? All corridors and rooms and empty places within the empty place."

"But the gardens?" She questioned, her heart beathing.

"I gave some cuttings to Ko, who was living back in the Manor. He planted those there," Athrun explained. "Why?"

"No, nothing." Cagalli murmured. Athrun looked at her, trying to ascertain ther thoughts. But he didn't have to, for she revealed those to him in the next moment.

"Athrun," Cagalli interjected softly, kneeling before him and turning his head to hers. "Thank you."

He looked at her, stunned. She kissed him lightly on the forehead, and he asked, puzzled, "What for?"

"For being honest." Cagalli said quietly. "You're always evading my questions, and you're always saying that some things don't matter. But they do matter to me, and this does as well. I know she meant great deal to you, even if you say you couldn't love her in the end. I would never begrudge you even if you had loved her. How could I? And this place means a lot to you too, doesn't it?"

"Yes," He confessed. "I couldn't bring her out of the Isle when I decided to marry her, and so we had our own little ceremony here. This was in preparation for the future, I told her. After all, this place was so run down even then that it seemed insufficient. I was planning to leave this place with her, and to start afresh elsewhere. That never happened. But we still said our vows here, so it did mean something, at very least."

She nodded, moved by what he was telling her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry I never told you about this." He said quietly. "I never thought it would matter because the marriage was a false hope anyway. Also, I was ashamed to tell you of how I couldn't fulfil that promise."

In that moment, Cagalli knew what it was to love. Love was senseless, selfless and made of the foolishness that the world would scorn, if love had not been at the root of all of it. She should have felt more betrayed, should have distanced herself immediately, but she knew that she accepted him- all his flaws, all his mistakes, and all he had done in his life.

Cagalli kissed his forehead, overcome with sadness and yet, understanding them both now. "I would never blame you."

"Are you hurt by what I told you?" Athrun said hesitantly.

"Not really because it made sense for you to move one," Cagalli said, "But maybe a little, because-," She paused, looking tentatively at him. "-because I never really managed to, no matter how hard I tried."

She hugged him, sliding into his embrace, and he moved over her, hugging her tight. As she kissed him, he began to experience an uncontrollable desire in him, and the weight off his chest made him want to respond to her affection.

But he couldn't- not even when he'd told her, because he didn't want her like this.
So Athrun pulled her away slightly.

"Not like this, Cagalli," he murmured, kissing her temple and wrapping his arm around her again for warmth.

"What do you mean?" She said shyly. "I don't want anything in exchange."

"Not here. Not in a derelict church in the middle of some nowhere like some illicit tryst." Athrun replied gravely. "I've said it so many times. You deserve much more."

She blushed furiously, burying her face against his chest, causing him to chuckle and continue.

"And if you're reacting like this," Athrun whispered, "I'm wagering you're not ready for the reality yet."

She curled up tighter against him, whispering an apology, afraid that he had mistaken her desire as an attempt to make him do her bidding. He stroked her hair, cradling her close to him.

"None needed at all." His lips brushed her forehead, then she felt him press her closer to him. "Although I'm fighting not to get excited around you." He admitted sheepishly, like an errant schoolboy.

She chuckled, running her hands suggestively around his waist. "You know, if they find us like this, in a church, no less-,"

"Good gracious," He said wryly. "I don't think we're gaining karmic points for this. If I proceeded to make love to you here, I think I would be struck by lightning as soon as I took half a step out of here."

Cagalli grinned, although her eyes were serious. "I'd probably go to hell with you, sooner or later."

"I think the later the better. I'm enjoying myself too much." He muttered. "We'll wait for the clothes to dry before we try to pretend we weren't doing anything naughty, alright?"

"Alright." She laughed.

But in the meantime, she couldn't help but occupy her time and his by tracing his mouth with her fingertips, fascinated by the way he smiled and frowned. His mouth was sometimes in a stern, white line across his face but it could be so capable of uncontrollable, searing passion.

He watched her while she amused herself by touching his face and memorising his features. There was a contentment he hadn't felt for a long time. Of course, the church itself was a harrowing place to be in, with its ruined state and his past experience in this place. But with her, everything seemed to be held at bay.

It occurred to him that he had somehow seen her as part of his being ever since he'd met her. It was impossible to forget her, the way his bonfire laughed and cried and fought against him until he could hold her entirely. A wave of possessiveness swept into him as he held her more tightly, thinking that she was his, his, everything of her belonged to him and only him.

He had only meant to save her, prevent her imminent harm. That was why he had agreed to stay on the Isle, tried so hard to watch her and prevent others from harming her, and even brought her here to prevent Greyfriars from killing her. But over the course of her time on The Isle, she had made him love her all over again, reminded him that he still belonged to her and was susceptible to her power.

And confound it- he still needed her.

If anything, he needed her more than ever. He knew more about her than he had ever known before, he understood her motivations, the same motivations he had failed to account for in the past. Now, it would be impossible for him to back off and let her simply return to Orb and forget him. And it was here that Athrun realised that he was afraid of dying without being remembered by her. He was certainly keeping her with him for duty's sake, now that he'd realised that her feelings for him made her hesitant in escaping. But at the same time, he wanted her here even beyond the scope of his duty.

She was breathing and smiling at him, not aware of the thoughts that ran through his head, and he was acutely aware of their fragility and vulnerability. He wasn't afraid to die, but he was afraid to die without her feeling any sense of loss.

What a selfish thought, Athrun remarked to himself, but he gazed at her, thinking of all that he'd done for her. Surely, insisting that she remembered him even after she went back to Orb wasn't too much to ask for?

Her eyes surveyed him innocently. "Penny?"

"Nothing really," Athrun smiled.

She chuckled, kissing his lips lightly. "I think the clothes are dry by now."

"Right." He said unwillingly, letting go of her shoulders and rolling away a little so that she could untangle herself and stand. He tried not to look as she got up, aware that she was shy of his gaze.

Their backs facing each other, they dressed hastily and sat down. She brought her knees to her, curling into a ball, trying not to feel embarrassed. Up to now, she was not accustomed to his gaze, and yet, she craved seeing the affection in his eyes.

He on the other hand, she noticed, was entirely comfortable in his own skin, and with good reason, she thought, blushing even more.

He tapped his fingers on the floor and remarked, "Hopefully, Epstein realises we're about to dry out and die."

"What makes you so sure?" She said. "He left and said he'd return indefinitely."

"He remarked that the weather would be good for two days." Athrun replied. "A slip of the tongue, I suppose, revealing his intentions. And it was a pretty inaccurate weather prediction too."

They looked at each other and began to laugh ruefully.

2 months. 28 days.