The Isle

by puzzlepuzzle

In the aftermath of the Second War, Athrun Zala vanished without a trace for seven years - Cagalli never thought to find him. But fate deviates when he comes to find her himself and a web of desire and deceit lies before them. Original Cover Art SEQUEL OUT. .

19. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I own nothing of GS/GSD. R&R please.

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Chapter 18

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Epstein was frantic, circling around the hill area. The rain was only beginning to lessen, and he wondered where Athrun and Cagalli could be.

"Screw the forecast!" He cried loudly, and the thunder boomed in the distance.

It was already morning, and the rain was slowing into a steady pitt-patter and yet, thunder was still present. Epstein felt panic and guilt bite at him- what if they'd gotten into trouble? What if they were lying somewhere, flushed like slugs into the river? Or dried out in some ditch?

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" He said desperately, talking to nobody in particular. The car honked loudly as he banged his hands against the wheel in absolute frustration. "I'm such a stupid bozo-,"

But suddenly, Epstein bolted up and spotted two small figures moving carefully down the slope. Shouting a cheer of relief and jubilation, he put the car into its gear and reversed slightly, dislodging the wheels from the thick mud, before shooting towards Athrun and Cagalli. Cagalli was holding a basket, and from the way it swung in her hands, it seemed mostly empty.

When they got in, Epstein began apologising profusely.

But Cagalli chuckled and said teasingly, "It's okay you know. We're still breathing."

"Yes," Athrun said drily, running a hand through his damp hair, "Despite your best efforts to get us killed together."

"But, but, I wasn't trying to do that! I was only trying to, you know-," Epstein's voice swung up by an octave in his nervousness. "Well anyway, it's good you're around now, because there's quite some work back there, waiting for you."

"Joy." Athrun said sardonically.

He turned to Cagalli, who was already glancing out of the window as Epstein began to start the car. "Cagalli, the scarf-,"

She looked at him a bit tensely but nodded, and from the review mirror, Epstein watched her bend forward, allowing Athrun to tie the scarf around her eyes. There was something different about them, Epstein realised. Something closer and harder to describe now.

Instead, Epstein remembered how aggressive Seven had sounded as he'd demanded to speak to the Fifth Eye. When Epstein had told Seven that the Fifth was on a business trip, Seven had been quiet for a few moments, and then said belligerently, "I want to speak to the Orb Princess."

Epstein had been unable to produce her, and Seven's silence had prolonged the tension. Then finally, Seven had cut the phone line, but not before ordering Epstein to get the Fifth Eye to call him back.

That call had come in for the Fifth Eye, and Epstein was sure Athrun had quite a bit to handle when he got back to the Manor.

After all, the Numbers did not call for minor reasons, and Seven had inevitably discovered that the Fifth Eye had taken the captive out, yet again.

---

"Say," the Seventh Eye, Tom Edgeworth said loudly, his arms crossed behind his head and his feet on Athrun's work table. "The Fifth Eye's got a nice place."

He was barely heard above the slobbering noises that Boarbaki was making while the twins patted and played with the mammoth dog. Black and very, very hairy, Boarbaki looked more like a bear than a dog.

"Gently, girls," Tom said, winking at them while they giggled. "Boarbaki's a bit crazy."

"Just like you then," Epstein said flatly, entering the study. He looked at the massive dog, frowning. "Boarbaki, I think you better get out of here soon. Tom, I did recall warning you that the dog was not allowed in here."

The maids reluctantly set down the tea they'd wheeled in. They curtseyed to Tom and Epstein before disappearing through the door.

Boarbaki sat up, whining sadly at the loss of his companions. Boarbaki came nearly to Tom's chest level, and Epstein shuddered at what the dog would have been like when standing on his hind legs. Boarbaki's body stretched out like a big, thick black rug and he could easily rip a grown man apart with those jaws.

"This is a nice place," Tom protested. "I couldn't leave Boarbaki out, could I?"

Boarbaki heard his name and barked, spraying spit into the air. Epstein laughed, pointing at the cupboard of files in the corner. "When you say he's got a nice place, do you mean this study?"

There was a small chandelier in the rather sizeable office Athrun used. A small chandelier, but a chandelier nonetheless. The lights winked secretively, and the flowers in the vases smiled, their ruffled faces soft and kindly.

Epstein looked around, realising that for all its former grandeur, the Danish Royals' summer palace had become something of a gigantic office for Rune Estragon.

"This used to be his bedroom right?" Tom said offhandedly, running his hand along the wooden desk where Athrun often worked.

Epstein nodded, pointing at the sofa. It could become a mattress. "It still is, actually." Athrun had always slept here before he'd recently begun occupying a room that was adjoined to Cagalli's.

"How like him to take this former palace and make it some kind of library for files." Tom snorted. "When he occupied this place, I thought he would use it for parties or something, but no. He made his bedroom an office. And the other rooms?"

Epstein shook his head, looking at Tom. "You know, the shipments often contain many, many refugees. Did you expect him to form camps along the hillsides?"

"Well, that was Plant's original plan," Tom said offhandedly. "But he takes them in and brings them back here, doesn't he?"

"Well, yes," Epstein agreed. "Women and children are more vulnerable."

They remained silent, looking around at the room Athrun had initially used as a bedroom until it had contained more files than anything else. Even Athrun's character was projected on the table. One end displayed his work files and the other a teapot he probably relied on when he wanted to burn the midnight oil.

There was no sign of frivolity on the table, save a small vial of alcohol-based scent and the lighter by it. And even then, that was to aid his concentration while he worked.

"He needs to be more modern," Tom decided, leaping up from the chair in a graceful arc. He pointed at the bookshelves at the far end. "He needs me to rearrange his things. Look at those! Mouldy old books for a mouldy old man!"

"That'll do, Tom." Athrun said mildly and quite suddenly. He strode in as Tom and Epstein whirled around, for a row of book shelves had moved open to admit him.

From the looks of it, Athrun had just finished his bath and had a towel around his shoulders, even if he was wearing a fresh set of clothes.

Currently, he gave Tom a half-amused, half-annoyed look while the shelves slid shut, hiding a passageway once more. "I absolutely reject whatever you just said about my preference for sanity."

Boarbaki stood up delightedly and trotted, or perhaps, thundered towards Athrun.

But Athrun grabbed a file and he swatted the dog away with it to prevent bipedal behaviour. Boarbaki had a terrifying habit of standing up and putting his paws on the shoulders of every person he felt friendly towards.

"Hey, don't be so mean." Tom complained for Boarbaki's sake.

Athrun's lips quirked as Boarbaki sat down sadly and gazed at him with woebegone eyes that were barely visible below his thick, dark fur. Vaguely, Athrun thought that Cagalli would have adored Boarbaki.

"Geez," Tom grumbled, moving out of the chair he'd occupied as Athrun slipped back into his seat. "I hate all these secret passages in this manor. You appear like a ghost every time we want to talk about you."

Athrun grinned, running a hand through his still damp hair. "It's shortcut from my room."

"Your room?" Tom exclaimed. "Isn't this your bedroom? Epstein, didn't you say-"

Epstein opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, and shut it promptly.

"No, don't be ridiculous." Athrun said briskly, looking fearlessly at Tom. "I meant another room which has a bathroom adjoined."

"Oh, okay." Tom mumbled, still looking a bit confused. Athrun looked down now, and his mild demeanour vanished. His eyes narrowed as they flew to Tom once more.

"Is this a coffee-stain circle on my desk?" Athrun demanded quite fiercely.

"Uh-huh," Tom said brightly, scratching his dark hair absent-mindedly. "You don't mind, do you?"

Epstein was already getting a tissue, and Athrun frowned, not saying anything.

Boarbaki made this worse by getting up and lumbering in front of the fire place, revealing a book that he had laid on after chewing about twenty pages of it first.

Athrun decided to reserve comment. However, he couldn't resist an icy glare at Tom.

"Fine!" Tom complained, taking the tissue from Epstein, who was looking at him pointedly. He began getting back to the desk he had spent a few hours drinking coffee at. "You're such a control-freak it's strange that the Orb Princess is into you!"

"What?" Athrun blanched. He looked at Epstein, who was staring straight at Tom in surprise too. Probably, Epstein hadn't informed Tom of anything, and it was unlikely anyway.

"Oh don't think I don't know," Tom said in a petulant voice, crumpling the tissue and tossing it somewhere into a bin. "I can put two and two together."

Epstein had cleverly excused himself already.

Perturbed, Athrun got up, gesturing to Tom to follow him. He took a seat in an arm chair in front of the unlighted fireplace, while Tom strode over and fluidly deposited his weight into one opposite Athrun's.

"What are you talking about, Tom?"

Tom rolled his good eye. "I'm not the brightest tool in the shed-,"

"Bulb in the box," Athrun interrupted.

"-bulb in the box," Tom continued, "But I'm one of the better tools in the house."

"Shed."

"Yes," Tom looked annoyed. "Shed. Anyway, Rune-Anal-Estragon, I have this eye of mine," He pointed to what lay behind his eye patch, "That could see you, all those steps away, downstairs, helping Cagalli Yula Atha out of the car."

Slowly, Athrun took a sip of the warm tea that the maids had placed on the table, and watched as Tom helped himself to a biscuit and Boarbaki helped himself to about ten. Together, they were shovelling the entire can of biscuits down their throats.

"She clung to you like her life depended on it," Tom said, chewing busily in a very canine manner, as Boarbaki could attest to. "The way she looked at you, that is-," He pointed at the window that overlooked the main entrance of the Manor and the steps that Cagalli had been led up, the scarf around her eyes.

Athrun's voice was amused, a few drops of sarcasm short of condescension. "Did you happen to notice the scarf around her eyes as she tried to climb up the steps?"

"Oh come on," Tom said cheekily, dismissing the factual contradiction. He helped himself to more tea.

It sloshed and Boarbaki looked at it longingly, licking his chops. "I know a smitten girl when I see one. Uncanny. You got such a difficult person to eat out of the palm of your hand, just like Boarbaki here-,"

He waved a biscuit in the air and Boarbaki laid down, stood up, rolled around, chased his tail in a circle, doing all the tricks he had been taught to do and confusing them in his excitement before barking loudly.

Athrun stared at the dog and thought that it was rather like watching a tsunami of fur crash everywhere onto the carpet. He made a mental note to get the twins to vacuum the area later. Or better yet, he'd do it himself.

"You're relying on more than what you just saw to say that we are in a relationship," Athrun said mildly, "Aren't you?"

"Damn, you're good!" Tom looked incredibly disappointed.

Athrun narrowed his eyes. "And what would that be?"

"I reckon it's the way Sheba refuses to tell me anything." Tom announced proudly.

Athrun's mouth twitched. "And you inferred from her silence that I'm involved with the Orb Princess beyond the scope of duty?"

"Fine, fine," Tom said caustically, "Not the strongest bit of proof, I know. But Sheba is the sort who normally says what she has to say, and I could tell she was really trying her best to get me out of her place."

"She wouldn't have been the last person." Athrun said pointedly.

"Yeah, whatever," Tom said flippantly. "But usually Sheba tolerates me- that day when I asked about you, she was extremely unwilling to have me around in the place."

"Maybe it was a cumulative process of irritation," Athrun suggested sarcastically. "Maybe it was like a budding allergy to you."

Tom rolled his eye again, as was his habit, leaping up and out of the armchair. Boarbaki stood up, alert at the change of his master's mood.

"Well," Tom said testily, "Maybe I should tell you that I called Seven from this office. I was meddling around-, He pointed at what seemed like an innocuous photograph that blocked a panel of buttons, "And called the last caller accidentally. Turns out that Seven picked up. Before he even verified who was speaking, Seven exploded, calling me an asshole and saying that I was endangering everything by getting close to the captive! Of course, he didn't mean me, but you!"

Athrun remained in his seat, drew in a breath and adjusted his expression, but it was too late. Tom's good eye narrowed triumphantly and he looked aggressively at Athrun.

Tom's voice grew louder. "I've always had the luck, haven't I? It isn't like Seven to make this kind of mistake, but he made it today! I bet he was just rearing to chew your head off, and he'd been waiting for you to call him back! When I finally got a word in and told him who I was, he just clammed up, ordered me to forget what he'd said, and cut the line! No explanation, nothing! So what then? Am I suppose to pretend nothing's happening underneath my nose?"

"Tom," Athrun said coldly now, "You had no business messing around."

"Don't tell me what business I have or don't have!" Tom suddenly yelled. Boarbaki's hackles raised, and Athrun knew the dog would attack on the slightest command Tom gave. Boarbaki, no matter how friendly he seemed, was loyal only to Tom.

Getting up from his seat and looking at Tom, Athrun patted his shoulder a little. This was mostly for Boarbaki's sake than Tom's. Seeing the contact, Boarbaki realised that things were still fine and relaxed a little, staring balefully at the humans.

"I think you've misunderstood me." Athrun said in a low voice. He set his cup in his saucer and put it down on the tray.

Tom looked downcast, his head drooping like his dog's too. "I'm not trying to interfere with your business, Rune, I'm just trying to understand what's going on."

"There's really nothing going on." Athrun said mildly, controlling his emotions. On one hand, he could not blame Tom, but on the other, he did not want to give away his secrets. "She's just a captive. You know that, don't you? Nothing else matters except duty. I brought her out each time just to make sure she didn't try to escape. I've told you this before."

Tom's eye flashed back to Athrun. "Then have you developed feelings for her? Was that why Seven was so upset when he knew you'd brought her out?"

"What if I say yes?" Athrun said abruptly.

Tom spluttered, "Surely not-? She's only a captive-,"

"I'm just talking of supposition." Athrun interjected.

Tom paused, suddenly looking very grave. He stood up straight and tall, squaring his shoulders. "I wouldn't say a word, Rune. For you to develop feelings for her, it must have been inevitable in the first place. I won't say a word to the others, I swear."

"There's no need to," Athrun said smoothly, folding his arms. "We are on good relations but nothing more than that. And even then, I established those so she would keep her mind away from trying to escape."

Tom beamed, looking visibly relieved. He flopped back into his seat, looking much calmer and more willing to talk without bristling in agitation. His voice was a little sigh.

"Well, that's settled! Phew!"

"Why such relief?" Athrun said warily. He stood from where he was, watching Tom pat Boarbaki, who whined and snuffled his knee, then came to Athrun to seek the same attention. Athrun ignored Boarbaki.

"To be honest," Tom admitted, "I did think that you'd begun to develop feelings for her. I would feel bad if you had. The plans would be a little tougher from me to carry out."

Athrun looked at Tom, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"Seven told me that the Numbers are nervous about her getting too familiar with this place. I've been put in charge of handling her, so when I leave in an hour's time, she'll come with me." Tom said in a matter-of-factly voice. He drank some more tea, oblivious to Boarbaki's whining.

Athrun stared at him.

---

Her twenty-third birthday had come and gone without her really noticing it. She didn't want to either- there were too many memories of the last one that she wanted to forget. Of course, life never went the way she wanted it to. She'd had to celebrate her twenty-third birthday four times so far. During the official one, she'd been silently panicking, still afraid and still wary of everybody. At least, that had gone without any problem, except for how the cake had been insufficient. The second one had been with her colleagues, the third with Aaron and his niece, and the fourth a surprise.

She was saying goodbye to those still left in the office. It was a Friday evening, and plenty of them had finished work early and headed to town to spend the night in frivolous partying.

Not her though. He'd been watching for three weeks now, and she hadn't. She always drove home. He was half thankful for that, because he wouldn't have to continue sitting in front of a screen if she got home early.

But on the other hand, he was curious to see who she spent her time with outside work. He watched her say goodbye to Aaron Biliensky, who looked at her concernedly and said, "You better get a good soak-in tonight and then rest."

She nodded- he could feel her nodding, and he could see Aaron's expression grow more concerned.

"It was a good thing that that fellow- that former ace pilot- what's his name-,"

"Shinn," She told him, grinning a little. "Shinn Asuka."

"Yes, that fellow called me and asked if you were around so he could speak to you." Aaron told her quietly, obviously afraid that someone would overhear. "Thank God he did, or I wouldn't have gone downstairs and found you sleeping in your car with all the doors locked. Holy Haumea, what a relief. I thank God."

"You're an atheist." She pointed out. Aaron had often used God's name in vain for as trivial a thing like dropping a file. She thought of the way he would screech "Holy Mother-," and laughed.

Aaron put his hands on his hips, showing how upset he was. "That's not the point. The point is that that company's pants ought to be sued right off them! What kind of service is that? And you! You and your habit of falling asleep in the car!"

"Oh come on, Aaron." Cagalli protested. "You know I do it all the time in the mornings when I come a bit too early and the gates of the office haven't been unlocked! You know I leave the house early to avoid traffic jams and want to catch some shut eye in my car, in the car park!"

"Yeah, that's reasonable," Aaron snapped, "But the maintenance of your car sucks! Those locks weren't working- they locked permanently that morning when your got in and drove out, and that was like, just one day after you got your car serviced! Those idiots at the garage-,"

She tried to calm him down. "No worry, I'm fine. It was just a mistake on their part, they're sorry, so I don't think you should actually sue them-,"

"Like hell they can get away with their negligence." He snapped loudly. "If I didn't find you in that car, you would have continued sleeping on in there, with those doors locked. And the manufacturers say this hasn't happened to them before! Pish! If I didn't smash those windows, which by the way, were supposed to be bullet-proofed-,"

Cagalli looked very guilty as he shot her a death glare.

"-you'd have been dead meat." Aaron concluded. "And I while it's lucky your windows could be smashed, I'm wondering why they weren't bullet-proofed."

He looked accusingly at her and she had the decency to blush. She stammered, "Well, I was saving up for another car and I thought I'd save some cost while having this one and-," She trailed off as Aaron turned distinctively purple.

"Shit Cagalli, don't play with your safety like that! If you'd wanted a loan for a new car, I'd have lent you the money any day!"

Seated in front of the screen, Athrun was treated with a very nice view of a well-cut jacket that Aaron was wearing, although he could not see Aaron's face from where Cagalli's pen was- in her shirt pocket.

"Thank you Aaron," Cagalli chuckled. "You really saved my ass back there before anything could go wrong. Not that anything was going to, really. But I didn't even know I'd fallen asleep in there until I heard a loud noise and realised your head was poking through the car window. Of course, you were screaming into my ear, so I had to wake up and all that."

"Well, that's true." Aaron said primly, and Athrun watched him pour a cup of tea for himself as the cup moved out of the screen of vision. Aaron was probably drinking. "You really live an exciting life, don't you? First that twenty-third birthday party you had a week ago where all those big names came to visit you, and then this minor accident that-," He shuddered. "Ugh- I don't even want to imagine it."

"You're right about the exciting life that I lead though," Cagalli joked. She was packing her things now. "Kira and Lacus planned a surprise birthday party and I met some familiar friends again. It was actually quite nice."

Athrun knew exactly who she was referring to. Shinn had turned up on his request and had been watching over her all this while. Shinn had been reluctant too, but Athrun had called in the life debt that Shinn had owed him since the battle of Messiah.

Cagalli had invited Shinn home last evening, but of course, Athrun already knew that. Shinn had been very reluctant to go to the Atha Estate, but Athrun had insisted that he go.

"It's your fault," Shinn had said, irritated. "You made me accept Kira's invitation to her surprise birthday party, and you made me spy around."

"It's good though, you saved her life."

"Yeah, but then I had to call Aaron Biliensky and pretend I wanted to speak to Atha. And then she called me back later and asked what I wanted to talk about, and I had to make up some excuse that it wasn't convenient to say over the phone either. And now I've been invited to her place because she says she needs to talk to me anyway, and bloody hell- it's going to be so awkward."

Shinn Asuka had appeared at Cagalli's surprise birthday party because Athrun had asked him to accept the invitation he'd gotten from Kira. While in Orb, Shinn had tailed her car every morning, sometimes on a motorbike, sometimes in different rented cars. Last week, he'd noticed that she'd had to send her car for the annual maintenances. He'd noticed non-authorised staff tampering with it, and he'd alerted Athrun.

Athrun had then instructed him to call Aaron and make sure Cagalli was fine, and for that, Shinn was now stuck with having to go to see Cagalli. Athrun had allowed himself a laugh. "Go. I'll be watching, so don't think you can pull out of the favour you owe me. And while you're there, Shinn, help me look around and see if the place has been bugged. Check the usual areas."

Shinn had made a sound of deep annoyance. "You're assuming that I'm going to the Atha Estate to hear her say her thank-yous on me having randomly called her up and somehow preventing some catastrophe from happening. And you're assuming I'll be able to rifle around the house like nobody's business."

"Use your imagination." Athrun had told him. "Just find a way. And make sure if there are any bugs, they get removed."

"There's probably only one," Shinn had grumbled. "And I'm sure you don't want me to get rid of that one."

Now, Athrun watched as Aaron came to stand besides Cagalli. "Say. Is that pen your brother's birthday gift to you?"

"No. From the Head General of Zaft- Yzak Joule and his fiancée, Shiho Hahnenfuss." She lifted it, showing it to Aaron. The screen focused on Aaron's admiring gaze, and Cagalli's voice in the background said, "I thought it was rather spiffy."

"Yes it is," Aaron agreed. Athrun watched his eyes move- they must have returned to Cagalli. "Very, very nice. Elegant, not too flashy, and quite simple looking. I approve, absolutely. Looks very expensive though. And you didn't return it because?"

"Because it was presented to me by Shiho!" Cagalli said insistently. "If it had been the Head General, I would have told them I couldn't accept the expensive gift. It would have looked a bit-," She trailed off, shrugging.

"Yep, I get you." Aaron said musingly. "You'd look like you were taking favours from Zaft or something. But maybe you're being a bit paranoid? You ended up returning almost everything except the gifts that couple gave you and your brother and his wife's gift."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry. Can't have me looking like I accept bribes, can I?" Cagalli said seriously.

Athrun knew. He had known exactly what she would feel comfortable accepting, and so he'd chosen a pen. A pen was suitably expensive, suitably presentable, suitably small, and suitably easy to plant a camera in. It had come from Shiho, on behalf of Yzak and her.

For those reasons, Cagalli had carried the pen around, as Shiho had made her promise to do. Of course, Shiho had been asked by Yzak to make Cagalli promise to do that, and Yzak in turn, had been asked by Athrun to make Cagalli do that. When Athrun had requested that Yzak do as he said, Yzak had violently objected at first.

"Look, I know you want to give your old flame a present and all. But through me? And Shiho? Shiho will think I'm crazy!" Yzak had blurted out. "Or that I'm cheating on her or something by insisting that she present it and ask Cagalli Yula Atha to carry it around!"

"Try telling Shiho this." Athrun had suggested. "Say that it cost you a pretty penny, and Shiho will naturally think that you want Cagalli Yula Atha to make good use of such an expensive gift."

"It's just a pen, for crying out loud!"

"Try it." Athrun had insisted.

As Yzak had told him later, Shiho had believed him quite readily. Shiho had convinced Cagalli to begin carrying the pen around. But Shiho had only done so because she thought Yzak would be upset if the supposedly-expensive gift was not being used. So Athrun's little trick had worked.

"See?" Athrun had said over the phone, in a deadpanned voice. "Being cheap becomes you, Seven."

"Fuck you, Zala!"

But then, even Yzak didn't quite know why Athrun had insisted that the pen be given to Cagalli, although Athrun was sure Yzak suspected why. Yzak was not stupid, that was for sure. Yzak must have suspected that the pen had been tampered with.

But surely, Athrun thought to himself now, the fact that his fears had materialised was ample justification for his insistence that Cagalli take and keep the pen, carrying it with her to use.

Her car had been tampered with, a week after her twenty-third birthday. Even before that, he'd been surveying her, making sure that Greyfriars would fail. He could not allow her to die like that without knowing who'd even harmed her.

At this point, Athrun was curious to see what Cagalli had to say to Shinn. That would be tomorrow night, and hopefully, Cagalli would be carrying the pen with her at that time. Also, he wanted Shinn to remove any bugs in the house, if there were any. But Athrun was quite sure that nobody had tampered with her house. Nobody could have gotten into her estate even, what with the complicated gates that walled everything out.

As Cagalli's unassuming, even plain looking black car moved through the estate's gates, he wondered if he had done enough for today. Usually, once she was through the gates, she was home and safe.

But today, something compelled him to continue watching.

He knew the patterns- she would leave the office after saying goodbye to those who were still left there, then get into the parking lot, get to her car, wave off the bodyguards who were still insisting that they follow her to her gate at very least, and then drive home.

She was too lax, he thought briefly. Far too inviting of the risks. So far though, she seemed to have at least the reason of experience for being this lax. Nobody had ever attempted anything as she had driven home.

So he should have turned away, switching everything off, and getting some rest too. But today, he decided he wanted to watch a little longer. For no reason, really, he assured himself. Nothing at all. Or if there was a reason, it was only because he was too lazy to get out of the seat yet.

If she had been quite silent in the car, save the occasional mutters of annoyance at some crazy driver who had probably cut into her lane, now she was a little more vocal. Athrun assumed the uncourteous drivers she had met were not aware that the driver was Cagalli Yula Atha.

In the late evening or night, most drivers looked the same to the other drivers- either because they were all tired, or because light was diminishing.

He heard keys, and saw darkness. She must have shifted her handbag to her chest, trying to have more ease with opening the door. Then he heard her shut the door and vision was restored. She must have set down the bag.

She was groaning, stretching to reach for her shoes, yanking one off, and then kicking the other.

From where he sat, he heard those made dissatisfied, clacking noises as they were flung off.

He saw only her knees and then feet as she bent down before straightening up again. It was all in a matter of seconds. The pen in her pocket was lurching dangerously, but it was not falling out. She had clipped it to her shirt pocket.

In the basement of his study, he watched her feet patter, in their unmended stockings. Her feet crossed to the carpet of what he recognised as her living room. Some bits of her toenail polish were chipped, he could see that now.

She must have noticed it, for he saw her hands travel lightly over the scarlet colour and he heard her muttering something about Aaron and his harebrained ideas on manicures. But then the view veered back again, and he knew she had straightened up completely.

There was a blur of colour for a second as the camera's view adjusted slowly. Cagalli was flopping backwards, he assumed, what with her sigh that spoke volumes about how hard she had been working in the office.

She remained stagnant for a very long time.

He got up from where he was sitting, observing her actions still. He took a mug from a table some distance away, eyes still trained on the large screen he had been sitting in front of. The bitter taste of the coffee made him a little less tired, and he was determined not to take his eyes off her.

For weeks now, he had been surveying her more closely than before, afraid of some hidden risk he had not noticed. He had no reason to at this point, because she was at home and she was safe.

Watching as she worked, watching as she met people in her office- all that was right. Watching her drive was important too- they could have planted something in there or tampered with her car, just as they had weeks ago. If he hadn't been watching, he wouldn't have intervened in time.

But watching her at home at this point, felt like he was invading her privacy. There was just no more excuse to watch her, but he gave himself one- that he wanted to make sure she was really, really safe.

And so, he watched.

Her hands came into view along with her elbows. She was surveying her painted nails now and humming something under her breath. Aaron had insisted that she try on some nail colour, and it had amused Athrun to see her agree eventually.

So she did have some kind of vanity, he realised amusedly. Then he shook his head quickly, as if to rid thoughts of familiarity with the subject.

Then she leapt up quite abruptly and the image projected on his screen jammed for a second because a small camera could not possibly have the best visuals. It was good enough, however.

She must have stretched, for the view was not of her feet but a door she was walking towards. Tense, Athrun set aside his mug and hurried back into his chair, watching carefully.

The door opened although he did not see her opening it from the angle he was viewing things at. It was all coral and pearl coloured and he blinked blearily, feeling strangely agitated even though his body was exhausted. There was that restlessness, that twitching frustration in him, despite how tired he thought he had been. It was probably the caffeine.

She was silent for quite some time, and he wondered what was happening. The screen was still stagnant- possibly, she was not moving, or the image had jammed from its transmitting point. Praying it was the former, Athrun peered a little closer.

Thankfully, it was. The image began to move, and what he saw was from the perspective of the camera in the pen she had in her shirt pocket. The view was limited, but he could see something that resembled a sink, then darkness for a second or two, then those dominant colours again.

Next, her foot's shadow moved over his vision, and he realised she must have pulled off her shirt and discarded it to the floor. She must have done it in such a manner that the pen in her pocket was facing upwards to the ceiling.

But what happened next plagued him for a long time to come, and it haunted his dreams and formed the impetus to give into the temptation when she'd offered him half her body all those years later.

As she undressed, he found he had lost the will or sense of proprietary to pry his eyes away from the camera.

Cloth threatened to block the four cornered vision before him as she dropped other articles of clothes, but he could still observe Cagalli. She was humming softly to herself, and he watched her fumble clumsily, trying to get at the brassiere she wore. The manner she tried to free herself was akin to a dog chasing its own tail.

He watched in semi-amusement and some interest, prepared to get up and finish his coffee in the meantime.

But then, she finally caught hold of it and undid it, pulling it off with a relived little sound. And when she turned to the side and then spun to the front, he could not help what transpired next.

He could see three-quarters of her from where he sat. A tremor passed through him, and it seemed to pool in his solar plexus.

Suddenly, the dark-coloured, plain wool skirt and the stern black stockings she wore seemed ill-fitting and too stark against the honeyed skin. She would have been better off wearing more sensuous material. Her breasts were full and enticing, bouncing slightly as she raised her arms and ran her hands through her hair, mussing it while absent-mindedly muttering something to herself.

He was reminded of the tiny crabs she'd tried to get free from.

The blonde hair she kept near shoulder-length looked like golden cotton, spun fine and bright. Uncomfortably, he shifted, wondering why he didn't have the willpower to pull the plug.

She tucked back the hair behind her right ear, and he became aware of how feminine she was with that slight gesture. That tiny movement had the same impact as her screaming for help had all those years ago; when he'd suddenly realised that he had been about to kill a girl.

As she lifted her arms to her neck, massaging to get at a crick, he sat, stunned.

A small diamond stud glinted in the soft light as her fingers brushed unconsciously against her earlobe, and that action of her tucking her hair behind her ear seemed more erotic than anything he had ever seen or experienced.

He wasn't quite so sure why, but perhaps it was that revealing of her femininity, the way she privately indulged in a bit of vanity. It was very attractive.

He noticed a thin silver chain around her fine, delicate neck. That was safe, he knew. Lacus had given that too her just weeks ago, and Cagalli had put those on in delight. He knew. He had watched her then.

It had struck him then that he never knew she wouldn't mind wearing jewellery. Now he knew though, that she was just as taken with those things as any female would be, despite how she seemed detached from a woman's vanity.

Come to think of it, he had never seen her wear a dress for him apart from those social events she had been forced to attend; those he'd accompanied her to as Alex Dino. Nor had she worn any jewellery then- she'd been rather against any trinkets, saying that they weren't for girls like her.

He hadn't said anything in the past, only found her ways refreshing and unusual. But seeing her like this, seeing how at ease she was in private, he realised he hadn't recognised her insecurity then. She had been afraid to show her femininity, afraid that people would look down on her for that.

His heart ached. If only he had seen that then, and had told her that she had nothing to be ashamed or insecure about.

Now, her expression was lost as she rubbed her face with one hand, and he could imagine what it would be like to take that hand away to see her face again. Her lips were wet as she bit them slightly, fumbling still.

Then she began to tiptoe, trying to get at something at a shelf, and he stared at her, still transfixed by the shadow she cast.

Her calves gleamed white, her heels raised in the air, en pointe, a sylph or ballerina except that her body was a woman's. Her nipples looked pert and hard, and he imagined they would feel that way against his lips and in his mouth. The small diamond pendant framed by tiny pearls glinted as she struggled a little, nestled between her full breasts.

She deserved so much more, he thought dazedly. Why didn't he know that she wouldn't mind wearing these diamonds? He would have given her all the jewels she could wear, all the dresses she would wear for him- anything that could tell her how he felt; anything that could return them back to the short time they'd had together, anything to save what he'd ruined by leaving her for a war.

He'd have given anything to be there, to present her with all the diamonds that she could have. All the pearls she could wear, around those fine, slender wrists, he thought fervently, and all the rubies, emerald, sapphires and topaz she wanted. If he could meet her again, he'd give everything he could give- more than just that ring.

And he ran his hands across the screen, unconsciously placing his cheek against the screen, against her.

She did not seem to notice anything about herself as she continued stretching, trying to get at something he could not see. He was stiff with desire, and uncontrollably, he reached to himself, undoing his belt and trying to appease himself, although he tried to remind himself that he did not love her anymore.

That was all he needed- a physical release, he told himself. Nothing more. He was not supposed to feel anything for her.

But she was so beautiful, he thought dazedly. For these past few months, as he'd been watching her, he had become incredibly aware of her habits. Her colleagues respected her, got along well with her with the easy camaraderie she'd established with them.

To try and distract himself, he glanced at his table. The files were strewn across, where he'd be reading those. These started from only the time she'd returned Orb after the First War, and even then, he knew these weren't complete. There was no mention of Alex Dino, any engagement plans they'd made- nothing. It was as if he'd never existed. He could feel something ache in him, and the warning signs of that caused him to get out of his chair, trying not to remember her.

Watching her these past few weeks had made him realise, though not for the first time, how lovely she was- how physically desirable and attractive she was. He'd seen the way she spoke naturally and without any stiffness to Aaron when they were in private; the way they joked and laughed, and even the way she tapped her fingers against the desk when she worked at times.

He'd witnessed the way she often chose to eat lunch alone even when colleagues were asking her to go along with them; the way the wind blew at her hair and the way she sometimes cried alone even though she seemed contented and fine for most of the time.

He knew. He'd seen from the view from the pen she put in her pocket small tears fall onto her trembling fingers as she ate. He did not know the reason why. He wasn't supposed to know why or care to know why.

He tried to remind himself that he didn't care who she was. This was only a matter of physical gratification. At least, he kept repeating that as he whispered her name once, thirstily, seeking the memories he thought he'd already relinquished.

Yet, this- this was something more than observing the subject as part of his duties. This wasn't even like watching some banal, erotic film that would satisfy men and their mere physical cravings. There was something more disconcerting, more incongruous, more tempting, more painful about watching her like this. She was entirely milky white from where he sat watching her, the soft light flattering to her already delicate features.

If in the past, she had seemed impatient, bursting with passion and mad energy as a girl that had not quite accepted womanhood, Cagalli had gone past that point now. She had blossomed, he could see, and she'd somehow bloomed without being able to prevent it.

She had become a woman to the point so physically and probably even psychologically, that she could not deny it, least of all anyone around her or even him. He thought of the way she had tucked her hair behind her ear unconsciously, the way the pearls and the diamond had glinted between her full, trembling breasts.

It was that realisation that made his impending release so necessary; it was the memory of betrayal and the pain that made him aware, even so far away, that he wanted to be near again. He wanted to meet her again.

He could almost feel her- his hand was not his but hers now, and he closed his eyes momentarily, imagining what it would be like for her to touch him, while she let him touch her breasts with his hands and mouth.

She made a small sigh, probably irritated with how she had stored something so high above that she was having trouble reaching now. That sigh resonated in him and shook the core in him.

He had never touched her in lust before- he had always tried to be careful with her. He had tried to avoid touching her at all. It struck him now that he'd never even held hands with her. It had been impossible in the past, because lowly body guards did not have relationships with the Orb Princess.

It would have been wrong if he had pushed things too fast with her- that was what he had believed in the past. She would be frightened and run. Here though, she didn't know he was watching. She would not run from him now. He shouldn't have continued watching. It was wrong with regards to his duty, wrong with regards to her rights, wrong with regards to what he knew was right.

All the same, he couldn't help watching her.

He felt warm, feverish, and he moaned silently, his hands rough against himself. As she stretched a little more, cursing a little, he shivered, watching the delicate skin stretch with the tension of her frame. His heart seemed to come into obvious existence, and it seemed to beat in tandem with hers, in his ears. He could see the way she breathed slowly, deeply, stretching, and he shuddered.

He would have given anything to be transported there and then, with her body taut and him facing her and buried between her breasts, his mouth greedily seeking, his hands wrapped around her rear as she stretched, trying to get at that something. Then she would suddenly realise that he had come back to her- for her. She would watch him touching her, and then she would bring her arms down, one to stroke his hair, one to tuck her own hair behind her ear. His gasps were becoming clearer in the room and he shivered. His hand was moving faster against himself.

Then she finally grabbed hold of what she needed at the same time when he came with a final shudder that his spine seemed to rattle with. A shampoo refill from a high shelf, it seemed.

She stood normally now, and she was silent. His panting was soft and laboured.

As she bent to pull off her skirt, her breasts hung heavy, made larger by gravity, luscious fruit he might have stroked and squeezed the globed surfaces of. He averted his eyes, suddenly ashamed and now fully aware of himself. His hands were wet with his seed because he'd tried to stop the warm spurts with his palms. His breaths were ragged, and he wondered how he could tolerate watching any more.

But it was just as well that she continued undressing. This time, the skirt she dropped covered the already discarded articles of clothing. He watched the screen become instantaneously dark.

Cagalli had stumbled on her clothes, it seemed. The camera picked up its final sound- the casing of the pen cracking as her weight moved above it. She had stepped on it accidentally while stepping on her clothes.

That moment of sheer accident when she'd prevented him from watching any further, but that pure coincidence of his decision to continue surveying her even after she'd driven home today, had tied together in that singular, strange knot of fate.

If the camera had not been instantly spoiled when she'd stepped down hard on it, he would have heard her curse.

He would have seen her pick up the pen, make a sound of irritation and frustration at her clumsiness at how she'd broken it. He might even have witnessed the conversation between her and Shinn the following evening, or perhaps how close they would eventually grow over the next year, until she'd finally asked Shinn to leave.

From where he was, the signal was lost. It was just as well.

He sat in his seat, shivering, unable to move for quite some time.

---

Gazing in the mirror, Cagalli brushed her hair a little. The note still lay on it, and she avoided glancing at it, for his handwriting and the message would have sent a thrill up her again.

So she looked into the vanity mirror to watch as Cartesia and Laplacia beamed at her. Curiously, she turned around to them. "Why are you grinning that way?"

They gave each other secret little smiles, and then turned back to her. In unison, they murmured, "You look nice."

She glanced down at the clothes they'd picked for her. "You two laid this out for me. I didn't chose for myself."

"We picked those out on Mr. Estragon's instructions." Cartesia reminded her, and Laplacia nodded eagerly, adding, "He wants you to use these earrings today."

The younger twin picked up a set, and Cagalli glanced at those, her brow furrowing a little as she studied them. "Funny. These look similar to a set I have at home. Well," She shrugged. "I suppose plain diamond studs are common designs."

"But the necklace?" Laplacia said inquisitively, peering like a woffly little rabbit over Cagalli's shoulder. Cagalli chuckled and lifted it for Laplacia to see, stroking the girl's cheek lovingly as Cartesia leaned closer to. Cagalli was glad to find that increasingly, the twin girls were becoming like younger sisters that she never had, and she lavished her attentions on them, as they did on her.

"Well, it looks similar to the one set I actually have," Cagalli observed. She ducked her head shyly at them as their eyes widened. "Everything else is just loaned on an event-basis," She explained hastily.

"This is a little more elaborate, and the diamonds look better-cut." She picked up the box with the little cat sitting on its lid, ruffling around and picking out another set. "Wouldn't these aquamarine ones match better?"

Laplacia's eyes lighted up and she nodded vigorously, but Cartesia shook her head.

"Mr. Estragon specified." Cartesia said simply, and Cagalli sighed a little, but smiled at them nevertheless.

She could not understand why Athrun was so fond of seeing her wear these trinkets he'd supplied her with. Granted, Cagalli thought with a soft blush, he'd said once that he'd find her opportunities to wear those, and perhaps he'd meant this. Whatever the case, she did like these trinkets secretly, especially with how he'd picked these out for her.

Moreover, Cagalli admittedly looked nice in whatever Athrun picked out.

Her blush deepened, as did her confusion. She did not quite understand what had driven Athrun to supply her wardrobe with all these pretty, well-made things. But he seemed to be intent on it, and there seemed to be a greater purpose to all of this. Perhaps she would ask him today.

Now, she moved out of the room, the maids trailing behind her, giggling and admiring like she was an elder sister on a date that they were spying on. And chuckling too, Cagalli reckoned that was quite accurate.

As she pattered down the hallway, the twins waved goodbye to her and disappeared down another. Quite confidently, she turned a few corridors, having become quite used to this stretch of the house.

The dining room Cagalli entered into was empty because Athrun hadn't arrived, although the food was already steaming on the table. Eagerly, she bent over and lifted the tureen, admiring Epstein and the twins' culinary finesse. Even a simple minestrone and pasta soup became the finest cuisine under them, and in pleasure, she closed her eyes, inhaling the spices they'd improvised with.

A pair of hands closed around her shoulders, and she smiled.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," She whispered, not turning around. His lips were lingering near her ear and she felt the soft linen of his shirt against her bare shoulders.

He grinned, moving to take the adjacent seat. She sat at the end of the table, next to him, and folded a hand under her chin, surveying him in imitation of what he had already begun doing.

While Athrun didn't say anything, his eyes roved over her admiringly. Teasingly, Cagalli lifted the hand under her chin to tuck her hair behind her ear, revealing an earring. Her voice laughed in the air. "I did as you ordered."

He looked at her, smiling softly and almost reminiscently. That surprised her, because there was familiarity in his eyes that she did not know how to place.

Still, dinner was waiting. As they began to tuck in, she began to chatter away, telling him about Ko and the twins. When she had returned to her room, Cagalli informed him, she'd taken a bath, and then gone to the gardens. There, she'd found Ko and Pepita in there, and they'd entertained her until she'd returned to her room in time to find his note.

He laughed with her about Pepita's antics, but sobered, concerned about Ko's scratched knee. Apparently, Pepita had tripped him and Ko had ended up on the ground.

"But it's fine now," Cagalli reassured him, "I bandaged it- nothing more than a scratch." She began to resume telling him about the little titbits of information she'd gotten by being with the aides and Ko.

As she laughed and talked, Athrun looked at her, realising that she'd become something of a mother or sister figure to them. It was clear in the way the twins had taken to her and opened up quite simply, despite all that Athrun had taught them.

But then again, Athrun thought ruefully, he had opened up to her too. The aides would have naturally followed.

He gazed at Cagalli. She would not know what he and Yzak had spoken of, but that conversation still weighed down upon him. Obviously, Yzak had been very unhappy to hear Athrun admit to bringing Cagalli out of the mansion again.

"You take risks like that," Yzak had said curtly, "And the Numbers won't like it. You know all these actions are unauthorised, no matter how you want to reason that it's all in the name of duty."

Athrun understood Yzak's concern, but hadn't expected him to be this upset. Yet, Yzak had revealed the reasons soon after that.

"Nothing I haven't already heard." Athrun had countered. "I am being careful. I won't fall for her again."

He had heard Yzak hesitate. What had come next was unexpected, especially since it was from Yzak.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you this. But I will if you can promise me that you'll remain objective in your duty."

"I will." Athrun said, not understanding how careless he had been in giving that promise and assuming he would be able to do whatever Yzak proceeded to ask of him. At that point, Athrun had been far too curious to learn what Yzak was so hesitant in telling him.

But as Yzak had told him everything, Athrun had found himself wondering if he could keep his promise now.

"I'm telling this to you because I want you to be aware of how vulnerable she really is." Yzak said brusquely. He drew in a deep breath. "And I know you are vulnerable when she is too, because you were once deeply in love with her. That's why I don't want her to be around you, and that's why I want to shift her to another Isle. Both of you are adults, but even adults can be fools in certain situations."

Athrun had been stunned to hear Yzak say all this. In Athrun's mind, Yzak's complete telling him of Cagalli's past now was only to justify why Yzak was planning to make Tom Cagalli's protector now.

Now, Athrun looked at Cagalli. He wasn't sure how Yzak had gotten this information, but he could sense why Yzak was choosing to tell him of it only now. When Athrun had requested for information to be dug out previously, that had been because Cagalli had been traumatised and Athrun had realised that there was a necessity to rake out her past. Perhaps Yzak had omitted that part of her suffering because he hadn't wanted Athrun to grow too close to Cagalli.

Athrun shook his head inwardly. As if that had prevented anything from happening.

But still, Athrun had convinced Yzak that he knew how to handle himself and Cagalli. Eventually, Yzak had only agreed marginally that Cagalli would stay on the Fifth Isle and not be moved to the Seventh.

"Athrun," He was aware that Cagalli was looking pleadingly at him, "Do you think I could see Ko more often?"

He paused, and she immediately tried to reassure him of her intentions.

"Not that I'm going to ask him questions or anything- I just thought that I'd liked to get alo-,"

He nodded quickly, smiling at her. She grinned back at him, almost bubbling over with the excitement and prospect of being with Ko.

While she looked happy now and her eyes were bright, Athrun knew she had never really recovered. She'd made herself heal for the necessity of moving on in life, but the wounds had always festered beneath the surface of calm, and he'd become aware of this when she'd seen him kill someone.

Now, Cagalli became aware that he was not talking but only listening and looking intently to her. "Athrun? Are you alright?"

"Yes." He said cautiously. "I'd like to talk to you about some things though."

She could sense his seriousness and faltered. "What do you want to know about? You know almost everything-"

"No I don't," Athrun interjected, cutting through her attempted cover. "Not about Kira and what happened after your twenty-second birthday," He said abruptly.

Her face turned pale from where she sat, and he could tell that Cagalli was tensing up.

"Athrun," She whispered in cold dread now, feeling her heart beat erratically. "Don't ask this of me. I can't say."

"You can. You must." He told her firmly, sitting straighter in his chair. "That's the only way you can recover. And I know I'm part of that."

Her eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise and fear.

"Don't hide your past from me anymore. I need you to open for me." Athurn said intently. "That's why we're able to be here, having a meal together, holding a decent conversation together. Because we agreed to try and understand each other."

She hesitated, then bit her lips, looking at him pleadingly. "I want to do that Athrun, I really do. But I can't remember much because it was some time ago and I really wanted to forget.

"Then tell me what you remember." Athrun requested.

Cagalli's voice was hesitant. "I had a quarrel with Kira shortly after I regained my speaking abilities. I think you know I suffered from mutism for a while."

He nodded.

"I think it was the shock of having killed someone- those were some anti-Coordinator extremists who attacked that night and would have killed Aaron." She drew in a deep breath, willing herself to go on.

"Kira came to visit me in hopes of helping me, but I was in a bad state. I couldn't recognise him, or at least, I couldn't respond to anyone even if I did. "

He felt her tremble a little even when no part of him was in contact with her. But he had understood the core of her fears from what Yzak had revealed to him, and now he was able to truly empathise with Cagalli.

"I can only remember that I was so scared when I pulled the trigger. I didn't want to kill that man, but I had to, or he'd have killed me."

"I could only think of you in that moment when I pulled the trigger- it was the last memory I had before I blacked out. I guess I was sure I was going to die anyway, and I thought that at least I'd done one thing right when it concerned you. But Kira was very angry when he found out why you'd left-,"

She glanced at him, sounding terse. "I thought I was right, I really did. I was prepared to give everything up if only I could ensure your safety, but in the end, I was wrong wasn't I? I never even heard you out when I asked you to leave-," She choked back her tears, trembling violently.

"But now you know the truth. You heard me out eventually, even if I'd already left Orb by then." Athrun comforted her. He reached to her hand, taking it from her lap, realising it had been clenched into a fist.

He stared at her pale face. "I don't blame you for that anymore, Cagalli. Kira was wrong to have said that to you too, Cagalli. He didn't mean it. I'm sure he wants to be forgiven for hurting you. He said all that in anger because he felt disappointed. He knows how much you had to sacrifice, and he had no right to say that either."

Cagalli shook her head, not looking at him. Her voice was trembling. "I must see him again, even if I have to die after that. I need to tell him that I never blamed him."

Athrun leaned forward towards her now and stroked her cheek gently. "I think he knows that deep inside him, Cagalli. And he probably never really blamed you either. Nor have I."

"You were misguided, but that was only because you were so vulnerable and you wanted me to be safe all this time. But I could only understand the truth when I brought you here and forced you to tell me of your thoughts back then." He looked at her tenderly. "And that's why I'm glad I met you again."

Her eyelashes fluttered low as she stared at her hand in her lap. She was twisting part of her dress in it nervously. Shakily, Cagalli looked at him. "You must have been very confused when you were forced out of Orb."

"I was." He admitted. "I ran through all the possibly reasons why you didn't seem to have any feelings anymore for me. At one point, I thought it was probably because a relationship with my father's shadow over my name seemed too difficult for you. I'd thought of that when I first found out that you'd agreed to marry Yuuna Roma Seiran while I was in Plant."

Her lips parted in surprise. Athrun was looking straight at her, and his voice was troubled.

"I've never told you this before," He said stiffly. "But I was unhappy that he could show affection towards you in public, whereas I could only watch and protect you in private as Alex Dino. Even then, if people had known that I was Athrun Zala and I was being in close proximity with the Orb Princess, they'd never have allowed me around you. So I couldn't even express jealousy, because I was afraid you'd be troubled by it, and because your minders would have us put apart."

"Still, I wanted you to choose your path in life for yourself, not for me or for him. And when you finally chose to go with him and what your father's last wishes had been, I realised that our relationship was very difficult from the start."

Cagalli nodded unhappily. "Yes- there was all of that. I was advised by both the Seirans and the Council of Elders that he would be the most suitable. Yuuna was aware of our relationship, actually. But he reminded me that he was the real fiancé, not you, and that giving myself to Patrick Zala's son was only asking for trouble with Orb."

"But Athrun," She said, looking at him pleadingly, "Back then, I was really thinking of how disappointed my father would be if I abdicated and chose to follow you to the Plants. I didn't even know that you were fighting for our sake, and that Dullindal had given you an incentive to return."

Cagalli bowed her head, whispering. "I thought that if I could try and forget you, you wouldn't have to return as Alex Dino and face criticism and prejudice in Orb. You know that would be very likely. But I swear that I never rejected you and went against my promise directly merely because you were the son of Patrick Zala."

"I accept that." He said quietly, stroking her hand.

"I want to understand you more too, Athrun." Cagalli whispered. "Tell me why you believe your father never loved you."

Athrun stared at her. In his mind, he knew that the warning bells were ringing. This was precisely what Yzak had been afraid of- this was precisely what Yzak had been trying to avoid by having them separated. To be fair to Yzak, Athrun had to try to be objective in fulifling his duties, but surely this was only fair to Cagalli?

"I'll tell you." Athurn decided there and then. "Not because this is a contract, but it's only fair since you let me into your mind."

She reached forward with both hands, holding his in hers as he looked at her wondering how to express himself to what she'd assumed- that he hated his father.

"My father is my ghost." He said unsurely. "I don't know how to explain it except that way. But every time I think of him, I'm not sure if I love or hate him, only that it hurts me to think of him. He wanted so much of me, Cagalli. I tried, I really did, but I could never see eye to eye with him. The only thing we agreed on back then, was that we wanted revenge for the same person."

She nodded. "But when you were a child, didn't he care for you?"

Athrun gave her a small, bitter smile. "In some ways, I suppose. But it was never because I was more than a responsibility he'd planned for from the start. I don't think he ever loved me for being more than something he fathered. The day I realised that was when he told me not to visit him any more in his office."

Cagalli's eyes widened. "How could h-,"

"At first I thought he was disappointed with me." Athrun admitted. "I thought I wasn't rising up the ranks fast enough. That seemed to fit when I wanted him to share my joy at being made a redcoat but he brushed me off."

Ruefully, he looked at her, smiling a little self-consciously. "Are you sure you want to hear all this? It only makes me look like I have a father complex, which is probably true anyway. It's not the most sexually attractive thing to hear of right now. Frankly, I'd rather be whispering into your ear, telling you of how exceptional you look tonight instead of raking up painful memories."

She smiled, shaking her head a little. Despite how tense the situation was, he was taking a dig at himself and trying to show consideration for her. How like Athrun to think of others first, Cagalli thought wistfully. How like him to want to hide himself away because he was afraid of seeming weak and didn't want to bother anyone.

"No, I want you to tell me about this." Cagalli insisted. "I never really met your father except through the media. He seemed like a very powerful, stern but charismatic figure."

"He was like that," Athrun agreed. "But you were there with me when he died, and you saw him use his last breath to tell me to press the trigger. That's what he wanted for me, Cagalli. To become him. To-," His voice died away, and he looked away. "To be him."

She bit her lips in consternation. But somehow it made sense why Athrun could not free himself from the memories of his father. As a boy, she could imagine Athrun being in awe of his father and striving to do everything perfectly and behaving as best as he could because he wanted to please his father.

As a young adult, Athrun must have realised the divergence between his own beliefs and his father's, and that had slowly made him his own person and not his father's. She'd caused that in him, she'd asked him to question his beliefs, along with the rest of the horrific experiences that war was giving him. By the end of the first war, he'd realised that he couldn't be his father, even when his father had begged him to try.

"I'd never seen him in any kind of pitiful state before," Athrun confessed. "When I was growing up, he was always dressed formally- always the businessman, the politician, the competent husband. He always looked like he could handle anything or control anyone-," He trailed off, closing his eyes briefly.

Cagalli watched him, a growing sadness in her. Athrun probably didn't realise it, but he was rather like his father in that sense, even if unconsciously. Whispering, she asked, "As a father?"

Athrun looked pained. "I'm not sure about what fatherhood meant to him. I've never seen him out of his business suit or his council uniform, that's for sure. No photographs of him either, when he was wearing anything you might see on fathers relaxing at home."

"Surely he was also upset about that?" Cagalli objected.

"He didn't seem to regret not spending more time with us." Athrun said firmly. "He missed my mother from time to time and he'd request for her to visit him. But never for me to follow. He never wanted to see me. Even the books he gave me were those he'd grown up reading- the way a mother would possibly present her daughter with fairytale books and colourful illustrations. Those books made me think his way of caring was normal and even right."

She understood. She'd snuck into Alex Dino's small room within the Atha Estate one day, found a box of books he'd had with him, and chosen one which Patrick Zala had apparently given him. That book had featured a family, brilliant thinkers and individually very talented, but with social norms and familial ties collapsing despite or even because of their intellect and ambition.

Athrun had found her in his room, reading and silent tears falling from her eyes. He'd come to her, smiling softly, in that guarded way she'd become used to, and asked her why she was crying. She hadn't been able to answer, but now, she could.

"When I read the books you'd received as a child," Cagalli said in a low voice, "I was saddened without knowing why. But I think I do now. It's because your father didn't know how to love you."

He nodded, closing his eyes. "In the past, I doubted that he knew how to love at all. But that's why it hurts to think of him now, because I know he did try to love me the way he loved my mother." He took her away to hold her face in his hands. Her eyes were slightly damp, but she was controlled and very calm.

Athrun's mouth was a slight frown. "I received his diaries after I left Orb unwillingly and returned to Plant. They were in a family safe I finally opened because I was clearing out my things to come here."

She remained silent, knowing that it was taking him a great deal of courage to say what he then did.

"He went mad after my mother died. It became very obvious from the way he'd plan for lunches and meetings with my mother even when she'd died a year before that. At first I thought it was a way of dealing with her death, but then it became very clear that he was really insane."

Cagalli stared. "And nobody knew of this?"

He laughed, an empty, tired chuckle. "No. Insane people are often the most paranoid and careful people around. They plan and they hide their illness in ways that you wouldn't even expect. Besides, my father had lots of support for his ideals. After Junius Seven, everyone thought that the Coordinators had to fight back and even attack Naturals. It was quite natural that nobody suspected it was really personal vendetta at the root of all of the bloodshed and sacrifice."

"And that is why I feel that I've failed him even up until today." Athrun admitted readily. "I feel guilt when I think of how he looked at me with al those wounds and begged me to start Genesis for him. In that moment, if you hadn't been next to me to remind me of who I really was, I-,"

He broke off, rubbing his face with his hands, showing the cracks in his unreadable mask. "I don't know. I'm haunted by that indecision, that moment when I could have made him happy for once, even if I lived on and was tormented by it."

Cagalli looked at the suffering in his face and realised what he'd meant when he'd told her that his father was his ghost.

She understood, because her father was her ghost too. All these years, she had found herself wondering if she'd been less unhappy if she'd fought to return to her father's side when he'd stayed behind in that blaze of fire. She'd have died without the burden she'd assumed by living on for her father.

"I'm sorry," Cagalli broke in miserably. "I made you turn against your father, didn't I? I made you take that decision that you couldn't carry on his plans for him."

"No, it's not anybody's fault or even anything to do with fault here," He reassured her. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that you gave me a chance to choose my own identity. Just like Lacus and Kira. And that's why I should thank you."

She bit her lips, wanting to tell him that he too, had given her a chance to decide for herself by bringing her away to a place where her will mattered more than that of those around her of those long dead and gone.

What she managed however, must have conveyed her emotions to him. "You gave me that choice too, by bringing me here to the Isle."

And yet, Cagalli wondered how she could really choose when time was slipping by. While she was slowly but surely losing the will to return to Orb immediately, she would have to return ultimately.

Now, Athrun gave her no time to mull over these things, for he stood up abruptly. His gaze even more focused than before. "I'm done here."

He moved over to her and Cagalli gaped at him. His voice was husky, if not slightly roguish, but pleading, tender and all too demanding at once. "Bed time."

She gaped at him, stammering a little because his expressed desire was so sudden and unexpected. "What-,"

"You can't refuse me." He commanded, pulling her out of her chair. He smiled his first real smile and she stared, seeing how hesitant, sad and strangely attractive he was. With her hand in his, he began leading them both along the corridor to his room, ignoring her questions and her unawareness of the turmoil within him.

If Yzak had been here to witness this, Athrun couldn't help thinking still, he'd have been dismayed to realise that Athrun was doing exactly as he'd promised and sworn not to.

And that was to throw everything away for a woman who would not and could not return the same he'd sacrificed for her.

---

The curtains of the four poster hung, still and translucent, and the shapes within them merged in embrace then separated. He was panting slightly, depositing kisses on the slope of her neck, thinking of how she must have suffered. She was mewling in pleasure, her eyes sparkling.

"This is what it's supposed to be like," Athrun was murmuring between kisses. "Not us fighting, but this. The way we are now. This-," She felt him bury his face near her neck, his lips scorching her flesh, and she leaned back, pulling him above her. Her face crumbled and she hugged him, whispering that she wanted to trust him. He knew she already did. He had planned it that way. He wanted her to. He wanted her.

Cagalli watched him smile softly. Then she huddled herself against him, enveloping him in her embrace, feeling him push her deeper into the bed. Now, Athrun looked at her silently and began to stroke her cheek. She held his face in her hands too, kissing him on the cheek. He returned it, chaste and soft on her lips. But she deepened it, and what had started off as mutual comfort began to change.

She watched in a semi-daze as he pulled them apart, sitting upright although still above her. But she sat up too, helping him undo his shirt, wrenching it off and tossing it to the floor.

He would not fold it into that white envelope of cloth, Cagalli decided, not tonight. She didn't want him to think anymore, or to rationalise or to be cautious. She knew he would not take her, for it was clear in the way he shook his head once and kissed her gently on her forehead, but at very least, Cagalli wanted him to be uninhibited with her for once.

She was right, although she did not really understand what he was afraid of. But for Athrun, he knew that taking her would surely betray Yzak's trust in him, and Athrun did not want that. Yzak had gone against his better judgement to let Athrun hold onto Cagalli and to tell Athrun of something so intensely private to Cagalli; something that had made them grow much closer.

Now, Athrun decided that he couldn't do more than that for Yzak's sake.

Still, he wanted to hold her now, to feel her against him. In sheer desire, he reached to her breasts, fondling them roughly, feeling the shining, attractive pendant nestle between those.

"When I saw you wearing these," He told her quietly, "I wanted you to wear everything I could give you."

She didn't understand it as he really did. She stared at him, confused. "Haven't you seen me wear other jewels you've picked?"

"Hush," He interrupted her, touching a earlobe gently. Only he knew of that memory; that pain and hollowness of watching her while he was alone. He reached to her chin, holding it and kissing her delicately.

Not understanding, Cagalli willingly kissed him back. He was still glad however, that she had not learnt of what he had done to keep her safe all those years she knew all he'd planned against her, she'd never let him near her even with a ten-foot pole, let alone let him touch her and enter her mind.

All Athrun wanted now was just to touch her for what she'd allowed him and for him to remember those years before when he'd been so far away. Back then, he'd been forced to watch her and know that he had lost her. But now, she was here, and she'd let him know her all over again even if he couldn't take everything.

"Tuck your hair behind your ear," Athrun instructed her, his voice rough and soft.

She sat up a little straighter, doing so hesitantly, not really understanding. His eyes darted to the earring she wore, and she saw him release a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Athrun watched her quietly, then leaned towards her, kissing her deeply.

As he did, he brushed his hands against her breasts and she felt a strange sense of incongruity. Cagalli whispered, "Did you choose this for a reason?"

But he only smiled, a small secretive smile.

"Put your elbows on my shoulders," He whispered to her. The firmness in his voice left no room for question. "And hold my head close to you."

She did as he asked, effectively bringing him closer to her. "Like this?"

"Like this." He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent, smiling a little as he ran his hands on her breasts more roughly now. She trembled, and he turned his mouth a little, nibbling at her lightly. She gasped in pleasure, tweaking his ears then bringing her mouth to his forehead, pressing her lips there. "Athrun, tell me why you gave me all those-,"

"Because you deserve to have beautiful things." He murmured, pulling her even closer to him by pressing her forward with his hands planted on his back. "In the past, I thought you didn't like dresses or jewels or anything remotely feminine, but I never understood all your insecurities. You were afraid, weren't you? You thought you'd be written off as a frivolous woman who didn't know what real suffering was to even begin serving Orb."

She trembled, feeling him rake his lips against her chest, shuddering with sensation and wanting to pull away because it was too pleasurable to bear like this.

But she was trapped in his arms and he was whispering, "You didn't understand that you deserve all that you denied and even more. That's why I'm giving you these- that's why I want you to have everything."

His lips closed around her and he began to apply more pressure with his tongue and suction with his mouth. She keened, arching herself to him, her actions involuntary and instinctive.

He thought of how she'd looked on that screen, far away, cold and flat, glassy surface as he'd rubbed his cheek against what he'd imagined to be her. She had stretched, her ankles raised above ground, and he'd wished then that he was with her, that he could touch her and know that her warm, breathing self was his and only his.

His breath catching in his throat, he let go of her and moved them both swiftly to lie on their sides, and then caught her waist with one hand, his other hand fondling her soft breasts. This was why he had agreed to the offer she'd made when she'd traded half her body for information. He'd remembered what he'd seen, and he knew that a chance to hold her was better than none.

That awful gnawing loneliness as he'd watched her alone, a thousand miles away from her, had resonated too deeply in him. But all that was changing, all because he'd realised he was willing to throw everything away for her.

So she was his, Athrun's mind argued. She was his, his, his. It had been his face that she remembered even when the trauma had made her abort all her memories; it had been his name that she'd called out to.

Her voice was a murmur as she shifted down, her hands stroking him softly. "Let me send another letter back to Kira."

"No-," His voice trembled with emotion- pain and shock, but with clear lust. "We agreed not to make any more contracts-,"
"This isn't one," She insisted, her face near her stomach, enjoying the feeling of his rigid lines tensing even more because of the contact. "I just want to tell him that he has to be strong for me, and that he must not blame himself. That's all."

Athrun studied her. She was telling him that it wasn't a trading of favours anymore; that they'd already gone past that. But he was afraid, afraid that if he refused, she'd lock herself away and deny him access to her mind and body.

He didn't want that, Athrun told himself fiercely. He could go without touching her if he was forced to, but he didn't want her to reject him and hide her feelings and thoughts from him.

Scarcely considering all the dangers of a new letter being sent, he said, almost to himself, "You're not writing anything else…"

"I'm not writing anything else. I won't betray you." She promised, reassuring him as she ran her fingers like water against his abdomen and then thighs. Without knowing anything anymore except the way she felt against him, he leaned back into the pillows, nodding tersely, shuddering.

He heard her whisper her gratefulness, and Athrun found that it made him feel sorrow but joy simultaneously. At least she would forgive herself and Kira this way.

Cagalli watched as Athrun trembled like a man with the ague. He was feverish to touch. If there was anything she wanted right now, it was to have him know that she wasn't interested in a contract- she was only interested in understanding him and pleasing him.

She felt him pant a little, and she thought of how sad he'd looked when he'd spoken of his father and Lyra. He'd been hurt too many times, Cagalli thought painfully. She couldn't hurt him; she didn't want to let him know how insecure she felt about Lyra. She knew he'd be devastated if she really told him that she was upset, and all Cagalli wanted was for him to allow her near and for her to try and make him forget the past.

She felt him shift nervously on the bed, and she got up from the bed, parting the curtains as she moved away. Dazed, he stared and did not understand, but his mind didn't want to function for him anymore.

It was like she had locked his mind but awoken his body to all he had made it forget over the years- how it was like to be touched and to feel his blood race and pool in him. The absence of her near him made him feel cold suddenly, and his body panicked even when his mind remained slow and sluggish.

He closed his eyes now, begging for time to stop now, her words a mantra in his mind. The tears were building, but he would not let those fall. "You won't betray me. You won't betray me. You won't betr-"

But then she returned, and he didn't know whether to feel relieved or not. He was still chanting her words in his mind as he opened his eyes, wondering whether to refuse to go through with this even though his body was aching for a release and he knew she would have wanted to touch him even if he had not agreed to her request.

"You won't betray me." Athrun whispered hoarsely, his eyes beginning to sting. Her form pushed past the hanging curtains and Cagalli moved back into the bed. "Don't betray me."

He was not sure if she had heard him, but he saw her smile teasingly, daringly even. Her eyes amber and watching him tenderly. And he watched, not quite sure of himself or her anymore, as she laid down, laying a kiss on him and simultaneously slipping him gently between her plush lips as they made contact with his flesh.

Her mouth was filled with warm, almost burning but not too hot water, and he closed his eyes, uttering a silent cry of mad gratification, muttering for something, anything to save him if that was even vaguely possible now.

---

Thirty-five hours later, Kira held up a letter to the light, observing it. In the small service-apartment he'd rented for a few days while here in Plant, he felt somewhat constricted and even claustrophobic. Lacus had sounded much weaker than he'd ever heard her, but she'd been cheerful, waiting expectantly for his visit. His heart ached, and he wondered if it would be too much to bring her back to their house for a while.

But he'd had to deal with it, since going home to his house was just too much time spent. Besides, he had something to work on. The exact seal had been used again, and Cagalli's handwriting looked steady this time. Again, no fingerprints were on the letter save hers, but then Kira had already been sure with the first letter that she had wrote these.

Now however, he was sure of another thing.

Folding it and locking it carefully into his briefcase, Kira turned to Aaron, who was staring at him. When he'd received the letter, Kira had called back to Orb for Aaron Biliensky to join him here. Where this place was secure and their privacy was assured, he'd showed Aaron the second letter.

"I don't understand-," Aaron stammered. "When the letter came in, it was with all the other mail, just like the last one. But there's no way of tracking, no way of understanding who sent it in, and there are no witnesses to have seen anyone putting in a letter into a normal post-box which was somehow addressed to Kira Yamato!"

Kira smiled, not expecting Aaron to understand because Kira had planned all of this on his own. "But we can trust that it's her."

"Yes," Aaron agreed, "Because this one is addressed specifically to you with contents even I have no idea about. I trust they correspond to whatever you were seeking forgiveness from?"

"It corresponds." Kira answered simply. "Amongst many other things."

He turned to the phone, dialling a number. When he spoke, his voice was calm, but there was steel in his posture and his eyes that Aaron had never been so aware of. Aaron stared at the number Kira's finger was resting on, and with some astonishment, Aaron realised Kira had dialled the number for his own department back in Zaft.

He looked back at Kira, who was patiently waiting as the lines presumably connected. When he spoke, Kira's voice was quiet and assuming, but very firm. "I am Kira Yamato, Proxy of Orb and previous Zaft General of this department."

There was a pause and Aaron could hear the answerer sputter. "Sir, you cannot just-,"

Kira paused, then said in nothing less than a command, "Get Meyrin Hawke of the Zaft department of Information and Technology, sub-deparment G-4A on the line."

---

She felt the steam of the hot water rise over her, reminding her of the way his soft breaths had been akin to a scarf, clothing and warming her. She coloured a little, remembering the way he'd looked at her reluctantly and told her he had to leave.

Just hours ago, Athrun had came to her room to take the letter that she'd completed. He'd moved to her side as she'd sat at a table, and Cagalli had passed it to him hesitantly. He hadn't even glanced at it but smiled softly at her, putting it straight into an envelope that was already addressed to Kira Yamato.

She'd been very quiet, realising how much he was willing to risk for her; realising that he trusted her. Cagalli had also been wondering what Kira would say and how he'd respond, and without knowing why, she'd began to cry quietly.

"Sorry," She'd said weakly, trying to smile through her tears. "I don't know what's coming over m-,"

But Athrun must have had sensed how lost and lonely she felt, for he had left it aside. Then he'd pulled her out of her seat, and brought her to her bed, sitting her down on it and holding her wordlessly until she'd regained control of her emotions. She'd been reminded of how they had all used to be; how she had once thought of Kira as something she'd regained after she lost it; how she had once relied on Athrun when the world did not seem to understand or accept her anymore.

Neither of them had said anything even when he'd gently dried the last of her tears and laid her on the bed, kissing her on her lips once, then undoing her shift-dress delicately, as if she would panic and try to run.

But as she had watched him, as he'd touched her softly and then in an increasingly demanding manner, Cagalli knew she was already bound to him. It wasn't a matter of reminiscence, circumstance or even happenstance. It was inevitability. If he had chosen to take her there and then, it would have only been a physical extension of the relationship they'd unwittingly and ultimately been caught in.

Cagalli stepped out of the shower, slicking her hair back with her fingers. It was still long and she was strangely getting used to it. She thought of the way Athrun had ran his fingers in it before he'd left, saying in that hushed voice that could send thrills down her body so easily, "You have existing debts, don't you?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to make any contract?"

"Yes, but I want my payment for the existing ones." His lips had curved into a bow, and her lips quivered as he placed a kiss on her mouth.

"What do you want?"

She had paid him for telling her about Lyra, but Cagalli hadn't exchanged anything for the first letter he'd sent or his telling her about Harumi and Ko.

"For the first letter I sent, I want you to cut your hair. For my telling you about Kitani Harumi and her son, I'll collect it some other time."

She'd found herself responding to him with an eagerness that made her both embarrassed but with so much pleasure and trust in him that she could not prevent herself from calling out to him while he was with her.

Even now, she could still what she'd experience when he'd come to her a few hours ago. Cagalli could remember his tongue ravishing and paying her attention as she'd cried for him. But Athrun had been unable to stay for long as he'd explained eventually, since he had to leave the Isle for a while.

She had been dismayed, although she had hidden it well enough and smiled, nodding silently when he told her he would return soon. Time here without him, seemed to be forced through cracks that too narrow even for the smallest sand grains. But when he was here with her, time slipped by quickly.

Even last night, they had certainly spent time in a way that made her wonder if her time with him was actually flowing faster than it really was. As they'd lain in bed, their bodies in the compact tessellation of two in embrace, he'd shared more of his childhood with her.

They'd spoken and laughed over what Kira had used to be like and probably was still like in some ways, with clumsiness inherent in him and a kind of shyness he could never curb. Athrun had been introduced to Kira on Coppernicus all those years ago, and now, Cagalli felt that from what Athrun told her, that she'd grown up with them and shared her childhood with them too.

He would tell her more, Cagalli thought shyly, beginning to dry herself. He'd promised her he'd return soon.

As she dried herself and then stepped out into her room, fetching some clothes, Cagalli stared at the mirror. Blushing slightly, she turned away and began to dress. Athrun was surely a possessive lover if she could even think of him as that, despite her thinking that he would be a gentle, if not very cautious one. In some sense, he was both. For Athrun was always considerate, trying to be careful with her even when it was clear she wanted him to be completely uninhibited with her.

It wasn't fair, she thought a bit sulkily, that he could see her come undone so completely and yet, stop her from seeing him in the same situation. Even when he was worked up beyond a certain level of self-control, he'd bite her in his frenzy of need but not allow her to satisfy him completely.

It didn't hurt, she thought distractedly, looking at her shoulder where a very faint imprint was. He was always trying to rein himself in, always trying to be very careful even when she tried to make him lose his control over both of them. It felt distinctively pleasurable, like he was dominating her, like she would not be free of him- like he would not let go of her even when he was satisfied.

A knock shook her out of her daze, and Cagalli looked up from where she was sitting, calling out, "Come in!"

Epstein moved through the doorway, and she grinned up at him. He smiled too, but as she came in, she noticed he'd brought in someone.

"Miss Cagalli!"

She squealed as Ko rushed straight at her, nearly jumping into her arms as she hugged him instinctively. He was a child with boundless energy, Cagalli thought briefly, and as if to confirm her thoughts, Ko bounced on the spot and said excitedly, "Epstein said you'd play with me!"

Pepita was rushing around, barking madly and Epstein picked the puppy up, letting it lick his face once. He grinned at Cagalli

Cagalli suddenly realised that someone was stepping into her room. Immediately, she focused on the doorway as Ko turned too, and Epstein looked mildly at all of them and said, "Well, I guess I better do the introductions. Harumi, this is Cagalli Yula Atha. Cagalli,-"

Cagalli stared at the woman who was looking imperiously at her. "You're Kitani Harumi, aren't you?"

Ko looked at her in surprise. "You know my mother?"

"Ko." Harumi said with a touch of sternness entering her immaculate, beautifully fair face. "We are friends."

Harumi's voice was lightly accented, Cagalli noticed, and it made her ethnicity quite clear. In fact, it took all of Cagalli's willpower to keep her jaws together. But then Harumi looked at her, a small, sly smile playing on her reddened lips, and Cagalli realised that Harumi could not be contradicted right here.

"You will play in the garden first," Harumi said simply, but in a voice so authoritative that Cagalli could not imagine Ko disobeying. "I want to speak to Cagalli alone."

Ko looked with frightened eyes at the adults, then nodded meekly. Epstein bent to let Pepita free, and together, the child and the puppy rush from the room, Ko closing it.

Harumi turned back to Cagalli, her eyes dark and glimmering obsidian in that white face. Epstein watched the two women quietly.

Nervously, Cagalli stood. "You have a beautiful son. I-,"

"I know," Harumi said with a cold, proud countenance but with tender, pained eyes. "And for that reason, and because I know he gets along well with you, I requested Epstein to let me meet you."

Then Harumi smiled abruptly, and Cagalli stared, astonished at how different Harumi seemed now. Her voice was lighter now, and she said sweetly, "Thank you. I'm glad to hear that, because I'd like to ask a favour of you."

Cagalli remembered what Athrun had told her about this woman. Like Ezalia Joule, this woman was not to be slighted. She drew in a breath, nodding hesitantly. "I'll try if I'm capable of helping."

"I would like you to look after my son in replacement of me."

"What?"

Harumi smiled a little. "This is the Isle and I know an exchange is necessary. Of course, any place in the world is like that. So tell me. What do you want in return for that?"

"Wait," Cagalli said quickly, "I don't want anything at all. But why are you asking me to look after Ko? You are-,"

"I am his mother," Harumi admitted readily. "But I cannot look after him and be with him at all times. That's the reason why I brought him to the Isle. Rune Estragon looks after him and teaches him in return for my help in managing his estate. But even that will not suffice. Ko is young, and he needs a mother's love. He has a father who mollycoddles him," She looked reproachfully at Epstein, who grinned a little. "And he needs a mother."

"I can't give him that," Cagalli told her nervously. "I'm not his mother. I can't be his mother the way you are naturally his."

"What you can give is good enough." Harumi tilted her head slightly but in a manner that suggested great elegance. "I want you to look after Ko for me while you are here. As a mother would."

In that moment, as their eyes met, Cagalli knew she could not refuse this woman. How could she, when she could sense the woman's pain, even when she could not truly empathise?

"I'll look after him." Cagalli whispered, vowing inside her that she would. While she was not entirely clear of their characters, she knew of their background, and Ko's innocence had drawn her to the child. "I'll protect him with my life if I have to."

Harumi smiled. "Thank you. Ko's a child. He needs a woman's touch when surrounded by all this grime and training. When I'm not here, there's only the maids and Epstein, or Rune Estragon at best. The maids are so near his age- the most they will be are his sisters."

Cagalli looked at her newly-made friend with a teasing, soft grin. Her boldness must have surprised Harumi, who stared at her. "But you told Epstein not to mollycoddle him."

"Perhaps," Harumi said with a laugh, "I'm jealous. I don't want anyone to take my place with Ko. But you won't- he thinks we are similar. He told me so when I came here today. And that's all the better, because he won't forget me."

Cagalli stepped forward and almost defiantly, hugged the cold, beautiful woman, bringing her warmth in the embrace.

It was not in Cagalli's nature to be afraid of stranger, although she was cautious enough. But for Harumi, Cagalli had seen that flash of pain and sorrow in her, and Cagalli wanted to comfort her for a reason more instinctive than obvious to herself.

Harumi did not respond, although there was a clear acceptance of the embrace.

"Thank you," Harumi said again emphatically. "Send Ko my love."

"I will," Cagalli nodded. Harumi bent forward abruptly and kissed Cagalli on the cheek, and flushing, Cagalli watched as Rune Estragon's business partner moved out of the room.

She turned back to Epstein, who had been watching quietly all this while. Her voice was determined, he could hear.

"Let's go. Ko's waiting."

---

Later in the day, after Ko had been sent off for his training, Epstein sat her in front of the vanity mirror. She was still breathless, her face flushed from the Frisbee that the three of them had been engaged with. As they had ran and played in the garden, the birdsong had seemed to swell around them, and Ko's laughter, Pepita's barking and their voices had drawn out the marmalade tomcat that Cagalli had met a long time ago.

The cat had wandered to them, and she'd picked it up, rubbing it's round, large head with some bliss as it complained in a greasy, whiny sort of voice. Apparently, as Ko had told her, Athrun had presented it to Epstein a long time ago, and Pepita had been the counterpart to Ko.

The memory of what Athrun had said about his father disallowing a pet had stirred emotions in her. The cat in her arms and Pepita running around Ko's ankles had made her think of Athrun. As a child, he'd been denied something, and despite his efforts to distance himself, he'd somehow drawn near to them.

"So what do you think of Ko?" Epstein chirped.

"He's a wonderful child," She said happily, still excited as she sat down. She was chattering away, her hands animated in the air, and only Epstein's running his hand through her hair made her pause.

"Hey-what?"

"Now let's see," Epstein was muttering, "How should I get started on this? Right- rags!"

He disappeared to the bathroom, and alarmed, Cagalli got up. But he was back in a jiffy, and with a sparkling grin, he tossed the towels over the floor, pulling her back into a seat and putting yet another towel over her shoulders.

"Epstein," Cagalli protested, "What's happening?"

"This is what's happening," Epstein drawled, pulling out a photograph from his shirt pocket. "You getting your hair trimmed. It's a bit long now, no?"

"You know how to cut hair!" She was impressed. "You double as a chauffeur, a cook! And now this!"

"Oh!" She looked at him in the mirror as he leaned over her shoulder, measuring a strand of her hair to her chin and then taking a pair of scissors. He dropped a photograph on the vanity table and she stared down at what he was using for reference. "Where'd you get-,"

"From him."

She fell silent, not knowing what to say, but she tried to relax as Epstein carefully snipped off a long lock, restoring it to her original length.

Epstein's voice was a bit guarded. "He wouldn't say why he had this."

She shrugged, her heart beating and her pulse thundering. "Google?"

"Yeah." Epstein said calmly. "I'm sure there are plenty of photographs of you sleeping in a chair in front of the fire with a Zaft jacket to keep you warm. It's as common as the official ones you release to the press, I suppose."

She bit her lips, not knowing what to say. The photograph in front of her had been taken by Athrun without her knowledge, and from the looks of it, this had been captured sometime before he'd left for Plant during the Second War.

As Epstein cut her hair, she realised that she was looking very different now. While he'd only started layering her hair, she felt a strange sense of familiarity, although she wasn't sure it was enough to keep her fears at bay.

"Epstein," Cagalli said in a tiny voice, "Have you met Lyra Delphius before?"

The sound of Epstein's scissors stopped and she closed her eyes, feeling tense and not daring to look at his expression in the mirror.

"I've seen her before." Epstein said quietly.

The silence persisted.

"She doesn't really look like you."

"Only that she's blonde."

"No, I meant that you are both very different."

She opened her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"When I met her," Epstein explained, "It was fairly obvious that she'd been through something that'd locked her up. Something very closed, very hollowed, something beautiful but weathered down. There was something in her that made people nervous, nervous and a bit conscious of themselves. But you-,"

He kissed her cheek, shifting the towel a little. "You make people remember why they can face the world. And that's why he couldn't forget you." He cut the last few strands of hair. "Voila."

Her eyes widened.

---

"How may I help you, Kira?" Meyrin's voice was very sweet and a bit high-pitched. She nodded as he showed her in, directing her to sit on the sofa while he fetched some tea for her. While in a uniform and briefcase, Meyrin looked highly professional. Lacus was very fond of her, as Kira understood it, and she'd often invited Meyrin over to the house.

She was truly a very lovable person, Kira thought briefly, looking at Meyrin. Her innocent face often fooled the world into how tough she really was, and Kira admired her spunk.

"How is Lacus?" Meyrin inquired, continuing on with the niceties.

"Feeling a little worse for wear," He said honestly, "But she's going strong and I'm going to visit her soon. Your sister and Shinn, Meyrin?"

"They're fine," Meyrin assured him. "They're still a bit childish- still arguing about stpid things, really. But they're fine." She beamed, but then sobered a little. "Shinn was worried about Miss Cagalli."

"I see." Kira said soberly. "Thank him for his concern on my behalf."

"I'm glad they could finally talk things through though," Meyrin said in a low voice. "If they hadn't-," She trailed off, looking apologetic. "He told me that he understood her much better after he'd worked for her."

"He was her bodyguard for a while," Kira reminded Meyrin. "They see the weakest points of their employers and their employers rely a lot on them. It surprised me though, that he wanted to work as her bodyguard."

"Well," Meyrin paused, "My sister says he told her he wanted to live in Orb for a while, and there was that opening for that job. So he decided to take it up even though he didn't expect to eventually be assigned to Miss Cagalli."

"But it worked out for the best, didn't it?" Kira smiled a little. "Even though Shinn is such a nomad he couldn't possibly have stuck around for so long. That's what Lacus told me anyway, from Cagalli."

"Right." She nodded. Then her expression became concerned. "Surely, you didn't just call me here to catch up?"

As Meyrin ran a hand through her hair, Kira was drawn to it. Her hair was in loose waves of red, and he was reminded of Fllay Alster, except that Meyrin's hair was a brighter, even more prominent shade.

"Meyrin," He said quietly, "I'd like to know what happened right after the Second war. When Athrun Zala decided to return to Orb to find Cagalli, what happened?"

He heard her take in a breath sharply. "Kira- I don't- I can't say w-,"
"Please." He found himself pleadingly. "I really need to know. It concerns more than you realise, and I need you to tell me what you know."

"Alright." Meyrin said uncertainly. Her eyes regarded him gravely, and he realised it was taking quite a bit of her willpower to remain calm.

"I was prepared to go anywhere with him," Meyrin told him reluctantly. "I was certain that I loved him more than anybody else, and I wanted him to return my feelings. But he never seemed to really notice me, and he never really responded to me in the way I wanted. Before I could even tell him that he was free to pursue the life he wanted, he was already making plans to return back to Orb. Then he informed me of his plans, quite casually even, like he wasn't expecting me to take a blow from that. I knew I'd lost him without even having even had him."

Kira watched as her small shoulders trembled a little. Comfortingly, he came to sit by Meyrin and drew his arm around her, imagining she was Cagalli, knowing that deep down, she was ashamed. She was ashamed of her weakness, ashamed of how deeply she had fallen in love, ashamed of how hopeful and presumptuous she had been.

"I returned him the ring that Miss Cagalli had asked me to keep," Meyrin said dejectedly. "And when I told him what she'd said on the Archangel, it made him even more determined to return to Orb. It was difficult to, you know."

Kira raised her head, looking at her now in surprise. "Difficult?"

She stared at him, nodding. "It wasn't an official statement or anything, but since I was tagging along with him for most part, I knew some of the difficulties he was going through. The Supreme Council wanted him to serve Zaft again- to return back there for a while and then maybe work a few years before he was promoted into the Supreme Council."

"That makes sense," Kira said slowly, "Because he'd proved himself to be a very good soldier during both wars."

"But he was upset." Meyrin revealed. "I'm not sure exactly why, and he never explained himself to me. But I think it was because he was so set on returning back to Orb, where he felt it was the one place he could really belong to. Probably because he wanted to return to Miss Cagalli." She murmured. "And he did go back there, didn't he?"

"Yes." Kira said slowly, "Last I heard, he was accepted into the military quite readily, and his achievements made him an Admiral, I think."

"But why didn't he reunite with Miss Cagalli?" Meyrin questioned. "I heard rumours that he hadn't really gone to Orb but had come back to Zaft. I tried looking around for him, but nobody had seen him, and the database was completely wiped clean of him."

"And what did you find?"

She shook her head. "It was like he'd never existed. One of my colleagues said he'd relinquished all his personal possessions to the state, and he'd disappeared shortly after that. He didn't take anything with him, apparently. None of his books, his things- nothing. They were put in boxes and moved out of the apartment he was supposed to be living in. But I never found out were those things were sent to." Her eyes were wide with concern, and she cocked her head, not really understanding.

But Kira already knew who could possibly have received and safe-kept everything for Athrun. Yzak Joule must have had gotten hold of Athrun's possessions, and he was therefore the only one who Kira would be able to force information from.

Of course, Kira had already been aware that Yzak Joule was in contact with Athrun Zala from the minute h'ed gotten the letter from Cagalli with her forgiveness written in it. What had started off to be a hunch had confirmed two things- that she was being held by Ahturn Zala, who in turn was getting information from Yzak Joule.

After all, only Kira knew of how Cagalli had reacted to the memories of Athrun in her traumatised state, and the only person who he'd told was Yzak. The only person who'd have allowed Cagalli to write this letter even while knowing the risks to his own safety was Athrun Zala, because Athrun Zala would have wanted Kira to patch things up with Cagalli.

"Why didn't she accept him?" Meyrin asked despondently.

Kira knew exactly what Cagalli had done and what she'd decided when she'd forced Athrun from Orb. He could not bring himself to tell Meyrin, so instead, he covered the truth. "Cagalli had already decided to move on. She didn't have the same feelings he'd kept for her. So he left Orb, although the circumstances he left in are unclear even up until today."

This was partially true though. Cagalli had prevented any news of the death of the then Orb Prime Minister from being tied to Athrun Zala but had forcefully ejected him from Orb. If Meyrin had passed Athrun the ring, Kira deduced, he must have tried to give it to Cagalli upon returning to Orb. And if Cagalli had refused him, then Athrun Zala still had the ring.

He paused, thinking deeply. What had happened to the ring? Surely, if Athrun had relinquished all his possessions back in Zaft before disappearing, that meant someone could still be safekeeping the ring.

If he could track the person down, Kira realised, then that person could tell him where Athrun was. But would Athrun have given the ring to someone to safe-keep?

"What happened to Athrun after that?" Meyrin was asking. "He's been missing since then and nobody's seen him." Her eyes widened again. "Did you meet him or hear from him since then, Kira?"

Kira paused, then nodded. "I heard from him. Just once."

His heart sank. He'd gone on a wild goose chase and still found nothing that could lead him to Athrun. Only Yzak Joule could help him or tell him where Athrun Zala was, and Kira knew that was unlikely.

But Kira had the note. For this note to have been written, Kira thought distractedly, Athrun must have surely wanted to give Cagalli the chance to patch things up with Kira. Kira had always been sure of this, even when his trap was inevitably set such that Athrun would know Kira was suspecting him, and that by sending a letter for Cagalli, he was confirming Kira's suspicions.

Kira hadn't expected Athrun to play into his hands, for surely, the circle that Athrun had bound himself in was too tight; too secretive. Kira knew for certain that Athrun would not be found if he didn't want to be. So why had Athrun played into his hands?

In fact, Kira had been expecting Yzak to reveal Kira as the informer of Cagalli's past. From there, Kira had expected Athrun to confront Cagalli about it. As Kira had reasoned, Cagalli would have then insisted on writing to tell Kira something. And by letting her do so, Athrun would be confirming to Kira that it was he holding Cagalli captive.

But Kira didn't know that Yzak was more humane than Kira had given him allowance for. Even when Kira had rightly predicted that Yzak would inform Athrun of Cagalli's past trauma, Kira didn't know that Yzak had kept the identity of the informer from Athrun.

It was simple and it was fail-proof even when Kira had assumed certain things.

Firstly, Kira had assumed that Yzak would tell Athrun not to confront Cagalli over this matter, or at least, not to let her send a letter back to Kira.

Secondly, Kira had also assumed that Athrun would ignore all of that and still let Cagalli send the letter, even when Athrun knew the risks of his identity being known to Kira.

And really, everything was based the third assumption, which Kira had been relying on from the start.

He gazed at Meyrin, her concerned face mirroring his own worrieds.

His basic assumption had turned out to be a fact.

Even after all this time, Athrun still loved or at least, had feelings for Cagalli.

---

When Athrun returned, he found Cagalli painting in the stone tower.

She was humming to herself, muttering and murmuring about this and that, canvas pinned up on the walls, and the window towards her right. Her head was turned in the direction of the sea and sky beyond the window.

As he watched her quietly, he took a look at her canvas. She'd discarded the easel somewhere on the ground, spread spare cloth all over the floor, and was using a scrubbing brush as a paintbrush and a bucket of watery paint rather than a palette.

But Cagalli noticed him entering, and turned around, her face lighting up. Behind her, the canvas was a cerulean world, the texture like waves crashing upon paper, dots of gold sprayed everywhere by her arm flicking and throwing paint from a distance. She'd somehow mixed the water at different points and formed variations of aquamarine that rushed as waves within the picture. It wasn't complete, but Athrun could see its inherent beauty.

Standing those metres away, Athrun felt his pulse quicken as she smiled at him, her hair swirling golden and tendrils around her face, short now, as he'd remembered. Before he'd left, he'd given a photograph to Epstein, telling him that Cagalli was to have her hair trimmed. Epstein had taken the photograph, wisely keeping his comments to himself on why his master even had that photograph, and had probably set to work soon enough.

The oversized painting framed how delicate her bones were and her eyes looked an even purer shade of gold in the light that whispered its notes through the window. But there was stubbornness in her posture, the way her frame was held high and her arms bare and her shoes somewhere on the floor. were

He felt his breath catch as he attempted a greeting. "Hello."

"I didn't expect you to be back this soon." She said joyfully, pattering towards her. In only a loose singlet and shorts, he thought of the girl who'd shot in the air and ended up tending his wound.

He stepped towards her, but not before taking off his shoes and socks, tossing them to where her slippers were. With amusement, Cagalli watched as he carefully treaded his way on the rags she'd laid to protect the floor.

"This isn't half-bad at all," He said mildly, unaffectedly even. He began turning back to her after he observed her new painting. But his smile gave him away.

"That's good," She said in the same posh, unimpressed tone he used, then chuckled, her voice building into peals of laugher. Athrun grinned, moving near her and taking her face into her hands.

"You told me you'd be back soon," Cagalli said eagerly now, "I didn't know it be this soon."

He smiled. "I suppose I should have made you waited. Maybe you'd be gladder to see me back."

She snorted, taking her hands away from her face and sliding those to her waist. "I believe you."

"Come with me," Athrun said intently. "I brought you something."

When they entered her room, she saw that he'd already laid it out on her bed. The twins had also wheeled tea in and set in on the table, and Cagalli could see a strawberry shortcake and tea waiting there. The air was perfumed with those glorious scents, but Athrun's gift caught her eye more. She ran towards the bed, and she picked up the gift, flipping through it with a growing joy on her face.

"Thank you." She said softly, looking at him as he moved towards her. A small book was in her hands now, and she opened it up slowly, smiling uncontrollably at the scribbling and drawings in it. "You kept this journal with Kira when you were children?"

"Yes." He admitted. "But you must try not to laugh at what we planned together and wrote down in this book."

She flipped through, looking at the childish crayon scribbling and the little secrets they'd penned down. There were leaves they'd pressed in the book, a ribbon from a girl Kira had been too shy to talk to, and all those little things that made a childhood that her twin and Athrun had been through for a few brief years. There were even sketches of a bird that they'd watched with binoculars, laying its eggs after building its nest, and to her delight, she saw it resembled Tori.

She looked at him again, her eyes shining softly. "Thank you."

The dress he'd laid upon her bed was one that she recognised, and her breath catching, she picked it up with a hand. "I thought I'd ruined this."

"Only a ripped hem." Athrun told her, smoothing the cobalt green gift out. "Nothing Laplacia couldn't fix. Wear it for me, will you?"

"Alright," She agreed readily. He smiled, moving to the wardrobe and opening it to take some slips out that she'd wear with the dress.

Cagalli gazed at the bright colours in the wardrobe intently, setting everything down on the bed again and coming behind him. As his fingers shifted through the dresses, she caught sight of something golden, and memories tugged at her mind.

As she tried to look away, she caught sight of her reflection and she saw the hair that Athrun had asked her to cut. Not knowing what to make of everything, Cagalli tried to quell the fear and insecurity rising in her. But she only succeeded somewhat.

"Athrun." Cagalli said numbly. "That's a dress Lyra wore before, isn't it?"

He turned around reluctantly, although he admitted readily to it. "Yes. And that necklace too." He took her in his arms, not caring about what he had been trying to do before that. "I'm sorry."

She buried her face in his chest, the hurt returning to her but the weakness of being near him hitting her at full force now. With a half-hearted effort, she tried to extricate herself, but her efforts went nowhere.

Cagalli looked up at him miserably. "I couldn't tell you how afraid I was, or how miserable I felt when you told me about Lyra each time. Even now, I'm still scared."

"Don't be," Athrun said quietly. "I would never try to hurt you that way. You're not Lyra, Cagalli. It was wrong for me to think of her as you- or try to substitute you with her. You're not the same person as her, and I shouldn't have ever hurt either of you like that."

It was painful, Cagalli thought, this proximity that he could numb her pride with and convince her to trust him. She shouldn't have; she should have pushed him away and told him to leave, but his warmth and the slight tremor she'd heard in his apology made it all impossible.

"I have no excuse for that." Athrun told her hesitantly. "But please forgive me."

She faltered, and then nodded slowly, biting her lips. He looked at her sombrely, and then said quietly, "I shouldn't have hurt you that way. I didn't mean to but it was inevitable and I still shouldn't have allowed it."

"No matter." Cagalli told him, her voice growing firm. "That's all in the past now."

Quietly, she added, "I'll wear this dress for you."

He watched in silence as she stepped away, moving to the bed and turning towards the wall, pulling off her singlet.

In those still moments as Athrun observed her back, she began pulling the dress over her head, adjusting it as she undid her shorts, then shook the skirt out as she stepped out of the shorts.

In the cobalt dress, he could remember the way she'd looked at every function he'd observed her at a distance from. As Alex Dino, she had been a kind of vision to him. But now, she returned into his arms, taking his hands in hers. Her smile was shy, but he felt gratitude at her sincerity and how honest she'd been with him. He'd been surprised to find her so accepting of his mistakes, and he'd been a bit wary of approaching those and telling her, but now, Athrun felt his burden lighten.

"We better have this tea before it gets cold," He muttered, leading her to the table and having her sit down. He looked at her, smiling hesitantly. "And maybe to celebrate-," His eyes travelled to the newly-repaired gift.

"I was upset when I tore this," Cagalli revealed wistfully, looking down at the impeccably mended hem. She reached over, pouring tea for herself and him. "I didn't know why I felt so miserable over it, but I suppose it was because I have this awful habit of getting something and destroying it just so soon after I get it."

He smiled tensely, thinking of the pen that he'd gone through great pains to get her to carry. Without knowing his thoughts, Cagalli began to speak, trying to break the thick silence in the air.

"It was a pen from Shiho Hahnenfuss and Yzak," Cagalli told him unsuspectingly, expecting him to be surprised.

He feigned it and not detecting anything, Cagalli chuckled. "I carried it everywhere, as she'd advised, because it was a lovely gift from her. But less than a month later, I stepped on it by accident and it cracked. I had to throw it away- it broke my heart."

"It was probably a bad quality pen." He assured her, allowing himself a small smile. He cut a bit of his slice of cake to maintain some normality. "And besides, if it can't stand an accident-prone owner, it probably deserved to be sent off in the next world."

She laughed, "Yes, I am rather clumsy, I think. Or accident-prone. Still, I'm a very lucky person." She lifted her fork into the air, showing him a strawberry she'd speared.

"Maybe." He said genially. Inside he thought, 'Yes, you certainly are."

"It's true! I've had a few mishaps waiting to happen to me all this while, but nothing ever happened- nothing that got me severely injured in an accident."

'Only because of Shinn,' Athrun thought to himself.

"Once," She rattled on, "I sent my car for its annual servicing. Apparently, the lock jammed and I fell asleep in the car."

'That's dangerous you know,' Athrun said calmly.

"I'll say! But fortunately, Shinn Asuka called my office that day, asking to speak to me. I had no idea why he called or why he chose such an early time to call, but still-," Cagalli shrugged, eating a little of her cake. "I suppose he just wanted to talk. So Aaron was forced to check out where I was. I was sleeping in the car, in the carpark, and Aaron managed to smash the windows open with a fire-extinguished he broke some other glass to get to."

He looked at her, remarking, "That's fortunate."

"And then there was this time I was almost pick pocketed when I decided to walk out on the streets to do a little shopping alone- incognito of course. Just last year, actually." Cagalli laughed. She set down her cup, looking at him. "I was carrying lots of groceries, and I had my shades on and everything and some dowdy coat. I suppose the pickpocket must have thought I was a rich house-wife or something without realizing that house-wives don't do their own shopping- their maids do it for them."

"And then?" Athrun asked, knowing exactly what had happened next. He drank his tea, observing her over the rim of his cup.

"I was trailed down an alley, and suddenly, the fellow took out a knife and charged towards me. I was so stunned I couldn't react, but then Shinn Asuka appeared again," Cagalli told him excitedly. "Kicked the guy off although the fellow made a run for it."

"Why was he there?" Athrun said inquisitively, although he knew how Shinn had even been there. After all, Athrun had orchestrated everything.

She hesitated, looking at him. "I know what you're thinking. But we actually had a good talk and we sorted things out a little. Eventually, I agreed to let him be my bodyguard. He was in that post for about a year, while in Orb."

"Visiting Lunamaria, I suppose." Athrun told her glibly. Shinn had told him that when Athrun had asked Shinn to watch out for Cagalli.

Shinn had convinced Cagalli to hire him as her bodyguard. Naturally, Athrun had been pleasantly astonished to find Shinn so proactive about repaying his favour to Athrun.

"To get you off my back." Shinn had muttered. "And also because it's convenient for me to stay in Orb. Luna's there- training."

But now, Cagalli shook her head, smiling a bit awkwardly. "That's what he told me at first, when he asked if I needed a bodyguard. He wanted a job in Orb, he said, so he could be with Lunamaria Hawke more often. So I agreed, because-," She colored slightly. "I've always felt a bit indebted to him."

"I understand that." Athrun said tentatively, "But-?"

"But Lunamaria wasn't even in Orb at that time when he asked to be my bodyguard." Cagalli finished. She looked at him, a strange flush rising under her cheeks.

Athrun was shocked. He ignored the second slice of cake she was transporting to his plate. "What?"

Her voice was blithe because she did not suspect anything. "I first met him during a surprise party some time near my twenty-third birthday. I never got to speak to him, but then he called three weeks later. That was when he'd kinda prevented a mishap from happening."

She shrugged, not realizing the real significance of it. Certainly, Cagalli was oblivious to Athrun's frozen state and how he was ignoring the tea. "So I invited him over to my house a few days after that, wanting to set the record straight once and for all. We spoke about the past, and he was still very bitter about it but-," She smiled warmly, looking down at her hands. "It became better from there on. We ended up- well, hitting it off."

Athrun found his eyes widening. Hadn't Shinn insisted that Cagalli Yula Atha was still that stubborn, annoying woman he was sure she was when Athrun had called to ask how his watching over her was going?

"And he became my bodyguard shortly after that because he asked to have a job in Orb. Without suspecting anything, I gave it to him and he'd accompany me to the office and things like that." She waved her hand carelessly in the air. "This cake's good," Cagalli added.

Athrun already knew that Shinn had been keeping tabs- he'd planned it after all, but not this.

"And he prevented a few more potential mishaps time and again-," She laughed negligently. "I told you I was accident prone."

"No," Athrun objected a little more vehemently than he should have allowed for. She looked at him in surprise, suddenly realizing how tense he was and how he was not enjoying his tea as much as he had previously done.

"Tell me how you found out that Lunamaria Hawke wasn't even in Orb."

She remained mum, colouring a little more. A pretty, rosy shade tinted her cheeks, and suddenly, Athrun felt his ire rise. Not noticing it still, Cagalli stammered, "Well, I started to get a bit edgy about-er,"

There had been something happening right under his nose, he realized. Something he hadn't noticed, much less even foreseen.

"Wait- you mean-," Athrun trailed off, grabbing her hand in his and holding up in the air towards him.

She looked at him in surprise, "Hey, what's the big d-,"

"Shinn Asuka lied to you," Athrun said intently, "And told you he wanted a job in Orb to keep close to Lunamaria Hawke. And you gave it to him because of that. And then you realize that she wasn't even around, but what made you try and check?"

At this point, his fears were confirmed. Cagalli blushed scarlet and he let go of her hand, staring at her.

"We were quite close at one point." Cagalli said reluctantly, trying to shake her hand free except that he didn't let her. "And I-,"

She looked at him nervously, afraid he would scorn her for what was possibly her imagination and tell her she needed to rein it in more. "He'd begun to be a very familiar person to me, and we were almost like brother and sister- something I never even imagined possible in the past. I was at ease for a while, but then-," She fell silent.

"Let me guess." Athrun said in a brittle voice, letting go of her hand abruptly. "He was starting to look like a puppy every time he laid eyes on you."

"No," Cagalli denied vehemently but very unconvincingly, taking her hand back and massaging it with the other. She stared at him, not understanding why the vibes he was giving off were somewhat hostile. "Shinn's a friend or a brother to me- it wasn't even vaguely possible-,"

"I think he was beginning to develop romantic feelings for you." Athrun's tone was very sharp, and he was cursing Shinn inwardly. Damn that fellow for being so sneaky and taking his chance to get closer to Cagalli. Really, Athrun thought irritatedly, he was only there because he was supposed to help Athrun prevent anyone from harming her!

"That's not really worth talking about," Cagalli muttered, and she watched Athrun's eyes flash. "It's nothing, really. Nothing to talk ab-,"

"I want you to." Athrun said firmly. "You owe me a favour for telling you about Harumi and Ko, don't you? I'm collecting it now. I want you to tell me how Shinn landed up there."

She gazed at him, a bit stunned at how aggressive Athrun was suddenly becoming. "B-But nothing ever happened and-," Cagalli drew in a breath and said something foolish, she realized immediately. "And it doesn't concern you."

Athrun shook his head, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. There was frustration in his face and he looked sad, she realized. Irritated, miserable and very upset. "I'm coming off as a big jerk, I know that, Cagalli. It's just-," He breathed in, trying to control his temper. "I just want to know."

"There wasn't really anything. Probably me being stupid, really," She admitted guiltily, although she couldn't find a way to look at Athrun in the eye. "I sent him off anyway, telling him that I didn't really need a bodyguard anyway, and that I was glad I'd made a friend like him."

"And what was his reaction?" Athrun said, stunned. He hadn't expected that of Shinn, but looking at Cagalli, Athrun knew that anything could motivate someone who had felt moved by her. As Shinn had claimed to Athrun, Cagalli had told him she didn't need a bodyguard anymore, and perhaps that was true. But Athrun was suspicious now.

Her eyes widened a little because she hadn't expected him to want to know that. "He left quite readily, saying that he was off."

Last Athrun had checked, Shinn had toured the world a bit and probably landed back in Panama to meet up with Lunamaria- his on-off girlfriend. Maybe it was really just some familiarity that was getting a bit too awkward, and Athrun being too possessive about this whole issue and Cagalli. Gritting his teeth, Athrun glared at the cup with the tea he'd drank very little of.

"Athrun," He heard her say in a small, unsure voice, "Er- Is anything the matter?"

"Well, no, nothing serious really." Athrun said sarcastically. "I'm just feeling like an ogre now. Frankly, I'm going green, but there's nothing particularly concerning about that."

She finally realized what was getting under his skin, and her jaw falling open, she stood out of her chair. In a flash, Cagalli was mving to him, suffocating him with a hug and laughing. She laughed and laughed, and he watched in astonishment as tears poured out of her eyes.

"Oh don't be silly," She chided him. "You're a grown-up, you're not supposed to behave like a kid! And besides, he was like Kira to me- a brother!"

"Yes, but-," He was feeling rather helpless.

She cut him off, looking at him. "Besides, as weird as the surroundings are, as strange as it happened, I'm here with you, aren't I?"

She pulled him into a hug again, laughing, relieved that she had understood him. But Cagalli was a little pleased that he was upset at what she'd told him, and a twinkle found its way into her eyes. "I'm not about to up and leave, Athrun."

"You better not." He muttered, hugging her back. "I'd be a wreck."

Touched although Cagalli forced herself to keep her emotions in control, she laughed and kissed his forehead.

It was good then, she decided, that she had not told Athrun of how she and Shinn had become close friends. While it had taken Cagalli quite long to notice anything, Shinn's repeated gestures of concern had eventually become quite obvious and beyond the scope of his job. If anything, Cagalli had been a bit nervous once she'd realized that he was becoming very familiar with her. If Athrun had known that Shinn had begged to stay on when she'd gently brought up the issue of how his time was better spent seeing more places of the world, Athrun may have taken it the wrong way.

Why did she care what Athrun thought anyway, Cagalli wondered, when they weren't exactly in a relationship that required fidelity or had any semblance of a normal relationship in the first place? But glancing at how relieved Athurn looked, Cagalli was glad that she'd been sensitive to him.

Unbeknownst to her, Athrun was already planning what he would be doing after this. It was time to contact Shinn again and to sound him out. If he was right, Athrun realized, Shinn had probably harbored a kind of crush on Cagalli without meaning to or without her really noticing it. But Cagalli had been wary enough to send him off when her instincts told her to.

At the same time, Athrun was aware that he was being paranoid or unreasonable. Cagalli was here and the relationship they had wasn't even that of lovers- not yet, anyway, Athrun reminded himself. He really didn't have a reason to demand Shinn tell him the truth.

But whatever the case, Athrun knew his innards had burned when he'd seen Cagalli fidget and look nervous. Shinn had done him a favour, Athrun knew. But inside, he found himself ill at ease and unhappy that Shinn had probably done more than that.

After all, Athrun had always identified with Shinn in some ways. Gazing at Cagalli, Athrun wouldn't be surprised if this was another way that Cagalli had allowed for without realizing it.

---

2 months. 26 days.