The Isle

by puzzlepuzzle

In the aftermath of the Second War, Athrun Zala vanished without a trace for seven years - Cagalli never thought to find him. But fate deviates when he comes to find her himself and a web of desire and deceit lies before them. Original Cover Art SEQUEL OUT. .

21. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing of GS/GSD. R&R please.

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Chapter 20

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"I didn't think you'd be back so soon." Yzak's voice was tentative, and it was incongruent with the white uniform he wore. He sat up a little straighter, wishing it had been someone else who was here instead of him.

Athrun stared forward, although he saw little. What he registered was even less. There was nothing in his face that suggested much or any clear emotion, save his mouth. That was a thin, tightened line of pain and what Yzak Joule recognised as anger. Had Athrun Zala shown his anger outwardly, Yzak might have felt more competent to deal with it.

Frowning, Yzak shook his head. "You know as well as I do that you've been under surveillance ever since you came back here from the battle of Messiah. You've defected one too many times, Athrun, and I can't lie and say that Plant and Zaft are thrilled over that."

Athrun looked at him expressionlessly. "Then fire me."

"You quit before we could." Yzak said pointedly. "You wrote a resignation letter before the heads could issue you a promotion letter." He shook his head. This was not what he was here to discuss. How did they end up on this track? His instructions had been clear: detain Athrun Zala, give him his instructions, and arrange for Athrun Zala to leave on the mission. But here he was, Yzak realised, trying to understand a person who seemed to have become someone else over this few months.

"I know." Athrun replied after a pause. "But I was foolish enough to think that renouncing my Plant citizenship for an Orb one would stop that.'

"To be honest," Yzak told him, "It would never stop even if you'd have gotten a full Orb citizenship. In fact, the surveillance would have become even more stringent."

The meaning was clear. Athrun Zala had always been marked.

Yzak thought of how he'd once seen the hope in Athrun's face, the quiet smile that had played on his comrade's lips as Athrun had watched Lacus Clyne dart into Kira Yamato's arms. Clearly, all those present at the swearing-in of the new Zaft member had felt happy for the couple. But none as much as Athrun, Yzak supposed, since Athrun had clearly been harbouring other plans of returning to Orb. As far as that had been concerned, Yzak recalled how many months had passed since Athrun Zala had left the Plants and Zaft to be an admiral in Orb.

"But then you came back here. Why?"

Athrun did not know what to say. He did not know how to tell Yzak that all he had sacrificed had amounted to little. Nor did he find it in him to tell Yzak that he was aching, for that had been replaced with a dull kind of throbbing pain at the recollection of how she'd never turned to look back at him leaving.

Instead, Athrun decided that if he had to move on, then he would uproot everything at this point now. Looking at Yzak, who'd come to see him right after Athrun had been detained quietly and almost unnoticeably at the immigration counter, Athrun wondered if anyone really understood what was happening.

"I haven't done anything illegal." Athrun said tiredly, holding up his hands on the table between him and Yzak.

Yzak held up a file. "I heard from the Plant Embassy in Orb, even if the ongoing investigations are still kept from the media."

"I know there's still some doubt in the air and the investigations haven't ended in Orb. But detaining me like this?" Athrun's eyes narrowed.

Those hands were handcuffed, and there were two Zaft officers standing outside, guarding the room that Athrun had been directed to. "Even if I don't have a Plant citizenship anymore, I can still enter Aprilius as a visitor, can't I? I'm not the murderer- whatever you've been hearing from your contacts back in the Orb military or government. I'm only back to take some things and then go."

"What were you coming back here to take?" Yzak's voice was not sharp as Athrun had expected, but calm and almost too composed to be natural.

Athrun was experiencing too much fatigue to evade anything. "Everything I own. Everything my parents left for me. I don't belong here. You know that."

"You know that the state has overruled the will your father left." Yzak said tightly. "Your inheritance no longer exists. It is the state's property because of the questionable details and the contents of the diaries and letters Patrick Zala left."

Athrun surprised them both by slamming his fists on the table, even though they were already bound. His voice, to his horror, was trembling with the rage that had accumulated from more than a single setback. "Plant has no right to want to make me serve it! Don't think I don't know why they want me in the Supreme Council."

"Look," Yzak said sharply, "You'd be an idiot if you didn't know they were doing this because they don't want you to be independent and run the risk of becoming another Patrick Zala. I know you realise this. But you have to serve Plant and Zaft- face it! You belong here!"

Athrun shook his head grimly. "If I refuse to serve in the Supreme Council, then it simply must find another puppet. Detaining me like this and seizing what is rightfully mine won't prevent me from taking everything and leaving to another place."

"I'm telling you that you have no where left to go!" Yzak's voice rose and he stood up, glaring at Athrun. "Orb doesn't want you- that's why you're back here, right? I'm not here to baby you, Athrun Zala, I'm here as the representative of the Intelligence Council! And for me to have to face a former comrade like this is something you will never understand! So listen to me, if it's the last thing you do that makes sense for yourself!'

Athrun narrowed his eyes. "If you're here as a representative for Plant and Zaft, it means you have a message from the Supreme Council. I don't want it."

"It's not a matter of choice, Zala." Yzak sounded almost bitter. "You should have learnt that by now. It's a matter of one end over another. Even if you go to another place in this world, even if you change your name a thousand times, you are still Athrun Zala. Plant will never forget that. You want normality? That's all bullshit. If you wanted normality, you wouldn't have gone back to Orb for her."

And studying Yzak, Athrun understood what Yzak was trying to say. While Athrun had wanted to leave the past behind, by hoping to be with someone like Cagalli Yula Atha, Athrun was giving up all hope of that. Of course, as Yzak was telling him, there had never been a hope of him leaving his father's past behind him as well.

Athrun drew a deep breath in and tried to calm himself down. "No matter what, I want to leave the Plants. I don't want to answer to anyone except myself, and certainly not to people who are obsessed with what my father wanted and what he almost achieved through him and me. And I want to take everything with me."

"Not possible. "Yzak shot back. "You can't leave Plant, and you most certainly cannot take what your father left for you. Those are too dangerous for you. The contents cannot be read by you, as was agreed amongst those in the Intelligence Council. And if you do try to obtain those from the state's security trust, that will be a suicidal mission. "

"You think I can't guess what's in those diaries?" Athrun laughed hollowly. "I am Patrick Zala's son. I should know what plans he had for me. Dangerous contents? And what was all that about not being here to baby me, Representative Joule? Is the Intelligence Council trying to censor what Patrick Zala wanted when he fathered me?"

"Shut up!" Yzak, who was already on his feet, looked even morel livid. Unfazed, Athrun sat up straighter in his chair, both men staring with something akin to hated at each other. "I'm not here just as an Intelligence officer and its current representative, Athrun Zala! They didn't know you left Plant for some woman who happened to be the leader of Orb- they didn't know you weren't exactly trying to restart some war by supporting Dullindal- but I do! And that's why I'm thinking of all this even when I'm following my orders and talking to you while you are detained right now! So if you think of yourself at all, then you better listen. I'm here with a proposal that Plant and Zaft is offering you."

Yzak drew in a deep breath, his tirade cut short only by the sudden doubts he had in his heart. Would Athrun Zala agree to this? Was this hook that the council had placed enough to draw in a person who was so quietly stubborn and unwilling to accept simple orders? "This room is not under surveillance, nor is it bugged. I have already made sure of that. I am not speaking solely as an Intelligence officer, but as someone who can and wants to help. You want your father's things, don't you? Those, including his diaries. I can help you take those and help you leave your past behind. All you have to do is agree to the proposal I am to tell you about."

"Let's hear it." Athrun smiled grimly. "You want me to do something to get what my father left for me, don't you? If it involves the Supreme Council members leaving me alone, I just might consider."

At that point, Yzak slumped back into his seat. Neither of them spoke, although the tension was so apparent that it consumed nearly all else.

Yzak knew he could convince the Intelligence Council that bringing Athrun Zala to the Isle was a security nothing else could provide. Even if they gave the diaries to Athrun Zala, he would be unable to carry those out while working for Zaft.

Yzak would convince them of that, and in turn tell Athrun that if he wanted to forget the past and take something so important with him, he'd only have to numb himself and work for three years. Even if Erlich Hoffman was somebody that Athrun Zala would normally have been unwilling to train, Yzak knew how to convince Athrun Zala too. Pain and rejection was a very easy thing to make use of, even when it came to someone like Athrun.

If anything, Yzak told himself firmly, he was helping Athrun to forget and to get what he needed. So when Yzak could find the courage to broach the subject he had been so unwilling to speak up about, he knew that it was in Athrun's best interests.

At least, Yzak thought, looking at the gaunt expression and the haunted, strangely familiar sadness in Athrun's face, he hoped it was.

"Look," Yzak said finally, "As just a former comrade and not a representative-," He paused, looking miserable suddenly, shaking his head. "I think it's better if you do as they tell you to."

Athrun's voice was flat. "Why?"

"Because it's the one ticket to what you want right now."

"And what have you imagined that to be?" Athrun's cynicism was clear in his tone.

Yzak looked straight at him.

"Leaving your father and her behind. And forgetting who you really are."

---

The bath they'd taken together had been less awkward than the previous one they'd had when he was injured. Now, he felt a smile tug its way to his lips.

She'd crept in while he was soaking in the water, and he'd taken her into his arms when Cagalli had slipped into the water. He hadn't wanted to feel so comfortable with her, but of course Athrun had. If their time together was becoming a routine, then it was a nasty habit that he felt like encouraging.

In the water, they could lie back for hours and talk. They'd done that today.

Their conversation made something in him ache. In the scents of the perfumed water and the mist of the steam, he'd asked about her life back in Orb.

She'd been more forthcoming than the last time when he had been injured, and Cagalli had even spoken to him about Aaron Biliensky. She told him about how she trusted him enough to give him the number to her house and how to clear the security locks of the gates too.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Athrun had frowned. "Security personnel don't even know how to do that, and here you have someone who's second-in-command and-,"

She had cut him off. "Aaron would never betray me, Athrun."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." She'd replied stubbornly, and nothing he said or cautioned could convince her otherwise. She told him about all Aaron had done for her- how he'd rearranged her living room, how he had often brought his little tastes and eccentricities to the office and how he brightened even her worst days.

"The best gay, bitching friend I could ever wish for." Cagalli had told him, giggling as she'd recounted the title Aaron had conferred upon himself, along with the past stories of how it had been hate at first sight. "The best friend I could ever wish for. A godsend, really. I'd be lost without him. He taught me how to cook dishes I actually wanted to eat, and he'd dare me to do things I always chickened out on."

Her smile had dimmed a little. "He was worried when I was invited to Scandinavia- he thought I'd be asked to help to weed out Scandinavia's internal conflicts." She shrugged.

Athrun hadn't known what to say to that, and remained silent until the topics had moved on. She'd told him about the other friends at work and the friends from her convent days that she still kept in touch with. She recounted the racy stories some of them lived to tell, and she told him about what nice people they all were.

He'd smiled, seeing beyond what met the eye because of what Shinn had told him. The genuine liking of others was there, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that she had never relied on many even if many relied on her.

As he thought of what Shinn had told him, Athrun had gazed at Cagalli's silhouette. Even next to him in the water, she seemed almost fragile to the point that she could disappear if he did so much as blink. The solitariness of her form even when he put her close to him made him wonder what really went through her mind.

But today, in the bath, the recollection of how she'd tried to be indifferent to him for so long had made him realise that she didn't want to be dependent ever again. He understood that. Being dependent meant the risk of being broken and both of them were afraid of that.

Because he had been contemplating this, he offered nothing until she had turned around. Cagalli had stopped him from soaping her back and asking him hesitantly, "What about you, Athrun? What about your friends?"

And Athrun had found himself telling her about Dearka Elsman, Yzak Joule, Nicol Amalfi, Rusty Mckenzie, Miguel Aiman, and of course, Kira Yamato. She'd listened, wide-eyed and very attentively to the escapades they'd been through together, and she'd been particularly curious about Yzak. When he'd inquired, she'd told him why.

"Because he's a very important person in Plant now," Cagalli had said wholeheartedly, not understanding that Athrun of all people, would understand and agree with that.

Still, Athrun had appreciated her willingness to fill him in on all she thought he had left behind. He had watched as she'd mused to herself. "He is very well-supported by almost everyone in the Supreme Plant Council, and there is talk that he'll be Chairman after Eileen Kanaver retires, or if he chooses to run in the future."

"Yes," Athrun had agreed. "Yzak would suit a leadership position." His expression turned wry. "That is, when he can keep his temper and his foul vocabulary to himself. He's a bit of a wildcard."

She tilted her head as a question.

"He's a madman when he's angered, and he can get angered at the slightest thing." Athrun explained. "And he's less predictable than you would imagine. A bit of a crazy head."

"But that's not true anymore! He's mellowed incredibly over the years, and he's a really good person." Cagalli had protested, with that same naiveté that Athrun found both heart-wrenching and endearing. "I know you weren't exactly on friendly terms with him at times, Athrun, but you mustn't blame him. He tries very hard, you know. If he was asked to help his friend, say you, for example,-" She looked at Athrun earnestly. "I don't think anything would matter more to him than sticking to the friendships he cherished. That's the person Yzak is."

Their bath had not ended with him leaving the water first, as was their custom so far. Today, he'd waited in the bath, whispering that he wanted to stay there a little longer. Cagalli had offered to stay there with him, but he'd asked her to go ahead and had watched as she'd made her way cautiously from there.

He'd folded his arms, resting his head on them. As she'd looked at him pleadingly, he had only smiled silently, pushing her slightly and encouraging her to step out. She'd been trembling while drying herself and slipping into a bathrobe, knowing he was watching her. But he'd realised that she did not know he was admiring her. The strange combination of her insecurities but that somehow reckless energy of hers was intoxicating.

At this point, Athrun looked at how Cagalli was staring out at the sea.

As the night drew its way into the room, Athrun was aware that Cagalli was equally distracted by her unvoiced worries. The sky was changing beyond her, and the clouds swelled into a magnificent orchestra of sound and water, joining the chorus of waves that grew in frenzied rhythm and intensity.

For the past hour, she had been sitting at the window, kneeling on the couch she'd shifted to it, thinking semi-completed, wistful thoughts. Those were disconnected, frayed with her nerves and her doubts, and she could not seem to find any space in her mind to store those and make sense of them.

From the bed and through the gap of the translucent hangings, Athrun was watching her. Troubled, he closed his eyes, sinking further into the bed, wondering why the rain was building up so quickly. In this approaching October, the autumns on the Isle were rainy ones. This was no exception.

Cagalli's face was turned away and he could not see her expression except hints of her profile. But he knew too, that she was deep in thought.

It wasn't the first time that Athrun wondered what she saw beyond the window. Perhaps, she saw only the waves and the sky. Or perhaps, she saw what was beyond in her mind's eye- perhaps she was seeing Orb even when he'd effectually bound her emotionally to him by forcing her to revisit their past and to face their present in ways he hadn't even predicted for.

If he told her about Lacus' child, he thought suddenly, Cagalli would surely insist on seeing the child or finding a way to speak to Lacus next.

That was potentially more dangerous than letting her contact Kira, for Lacus was ultimately working for the Plant Supreme Council. Even if she had been asked to take a break for her pregnancy and maternity leave, Lacus still retained contacts with far too many members of that Council. The Numbers did have three Council members, but not all were from the same group. The existence of the Isle and even the Numbers and Eyes were secrets kept away from even most of the Council.

For now, Athrun decided not to raise anything that would remind her of the baby.

Kira Yamato and Lacus Clyne's house was highly guarded, and there were even bodyguards the Supreme Council had posted around to keep them safe as part of their jobs' perks. No camera had gotten even ten metres close to the baby, and even Athrun had no proof that the child had really been born. There were rumours circulating that the Yamato family had moved back to their estate, but nobody had gotten photographs of what was surely a celebrity baby.

He wondered if he ought to get Shinn to pay Kira and Lacus a visit. Obtaining a picture of the child for Cagalli would surely make her happier, and Athrun wondered what her reaction to the baby would be.

Perhaps she would gaze at her niece or nephew with the same tenderness the way she looked at Ko. And perhaps, Athrun thought with a pang of sadness, knowing that her twin's family was safe would keep her satisfied for a while more.

Cagalli suddenly turned, moving off the couch and pattering back to the warmth of the bed. Greyfriars was willing and probably already planning to have her killed in a more concrete decision than before.

Her face was still hidden by the hangings, but he could see her approaching, and Athrun wondered why his bitterness could not be ignored. As she parted the gap of the hangings a little more to give her an entrance, sliding into the bed and into his waiting arms to hug him, Athrun knew that her time was running out.

Studying Cagalli as she bent over him to kiss him, Athrun knew that if he was careful enough, Cagalli would continue trusting him.

Currently, she already did. The room was clear proof of that. She was beginning to make her presence clear in this room, as if Cagalli had instinctively understood that while they were not quite lovers, they had accepted each other.

"I like what you've done with the vases." He remarked briefly, feeling her shift against him and grin at his comment.

There were fresh flowers she'd put into the room, sitting in the once- empty vases on the table and on the dresser. Those filled the room with soft fragrances, and the colours made Athrun smile.

"The twins and Ko helped." Cagalli told him. She looked at him a little bashfully. "I asked them what would make a room look more welcoming, and Cartesia came up with the idea of flowers. She said they'd brighten up the place instantly, and I think she's right."

In her white, long-sleeved nightgown she'd worn after her bath, Cagalli looked even smaller-framed than she already was. Like a little ghost, she'd crept into his bed, sidling a little closer now.

"I thought you weren't fond of flowers," He teased her, tugging at her cheek. She grinned a little and bit his shoulder lightly and playfully.

"It's true." Cagalli admitted. "But some make the room look more-," She paused, trying to find the right word. "Normal."

Athrun chuckled. "How funny you are. You only think of taking flowers when you need those for interior decoration. Most girls go for flowers when those are presented or even around them- it's like an instinct."

She shrugged. "Maybe it is, but I got jaded. I got too many bouquets with too many pre-printed cards with only signatures. After a while, the flowers became less valuable and the hand-written cards became even more priceless."

Athrun laughed with her. "Tell me about the gifts you must have gotten from the hopefuls."

"The usual nonsense." Cagalli muttered. "More flowers, more candy that I gave to Aaron and his niece, and the most memorable- dried seahorses. Aaron stamped on that official's foot when he tried to present it."

"Those are delicacies, apparently." Athrun noted with great amusement. "And you rejected it just like that? You horrible person."

It was a strange conversation, Cagalli thought privately. Did lovers even sit around in bed, lazing away the evening and talking about their past lovers? Was that for men and women in relationships that mattered little anyway? And what about her and Athrun, who seemed to fall into neither category?

She smacked him on the shoulder mischievously, eyes twinkling. "It was Aaron who stamped on his foot, silly. I was mortified, of course, but secretly glad I wouldn't have to look at those poor creatures and boil them in soup for virility or something."

Cagalli knew she was enjoying how they were spending their evenings sitting around and talking. A small blush crept to her cheeks as she considered that she still felt close to Athrun even if he did something so little as to laugh with her and then fall asleep with her when they were too tired to continue their conversations late into the night.

But where this potentially dangerous set of topics were concerned, they'd settled into this cavalier sort of conversation mood.

If Athrun had shown dislike towards James Marlin or even envy as he had openly admitted to, then now, he seemed only mildly interested at the years she'd spent in unwilling blind dates or even pre-arranged dates.

She'd been forced to attend those by the Council of Elders and personal advisors, but Cagalli realised she was not about to tell him how unwilling she'd been as she'd gone through the motions. He would then ask why she'd been so unwilling, and she would be forced to verbalise thoughts she was still grappling to come to terms with.

Hence, she told him about the things she'd been given without telling him how little those had meant in the end. All the same, Cagalli realised he would sense this anyway. Now, she grilled him on what he understood of females in general.

"What makes a female happy, in your opinion?"

"It's a very limited one, mind you." He clucked his tongue at her.

"Well, even if it is limited, it is a nevertheless, important opinion," Cagalli grinned. "What kind of gifts usually make girls happy?"

He smirked at her, and she tried to ignore the frisson of excitement pooling in her. No doubt, Athrun could flirt if he bothered, and Cagalli wondered what it would be like to make him lose all his inhibitions for once. "As Dearka would say in that Casanova imitation of his, it all depends what kind of girl she is."

She pushed him onto his stomach and buried her face in his back, enjoying the warm surface of his skin and tracing her fingers near the nape of his neck.

"Oho," Cagalli laughed merrily. "If you've heard with Mr. Elsman had to say about the subject of skirt-chasing, I think your opinion is hardly limited, Athrun." She winked slyly at him. "Even if it is a bit of a second-hand opinion, and even if the most you've ever done to make a gift is to design an annoying bunch of haros."

"Hey!" Athrun protested. "Lacus likes those, alright?"

"You imposed those mechanical nuisances on her. I bet she felt so bad about rejecting those that she tried to name them to cultivate affection for those." Cagalli pointed out. "If Mr. Pink for a pink haro is an inspired name, then-," She snorted, "Inspiration must be as stale as it comes."

His lips twitched as he turned his head slightly to look at her. "Don't be cynical- that's my job. Besides, we were about thirteen, so I think it's perfectly normal to make things like that, or even to name it the most obvious sort of name. I think she probably labelled it for convenience's sake, not because it was a matter of affection."

Cagalli grinned. "Are you sure you looked at her face carefully when you presented her with a round ball that pretends to be cute?"

"If she likes noisy, slightly off-putting disco balls with extendable hands in those crazy colours, it's not a matter of my taste but hers!" He pretended to look insulted or maligned but came off chortling instead.

"You designed a bird that chirps with less life than me after an eight-hour marathon conference." Cagalli told him cheekily. "Although its one redeeming merit is that it chirps to remind you that it is supposed to be a bird."

With that, Athrun pinned her to the bed, rolling over her very neatly, and tickled her. She cried out in mirth, her eyes widening as she struggled and giggle, his laughter ringing out as well. When he finally listened to her pleads and her begging him to stop, Athrun arranged held her in his arms again, still laughing breathlessly.

She giggled again, looking up at him with little guile that her question might have actually held. "Did you get ideas for those gifts from your parents, Athrun?"

Athrun shook his head, his smile looking a little more hesitant. "Not really, unless you count the fact that I thought Kira wouldn't be allowed to keep pets like me either, so I made him a mechanical one. But where gifts were concerned-,"

He looked away, smiling slightly. "My father never really was a romantic sort of person." He smiled wryly. "If you consider making slightly strange toys as being romantic anyway."

"Chip off the old block then," Cagalli smiled, kissing his cheek. "I bet your father didn't even have to try hard to get everyone in the queue."

He tried to share her cheerfulness, but found himself telling her about what he'd observed from watching his parents as a child. "I'm not really sure it was like that. What makes you think he could get the girl even if he never subscribed to the conventional flowers?"

"Well, you're here, aren't you?" She said gently, stroking his face with her hand briefly. "You told me he was feeling pressured to settle down and show the world he could succeed at building a family even while his career was already very established. And that's why he married and had you. But I don't really think it was all about that, Athrun. Call me an optimist as you probably think I am where your father was concerned, but I think he must have worked hard in his own way to make your mother love him."

Privately, he wondered why the conversation always ran to things he had tried to hide away in the recesses of his memory. He had to be careful, Athrun reminded himself. It would not do to reveal too much to someone who was as reckless as her.

"It's funny you should say that. Have you seen what my mother looks like?" Athrun asked her soberly.

"Only in a photograph," Cagalli commented, remembering the very elegant looking woman whose smile was quiet and dignified like Athrun's, with the same hair, eyes and finely-chiselled features. "She looks like you."

He nodded, gazing at Cagalli and playing with a lock of her hair. As far as he could recall, nobody had ever commented that he looked like his father. Of course, many had assumed or even argued that his character was more like his father's, if only because the man had shaped him that way.

"Everyone says so." Athrun shrugged. "I must agree too."

"How'd they meet?"

"He caught sight of her at a Plant university she was studying in."

"Were they students together?" Cagalli said interestedly. "A college romance maybe?"

Athrun shook his head, a half-smile on his face. "Of course not. He was much older than her. She was a teaching assistant in Sociology, and finishing her doctorate at that time. Of course, she never got to do that because she married my father, who basically pursued her relentlessly until she caved in. After that, it was motherhood straightaway and she never even set foot in that university again."

He looked wryly at her. "Well, let's not go into the details of that and what I found out from his diaries. Those were part of an inheritance I'm not sure I should have received."

The diaries he'd received from his father's estate when he'd returned to Plant after being virtually banished from Orb had gelled his resolve to go to the Isle. If he had wanted a chance to forget the past for a while, then the diaries were even more of an incentive.

While Athrun had wanted to make a present and future that was vastly different than what his father's had been, he'd wanted to hold onto pieces of his father's thoughts that the state had labelled as dangerous material. That was the dilemma he'd always had in his life. He could have stayed as Alex Dino, but he had chosen to return as Athrun Zala. He could have been Rune Estragon until it was time to collect the price for his service to Plant and Zaft. But he'd been tempted to revert to being Athrun Zala with her. Perhaps, he had already given in for most part.

But looking at Cagalli, Athrun knew that she was still mostly unaware of the real reasons for his going to the Isle and even staying there for so long. For now though, Athrun decided, he'd let her think their conversation had no implication on her being here. She would be at ease that way, and she would feel safer with him that way.

Cagalli was tugging on his arm, her curiosity piqued. She was wheedling to find out. "Athrun! Tell me! I want to know!" She grinned self-consciously, realising how nosey she was being, her voice becoming a bit hesitant. "Only because I never knew my birth mother and father, so-," She shrugged. "I always wondered what made her love someone who ended up using his children in his experiments."

Drawing her even closer to him, Athrun looked at her, smiling softly. "Alright, I'll tell you. But I'm afraid that it'll disappoint you. It certainly wasn't some fairytale. Apparently, she was running late for a class and was cutting across some quadrangle field. He was passing along with his whole entourage- he was an up and coming politician by then, and he was only there at the university as a seminar guest of some sociology class to discuss his recent paper."

"What was that paper about?" Cagalli stared at Athrun, wondering if it was some kind of message against the Naturals. Her thoughts must have showed on her face, for Athrun shook his head.

He managed a smile, even if it was a wan one." I know what you're thinking. No, it wasn't like that- even to my surprise. I went to track the paper. It contained the key argument that Natural-Coordinator relations could exist, provided policies pushed harder towards that and made those sustainable by not retaliating if there was any grievance."

She was stunned. "W-Wait-, I thought he was always an opposition to Siegel Clyne-,"

"He wasn't always against Naturals, you know." Athrun said bitterly. "I think he blamed himself for wanting peace to the point of the Junius Seven incident. He used to make impassioned speeches that retaliation was not going to maintain Plant's relationship with the Earth Alliance. There was opposition to his and the then-chairman's ideals of course, but he shot down every single of those for a very long time. That's how Lacus and I became engaged." He smiled ruefully. "Not just for political alliance, but because our fathers had been very good friends and comrades even, until my mother got killed and my father's views veered to the opposition against Siegel Clyne's."

He shook his head a little. "I'm not sure my father was entirely wrong when he decided that Plant couldn't be a walkover and sacrifice people just for the sake of maintaining relations. Before the Junius Seven incident, the Earth Alliance sent out propaganda everywhere, persuading the Naturals that Coordinators weren't human. But Plant refused to retaliate with force because of Siegel Clyne and Patrick Zala."

"I never knew," Cagalli said shakily, clutching at Athrun's shoulders as she gazed at him. "I didn't know your father was so misunderstood-,"

"I bet you didn't even know of the time when Plant got news that the Coordinators on Earth were being rounded up and shot in the more extreme areas, even before the war broke out. So many Earth Alliance members were closing their eyes to it. Plant didn't even demand they stop their massacres, but pleaded that they try and understand the Coordinators who were living in Earth Alliance territories." Athrun looked very morose.

That had been the backdrop to which Siegel Clyne had decided to form the Numbers and to create an asylum within Scandinavia, which Clyne was familiar with. After all, Siegel Clyne was of Scandinavian descent himself.

That place had become the Isle. Now, Athrun looked at Cagalli, shaking his head a little as he summarised the details of the diaries he'd obtained.

"My father remained strong in his belief that one day, the Naturals would understand the Coordinators, especially the second and third-generation ones who were born Coordinators because their parents had made the decisions for them before they could even decide they didn't want their genes meddled with. My father used to be very adamant that if Plant remained peaceful, the Naturals would wake up one day and realise we were just as human as them and wanted to live peacefully, given that we were already far removed from earth and up in space."

"I think he regretted supporting Siegel Clyne's peaceful ways and how convinced he was that he'd found someone who could change the world with him the very day he pledged support for Chairman Clyne's foreign policies."

"After all-," Athrun said sadly, "He eventually came to believe that my mother had died for the peace he'd selfishly fought for. It wasn't just rage and hatred that made him betray the ideals he'd once argued so hard for or merely political manoeuvring to have Lacus' father and his one-time colleague and friend assassinated. It wasn't just revenge that made him plan the Genesis, Cagalli. It was his own guilt."

Cagalli could not bear to hear anymore. She buried her head in his chest, her breathing shaky. She hid her expression from him, but even while the sorrow threatened to swallow her while, Cagalli was glad that Athrun had opened himself to her on this. Even if he'd already lost the ability to feel anything but numbness where his parents were concerned, she would now share that burden.

A quiet smile touched Athrun's lips as he stroked Cagalli's head. Listlessly, he gazed around at the room. That she would feel pain for him was something Athrun found redemption in, even when he knew he had no right to ask her to sympathise with his father. But if she could, Athrun thought brokenly, she would understand why Athrun had to do all he had done over the seven years. If not today, tomorrow, then at least one day.

She was already accepting him- slowly, but most certainly. The room remained proof of that. While she still kept out of this room in the day, Athrun was aware that the room was showing incremental changes now. The window had been opened, the paper on the table used along with the pen, the sheets warm because they both occupied the room at night, and there was even a pot of tea she'd brought in from her room.

It looked vastly different from the time she'd never entered. Since Athrun had favoured the study before this, this room had certainly not seemed like his. Now, it seemed like theirs.

And yet-

He gazed at Cagalli, who'd stilled. Gently, he pulled her up to him as she closed her eyes, snuggling up to him, rubbing her face tiredly against his neck. He ran his hand gently through her slightly damp her, pulling the sheets over them.

Soon, she was fast asleep because was emotionally spent, and he watched her still, savouring the moments when he could see her at complete ease. Her hands were small and fine against his chest as she clung a little to him, embracing the warmth of his form, and he kissed her forehead quietly, thinking of the years that had gone by.

Even if he would destroy her eventually, even if he would betray her one day, even if he would have to sacrifice her despite him being honest with himself and knowing that he still loved her, Athrun knew it was enough that she was with him now.

Even if he would never have her completely, Athrun told himself fiercely, this was good enough. As she had said, this was good enough.

---

In another bedroom, the windows had been opened to let in the air. It gave the room a great deal more light and a freshness that Lacus was thankful for, and now she leaned back, savouring the few minutes she had left with Kira.

The baby was a small bundle, its hands in mittens and its mouth mewling quietly. Cradling her child to her, Lacus gazed at Kira, her expression somehow proud and silently overjoyed. But there was a kind of grief in her face too, and Kira could sense it. Protectively, he wrapped his arm around her as they sat in their bed, watching as their newborn son nursed with his eyes still closed.

"I don't want you to worry." Lacus told him steadily. "We'll be absolutely fine."

"I know." He admitted. "But I can't help it. I want to be with you both, and it's taking a chunk out of me to know you'll be alone here when I return to Orb in-," He checked his watch, fighting back his sigh. "-in a few hours' time."

He cast his eyes on the things he'd packed, lying in a corner of the room.

She smiled for him. "You can't help many things, but for those you can, you must. And you can help Orb now. I trust you to do that. I'm sure Cagalli does as well. Besides, I'm not going to be alone. They're coming to visit soon."

Kira stroked their son's tiny head gently with his curved palm. "It's surprising that Shinn came back from Panama. Still, I'm glad he's going to be around, even if I won't get to meet him or Lunamaria." He shook his head a little. "I haven't seen them both in ages."

"Rest assured." Lacus said tranquilly. "The three of them promised they'd keep in contact with you and I promise I will too. Shinn will take lots of photos and get them over to you, and it'll be almost like you're here with us." Her smile dimmed a little. "Almost."

He smiled wryly. "Almost here is the best I can do for now, it seems. I'm sorry, Lacus."

Her eyes softened. "Go on then. Have you packed everything?"

Kira nodded, standing up reluctantly and moving to the chair where his coat and luggage was. The baby seemed to sense the absence of his hand and shifted a little, but Lacus placated it almost immediately, hushing it with tiny, soft pats of her hand against their son.

His expression was firm but she knew he was pained inside. He had explained to her what he was going to do upon returning to Orb, and Lacus had agreed that it was the only way, even if it did seem a bit wrong.

"That's the most you can do for now." She'd told him.

"I wonder if I had the right to tell her that she was changing into a completely different person." Kira said soberly. "Back then, when she made those decisions. I'm making those now. The same ones she chose. The very same ones."

As she watched her husband leave, Lacus wondered if her old fears were becoming part of reality once more. This had been what she'd always been afraid of in the Second War, and those doubts had plagued her each time she'd been forced to be apart from Kira.

When she'd given him the key to unlocking the Freedom once more, she'd known exactly what she was unlocking. She'd already seen the anger dart in his face when he'd pushed her to safety from the assassins, and she'd seen how strangely calm and remarkably composed he'd been when he'd asked her to give him the Freedom. She'd seen that glazed, unnatural silence in his eyes and now, she knew it was similar to the transformation that was taking place in her husband. Orb did not know her pain.

Even now, as the door closed quietly and a few silent tears fell on her hand that she'd placed to prevent them from spilling on the child, Lacus knew if was only a matter of time before Kira would become the person she was afraid of seeing- a person who believed that he had nothing more to lose.

The baby began to cry suddenly, and vexed, Lacus cradled it in her arms, rocking it, trying to hush it. She gazed at the clock some distance away, and wondered if Kira would understand that every minute felt like a year.

In her consternation because she couldn't understand why the child was crying when he had not soiled his diapers, Lacus could only hope and pray that he would stop soon. She smiled, making chirpy noises at it, trying to be calm and trying to feel like she was in control. Surely, mothers were supposed to put their children at ease?

The baby was thankfully not screaming- the boy was quite a quiet one. Still, it was sobbing and Lacus tried to keep her voice patient and soothing as she continued rocking it. Then getting an idea, she got up, leaving the child on the bed for a minute as she fetched from toys that Kira had bought.

Lying next to her son, she rattled the toy, and the baby stopped crying to gaze at it in what was clearly an expression of interest. Giggling with a bit of relief now and feeling infinitely less frazzled, Lacus scooped Leon up and cradled him once more, still using her other hand to dangle the brightly coloured toy before the child.

Her arms were beginning to hurt, but it didn't matter. Exhausted but with a determination that surprised even herself, Lacus managed to soothe the child, and fell asleep even as the time ticked by.

Outside that bedroom, the world went on.

A dog outside the estate whined for its owner who had yet to return from work, and a cat a few metres away lay in a gutter, ill with sickness and weak with hunger. It would die in a few minutes. A passer-by ignored it, rushing on his way to meet his colleagues for lunch, feeling a bit guilty. If he had the time, he would have normally brought it to a vet. That was just a few bus stops away. Three kilometres away, two children played with toy soldiers and one lost his temper and stamped on the other child's toys, making his playmate burst into great, heaving sobs. From the benches, the adults rushed by, both quarrelling like their children now.

In that same city of Plant, the council was welcoming guests to their new embassy. Two blocks away, a couple were signing their divorce papers and discussing the custody of the children. And in the flat below theirs, an old man was fumbling for his keys. Next door, a young woman had received her first bouquet and was jumping on her bed for joy.

In the same city of Aprilius, Lacus lay in her own bed, with her son. In her dreams, she'd returned to a place she could not identify or quite recognise, except that she knew it was a place of happier times.

---

Later in the day, Cagalli challenged Athrun for Ko's sake.

Their breaths were laboured and painful, and she could see sweat beading at his forehead. She knew it because she could feels hers as well.

He was waiting. She could see it in his eyes. That patient, killer-instinct was a direct opposite of her almost-defensive aggression. Cagalli glanced at him and saw that he was holding his own wooden weapon in a way that suggested slightly less ease than what she'd expected. He was probably more used to a knife, Cagalli supposed.

"I'm going to- collapse," She panted, her smile "I don't think I- can win-this- this-,"

He was breathing heavily too, and Cagalli was not sure if had gone easy on her or was equally spent as her. From the looks of it, it was the latter, even though she was quite sure he wasn't going all out even if he had something to lose. Or maybe, she considered, he didn't think of it as something to lose.

She frowned, thinking of Ko, who was cheering for her. For once, he was hoping his teacher would lose.

"To your credit," Athrun said in a slightly breathless voice too, "I never thought it'd take this long to finish. You're quite persistent."

"Only because you won't give up and roll over," She said exasperatedly. "You know there's no way I'm as good as you. I don't really see why I have to do so much just to t-,"

He cut her short by leaping at her with a sudden violence and speed that took her off-guard. Cagalli only just blocked his attack in time and hissed, "No fair!"

"I'm glad you caught onto reality." Athrun said evenly, slashing fast now as he moved forward and she was forced to defend herself at every point. There was no fixed pattern to how he was attacking, and she was relying on pure instinct and her vision. She was afraid to blink, for Athrun would surely take advantage of that moment.

And because she decided she couldn't keep retreating, she launched into her trademark recklessness.

Grasping the wooden sword now, Cagalli cried out as she charged towards him. He began charging towards her too, his eyes locked onto her hands, his body lighter and lither than hers could move. As least, it seemed that way when it was she feeling the ache and groan in her muscles and the weight of her soles taking the impact of the floor.

From the diagonals of the hall, their swords clashed, and Cagalli found herself slashing in the air at random, knowing that she was already losing control of her grip.

Somehow or the other, she managed, by sheer force, to knock away at Athrun's weapon, even though he'd attempted that first. Ko broke out into cheer.

Panting with excitement and surprise, Cagalli pointed her weapon at his face, grinning.

He shrugged.

"I've won," Cagalli whooped. "You didn't think I would, did you?" Her eyes sparkled with the glee of victory, and Athrun allowed himself a small smile. "Now you'll have no reason not to bring Ko swimming this afternoon."

He looked away for a second, turning to the boy who was seated on a bench. Ko was staring, wide-eyed, at the woman who'd bested his purportedly-invincible teacher. "I suppose I must keep to my word."

She turned around to Ko, giving him a thumbs-up. He returned it, and she couldn't help laughing and calling out in jubilation, "Well, get your swimming things ready!"

He sprang up with excitement and dashed out of the hall, probably to fetch Pepita as well. As Cagalli mopped at her brow a little, grinning at the dust trails Ko had probably left behind, she realised that Athrun was silent.

As she turned around, Cagalli felt a chill travel through her. Athrun was holding the wooden sword between her eyes.

The stare in his eyes was a disquieting one, and she stammered, "H-Hey. I thought it was over-,"

He smiled a little, even though his eyes were still lacking warmth. "You've improved, haven't you?"

Cagalli paused, considering this. He had been teaching her for the past few days, along with Ko.

Despite Cagalli being rather well-versed in the basics of attack and defence, thanks to Kisaka and the lessons that she'd forced out of him, Athrun had honed those skills.

He was a patient and observant person, she realised, and those traits favoured him as a teacher. He'd agreed to teach her how to increase her speed and suddenness of attack through some tricks at her request, and she'd often lingered behind even when all the aides had left to be taught by Athrun.

Some days ago, he'd insisted that she practise her shooting skills. Naturally, Cagalli had been reluctant to for reasons she could not verbalise, even if Athrun probably knew what these reasons were already. Moreover, he'd handed her a small pistol she was less used to than a long-range rifle, even when Cagalli had told him of her preference.

"I know you're already adept at the long-range sort." He'd told her, the halls empty save for them and the targets at a very close distance today. "But not for the close-range shooting."

"It's easy, isn't it? Cagalli had scoffed. "Near is easier than far, and if I can handle the long-range kind, I certainly don't have to practise when the target is right in front of me."

He had shaken his head, promoting a look of surprise from her. "You're not good at close-range firing. I know. I survived your close-range firing more than once."

"Oh!" She'd recalled the first time they'd met when he'd still defeated with only a knife, the second time when she'd fired and thrown the gun away at the same time, and even on the SS Rafael, when she'd wound up shooting herself. A small blush crept onto her cheeks. "Those were fluke incidents-,"

"No." Athrun had interjected, looking firmly at her. "Close-range shooting takes just as much or even more control and mental strength to get the accuracy you need."

"Well, I don't really need it," Cagalli had shrugged. He'd looked at her strangely, with an expression she couldn't quite place, and she'd relented. "Alright- since it's a free lesson."

He'd only smiled then. A quiet, tender smile that had made her think that he insisted she learn something she didn't already know because it would give him more time with her.

For that reason, she'd put her heart into learning how to shoot accurately at close-range. Along with that, Cagalli had learnt how to increase the impact of her physical attacks. What had been a single lesson had turned out to be a series of it.

As she had thought in the past, Cagalli considered, physical attacks were not useful when the attacker was right in front of her with a gun. But looking at the silent Athrun and what he'd taught her, Cagalli now knew that putting the element of surprise in the physical attack could help her. He'd repeated himself on that quite a bit, and while she'd thought of it as a good pedagogical approach, Athrun had seemed to emphasise it for a deeper reason.

She pursed her lips, thinking of the way he'd still managed to pin her down with nothing except a knife and his experience of attack and how he'd moved quickly to a cliff to ambush her from above. He had taught her how to aim at close range and to fire without hesitation. But what had he emphasised this so much for?

While she couldn't find an answer, at least the new skills had served her well in helping Ko earn an afternoon swim in the sea. She'd asked Athrun if she could bring Ko for a swim, and he'd replied, "Only if you defeat me."

"Athrun, why don't you put the sword down and come with us?" She said nervously. He only looked at her wordlessly, and she shivered a little. "Uh- Athrun,"

"If you are in a fight," He said softly, so softly and so suddenly she thought it was her imagination, "Don't show mercy. Or hesitation. You must kill if you are threatened, without any thought except your survival."

Her lips parted in surprise, and slowly, he lowered the sword. Her heart was pulsating madly, and she knew her throat was dry when she managed to squeeze out some words. "Why-,"

He suddenly grabbed her into his embrace, shaking his head slightly. In his heart, he knew why it was vital that she learn how to fire without hesitation if the attacker was right before her. Even if he had to force her to, Cagalli had to recover from the fear of shooting with the intent of killing. If what Shinn had told him was true and more frequent than he'd realised, then Athrun had to ensure that Cagalli would know how to protect herself. She would have to do so in the near future.

And without understanding why, without having to know the reasons why, she hugged him back. That was the trust he knew he'd established with her.

At the worst possible time however, Ko rushed in and skidded to a halt. The pail and spade he had in his hand, presumably for sand-castles, swung aimlessly in his grip. Pepita however, continued barking and running around his ankles. Ko looked at them, his jaw wide open, and then he smiled, a wide, happy beam that lacked any guile an adult would have had.

Embarrassed, Cagalli let go of Athrun, sneaking a sheepish glance at each him. He smiled at her, then at the giggling Ko, but Cagalli could see that there was a hidden worry behind it.

"Come with us," She requested, taking his hand and offering her other one to Ko. "All of us can go, can't we?"

Athrun wondered how he would broach the subject of him leaving for a week. It wasn't a matter of him being able to up and leave and come back when it was done. It was now a matter of him having something to look forward to returning to. It was a strange, almost unfamiliar experience he'd never quite had on the Isle, but looking at Cagalli, he understood why.

Ko grabbed his hand now, and the three of them were effectually a circle.

Athrun gazed at both of them, relenting. He could make Tom wait for an hour, Athrun supposed, smiling a little at Cagalli and Ko.

"I'm supposed to be slogging my guts out at work." Athrun said ruefully.

Cagalli grinned. "You're supposed to be."

He smiled. "I suppose staying for just one more hour wouldn't hurt."

"No." Ko echoed this eagerly, "It can't possibly."

They were going for something like a swim near the beach when Ko was supposed to be practising his sums and essays and Athrun was supposed to be in Prague. But he wanted to be with them.

Looking at Cagalli and her conspicuous absence of questions, he knew she had put her trust completely in him. And that made Athrun feel some guilt. While he was under a duty not to reveal anything, he'd already thrown away so much obligation to Zaft and Plant in return for Cagalli that it seemed wrong to keep so much from her.

But he could tell Cagalli later, he supposed. He would, eventually. Everything had to be said at a certain point, that Athrun knew. Gazing at the child and Cagalli, he wanted it later rather than sooner.

---

The Orb president was standing tall before the judges and the members of parliament. His hands were shaking a little, although his voice was firm and steady enough.

Standing next to him, Kira could only hope that the Orb president would not suddenly be possessed and refuse to go along with exercise of power that Kira hoped for.

It was necessary, Kira told himself firmly. Even if it meant he was keeping information from people when they deserved to have it, at least the media would be better controlled. How else would he be able to establish the continuation of trust he required to run Orb, unless the media was prevented from making wild accusations and making him seem like the villain here?

"We have thirteen yeas and ten nays," the president announced. "And therefore, Kira Yamato, Proxy of Orb, has permission to enact clause seventeen, section twelve-two of the Conferral of Powers Act. His intended actions of putting every form of media under scrutiny of the Internal Security Council and for any form of media to be prohibited at the same council's discretion are both justified and constitutional."

The mutterings rose into conversations that Kira heard nothing of. Standing before the crowd in this room and knowing that there were the crowds that had probably milled around and were waiting outside the chambers, Kira felt exhaustion tear at his nerves. Bearing it with the thought of his child and Lacus, he nodded briefly and stepped out of the room, bodyguards trailing after him.

Even those would not help him, he thought curtly to himself, as he reached the steps of the Parliament house. As the doors were flung open, the flash of a thousand bulbs went off simultaneously, and the world reduced to madness and sound.

"Proxy! Comment on what you were afraid of when you enacted th-,"

"Sir! Sir! Look over here!"

"Mr. Yamato, when can we expect the Orb Princess to be b-,"

A reporter shoved past the cordons and stuck a microphone under his nose, shouting a question that Kira heard only half of. He ignored it, making his way forward steadily, a bodyguard leading him to the car that waited. Kira did not have to observe it to know that it was bullet-proof and that even mobs would not be able to get in.

From where he sat, Shinn leaned forward, peering at the telly. Lacus was talking to Lunamaria in her room, and Meyrin was taking a nap in the guest room Lacus had directed to upon their arrival. In the meantime, Shinn was keeping up with the news and what Athrun had instructed him to do.

Taking the camera in his hands to review the shots he'd obtained, Shinn smiled, thinking of the child that had looked at him and clutched his finger when he'd offered it.

"You know," Lacus had said quietly. "I wish Cagalli could be here. And Athrun too."

Shinn had fought back his surprise. "Why Athrun?"

She'd looked back at Shinn sadly. "He's the godfather of this child."

Amidst the jostling crowds, Shinn could spot Kira on screen. The commentator was screeching something Shinn promptly muted.

He rubbed his face, imagining the thousands of people fighting to speak to Kira, fighting to be heard, fighting to air their opinions on whether Kira Yamato's decision was justified, and fighting in general.

He yawned a bit, not from boredom but his jet lag that was making him a bit woozy as he'd only just returned from Panama. But as it was, Shinn had obtained that glimpse of Kira Yamato, and he knew that Athrun had been correct. Kira was turning to be more decisive and even more ruthless, if one could call his decision that.

"Atha," He muttered. "Kira's on your scent, that's for sure."

---

The sounds of bells in the distance made Athrun frown. But the steeple was far away, and they were in a distant room, far removed from the town square. The outskirts of Prague were almost ruins by nature and by the war's aggravation to the once-magnificent structures, and the small inns that offered lodging charged little and had few guests.

Still, Athrun wondered if someone was listening next door. But Epstein was pacing outside and periodically checking the two neighbouring rooms to ensure nobody was in there eavesdropping. All three rooms, including the one Athrun was in, had been checked for bugs.

Erik Strumsson looked vastly different from the last time Athrun had seen him. He had lost a great deal of weight, looked even more gaunt than before, and seemed nothing like what Athrun could remember from the photographs.

"We've located your wife." Athrun told him, but only after they'd locked all the doors, windows. While it was a bit stifling in the small place, Athrun found it did not matter. "She's definitely not with Greyfriars. He swore to me that he had nothing to do with her disappearance."

The purportedly-dead man who was the Scandinavia and Swedish Crown Princess' husband sat up. The life was returning to his face. His eyes lighted up and he demanded, "Then where is she?"

"She is still within the palace." Athrun told him quietly, hushing Erik. "Locked up. But we think she is unharmed, even if her condition is already weak. She will probably be used as a political figure head to rally Scandinavia to fight when Orb enters, despite the agreement that Orb has the right to enter once the sixth month has passed completely."

Erik's fist made contact with the table. "That bastard! She always doted on him!"

"The King's not healthy." Athrun informed him as well, recalling what Sheba's aide had reported to her and then reported to Athrun. While all guards save a few had been ordered out of the palace, a kitchen boy could still be disguised to stay around there. "And he won't last very long. Nobody knows what will happen when he dies. But we have to be patient and wait to see."

Erik look despondently at Athrun. "Remember when we dined with Greyfriars? I knew that they were targeting the Orb Princess. Naturally, I thought they'd targeted Freja next. I didn't know-," His expression broke but he tried to control his emotions immediately.

Athrun looked away, thinking of the dinner they'd had those months ago. He'd put on the impression that he was reluctant to meet Cagalli on the SS Rafael and bring her back to the Isle during that dinner. However, as Rune Estragon, he'd insidiously convinced Greyfriars he could bring her there with no delay and with as little problem as possible. Even at the start of the dinner, it had been very clear that the group had been keen for Athrun to be the one to meet their target.

He was silent, patiently waiting for Erik to regain his control. Erik was a very proud, strong person, and Athrun knew Erik had been pushed to the point where he could not maintain that façade at every point or moment. Athrun knew, because he was going through a similar experience.

"I even swore to kill Greyfriars if he'd harmed her." Erik shook his head scornfully. "I was thrown off-scent, wasn't I? I had my suspicions, but not this. Not this!"

"He's a monster." Athrun said quietly. He stood up, taking his coat and his cap. "Be careful. You're hiding in this place but they could sniff you out. Beware of everyone- every single person you meet. It's necessary you remain like this- hidden away. I can't guarantee your safety otherwise."

Erik looked at him dully, not saying anything.

In turn, Athrun did not show sympathy to a man who needed none. He left wordlessly as well. As he closed the door, he nodded to Epstein, who had been guarding the corridor. Epstein joined him and they walked down, side by side, moving out of the small inn.

The innkeeper, a little old man, was asleep by the fire with a cat on his knee. He had been bewildered to find guests for his one guest, but Athrun was still wary of this innocuous looking elderly person.

Now, they stepped out into the streets, which were steaming with people even in the distinctively more chilly air. In fact, more tourists seemed to have arrived, and Athrun pursed his lips as he tried to get past a bunch of them while making sure he wasn't pick-pocketed. Epstein did the same as they dodged a man carrying a crate of fruit on his head who looked ready to fall down or drop his things.

"Say," Epstein panted quietly, both of them squeezing past a group of children who were probably part of a syndicate now. "What will happen to Cagalli?"

Athrun did not answer, and Epstein knew to leave it at that. But he knew that his foster parent was troubled. There were too many things he was keeping from Cagalli, Epstein thought to himself. Far too many things.

Watching the back of the man he thought of as Athrun Zala but worked with as Rune Estragon, a top intelligencer for Plant and Zaft, Epstein wondered what Athrun and Cagalli's pasts had really been. Through what he had gathered and seen, Epstein knew exactly what Athrun felt for Cagalli, even if her feelings were not so clear towards Athrun.

Epstein sighed under his breath, keeping close to Athrun as they walked briskly to the yacht that was waiting. As they approached, making sure nobody was following, Athrun noticed the gigantic dog wagging its tail from where it sat on the yact. Even far away, Boarbaki was quite visible. Tom had been waiting for them.

The yacht, despite its normal appearance, would become a submarine-like vehicle once they'd travelled a safe distance away in the open sea, and as Epstein stepped aboard, avoiding Boarbaki, he knew that it was time to act on his own plans.

Athrun seemed to be in a less than fair mood, for he ignored Boarbaki completely, as he did its owner who greeted them enthusiastically and demanded to know why Epstein had brought back only one kebab when Boarbaki would try to share that too.

As Epstein watched Athrun, he wondered why Athrun had chosen to give the Orb citizenship he'd obtained to Kitani Ko. Cagalli hadn't probably even understood half of what Athrun had really wanted when she'd agreed to authorise one.

But if he was lucky, Epstein thought, all would go well. Even if Epstein had to suffer for it eventually by losing the only parent he'd really known, it was time to repay Athrun. Surely, it wasn't enough to merely work for Athrun Zala when the service was in Plant and Zaft's name, especially when Athrun Zala had given up his freedom to ensure Epstein would not have to take over as the Fifth Eye.

He could remember the fight they'd had all those years ago- when Athrun Zala had chosen to extend his contract and therefore prevented Epstein from getting the promotion that Epstein had been looking forward to.

"Aren't your three years up?" Epstein had said sharply. Despite his liking for Athrun, he had been anticipating the moment when he'd finally become an Eye too and risk even more for Plant.

But Athrun had only looked at him in a brittle sort of way and remarked, "Aren't you a little old to believe in the glories of serving your country and a little too young to take on the killing?"

What they had argued about on that day had effectually erased what Epstein understood to be his identity. Suddenly, the parents he'd kept at the back of his mind seemed to become his living shadows, and Epstein had realised exactly why Athrun had been so protective of him.

Thinking back to the past, Epstein smiled silently, drumming out the constant chattering Tom did even when nobody was really listening to him. Epstein had been a staunch, unquestioning solider at one point, but Athrun had changed that too. He would always remember the day when he'd found out that Athrun would not be leaving but staying on the Isle indefinitely. And Epstein would always remember why Athrun had done that.

So for that, Epstein would do anything he could to let Athrun have at least a stab at happiness. Glancing at Tom who was still chirping away and Boarbaki who was whining, then comparing it to Athrun's sober silence, Epstein smiled to himself.

Athrun would approve in the end.

---

If Aaron Biliensky had immaculate taste and knew how to go for things that were intrinsically worth keeping, then he was sure as his name was Aaron Biliensky that James Sean Marlin was not to be trusted. After all, Aaron thought assuredly, staring at Marlin with scepticism, good-looking men were aplenty, and the number who turned out to be scumbags were always the same coincidental few.

Kira was a few rooms away, meeting a few ministers to discuss the plans for how Orb was going to react when the dateline was passed. The meeting had gone on for three hours now, and Aaron was beginning to fret. Kira had only returned from Plant a few days ago, but he was definitely even more swamped with work.

Marlin however, seemed amused and continued drinking his tea.

Frustrated at Marlin's calmness, Aaron glared at him. While he knew Marlin could not possibly meddle with the governance and similar issues, the look of complete composure made Aaron very rattled.

"I'm sorry," Marlin said courteously, leaning forward a little on his elbows to look at the glaring Aaron. "But is there something wrong with my face?"

There was indeed, everything perfect about the man's face- perfect to the point of infuriation. Angular and smooth-skinned, Marlin's cheekbones were killer slopes and his eyes were that intriguing shade that really showed up with his dark, almost-black hair. Aaron bit back the lash that his tongue itched to deliver and forced a smile instead.

"Nothing," He assured Marlin. He couldn't resist a glare now. "But I want you to know that you've put me a spot."

Marlin sighed, his broad, very, very nice shoulders sagging a little. Aaron of course, picked this up and stared at him. Marlin hastened to explain. "Sorry, Aaron. I know I have. Cagalli's going to kill you and me when she gets back."

"Look," Aaron said sniffily, "I don't really care if she's upset with you, but I'm not going to have her mad at me."

"Why?" Marlin said laughingly, his eyes snapping up as he looked at the very uptight Aaron. "Are you in love with her?"

Aaron threw him a scathing look that would have skinned any normal man's face alive, except that this was Marlin and his skin was extremely thick.

"Holy Haumea." Aaron fumed. "I'm gay. Isn't it obvious? Exceedingly? To the point of me being screaming gay? And aren't you too old and too busy for jokes like these? Aren't you bothered at all by what the papers-" He jabbed one elegant but impatient finger at the piles that lay on his desk, "-have churned up? And those statements you gave- those have multiplied and gave birth to whole new stories I could compile a soap opera series on! You know, it's really going to be your fault if Cagalli comes back and has a tough time worming her way out of-,"

"Yes, yes," Marlin interjected, finally able to get a word between Aaron's tirade. "I'm sorry. Truly, I am." He cast a dark eye on the papers. "I didn't expect it to get this out of hand."

"You're dealing with crazy people who worship the ground she walks on," Aaron exploded, rolling up one newspaper as if to threaten a badly-behaved dog.

He marched up to Marlin and smacked Marlin on the shoulder, despite Marlin being significantly taller than him. "You should have expected that from the start! Or at least, when those reporters began the whole, 'ooh-let's-see-who-can-say-Haumea-a-thousand-times-in-a single-breath-right- after-the-words-Orb-Princess' title shtick!"

Marlin flinched a little, shaking his head and smiling helplessly. He took the rolled up paper from Aaron and unfolded it, beginning to read from it.

"This paper reports we were planning to start a family," Marling surmised from it. "And it's the main paper people read too."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "My point exactly. I think you took it too far."

There was a long pause as Marlin got up, stretching a little and then sitting back slowly with an ease that Aaron realised was instinctive and natural. Then Marlin bent forward, a frown on his face. "I don't think so, Aaron."

"Why?" Aaron's tone was sharp. He looked at the good-looking, charismatic figure before him and wondered if it was James Marlin who sat before him or the Britannian Premier.

Marlin shook his head slowly. "I think I know why you are wary of me- more wary than Kira Yamato."

"Let's see you pick at it." Aaron said brusquely. "Why do you think I want to keep you in check with the comments you make about your relationship with Cagalli? Relationship with the inverted commas, of course."

"I'm her friend, aren't I?" Marlin said equally strongly. He was starting to look a bit annoyed. "You think you're the only one who can help her? Then why did you bring me in here and ask me to be part of this elaborate ploy to secure her place in Orb even while she's missing?"

"Because I was wrong, that's why!" Aaron exclaimed. "For Pete's sake, I thought you would do it on account of the friendship, not some other interest I'm beginning to suspect you have! Why are you letting things go this far with the media and what they understand of you and Cagalli?"

"But we have gone through most of what they are writing about." Marlin insisted. "We're good friends, like you say."

"I'm no newly sun-burnt creature that crawled out from under some rock you know," Aaron looked disapprovingly of him. "You better tell me the real reason why you flew over here from London exactly one hour after I called."

The silence that spread itself over the room was suffocating and burdensome. But if Aaron had hoped Marlin would keep his thoughts to himself to prevent Aaron's suspicions from being confirmed as reality, Aaron had been too wishful.

Marlin paused, then smiled grimly. "You want to know, do you? Then I'll tell you. Because I love her, that's why."

Aaron stood up, nearly knocking his chair over in his flustered state. His face showed how upset he was. "You can't!"

"Why can't I?" Marlin challenged, standing up and looking almost defiantly at Aaron. "I'm a close friend to her at very least, and if I had the chance to be near her, I'd prove that I deserve her! All this I'm doing- handling the media's attention, the constant hounding, the politics in Orb and in Britannia- you think I like this?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Why do you think I agreed to do this?"

Aaron shook his head, willing himself to be calm. He prayed that whoever was listening would help him to reason out with this impassioned fool, but at the same time, Aaron understood why Marlin was discarding his cavalier, utterly relaxed disposition and becoming this worked-up. "James Marlin, you listen and you listen up good. I don't care about your reasons for doing this. I'd be an idiot if I didn't expect you were close to Cagalli and wanted to make things closer. But I'd be an idiot if I let you take advantage of the situation I put you in to help."

"Don't be silly Aaron." Marlin said firmly. His eyes darkened, and his expression was dead serious. "I didn't come here to take advantage of the situation. You know I came here because I wanted a chance to prove myself- even if she may or may not see it right now."

Aaron softened a little, understanding the turmoil Marlin as going through. They'd all been in love once, hadn't they? Aaron could empathise with that at very least.

Marlin's eyes narrowed. "But you know there's a trade-off for everything in life. There's always a price to something. This is the price of you bringing me in to help. You knew this was the price- you knew I loved her from the start, even if you told me that you were only roping me in because I seemed to be the closest to her outside Orb."

"I didn't think you'd really take this chance as a payment for helping Cagalli." Aaron said quietly. He dragged his hand tiredly down his face. "Even if I knew that everywhere, there was a price to something. I guess I really was a fool. An idealistic idiot."

He laughed soberly- bitterly, even, looking straight at Marlin. There was no contempt in Aaron's face, only sadness. "Before you said admitted all this, I thought that loving someone even unrequitedly, especially her, was not a matter of price."

And Marlin's face paled as he sank back into the seat, wearied as if he'd run for a long time and without a single moment of rest.

---

The next day, they went swimming again. If she had thought of Ko as a child who wanted affection, now she thought of Ko as something of an extension of herself. He was a bright, adorable child who faced everyone with innocence and a cheerfulness that Cagalli loved. While Ko was ultimately a child and children were generally open to becoming close with others, she couldn't remember when she had felt such affinity with another child.

The water splashed against her face, and she laughed merrily, splashing some back. Ko waded to Cagalli, his fair skin bright under the light and his expression telling of his happiness. The boy swam faster than she could move away, and he was suddenly clinging to her like a koala in the water, the sea sprays against their arms and necks. She laughed, hugging him tight, feeling how virtually weightless he was.

At the shoreline, they'd built two gigantic sandcastles. Ko had decorated his with seaweed and shells, and Cagalli had cordoned off hers with driftwood. They could still see the monuments and Ko's pail and spade from where they were paddling in the water.

Pepita was running in zig-zag lines, up and down the shore, barking madly at her master. Ko hadn't allowed her into the water because he didn't want to have to bathe her later, and he'd sternly told his pet to wait.

Ko was chattering without a single pause, and listening to him made Cagalli think of Pepita, who was an excitable little puppy like her master too. The way his eyes sparkled and his cheeks were flushed with his activity made her grin.

The way Ko looked at her however, made her think of his mother. Harumi had looked at her with the same trust, and now Cagalli wondered if the weight was actually greater than what she had been conscious of.

"And then," Ko was saying enthusiastically, "Mr. Estragon took out this big box-," He let go of Cagalli's waist that he had hugged tight before, only to demonstrate the box's width, "And he told me I was ready for some responsibility. That's how I got Pepita!" He promptly hugged her again in his irrepressible joy and his abundant youth. "I think he knew I always wanted a pet, and he got one for me on the sly. I want to give him something too, for his birthday!"

Cagalli stared, eyes widening. "Birthday?"

"It's coming soon," Ko chirped. "Epstein told me. He and the twins are planning a surprise party, and they are discussing it in their spare time." He grinned bashfully at her. "Now you're in on the secret too!"

"Do you always give him something for his birthday too?" Cagalli asked curiously. She had never presented anything to Athrun for his birthday before, nor had he. They'd never quite celebrated anything like that, she realised, but she dismissed the regret that she suddenly felt.

"Last last year," Ko revealed, "I got him a bookmark! Epstein taught me how to carve it, and I made it as thin as possible!," He looked proudly at her. "But I didn't have enough time and it was a bit thick, so he uses it as a paperweight."

Cagalli chuckled at Ko's obliviousness to his failed attempt at creating a bookmark, and ruffled his wet hair affectionately.

"And then," Ko continued excitedly, "He assured me it was very useful and said it was one of the nicest things he'd ever received! So I think he really liked it!"

She laughed with him, enjoying the stories he was telling her of Athrun. "And what about Epstein, Ko? Do you like him as much as Mr. Estragon?"

"He's awesome too," Ko said loyally, looking at her without a hint of guile in his face. "He can do all sorts of difficult Math problems- he teaches me and the twins and he never needs any kind of electronic device to do the sums for him!"

"That's incredible, "Cagalli agreed, "I was always terrible at Mathematics."

"But Mr. Estragon said it was a necessary evil," Ko said innocently, widening his eyes and nodding because he believed everything Athrun had told him. "Like many things in the world. He told me to be careful of many things too."

She paused, considering whether she was doing anything wrong by hoping to get answers from Ko. Athrun trusted her not to take advantage of the boy's naiveté, didn't he? But what she was doing, Cagalli assured herself, was merely getting to know Ko better.

"Ko," Cagalli said gently, "What did he tell you to be afraid of?"

He pursed his fine lips a little, blinking owlishly and trying to recall what Athrun had said in the verbatim form, Cagalli supposed. She was correct. He grinned at her, saying without hesitation, "He said to be careful of the people who are closest to me."

"That's interesting," Cagalli commented, even though she felt her heart sink. "Wouldn't that include everyone you love?"

Ko nodded. They bobbed about in the water, a bit like corks floating aimlessly on the sea's surface. "He says that if you care for someone, others may take advantage of that and use that care against you. Or worse, the very people you care for may turn against you one day. He told me that you always have to make sure you're prepared for that day, and that you will know how to protect yourself when that day comes."

Her eyes regarded him gravely. So Athrun had been teaching this boy how to survive in so many ways, and she grieved the loss of that childish innocence Ko would eventually go through as the years passed. "A very valuable lesson. Are you prepared for the day he might betray you?"

Ko missed the point of the question completely. He shook his head adamantly, Pepita still howling from the shore. "He'd never betray me, Cagalli."

"Why not?" She said in surprise. Had Athrun taught the boy to mistrust everyone except him?

"Because he, Epstein, the twins and my mother are the people who protect me." Ko said with all the conviction he could muster. Coming from a young boy, Cagalli felt a strange sense of gladness overcome her doubts. If hope was foolish, then at least a boy would be happy in his hope and optimism.

"I think Mr. Estragon wanted you to realise that even the people who protect you may be unable to some day." Cagalli said quietly. "And that they may even be people you don't trust at one point."

"Not Mr. Estragon," Ko insisted stubbornly. "When I first came here without my mother, he found out I was afraid of the dark and couldn't sleep. He installed a tiny light just for me, and one time, it got spoilt and I woke up and cried." He blushed a little, a bit embarrassed. "He heard me and came over, and he hugged me until I felt fine and fell asleep."

She gazed at the boy, thinking of Athrun. A small smile touched at her lips, and she scarcely heard the puppy near the shore, the sea and wind, or even Ko explaining in a very flustered voice that he was only afraid of the dark when he had been much, much younger.

She thought only of how Athrun must have held the boy, watching over the child as he'd fallen asleep, letting the boy sob his fears away. All of that had been what Athrun had given her once. She'd thrown it away.

That night, Cagalli found that sleep did not come easy. Tossing and turning in her own room, she bit her lips, then gave up. Morning was almost here anyway.

So she got up, washed up, got dressed, and made her way to the stone tower. As she did, the light of the skies began to seep in, warm and golden, and she thought of Lacus' child. The child must have been born by now. She was sure of that. The birth was something she'd always been worried about, something she'd kept at the back of her mind. Even now, Cagalli tried to focus on the present.

Ironically enough, the thoughts of what she was doing drew a complete circle for her thoughts. There had been the birth of her nephew or niece, and the birth she would never witness. But Cagalli knew she could at least celebrate the birth of another.

With that, she straightened, facing what she'd spread out.

Even in the past, Cagalli had never given a present to Athrun on his birthday. Nor had he for hers. Both had never considered doing that, because the idea of exchanging a gift would have made them both feel awkward. Nor had it been convenient, since she'd have to find a way to sneak him a present despite him being a bodyguard and nothing more than that.

But now, Cagalli smiled to herself, knowing that she'd be able to give him something. The canvas hung on the wall, and she studied it, wondering it if was a little too small or a little too big. She tilted her head, sketching a little more, and when she was ready, she stretched it out to have a final look at the outlines she'd laid there.

The slopes of the trees they'd seen together would be brushed with a pale yellow first, Cagalli decided. Then hints of blue would creep in as the juxtaposition of both colours created a hue of green that plain green alone would never provide.

She closed her eyes, enjoying the little teasing touches of the wind dancing on her skin and the sound of the distant sea. Her mind was filled with the images of the hills that he'd shown her, and Cagalli could still remember the crunch of leaves beneath their soles and the way he'd walked forward, her eyes trained on his back.

Her lips parting a little, Cagalli strained to remember more. But as she fleshed out the colours she wanted in her head, she heard a sound, and immediately, she spun around, pulling the canvas off and rolling it up quickly.

"You're back!" Her voice was alarmed.

As Athrun took one step into the tower, she rushed to block him from entering, trying to hug him except he retreated just as quickly, clearly unwilling to get the paint on her apron on his clothes.

"Why didn't you tell me when you left?" Cagalli chided him, pulling Athrun by his elbow out of the tower and down the steps. He laughed, allowing himself to be tugged along, and while he peered back curiously to see what she'd been sketching to prepare for painting, he could not see from that angle.

Knowing Cagalli however, she would never want to let someone see something unfinished until she was sure it was presentable. So he went along with it, smiling at her.

Hiding her nervousness, Cagalli began leading him down the corridor to Ko's room. If he wasn't there, she thought quickly, they'd find him in the hall. Either way, they had to make sure that Athrun did not go where he was not supposed to be.

She forced a slightly artificial note of joviality into her voice and smiled at him. "Let's go swimming with Ko. Come on, let's go find him!"

"Hmm." Athrun said non-committally. With a twinkle in his eye and a swing of her hand, she found herself behind him now.

He was suddenly the one leading her forward, and with a small gasp, she found herself being pulled into a separate corridor.

"Hey!" Cagalli protested. "That's not the way to Ko's-,"

"Who said I wanted to go there?" Athrun said, grinning. She looked around the corridor, noticing some familiar paintings and her breath hitched in her throat.

"What do you want?" She said breathlessly, her feet still being made to follow quickly. "You just got back! Don't you want to go to the seaside and-,"

"No." He said firmly. "I don't want salt, sand and sea."

"Then what do you want to do?" Cagalli asked helplessly, hoping that the twins had not gone into Athrun's room to plan what they'd set in there. Hopefully, they were in the kitchen- all of them.

"What do you think?" He said in a sultry whisper, his breath warming her ear as he pulled her close before pushing her into the room.

As he pushed her into his room, his back turned to her momentarily as he locked the door, she felt her heart leap to her throat. Athrun had clearly just come home from wherever he'd been, and he was still in his coat and gloves. The place he had been had probably been cold too, she thought distractedly for a second, but then Athrun turned back to her and pulled off his scarf.

In an instant, he'd pushed her to the wall, pressing her against it. She felt his mouth against hers, his weight something she'd become used to feeling next to hers. Eagerly, Cagalli wound her arms around his neck, glad that he was home, glad that he was equally happy to be back.

"Silly," She whispered smilingly, when they broke the kiss for air. "You thought I'd run away while you were gone?"

"You do know where the sea is now." Athrun said wryly, beginning to locate the knots of the apron she was wearing because she had been painting. "I wouldn't be surprised if you found a way out and made a boat to escape."

"I'm not so reckless," Cagalli protested breathlessly, trying to push his hands away as he chuckled and tickled her a little. Ever since he'd realised that she was ticklish, Athrun had taken great pleasure in making her laugh until tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. "And I promised to stay until you ask me to leave, right? I trust you, so I will stay."

He looked at her intently. "I hold you to your word, of course. But you're a very unpredictable person, and I really wouldn't be surprised if you surprised me." He smirked a little. "If that makes sense."

Cagalli chuckled, letting him kiss her neck and bite a little as she eased him out of his coat. He tried to stop her, but she did it, and Athrun's eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" She said mischievously. "I'm trying to get cosy. If you won't touch me, that's your problem. But I'll do whatever I like with you."

He took a step back, his eyebrows in danger of disappearing into his hairline. His smirk was amused. "You know, when I took off your apron, I wasn't planning to do anything like that. I was only trying to avoid getting the paint on my clothes."

Sneaking a look on the apron he'd crumpled to the floor, Cagalli blushed a little, losing a little of her boldness. But then she shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I think I'd like to take a bath anyway. You might as well join me." She winked at him. "I'll scrub your back today."

He fought back a laugh for a second, then gave up and chuckled, grinning back at her. She looked at him, thinking that it was a relief he was willing to go along with this.

In the stone tower, she'd been painting what she was planning to present to him for his birthday, and in the kitchen, the twins and Epstein were planning what to prepare for that same purpose. Ko was making his gift in the training hall, and a decoy had been set in the room- a bolster that looked almost like the boy with the blankets thrown over it. For now, Cagalli thought teasingly, she would have to distract Athrun.

In her simple singlet and shorts, most of her arms and legs were bared for convenience's sake, and Athrun's gloved hands running across those evoked tingling sensations as the rough wool with the warmth of his fingers beneath the material stroked at her hands.

Pulling him closer to her to kiss him once more, she ran her hands through his hair, murmuring that she'd missed him. While he did not seem to hear her, his kisses became more demanding.

There was a kind of frustration in Athrun that she sensed. Of course, it had always been there because of the lack of complete fulfilment for either of them, but today, he seemed to be especially rattled about something.

As she led him and pinned him to the bed, sitting above him and unbuttoning his shirt to run her hands against his shoulders and chest, Cagalli wondered if her gentle touches were possibly making him even more flustered.

He was shifting against her and he would not let her hold the kiss to his lips, moving away and trying to gather her into his arms even when she wanted to do more than lie next to him for now. He would surely want to leave and check on the aides or Ko if she allowed him to get the least bit satisfied or even bored with floating around and talking in the bathtub, and Cagalli had to keep to the plans all of them had made. And so, she writhed against him while he kissed her, tempting him, but refusing to let him pull her singlet over her head.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to be in the bathroom?" Athrun said, his eyebrows raised as she wrestled with him for his shirt. Fighting her off with a smirk, he took the opportunity to pin her down now and ran his mouth to her collarbone. The exercise had made her scent stronger, and he could feel her pant against him quietly. "Not wrestling like this. Are you going to let me see you or not?"

"That's in the bathroom," She pointed out. "When we have to be undressed anyway."

"Then let's go now." He looked at her amusedly.

"We might as well stay here for a bit," Cagalli said faintly, thinking that it would buy the aides more time to plan. If Epstein came to find her in the stone tower, he would realise that she'd flung aside the canvas and pick up on Athrun's sooner than expected return in time.

He began to argue. "But you won't let me take that off y-,"

"It's on the way to the bathroom anyway." She chuckled and reached to the border of his shirt and tugged it open completely, pulling it off now as he lifted her to sit up and felt her slide her cheek against his chest.

Murmuring her name, he scooped her up and without waiting to here her further protests, carried her to the bathroom. He stopped only to kick the door open, and nodding at how the bath had already been drawn, he deposited her in it.

As she stood up in the bath, sopping wet and complaining about his rough handling, Athrun laughed, taking more care with his clothes as he undressed and then joined her.

"Couldn't you have waited for me to undress too?" Cagalli demanded, raising her arms as Athrun peeled the wet cloth off her torso, shivering a little because of the water evaporating on her skin.

He shook his head, grinning. "I did. I am a patient person, you know."

"Like hell you are," Cagalli teased, grabbing the soap and lathering her hands before she began washing at his shoulders. "You took all of five minutes to get me in here."

He chuckled, running his hands brazenly against her back and then trailing them to her waist and lower. "Isn't that proof of my patience? A man with less control would take about two minutes."

She snorted. "Enough of that tomfoolery. Turn behind so I can-,"

Athrun cut her off, kissing her possessively. She struggled for a moment, then relaxed into his arms as he found the soap in her hand and took it, lobbing it aside, his mouth still seeking hers hungrily.

Her hands around his neck were sliding, slippery and moist against his shoulders now. Cagalli could feel his palms cup her chest, and achingly, she pressed herself to him, wanting to tell him something she could not quite find the words to. Even when they spoke in the water later, and continued their conversation as they laid side by side in his bed, they spoke of the things that did not matter. She found herself unable to tell him what meant the most.

She never did that night- not even when he turned to her and told her that he'd be going off again, and would only return in three days' time.

---

The next day, they began their preparations.

Before he'd fallen asleep last night, Athrun had told her that he'd be away for three days, and Cagalli was quite sure that he would not return before that. So now, the air hung thick and heavy with smells and scents, and they were all hard at work. Hopefully, she thought with a grin, Athrun would not arrive too soon. The surprise had to be a success.

"More salt," Epstein ordered. He pointed to the broth that Laplacia was stirring. "I think that one's a bit bland."

She laughed, grabbing the ingredients she needed to correct that.

Cartesia deftly kneaded some flour for rolls, and she called over to them, "Is the oven ready now?"

The kitchen was filled with sounds and glorious wafts of sugary scents, and the perfume of the pervasive smells hung heavy and welcoming. They were hard at work, and in the past hour, they'd already completed the decorations.

Laplacia had picked flowers, Cartesia had readied the table, and Cagalli had served the food that Epstein had prepared. All those were with covers in preparation of the next day's celebration, and Cagalli was eager to see how it would look as a spread on the table.

Meanwhile, the twins and Ko were baking a cake, and Epstein was trying to ensure that Pepita did not get in the way. Cagalli watched with amusement, beating some eggs with vigour, and she called to them, "Does anyone have vanilla essence?"

Ko ran to her, holding some, and she grinned her thanks and let him drip some in. The flurry of activity was very pleasing to her, and Cagalli understood that the aides and Ko were approaching the surprise with great enthusiasm. Laplacia called for help at the other end, and eagerly, Ko scampered towards her.

"Will he like what we're doing?" Cartesia said suddenly. Her eyes widened fearfully. "I'm not sure if…" She trailed off, looking downcast suddenly. "What if Miss Cagalli is wrong about how he'll like us celebrating like this?"

Epstein shook his head, assuring them all as he closed the door, effectively barring Pepita outside. "He will, trust me. Even if we've never done this before, I think we've got good reason to do so this year." He grinned, looking at Cagalli, who was distracted and therefore did not notice what he'd just said.

In the meantime, Cagalli looked around, furrowing her brow a little. "Ko? Can you get me the flour?"

"Here!" the boy piped up, already near her waist as he held up more flour. She grinned and squatted down to him, wiping a dab of white off his cheek with the apron she'd borrowed. "What are you going to give him this year?"

Ko's smile split from one shell-like ear to the other. "A collage made out of dried flowers and leaves!" His face shone with his joy but it suddenly dimmed a little. "I'm not sure if it will fit in his study though. I'm not allowed in there, and I don't know if it's too big or too small for the wall. I used the training hall to gauge."

Gazing at his concerned little face, Cagalli had to laugh. She ruffled his hair affectionately, kissing his forehead. "Don't worry- we'll get Epstein to check okay?"

Listening to this, Epstein wondered if Cagalli realised what he was planning.

She was bustling about, mixing the cake batter and he grinned, thinking that the apron suited her marvellously. There was cosiness to the atmosphere, and the sounds of the semi-conversations springing up between them peppered the place with sound.

Ko took over the mixing while Cagalli went to check the oven. Calling over to him, he then hurried to her while she fetched the baking tin.

"Is a round shape or rectangular one better?" She wondered.

"Round!" Ko said with great conviction, while the twins called, "Rectangular!" from the other end. Cagalli began to laugh, holding up both shapes while Ko tried to convince the girls that the round one would be easier to divide into six.

"I don't see the logic," Cartesia argued. "You, me, Lacy, Miss Cagalli, Mr. Estragon, Epstein," she looked at Laplacia who nodded. "That's six! It's not an odd number!"

"But that's the point! Whether odd numbered or even numbered, a circle can be cut into as many pieces as you need!" Ko insisted.

"Cagalli," Epstein spoke up and entered their conversation suddenly, "Would you like to go to his study to help me?"

She looked up from in surprise as Epstein came towards them. "What for? And I'm allowed to do that?"

"I heard you say you were trying to measure something too." He alluded to the conversation she and Ko had shared.

"I can go in?" Her eyes revealed her doubt.

"Fine, fine." He conceded with a dimple appearing in his cheek. "I'll bring you to his study if you promise not to meddle with his things. Just have a look around and maybe-," He paused, "You'll find inspiration for a gift too."

"Of course," She assured him hastily. She thought of the completed painting that lacked a frame. It was only half-assembled because she hadn't had time to assemble all the twigs she'd collected so far, but Cagalli knew she could finish it in time and fit it in nicely if she got a look around at the study. "I promise not to touch anything. I only want to take a peek to get- you know, a general feel of what he likes and where he'd probably put the painting. I would be horrified if he didn't like the present I was planning for him."

He grinned at her. "Anything you give him, he'll cherish. He's that sort of person."

She looked at him with a slight pensiveness he noticed. "I hope so."

Ten minutes later, they were sneaking into Athrun's study, unlocking it with the keys Epstein produced from his pocket. Apparently, those weren't enough, for he was using his handprint to get in too. She watched as he pressed his palm carefully to a corner of the door, the exact corner that seemed to be exactly like any bit of the aged wood. As the door unlocked, he pushed it open and she traipsed in after him.

While Epstein seemed familiar with this place, she certainly was not.

Fighting back a gasp, Cagalli whirled around, looking at all the tall bookshelves and all the neatly-stacked files. The table was massive, nearly obscured by stacks of more files and papers, but she knew not to look at those.

"I understand." Cagalli told him, turning back and then focusing on the rest of the place. While airy and very well-kept, the place was distinctively aged and she suspected Athrun did not bother to repaint the walls or to upgrade it.

It remained this way, a queer juxtaposition of the old and new, and she could imagine Athrun sitting here, working. Unlike the room he had given her access to, this place seemed to have had a person living in it.

"This room has been used for a long time, hasn't it?" She whispered to herself. She told herself that this was where she would find what he was really like- what he could really be like.

"Of course," Epstein agreed. "But it wasn't anyone's fault that this place became so rundown. It was just over time."

Cagalli smiled warmly. "I think I understand. My study-," Her eyes crinkled as she lowered her head, chuckling, "Often got into a mess too. A mess I was suppose to prevent or manage."

Epstein smiled a little, beginning to walk towards the furthest bookshelves at the end of Athrun's study. While his back was turned, Cagalli quickly took some files from the shelves, peering at their labels and flipping to their insides. Despite her promise not to touch anything, Cagalli was too curious, and she suspected that Epstein would not mind too much even if he found out.

But she could find nothing she understood in that file she had grabbed.

As Athrun had said, those were filled with rows of figures after figures that she simply had no clue about, save for the neat labels that still only provided her guesses at best. And even then, the labels were in code and her guesses were vague. From what she could guess, they were figures of businesses.

She bit her lip, remembering the things Athrun gave to his aides and her each time he returned. Surely, he had been out of the Isle. Were these businesses situated outside the Isle, and were they the main reasons why he was always off somewhere?

Yet, Epstein chose that moment to turn around, and hastily she shoved it back and faced him with red cheeks. He clucked his tongue at her as she lowered her head guiltily, and then he said, "I'll pretend I didn't see that. Now, tell me what you're looking for so you can get a good gauge of what to give him, and I'll try and help you find it. Of course-," He added, "He'll like anything you give."

"I don't know that really," Cagalli admitted. "I want to understand him as a person beyond the fact that I want to give him a gift. But I don't know where to start, and he never really tells me what I mean to him either."

He paused, and she thought she saw him go still. That moment passed quickly, and he turned. "Well, I have some photo albums you might want to take a look at. Stay here a bit and I'll fetch them. They're all the way at the back of this room. You can look at these in the meantime." Epstein reached somewhere and took out a photo album that had been hidden by the stacks of files Cagalli would not have thought of peering behind. As she crept behind Athrun's seat and occupied it, Cagalli began to flip.

There were pictures of a much younger Epstein was grinning from those, one with him in the garden, hugging a gigantic black dog that Cagalli had never seen before. It resembled a bear. As she gazed at that particular photograph, she spotted the marmalade cat sulking at the back. There were also pictures of the twins as very young children, the two at a window and holding a private conversation with only their eyes as one of them, possibly Cartesia, was attempting to climb a chair with a cleaning cloth in her hand.

There were no photographs of himself with them, but it seemed Athrun was somewhat of a secret shutterbug.

"Pity I can't get him a new camera." She remarked, glancing around. Epstein was already some distance away, although he turned to look when she spoke.

Epstein, knowing how these photographs were taken as opposed to the usual ones from the cameras that were installed in the house, kept silent, but smiled a little.

From what Cagalli could see however, the pictures seemed to have been taken without the subjects' notice. The naturalness and spontaneity in the angles made Cagalli sure he had viewed them with love to have even wanted to freeze those moments of his wards.

"I suppose he gave up trying not to love you and the twins." Cagalli said boldly.

Epstein's eyes softened, but he said nothing, resuming his steps towards the shelve furthest along the room.

And it was certainly a massive room. Epstein was busy trying to fetch some other albums Athrun must have concealed in this place, and in the mean time, she flipped through.

But then there was a sound and Cagalli whirled around.

"Oh!" She heard Epstein cry out, and immediately, Cagalli stood up. Poking her head next to the bookshelf she was at, Cagalli saw Epstein clutching his foot.

He had, quite comically, stubbed his toe against something. And laughing helplessly, Cagalli hurried over to him, getting him to sit down on a nearby stool.

"Ugh." Cagalli said cheerfully, coming towards him. "Don't you hate it when that happens? But you're wearing thick boots- shouldn't hurt too much."

He cracked one eye open and winced. "Darn that crack."

She turned slightly, casting her eye on a small worn away corner of the wooden floorboard. "Now how did that happen?"

"I wanted to avoid stepping on that," He told her glibly, "So I tripped and stubbed myself. It's the boot that hurt me, Cagalli. I stubbed my toe against the inside."

She looked at him in amusement, hiding her laughter behind her hand. "Oh dear, Epstein. Do you want me to take it off and check if you've broken your toenail?"

He demurred immediately, looking quite apprehensive. Perhaps, Cagalli thought with a giggle, he was wearing ugly socks he did not want to show. "Uh- no. No, it's fine, thanks. I'm going to head out of here for a bit and change my shoes- I'll be back soon."

He got up hastily and half tripped, half ran towards the entrance. Cagalli watched him for a second, puzzled at how clumsy he was being, but began to laugh again. There was that light-heartedness that she had enjoyed unconsciously with him, and he seemed to be a younger brother more than ever.

As she stood up, she turned to the corner, where he must have been almost childishly careless. But as she did, she knelt and examined the slight crack in the large wooden floorboards he must have tripped over for some reason. The mental image of him having ended up kicking himself with a bit of the wall's help was so hilarious that she ended up laughing all over again.

Soon, without him around, Cagalli began to get bored. She sat down, cross-legged, examining the crack. It was big enough for both hands to fit in, particularly since she had small hands.

Curiously, she tugged at the edges of the crack with some force, testing if the board was still safe. Had Epstein felt it moving under him and ended up tripping in his instinctive bid to go somewhere safer?

It was firmly stuck, so she tried a little more force. And without meaning too, the entire board lifted away in her hands and she yelped in shock and horror.

Staring at the large but rather thin block of wood in her hands, Cagalli cried, "Epstein!"

He was going to kill her, she thought in panic. He had briefed her on the need to be careful in here, on the need to leave no trace of their presence behind. But here she had gone and uprooted part of the floor!

Flustered, she stood up, meaning to go and get him, find some way of super-gluing the board back with her blood if she had to before Athrun found that she had been around here messing with his things. He would probably grill her about exposing some room underneath this floor, with that particular brand of sarcasm she loathed when he used it on her.

But as Cagalli stood up, she saw that the floor had not merely given way with that particular section. Rather, it was hollow. Or to be exact, there was a passageway, dimly-lit, but clear enough for the winding steps below to be obvious.

"Epstein?" She called again, swivelling to try and spot him. There was no reply.

She turned, hesitating. He had probably been looking for slippers somewhere else, and only she was here in this place.

Yet, behind the bookshelves, a few metres away, Epstein watched her peer down the trapdoor. It had been inevitable, he told himself, that she would have learnt of everything. He was merely making it sooner rather than later. He was not betraying Athrun.

Nor this was any time to be indecisive, so Epstein walked away, quite normally and without any need to pretend anymore. He made sure she would not spot him as he left silently, but he knew that with what she had discovered, there was no way she would not go down there now.

"Epstein?" Cagalli said cautiously, trying not to stare into the impending darkness, as if she were guilty of harbouring thoughts of cavorting down there. At that point, she was still sure he would come to her because she had called for him.

But he did not. Nobody came.

She turned her head back, her eyes searching for him. And Cagalli was ready with an excuse for having opening this panel that apparently, lead to nowhere except down the dark abysses of… well, hell.

Epstein had vanished.

"Is anyone there?" She tried again, aware that her voice was a squeak. And muttering to herself, she took a look around, saw nobody watching her, least of all Epstein, who must have left to get something or the other. And feeling like an apprehended criminal already, Cagalli took one sly foot forward, her toes pointed in a tip-toe position.

"Epstein," She turned behind and tried again, and her voice echoed strangely. It was cold down here, she thought balefully, rubbing her arms. And then she took another two steps down, looking up at the hole she had moved into.

While she wore only a thin white cotton shift, she had found and borrowed one of Athrun's coal-coloured cardigans that certainly served her well. Because of their difference in height and frame, it looked rather like a trench coat from the back, but when she wound it closer around her, she felt even snugger.

"Epstein, are you there?" She looked back, calling for him again as she tried again.

When nobody answered, Cagalli couldn't resist moving down warily, step by step, half praying that Epstein would suddenly pop up, half praying that he busy with whatever he had gotten distracted by.

As Cagalli moved down, the darkness seemed to consume her, and she blinked, a bit afraid that it would be cold and damp, like a dungeon feature in this massive house or something used to breed spiders and whatnot. Instead, the rail she was using felt clean, and the air was certainly not musty. This was definitely not a cellar or a lock-up place for some forgotten skeleton.

Or was it?

She laughed nervously, watching her step.

While she trod cautiously, Cagalli was aware that her feet were now sinking into soft carpets. She bent down and peered dimly, running her hand across the surface. It wasn't grass, as she had half-suspected, or even moss, but a carpet alright. Someone had furnished this place.

Then with her next step, an automatic switch lighted up the place, and Cagalli looked up, blinded for a second by the light, but adjusting quickly because it was of a warm, orange glow that illuminated the sepia room.

There was something familiar about the arrangement of things, and with surprise, she realised that it resembled Athrun's room- their room, as it had become.

But more than that, there were other things that were far more familiar than the mere arrangement of the tables, book shelves and chair.

She gasped, unable to keep the sound from escaping her even when she stuffed her hand to her mouth.

Cagalli stood there, still one step away from reaching the room's level. Had Athrun kept all his things here? Were those things in the upper level of his study just a cover for the things that lay beneath them?

Moving around, although it felt like she was being turned on a mantle as the pictures witnessed her trespass, Cagalli looked at the room that had existed within Athrun's study. There were portraits of people he'd known and loved. These were all pictures of people he'd met years ago.

She could see Kira's boyish face, the two friends with their arms linked. Someone else had taken that photograph, and they'd been prepared for it. There was a picture of Athrun and some other redcoats she recognised, at their graduation ceremony. There was even one of Athrun as a child, holding a scrambling, furiously licking puppy up in his arms.

But others- surely he had taken those.

There was a photograph of a much younger Lacus with strangely enough, hair in girlish pigtails. Her expression was troubled as she sat in a rose garden, a tea cup resting in her hands and her eyes trained on something in the distance. Athrun had caught her thinking of things the world never supposed she would never even have to consider in her privileged life.

There was a portrait of his mother, who had fallen asleep before a fire, a book in her hands and the clock behind her hinting of how long she'd waited for someone to return.

There was one of Patrick Zala, his face half hidden behind the men and women flocking around him, flashbulbs everywhere, the picture-taker one of them. His own son was amongst those who could only view him as Plant's chairman. There were others of Athrun's father too- but none that showed more relaxed moments or of them being together.

Cagalli could not help but stare openly at the faces that regarded her, some smiling, some laughing, some in serious countenance, and amongst all the pictures, at the portrait of a seventeen year old.

It was herself, staring into the camera with something almost like baleful hauteur in the young face, but only because a less discerning eye would not have recognised the slight insecurity and shyness in her eyes. There was something magnetic about the smile, something immutable and innocent that betrayed the sophistication her gown and her posture was beginning to achieve.

Like so many of his subjects, Athrun had taken this photograph of her without her even knowing it. She had looked at him without thinking of him as Athrun, but another person in the crowd before her. And yet, she had looked straight at him, and he had caught something that no other photographer in the crowd would have thought of capturing.

Feeling slightly guilty for coming in but quite fascinated by this room she had found within the room, Cagalli explored nevertheless. It was an oval shaped room that saved any confusion of having doors by having had only one entrance- the one she had entered from. But there were other doors leading from this room, and she peeked into one, and then sidled in.

In this compartment of the room, there was nothing but files. What was it with Athrun and his fastidious filing? She would have to get him more files and bookshelves for a gift, Cagalli thought amusedly to herself.

Now, she began tiptoeing to gaze at the files that were neatly stored and tagged. Like his study, this room was neat, and she giggled privately, meaning to tease him on his studied obsessive, compulsive disorder when it came to books and things like that.

The glass cases gleamed at her, and she stared, blinking at how many files there were in there. There must have been some code to them, she mused to herself, for this basement and even this storeroom within the basement was no different than his study. Athrun would have certainly been an outstanding librarian- or nanny, she thought with a laugh.

Was this another private room of his? Some kind of storage area? But the latter was impossible- it was too well-maintained and too clearly used to be a place where things were merely stored.

And with some growing realisation, Cagalli noticed that even this storeroom looked nothing like his study. There was a more personal touch in this hidden room, in a place that was already hidden from the main study. This storeroom bore signs of even more frequent usage.

There was a cushion on the chair, ruby hangings that gave the room warmth, and even a slight untidiness on the table with the pen and papers scattered all over it, as if someone had just been in here and had worked there.

Some books were lying on the table, as if that person had left before putting them back on the shelf or standing them up properly. And amazed, she stared at the books and recognised those as books she had once seen him carry in boxes when he had come to live in the Atha Estate as Alex Dino.

Compelled to look at more, she moved about the rather spacious storeroom, glad she had taken off her shoes. Because the place was carpeted and she had felt the urge to feel the rich furs against her skin, she had pulled off her shoes and left them on the last step of the staircase. And Cagalli began to explore.

As she did, she told herself helplessly that it was wrong to pry, but her curiosity had been certainly whetted by then.

"All I'm doing," Cagalli tried to reassure herself, "Is just finding out what he really thinks and what he would like to have for a gift."

She should have stopped there, but she had already gone too far. The next bundle of letters she opened confirmed her doubts. She found letters Patrick Zala had written to Athrun's mother. While his mother had written delightfully detailed descriptions of Athrun learning to read and write with things she deemed the milestones, Patrick Zala's letters had been briefer and distinctively more business-like.

Cagalli opened them up, feeling like a convict for prying into his past. But she could not shake away the awful feeling that her present and his past were too connected for her to pass up this one chance to understand. Moreover, Cagalli had found a pathway into Athrun's mind.

How could she give up on that now?

And so, she continued to read Patrick Zala's letters.

Often, they were almost inquiries to check about their well-being, inquiries on whether Lenore needed more to run the household, whether their neighbours had children who 'are the sort my son doesn't need to mix around with."

And in yet another pile, a much thicker pile than the other one, there were letters his father had addressed to the mother. Those had been returned time and again to the fifteen-year old Athrun in his recruit-camp, when the postman had failed to reach the destroyed Junius Seven. The dual stamps of 'delivered to alternative message' haunted her as she turned the envelopes over in her hands, wondering if he had been just as haunted.

She bit her lip, trying to understand how Athrun must have felt upon receiving letters his mad father was sending to his dead wife.

In the second drawer Cagalli decided to open, she found no letters but a single, worn diary that had only withstood the years because of its superior binding quality. Hadn't Athrun spoken of his diary before? Hadn't he looked so hesistant each time he'd told her of his relationship with his father?

Her heart throbbing in her throat, she opened it and saw immediately that it had belonged to Athrun's father. He'd told her of his father going mad, and curiosity piqued, she decided to look through it.

In it were schedules, thoughts and little reminders- a schedule-planner, really. But the dates printed in it told her that there had been a year in which nothing had been written.

Was it likely that Athrun's father would not have meticulously planned his days for a whole year? And eagerly, she flipped on, but found nothing except blank pages. It looked as if he had lost this diary and started another.

Yet, as Cagalli turned page after page, the writing began once more. And with shock, Cagalli read the sudden prose that had seemed to explode from a tip of an unsteady hand-held pen.

The writing was still in short-hand, hastily scribbled and not as neat as she would have expected Patrick Zala to be. But if he had seemed too busy to write slowly and carefully because of his busy schedule, the thoughts were now random with no structure whatsoever.

And with a mounting fear that blossomed in her, Cagalli saw that he had written out plans to meet Lenore for lunch, plans to take her to visit Aprilius, where they had met in her university. Biting back her gasp and knowing that her pulse was racing, Cagalli flipped to the back and stared at the year's worth of empty, unwritten days.

Beyond that were the plans of Genesis.

Rough little points, random and dropped like burnt moths from lethal lamps, but fleshed out as the pages went by- into the reality that Cagalli sometimes had nightmares about still. And beyond those, there was so much more! Patrick Zala had long made plans to restart Genesis, and with growing horror, Cagalli understood the supplementary plan.

"My son will be the trigger. If my tactics of force will not work for Genesis, he has even more ability than me in persuading others to follow what we both believe in. He has been trained well. He will be my voice and my hand. Nobody can change his mind or his conviction. It is enough that he lives for me even when I die."

She read silently, her pulse throbbing as if she had been poisoned and her heart was weakening. Cagalli flipped furiously, as if her life depended on it, which was probably true.

There, his name again. Athrun. And again. And there again. Athrun. And there! There was her father's name!

She began to read the thoughts in earnest, trying to understand. While fragmented, there was a certain bull-headed, almost single-minded clarity in their intent.

What had she really understood of Athrun and Patrick Zala? If she had thought she understood, Cagalli knew she'd been fooled by Athrun. All he had revealed was very little, really, not even when Athrun had told her what he thought at times. That was all linked to the way he'd hidden so many things about her being here, particularly the exact reasons as to why he'd brought her here. But now she understood.

Fighting back her anguish, she tried to remain steady.

Where the Genesis was concerned, all Cagalli could think of was how a plan had failed and how a kind of a catastrophe had been avoided. She'd never quite realised that Patrick Zala had been counting on his son as part of those plans right from the very start. She'd never quite realised that her presence by his son's side had prevented the outcome that Patrick Zala had spent a great deal of his years working towards.

But now, Cagalli understood what she was here on the Isle was here for. It didn't matter who lived on it or what Athrun was doing here- all that mattered was that she was put here for him to use her as a pawn in the way his father had planned for her own father.

The difference was that Athrun Zala could sense she was emotionally attracted to him and had found ways of becoming closer to her, going as far as to ease a promise that she'd stay from her own lips. He'd effectually carried out his father's plans for Genesis, even if in a slightly different fashion as to what Patrick Zala must have expected.

He'd made use of her. He'd realised, after a while, that it was easier to make her stay because what was making her so desperate to leave was that she still loved him. He'd convinced her to accept that attraction, he'd created a situation where she'd tried to use him while knowing that she'd certainly fail. And in doing so, he'd made her promise to stay because that was part of what he wanted to achieve- his father's plans.

Cagalli stared at the plans, sinking to the floor as if she had been sapped of all energy. At the back of her mind, she was wondering how the brilliant mind had produced such fragmented work which was nonetheless brilliant in itself. The signs had been clear all this while, but the diary proved it.

When Patrick Zala had began to include Lenore Zala in his diary schedule, along with the plans to secure Genesis and to groom his son should Genesis fail, Lenore had already been dead for more than a year.

Her head was filled with his voice, even though she had only heard once in person when Patrick Zala had lay dying. He had been still so sure of his hatred then, that he had died while begging his son to trigger the Genesis.

The expression of hope within the hopelessness as he had looked at his son with his eyes, glaring upwards into constant and permanent blindness, swam in her head. He had never forgiven Athrun for betraying him and his plans for his son.

Hadn't Athrun admitted how guilty he felt to Cagalli about this? Hadn't Cagalli seen how he'd been quiet even after they'd abandoned his father and left his body there too?

She thought of how Athrun had kissed her just hours ago, how passionately he could seek her and make every fibre in her seem to wilt or live for him. He could make her agitated with a single word, make her smile with his silence, arouse her with a mere flick of his eyes to her face, make her laugh with his own laugh, make her believe he wanted to understand her and not let her think she was a mere conquest the way so many others had viewed her-

But those were lies.

Gaining momentum now, Cagalli looked around, staring at all the files neatly arranged in shelves now. She pulled out file after file, flipping and flipping, reading the clipped sentences, comprehending at first, then more and more certain.

"I'm supposed to trust him," She told herself desperately. "But how do I?"

Each austere black file looked no different from the rest, the label was plain and without a single number. Yet, it wasn't alphabetically arranged- as if someone had pulled it out, checked something in it, and had been called away before he could put it back properly. Naturally, it was more than enough to make her pull it out and flip through it.

But as she opened the next one, not meaning to do more than flip through it, her eyes widened. The information in the first page was enough to set her heart racing, and frantically, Cagalli flipped to the next page and the next.

And as she came to a particular page, she cried out, as if blinded, and involuntarily dropped the file.

It fell to the floor, spilling photographs and sheets of paper everywhere. Amongst those were pictures of her in a dress she only recalled wearing once- a few years ago. And there were all the other pictures of her after the Second War, pictures of her at meetings, at various functions, even the glimpses of her face through the car window as she had driven into her house. A camera had snapped all of this. She had been followed and trailed by him.

The records were precise and detailed. Those even noted what kind of weapons she carried around, as if someone had known that on a particular Saturday afternoon, Cagalli Yula Atha had slipped pepper spray into her bag for protection when she'd gone out to meet some friends.

On another day, someone had known that she had been due to send her car for annual maintenance. Here, the exact time and place had been recorded. The person who'd written this down had planned where she'd be and known her habits, and even how her car's doors locks could be switched.

The records went on and on- day after day, week after week. Those had started since four years ago. The betrayal was more than she could bear, and she began to tremble. Why hadn't she been told by anyone? And how could Athrun not have told her of this when it had meant so much to her?

There were letters within these records. Letters from Greyfriars- who was that? Letters with instructions that had been copied out in Athrun's own neat, disciplined hand.

Instructions for Cagalli Yula Atha to be killed in Orb.

Athrun had been watching her even beyond her knowledge, and he had been involved with the incidents she'd mistaken as being entirely coincidental and harmless.

Now, she grabbed another file. Inside it was not information she had expected to find about Athrun, but information about his father. Why would everything correspond so perfectly if it wasn't linked in the first place?

With doubt growing as a cancerous spread of pain and fear in her, Cagalli felt a warm tear fall from her cheek. "What a fool I've been." She said brokenly to herself.

Everything that Patrick Zala had been planning was written inside here, and remembering the diary she had only briefly looked through and the letters she had mostly ignored, she snatched them over now and began to read them simultaneously.

The photographs around her glimmered in the light, reflecting her face with their glossiness. A ten year old Kira was waving at the camera, Athrun's arm around his shoulder and vice versa. Pictures of redcoats graduating, Athrun's smiling face amongst them, and a portrait of Athrun's parents caught her eye. She whirled around, trying to understand, trying to accept that he had a room within his room, beyond her.

Frantically now, she moved to drawers of letters she had first opened in this room. She had not opened the last drawer yet.

And with a force that came from her shock, Cagalli tugged open drawer after drawer, pulling out envelopes of clipped out articles. All were connected to her in some way or the other. Kira's correspondence, Lacus' well-wishes. Everything was chronicled. Mana, then Kisaka's retirement, even Aaron's new promotion.

Everything was connecting. With shock, she saw everything was there- his actions concerning her, how she had been persuaded to trust him, and even the records of what he had achieved all these years.

The materials lay in a circle around her, although there was nothing protective about its circumference. On one side, there was the diary he'd annotated and developed into full-fledged plans her presence here on the Isle was supporting. Creating a war between Naturals and Coordinators wasn't difficult, as Patrick Zala had realised a long time ago.

All one had to do was spread suspicion between Orb and the Earth Alliance, and once they attacked each other, Plant could take both down quite easily. Patrick Zala had created a massive weapon for the sake of coercion, but at the same time, he'd created another weapon that was more lethal because it was more insidious and malleable, more persuasive and compelling to others- his son.

The plans Patrick Zala had for his son spoke not of fatherly love or pride, but of ambition and hatred. The diary was clear in representing that, for each mention of Athrun's achievements and the plans Patrick Zala had harboured to make his son the pilot of the Freedom was explicitly tied to the Genesis.

All this while, Athrun had been compelling her to stay, reminding her of the memories she'd locked away for so long. And for what? Who knew what really lay beyond the Isle, and who knew what would happen when Orb decided that six months had passed and it was going to war no matter what?

Cagalli looked at the other set of letters chronicling the attempts made on her life, along with the files Athrun had compiled of her daily habits and with information that could show a way to strike at her weakness. If Patrick Zala had been aware that her father's assassination would start Genesis as effectively as triggering the weapon would, then Athrun Zala had taken over his father's wishes.

All this time, Cagalli thought wildly, he hadn't told her of why he felt guilty when he thought of his father at times. He had actually been hinting at her role in this, and she'd never quite grasped the true meaning of it until today.

This was no private room of his, she thought in dread. This was more than a private room- this was a room he planned in- a room he kept his information and resources in. Information he'd used against her. Crying out, Cagalli stumbled out of the storeroom, still holding some files and the letters she'd pulled out.

As she tripped, the things went flying across the floor and carpet. As she looked up, panting, the faces in the pictures seemed to mock her- even her own.

But then it became obvious that Cagalli must have remained in that room for longer than she had meant to. Certainly, she had learnt more than she had wanted to.

There were footsteps approaching, and panicking, she looked around, looking for an escape, but found none. Then a voice behind her spoke from where he must have stood at the stairs, and she flinched. Standing on the steps, his shadow was cast over her and she knew that he had become a stranger once more.

"Enjoying yourself?" Athrun said drolly.

---

2 months. 15 days.