Deerpaw took a deep breath, holding it as he meticulously pulled the leaf wrap from the small hole where it was stored. He gently unwrapped it and observed the leaves inside.
Tansy… and some catmint. We'll need those soon.
He pushed it to the side, slowly reaching down into the storage hole again. "Cloudcover? Don't you think we're a little low on burnet?"
He glanced around, then sighed as he realized that the dark ginger medicine cat was not in the den. She always seemed to be somewhere else nowadays. Deerpaw guessed that she was in the leader's den again, talking to Ivystar.
What could possibly be so important that she would spend most of the day with her?
He felt the tip of his tail twitch in annoyance, but he forced himself to calm down. It wouldn't help any cat if the medicine cats were snapping at each other. He would just have to wait and see.
Then he found himself wondering how many lives Ivystar had left. She had been leader for a very long time, after all. Three? Maybe two?
He jolted from his thoughts, shaking his head. Focus!
He pulled another leaf wrap out of the hole, a little larger than the last one. He already knew what was in this one, so he set it aside next to another one just like it. He placed the tansy and catmint leaf wrap back into the hole and covered it up with some leaves, just as he heard brambles swish behind him.
"Deerpaw?" Cloudcover's meow reached him, and he found himself breathing a sigh of relief.
"Oh, hi." He straightened himself out, licking a paw. "How are things going along with Ivystar?"
He saw Cloudcover's yellow eyes darken before she turned away, not wanting to reply. Typically, he would have let this go, but he was curious, so he pressed on.
"Is something wrong?"
"It doesn't concern you. You need not bother yourself with this."
Deerpaw raised his chin. "Anything that concerns the welfare of my Clanmates, I have the right to know, just as well as you do."
Cloudcover glanced around nervously. She took a deep breath, then exhaled it in a loud huff. "Something is wrong with Ivystar."
Deerpaw reeled back, blinking. "Wait. What sickness is this, exactly? Is it severe? Will she…"
"It isn't anything serious or life-threatening." She paused. "Not yet at least. For the past couple of days, she's been slowly finding it harder and harder to move her legs around. Today, she couldn't even get up anymore."
"Maybe it's just her stiff joints. She's getting old, after all."
"Apparently not," Cloudcover meowed flatly. "She says she's lost control to her legs."
Deerpaw almost bit his tongue in shock. "But… why haven't you told me any of this?"
"I thought it was just fatigue," Cloudcover explained darkly. "She did, too. To me, it didn't look too bad. She could still walk around, although a little slowly, and she actually got to arrange the patrols yesterday."
"I don't understand... I... she actually joined us to the Gathering a half moon ago," Deerpaw mewed, licking his whiskers.
"Which is why I thought everything was normal." She sighed. "I'm still praying that this isn't what it seems."
"Maybe," Deerpaw said, but he couldn't keep the tremor from creeping into his voice.
He was scared for ThunderClan's leader. They needed someone like Ivystar, especially through seasons like this, where there were few warriors, and kits on the way.
"I got our packs ready for tonight." He changed the topic, pointing with his tail to the two leaf wraps on the side.
"Good," Cloudcover mewed, then walked toward her nest; her pelt brushed against his as she passed him. Deerpaw watched as she curled up and fell asleep almost immediately.
He turned to look at the gray light filtering in through the brambles, finding himself more troubled than he probably should have been.
. . .
Deerpaw lapped up the traveling herbs in the leaf wrap, squinting a little at the taste. He shook himself out and stepped out of the den into the clearing outside, tinted a dark blue. A silver half-moon shone brightly overhead.
He inhaled deeply, releasing it in a huff. It only slightly alleviated the heaviness in his head. He wasn't able to sleep the entire afternoon, and now he was regretting it.
He turned around to see Cloudcover push out of the den after him. She quickly took her spot in front of him.
"I'm going to ask the other medicine cats tonight if they had any patients with this kind of condition," she mewed tentatively.
Deerpaw just breathed in another gulp of air, not able to find a reply. He gazed around at the cats around, most of whom were eating. Dread flashed in his eyes.
Ivystar, we need you. Stay strong. We'll do our best to make sure you'll be.
Suddenly, Warmpaw walked in through the camp entrance, and his tail lashed once before he disappeared into the apprentice den. Deerpaw noticed Archpaw abandon her squirrel and quickly walk into the den after the black-patched apprentice.
Deerpaw's brow furrowed. Something was a little off with Warmpaw; that much was what he had noticed for the past few days now. From the way he was acting, it seemed like he was keeping something. Something that was bothering him.
When he mentioned it to Cloudcover, she just shrugged, mentioning that young cats like him had bad days. That even Deerpaw himself had days where he didn't want to listen to anything she said.
But why did this seem different? He just couldn't quite explain why. Maybe Archpaw knows.
Moments later, another cat walked into camp. Goldenfur's eyes were dark as he strode through the clearing. He was heading for the leader's den.
A jolt of fear ran through Deerpaw, making him rise to his paws, ready to stop the ginger warrior. Redstep got there first.
She looked Goldenfur in the eye with an equally serious stare. "Anything you want to tell Ivystar, you can tell me. She's busy."
Deerpaw blinked at the sight. Did Redstep know about Ivystar's problem?
Goldenfur's tail flicked towards the den Warmpaw entered earlier. "Well, you can tell her that I'm donewith him."
"She knows her decisions. I'm sure Ivystar wouldn't approve of your request."
"I said I'm done!" Goldenfur yowled.
Deerpaw was acutely aware of the cats turning to witness the scene. The noise had attracted a few eyes on them. Redstep's eyes hardened warningly at Goldenfur.
"Quiet down, and then we'll talk. Follow me," she growled, stalking away. Goldenfur followed her. They were heading for the warrior den.
Deerpaw started to follow when Goldenfur snarled back at him.
"Don't even think about—"
"Anything we say, they have the right to know," Redstep meowed. "Cloudcover, Deerpaw, you can come along."
The four cats walked into the beech den, which was rather spacious by itself, especially now when most of the other warriors were out eating or on the dusk patrol. Only Flyingfeather was inside; his eyes fluttered open when he noticed them.
"Huh…?"
Redstep dipped his head at the senior warrior. "Sorry to bother you, Flyingfeather. Goldenfur has something to talk about with us."
Flyingfeather spotted the two medicine cats just behind her, dipping his own head in understanding. "Seems like something important. I'll leave, don't worry. I was beginning to feel a little hungry anyway."
"Again, sorry to bother you," Redstep called after the sable tom as he walked out. She shook her head a little. "Again, where were we?"
"I no longer wish to be Warmpaw's mentor. Give him to someone else."
Redstep slammed her paw down forcefully. "Ivystar trusted you enough to give you an apprentice of your own, and you agreed, didn't you?"
"I did so because I didn't want to be embarrassed in front of everyone."
"What makes you think you won't be embarrassed now?" she shot back. "She trusted you, Goldenfur? You're just going to claw that trust back at her face? Don't you realize that that's what you're doing?"
Goldenfur stepped back slightly, and he seemed to look slightly hesitant for a heartbeat. He lowered himself a little to the ground.
"I can't believe this. Warmpaw was a bright little kit, eager, excited. That was until you became his mentor. If anything's wrong with how his behaviour is right now, and if that's why you're quitting on him, then congratulations! That's your fault."
She rolled her eyes. "If it were up to me, trust me, I'd honestly pick pretty much anyone else apart from you to train him. I would have loved to train him."
"You don't understand," Goldenfur meowed, turning his head away.
"Oh, Ivystar understands. She isn't blind to what's happening in this Clan, and she knows you more than most. She knew how distracted you were back then, so she gave you something to work with; a responsibility. She gave you Warmpaw, because she wanted you to learn to forget the past, and accept how things are now."
"What if I can't forget?" Goldenfur's voice was a whimper-snarl. "What if I can't move on?"
"You have to learn." Cloudcover mewed, placing a tail over Goldenfur's shoulders. That seemed to soothe the agitated ginger tom, his spiked fur going down.
Redstep fixed him with a soft look. "I'm sorry, Goldenfur. Swallowtail is gone, and I don't think you should do this to Warmpaw just because he's her son with another cat."
Goldenfur seemed to be affected by her words, digging his claws into the earth. "Ivystar doesn't know what it's like. Whenever I see Warmpaw, it's like I'm seeing Swallowtail all over again. It's like I'm seeing her orange eyes, sparkling at me. And…I see a little bit of what might have been, if Swallowtail and I had ended up together."
"Then I look at Warmpaw's pelt, and I feel like tearing him to shreds, because I know who gave him that pelt, sleek and black-patched. It's like… fire, rushing through me, and I start to lose control." He trailed off, then looked pleadingly at Redstep.
"I-I don't want to hurt my apprentice. Please, for me and for Warmpaw, pick another mentor for him."
The den was silent for a moment. Deerpaw's throat felt a little dry, hearing this. He had never really understood Goldenfur until now; why he was treating Warmpaw the way he was. He had been holding back, not wanting to get too involved with Warmpaw lest he hurt him.
"Both you and I know that Swallowtail wouldn't have liked this." A deep voice rumbled behind Deerpaw, and he swung around to face it.
It was Flyingfeather, and Deerpaw guessed that he had been listening all along.
"She would have expected you to see Warmpaw as his own cat; one that has his own story."
Goldenfur's head lowered. "I-I…"
"You're fairly young," Flyingfeather said. "Acceptance comes with time, and if you can't find that now, then so be it. But just know this; if you really loved Swallowtail, then you would try and understand her son."
He raised his head. "Grant his request."
Redstep blinked disbelievingly, and Deerpaw found himself mirroring her expression as he looked at the senior warrior.
"Ivystar isn't one to reverse any of her decisions," Redstep explained.
"Then tell her everything Goldenfur just said." Goldenfur looked shocked, eyes widening at Flyingfeather's statement. "She deserves to know, but keep it discreet."
"Yes, I know." Redstep said. "She still won't like this. Are you sure of your decision, Goldenfur?"
Goldenfur nodded. "I explained myself already."
Redstep sighed. "I'll tell her tomorrow. She's tired from yesterday, and she has a lot on her mind right now."
That's one way to say it.
"Don't worry, you can go," Flyingfeather rumbled consent to Goldenfur, crouched pitifully.
Goldenfur dipped his head gratefully. "Thank you. I have to sleep." The young warrior rose to his paws shakily, then walked over to a nest in the far side of the den, curling up in it.
Redstep turned to face medicine cat and apprentice. "You two can go, too. Sorry for this, and for keeping you stuck in here. I know it's the half moon, and you have to go to the Moonpool tonight."
"We chose this," meowed Cloudcover. "It's fine, we'll just get going."
"Keep safe!" Redstep called after them as they exited the beech den and pushed out of camp and into the forest.
They paced quickly. Deerpaw thought that it was almost a jog, with how fast they were going. For a long while, they were silent, unspeaking after what they had just heard. Or maybe it was just him who was silent. After all, this might not be news to Cloudcover, who had been medicine cat back when Goldenfur was still a kit.
But to him, this was a revelation. Now he knew a little bit of what Goldenfur went through, and why he was always so different around Warmpaw.
"Can I tell Wa—" Deerpaw started, but was silenced by Cloudcover, who tapped his nose with a tail.
"Nothing will come out. If he wants to find out, and if Goldenfur allows him to, then he will know this in time. Right now, we've got more pressing problems. We need to find out how to cure Ivystar, and there are quite a few things I have to ask StarClan."
"About Warmpaw?" Deerpaw leaned forward.
"Yes. About the prophecy. I'm sure there's more to it, and I want to find out."
Deerpaw looked up to the sky determinedly. "I do too."
"Then we best go a little faster. The moon is almost at its peak."
That silenced Deerpaw, and together, he and his mentor kept their quick pace through the dark, humid forest.