A/N: Hello again peoples, I know it's been a while. Let's just say I had a lot of stuff. My writers block and a small mind wipe out J Well I've had my A level results a happy me making CDC my friend laughed about it being 'Centre for Disease Control'. Now I've got a nice filler chapter get some insight into the characters J I was planning and noticed this would go awfully fast if I didn't. This literally is a pause in the moment, Alice is thinking back like super quick

DISCLAIMER: I do not on anything! I'm not Stephanie Meyer for one I'm not American and second I'm like over ten years younger.

Chapter six: Pause in the moment

[PAUSE SCENE :p]

Love had never been a big segment of my thoughts, I never understood its workings or wondered why; it just was. So technically I didn't have much experience with love before vampire I remembered nothing but barrenness and obscurity. When I had woken from the darkness I knew only that I had to find that blonde man in that diner. I didn't know why only that I had to and what I felt for him just was I loved him; but I didn't ever question it because he loved me back and it was just how thing were meant to be. Esme loved Carlisle, Carlisle love Esme. Rosalie loved Emmett, Emmett loved Rosalie. They all seemed meant to have a partner, bar Edward. But that was just because he was stubborn… so she had thought.

Jasper had been my definition of love, what is aw in the couples around me set out what it should be and Jasper filled that of course. He cared for me and I cared for him. We were girlfriend and boyfriend, husband and wife. He was my, supposed soulmate. Though I never called him it that as what he could have been classified as till that day….

The day I first saw Isabella Swan and my universe shifted; not did I know it then that she would be my one, my everything. I recall perfectly the first time I saw her; I remember sitting at that table with my family and watching her sit down with those humans. She seemed to have an aura about her, people wanted to be her friend but she didn't thrive of it. She was happy being left on her own she guess. She was beautiful and her smell was noticeably different in the air. There was just something about her… but then I didn't realise what it was.

My eyes where locked on her form as she sat and conversed half heartily with the other students, as I recorded her movements in my brain I realised I wasn't the only person to be captivated by her. Edwards golden eyes stared into her, he was smiling at something and he looked confused the next, then he smiled again. Edward had decided that Bella Swan was his from there, even thought eh tried to stop it. The vision had jumped in my brain; Bella with Edward. Edwards was a determined guy, he wanted what he wanted and usually got it.

And then he introduced her to us, took her to our home; and we knew she knew about our secret. – And I suddenly decided I needed to get closer to her, become her friend. The fact she was a human just didn't matter to me, for I knew I could handle it.

So that's what I did.

We instantly clicked. Even though we had our differences she seemed to enjoy my presence, as much as I enjoyed hers. – Soon we had become best friends; and a bond had started growing between us.

At that time I started getting confused…there was just something more about how I felt about her. – I found out that my feelings for Jasper simply felt unreal. It seemed that Bella was slowly taking his place in my heart. – And it scared me.

The problem was that she was Edwards, his not mine. He was with her always, watching over her like a baby. He was so overprotective and cautious, making sure she didn't get a scratch. Though with Bella that was impossible, she was accident prone. He would tell her she was too good for him all the time, constantly reminding her of how he didn't deserve her. He was not worthy of such a girl, then again was anyone.

He would constantly lie to her, making her miserable, but he'd claim it was for her safety; when I knew it was only for his own conscience's sake, if something bad ever happened to her. She was his little decoy. – Sure, it wasn't her fault that she loved him; she was blinded by his light.

I couldn't help but hating him for doing that to her. However, my only weapon was making my friendship with her grow stronger.

And then there was that incident with Jasper on her birthday. Edward left her…and he dragged us along. Again, claiming it was for her safety. – When all it caused was her misery…and mine.

Still, it took her jumping off a cliff to make me realize that I loved her. – And not plain sisterly love…I was pretty much in love with her. That day I couldn't help it…I had to go and see if she had miraculously survived.

And she did, she had jumped… but she was saved by the wolf … she seemed so happy to see me ad it was perfect until we had to go get Edward. He was my brother and she wouldn't be the same if he died. Perhaps she would have healed, no, she would have died inside. It would have shattered her cracked heart. We went to him, we saved him and they rejoined. Their heart… I sat I he background in pain. I was her best friend and she was my secret love. I looked after her while Edward was away, I took her shopping and I chose her clothes. I loved her and I kept it hidden from everyone, even the man I supposedly loved unconditionally.

Now I had told her, the day we both sat in my room; Edward left hunting leaving me to look after his precious human. The one he loved and said was his soul mate because she was his 'La tua candante'. She didn't see how making his blood almost irresistible made them soul mates, it made her in danger. Yes she smelt goof but she did t everyone and some a little more. I thought she smelt amazing but I didn't have to fight my carnal needs not to bite her; I felt relaxed around her unless I was really, really hungry.

A/N: I put this up to satisfy those of you who keep bugging me about the next chapter. I get it your impatient, but I'm busy people. This isn't finished so keep your eyes open for updates.