Chapter III

...

.........

...

Four months flew by. Mars' everyday was consumed, packed to the point he came home and collapsed. If he wasn't working or taking Remus somewhere, he was with Rhea discussing new potions, new developments, new bills, something. Or listening to her explain fundamentals of being a werewolf to Remus, who was learning with shocking speed and understanding the trials he would have to face as a werewolf. Full moons were the worst. He would arrive at the clinic, anxious, and then he would melt at the sight of Rhea, drained and exhausted, bending backwards to see Remus smile. In those four months Remus had fallen for Rhea, blatantly adoring the woman as though she was his mother, and she had fallen for him just as deeply in return. Rhea had brought the young boy into the light of childhood, with friends and everything.

The first of which had been Elizabeth Potter, a witch about two years younger than Mars Lupin, who worked at St. Mungo's and had helped supervise Rhea's initial training just over two years earlier. It seemed a stroke of good fortune that the woman had a son just Remus' age. In one of her desperate attempts to shower Remus, Rhea had introduced them, and became delighted at the fact that the two boys took to each other immediately. Mars had fallen for it too, and had allowed himself to befriend the hospitable and open Elizabeth Potter, who seemed to have no desire to inform her five year old son that Rhea was not Remus' mother. The thing that she seemed to have noticed was that Mars, and Rhea, took no offense to it, and in fact seemed a little eased by the fact that it could be thought.

Today, Mars mused, was a direct result of that. For the first time he could remember in months he was completely alone at a time of month that did not have a full moon in its near forecast. And it was his birthday. He could almost laugh. It was a beautiful present, he thought, to have a day completely to himself after so much bustle and difficulty. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, jumping sky high as he heard a voice whisper silkily in his ear, "Happy birthday sleeping beauty."

Whirling around, he smiled when he saw Rhea. He had fallen even deeper in the hole that was affection for her, yet there had been nothing in four months. Not a kiss, not a hug, hardly even the friendly pat that was dwarfed by the exchange of the first full moon they had experienced together. Laughing, he squeezed her hand and said, "Well now, hello stranger. What a nice birthday present. I haven't seen you in ages."

She too laughed at that, considering she had seen him the night before. Pulling him upright, she shoved him towards the stairs and commanded, "Go get ready. I'm taking you out today. It's your birthday. You can't just sit at home by yourself."

"I can't?" he moaned, curious as to why she wanted to ruin his hard-earned peace. "That's exactly what I was going to do."

"You know what?" Rhea snapped. Then she softened and looked up at him. "I realized something this morning. The only time we've ever been alone together is in the clinic, and the only other place I've ever seen you is at dinner or here. So we're going to change that. We're going to spend the day together. And I'm going to see you not sitting at home. Now go get dressed so we can go. You can't go out in your pajamas, John."

Grumbling about how his name was Mars, not bloody sodding John – amongst other things – Mars ambled up the stairs, though he was thrilled at the thought of spending a day alone with the half Italian beauty on his couch. The day sped by, a gorgeous day as they walked and talked through the bright sun and playful breeze of the day. It was at around seven that night when they came, laughing, back into the Lupin house, after a light and easy dinner. Laughing, Rhea teased him playfully and began to laugh as he dove after her. A bout of playful teasing ended as Mars gained the upper hand. Rhea's laughter died on her lips, as did the chuckles of Mars, when he pinned her between his arms and straddled her hips, directly above her as she lay on the floor. Eyes wide, she asked slowly, "Mars?"

Remembering how her fingers had dug into his shoulders, he bent his elbows slightly, coming closer to her. His voice was soft, "You got my name right this time, witch. I've missed you Rhea."

She could remember perfectly, especially how his body had tightened to hold her, but she stuttered, "What do you mean? I've seen you every day."

Shifting his weight onto one arm so he could use the other, he stroked her cheek and said, "You know what I'm talking about. You're even more beautiful when you're flustered."

Using the reference to her appearance as motivation, she pulled off being surprisingly stern for a woman pinned beneath a handsome man. "That was just lust. It means nothing. Please, John, don't do this."

Placing his other hand down and lowering himself even closer to her, he whispered hoarsely, "My name is Mars, dammit woman, not John. What the bloody hell kind of name is John? Dammit, you've distracted me. That's not the point! Nobody has ever fallen in lust with me. No, Rhea, it's not lust. I don't know what it is, but I've yet to see a case where lust involves a man falling over his own feet when he sees a woman with his child. I've watched you with Remus, and whatever it is it's for him. And for Remus there could never be lust; he would never invoke such a shallow emotion from anyone."

There was nothing to say to that, especially since she agreed with it, and she moaned, a moan of helplessness and inability to fight back. He lowered himself a little more, and she stiffened and pressed her eyes shut as his body brushed hers. His lips brushed over her closed eyes and she gasped, her eyes snapping open. He let go, his body covering hers and he pressed gentle kisses along her cheek. His voice was low, "I need you Rhea. Please."

She shook her head despite the pounding in her brain and the mush that was her heart as she looked at him. "We can't. It isn't proper. We can't do –. Dammit, yes. Oh, God, Mars, what are we doing?"

He scooped her into his arms and carried her into his room, shaking his head, "I have no idea. But I don't think I'll regret it." Her fingers slid beneath the bottom of his blazer, skin against skin and he shuddered. "No, I won't regret anything."

With an ease uncharacteristic of a man who had been widowed for five years, he slid her jacket from her shoulders. Moving his lips from hers, he whispered, "Have you done this before?"

As she shook her head he felt a flash of triumph, one that melted into something much deeper and more difficult for him to deal with as she said, "I don't think I'll regret anything either. Oh, God, Mars."

He pulled her hair free, smiling as it fell everywhere, tousled beneath her as he laid her tenderly on the bed. Pressing her against him, he kissed her with a searing passion, forgetting to feel triumphant as her fingers dug into his shoulders and she managed, "Mars. Please."

Kissing her again, he took her with a single word against her lips, "Rhea."

After what seemed like an eternity, she stirred against him and whispered, "What do we do now?"

Groaning, he pressed a kiss to her hair and refused to open his eyes, "Don't know. Don't care. Come here Rhea. And say my name again."

Obliging willingly, she burrowed into his arms and ran her hand across the underside of his jaw. But she asked again, "Mars. What on earth are we supposed to do now?"

Much more seasoned in the aftermath than she, he pinned her down and rolled on top of her. He kissed her again, smiling at the shock in her eyes. His voice was gentle, reassuring as he held her closer than she had thought possible, "We take things as they come. And don't worry, Rhea."

Her question died on a moan and she flung her arms around him.

They slept better than either of them could have boasted of sleeping in months. Bending forward, he kissed the woman who sat on the edge of his bed easily and said, "Good morning beautiful. I ruined your shirt last night."

Laughing, she returned the kiss easily and replied, "It was an old one anyway. I'll just borrow one of yours. What time is it?"

"Time to eat and get Remus within the hour," Mars teased, handing her a shirt.

She slipped it on, leaving it unbuttoned as she turned to him, standing shirtless in the middle of the small room. Her arms slid around his bare waist and she leaned against him, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. Though he hadn't expected it, it hardly surprised him and he held her back, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair as he whispered, "Rhea. Come on, let's go get Remus."

Nodding, she buttoned up her shirt, or rather his shirt, and followed him. Her eyes widened as she saw a chocolate covered little boy with brown hair and silver-grey eyes standing proudly next to a little boy with messy black hair and eyes to match the chocolate he too was coated in. "Remus?" Rhea gasped, "What on earth have you been doing?"

Shrugging, Remus grinned, "Chocolate. It was my idea."

"I bet it was, you little devil," Rhea snapped, kneeling down and hoisting the boy onto her knee. "Now tell me, who actually took all that chocolate?"

"James," Remus replied instantly, pointing to the other boy as Elizabeth Potter ran down the stairs and smiled.

"Oh, you're here!" She laughed, eyeing her own son warily before picking up her wand and saying, "Scourgify." She ignored James' squeals as he was scrubbed clean, and Remus' accompanied protests as she turned the spell onto him too. "They're horrible Rhea. Remus has the brains to think up these kinds of things, and James has the sly tricks to pull it off. I don't know what we were thinking, putting them together." Rhea laughed and straightened as Remus and James, now clean, ran off to escape the adults. "They were wonderful until that though. My little one, Alexandra, is still asleep. Thank Merlin."

Grinning, Rhea laughed again. Mars placed a hand on her shoulder and said to the other woman, "Thank you Elizabeth. You have no idea how helpful that was. I haven't had a better night's sleep in months. I'll take James one night, return the favour. Merlin knows anyone with one of those monsters needs a break."

"Oh, don't worry," Elizabeth laughed. "My best friend doesn't have any kids, and she and her husband adore my two. They take them away for the weekend every so often, enough for me to not strangle them both. Andrew would be here, but the Ministry called him away for something."

Rhea wrinkled her nose. If there was anything she disapproved of, it was the habits of the Ministry of Magic. But she said nothing, and looked up at Mars as he said, "Well, the offer stands if you ever need it. I'll go get Remus now, we have some things we need to do."

Elizabeth smiled and pointed where the kids would be. The moment he left she turned on Rhea and said, "I'm guessing you had fun last night. You have a particular glow that could only mean one thing."

Flushing scarlet, Rhea stammered, "Oh, dear Lord. It's not that obvious, is it? Oh, God."

Laughing, Elizabeth shook her head. "Oh, no, don't worry dear. I've seen it in myself often enough to recognize it in others. It flatters you Rhea. I'm sure he's noticed it too, because you look radiant. Not many women have the ability to capture the attention of an older man, especially one as devoted to his work and child as Mars Lupin. And not many people have the ability to survive calling him John more than once. Good luck to you Rhea. And here they are. See you soon."

Rhea, still flustered, said goodbye quickly and within minutes was with Mars and Remus in their house. Feeling as though she'd crossed a terrible line that shouldn't have been crossed, she said briskly, "Well, I've got to go. I'll be back tonight, just to check on Remus. See you then."

Before Mars could interject, and before Remus could complain, she was gone. He frowned and that night when he lay in bed, half asleep, it was a nasty jolt to find that he was reaching for emptiness.

- III – III – III -

Two weeks later Mars stormed into the clinic, tense and worried. Rhea had come and gone daily, but he hadn't gotten more than a glimpse of her every time. There was no way he would let this estrangement go on any longer. The young woman at the desk, Jane Podmore, stood and beckoned him behind the counter. He had come to know her well, partly because she was friends with Rhea. His mind elsewhere, he yelped as her hand came crashing down, none too lightly, on his cheek. Placing a hand on his cheek where she had slapped him, he demanded, "What in the name of Merlin was that for Podmore?"

She was tall, and she looked him directly in the eye as she said coldly, "I don't know what happened, but you're a stupid ass, Lupin. I never saw Rhea as happy as she was the past few months with you and Remus. And I've never seen her as quiet and dejected as she's been the past week or so. A friend of mine from school, Lynch, asked her out to dinner for tonight. And let me tell you, I've seen her act a number of ways towards men who like her, but I've never seen her look so apathetic about saying yes to one before. I've seen her cocky, playful, excited, and even anxious. What the hell did you do to her?"

He turned to argue with her, ready to say that was what he was trying to figure out when the rest of her rant sunk in. His whole physique fell and his eyes dulled. Jane was no fool, and she understood in an instant that he was as much at a loss in regards to Rhea as she was. Unable to help herself, she felt the anger drain from her as he said numbly, "She's going out with someone tonight? She's going out?"

Despite the fact she was no longer angry at him, she held her position of resentment and snapped, "Yes, she is. And it's six, she's gone anyway. Good day Lupin."

Feeling as though she'd hit a lot more than his cheek, he stepped into his house and felt another blow deep in his gut as Remus grinned toothily up at him and said, "Rhea was just over. She said she might stop by later when I get back home, but she was going somewhere. And Miss Eli's going to pick me up now."

He smiled and nodded, keeping up a cheerful facade until his son was gone. Sinking into the chair, he began to comprehend the words he had understood earlier. Rhea was out, with another man. Something sick, beyond rage, a dark, twisted version of jealousy and dilapidated self-resentment boiled within him. For nearly two hours he paced, beating himself, hacking at himself, and breaking at the thought of anyone else touching her. Then he turned and did something he hadn't done since years before his son was born. It was a bar, and a shady one at that. But he didn't care. They had drinks strong enough to make him stop thinking. One after the other, shots of Firewhiskey seared his throat. He merely waved the bartender off as he asked curiously, "Damn, man, how many of those can you take? Usually two'll get them good and pissed."

"High tolerance," Mars Lupin slurred, downing the sixth shot.

Five shots later, and a whole lot drunker than anyone could have known, he stumbled towards the exit. In his stupor he didn't notice the three burly men that ambled after him. Perhaps it was his drunkenness that floored him with one kick. He could hardly feel the kicks, until the heavy boot came in contact with his jaw. He tripped slightly, pulling himself to his feet. Wiping the blood from his lip, he swung, catching the largest of the men hard in the jaw. Even drunk, Mars felt a strange sense of pride in knowing he had hurt the strongest of the three, and he lashed out again and again, oblivious to the blows he was receiving in return. But even a drunk man will fall, and fall he did.

Spitting, he attempted to pull himself upright. His voice was slurred, but the his three attackers understood him well enough. "Come on, kick me again, bloody bastards! I'm still down! I'm so fucking drunk I don't give a damn if you kill me now! Take it while you can, fucking chavs."

He stumbled to his feet again and felt punch after punch land on the others, and he began to feel the punches that landed on him. Feeling blood run down his face, and his throat crack from the abuse he had given it, he yelled hoarsely, "Come on you gutless bastard! I'm alive! I'm still alive!"

For another few moments he continued until something jerked him out of his drunken stupor. At the mere sound of her voice he turned and grunted as a fist connected hard with his jaw. She was stunned, terrified, and worried as she called helplessly, "Mars! Oh, dear Lord, Mars! Dammit! Stupefy!"

Within moments the three others were prone around him, and she ran to Mars as he crumbled. Catching him in her embrace, she slammed a few galleons on the bar and snapped, "This should suffice. Thank you."

The bartender scooped up the change and with a flick of his wand scooped up the three unconscious figures just outside his bar. Meanwhile Rhea managed to get the nearly unconscious figure of Mars Lupin back to his house. Elizabeth Potter stood instantly when Rhea stumbled in, and she nodded and left as Rhea snapped, "Good God, go home Eli. I'm with him."

However, as she disapparated, she said quickly, "Remus is upstairs. He's worried."

Rhea's eyes hardened, the only sign she had heard. And Eli left. Grinning foolishly, Mars looked up at her and said, "I'm alive."

Rhea nodded curtly and knelt beside where she had all but dropped Mars. She swore violently and with a simple charm sobered him. Her eyes were filled with tears, but her voice was hard and angry as she snapped, "You idiot! You stupid idiot! What business did you have going and getting drunk like that?! I was worried out of my mind! And Remus was terrified! You stupid, senseless, brute!"

His head throbbed, and he stared at her through glazed eyes. "You're here," he said dazedly.

"Of course I'm here!" Rhea cried, fiercely denying the presence of tears in her eyes. "Who else would Remus and Eli call when they came back and there was no one here?! Oh, you had better be grateful that the bartender called and told me what you were doing. You idiot! You could have hurt yourself! You could've been hurt!"

Her words became a speedy and anxious flow of Italian, and the musical language throbbed in his head. He reached up to touch his head, wondering how it could hurt so devastatingly badly, and gratefully accepted the potion she shoved at him. However, the moment his head cleared he took in her tearful face and said, "Would you have cared? You left."

A sob choked past her defences and she slapped him weakly, "Of course I cared! I'm not a whore Mars! I don't sleep with every man I know!"

The thought that she even imagined he thought that of her sickened him and he replied gently, "I never thought that. I know that. I said no regrets, and I don't, but I thought you did."

"How could I?" Rhea demanded, ignoring his yelps as she pressed disinfectant to his cuts and swollen lip. She shoved a raw steak at him, holding it gingerly against his black eye. "I was scared! Dammit, Mars, I was terrified out of my mind! How am I to know what you thought?!"

As he sat up and looked at her he felt a sickening jolt, that she really believed that. "Merlin, Rhea, I've done everything I know how to do to tell you that you mean something here. To me, and to Remus. What else do you want me to do?"

She turned away from him, unable to let him see the tears in her eyes, "If you don't know, I shan't tell you." Again diligent, she lifted his hands and swore. Looking up at him, she gaped in horror, "Look at this. How could you do this to yourself? You stupid oaf!"

Mars knew of nothing to say, so he said nothing at all. As she finished and straightened, he grabbed her wrist and begged, "Rhea, stay with me. Please."

Pulling her wrist from his grasp, she turned away and said, "Remus is waiting for me. I promised him I'd stay with him tonight. Good night, John."

As she left, for the first time in his life, Mars felt a pang of envy for his son, and most especially for the boy's welcome place in Rhea's arms. The cold use of the first name he so feverishly detested shot through his beaten soul, and he was left far too prone to retaliate. He watched her disappear, his body ripping itself internally, violently, and helplessly. He didn't see as she hugged Remus to her, crying helplessly as the young boy attempted to console her. And he didn't see the longing in Remus' child's eyes as he nestled into the sleeping Rhea's arms and murmured, "Don't cry Mum. I love you."

…

………

…

Up Next: Mothers and revelations