Closer and Closer Apart
I had planned on writing a bit of smut. Something completely frivolous about the love between these two. Then insomnia struck. So...angst until I sleep.
Laura walked toward him forcing cheerfulness she didn't feel. "Hot work eh. Fancy a drink?"
"Make it dinner and I'm paying. I owe you one."
She shook her head, "No you don't"
He nodded as she walked away. "8 o'clock The Turl?"
She looked back at him, smiling sadly and nodded.
She'd dressed carefully, wanting to look her best for him. He'd admitted he might have had a relationship with the dead woman. Perhaps it was time for him to consider her. In her heart, she'd always believed if she gave him time he would come around. He would finally realize what had been standing in front of him all of these years.
It had never occurred to her he might find someone else. Some other person from his past. There was a fear deep within her which believed his former sergeant's death might push him back into the depths of despair. Another person he cared for, dead too soon.
Her only hope was that he'd asked her to dinner. In spite of everything, he felt he owed her something. She wasn't foolish enough to think tonight was the night he would finally acknowledge there was something between them. Something more than friendship, something, if fostered, which could grow into love.
If she was honest with herself, she already loved him, had done for a long time. She had decided a long time before to wait for him. Her heart had made its decision so seeing anyone else was simply foolish. Looking up she realized she'd made it to the restaurant. Her thoughts of him had made the walk pass quickly.
Looking in the window she saw him already at a table. There was a sadness at the edge of his eyes, she knew it meant he hadn't been sleeping. Her fear pushed its way to the forefront of her mind. What would she do if he slipped back into his malaise? Did she have the strength to continue to love him from afar? To wait?
Entering the restaurant, she made her way to the table quickly. He waved at her but didn't stand like he normally would. Over the past few months, it had become their habit to kiss the other's cheek when meeting outside of work. Tonight, there was no kiss, barely an acknowledgement of her presence beyond the wave.
Sitting across from him, she smiled, hoping her fear didn't show through. There was a darkness in his eyes she hadn't seen in years. All of her fears were laid bare, there in his melancholy look. In that moment, she made the decision to protect herself. It was time she tried to live for her and not for him. She would still be his friend, but nothing more.
Smiling just a bit brighter, she forced herself into the role of supportive friend. It's who she was, always had been. Only now she knew it was all she ever would be.
Tell me the truth, don't ask me to lie
These are the things we say
You don't need proof and I'm not going to try
But I think we have lost our way
I don't own the sun and I can't raise the moon
So now as the darkness falls
Love's so hard won and over too soon
Another cruel ending calls
All I can do is turn now to you
Holding my hand to my heart
All that I know is I'm watching us grow
Closer and closer apart
Interestingly, Laura had a date with Franco a mere two episodes later. Coincidence? I think not...
Mary Chapin Carter - Closer & Closer Apart