Chapter 4: The Relief
Happy took a step back from Paige, quickly wiping the tear that fell away. Paige looked at her, hands on her shoulders.
"Happy, you have to believe that he'll be fine."
Happy nodded, the doubt not leaving her eyes. Muttering to herself, she said, "He has to be fine. This is Toby, he's beat the odds before."
"Exactly, he has beat the odds before. You have to hold on to that."
"But he has been down there 42 minutes. Too long for anyone to be exposed to gas. And he's not responding. He's not awake," Happy stated, panic rising in her voice as she really thought about what had happened to Toby. "There is no way he can make it."
All of a sudden, Happy's heart started to pound in her chest, her vision started to cloud, she felt dizzy, and couldn't breathe. She felt as if her legs couldn't hold her anymore, so she collapsed to the ground, gasping for air that she couldn't seem to get. Paige knelt down next to her. She put her hands on Happy's shoulders and tried to get Happy to focus.
"Breathe, Happy. Just breathe."
Happy started to relax her breathing, but pain was evident in her eyes. She grabbed on to Paige's hand as Paige moved to sit next to her. Resting her head on Paige's shoulder, Happy let herself finally cry, "Oh, God. I'm going to lose him. I can't lose him, Paige. Not now."
Paige just gripped her hand tightly, not knowing the words to say. For a few seconds, they sat in silence, the sniffling from Happy the only sound they heard.
"Happy," Walter said through the comms, "we have him and he's alive, but barely. Get the paramedics ready."
Happy jolted to her feet, wiping her face, not quite believing what she heard, "He-he's really alive?"
Cabe answered, "For the moment. His breathing is shallow and his pulse is weak, but both are still there. We still have him with us, Happy."
Relief flooded Happy's face. She started towards the hole they had made. She needed to get down there to see Toby alive with her own two eyes. She had to know that he was still with her. A hand on her arm stopped her.
"I know you need to see him, but you'll only slow them down. Just wait, please. I've already informed the paramedics and they are getting everything ready."
Happy realized Paige was right. Toby was the priority, not her need to see him. The next couple of minutes were some of the longest of Happy's life. She couldn't stop pacing, worrying something more was going to happen. Her eyes never left the entrance they created. She even found herself silently praying that everything was going to be alright. Then she saw Walter's head pop up.
"Help me pull him up," Walter yelled to anyone nearby.
The paramedics rushed over, grabbing the rope they had attached to the board that was holding Toby. Happy ran over, peering into the hole, trying to see Toby. She held her breath as they pulled him up and moved him to the gurney, gasping when she finally saw him. There was blood all over his head from a large and deep cut on the side, blood on the leg that had been trapped, a few cuts here and there, and dust covering him, but none of that worried Happy. What worried her was how pale and how still he was. It was so unlike him to not be moving. Even in his sleep he moved. Happy found herself moving forward, grabbing his hand with her own, feeling for the pulse in his wrist. For what felt like the millionth time that day, Happy felt her stomach drop and her heart begin to pound.
"He doesn't have a pulse!" she yelled, panic evident once again in her voice. "Help him!"
The paramedics, who had been attaching Toby to the oxygen, started moving faster. One started to fasten him in, as the other began chest compressions. Before Happy could even blink, they were running him to the ambulance. Happy, not letting go of his hand, ran alongside.
"Toby, don't you die on me! You're not allowed to die!" she yelled, tears once again falling.
They reached the ambulance and Happy was about to climb in when she was stopped by one of the paramedics putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Ma'am, you can't come in here."
Anger flashed in her eyes and she pulled his hand off, "There is no way in hell that you are keeping me away from him. I am going with him."
"I'm sorry, but if you aren't family, you are not allowed."
"I am his family. I'm his fiancée and I swear to God, if you do not let me on there this instant, I will kick your ass." She got in his face, "And trust me, you don't want to fight me right now."
The paramedic nodded and moved to let her in. She scrambled inside, grabbing Toby's hand again. She watched as the other paramedic continued chest compressions, while the jackass that tried to stop her from being there prepared the defibrillator to use on Toby. She winced when the shock of electricity went through Toby. Looking anxiously at the paramedic, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, when he confirmed that his heart had started back up. She sagged in relief and leaned over to kiss Toby on the forehead as the ambulance started racing off to the hospital. Resting her head against his, she let a few tears of relief fall on his cheek.
"Stay with me, Toby. We've come this far and you can't leave me now."
Once they reached the hospital Toby was rushed away to the waiting doctors. Happy took the fiancée thing as far as they would let her, but even she knew there were limits - like when they had to take him into surgery for his leg. So she sat down, along with a stack of papers to fill out. As mindless as it was to fill out the information on Toby, Happy was glad for it. It gave her a break from all the worrying. She finished filling out the papers and sat back, closing her eyes. The day ran through her mind for the umpteenth time. She never wanted to feel like she had again. Like she still did. She wasn't used to things going her way, so even though she had been reassured Toby would be fine, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. For them to come out here and tell her he was gone. It was an uncomfortable feeling to have, especially for someone who had been shut off to things like that for so long. But, as much as she hated having these feelings, she was, in a way, glad she did. It meant that she had Toby and Toby, to her, was worth having to deal with unfamiliar feelings.
She took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. She was surprised to see the team there, staring at her. Paige moved first, coming into Happy's space, leaning down to give her a hug before taking the seat next to her. Cabe gave her a reassuring smile before sitting across from her. Sly was next, handing her a magazine filled with engines and mechanical parts, before giving her a hug of his own. He chose not to sit, there were too many germs. Last was Walter. He gave her a quick squeeze on the shoulder and a nod of his head, choosing to sit next to Paige.
"Have you heard anything, Happy?" Sly asked.
Happy shook her head, "Not yet. Once we got here they rushed him off into surgery. It's been about an hour now. I'm hoping they come out here soon."
"I'm sure they will," Paige said, patting Happy's arm. Then with a slight smile, Paige tried to lift the somber mood of the group, "So what was all that about being his fiancée back there?"
Happy opened her mouth to reply, but as she started to talk, Toby's doctor came out. Happy jumped out of her chair and practically ran up to him.
"Is Toby okay?" she asked, worry in her tone.
The doctor gave her a smile, "Are you family?"
Happy nodded, "Fiancée."
"Well, Mr. Curtis-"
"Doctor," Happy interrupted, so used to hearing Toby correct everyone that she had just automatically said it, not even aware until after it came out.
The doctor gave her a confused look.
"It's Dr. Curtis. He's a doctor," Happy explained.
"Ah, I see. Well, as I was saying, Dr. Curtis inhaled a large amount of gas. However, I don't believe that will be a problem. We will see if there is any lasting damage when he wakes up. He also suffered from a rather serious concussion. But again, I will know more when he's awake. We took him into surgery to repair his leg. I was surprised that it wasn't shattered based off what I was told. His tibia was broken in two places which required a rod and screws, but that will heal just fine."
Happy sighed in relief, "So he's going to be okay? Truly okay?"
The doctor smiled, "I believe so, yes. I will know more when he regains consciousness, but the outcome looks positive."
"Can I see him?" Happy asked, anxious to be with him.
The doctor looked at the group standing close behind her. "They are transferring him to his room now. You can all, go in, but only for a short time. He's in room 305."
"Thank you!" Happy yelled as she ran off to find Toby. The rest of the team followed behind slowly, after properly thanking the doctor.
Happy rushed into the room, not exactly sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn't what she found. He was laying there against the crisp white bedsheets hooked up to multiple wires. He was covered in bandages and, once again, he was so still. She gasped quietly and slowly walked to his bedside, grabbing his hand when she got close. She kissed his cheek, before settling down in the chair next to the bed.
"He will probably be unconscious for a little longer, but he should wake up soon," the nurse said, reassuringly. "If you need anything or he wakes up, press the red button and I'll come in."
Happy nodded her thanks and then turned back to Toby, running her thumb over back of his hand. The rest of the team filed in, each taking a seat without saying a word. It was as if they knew Happy needed the quiet. She needed the time to process everything that had happened to Toby. She needed to just take in the sight that was before her, that Toby was still alive and breathing. She needed their support, but didn't want to talk about it, at least not to them.
Cabe was the one that broke the silence between the team when his phone rang. Answering his phone, he listened for a minute then hung up. Happy turned to look at him, a question in her eyes.
"Please tell me they got that bastard who cause all of this."
Cabe smiled, "They sure did. Sylvester hacked into street cams and was able to confirm Belamer was the one driving the semi."
"I was able to track him using the street cameras and told Homeland just where to find him."
Happy let a smile grow on her face, "Thank you," she said quietly.
Although it was only two words, the team knew what she meant by them. She was thanking them for being by her side and helping her through everything she was feeling. After that, the team slipped into easy conversation. Happy joined in at times, but she mostly just stared at Toby, praying for him to wake up. She continually checked the monitors, making sure his heart was beating and his lungs were working. She was not going to relax until he woke up and told her himself that he was fine.
An hour later, the nurse came in again, saying it was time for them to leave. Everyone got up to leave, everyone except Happy that is. The nurse looked at her and repeated that visiting hours were over. Happy just stared back.
"I'm not leaving. I'm staying here."
The nurse looked ready to retort before Happy added, "He's my fiancé, I have to stay. I need to be here with him."
The nurse's face softens, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. You can stay, but the rest have to leave."
Happy thanks her and turns to the team. "Thank for you being here guys, but I'll be fine."
"We will be back tomorrow," Paige says to Happy before she ushers the team out of the room.
Once they leave, Happy sighs. She is happy to just be by herself with Toby. She has always preferred to be by herself. It gives her time to decompress and process everything. She hated going over it all again, but her mind wouldn't turn off. The day had started off so well. She had been so excited to make herself take that next step with Toby. To finally open up and act more like a normal couple. To not be afraid to show everyone how she felt. And then the day turned bad. She had been through some bad days before, but this was the worst. Now here she was, hoping like hell that he would wake up soon and crack a joke, making everything better and right in the world. She shifted her hand in his, pressing two of her fingers against his wrist. It gave her comfort to feel his pulse against her fingers. It reassured her he was really alive. She laid her head down on his bed and allowed herself to succumb to the fatigue caused by the events of the day.
A few hours later, Happy was awoken by the nurse checking on Toby.
"How's he doing?" Happy asked sleepily.
The nurse continued to check him as she answered, "His vitals look strong."
While Happy wasn't trained in reading people and didn't have a medical degree from Harvard like Toby, he had taught her a few things and she could tell the nurse wasn't tell her everything.
"Are you worried that he hasn't woken up yet?" Happy probed, "I mean, he should have woken up by now, right?"
The nurse gave her a tight-lipped smile, "It is a bit strange that he hasn't woken up yet, but every person heals at their own rate. His body is protecting itself and giving itself time to heal. He will wake up in his own time."
Happy looked at Toby again, worry crossing her face. Just when she thought everything was going to be okay, she gets more bad news. It was the way of her life. Happy quickly wiped away the tear that got out.
"Thank you," she murmured as the nurse left.
Happy pulled Toby's hand up to her mouth, kissing it gently. She began to talk to him,
"See Toby? This is why I don't let myself be happy, why I don't like to get too close. Everyone always leaves. You can't leave me too, Toby. I've allowed myself to get close to you. I've allowed you into my life and this is how you repay me? You know, you're kind of a jerk," she gave a harsh laugh, "but you're my jerk. And I wouldn't want anything else. I'm sorry I've not always been open with you, but I swear, if you come back to me, I will talk your ear off. I'll share everything. Just come back."
She allowed a few more tears to come out and continued gripping his hand. The team showed up a couple hours later and they found her like that. Her hand gripping his, his hand just resting against her lips, with her just staring at him with worry filled eyes. Walter pulled her out of her trance when he touched her shoulder.
"Damn it Walt, you scared me. When did you guys get here?"
"We just got here. Wanted to see how Toby was doing."
Happy leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes briefly, "He hasn't woken up yet. They aren't sure why. Right now it's just a waiting game."
Paige pulled up a chair on the other side of Toby. "Why don't you go home and get some proper sleep, Happy? We can stay here with him and let you know if anything changes. Get a shower and change your clothes, just get some rest. You need it," she suggested.
Happy shook her head and glared at Paige, "Not happening. I'm staying here until Toby can leave."
"I knew you were going to say that," Sylvester said walking in, "but Paige didn't believe me. So that is why I brought you this." He held up her black overnight back and a cup of coffee. "I figured you could use some good coffee."
Happy smiled and murmured her thanks. She grabbed the cup and took a long drink. It helped wake her up. Taking the bag, she made her way into the bathroom. She opened the bag Sylvester had brought, smiling when she saw the contents. He brought her normal attire, but made sure to include one of Toby's sweatshirts, her favorite one. It was one of his old Harvard sweatshirts that she often stole from him. She had just been wearing it yesterday. She quickly slipped it on, threw her hair up, and splashed some cold water on her face. When she walked back into the room, she felt a little more human.
For the next few hours, things almost seemed normal. The team tried their best to keep things light and stress free. They laughed over Sylvester's attempts to clean the room, they joked about Walter's lack of pop culture knowledge, they teased Cabe about his old ways, and they shared interesting facts with Paige. But it was still different. Toby wasn't awake to make a joke or share a rude comment. Eventually they all left, leaving Happy alone with Toby once again. She read to him, talked to him, and begged with him, time passing very slowing. With every passing second, Happy grew more worried, unsure if he would wake up. When she could no longer think anymore, she leaned up to kiss Toby gently on the lips, before taking up the position she had the night before - fingers on his wrist, head on his bed.
It was 32 hours. 32 hours since they had brought Toby to the hospital. 32 long hours, but he finally woke. He slowly opened his eyes, head aching as the bright light hit him. It took him a second to recognize his surroundings. He heard the beeping of the machines monitoring his heart beat and the slight snoring coming from beside his thigh. He looked down and saw Happy, fast asleep holding his hand. He extracted his hand and pushed aside the hair that had fallen on Happy's forehead, smiling slightly. Happy jolted awake.
"You're awake," Happy almost yelled, a grin forming on her face.
"Hi, baby," Toby said hoarsely, but smiling.
Happy quickly stood up, placing her hands on Toby's cheeks, and leaned in to kiss him. She only meant to place a quick kiss on his lips, but when his hand went to the back of her head she couldn't help but deepen the kiss, letting out a small moan. When she pulled back, she had a face splitting smile. She leaned her forehead against his.
"Oh, God, I love you," she whispered. She stood up and slugged him in the shoulder, "Don't you dare ever scare me like that again!"
Toby chuckled and rubbed his shoulder, "Gladly." He took her hand, intertwining their fingers and looked at her, a serious look in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, babe. I really am. I'm sorry I scared you."
Happy shook her head, "Don't, Toby. You didn't do anything except try to save the day. You're safe now. Can we just not talk about it? At least not right now? I've done nothing but worry and now, I just - I just want to stop and be happy that you're alive."
"Of course," he smirked and crooked his finger at her, pulling the covers on the bed aside, "Now, I think I remember saying that when I got out of the tunnel I wanted to give you a long hug, but I can't do that when you're in that chair. So get your tiny little self up here and let me hold you."
Happy smiled and blushed slightly, but climbed up in bed. She laid her head on his shoulder, pressing her face into his neck, and threw her arm over his waist, allowing Toby to wrap her in his arms. She sighed, content and happy for the first time in over 32 hours.
They laid there silently for a few minutes, letting the stress of the past day drain away. Then quietly, barely audible, Happy began to talk.
"I was so scared, Toby."
Toby fought his instinct to talk, knowing that Happy needed him to be silent, to just listen as she told him what she went through. She was opening up to him, without his prodding, but if he pushed too hard, she would clam up. So he just sat there playing with her hair as she continued.
"I thought I had lost you. I-," she took a deep breath, "I didn't know what I was going to do. I felt lost and useless. I cried, Toby. I never cry. What have you done to me?"
Toby smiled, kissing her forehead, "I have loved you and that's not going away anytime soon."
"I love you too, and that scares the hell out of me. Everything good just disappears in my life, but now I have you and I thought nothing would take you away. But I was wrong. You were almost taken away from me. I just, ugh, I don't know. I guess I don't know how to process everything I'm feeling."
Toby pulled her even closer to him, "It's normal to feel scared and confused. That's part of allowing yourself to get close to people. What you have to do, though, is decide if it's worth it. Can you deal with the uncertainties in order to form relationships? Or is it just too much? Who do you want to be?"
Happy sighed and then kissed his neck, "I decided long ago that you were it for me. I have you to help me through whatever is to come. The fear of losing you is not nearly as great as the fear of not being with you. I want to be the person you're helping me to be. I want to allow myself to open up and it's hard. But in the end, I know it's worth it. You're worth it."
Toby turned his head to look down at her. He smiled gently before leaning down to kiss her slowly. They leisurely kissed for a few more minutes, taking the time connect in a way they hadn't before. They pulled apart when they heard a throat clear in the doorway. Toby smirked before looking at who interrupted them. Happy buried her face in Toby's shoulder, embarrassed, before scrambling off the bed to occupy the seat she vacated earlier.
"Dr. Curtis, nice to see you awake," the nurse said, smirking at what she just interrupted. She went over to check his vitals, "You seem to be doing well, but a doctor is going to want to do a full evaluation." She nodded towards Happy before leaving the room, "You're a lucky guy to have such a dedicated fiancée over there. She hasn't left your side once."
Happy doesn't say anything. Instead she just looks at Toby, waiting for him to catch what the nurse said. He turned to her, eyes wide.
"You've been here the whole time?" he grabs her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "You didn't have to do that. It's not like- wait, did she say fiancée?" realization washing over his face.
Happy nods and smirks, "It was the only way they were going to let me stay. I was too close to losing you that I was not going to leave your side until you woke up."
A big smiled formed on Toby's face. He pulled Happy back up to properly kiss her. As she sat back down in the chair, the doctor came in to check Toby.
"Dr. Curtis, I glad you're awake. How do you feel?"
"I've been better. I've got a massive headache and it's hurting when I breath. But overall, I feel okay. I know the leg is going to be bitch to rehabilitate, but I'll take it as long as I'm alive."
The doctor started examining Toby, "The headache should go away within a day or two. Since you're still attached to the oxygen, it should be getting easier to breathe. I would say you'd be back to normal with that tomorrow. For your leg, we put a rod in. That means, you'll be able to put weight on it fairly soon, but you will have to go through a few months physical therapy to gain full strength back."
"No muscle or nerve damage," Toby asked, clearly surprised.
"No, there appeared to be none. You were lucky."
Toby smiled at Happy, "I sure was. When do you think I can get out of here?"
"Probably tomorrow. Since you just woke up, I want to evaluate you for another night. If nothing happens, you'll be out of here. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Toby shook his head, "Nope, I'm good. Thanks."
The doctor nodded, "Alright. I'll be back to check on you later."
Toby turned to Happy and waggled his eyes, "Did you hear that? I'm getting out of here tomorrow. That means tomorrow night it'll be just you and me with all the privacy in the world."
Happy smirked, "You heard the doc, you have to stay off your leg."
Toby pulled Happy back up to his bed, pulling her close to him, "Oh baby, I don't need my leg for what I have planned."
Happy gave him a look, "You don't?"
Toby moved his hand so he was gently caressing Happy's stomach under her shirt, "No, I don't. I seem to remember that you like to be in charge in bed." Toby kissed Happy's neck, "So see? I really don't need my leg."
Happy's eyes fluttered shut as she moaned, surprising herself. She quickly opened her eyes and pushed Toby's hand away.
"Hey," he exclaimed, "I was having fun."
"We cannot do that here, Toby. Anyone could walk in."
"Fine, I'll stop."
Happy yawned.
"You should try to get some sleep, babe. You look exhausted."
Happy smiled, "I think I might just do that."
Happy snuggled in closer to Toby's side. She laid her head on his chest and hooked one of her legs around his good one.
"Now this is perfect," Happy mumbled, "Love you."
Toby kissed her head and closed his eyes, "Love you too, Hap."
Toby breaks the silence a few minutes later, "You know, I like the sound of that."
Happy opens her eyes, giving him a confused and sleepy look, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"My fiancée, it sounds good. It makes me happy," Toby says as he pulls her closer.
Happy smiles and turns her head to kiss his jaw, "I'm starting to get used to it."
Tiny grabs her hand laying on his stomach with his free hand, intertwining their fingers, "I think I'm going to have to make that real sometime soon."
Happy's smile grows bigger as she closes her eyes again, "I think you might."
Toby smiles and closes his eyes. They both drift off to sleep, thinking about what the future holds for them.
Note: There will be one more chapter, more so an epilogue. So stay tuned! :)