Regina stared at Emma. She was torn between laughing and crying. The conversation was making her feel like she was in that idiotic film Emma watched with Henry — something about a woodchuck… or groundhog. Yes, Emma would find a movie named after a rodent appealing.
She focused on what was happening at the sound of Emma's laughter. There stood Robin, stapler in hand. He brandished it as if it were some kind of club.
"For fuck's sake, I'm the Dark One, not an art project," Emma said. She snapped her fingers and the stapler was in her hand. Emma flipped it open, glanced at her with a smile she was unsure how to interpret.
"Did you plan on… say, flinging staples at me?" Emma asked Robin who stance indicated he'd fight. "I mean, it could be an unknown weakness of Dark Ones, like Kryptonite."
Regina slid forward on the couch, magic stirring. She'd seen little of Emma and perhaps the darkness was building in her? A subtle vibration indicated magic, but it was barely perceptible. Robin yelped in surprise, then swatted the air frantically as the tiny metal staples plinked against his skin and shirt. This sent Emma into fits of laughter.
Her hand flew to her mouth, stopping the laughter threatening to burst out of her. As Emma turned to her, she dropped the hand, the desire to laugh replaced by an instinct to take her to task for her inane behavior. Her resolve to make a sharp comment dissipated the moment the blonde idiot winked at her and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
Emma sent the stapler back to its correct place on Regina's desk while Robin strategically shifted to the side, almost between she and Emma.
"Regina, how long have you two been arguing about his utter failure to make a commitment to something more… whatever you call your current role of lover or mistress…?"
Regina frowned and held up three fingers.
Emma stared at her fingers, then her gaze shifted to lower. Regina had seen that gaze before. The night Emma became the Dark One, she'd confirmed what she suspected since the night they met, and she felt her cheeks color.
Emma snarled, looked back at her face. "Three hours, that is—"
"Days," Regina interrupted.
Emma turned on Robin, face flushed, fists clenched. "Are you sure it was Little John that was turned into an ape? When a woman says 'No' or that she's 'no longer interested' or whatever Regina — apparently far to patiently and not with enough violence — to get into that petrified wood skull of yours, then you walk. The fuck. Away."
Robin stood unmoving, mouth , eyes wide long enough for her to worry that Emma had frozen him. Emma's control of magic had been improving, but her impulsiveness could be dangerous with the Darkness in her, whether or not it was in control.
Then, Robin jerked to life. "This is not about you. I'm her soul mate and we are destined. I've made mistakes but I need her in my life. I went with Marion because it was the right thi—"
"Stop. Before I take that sniveling voice."
His words, once what she'd believed, were more like a punch to the gut. Emma moved over to the desk and he backed away. She sat herself on top of the marble surface, but she didn't have the strength to protest.
"Consider me a court-ordered mediator," Emma said. "This is simple. Even you should be able to understand. Everyone knows your 'code' and all the why's. But what is important is how Regina feels."
Turning to her, Emma said, "You've told him how you feel? What you want?"
"Yes." This… confrontation needed to end but she couldn't bring herself to interrupt Emma.
"Then that's it. Leave her alone. She's decided and you need to respect that."
Robin's face reddened. "What about what I want?"
Emma shook her head. "Wow. Dense."
She readied her magic, to protect Emma from crossing a boundary that would be hard to come back from. She inhaled, she'd protect Emma before Robin? When had that happened?
Emma stepped up to Robin, looked him up and down slowly. "Not worth it."
She spoke up, encouraged by Emma's control. "I agree. No reason to use magic and tempt the darkness."
"Exactly," Emma said. In the next instant, her right fist swung, connected hard with Robin's jaw. Robin stumbled across the room, hand going to the jaw, eyes wide in shock.
Before he could respond, Emma froze him in place. "Listen up, you overgrown Boy Scout. You've made your case and she's not buying it. Leave her alone. She might not hurt you, but I've no such reluctance, no 'code' to blame my behavior on."
She reached out, but her arm fell short of Emma's shoulder. As if sensing her unexpressed wish that she let Robin go, Emma waved a hand and he stumbled forward, jerked upright, face red.
"Got it?"
He rubbed his jaw. Glanced at her, but she couldn't hold his gaze. Emma was right, and he'd worn her down, again and again. She wanted him gone. But what right did Emma have?
For a moment, she thought he might argue. Then, without a word, he grabbed his jacket off the chair and left, door thudding behind him.
"Bye-bye," Emma called out after him.
"Did you need to hit him?" She collapsed on the couch. "And get off my damn desk."
"Well, I didn't use dark magic, and yeah, I sorta did. Three days?"
"He loves me. I believe that."
"And you?"
Regina's eyes closed and she exhaled long and slow. "I wanted to."
"I'm sorry if I —"
Something in her snapped. She sprang from the couch and stood before Emma, hands on her hip while Emma slid from the desk, looking for all the world liked she'd been caught out like a teen watching porn. "You should be."
Emma jaw clenched. "I didn't intend… I came to—. Forget it."
"If you used the door like a civilized person, I'd have told you it wasn't the best time. I was dealing with it."
"I know he's persistent but for three days?"
She couldn't do this. "Yes, because the Dark One doesn't care about anyone's feelings but her own. I think some perverse part of you enjoyed making Hook miserable. But I'm not —"
"Oh, that is rich… you not perversely cruel? You made an art out of hurting people for how many years?"
The heat, the tears threatened to well up. Forcing a coldness into her voice she said, "Go find someone else to rescue, or annoy, or whatever it is that the Savior and the Dark One all rolled into one does these days."
Emma's brows raised, then dropped and her brow furrowed. In an instant Regina found herself staring at a dissipating cloud of grey smoke.
Regina, looked up at the clock. She'd worked later than she'd intended, catching up on the paperwork that had piled up. Mercifully, Robin had left her alone for three days. That thought brought her blood to a boil. Emma had interfered as if she were some maiden in need of rescue. She'd had it under control and hadn't been tempted to give in to Robin's plea for another chance. Or at least not tempted enough to serious consider the idea.
Henry was going to spend dinner with Emma, a good thing for the Dark One because she felt like a bot about to boil over. There had been so many things wrong with Emma's interference she didn't know where to begin. Even thinking about it left her heated.
Shaking her head, she piled up the documents, grabbed her belongings and locked the office door. She hesitated at the car then turned up to walk to Grannies. No point in making a dinner for just herself.
Opening the door to the diner, the typical evening chatter died down. People glanced in her direction but eyes diverted almost immediately. As she stepped to the counter to place her order, Happy slid off his seat and skittered towards the restrooms — although, why he took his coffee was beyond her.
"What can I get you?" Granny asked, shooing away the other server who was working the counter. The young woman backed away, nervous smile plastered to her face, then bolted into the kitchen. Eugenia must have seen the annoyance on her face because she said, "Don't mind her, she's skittish about her own shadow."
"I'll have the meatloaf with mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables."
"Of course, would you like that delivered?"
She snorted, figuring Eugenia was being facetious. "I'll dine in, thank you." She turned and scanned the room for a booth. A family of four scrambled out of one she often sat in when it wasn't the dinner rush. Three rushed out the door, and the father tossed a number of bills on the counter. She knew he'd paid far beyond the cost.
Ruby rushed by her. "I'll have this cleared in just a sec—"
A loud crash from the other end of the diner drowned out the rest but she'd have sworn that Ruby had called her 'Your Majesty'.
Ruby raced, cleaning up the remnants of the meal — or more like the less than half-eaten meal. Across the room, Ashley was picking up the pieces of a plate. Ashley looked up and saw her, and began apologizing. The other server rushed to Ashley with a broom.
"All set," Ruby announced. She indicated the now clean table with a gesture that was more a bow than pointing. What the hell was going on? Everyone talked in lower tones than usual, glanced at her, rushed through their meal. She was about to say something when Ruby arrived with her meal, in record time.
She ate watching Granny's clear out, person by person, as if there were some event everyone needed to be at. Something was not right. Her mind went back to yesterday. She'd passed Emma's idiot mother on the street. She'd said, "Snow," her usual greeting to limit interaction. Her response had been to stop and say, "Oh, seems a bit early for that kind of weather. I hope you're wrong." Snow then slid past her, walking rapidly towards the school.
It had struck her as odd, but not worth expending thought beyond that. Until now. She'd remembered more than one person calling her Madam Mayor yesterday, which hadn't been all that common of late. Emma — she had to be behind this. Maybe she'd been criticizing her in front of others — these simpleton's were easily swayed. All that hard work, and what, a few words from the new Dark Ones and people feared her again?
Pushing her plate aside she rose to leave. One of her former guards, Bernard, strode into Granny's holding Bashful by the shirt collar. "I caught him outside making disparaging remarks. What would you like me to do with him, Your Majesty."
Emma had done something with people's memories. That was the only explanation. Yesterday, it felt like the cursed Storybooke. Today, the Enchanted Forest, minus the actual setting. Of all the immature—
Her thoughts about Emma's idiocy were interrupted by Eugenia appearing out of the kitchen, crossbow in hand, pointed at Bernard. "No disrespect, Your Majesty, but I'd appreciate you take your royal business outside my inn."
Regina rose from the bench, the few patrons left backing away, mouths agape. "Of course," she said to Eugenia. To Bernard she said, "Put the dwarf down. If I killed every peasant who was less than complimentary, you morons would be doing all their labor. I've more important idiots to deal with."
In an instant, she was in the sheriff's office. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Emma floundered to get her feet off the chair, almost falling out in the process.
"Oh, now you want to talk?"
"No, I want you to explain why you are playing around with people's memories."
"Boredom? You haven't had fun until you listen to David come in here to tell me he doesn't remember drinking but woke up next to Princess Abigail, or getting a buddy phone call from my mother asking if she should call Whale for another date. I'm impressed it took you this long to figure it out. I mean, the dwarves and the fairies alone should have tipped you off. Bunch of small men parading down the street whistling with pick axes over their shoulders? What clued you in, peasants on your lawn with pitchforks and torches?"
She listened to Emma, at a loss for how to respond to such inane behavior, every emotion of the last few days rising until she couldn't contain them. "Your parents may be idiots, but you… you are a special kind of idiot. You have all the Dark One's power and yet, boredom is the overriding emotion and you use that power for sophomoric entertainment?"
From the nearby cell, a voice piped up. "Oh, bloody-hell. Here I thought you were just one of the Evil Queen's minions. Wonderland was less dangerous than this place." She spun on him and he gave an awkward grin. "No offense, Your Evilness."
"Shut up," both she and Emma said.
Scarlet raised his hands, gave a sweeping bow. She walked around the desk, Emma's eyes following her. She was not about to have this conversation with one of Robin's frenemies in the room. Whether or not he'd remember whenever Emma grew bored with her memory game. She put her hand on Emma's shoulder and transported them straight to her study.
Throwing herself on the couch, Emma flicked her hand and Regina's fireplace came to life.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Setting a nice, homey atmosphere."
Regina waved her hand and the fire disappeared.
She sat up. "Well, someone's in a mood."
"That this is news to you is astounding. But then, you've made no effort to engage me in any way in the last few days."
She rubbed the back of her neck. Regina being stubborn was a literal pain in her neck. "You told me to leave. You were angry. I was giving you space."
Regina snorted. "Angry. No, I'm angry now. That night I didn't want to deal with your rude behavior to someone I care about. I was handling it. I didn't need you to come barreling in and save me. You didn't notice. But as of late, you are more interested in amusing yourself at the expense of others and letting your Dark One out to play."
She shook her head. "I told you, it wasn't darkness. This is me. Always has been. Can't say that you've been yourself lately. I thought if you noticed people treating you like Madam Mayor before the curse broke or the Evil Queen, you'd take a hint. I was having fun, not gathering my Darkness."
"I'm less worried about your Darkness than I am about your utter inane sense of 'fun'. Was it fun when you barged into a personal conversation between Robin and I?"
Her eyebrows went up, and a slow smile crossed her face. "Why, yes. Yes it was. Especially the part where I punched his dumb face."
"You realize you sound like a five year old? Your behavior isn't much better."
"I'd rather be that than a doormat for the world's most indecisive man. He treats you like a yo-yo. Throw you away, yank you back."
"You have some nerve," Regina said, jaw clenched.
"I'm impressed you had the nerve to even have the discussion. Too bad you didn't have the nerve to kick his sorry ass to the curb back when you first saw his stupid tattoo. What happened to 'making your own destiny? You said once he didn't see you as the Evil Queen and I'd have to agree. He apparently saw you as a weak woman who'd put up with anything because some whacked out fairy encouraged you to commit adultery using pixie dust and declaring him your soulmate."
Regina's jaw set, her dark eyes widened. "I am not weak."
Emma had seen the expression before — when she'd chainsawed Regina's tree, when they'd argued in the cemetery. Just like that night, Regina's arm swung out, fist connecting hard with her face. She could have avoided it, ducked, transported herself, but there was something good in the pain. Something good in seeing the woman she wanted back, alive with fight.
Her own hand darted out in response, gripping Regina under the jaw, lifting her to her toes. "Welcome back." Regina's eyebrows went up, then her eyes narrowed, as if suddenly seeing the clues. Emma didn't wait for her to catch up. She closed the distance, pulling Regina towards her with a yank, and kissed the mouth that opened in surprise. Hard.
A/N: As much as I'd love to post more frequently, the reality I live in includes a full-time professional career, a family, a fantasy novel in revision stages, and the occasional need to be entertained beyond the fan world. Most months I try for posting at least once. If I post more, it will be a bonus.
On the plus side... my mean tease at the end of this chapter will result in smut...