AN: Thank you so much to my first reviewer for such a wonderful comment! You're amazing!

"What do you mean "makeover"?"

"Look I told ya I got this all sorted out. An' ya gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet!"

Espio massaged his temples with an irritated groan. "Vector I'm going to kill you..."

"Guys!" Charmy flew in from the kitchen, clutching the phone tightly. "I already got a tutor!"

Espio blinked, looking to the bee and back to Vector. "Tutor? You got a tutor? For what?"

Vector grinned sheepishly. "Well c'mon Espio it ain't like yer the most graceful guy when it comes to social situations! If we're gonna make this whole bad boy image work ya gotta be good with the ladies too!"

"H-hey we didnt agree to this-"

"Amy and Cream will be here in half an hour for your makeover and then we'll jump into tutoring at noon!" Charmy flew by, holding a rather official looking clipboard as he wrote something down on it. Vector followed him, making a show of cleaning up around their grubby home in preparation for the young ladies soon to arrive. Espio for his part sat down on the coach and willed himself to not throw up the toast he ate that morning.

…

"No no no! This is all wrong!"

Espio counted exactly fifteen seconds. In fifteen seconds Amy, Cream, and Vanilla walked inside and sat down. And in those fifteen seconds Amy took one look at him, heard the plan, and gave her very informative thoughts on the matter.

"You can't just manipulate women into going to you for help with some cheap ploy like that!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Espio looked to his quite possible hero, Amy Rose. Surely she could save him from this whole mess.

"If you want girls to like him you need a much stronger approach."

So much for salvation. Clearly I am doomed to an eternity of hell.

Vector nodded his head thoughtfully, scribbling down notes. "I see, so you have some better suggestions?"

Amy stood up and walked over to the purple chameleon, who immediately stiffened as she leaned in and studied him. Shifting under the intense gaze, he averted his eyes and internally cursed at being subjected to such humiliation.

"Are you alright dear?"

Glancing up at the soft spoken motherly rabbit, Espio nodded politely. "Yes Vanilla...uhm...thank you.." He jumped as Amy poked at one of his arms.

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" Barely suppressing his irritation he turned to the pink hedgehog that was prodding at him as though he were fresh cut meat from the local deli.

"I like to think there are five rules to the perfect bad boy. Rule number one is body. You seem okay in that area, a little thin but I imagine a good black trench coat can hide that."

"Can I just ask why you even agreed to do this?" Espio pulled away from her, trying to suppress the mental image of having to parade around in a new wardrobe. "While we are on agreeable terms, this can hardly be a way you would want to spend your free time.."

"We promised to keep tabs on Sonic for her while she was helping us!" Charmy beamed, pausing to check one of the video surveillance cameras they had installed in his house. "Right now he is making a grilled cheese sandwich."

Amy sighed happily. "Now that's a dream guy. If you ask me, just finding someone like my Sonic should be enough to get your clientele back."

Yes well we didn't ask you. Espio thought bitterly as he stood to get away from her cruel gaze. "...and where did we get the money for video surveillance-?"

Vector grinned nervously, tugging at an imaginary collar. "I...pulled some strings...but that's not important right now. So Amy, let's get this started!" He ushered everyone outside before Espio could inquire further on the missing funds.

…

"Okay so the next most important rule is number two. Attitude." Amy had the poor ninja stand in front of the small group, crossing her arms as he immediately began to camouflage out of stage fright.

"This is hopeless Vector.."

Vector sighed as he stood and walked over. "Espio c'mon this is important!"

"Well excuse me for existing." the invisible air snapped back, clearly more comfortable when he didn't have to be seen by so many eyes.
"I thought this was important to you." Vector crossed his arms.

"I didn't realize I was to be put on display and mocked by everyone."

Cream frowned and piped up from her folding seat beside her mother. "We aren't making fun of you Mister Espio! We just wanna help, right mama?"

"Mmhm."

Amy nodded her agreements. "It would be a shame if you guys lost your business. And the way Vector explains things, this can really save the agency. You just have to let us help you."

Espio took a moment to collect himself, feeling a headache coming on from all of the unnecessary excitement he had suffered in the past six hours of his life. Did all of these people really think he could be some kind of dark hero for the Chaotix? A type of edgy bad boy that could appeal to people? There was just no way...

After a few moments of self contemplation he removed his protective shield and looked to Amy. "I'll cooperate with your...tutoring. But I must request some boundaries." His voice was calm once more, trying his hardest to be open with whatever the pink hedgehog planned.

She considered for a moment before looking to Vector. "What do you think?"

"When do we get to the makeover part?! I'm sick of all this boring drama!" Charmy piped up as he jumped up from his seat. Vector rolled his eyes before looking to his chameleon comrade, seeing the faint but still visible pleading expression behind his golden eyes.

"Yeah, of course there can be limitations. Es has the right to his own body o' course."

Espio felt for a moment the deepest appreciation for Vector before reminding himself that it was the foolish croc's idea to do all of this in the first place. Amazing how quickly the mind makes accommodations for the hell it's living in.

"My requests are simple. I ask only that I'm allowed mornings and nights for meditation."

"...that's it?"

"And also green tea."

"Wow you don't require a lot huh?" Amy raised an brow as Espio only shrugged softly in response. Charmy and Vector did not look very surprised in the least by his requests. This was Espio they were talking about after all, and it seemed that no matter how they dressed him or what they taught him to say and do, he would always be the same chameleon at heart.

And with that thought I'll have to leave it here. In case it wasn't obvious at this point Espio really is my favorite Chaotix member, and I just love sinking into his internal monologues about how annoyed he is with everyone. How I wish there were more of these three! Anyways thanks so much for reading and thanks again to anyone and everyone who reviews! Such incredible support is worthy of a cookie!