Quinn could feel cool air rushing past her face. She opened her eyes, she was falling. Maybe flying, she couldn't tell, it was too bright. The only thing the blonde knew is that she felt safe. Wherever this breeze was taking her was starting to feel more and more like home.
Her feet hid the ground with a thud, but it didn't hurt. She was barefoot and there was green grass between her toes. Looking down at herself she realized her stomach was flat. The baby bump was gone and she ran her fingers over the pink fabric of the dress that covered her.
"Mommy!" A high-pitched voice broke her from her reverie, gaze shooting forward.
The teenager was in a sun-kissed field that spread in all directions, it was seemingly endless. A hundred yards or so in front of her stood a tree. Tall and strong, a swing hanging from one of its branches. Just as her eyes met the seat of the swing, so did a pair of tiny hands.
Quinn was now right next to the swaying seat, each of her hands wrapped around the braided twine. She looked down and her eyes met the tiny child's. They were big and brown, but full of tears. The blonde knew this was her daughter sitting on the swing in front of her. She felt a pang in her heart and began to push the girl gently, now behind her.
With each push the teen mother felt as though the swing was getting further away from her. The tree was growing, taking the branch and the swing attached to it as well. Quinn waited for it to sway back over her head, and with all her strength leapt straight up, fingers curling around the edge of the seat her daughter was perched atop. Her feet connected with the ground once again as it swung forward, but she refused to let go. The blonde ran across the grass, her arms nearly hyper-extended above her head.
Once her body could stretch no further, she felt her feet lift from the ground again, swinging out with her daughter. The child let out a shriek as Quinn's fingers began to slip from the wood, splinters embedding themselves into the skin of her palms.
As the ex-cheerleader's fingers gave way, she stared wide-eyed at the earth that was rushing up to meet her. Suddenly she no longer felt at home. The feeling of security that had accompanied her first descent had changed to gripping fear. Quinn smashed into the muddy earth as the wind picked up. Whipping her head around, she attempted to stand, to run after her daughter.
The sight in front of her nearly tore her heart out. The sky had darkened considerably, black clouds rolling in, lightning striking between them. Trying to rise again, Quinn let out a frustrated sob. As the mud around her began to swallow her whole, she watched as the clouds seemed to reach down and wrap themselves around her screaming daughter.
The mud started to cover her face, pouring itself into every orifice. It slid down her throat and she choked, struggling with all her might to break free from its grasp. It seeped into Quinn's eyes and she sucked in a lump of wet dirt as she remembered the terror on her child's face. She didn't even get to hold the girl before she had been taken away.
The mother realized everything was black. She couldn't breathe. She was going to die, she couldn't save her own daughter.
Quinn shot up in bed, gasping for air. Barely noticing she was covered in a thin layer of sweat as she threw the blankets off of herself, racing to the window. Her small hands frantically grasped the wooden frame and pulled it up. An icy blast of frigid winter air hit her face and she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes and clutching her swollen abdomen. She still had her baby. She was safe.
It was still dark, and snow was falling heavily outside the Berry's home. Quinn could see her breath form a cloud in front of her with each exhale as she leaned out the window. The light haired girl hated the nightmares. Though they had never felt as horrible as this last one, they always hurt. Staying with her throughout the days. A reminder of her maternal anxiety; the uncertainty of it all.
Finally feeling a bit better, Quinn shut the window with trembling hands before placing them back on her baby bump. Her feet lead her out into the hall. She needed to know she wasn't alone, she needed that feeling of safety.
Assuming Rachel had taken up residency in the guest room, she walked to the door opposite hers. Slowly she turned the knob, pushing her way into the room as quietly as she could. The soft light from the hallway illuminated the sleeping brunette's face and Quinn suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over her.
Not now, she chided silently to herself, trying to push the contrite thoughts to the back of her head. She didn't want to feel worse, but she couldn't help it. She'd hurt so many people, even the one that was asleep across the room, the one that had given her a place to stay. The girl she had plagued for years for reasons she had yet to figure out. Quinn was so ashamed. She didn't deserve help, and especially not from Rachel. Tears stung the corners and she let out a choked sob, immediately covering her mouth.
Rachel stirred on the bed, cracking one tired eye open and then the other.
"Rach-" the blonde's voice dropped off as another sob shook her small frame, "Rachel," she couldn't seem to form the words she wanted to. At a loss as to what she was going to do next, she squeezed her eyes shut and began to cry. The whimpers that escaped her mouth started slowly, but worked up to full fledged bawling. She'd never felt so vulnerable or alone and it was rapidly tearing her apart. She wanted to fall to the floor, curl up, and disappear.
Soon Quinn felt small arms snake around her waist and she fell into the embrace, her own arms around the dark haired girl's shoulders. The feeling of security she longed for was being exuded slowly but surely from the arms that had enveloped her. Relief came with a surge of heart-wrenching grief. Grief for being kicked out twice, for getting pregnant, for hurting everyone around her. She'd seen herself wrecking all her relationships but hadn't been able to stop. She started to wail into Rachel's hair, thankful the other girl's fathers weren't home to hear her.
Rachel moved them both carefully back to the bed, beginning to whisper reassurances into her companion's ear along the way.
"Hey, it's okay," the raven-haired girl nearly pleaded as she got Quinn up on the bed, releasing her grasp only for a moment to pull the blankets up around them, "Everything is going to be all right, I promise," Rachel nearly pleaded and this only seemed to make the girl cry harder.
Quinn desperately reached out for the smaller girl as she settled into the pillows, practically pulling herself on top of her, burying her face in Rachel's neck.
"Quinn, it's okay," Rachel stated as she hugged the blonde to her side tightly, only panicking a little when her cries didn't seem to be getting any quieter, "You're okay, I'm here," she murmured into the yellow hair.
Gradually, Quinn began to calm down. Her wails turned to sobs which then turned to sniffles with the occasional hiccup. She felt Rachel's hand rubbing circles on her back soothingly and nestled further against her side, focusing on the comforting words still falling from the brunette's lips.
Rachel quieted as the girl in her arms did, feeling less helpless now that Quinn seemed to have calmed. She was afraid to say anything to her pregnant companion. Not sure what might send her back into those heartbreaking sobs. So instead she moved her hand from the blonde's back to her hair, nails gently raking across the shaking girl's scalp.
"Thank you," Quinn breathed out, "I don't- I'm sorry... I don't know-"
"Shhhh," Rachel gently coaxed. She didn't want the blonde to feel pressured to talk about anything just yet. They had plenty of time in her mind. They didn't need to explain any of this right then.
Quinn was thankful the other girl was being so quiet as well as not trying to get her to talk about her breakdown as well. She'd never had someone comfort her like this before. At least not since she was a kid. Pushing a memory of her mother consoling her as a child, emanating what she believed at the time was unconditional love to the furthest corners of her mind, Quinn inhaled deeply. With her exhale she melted into the warm figure next to her along with the pillows surrounding their heads. She felt as though she could sleep for weeks. Months, even.
Rachel felt the younger girl relax against her, listening as her breathing slowed and evened out. Attempting not to analyze the events of the last hour or so, the dark haired girl let her eyes droop and her hand fall from the golden tresses to the sheets below. Quinn had drained all her energy emotionally, and was surely going to do it again tomorrow. Slowly, the brunette drifted off to sleep, and the house was quiet finally as the snow continued to fall outside.