Disclaimer: Cassandra Claire owns all, except for Ethan and Noah, they are all mine!

Chapter 5

Keeping Promises

Part 1:

Jace was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, while I gave the boys their bath. They both seemed to love the water so much, and would start to fuss as soon as I took them out of the shallow water. I had just put the boys in their cribs and tucked them in when Jace showed up. He was leaning against the door frame waiting for me to turn on the night light, so that he could turn the lights off. After this was done, I followed Jace out the door and shut it behind me until there was only a small opening. The baby monitor was on, like it always was, but I felt more comfortable with the fact that I could hear them through the door with it open this way.

I took a quick shower, alone of course, before getting dressed. I whipped at the fogged mirror before brushing out the tangle of curls I called my hair. A small frown formed on my face as I thought of all the changes that had happened after the boys. Most of them were good, some were unpleasant, and others were upsetting. The good things were quite obvious, and the unpleasant would be the pooping and the puking. The upsetting would have to he the change on me after the boys.

I had gotten back to my normal size by now, but I had stretch marks veining across my lower stomach and legs from where my body had grown so quickly to fit the boys. I felt ugly with them, and thought Jace would think so too, so every time he tried to advance on me I would find some excuse to get out of it. I could take myself being disgusted by my marks, but I don't think I could handle it if he was. I shook my head before I could think of it too much. I was not crying tonight, not like all the other times.

*Jace POV*

(Jaces point of view is in IItalics)

I sat in bed fiddling with my hands for what felt like the millionth time that night. Those treacherous thoughts of mine kept edging back up, and the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach felt almost unbearable in that moment. For months now, Clary wouldn't let me lay a finger on her. Sure she would let me hug her or hold her hand, but that was where the touching stopped. I felt more like a friend she confided in than the husband I was supposed to be.

When she first started pushing away from me I though she was just tired from the boys. The Angel knows how much of a handful they can be with both of us here, but for her to manage on her own while I was at work was a miracle, but with time I realised that wasn't the case. My next idea was that she was still sore for child birth, but after I asked other mothers from work I learned that wasn't the reason either. My last and current conclusion was one that had been there from the beginning, and the one I dreaded the most. She didn't love me anymore.

She only enjoyed my company as a friend and not as her love, like I did her. At first I blamed Julian or Tyberious, thinking that she had fallen for one of them but that was impossible. Neither of them would ever do that to us, they were the ever loyal friends. I had felt terrible after I realised this. I felt miserable for even thinking they would do such a thing, but my greater concern was Clary. Why? Did I do something to offend her? And with all of that being said, I was still silent. I don't know if my silence is just me being cowardly or me being hopeful that it'll clear up soon or maybe that I just trust her enough to come back to me.

Right at that moment Clary walked into the room, softly shutting the bedroom door behind her. She was as beautiful as ever, especially with the moonlight hitting her hair just so. I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at her, it was different every time. She crossed the room with her eyes directed to the floor, before crawling into bed next to me. Her back was turned to me within seconds, just as she had been doing every night. I felt those thoughts coming back to me, but I shoved them away once again. She had to… she wouldn't turn from me that quickly, would she? I mean after all we had been through together, this would definitely not be our undoing. Could it?

After a moments hesitation I edged closer to her until I could feel her still damp hair, which was splayed across her pillow, brush against my cheek. Slowly I brought my arm around her to wrap around her waist, but she jerked away. "Clary," I tried to say normally but my voice came out in a pleading manor. I knew what she was going to say and within seconds her expected reply came, "Not tonight Jace." She scooted farther away from me, and drew herself in a ball. My heart hurt just seeing her this way. Didn't she know by now that she could tell me anything?

"Clary, please," I said as I gently placed my hand on her shoulder, but she flinched away again. "I said no, Jace," she snapped at me as she kept her back turned. That was the last straw. For months now I had been trying to get her to open up to me. I didn't care so much that she didn't want me physically, but it really stung when she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. It was quite clear that everything was not okay. Had I not promised her that I would always be there, always care, always love? Was my promise not enough anymore?

"No? No? That's all you've been saying for months now! Just tell me already! What's wrong, and don't you dare say its nothing," I said much louder than I was trying for, but she kept her back turned to me, "For God's sake, do you not have the decency to tell me when its over is that it!? I at least deserve to know why you're leaving me, because it seems clear to me that you've already left." "What!?" She asked turning to face me. "What the hell do you mean wha…" I stopped when I got a clear look at her face. She had fat droplets of tears streaming down her face and her eyes were red as if she had been rubbing at them.

"W- why are you crying?" I asked, feeling my earlier anger dissipating. "I," she hiccupped as she rubbed at her eyes, "Really its noth…" "Stop! Just… just stop right there. I don't want to hear you say that its nothing or that you're okay. Do you really think I'm that blind, that ignorant to not notice anything? I want the truth Clary, and I want it right now," I said with my voice level in check. I couldn't risk waking the boys up right now, not when I was this close.

Clary opened her mouth as if to speak, but quickly shut it before any words could escape. She bit down on her lip as she stared down at a lose string in the comforter, she was trying to do it again. "Clary," I whispered as I scooped up her hands and pulled them away from the string, "please don't do this, just tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. I'll do anything if it means you won't be angry at me anymore."

And it was true. It was common for couples to fight, even my parents had done it when I still lived with them, but that didn't mean it was something to enjoy or something that had to happen. All I wanted was for her to smile again, it was so rare to see it now a days. She used to light up every second of the day, and now I was lucky to see even a flicker. She was strong, too strong even in some cases, and that was why she normally shut me out. Its just that this was much longer than any other time. This didn't seem so simple to fix, it was obviously going to take some time.

Authors Note:

So what did you guys think of Jace's POV?! Do you guys like it from his view too, if so I can have it from him too, just switch back and forth. I just thought that it would be nice to get his stand point on what's happening. Also this chapterwill be split in parts, in case you didn't notice, the next part should start from Clarys POV unless you guys want to keep it from Jace.

Oh and I want to clear this up so that I don't offend anyone, I don't think stretch marks are ugly, they are just a natural thing that happens to our body's sometimes, I just know that sometimes women can be stressed, depressed almost,after pregnacy and little things like stretch marks can set them over so that's where that came from. Anyways this is it for now, so thank you for reading and I love you all!

-Haybell

P.s. do you guys want me to bring Cecily back for a while,I know she wasn't here for very long also just a hint for what's to come, there are going to new people moving to Idrs. Points to anyone who guesses correctly!