Hiya, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic.
2nd August 1917
Dear Diary
I've sent Rose a couple of letters now, and she has only replied to one and it's been months. I just hope she's okay; her letters and writing in here are the only things keeping me going at the moment.
The rats down here are disgusting. They're so big, yesterday I saw a couple feeding off a dead body; gosh it was disgusting; the smell and the sight of it made me throw up. Also my feet are always nearly in water, so I made this little hole thingy to stop them from getting wet, well most of the time anyway. I don't want to get trench foot like so many other people. All I can hear is just guns, bombs, men screaming, men screaming for help. Help that's what we need be are we going to get it, no. I feel helpless because I want to help these people but I can't. And again I count myself lucky, because I haven't got lice, yet. It just sounds so painful.
We had a gas attack yesterday, but it was this new one Mustard Gas I think that's what it's called. I was really lucky to get out unscathed. The problem is you couldn't really see or smell it, but this guy came running down through the trenches yelling at us to put our masks on, I'm so glad he did. As most of us managed to get out of the vicinity, I realized that this guy I had been talking to for the past couple of days, wasn't there. After things had died down a bit I went back looking for him. I found him coughing, spluttering and trying to breathe, so I picked him up to take him to the infirmary. All of his skin and his eyes were blistered, he looked terrible, but as soon as I started to walk he just stopped moving. I checked his pulse and there wasn't one. I felt numb as I still carried him like he was alive to the infirmary, when I got there they said he was dead. I still felt numb walking back to where I was supposed to be and then it just registered in my mind that he was dead. He had died in my arms. I threw up. It wasn't my fault he died, then why does it feel like it is? Maybe it's because he was a comrade, and maybe I should have gone back sooner, but they said not to as someone still got caught even when they were wearing their gas mask. So it wasn't my fault, it wasn't.
Oh God how I miss Rose, I wonder what she's doing now? I just want to hold her in my arms, make her and I feel better, kiss her even, but I may never be able to do that again. No, don't think like that Jack you will be able to do it again, just not for a really long time.
Anyways we are planning an attack to step into 'no mans land' or 'going over the top' I think they call it, well we're 'going over the top' to have some payback of our own. But that's what I'm really dreading, because of all the men that go up there only few return. Anyways I had better go now; I need to get as much sleep as I can.
Jack
Hope you enjoyed.
Please R&R
See ya