And I'm back! I hope everyone is doing great! I am so ready for season nine to come back, even though I'm a little apprehensive. Anyway, Hope you wonderful people enjoy :D
"Miss Beesly!" I heard a distant call but I couldn't put it together too well. "Pam!" I heard more clearly a moment later. My eyes open and there are a few heads hanging above me. I recognized Lisa and Tiffany (if I remember correctly) that I had met only a few moments before. "Uhh." I moan softly trying to sit up. "Are you okay Pam?" Lisa offers me a bag of ice and a concerned look. "Yeah. Yeah." I glance sideways towards the candy plastered all over the floor along with the glass pieces that pierced the front desk as it fell. "I'm so sorry for this mess. I'll clean it up." I sputtered quickly attempting to move to clean it. "No, no honey. Really it's fine." She pauses still looking distraught. "Are you okay?" Her voice directing its own way into my ear as if she expects a different answer. "Yeah I just felt a little hazy that's all I'm sorry." I stutter getting up slowly, watching a man in blue jeans and a green hoodie lean over and pick up the glass pieces carefully.
I bend down to grab some candy in front of my foot as the man grabs my hand. I look up watching his face. His face round and friendly, his baby fat still clung to his cheeks. His hair spread out flat but messy, almost like Jim's but thinner. His eyes are a little longer but extremely friendly and warm. His whole face gives off child like features. It was rather cute. "I got it seriously. You need to sit down and take it easy for a minute." It came out like a command but his voice sounded anything but demanding. "Okay." I finally say smiling back at him. Right before I sit down I hear him. "Besides, don't need you knocking anything else over." He looks over at me with a teasing smile and my mouth forms a small "o" before resting back in its place. "Nice" I reply grinning. "I thought so." He comments putting the last of the pieces in the trash. He stands fully and I see his whole form. I can tell he is big boned and shorter, unlike Jim who is tall and lanky. I shake my head at my obvious pros and cons list.
"I'm Alex" he says softly with that charming smile I had met only a few moments before. "Pam" I smile back grabbing his outward hand and shaking it gently. I glance at his silver watch looking at the branded words at the bottom. I can only make out European edged in gold before my eyes switch to the apparent moving hands. 7:45. where has the time gone? I let go of his hand just as I hear a voice.
"Pam, its okay if you need to come back tomorrow if you are feeling ill." Lisa says calmly. I shake my head before she even finishes her sentence. "No, no I really need to do this." I take a deep breath and turn to Alex again. "It was really nice meeting you." I smile gently. He immediately retaliates with a new expression on his face that I can't read. "It was great to meet you as well." As I make my way out the door and back into the dim lighted hallway behind Lisa I hear my name. "Hey Pam!" I turn around and face Alex once again. "See you around." He turns to Lisa than back at me. I look up to him with a timid smile of my own and say "See you around." He smiles and walks away. She gives a small wave to Alex as we turn and walk down an empty hallway filled with colors that I'm sure are from every crayola box in the country.
"Well that was something huh?" she smirks at me as we walk closer to a door that says The Beautiful Babies of Scranton. Then at the bottom it says 6 months to one year olds. "I'll say." I mumble. She smiles and stops right in front of the door. "Are you ready for this?" She looks at me with support tossed around in her eyes. I take one final breath and shake my head reluctantly. "Yes." I smile slightly. I feel her hand on my shoulder. "You can do this. " I shake my head closing my eyes for a moment hearing as she turns the knob. My entire body shakes with adrenaline I have never felt before.
I walk in and hear the laughter echoing the room. There is a small TV in the corner playing The Lion King with plenty of adults and baby swings scattered nearby. I look around feeling the sense of pride they must take of being able to make sure all of the kids are cared for, played with, learning, and being loved. At first, I felt such a huge attack on me at once. As if my senses were taking advantage of me. Now, I feel the change of emotion playing me like an old record player. The MM cartridge just isn't moving fast enough. "Pam?" I move my eyes away from all the commotion and follow Lisa into another door that led to groups of play pins, almost shy of a dozen. She walked me over to a purple play pen and smiled downward. "Here is little Ben." I smoothed out my skirt pinching the ends of it tightly trying to get a hold on reality. I moved closer. This was it. I mean; This. Was. It. I walked up even closer looking down at the top of his head. He looked up at me with his beautiful big blue eyes and I knew what it felt like to fall in love. The birds were singing and the angels were grazing his presence. Holy Crap.
His cheek bones were still filled with baby fat, his body was little, with only a tiny little belly sticking out in the front, His blue and yellow SpongeBob outfit made him even more admirable. I couldn't breath, I couldn't speak. I just cried out a very tiny gasp as my eyes filled with tears. This was Ben. This was sweet, sweet little Ben.
"I'll give you guys a moment" Lisa whispered I could tell so she wouldn't frighten Ben away from my stare. I smiled slowly. Just when I thought love couldn't be anymore on my side, he smiled. He really smiled. At me! "Hi Ben" I whispered slowly. He just continued to smile. Then, ever so slowly he moved his little tiny hand towards mine. "Baba!" He scooted back towards the back of the playpen, suddenly so afraid of me. As if he knew I wasn't just another one of these care takers. I let confusion fill my face. What was I supposed to expect?
"You don't drink the "baba" anymore do you Ben?" A voice from my left coo's down at him. I turn and see a short haired blonde woman who was making sweet eyes at my Ben. His face seems to calm completely and even though it shouldn't have. It irked me. "Hi I'm Rebecca; I am the main guardian for this age group." She holds out her hand gently. "Hi, I'm..." she interrupts me as her hand grabs mine. "Pam Beesly, nice to meet you." She laughs lightly as the absurdity of the expression on my face. "I did a little research." I nod slightly still not fully understanding. "You have been at Dunder Mifflin for 7 years right?" Another nod. "Yeah." She moves her eyes back to Ben. "I usually do research on families who want to adopt. It's kind of what I do." I don't smile back as I point towards Lisa behind me, who was putting up a time chart. "I thought that's what she does?" She meets my eyes. "She does. I just make sure everything is in ship shape. I care about these kids more than my life. I have to be sure they are going to be taken care of." She tilts her head towards Ben lowering her voice. "And I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about your sister." I play with my necklace. "Yeah." You'd think she would be able to fake it better.
I find myself lost looking at Ben as he plays with a toy piano. "Do you want to hold him?" I'm almost completely startled by her reply. I look at Ben then back at her then back to Ben. "Miss Beesly?" Her head tilting down to catch my eyes. "No yeah. Definitely." I feel something catch in my throat. In my head this was so much easier. What if I drop him? What if I make him cry? What if he doesn't want to come home with me?
She leans down and picks him up his arms awaiting her arrival. "C'mere little Benny." She coos. He was so beautiful. His little white socks poked out of his pants. She looked at Ben as he stared at me almost contently. She handed him over to me slowly. He was so warm against my chest. I smiled at him. He didn't start crying so that was a pretty good sign. I wanted to squeeze him and put him down all at once. I was scared. Of so many things. How was I going to raise a kid when kids all around the world hate me? I don't think babies like watching paper shed or appreciate suckers that turn their tongue a different color.
He makes a little noise and I feel his tiny hand slowly cover the top of mine. It was like little shatters of my skin were jumping off and making rainbows right in front of my eyes, the feeling was magical. The connection that I feel when I turn my hand over and grab his little fingers is life altering, like everything felt so complete and feeling the need to amend my entire life. Its sends jolts through my entire body.
I grab his little fingers and squeeze them gently. "Well don't you guys like cute together." Lisa walks up smiling at us. "How does it feel?" I feel myself almost spitting out the first words that come to my head. How does it feel? Are there even words for this feeling? I flash back to when Jim's arms were wrapped around me. That inexplicable moment of when his hands met mine and the tingles were sent to every part of my body. And when his lips wandered crossed mine, I felt a feeling I've never felt before.
I look down and watch his eyes roam around my face. He moves his little hand into my palm and I feel it again. I smile down at him and tears roam around my eyes. Love .That's what this feeling is. I laugh in spite of everything. "It feels perfect." My reply was washed away with Lisa's and Rebecca's footsteps leaving me and him alone watching the paint wash away the sun and his eyes drift close with the unexpected shutter of my heart thumping in my chest.
Yes! I brought Alex from Pratt and into this story. I just thought it would make it more interesting. And I know please don't curse me out, Jim and Pam are coming.
Hope all is enjoyed!
Review and get a free cup of coffee from Dwight's coffee corner: D
-Jamfan2000-