As is said, this will be the last chapter with a flashback from Cameron, next chapter will be completely from Remy's point of view. Actually second half of that chapter is already Remy's pov.

So let's go on, chapter 9 is ready for you!

When did things get so extremely out of hand? And how? This is just not how it was supposed to be.

Cameron sat in her office, thoughts of her earlier encounter with Remy running through her mind.

She won't even talk to me. How can I possibly get her to listen to me without walking away.

Remy's words were like knifes in Allison's heart. She had disappointed her a lot. She made her feel like she wasn't worth taking the risk. She was. But Cameron was just happy the way they were and somewhere in her messed up brain she thought that things could always be like that. It was stupid but she was afraid to lose that happiness. To lose what they had created for themselves.

Stop it, Allison. You've done enough as it is, this is not your problem. Just leave me alone.

Yeah, she knew how much she hurt the brunette but she wanted to explain, she wanted to tell her that everything will change from now on, that she can do that. That she will kiss her whereever she wanted to kiss her and hold hands with her no matter where they were. That she will show everyone how lucky she is to have her. Good plan… There were just a few problems. She didn't have her anymore and the brunette didn't want to talk to her or even listen. Great, just fucking great.

So if Remy wouldn't talk to her, she had to make her "listen" differently. She could write her a letter but what's the point in writing it? Everyone could write down some stupid words but meaning it is way harder. She had to do something that would show her that she still cared and that she was willing to change. Suddenly having something in mind, she searched her desk for a beautiful piece of paper and began to write in a girlish handwriting. She remembered when she found those words herself in Remy's handwriting.

When she came home from work she was exhausted. She opened the door to her appartment, ready to fall onto her bed and sleep for days. Opening the door fully she was surprised that it wasn't all dark. There were candles that lit the room slightly.

She walked to the first candle immediately, too curious to even stop and take off her coat and shoes. There was a sheet of paper that read "go to the next candle", so she went to the next one, getting more curious every second. When she came to the second one she saw another sheet of paper and read it. Smiling warmly she thought about what to do next.

She went to her living room and what she saw there made her gasp. There was Remy sitting at her table, a fully set table, with a red rose and another candle on it. The brunette smiled at her and stood up, stepping into her personal space. She took off the blonde's coat and brought it to the wardrobe. Returning, she stood in front of the blonde, a smile still plastered on her face like it could never be vanished.

"Rem, this is…" she trailed off.

The younger doctor just stood there and looked her deep in the eyes, her own eyes sparkling and expressing a smile their own.

"This is wonderful," Allison was finally able to verbalize.

"No," Remy told her. "You are wonderful, Ally!"

A single tear made it's way down Allison's cheek as she remembered that day.

Yeah, maybe this will make her listen.

She stood up, grabbed her coat and her purse and left her office, the piece of paper in hand. She walked to a nearby flower shop and bought a single red rose. She went to the women's locker room, opening Remy's locker, knowing her combination by heart. They never hid anything from each other. So she placed the sheet in her locker and the rose on top of it hoping that maybe the brunette would talk to her after that.

When Remy left that evening she was beyond exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep. She went to her locker to change coats and get her purse. When she opened it she was surprised.

When she saw the rose she knew exactly who it was from. Only one person new the combination of her locker. She took it out to smell it. Did Allison really think a simple rose could make everything okay again? Then she found the piece of paper and took it out.

"To love is good; love being difficult. For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. For this reason you cannot know love in the beginning; you have to learn it . . ."

Rilke, what a way to crawl back into her heart. What did she still want from her? She made her point pretty clear. And she knew Allison wouldn't change for her. She knew. At least she thought she knew. Six months. She had the time to change. All the time. Remy was patient with her, very patient.

God Ally, what do you want from me?

Remy remembered the evening when she wrote this on a sheet of paper and placed it next to a candle. She could almost feel again how nervous she was while she waited for her in her appartment.

When she heard the door click she felt her heart beating so fast that she was afraid it might jump out of her chest. She waited patiently, not saying a word or making a move until the blonde walked into the living room.

Smiling at her she stood up and took the coat from her, bringing it to the wardrobe. She saw how speechless her girlfriend was. She stepped back into her personal space and looked into her eyes. God, she could get lost in those beautigul green eyes.

"Rem, this is…" the blonde trailed off.

Remy kept looking at her, smiling as if there was no tomorrow.

"This is wonderful," Allison was finally able to verbalize.

"No," Remy told her. "You are wonderful, Ally!"

She kissed her softly, lingering on her lips for a few seconds and then stepped back, walking to the table and held out the blonde's chair, as she had done at their first real date at their bar. She went to the kitchen to get the food and came back with it, placing it in front of Allison and her own chair.

Suddenly Allison noticed the music in the background. Their song was playing quietly in the background.

"Did I forget some kind of anniversary? God, I'm sorry. I just had so much stress and-"

She cut her off immediately, not wanting her to continue.

"No, of course not. Do I need a reason for this? I just wanted to do something nice," she told her.

"Wow, what have I done to deserve this?"

"Everything and nothing. You're just…you. You put up with my shit and you're there for me no matter what and I know that I can count on you. It's just… well, I think my way to say thank you. For everything," she finally ended her rambling.

"You're welcome," she said smiling at her.

They ate in comfortable silence, occasionally glancing at each other. Remy couldn't stop smiling the whole time. Seeing her girlfriend happy was the best thing she could imagine.

As they finished eating, Remy stood up and took the plates to the kitchen. She had just placed them into the sink, when she felt Allison wrap her arms around her and caressing her stomach. She placed soft kisses on the back of her neck and Remy thought she might go crazy as she felt the blonde's breath on her neck. She lifted her hands to rest them on the blonde's, drowning in the feel of her girlfriend pressed against her.

God, if she only knew what she's doing to me. And then it happened. She said those three words that the brunette was terrified to hear because she never said them to someone that wasn't her dad or her mum.

"I love you," the blonde whispered into her left ear, kissing it lightly. Remy's breath got caught in her throat. She panicked, not able to answer in an appropriate way.

"I-I think…I should…well, the dishes aren't going to wash themselves, you know?" Jesus, I'm so stupid, why can't I just say it back? I do love her, I know that. Why can't I tell her? Remy, you're such a fucking coward.

"I think that can wait," Allison said, not really getting the inner struggle her girlfriend was going through. She continued kissing the brunette's neck and felt her relax a little.

Remy didn't know what to do. She turned around and looked at her girlfriend, opening her mouth, trying to say those words. She didn't want to hurt her just because she was an emotional cripple.

"Allison, I-"

"Shh, I can wait. But there is something that I can't wait for any longer," she said leaning forward, kissing her passionately. Soon Remy loosened up and kissed her back. When she felt the blonde pulling up her shirt, she pulled away from their kiss to help her, copying her girlfriend's actions, stripping her from her shirt as well.

As soon as possible they were kissing each other again. As the blonde began kissing her way down her jaw and sucking down her neck, Remy let out a loud moan.

"Ally," she said, her voice almost cracking and full of lust and desire.

"Mh," the blonde mumbled against her neck, cupping one of the brunette's breasts with her hand, caressing it softly, causing another moan out of Remy.

"Bedroom," she got out, almost breathless by now.

Withouth another word Allison took her hand and guided her to her bedroom. As soon as they were in, Remy pulled her to her and kissed her again. The blonde felt as if her legs might die away every second, so she pulled the brunette with her and let herself fall onto the bed. Remy hovered over her and waited for a moment, just looking at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked her

"Yes, I am," the blonde answered, pulling the brunette down again to lock their lips in a fierce kiss.

That night the brunette made love to her girlfriend for the first time. Well, actually it was the first time she ever made love to anyone. This wasn't just sex. It was gentle and soft but at the same time it was mindblowing and the best thing she had ever experienced.

When they lay there, intagled in each other, fitting perfectly, she felt a single tear role down her cheek. As Allison noticed this she lifted her head from her girlfriend's chest and opened her mouth to say something but Remy beat her to it.

"I love you too, Allison," she said, smiling at her lovingly.

Remy stood in the middle of the room, tears running down her face, steadying herself with her left hand on the locker next to hers, the sheet in her other hand. How could the blonde do that to her. What was she trying to proof?

"Well, that was definitely not the reaction I was hoping for."

Turned out very different from what I had planned, but I definitely like it better that way.

Maybe some of you might notice that I used the cancle thing from another movie. Try and guess =) Just saw the movie recently and I loved that scene A LOT!