WHAT? I KNOW! It's me again, with another chapter! I bet everyone's heart just levitated. Anyway, I am really excited because I know exactly what to write now that I am back on track and I am as we speak writing the next chapter for this story. Yes, it is true. Christmas is coming! Lots of Christmas fun plans! Hope you guys enjoy!
The wind was flustering against my car window as I feel some slip through the cracks. I stare so heavily, so daring at this stop light. The color of passion, blood, and love, the irony is too much here. Sometimes, the road just seems so dense, so manipulative. This light though, this light was mocking me. All a glow mocking me with its harsh glare. I can't help but look around as I stare at all the empty roads that surrounded me, as here I sat at this one red light. The one red light in all of Pennsylvania that would make me consider moving. So far, I've lost my best friend, the only person in this world other than my mother that knows me so well and treats me as such; I've lost a child that I never had, a child that made all those insecurities come to life, but they also gave me a chance to correct those insecurities. It gave me a choice and a hopeful future. Just like Jim did. But over an hour ago, I threw all that away and left it behind in the small coffee shop where dreams were meant to be a reality. This red light is making me pay for those decisions that I had made. It's lifting up this mirror in front of my face making the honesty dangle in front of me. Have I mentioned I might be moving?
I let the tears rush out smearing whatever stable makeup I had left and fell off my shirt onto the floor board of the car that Jim insists I clean. Still, this feeling lingers beneath my bones and wallows in the self-pity of the shadows surrounding my car. I can't let it go. I can't let it go and it's killing me. Something inside me wants to start throwing things and having a temper tantrum in the middle of this empty street, but I hold back. Thoughts of Roy come into my head. His words, his face just lingering in my mind. It was painful to hear that I couldn't change Roy's mind, but even on that level, leaving Jim was so much more painful and I don't know why. I hang my head for a solid second when I heard a door behind me. I knock loudly on my window. Let's just say the seat wasn't the only thing ruined in the car.
I turned and my mouth dropped. Alex. From the place where Ben is. Oh Ben. Come on Pam, keep yourself in check. I rolled down the window with intimidation. "Hey, are you okay," Were the first words that came out before I could say anything. "Hey" I could feel the tears reflecting with the headlights of his behind me. He saw them instantly. "Hey, hey" he tried to sooth me through the window, but I had controlled myself before he could reach. "I'm fine, really." I say in the best cover up voice I had ever heard. At least I thought so, apparently Alex heard different. "How about we go somewhere and talk?" It was like an echo that has been following me around all day. What else is there to possibly say? Alex's face lingered near the window and the breath caught in my throat. He was attractive. He was attractive and that was driving me crazy. As if I needed another man in my life to get disappointed with me. But sitting here listening him trying to get me to calm down, the judgment clear from his face made me want to just give in. And that's what I'll do.
I looked up at his face so caring and close. "Yeah, let's go somewhere."
Yes, this chapter was short, but I really liked the last sentence and I just thought it was a great way to end this chapter! Chapter 10 coming very soon!
Stuff my stocking with reviews!
-Jamfan2000-