Extraordinary Measures Chapter 10

See! I told you I was working on it! ;) I am very happy that I could present to you the next chapter of this story. I'm trying. I am going to finish these stories; light bulbs will no longer decease above my head. How in the heck is it already May?

It was beautiful; we stood so wordlessly staring out at the water. It was quiet and my mind for once, was as well. I followed the area where my mind stood still. I could feel his presence beside me, but it was peaceful and warm. I suddenly felt his hand on my arm and I stiffened for a moment, looking back at him. He was close, but his eyes were closer. I watched, lips trembling in the morning light. Something deep inside of me I feared. He was moving in when the ocean crashed against the bridge.

Bash!

Startling me out of my sleep I open my eyes and looked around at the new scenery. I felt that he was near. I didn't say a word. I watched as he picked himself up off the floor and looked up directly at me. "Well that didn't go like I thought it did." I laughed because simply being here didn't make sense. We went out we talked, I cried and then we took a drive. My car was dropped off at my house and we just drove as far away as we could. It was stupid maybe; I didn't get a chance to explain my side and now after last night I'm not sure it's needed. I looked up now, sitting on the bed watching him that maybe everything would be okay.

The Night Before:

"Let's go somewhere" I heard it clear as day in my voice. What the heck did I just say. No, Pam, take it back. He was so giddy. I felt sick. "Where we going?" Something in his voice sounded familiar. It was the let me save you from your troubles voice. It was something I found in Jim, I loved that he could just drop everything and do what he felt he needed to do as a friend of mine. It was something he loved to do, that's what made it so special. But then again, I also knew Jim. I could feel the tone inside my head scolding me as I looked at this mysterious guy in front of me. You don't know him, he could be dangerous, hell he could be lethal. I looked up at Alex now, the cool air blowing through his hair as I felt the last tear draining down my cheek, and I don't see it. I don't see dangerous or lethal. Is this what the women see on CSI before they get killed? Do they fall into these habitual routines to find comfort in a stranger? It was so reassuring, so nice to have someone who cares enough to follow me. Did you hear what you just said to yourself? It would be good to see Jim follow you and take you out of your car and shake you for being so careless, not some guy that was there when you were adopting Ben. Again, memories swarm around my head building pressure. "Hey, you okay?" I heard his voice once again. I haven't felt nice since I found out that I had a decision to make. If I were to adopt Ben, I could lose Roy and if I were not to... Why does it hurt so bad to even finish that thought? Is it because it is the wrong decision or is it because it was the right one that had to be chosen whether I wanted to or not. It was a simple question.

With Roy, there was no question of what I wanted and with Jim, there was warmth, but I felt the pressure behind it. Maybe the pressure was something else, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Maybe it was just bigger than me. It's the pressure of making the decision that will make me happy. Honestly? I don't know what is going to make me happy. Maybe that's the lie. I do know. I just avoid it. I feel my phone vibrating and I leave it in my pocket. I almost consider answering it when Alex's voice interrupts me. "I know this great place on the other side of town. " I shake my head for a minute. "I think I'm okay." The logical part of my brain speaks out before the other side could get a chance. His smile is short and he nods his head slightly. "I won't bite, I promise." His grin is hanging in thin air and suddenly I just felt sick. "No thanks, I gottta go." I say quickly as I put my car in drive. "What did I say?" he retorts as he moves backward as I rush off into the distance. The light was finally green.

I drive on and find myself continue to drive as I past my street. Something inside of me wanted to roar and I didn't want to hold back this time. I wanted some kind of sign some kind of recognition that I was making the right choices. I pull over a half a mile down the road sit there with my head pressed against the steering wheel. I squeezed the steering wheel with anger, resentment and any other feelings I might have had and watched as they drained from me. My life story just falling down beside me like paper with bits of fire on the corner just starting to grow. My fingertips begged to be let go of the steering wheel. When I do my phone goes off again. I hopelessly dig into my purse and move my hand around for a few minutes. I finally grab it just as the ringtone cut off. I flip it open and see in bright bold lighting. Missed call from Jim. And about ten missed calls from Roy.

I press the envelope on my cell phone and wait. After a moment Roy's voice rushed in with an emotion even I couldn't detect. "Pam, are you okay? It's late and you need to come home. Don't be stupid Pammy." I sigh. I click delete and listen to another. Alright Pam, I get it. Just come home so we can talk about it." Another button pushed. "You know Pam, this is ridiculous. Get home now." I rolled my eyes at the obvious fit he was having, anger pouring from his tongue. "You don't need any kids; you can't even take care of me, your fiancée!" I quickly pressed delete. I moved along through three more messages cutting them off as soon as I heard Roy's voice. I couldn't take another beating. I was finished hearing about what an unfit mother I am.

But the next message took me away. "Hey Pam, its Jim. Listen, I am really sorry about earlier." The back ground was lost for a moment and then he came back to life. "Do you remember that time, when we went to the mall; it was a Saturday I think?" A pause, which brought me back to that day. I knew exactly which day. "You were shopping for kitchen stuff for your house at this crazy expensive store. The guy was actually advertising FIFTY DOLLARS FOR ONE PAN!" He said it the exact way he did that day when we left the store. I told him that it was a really good pan. He of course didn't believe that a good cooking pan had to be fifty dollars. "Go to Walmart," he had suggested, I turned it down and grabbed the shiny pan instead. He just smiled and shook his head. I could feel the tears welding again. "You bought the pan and that wasn't even the craziest part," I grinned, knowing he was grinning. It made me feel whole again. "Dwight walks in and asks, "Will this burn in the sun?" The salesman's eye grew wide. "Burn in the sun?" He inquired. I could feel my hand grabbing his forearm in laughter. Dwight rolled his eyes and examined the pan. "Is it Bear proof?" The question poured out of his mouth just like a nonchalant everyday question. It was great. Jim pressed his head against my shoulder without thinking and it made me tingle from head to toe. He smelled really great. It made me dizzy with happiness. Everything stood still, time, talk everything. It was just Jim and I. He must of felt it too because he looked up at the exact same time and our eyes met.

It was sparkling. We were inches away from being brought together and our lips attached. A loud noise brought us out and the connection was broken. Of course Jim didn't mention this. "And Dwight hounded him down for a manager who had to throw him out for misconduct." His laughter poured through the phone whilst a tear fell down my cheek. "That was a great day, not so much for Dwight but." He chuckled and I let out a sob. I wanted to close my phone and stop the message by there was so much in me that couldn't. I could never refuse Jim. That was a part of the problem. I can stay away from him, no matter how painful, but refusing him was something I hadn't perfected. I didn't want to. Another part of the problem. "Beesly," he paused and I could almost hear the words trembling from his lips. "I hope you are okay." The silence rung heavy in my ears and I couldn't contain my sadness. My phone slipped out of my hand and leaned my head against the seat. I sat there for a minute staring at the headlights that were flashing by. I felt something inside make a decision without my consent and suddenly I was picking up my phone. After a minute I felt something inside me tingling. "Hey Jim…"

Come on guys, you know I couldn't leave Pam defenseless with a man she doesn't know. I hope you like this chapter, more to come. Exciting things to come! :D

Thank you guys for reading!

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-Jamfan2000-