Whew, okay! Cranking out this story best as I can, since it's been two almost three years since past updates. I'm in the process of editing past chapters since I started this when I was about 13 or 14, and I'm now about to be 19. I still struggle with spelling and grammar since I have dyslexia, but I'm trying so hard to catch my mistakes. Also, I'm not focusing so much on action I've decided, more of Raven's story and emotions. I have discovered I SUCK at writing action. Love you all who have read this. Please review! It really helps me.

ONTO THE CHAPTER!

Sleep didn't come easily to me that night, as was the case most nights. Though, this night was different then those other sleepless nights. I couldn't figure out why, but it felt almost like a weight was lifted from my shoulders ever so slightly. Thanks to Cyborg I no longer felt like the teammate that always brought everyone down. Perhaps he was right, I do need to learn to love myself. I've been considering myself the burden of the group, the girl who was going to cause the world to end in a fiery blaze. But my father was destroyed, and Robin was the main reason I was able to destroy him. Yes, the other Titans helped out a lot, but to destroy my father I had to think of something I loved. I thought of Robin, and while my other teammates crossed my mind, and I'm sure that helped too, Robin was the one who kept me going.

At the time I thought that love I was feeling, was one that a teammate should feel for a teammate who just went from hell and back to save you. I never could have imagined a small crush would turn into something so big. Yes, there was always attraction for Robin, what girl wouldn't swoon at the sight of him. Even if that girl is half demon. But how can I love someone if I can't love myself? Is that even possible?

Judging from the buzz I feel in the bond, you're either thinking really hard, or having a nightmare. You okay? I quickly snapped my eyes open. I must be leaking emotions through the bond. I sat up in my bed and closed my eyes, preparing for mediation and mending the cracks in my minds wall.

Don't you have better things to do then snoop in peoples minds? In other words Boy Blunder, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Funny you should be the one saying that, as I recall you ventured into my mind without asking.

That was to save your life.

What do you think I'm trying to do? In Tokyo I got a glimpse of your emotions Rae you're depressed. It's all I can think about!

Explains that vision I saw… you… you said you loved me…

You're my best friend of course I love you.

I see. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.

Raven I….

I closed my mind off completely. That kiss, that was all a means to make me stay. 'You're my best friend of course I love you'; I should have seen this coming. I let my hopes up, and everything is crashing down again. I felt better after talking with Cyborg, but now I feel so much worse. I thought I knew what it was like to have my heart broken, but now I really know. It's the worst feeling in the world, like Beast Boy turned into an elephant and sat on me. I don't belong here, I never did. I don't belong anywhere.

The night slowly drifted by, and eventually I found sleep, though, I didn't sleep soundly. My dreams were plagued by never ending heartbreak, fire, death and destruction.

"Raven…" I know that voice anywhere. "You never thought I actually loved you as something more than a friend right?" I sat up in my bed to see Robin in costume but without his mask.

"I knew you were stupid, but honestly I never expected you to be that stupid. I'm with Starfire. Someone who isn't half evil, someone who wouldn't make me go to hell to save her. She's better, she's prettier, and everyone actually likes her. They don't have to pretend. Unlike with you, I was always afraid your evil side would show through, so I faked our friendship, it's exhausting to have to lie through the bond. I'm done now, and so are you as a Titan. Go back to Hell Raven, that's the only place you belong…" I didn't understand, where was this coming from? Does he really feel this way?

Beep, Beep, Beep

I was quickly pulled out of my nightmare by the sound of a smoke alarm. I checked my communicators clock; 5:25 am. I grabbed a sweatshirt to put on over my pajamas. I didn't remember changing out of my uniform, but I didn't have time to dwell on that now.

"Master Grayson, you know I'm awake at this hour. You could have asked me for help! This is the fourth time you have almost set this mansion on fire! Need I remind you of that incident when you were 14?" There was Alfred scolding Robin, I mean Richard, like he was a young child. Richard was hanging his head in shame and next to him was what looked to be the remainders of bacon…

"Sorry Alfred I was trying to do something nice for her. Breakfast in bed you know." Neck scratching… he must be nervous about something. He must be making Star breakfast, but why?

"I understand Master Dick, but need I remind you, if you put oil in the pan and then add bacon, it will catch on fire! Bacon doesn't need oil! I shall help you make the next batch."

"Okay, she likes it crispy. That's why I added oil, so it gets very crispy." Strange… Star never seemed too fond of burnt bacon. Well now that I know we don't have an emergency on our hands, I can go back to sleep. Or read, I will probably read.

Walking back to my room I couldn't help but chuckle at how everyone else slept through that racket. I have a feeling Bruce is silently cursing Richard out for waking him up. Actually I'm not even sure if Bruce is home yet, though I have a feeling he's used to Richards shenanigans.

Back in my room I felt trapped, I had to think of somewhere else to go. I couldn't concentrate on the book I picked out, and the smell of bacon made my stomach growl. It was just the way I liked it too, burnt. It's not for you Raven. I kept telling myself. He's doing it for Starfire probably; they probably had quite a night last night. Every night since we have been here I would hear Starfire make not so subtle hints towards a very intimate sleepover, but on her planet, you need permission from both sets of parents. Weird aliens.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to concentrate much in my room, I went down to the Batcave. I teleported since I was still unsure on how to use that magic clock that leads to the Batcave. Once I was down there, I felt more at ease. It was dark, damp, and felt comforting to me in a way. I don't know what I was ever thinking, 'for once in my life I didn't want the darkness' I'm a child of a demon, I belong in the dark.

Overtime I got absorbed into a book about murders, serial killers to be exact. Robin used to read these whenever we were faced with murder mysteries in Jump City. He said it helped him get into the mind of the killer and made it easier for him to track and understand the killer's motives. As second in command, I too picked up that habit, and even though we are currently not facing a serial killer case, it gets my mind off of my current troubles.

I was deep into my book when I heard a door open to the Batcave, it was from the street exit door, and I thought it was Batman returning home from Arkham City. A black car pulled up and the window rolled down to reveal a red-haired girl.

"Hi! You must be Raven; I'm Barbra, coed name Oracle, formally Batgirl. Can you give me a hand with my wheelchair? My other car broke down, normally it has a gadget that gets the wheelchair out of the car for me." I stood shocked, Barbra Gordon is Richards best friend.

"Sorry, Dick warned me sometimes you're a bit shy. I can be a bit boisterous when meeting new people." He mentioned me to her?

"Uh, it's fine." I mumbled and went over to help her with her wheelchair.

"He talks about you a lot you know." I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"He said you had the prettiest eyes he has ever seen. I haven't seen your face so I can't confirm it." Shocked I looked up at her. "And now I can see he was right. Thanks by the way, for helping me. It's a pain in my ass. Joker's fault, hope he gets what he deserves today. Bruce is dealing with him now."

I just nodded unsure what to say or do. Still a bit shocked from hearing that Richard said I had pretty eyes.

"RAVEN!" Shouted Beast Boy as he ran down the stairs. He nearly made me blow up the Bat-computer by scaring me.

"WHAT BEAST BOY!" I growled. But noticed Beast Boy was too busy staring at Barbra to say anything.

"Hi! You must be Beast Boy, I'm Barbra!" Beast Boy ran straight towards her grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Very pleased to meet you my lady!" I wanted to smack him across the head, but decided against it.

"You screamed for me?" I asked grumpily.

"Yeah! Boss man wants to talk with you. Also, Starfire is upstairs crying. Our fearless leader upset his lady." He still hadn't taken his eyes off Barbra. And Richard wants to talk to me, I'm guessing he needs girl advice. Probably forgot Star doesn't like burnt bacon or something, and she threw a hissy fit. Honestly it isn't my problem, so why do I want to go up there?

"Can you tell him I'm busy please Beast Boy. I'm going to check up on Star. It was very nice meeting you Barbra." I gave a small smile and walked up the stars with Beast Boy and to both my delight and dismay, saw no sign of Richard. Perhaps he is in his room, or Bruce's study.

I have arrived at Star's door, with no clue what I'm going to say. Honestly, how do you comfort somebody that is dating the love of your life? How can you look them in the eyes and say "You'll be okay" when you secretly wish their relationship would crumble? I truly am a terrible person, and a terrible friend. Yet, I cannot stop that voice in my head saying he deserves better than her when better is clearly not I.

I mustered up the courage to knock on her door.

"If that is you boyfriend Robin, then I do not wish to talk!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes, if Starfire learns a new language through lip contact, she and Robin clearly haven't been doing a lot of kissing because her English sucks. But part of me is very happy about that, though after Tokyo she should be an expert, there was a lot of making out in hotel rooms, and doing who knows what.

"It's me Star." The door instantly flew open.

"I wish to not speak to you either." The door flew right back closed. Well that was certainly an interesting turn of events.

"What did I do? I haven't done anything but sit in my room?" I have to admit, I did not see this coming.

"You… you are a boyfriend stealer!"

"What!?" How can I steal someone who only thinks of me as a friend? The evil part of me is snickering at her sadness, and I'm making little to no attempt at stopping it.

The door opened to a teary eyed beautiful alien, who I once called a friend, even a sister. Now it's almost as if she is my competition, and I'm the sore loser who refuses to back down even when the fight is won fair and square.

"You're all he ends up talking about. Even when he is with me, I feel as if I am not the one truly on his mind. He does not eat, or sleep when worried about you. Yet he comes alive again when he see's that you are well. He had made you break of fast today; I thought it was for me. He got angry; I don't know why he got angry. Is it not custom for ones boyfriend to make them food? I was hoping it would be some gesture to try and save our relationship. But I feel as if instead he has been falling for you." She started to break out into sobs. Part of me is soaring through the clouds as happy as can be, the other part is feeling ashamed of how happy I am, and sad for Star.

"You should talk to him about this Starfire. Perhaps he can explain why he has been behaving this way." I went to put a hand on her shoulder as a means of comfort but she backed away quickly.

"He told me about the kiss. How am I to trust either of you now?" I turned into a deer in headlights. Why would he tell her about the kiss? I guess maybe to be honest, but if it didn't mean anything then why talk about it?

"Please go now." I did, I left feeling ashamed of how hurt she was, and confused. What did this mean for them now? What does this mean for me?

I walked down the stairs, still in a daze at all that has happened in the last few days, when I saw him. He was there waiting for me, not looking very happy, in fact he looked down right furious. I felt like a child under his gaze, but I refused to back down, I glared right on back.

"Raven. We are talking. Now."

REVIEW PLEASE!