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Disclaimer: I do not own Titanic.
5th August 1917
Dear Diary
I can't believe I'm still alive after being shot. It missed my chest and hit my arm instead; I lost quite a bit of blood, but I guess I'm okay. It's just really painful now. I've had it bandaged up and the bullet taken out, but every time I move it, it hurts. Also I know now that I'm never going to go home. That attack earlier today, I'm going to have nightmares about that for ages… I saw three guys killed before my very eyes, two were shot straight through the head while another one was blown up, body pieces going everywhere, I really haven't had the guts to kill anyone. I was running behind this guy and he fell over so I picked him up, but before we on our feet running again, he was shot in the head, and his blood splattered all over my face, and I just stood there shocked. I can still taste the metallically liquid in my mouth; it just sends shivers down my spine whenever I think about it.
God how I miss Rose, I sent her a letter straight after I came back, glad to be alive. I just want hold her in my arms again, tell her everything's going to be okay, but I can't and I'm never going to be able to do that ever again. I haven't told her I feel like this, it would destroy her completely, and I couldn't do that to her I just couldn't. It's just that I've lost all hope of getting out of here. I've seen such terrible things. The last words I said to her were, 'I'll always love you no matter what happens.' Those may be the last words she ever hears from me. And the last words I ever heard from her are, 'I'll love you no matter what happens' as well.
I can't believe this is happening, I just can't, we have just been told that we're 'going over the top' again, right now. And if earlier today wasn't enough. I can't believe I'm being made to do this again.
And on the inside cover of this diary I wrote if found please return to Rose in Santa Monica and our address. I just hope that never has to happen. I miss her so much, words cannot describe it. I just want to feel her warm embrace, her lips against mine, and all that may never happen again, all…
…sorry about that, but I don't know where I am now, but anyways as I was saying before, and all that may never happen again, all thanks to this god damned war.
I have no idea where the heck I am, well what happened before was a gas attack, and most of the men including me 'went over the top' as it was the only way out and well we were going to do it anyway. All I remember next is running and then a German solider ran past me, I thought maybe he didn't see me, wrong. Then it all went black, I guess he knocked me out with the butt of his gun or something, and took me as a prisoner. That's probably where I am behind enemy lines. But what happens to me now, do they kill me, or do they keep me until the war ends which could be forever.
And that means I won't get any of Rose's letters and she won't get any of mine. I think that's all that's keeping her sane at the moment. I have no idea what time it is, whether its daylight or not, how long I've been out or anything. I just hope they don't kill me, and if they do that it's quick and not slow and painful.
How will Rose know that I'm here? Wait a second there's someone here with me…
…his name is Sacha and he says he's been here for weeks already. He has black hair and brown eyes, and he only looks about 17 or 18 years old. I asked him where we are, and he just proved what I wrote earlier, the Germans have captured me. I then asked him how does our family know we're missing, he told me that they will send a letter to whoever telling them that you're missing in action or whatever. God that's going to kill Rose, it may not say I'm dead but I might as well be because, they might not ever find me here. But he said it's doesn't matter to him none because he's got no family, only his cold-hearted grandfather who he doesn't like to call family.
Sacha is from Russia, but he speaks English really well and doesn't really have much of a Russian accent.
A while later Sacha showed me how to write my name in Russian as there was nothing else to do. It looks pretty cool actually.
I then asked him do we get killed here. He shook his head, and showed me a couple of cuts and bruises he had, and said they only ruff you up a bit. Anyways I had better go, I'm going to think of a way out of here and I'm taking Sacha with me. So I'm going to need all the sleep I can get in this hell hole they call a prison.
Jack
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