XII
"Just set it there, Gerta," Belle waved her maid over to the sitting area before the hearth with her dinner tray, stifling a huge yawn. The day was beginning to catch up with her and there was still much to be done before she could find peace in sleep.
"Your bath is nearly ready, m'lady. I believe you have time enough to have your dinner first, though," Gerta said, pouring out a cupful of mead for her lady and setting it next to the covered dish on her tray.
Belle smiled happily at the braised lamb, roasted red potatoes and tender baby carrots on her plate, something comforting after the trying day she'd had. Another covered dish sat on the tray for Rumpelstiltskin when he awoke. She only hoped he'd have an appetite for it. "Gerta, when you're done, please fetch a bucket of hot water, some towels and cloths, soap and some fresh linens for Rumpel's bed. I want to try to get some of the grime off him and his sheets changed so he might be able to rest better tonight."
Her maid looked alarmed. "M'lady, are you certain. It's highly improper for you … won't you let me summon Vasha and her assistants to see to Rum?"
Belle sighed. Only a servant who had been with her as long as Gerta and Bethany would dare question her actions. It was also why she didn't mind imparting some of her happy news with the woman. "Gerta, Rum was granted permission to court me just this morning. He's going to be my husband. There's nothing wrong with me seeing him –"
"Naked?"
The princess blushed and looked down at her dinner. "It's going to happen sooner or later, Gerta. Don't be such a goose," she chuckled.
"Well, m'lady, I think it's wonderful your father is going to allow him to court you. Anyone not blind, simple or stupid can see how much you care for one another," she mumbled under her breath as she hurried through the connecting door to see about Belle's bath preparations.
Belle shook her head wondering how many of her servants were taking bets on her relationship with her spinner. She made quick work of her dinner, having just set her empty plate back on the tray when her guard knocked on the door. "Enter," she called, though not loudly enough to disturb Rumpel's restless sleep.
Merrick – who had stayed behind for his shift despite being in on the rescue mission – opened the door to allow Bae to enter, Abel and Cybil Meyerson following behind him. "Mama!" he cried, rushing to Belle, his cheeks pink with excitement. "How's Papa?" He cast his anxious gaze over at his sleeping father. "Is he ok?"
Belle pulled him onto her lap and kissed his cheek soundly, relieved to see he was no worse for the wear. "Papa's hurt, Bae, but he's going to get better. He took a nasty tumble and he injured himself, but you're not to fret, darling."
Lady Myerson curtsied to the princess. "Highness, I was so sorry to hear about your servant's accident. We would love to have Baelfire come and stay with us tonight if you are amenable."
Belle chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip as she hugged the boy. There hadn't been a night passed that Bae had spent away from her own comfortable apartments she shared with him and his father. "Is … is that something you'd like to do, darling? Spend the night with your friend?" she asked, allowing the decision to rest with her child.
"Would it be ok? Do you think Papa would mind?"
Belle looked towards the bed. "Really, I don't think he'd notice. Yes, I suppose it would be alright if you go." She set him down to fetch a fresh pair of pajamas from his wardrobe. "Cybil, thank you so much. Just have Thorrin bring him back if he gives you any trouble."
The petite blonde smiled fondly at the boy. "Bae's never any trouble, highness. He's such a sweet boy."
Belle said goodnight to them, and Merrick closed the door securely behind them as they took their leave. She hurried to her room, already pulling at her stays to make haste with her bath. Leaving Rumpelstiltskin alone – even with their connecting door open – wasn't something she wanted to do for very long.
*.*.*
"You could have fought … you could have died, Rumpel!"
"You don't mean that! You don't mean that!" he cried, giving a vehement shake of his head. A shiver of fear skittered down his spine at the look of sheer revulsion in her once lovely eyes. Now they held contempt, loathing, hate and he turned away from it, unable to look. Instead he held out his arms as Milah moved to place his son into his embrace – the first of many which would carry him through the lonely years ahead.
Rumpelstiltskin cried out as a fresh wave of agony permeated his senses, fire sparking along his nerve endings. The pain mixed with the memory, the nightmare, had his eyes widening in panic as he reached for his ankle. Soft hands, gentle hands intercepted his, grounding him in the present.
A warm wet cloth came up to wipe gently at his face and he made his eyes focus on the sweet beloved features of his princess as she attempted to soothe him. "Belle …"
"It's alright, my love. I'm here. She can't hurt you any longer," she cooed, soaking the cloth again and wringing it out before trailing it over his neck. "There … that's better, yeah?"
She poured him a cup of cool water from the pitcher and brought it to his lips. He drank it all, his throat parched from the tea he'd drunk earlier and the medicine she'd forced on him after he'd passed out. "Bae? Where's Baelfire?"
"Bae is with Lord and Lady Myerson, darling. He was invited to a sleepover with his friend. I didn't think you would mind considering you're in for a rough night."
He nodded, seeing the logic in her decision to let the child go with his friend. Drinking another cupful of the cool liquid, he handed the goblet back to her and sank back onto his pillows, grinding his teeth against the pain. "What did the doctor have to say?" he asked quietly, agonizing over what he might have said or done during the height of his ordeal.
Belle fingered the long sling wrapped about his neck which held his arm immobile and lower over the tight linen which bound his ribs. "He said you're to wear the sling for the next week, the bindings for the next month and he'll be back to check your ankle in a week to make certain it's setting properly."
She took away his pillows and set them aside, urging him to lie flat against the sheets as she dipped the cloth back into the bucket and made a nice lather with the soft sandalwood soap. "What are you doing, dearie?"
"Giving you a bath, of course," she said simply, concentrating her efforts to his chest and arms, cleaning what she could of his exposed skin while trying to keep the bindings about his ribs dry.
His gaze slid away from her, his lids closing in shame. "What good am I to you now, my mistress?"
The skin about her eyes tightened as her lids narrowed to thin slits. "What do you mean what good are you to me? You are the man I love … you are every good to me, Rumpelstiltskin. Don't talk that way," she admonished sternly. "I nearly died when I saw you go over that ledge into the ravine below." She cleaned each and every abrasion on his arms, the worst of them on the left. "You saved Lucern, Rum. For that the entire kingdom will be grateful to you."
His sable eyes flashed hotly with an ire she'd rarely seen in them. "And yet you're to be the one tending to the cripple. For how long, Belle?"
"Until you're better."
He turned his face away from her, shutting her out.
"Do you really think I am bitter to care for you? Do you not know me at all, Rumpel?" she asked, slipping her fingers beneath his jaw to turn his face back to hers. "I love you, my sweet spinner. You're mine. By your own profession of love, you surrendered your heart. I'll not be giving it back. I'll be having forever from you, thank you very much."
Belle resumed her task as he gaped at her, his countenance dark and stormy. "You deserve better … at least a man who is whole and strong. I may never walk again, Belle, and if you choose me for your husband … I can't let you throw away your life on me, love … I can't."
She set the cloth aside and cradled his face in her warm hands, smoothing her thumbs over his sharp cheekbones. "I don't think this is about what either of us deserve, Rumpelstiltskin. This is Milah talking, isn't it?" She leaned over him, her lips brushing his in a gentle kiss. "I'm not her, love. I could never be her."
"I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm a useless cripple."
"Stop it. I won't have you say such things … especially when it's not true," she protested. "Talk to me. Tell me what she did when you came home from the war. I know whatever you're keeping from me is causing this fear that I'll reject you. Tell me."
Rumpelstiltskin closed his eyes, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. How was it she always knew exactly what troubled him? Why could she always see so easily to the root of his problems? "I don't want you to hate me," he said, his voice an agonized whisper filled with self-loathing.
Belle rested her hand over his heart as she kissed him again, gentle sipping kisses meant to soothe. "I love you, my spinner. My heart is so filled with it there is no room for anything else."
She gave him time, whether to gather his courage or simply ignore her pleas, leaving it entirely in his hands whether or not to tell her, busying herself with bathing his battered body. She helped him sit up so she could wash his back and couldn't help but notice the way his breath hitched as she leaned into him. Her own breath stuttered in her chest, heat unfurling in her belly as his hands came to rest at her waist, his nose ghosting with feather softness below her ear.
"Where's Gerta, dearest? You shouldn't be in here alone with me like this."
She removed the sling from about his neck – having gotten it wet, it being unavoidable – and tossed it to the floor. He groaned as she trailed the soapy cloth over the corded muscles of his back and pulled her closer. If he weren't careful her own flannel nightgown would wind up just as soaked as his sheets were becoming. She chuckled lowly. "Why, darling, you sound as if you don't trust me to behave myself. She knows I won't try to take advantage of an injured man …" Belle purred silkily against the shell of his ear, causing him to shiver. "Not yet, at least. I'll give you a few days … a week at most."
He couldn't help the burst of laughter which issued forth past his lips. "You're incorrigible."
"I made you laugh, though," she smirked cheekily, rinsing out the cloth and clearing the soap off his back so he could lie down again. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Is it bearable? I'd like to wait to give you your medicine until after you've eaten. The doctor said it won't leave you so debilitated if you take it with food."
Rumpelstiltskin caught her hand as she moved to pull the blanket away from his lap, his thumb caressing the light tracery of veins in her wrist. He could tell from her inane chatter just how nervous she was, despite the brave front she was putting on. "I can finish if you want, Belle."
"No," she interjected. "You're my … um, my … well, you're mine, and I want to take care of you." She blushed a fiery shade of crimson as she whipped the blanket away, relieved to find him still in his small clothes. She concentrated on her task, lathering the cloth again and dragging it over his stomach beneath the bindings about his ribs. His muscles flexed under her touch and her eyes flew up to his in askance. "Did I hurt you?"
He shook his head, his sable eyes dark with the desire she was stirring within him. "No," he rasped, his breath stuttering past his parted lips. His own cheeks were pinking as he felt the blood rush to his groin. Her hands so warm against his exposed skin. "No, you didn't hurt me."
"You should be used to it having Vasha and her girls bathe you each night."
One corner of his mouth curved up into a wry smirk. "I don't desire Vasha and her girls, my Belle. She could strip down to nothing and offer herself to me on a bed of rose petals and she still wouldn't hold my interest as you do."
She hurried to finish removing the last of the soap from his belly and legs as Gerta came in with an armful of linens for his bed. Belle pulled the blanket back over him to preserve his modesty, wishing she'd had more time alone with him. She made up her mind right then that she wouldn't be leaving him that night, propriety be damned.
It took half an hour, a knight, the princess and the maid – not to mention a serious blow to the spinner's pride – to get the sheets changed without having to disturb Rumpelstiltskin's position atop the bed. While Belle helped her love change into a fresh nightshirt – there was no way she was going to attempt to get a pair of sleeping pants over that bulkily bandaged ankle – she had Gerta return his dinner to the kitchens to be warmed. Merrick ended his shift, giving over to one of Lucern's knights and all was quiet but for the crackling of the hearth fire.
Belle went about the room, tidying up so Gerta wouldn't have to do it alone and turned out the lamps except for those set on the bedside table. "Would you like me to read to you for a while, Rumpel? Gerta shouldn't be long with your dinner." She adjusted the sling about his neck, but ceased her fussing when he winced.
"I'm so sorry, Belle. This wasn't how I wanted this evening to end," he apologized linking the fingers of his good hand with hers.
"It's not your fault. Luc was just trying to share something with the boys that we'd enjoyed as children. The only path to the ruins is rather tricky to cross. No one could have known there would be a snake to spook the horses."
"I know, but … I just wanted …" he ducked his head shyly, peering up at her from beneath his lashes. "I was going to ask Mrs. Potts to prepare us dinner in the garden, u-under your favorite plum tree. I'd found a book of sonnets in the library last week and I've been practicing. I was going to read some to you over dessert. I do want to court you, Belle. I want to show you how very much I love you. A-And it won't just be this way during our courtship. I want it to be this way between us always."
Belle swallowed around the lump of trepidation which rose up to choke her as she brushed a lock of his hair away from his eyes. She'd always been too bold, too brash and impulsive and now didn't seem like the time to change, plunging ahead. "And what are your intentions, Rumpelstiltskin? Do you intend to take me as your wife?" she asked, her gaze filled with the hope she felt in her heart.
"You don't mince words, do you, my mistress?" he whispered, his voice filled with awe for her honesty.
"I would rather you know what I'm thinking than leave you guessing. I fear you've been toyed with enough in your life, my love. And when I want to know something, I will ask you. Now … do you intend to take me as your wife? I don't like feeling so bereft wondering over your feelings."
Rumpelstiltskin brushed the back of his knuckles over her cheek in a soft caress, his eyes sad and luminous as he met her gaze. "I'm broken, Belle, but I'm yours if you'll have me."
She leaned into him, their lips barely touching, afraid to shatter the moment. "You're not broken, Rum, just a little bent. You'll heal, my love … and yes, oh, yes, I'll have you. Forever."
He sipped softly from her lips, coaxing her closer but not deepening the kiss, afraid to frighten her with his ardor. Gods, he wanted her so much, and whether she was amenable or not, he was in no right fit state to do anything about it. "What if I'm never able to walk properly?"
"Shh, you can lean on me."
"What if you grow weary of me?"
Another sweet brush of lips. "I won't."
"What if –"
"Rum, darling … please shut up and just kiss me!"
His hand slipped around to her nape, his thumb caressing the tender flesh just behind her ear as he gave in, his tongue darting out to slide sinuously over her lower lip. She tasted of honey and mead and sweet springtime carrots and he felt as if her lips were the nectar of the gods, manna from heaven sent to sustain him for the rest of his days.
She brought fire to his veins to warm him, to chase away the coldness he'd lived with for so long. The aches in his body and the fiery agony in his ankle were muted as his head swam and his lips drank from hers. She was his everything, the other half of his soul, the truest, purest love he would ever know. He couldn't fathom what he'd ever done to deserve such a gift, but he knew he'd thank the fates, the gods and karma itself for sending her to save him.
Belle pulled back with a cry as she leaned against his chest and he groaned from the pressure to his ribs. "Oh, darling, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I assure you it was worth it," he chuckled.
Gerta clucked wryly as she came into the room with his dinner and noticed the closeness her princess shared with her former servant. "Well, I can see this is going to be the shortest courtship on record."
"Oh, posh!" Belle scoffed, taking the tray from her maid and setting it on Rumpel's lap.
"And you need to make an announcement very soon about your claim on her, Rumpelstiltskin. The kitchen staff is nigh swooning over your heroic acts this afternoon. They'll be throwing themselves at your feet at the first opportunity," Gerta claimed.
Belle arched a brow, none too amused. "Oh, they are, are they? I'll have to have a word with Mrs. Potts in the morning. And Papa, too."
Rumpelstiltskin's brows disappeared beneath his shaggy fringe of tawny hair as his gaze swung between the two women. Apparently, they'd both taken leave of their senses. "But I didn't do anything. I was just as trapped as the prince. It was Gaston and your knights who got us out."
"But it was your quick thinking which kept Lucern from bleeding to death before we could launch a rescue, darling," Belle said proudly. "You're a hero."
"Will you be needing anything else, highness?"
"No, Gerta, it's late. You may retire for the evening. Thank you."
Belle removed the cover from the tray and took up the fork, spearing a carrot and bringing it to her love's lips. He knew it was pointless to argue with her insistence in feeding him, and really, he was too exhausted to bother. He couldn't have imagined Milah taking on such a task … even when she was inclined to pretend to care for him before the war. Belle acted as if it were a privilege to do so. He was hungrier than he'd thought and didn't take long to finish off every last morsel of the well-prepared meal.
She removed the tray and brought it out to the knight guarding their chambers to have it sent back to the kitchen and then gave instruction that they weren't to be disturbed until breakfast. The little drawstring pouch filled with powder to help manage his pain was still on the night table and she didn't hesitate to pick it up and measure out a small amount in a cupful of water, insisting he drink it all.
"Here … lie back, love. It won't take long for it to take effect and you should be ready to sleep," she said, adjusting his pillows and smoothing his blanket.
His fingers closed loosely over her wrist. "Will you stay with me … at least until I doze off?"
She smiled sweetly and caressed his cheek with her fingertips, soothing away his fears. "Oh, darling, I'm not leaving you. Just let me extinguish the lamps, alright?"
It didn't take her but a moment to cast them into muted darkness, only the light from the hearth and a few moonbeams filtering through the curtains left. Then she stood by the bed, biting her lip as she tried to decide which side to sleep on.
"Come onto the right, Belle. At least on that side I have one good arm to hold you," he murmured, holding the blankets up for her to crawl in.
"What if I accidentally hurt you in my sleep?"
"My leg is propped up on so many pillows you'd have to reach for it on purpose. I'll be fine. Come," he coaxed.
Belle eased her weight onto the bed, hoping not to jostle him too much, and nestled against his side. His arm came around her back, his hand tucking in at her waist as he pressed a kiss to her hair and released a sigh of contentment. "Oh, I could definitely get used to this," she whispered, twining her fingers with those of his left.
"Belle?" he asked when she'd been lying next to him for a while. "Are you asleep?"
She yawned and tilted her face up to look at him. "Not yet. Do you need something?"
Rumpelstiltskin sighed, gathering up his flagging courage as he stared into the flames licking away at the pine knot in the hearth. "I did it to myself."
Belle willed herself to remain still despite the excitement now coursing through her. Anytime he chose to share a bit of his past, her heart took flight, the knowledge that he was giving a little piece of himself to her making her love him all the more. She was almost afraid to say anything. Afraid if she did, he would close himself off once more. She made a little noise in the back of her throat to let him know she was listening, hoping he would continue.
"I'd been conscripted, brought to the front and put through training. I was prepared to do my duty and fight despite the senselessness of the cause," he said, his voice low as he lost himself in his memories. "We were to march into our first battle soon and … well, I was assigned to guard duty."
She gave his fingers a gentle squeeze when she felt he'd paused too long, wondering if he'd gotten lost in the morass of painful memories or if the pain medication were beginning to take effect.
"It was a child, Belle … a child, a female with long red hair and thick black stitches where her eyes should have been. She was a seer with big blue eyes in the palms of her hands. Frankly, she was rather terrifying. They had her in a cage … planned to use her to turn the tide of the battle. She couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen winters."
Belle leaned up on her elbow to stare down at him in horror. "Who does such a thing to a child? My father and brother are seasoned soldiers, Rum, and they'd never subject a child to the atrocities of war."
"You don't know the lengths the Duke of the Frontlands will go to in order to win his little war, Belle. He doesn't care. The last we'd heard, he'd lowered the age of conscription to sixteen," he said bitterly. "I was terrified of Baelfire coming of age and having to fight."
"Well that's not something you have to worry over any longer, my love. Our son is safe now, here in Avonlea." She leaned down and brushed her lips to his in a sweet kiss of affirmation and felt him relax once more. "So, what happened to the child seer whom you were guarding?"
"She told me that Milah was pregnant with Bae and my actions on the battlefield would leave my child fatherless," he whispered brokenly. "How could I leave my son? I hadn't even held him for the first time, hadn't touched his cheek or kissed his perfect little brow. I couldn't do it, Belle."
Belle gently petted his hair where it grayed at his temple and caught a solitary tear on her thumb. "Of course, you couldn't, darling. He would have been so lost without you." She placed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. "What did you do?"
"She'd been right about everything else she'd told me. I couldn't take the chance she might be wrong about my death, could I? I took a hammer and I shattered my ankle. I was a coward and –"
"You are not a coward, Rumpelstiltskin!" she cried adamantly.
"I took the coward's way out, Belle. No matter how you deny it, it doesn't change the fact I injured myself so I wouldn't have to fight."
"It also doesn't change the fact that in order to spare your child an uncertain fate, you sacrificed a limb to insure he had you by his side to raise him up into a fine young man. You are not a coward, my love. It was incredibly brave what you did. I know I couldn't have found the courage within myself to do such a thing even if it was for another." She pressed her brow to his, nuzzling against his long nose. "You are his hero, Rumpel. He loves no one as he loves you and he doesn't even know why. One day I hope you will tell him."
"I don't want him to see me as a coward, too afraid to fight the ogres," he hissed in a self-deprecating tone so filled with loathing his voice dripped with it. "It's bad enough he had to see the scorn and ridicule I suffered from those in our village."
"They were small-minded provincials who thrived on the suffering of others to distract them from their own problems," she sneered, carding her fingers through his hair. "Bae would never see you as anything but the hero you are. His hero. And now Lucern's. I'm sure Baelfire will be more than relieved that you chose to maim yourself rather than leave him alone to grow up without you."
"Oh, Belle. You are blinded by love, my darling."
"You just refuse to believe." She kissed him soundly and laid her head on his shoulder once more. "What happened next? Did you have a poor doctor? Is that why your ankle didn't heal properly?"
Rumpelstiltskin laughed bitterly. "Didn't have one. The field doctor at the front refused to set it … said he wouldn't touch a coward who abandoned his duty. I had to fend for myself. Wrapped it up as best I could and set off for home when I could bear weight on it without passing out from the pain."
Belle pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you for telling me."
"I almost didn't."
"I know, love. I know you were afraid I wouldn't love you anymore, but hopefully your fears are now laid to rest?"
The fingers at her waist gave a tentative squeeze as he hugged her tightly. "I was being silly?"
"Oh, yes, most definitely," she said with mock seriousness. "Rumpelstiltskin, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Please don't be afraid to be honest with me."
His voice grew deeper as his medication began to work and pull him towards the blessed bliss of unconsciousness. "I love you too, mistress," he slurred. "I'll try not to fail you."
Belle pulled the duvet up over his left shoulder, cocooning him in warmth as she closed her own eyes. "You won't, Rum … you won't."
A/N: Belle takes caring for her spinner very seriously, don't she? And you have to admit it's nice to see him opening up to her more about his past. Well, did you like it, dearies? Please do let me know one way or the other. Next week, Lucern has an announcement and Baelfire hears the good news :D
Hugs and snuggles to all my awesome sauce reviewers: CLKit, lovepeacebubble121x, scorpion22, Grace5231973, Wondermorena, MyraValhallah, Deb, Jeananne64, christianqueenofegypt, FaerieTales4ever (chapters 10 & 11), smebcwb, Erik'sTrueAngel, Twyla Mercedes, mariahernandezperez26, raiyana, musicbean2, and LoveTVshows.