A/N: THANKS for the reviews guys… you are ALL terrific.

Happy Fanfic-ing guys!

Olivia hit number 1 on her speed dial.

She knew she owed him some kind of explanation for her behavior.

She was trembling as she waited for an answer. She knew that this had to be done face to face, it wasn't a conversation she could have on the phone, even if it would hurt like hell to see the look on his face. It was deserved, she thought. No matter how he saw her later, she had brought this on herself. It had been her choice. Her mistake, and there was no changing it now.

As her thoughts wondered aimlessly, the click of the dial tone told her someone was answering.

"Stabler!"

Her heart pounded.

"Hi… it's me," she answered.

A silence filled the other end of the phone.

"Are you there?" she asked afraid for a moment that he had hung up.

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm afraid if I talk I'll get my head bitten off," he said almost bitterly.

She sighed heavily as she felt her breath catch in her throat. "El, I have to- I have to talk to you. It's important, it's VERY important. Can you meet me somewhere?" she said almost pleadingly.

"Yeah," he answered after a few moments. "Where… where do you wanna meet?"

"Anywhere… my apartment," she said eagerly. In the comfort of her own home might have been slightly easier, in case he stormed out, got too angry to stay.

"Okay," he said. "Are you there now?"

"Yeah."

"Be there soon…" he hung up.

She dropped the phone on the seat beside her and leaned back against the fabric of the couch. It was a long time before he arrived, and she sat stewing over the conversation, imagining his response, or his reaction to her news, to the secret she had carried alone, burdened on her shoulders for more than 2 months.

She would have given anything to feel that sad deep depression of being without him, of missing him, of aching for him… rather than this.

She jumped when she heard the door.

"Damn," she cursed standing from the couch and crossing the room to open the door.

She took a breath before she opened it.

There he stood. Wet from the rain, his hair and clothes soaked through, his shirt hugging itself to his body, showing off more of him than she needed to see. Oh God help me, she prayed silently to herself, as she widened the door to let him in.

"Thanks," he muttered stepping into the apartment.

He looked around and walked into the loungeroom, flopping down on the couch, as if this was a comforting home to him, a place of refuge where he came without an invitation. She smiled at the way he did it, he could do anything and she would think it was amazing, she knew that now. No matter what he did, she would love him.

She had loved him for a long time, despite his marriage, his children. She had never made anything of it of course, she had never asked more of him than she needed to, never took more of him than she had a right to. No, he had belonged to Kathy, for all intents and purposes, he had promised his life to her. Olivia respected that.

"So what do you wanna talk about," he said from his position on the couch. "It sounded urgent."

"It is," she said simply lowering herself beside him.

"Okay, well…"

He waited.

"I wanted to say sorry first…" she began. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. Or if… if they think little of me after this. No matter what it is, I just wanted to say that… Oh GOD, El."

He cupped her face gently.

"What is it?" he asked almost pleadingly.

"I made a mistake…" she sighed.

"About what?"

"About you… about- about me, about us?"

He seemed to smile, as his finger traced her jaw-line.

"And what's that?"

"I wanted to ask you to stay, tell you that I-" she stopped then thinking about Kathy, about his children. How could she say the words that had been suppressed for so long when the situation with his family was still the same?

"Tell me what?"

"Why did you come back here?"

He pulled his hand away, dropping it on his lap.

"I couldn't… I couldn't be away from you anymore. I couldn't pretend that I wanted Kathy, and it wasn't fair. I hated you for a long time, for turning me away. For making me choose HER and not you."

Her heart rate increased. Did he mean that? Oh God, she hoped not.

You know me… short chapters, but it means I update quicker than most and there is always SOMETHING in each chapter that grabs the readers… at least I HOPE there is. Lol

Review and I shall post more… :)

PROMISE the next will tell you WHY he left… and soon will come THE SECRET!