What Happened Last Time….

As I lay in silence I heard my lullaby playing. I forgot I put it on repeat in my bedroom. For once I was thankful that I had stubbed my toe, because that moment led me to make the decision to listen to the CD. The CD full of Edwards's composures that I knew would be the only thing to get me through the next three days of this unbearable torture. I listened intently as I imagined him playing my lullaby, allowing myself to forget that he didn't want me, to think that he still loved me knowing I would regret it later, but not caring… this is what I needed to do to get through the awful pain I was silently enduring.

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A/N: This is now Edward's POV. It will probably go back to Bella's POV after this chapter because I can write her POV better I think… but you be the judge :)

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*EDWARD'S POV

I was pacing back and forth in the Alaskan snow, not realizing I was actually digging myself a trench until two small hands plucked me up, only to be set on even ground with her. My little pixie sister, Alice, was looking at me with sad eyes.

"Aww Alice… don't start again please. I can't take it anymore," I said while reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

There he goes pinching his nose again… She then pictured tearing it off and throwing it across the open field we were in with all her might.

I almost chuckled at the way her mind worked. With my vampire power of being a mind-reader it was hard not to know exactly how the minds of my siblings and parents worked. Alice's was one of my favorites. But now was not the time to laugh.

I had been away from my Bella for all but half a day. I was miserable. After her birthday party that we, the stupid vampires, tried to throw for her, the perfect, beautiful, pure human, I knew we couldn't endanger her any longer. It was too much a risk; I knew she had to hate me for it. She wanted me to change her, have her give up on humanity and risk her soul for me… I am no where near worth the type of love she instilled in me. I couldn't do it – I couldn't allow her to lose everything she was, soft, warm, Bella for me, the stone cold vampire.

I quickly shook my head trying to clear my mind of the images of Bella that relentlessly surfaced.

"What Alice?" I said bitterly. I didn't mean to, it wasn't her fault.. this was my fault, all my fault.

She then turned the full power of her potent stare on me and demanded that we return to Forks.

EDWARD! She shrieked in her mind Don't you dare make me drag you back there.. and don't doubt me.. I'll do it if I have to rip you to pieces and cart you back that way! We didn't do this right, Bella is going to be hurting, Edward. I, her best friend, should be there when my stupid brother broke her heart!

"ALICE!" I roared, stalking closer to her putting mere centimeters between us. She didn't even flinch, she knew me too well to know I'd never hurt her. I stepped back and inhaled a calming breath, missing the burn that usually lingered at the back of my throat from Bella's mouthwatering aroma.

"Alice…" I said calmer. "Please.. you know that this is… this is so hard already Alice. Please.. we were only hurting her, you know that. We can't go back, I promised her. I can't break my promise." I pleaded. As I said these words if I could cry my face would have been streaked with tears.

The way Bella looked as I lied to her over and over again, filling her head with the thoughts that I didn't love her. The blacked kind of blasphemy that existed on this planet, I had created. To think that she believed me in mere minutes broke my unbeating heart.

I couldn't shake the deadened look in her eyes as she began to cry, believing every lie I was feeding to her to save her soul. She was broken, shattered, and it was all my fault. I knew she would be okay though. She had to be. I couldn't be responsible for any more pain in Bella's life.

I looked at Alice and saw that she was sobbing dry sobs; her mind strangely quiet, her grief too immense to put into thoughts or words. I took a step towards her and pulled her tiny body into a hug.

Look at what I've done to my family I bitterly thought to myself. I couldn't believe all the pain and trouble I've caused in such an incredibly short time.

I miss her… I pulled back from the embrace enough to look into her eyes and nod my head, she knew I felt the same.

Maybe Alice could go back… I know I can't because once I see her I'd never be able to leave again, even if it would be better for her. I mentally scolded myself for being such a selfish creature. No.. Stop it, I can't let Alice go back.. I would never be able to let only Alice go back.. Maybe I could just go and check on her to see if everything was okay…

As I was running through all my options I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath and felt her go rigid in my arms. I pulled her back and looked in her eyes, knowing that they would be glassy and detached.

I pulled the nature of her vision from her mind as she was witnessing it.

Bella was in the forest, she was in a bush… Why was she in a bush I wondered, then realizing she probably fell on her way out of the forest that I left her in, pain shot through my chest as I thought of those last moments… I was pulled back into Alice's vision when I saw the red headed creature I thought I would never see again. Victoria was watching her from afar, watching her stumble around the forest finally making it to her house… the vision skipped forward… Victoria was watching Bella and Charlie in their living room from outside the kitchen window. Bella turned to rush into the kitchen, tripped and fell, knocking over a glass figurine. She cut her palms when she landed in the glass, as soon as the smell hit Victoria she leapt through the kitchen door, landing in a crouch as Bella looked up with a look of pure torture on her face.

"NOOOO!" I bellowed as the vision stopped. Before I knew it I was racing across the Alaskan wilderness towards the Volvo. I had to reach her before it was too… what if I didn't reach her in time? I knew I would be heading to Italy if I lost her. I couldn't lose her, I hated myself for making the wrong decision yet again, I thought it was so safe in Forks. I never expected, a hiss escaped my lips as I thought her name, Victoria to come to Forks looking for Bella. But why, what was the reason? Unless… no, could I have missed something as detrimental as that? I must of, but how? Victoria must have been James' mate… that means, no.. Victoria is seeking revenge, mate for mate.

I was in the Volvo racing home to Forks at well over 140mph. I knew Alice would run to the house we were staying at and alert the rest of my family who would be on their way back to Forks soon, if they hadn't left already.

The entire drive I couldn't even think straight, I was dry sobbing, pain shooting through my empty chest. I had left Bella for her own good, to protect her from our kind… and what I did instead was leave her unprotected. I would never forgive myself for as long as I existed. I was the worst thing that ever happened to Bella, she was much better off never meeting me and my kind. I loathed myself and everything I'd ever done to harm Bella.

I relieved the night I almost lost her once before, the night that ended the day she spent at my house. We decided to go play baseball; I love how she was so thrilled to spend time with us, unafraid – so brave. My Bella.

I made the drive back to Forks in record timing; completing the entire two day trip in less than 10 hours. My phone was vibrating almost the whole time, but I refused to answer it. I didn't want to hear what I so dreaded, that I was too late. I couldn't be too late… I had to do one thing right for Bella. I had to save her.

I threw the car into park and was inside her door in an instant, not even trying to walk human speed so I didn't attract attention. The familiar burning in my throat was intense as I neared her, I couldn't see her but I could hear her strained heartbeat and I knew she was still alive. I can't describe the feeling that course through me at that moment. I also heard my music playing from her bedroom. I almost chuckled… how stupid of me to try to hide her things, I knew she would find them and I was so glad she did. The chuckle that threatened to escape was quickly stuck in my throat as I finally laid eyes on her.

Laying so still and pale I would have sworn she was dead if not for the heartbeat I heard; I collapsed to my knees on the floor when I saw that Charlie was lying, definitely dead, a few feet away from her.

Is she in shock? I wondered.. what happened here? I could smell her blood.. but that was from the cuts on her hands from the glass Alice had seen her fall in. Why was she so still? I moved closer to her, before gently calling her name.

"Bella?" I whispered. She stirred at the sound of my voice and I was so grateful for that little movement I swept her up in my arms. She let out a blood curdling scream when I touched that my heart broke like shattered glass.

"Bella, don't scream – it's me, Edward Bella.. It's Edward. I'm so sorry I left you.. I'm so sorry," I choked out through sobs, I quickly glanced over her to see where she was hurt as she continued screaming and crying out in pain. I could smell Victoria on her and it sickened me to think she hurt her. Then I saw it.

Her shirt was torn in a crescent shaped mark on her shoulder.

"No" I gasped as I pulled her shirt off her shoulder to examine the damage. I then saw the light pink scar that was left of the bite. The venom had healed it already, sealing it into her body. She was changing.. Victoria bit her. I let out a growl that shook the windows panes with its strength.

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A/N: Cliff Hanger! I hope you enjoyed it; next chapter will be in Bella's POV – although it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to write in Edward's POV. I am going to start on the next chapter now, I already have the plot in my head – but it is going to get complex and a little complicated so it might take a little bit to get it up, I'm gunning for tonight – but no promises. LOL Review if you wish :)