My life had become normal, or as normal as the life of a mutant could get. I had the classes I taught every day, the friends I was making. But all I could think of was him. Logan. The man that I feared because of what he meant to me. He was everything I had taught myself to never be. Untamed, irrational, volatile. I couldn't rid myself of his memories and they permeated everything I did, every one of my dreams was shadowed by his scent, his heat and his touch. The memory of him called to me.

After a particularly vivid dream I had about four months after I had come to the school, I stood at my en suite sink, cool water splashing over my hands as I washed my face. I couldn't do this anymore I realised. I was being selfish staying here. And I knew from experience that it would all end in blood and darkness.

Slamming my fist into the mirror in front of me I felt the cracked glass cut my fingers. Crimson blood dripped into the sink and turned the water swirling down the drain pink. I forced my body not to heal itself needing to feel the pain instead of the deep aching need for freedom that had been beating through me for weeks now.

Sighing I knitted the glass atoms back together so that the cracks disappeared and then let my body heal. After washing the blood away I let Professor Xavier know that I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be able to chaperone the trip to the museum that day. Changing from my pj's into a pair of dark blue track pants and a black tank top I padded barefoot to the danger room below the mansion. Programming a fighting simulation into the system I lost myself in a fight against hundreds of enemy soldiers, all from different eras in history.

Hours later I walked out of the room with new bruises littering my body and in the process of healing. I heard the children and their teachers arriving back at the school as I turned on my shower. Once I was finished and dressed there came a knock at my bedroom door.

"Come in," I called out as I stood in front of my mirror towel-drying my hair.

Rogue's head popped around my door. "Hey Jen," she smiled. "I was just wondering if you were feeling well enough to come down for lunch. Storm says we're eating in like five minutes. If not I'll bring ya somethin' from the kitchen?"

I turned to look at the younger girl tucking my still damp hair behind my ear. "I'll be down in a moment, sweeting. Just let me change and I'll come down to help with the food."

"Okay," she smiled sweetly before leaving.

Running a brush quickly through my hair and ignoring the water collecting at the tips I grabbed a long sleeved, green cotton shirt with a ripped neckline. Pulling it over my head I let it slip down over one shoulder showing off the cream coloured tank top I was wearing underneath. I changed my shorts for a worn pair of jeans and slipped on a pair of ballet flats.

Glancing at myself in the mirror I sighed and grabbed an elastic band to tie my hair with as I walked out of the room.

"Jenna, may I see you in my study please?" I jumped as Xavier's voice filled my mind.

Changing direction I walked to his study and found that Storm, Jean and Scott were already there.

"Please, have a seat," the Professor said to me.

I sat on one of the couches in the room, pulling my feet up under me. "What happened?" I asked knowing something was wrong. I knew these people so well now that I didn't need to read the echoes in the room to know that they were all worried about something.

Scott explained about the attack on the president from his spot leaning against the large bay-window casing. "My opinion, Magneto's behind this," he concluded turning to the rest of us in the room.

"No, I don't think so, Scott," Jean said from her seat opposite the Professor at the chess table.

"While Eric is capable of organising something like this from prison, for him it would be irrational," Xavier added. "It would only hurt his goal of mutant prosperity."

Scott sat down at the opposite end of the couch from me, holding his tie to his chest as he did. "You mean superiority."

Xavier looked up at him. "You're right. If Eric had his way."

"And of course you know how the government will react," Storm said coming to sit down beside me.

I sighed, "They'll reintroduce the registration act," I said softly sitting back and playing with the ends of my hair while I looked around the room.

"Or worse," Xavier said. "The president could declare a state of emergency. Place every mutant in the country under arrest."

Jean spoke up glancing once at Scott to share a look only married couples could understand. This was more dangerous than they had thought. "Do you think the mutant was working alone?" she asked Xavier and we all looked to him needing to know what he thought as our leader.

"Oh, we'll only know that if we find him before the authorities do," he told her. "I've been trying to track him using Cerebro, but his movements are…inexplicably erratic." His blue eyes locked with each of our gazes in turn as he spoke. "When I have more exact coordinates Storm, Jean, I'll need you to take the jet and try and pick him up," the two women nodded and I unfolded my legs from underneath me thinking the meeting was over and wanting to get to the kitchen to feed the kids. But Xavier wasn't finished. "Jenna, I need to speak with you. If the rest of you would be so kind as to go and get lunch ready?"

Once they were gone the Professor manoeuvred his wheelchair so that he was right in front of me.

I turned away from his penetrating but kind gaze. "I know-."

The usually polite man interrupted me. "You cannot keep this up, Jenna," he told me. "The danger room is not to be abused and you are not indestructible."

I blew a small breath out between my lips my aqua eyes lifting to his blue. "It's the only way to keep the guilt at bay, Professor. I should have left here months ago but I have become too comfortable, too soft. If anything happened to anyone because of me…" I looked away the faces of my students, my friends, filling my mind. "Evil follows me, Professor."

Xavier took my hands in his. "We protect our family here, Jenna. You are safe, even if you don't believe it."

I gave him a watery smile, "I will leave at the end of the week, Professor." I stood up. "I'm sorry but this is the only way I can keep everyone here safe."

I left the study blinking back tears. Walking to the kitchens I helped serve lunch. However, my appetite was gone. After cleaning up with Bobby and Rogue's help I went back up to my room. Once the door had closed behind me and the rest of the world was blocked out I let myself vent the frustration I was feeling. Glaring at the mirror in my bathroom again I pressed my fingers to the glass and let it disintegrate into sand. Feeling minutely better I took another shower feeling dirty all of a sudden as I thought about the children I was putting in danger. I even went as far as to rewash my hair.

Sitting in the middle of my bed when I was dressed in my clothes again I stared at myself in the dresser mirror that hung on the wall across from my bed.

I didn't answer the knock on my door but that didn't stop Storm from walking in anyway.

"Hey!" she snapped when I didn't look away from the mirror. I was so lost in the memories I had in my head, most of which weren't mine, that I jumped when she stepped between me and my mirror. "Come on," she said when I looked up at her. "Let's go. No more moping around in your room. You've got babysitting duty. The Professor is going to look for the mutant that attacked the president and then he's going to go visit Magneto with Scott. You're gonna be all by yourself with all the children."

I sighed but realised there was no use in getting upset about what I couldn't change. I plastered an almost real smile on my face and shook myself. "All right. I need to go and see if some of the kids need help with the assignment I set them yesterday. It's due tomorrow and I have a feeling John, Jubilee and Peter were sleeping through my class anyway."

Storm smiled. "Okay then," she nodded in satisfaction as if she had forced me up.

I rolled my eyes at her good naturedly and smiled as she pulled me to my feet. We started toward the study room where I knew at least a few of my students always hung around when they had free time or homework.

I heard a motorcycle coming up the drive but didn't give it any thought as we stopped in the dormitory hallway off of the teacher's wing so that I could help a young boy called Jeff tie his shoelaces. He was only five years old but because of his pebble-like skin and his ability to turn the things he touched into stone at will, he had been abandoned on the school's doorstep a month ago by his parents. I had been the one to find him screaming for his mother standing in the middle of the driveway in the rain and turning everything that touched him into stone. He had learnt to trust me and then the others around him and was now able to control his powers for the most part.

"You're so good with the children," Storm said after Jeff had run off to play with his friends, safe for the moment, from tripping over.

I shook my head. "They let me in, that's all. Well, that and I've had centuries of practice," I quipped grinning at the mocha skinned woman.

She shook her head, a smile on her face as we got to the stairs that lead down to the north wing entrance. I froze on the landing when I saw Bobby and Rogue talking to Logan in the entranceway.

"Well, look who's come back," Storm said making her way down the rest of the steps. "Just in time," She added with a quick saucy grin up at me. I just glared at her, folding my arms across my chest trying not to look at Logan as my stomach tied itself in knots.

"For what?" Logan asked her.

She walked up to join him, Bobby and Rogue. "We need another babysitter."

"Babysitter?" He asked and I finally had the courage to walk down the stairs as well.

I plastered a smile on my face. "It'll be just you, me and fifty kids," I sighed pulling my hair over one shoulder and plaiting it, trying to act nonchalant.

Logan's eyes moved over me. "You've made yourself at home."

I clenched my jaw feeling the familiar anger well up that I had felt when I was last near him. "And you're as charming as ever," I snapped. "Bringing home strays as well, I see," I added haughtily seeing a figure standing in the shadows of the entranceway door.

Logan had the audacity to smirk, "Wouldn't 've thought you'd call him a stray, darlin'."

My eyebrows drew together in an angry glare only to fly up in surprise when I heard a voice I would know anywhere.

"Jenna, cheri. Still with the quick temper. Ain't yah a sight for sore eyes, amore?"

I gasped before pushing past Logan and throwing myself into a welcome pair of arms, "Remy!" I sobbed into his shoulder, happy tears sliding down my face.

Our happy reunion was spoilt when Logan spoke up, "Well? You gonna tell us how the two of you know each other?" he asked.

I stepped back and took Remy's hand pulling him into the small group. "Remy and I have been friends for years," I said with a happy smile at the tall man beside me. His long brown hair, red eyes hidden under the shadow of the rim of his fedora and the quality cut of his long coat seemed so different from Logan's old battered leather jacket, jeans, plaid shirt and heavy boots.

"Really?" Storm asked and I could tell she was curious as to how friendly Remy and I were.

"She saved m' life and decided ah needed a sister. Ain't left me alone since," Remy said earning a jab in the ribs from my elbow as he joked.

"Remy," I sighed exasperated. "This is Ororo Munroe aka Storm, Bobby Drake aka Iceman and Rogue," I said introducing him to everyone there.

Remy shook hands with Bobby and leant over Storm and Rogue's hands kissing their knuckles in a move that even had Storm a little flustered.

"Behave," I hissed at him seeing the lingering look he gave Rogue. He just flashed me the grin that had every woman I knew swooning at his feet and pulled the tie from my hair unravelling my plait as he threw his arm over my shoulders.

For some reason I noticed that Logan bristled at the move. I just rolled my eyes and wrapped my arm around Remy's waist not needing to see Logan's reunion with a certain redhead who was just coming down the same staircase Storm and I had used. Excusing us from the others I lead Remy away. "You should meet the Professor," I told him. "How long are you staying, Remy? I will have to find you a room. How did you and Logan meet?"

With a long suffering sigh Remy stopped my blabbering by putting the hand that was draped over my shoulder over my mouth. "Ah'm stayin' as long as yah are, cheri. Logan came 'nd found me. Haven't seen him in years 'nd then he came into the casino and used them claws t' get me t' come back with him. Somethin' 'bout yah givin' him his memories back?" He raised a questioning brow and looked down at me.

I peeled his hand away from my mouth as I tried to ignore the blush colouring my cheeks. "I didn't realise what had happened to him. He touched me and it was as if my head was going to explode. I had to make it stop so I channelled his memories back to him. I stopped as soon as I realised he had lost them before." I didn't say anymore, not wanting to put words to what had been happening to me ever since.

"There's more, ain't there?" Remy asked.

I looked up at the only person I had let close, the man who was my brother in so many ways and my oldest and dearest friend. My gaze slid away from his as I sat down on a window seat in the hall, "I haven't been able to get him out of my head. I've dreamt about him every night since he's been gone and his memories just won't fade from my mind. He's lived for years, Remy," I said looking up at him as he sat down beside me taking off his fedora to push a hand through his long hair. "He can heal as I can. And… he scares me," I added twisting my fingers together in my lap. "When I'm near him I loose control of who I am. He pushes all my buttons and he knows it. He kept pushing me to give him his memories back but I'm not strong enough I was in a coma the last time he tried to take them back."

Remy tensed his red eyes sparking dangerously, "He put yah in a coma, cheri?"

I put a hand on his arm, both to calm him and to steady my skittish nerves, "It was my own fault. I let him bait me into getting close enough for him to put my hand to his skin. I was already weakened from being in such a new place with so many new echoes that I couldn't fight it and I couldn't channel them back to him. I blacked out."

Remy interrupted me, "Yah died too, didn't yah, cheri?"

I looked out the window and over the grounds of the mansion, "Probably," I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. The Professor has taught me ways to strengthen my powers and I've even got a job here," I added smiling at Remy.

He leaned back relaxing into a corner of the window seat our knees touching. "Well, well, ain't that a surprise. My little Jenna got herself a job."

I huffed at him, hitting him in the stomach. "Don't make me hurt you," I laughed with him.

After Remy had met the Professor and Scott and Jean I showed him to an empty room near mine and left him to unpack his things warning him not to go flirting with any of the females in the other dormitories unless he wanted to deal with Scott and the Professor.

I was walking to the kitchen to find some food since my appetite was back. I rounded a corner near the t.v. room and ran smack into someone.

I groaned from where I had landed hard on the floor, my nose broken and my face aching with a cold pain. Looking up I blew my hair out of my eyes realising I had walked into Logan's chest and, thanks to the adamantium on his bones, my nose was smashed and my face bruised. Getting slowly to my feet I waited until my face was healed before I glared at him. "What do you want?" I asked wiping the blood from my top lip with the back of my hand.

He walked passed me grabbing my arm and towing me to the elevator hidden behind the wood panelling of the hall.

"Where are we going?" I asked knowing that struggling against his hold was futile.

"Gonna see the Professor." Was his gruff response as the elevator door closed behind us and he pushed the button for the lower levels of the mansion.

We were quiet as we rode the elevator down. Logan pulled a cigar from his jacket pocket and lit it, drawing in a large amount of the smoke and relaxing a little. I ignored how the smoke melded with his scent and made me wonder if his skin smelt the same. When the elevator door opened with a soft hiss I gratefully stepped out and into the large area of the hall outside it putting some distance between Logan and I and missing the smirk on his face as we walked toward Cerebro. The door was open and Xavier was sitting at the end of the walkway as if he was waiting for us.

"Jenna," Xavier greeted without turning around as we walked into the room before he addressed the man beside me. "Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the mansion not withstanding; continue smoking that in here and you will spend the rest of your days under the belief that you are a six year old girl."

I choked on a laugh as Logan took the cigar from between his teeth. "You'd do that?" he asked surprised.

"I'll have Jenna braid your hair," the Professor said with a smile in his voice.

This time I couldn't hold back my laugh. "I'll put beads in and everything darlin'," I told him putting a southern drawl into the last word.

Logan raised an eyebrow at me as Xavier put on the helmet that connected his mind to Cerebro. "Welcome back," he added still talking to Logan who was looking for somewhere to stub out his cigar.

The doors of the room slid shut and I jumped as Logan ground the lit end of his cigar into the palm of his hand. The smell of burning flesh made me wince as did Logan's gasps of pain. I grabbed his hand feeling the calluses of his fingers under my touch as he lifted the cigar, and I watched the burn shrink to nothing, my hands starting to shake.

I glanced up at Logan and froze; his hand warm in mine.

"You want us to leave?" Logan asked the Professor breaking eye contact and I dropped his hand and turned my back on him.

"No," Xavier said, "Just…don't move."

The rectangular metal panels on the wall seemed to shrink as I watched and then it was like we were propelled forward and there was suddenly a map of the world shining with white lights around us.

"These lights represent every living person on the planet." Xavier explained. "The white lights are humans," everything turned red and a few less lights showed up on the map. "And these are the mutants," figures of the mutants themselves moved around us. "Through Cerebro, I'm connected to all of them, and they to me," the Professor said. "You see, we're not as alone as you think."

I realised that he was talking to both Logan and I.

I had a job keeping still when Logan spoke up. "I found the base at Alkali Lake," he told Xavier. "There was nothing there."

Seeming to take no notice of Logan's words Xavier nodded slightly to the map of North America, "The broken line represents the path of the mutant that attacked the president. I've been finding it difficult to get a lock on him."

"Huh," Logan scoffed. "Can't you just concentrate harder?" he asked his jacket brushing against my back and pulling me from my thoughts, the lights becoming clear in my eyes again as I refocused on them.

"If I wanted to kill him; yes," the Professor said dryly. "There. Looks like he's finally stopped running," the map moved closer and I saw the figure of the mutant kneeling and murmuring a prayer in Russian. And then the room went back to normal. Xavier took off his helmet and put it down on its stand.

"I need you and Jenna to read my mind again," Logan said.

I started when he said my name. "That's why you brought me down here, to blackmail me into giving you back your memories?" I whorled on him but he ignored me looking only to Xavier.

"Logan," the Professor said turning his chair around so that he faced us. "I'm afraid the results will be the same as before."

I saw the restrained anger in the dark man's eyes as he shook his head, "We had a deal."

"The mind is not a box that can simply be unlocked and opened," Xavier explained. "It's a beehive with a million different compartments."

Logan spoke over him, "Spare me the lecture."

Xavier sighed, his infinite patience making me ashamed of my outburst, "I have no doubt your amnesia, your adamantium skeleton, the claws, are all somehow connected. But, Logan, sometimes the mind needs to discover things for itself."

Logan's glare turned to me, "They're my memories and you're just gonna keep them?" he growled.

I looked away, "I only know what I saw the first time I touched you. I gave you those memories back. Because of my black out the second time I don't remember anything I saw."

"You're lying." His voice dropped to a snarl and my eyes flicked to his as I took a fearful step away from him remembering his hand around my throat the last time he was this angry at me.

"I don't remember anything. If I did I would give them back to you," I said my heart pounding.

Logan's nostrils flared and I was sure he was about to lunge at me when Xavier manoeuvred his wheelchair between us, "Enough, Logan. We will talk some more when I return. If you would both be kind enough not to kill each other while you're looking after the children tonight, Scott and I are going to visit an old friend."

I saw Xavier's small smile as he rolled out of the room and wondered if he had read anything in Logan's mind or mine to have made him smile like that.

Logan watched him leave before putting his cigar back into his mouth and turning to glare down at me.

Pushing my fear to the side I lifted my chin and swept passed him and out of the room, determined not to let him intimidate me.